Time in the Bathroom - podcast episode cover

Time in the Bathroom

Jun 04, 202416 min
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Episode description

How long does it take you to poop, why March 23, 2020 is an important date for the MN Goodbye, where Bailey shops, and more!

Transcript

Let's get started on the Minnesota good Bye. I'm gonna check the way for him first. You know, they don't do this on good podcasts. I mean, like you know, you hear the good ones. They don't go check check check check. But on our brilliant podcasts, we're not just good, we're brilliant. We're brilliant. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say. We are just because you know, that's what I like to think of ourselves. Any of you. In the background, you hear the sound of

Bailey opening the diet cose. Bailey is the new Steve Latart when it comes to food and like drinking things. On the show, I said I was going to get a diet coke and I did, and I'm back and it's delicious. You are late for every time we start the Minnesota Goodbye, and I'm not you. It's on me. Do you guys start without me? We got we're on a schedule here. I said I would be right back. I didn't think she was going to be right back, And we'll be

gone for twenty minutes. Do women when they go, because Susan will dart into the bathroom. She's in there for about ninety two seconds and then she's out and I know she's pooped because as you know, you know, but it's so quick. But a guy will go in there, pull out his phone, start scrolling through TikTok. Pretty soon his legs are getting dumb because he's been on the toilet? Is it? And I don't want to ask about your personal habits, but how long does it take you to poop?

I mean I also go and sit on my phone, so a long time. Usually, Like if I think, oh, I just have to pee, I won't take my phone in okay, and then it turns into more than that, and I'm like, dang it, I wish I brought my phone. Yeah, because now what do you do? Then you have to start grabbing things that are near you to read the back, So like oh, like shampoo bottle or something, I'm going to read the back of this, or oh, these wipes, I'm going to read the back of this.

Okay, Gosha, just read the backs of things, Jenny, how long does it take you to poop? Well, since I've been writing my autobiography on the toilet a long time, I've brought in pieces of paper because it takes so long that I was like, I might as well use this time for something productive. No, I am a scroller. I'm the same as what you just said. Men, do I bring my phone in?

He scirl. I really thought it was like most of the girls that I've dated, I never knew when they pooped, unless, like you know, there was one girl. I remember we were on a date and we ran out of gas and we had to walk to the gas station about a mile, get gas, come back to the car, then drive home. The minute we got home, this poor girl ran to the bathroom. She had

been holding it for like more than an hour. And I still remember feeling bad for her because we were still new enough in the dating scene that you don't poop at a new date's house. You just don't. And I remember so bad that that. I mean, I felt bad for because she had to poop that bad for that long she had to hold it, and then she had to, you know, do the thing where you don't want to but you have to. Let's get into the emails here, so let us

know about your poop stories. How long do you take to poop? Well, it's something everybody has in common. A hereby go Dave Jenny Bailey and vaunt. Thank you for reading my email on the podcast and saving my number if you were in the Buffalo are I made my husband listen to that episode and when he heard my email, he thought that was the coolest thing. I will drop my email ad or my address below for the staff writer sticker since the first one never made it. I honestly have not sent out staff

writer stickers in about two months. I'm way behind and I need to get those done. I went as far back as the Minnesota Goodbye podcast. I've been listening to old episodes. My god, I found the original dart Lick episode. I've never laughed so hard listening to a podcast. If anybody would like to find it. It is from March twenty third of twenty twenty titled not Safe for Work Fisting Thursday. Was that when Steve used to name the

podcast or fallon as Steve did it okay in SFW Fisting Thursday? Oh my god, I love you all, thanks for the never ending laughs. That is from Brittany in Buffalo. Thank you. Brittany Chow is a regular staff writer, and Chow says of the day as catching up on the Goodbye Steve was on the show I was like, Steve was back for only for the Minnesota Goodbye. Then I noticed that I had the podcast on Oldest first. Oh, I was like, what I did notice that Drake was always late

in making excuses. Then Zach seems a bit And I'm not going to say that because I don't want to. I don't want to say that something about Zach Dylon that wasn't negative. It was just something that they noticed. So I will leave that out because I am not going to insult other people that listen that work on the radio station. Unless it's cult, then I am no. I love. I don't know Colt that well. Do you know Colt that well? I do? Do you want to just put those up

real quick? Sorry about the pots right there? Thank you. I don't know him super super well. I mean we both got to work with him back in the day when he was the night person, so obviously we worked very different shifts than Colt, so we didn't get to cross paths very often. He is a very genuinely kind human him, his whole family, his wife is such a sweetheart. Like I just think Colt's a great person.

That's kind of what I get too. I don't know him that well, because, like you said, he worked at the opposite end of the clock when he was here, and we'd see him in staff meetings, but he was always very pleasant. Next one is from Ryanne in Monticello. She says, growing up, I spent a lot of my childhood with my godparents seventy ish at the time. Now my godmother lives with me at ninety four. She used to make me put peroxide on my wounds because we talked about peroxide

the other day. Yeah, with your teeth, uh huh. And I remember hating it. It stung so bad, but felt effective because you can watch the foam. Yes, it foams when you scratch or cut yourself and you put peroxide, it foams, which makes it seem like it's working. No idea if it really was effective or not. Lol. And also I forgot to write my address. Last time I wrote, I wrote about questioning what your favorite song would be that encompasses your journey. Did we talk about

that? Yeah, it was just like last week we did. Said, oh that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Next one is from Mary question for Bailey, specifically Bailey, where do you shop for clothes? I love her style. It reminds me of Missus Frizzle from the show The Magic School Bus, which I hope you will take as a compliment. Thanks for all you do, Ah right, Mary.

Yeah. I get a lot of my clothes thrifted. There's my favorite thrift store is called Everyday People and it's off of Selby Avenue in Saint Paul. They're really like reliably priced, I think, because a lot of vintage stores are way overpriced. I think, yeah they are, that's old, and

so I get a lot of stuff from there. But then I also really like this website called Unique Vintage, and I feel like most of my closet now is from Unique Vintage, and they do kind of like vintage recreation kind of clothing and they always have some kind of like sale or deal going on. So most of my clothes come from their thrifting or their like Disney dresses that I buy when I'm there, and I spend way too much money on it. You do have your own style. You're dressed. I mean,

this is a small it's a small world dress today. Oh it is a small world. Yeah it's a Disney dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very cute. I like this stuff. It's cute. I love it, and missus Frizzol is cool. I love the fact that you are unashamedly dress the way you do. You know what I mean, like unabadgedly, unashamedly that is. I really admire that about you. Fun clothes too, I try to wear fun clothes. I've got roller skates on my shirt today.

It's cute. I'd wear it if it was a dress. I'm gonna go out to the read to the kids today at the mall, and I want to look fun. Yeah, But then I thought, as I put this on, it's got roller skates. Do three year old four year olds know what a roller skate is? Yeah? I think people maybe kids still roller well, it's more roller blading nowadays, but they're gonna know what roller skates

are too. Yeah. Okay, next one, Hello, Dave. I wrote you a while ago about getting scammed trying to buy a Taylor Swift ticket. Now, she wrote a snail mail and she basically had talked about how she spent five hundred dollars I think on a ticket to a Taylor Swift show in Florida, and she was going to fly down and see it by herself, and she was like, oh my god, I got a deal. I got to get an airline ticket. She paid the money and then immediately

got blocked and ghosted. She got totally scammed. So I wrote her back and I said, don't feel stupid. It happens to a ton of people. You know, lesson learned, and there's tons of scammers out there. She says, I got your letter back today. Because I wrote her a snail mail back, I didn't expect to hear anything back. Your kind words really meant a lot. I feel dumb, and unfortunately, I've heard of this happening to a lot of other Swifties. Much like Taylor, I'm a

big believer in karma. Those rotten scammers will get their payback someday. I never was able to get a ticket to her show, so I'm taking a solo trip to San Diego since I already had that time off. Thanks for the stickers, one for home, one for work, and sending the third one to my older sister that lives in South Carolina from Becca, She's making the most out of it. Yeah, I mean, she had the time off already, so I just felt like anybody who takes the time to write

a snail mail to the radio station deserves a snail mail response. Yes, because if I ever wrote to a radio station or you know, like let's say I wrote to I don't know, Frank Vassilero over at Channel four, and if he didn't write back, I'd feel like, oh, well, I took the time. So I think if you write a snail mail, you deserve a letter back. Yeah, so I do. Then there's one from a marketing company that wants us to join this one. Here's another one.

Very excited for the addition of vont to the show. He is a million times better than Drake. Also nice to have another female voice on the show with Bailey. I love the Mixtape Game, and I think with the new show members, it would be a great time to bring it back, maybe just once a month, though it doesn't get to be too much. I miss hearing the mixtape game. It was my favorite bit, so I would love it if you could start doing it again. Write that, Jenny,

Yes, I love that idea. It was also my favorite bit too. Really, I loved the mixtape game. I think we stopped doing it because it just got a little bit long and long winded and we would look at the audio, and we think we talked for five minutes. We talked for like eighteen minutes. Well, we used to do like five rounds or something, and we cut it down to like three, and usually I was

a longer, like fifteen twenty minute segment. I was also thinking about making War of the Roses shorter because I was listening to it last week and I, I'll say it, I got bored with it. I was listening back to War of the Roses and it's like, God, just get to the point. Sure, So I was thinking of a slogan for War of the Roses shorter, quicker, thicker. Now the thicker doesn't really mean anything, but it's funny. War of the Roses now shorter, quicker, thicker.

You do love catchphrases. I do love catchphrases, like we came up with one when Vaunt was on the show, A Bigger, Better Blacker, and you know we still use that one once in a while. But should we make War of the Roses shorter to get to the point now? Jenny and I think we actually discussed this last week. People love War of the Roses, and just like on a long video on Facebook or Instagram, if it's good, you'll watch the whole thing. I yeah, I mean I said

that. I don't think we should make it too much shorter because it has been shortened multiple times over the years, Like when I started back in the day, we used to do so many different things on it, and it's definitely been shortened to get to the point of it more So I don't think we should, but maybe other people have different opinions. Yeah, let us know whether we should, you know, shorten up War of the Roses. I appreciate the speeding through the phone call part at the beginning, like Hi,

this is Linn with your phone company, yep. Sitting through that I'd always be like because I never knew what was going to happen, and so I'm glad that that part at least is sped through. Yeah. I didn't really add anything to it, but you know what, maybe we'll try. I think we got a record, we got somebody who is a potential War of the Roses that we're going to try to record later today, and maybe I'll try to make it bigger, quicker, no shorter, quicker, thicker,

shorter, quicker, thicker. Yes, yeah, I think all right, we'll try it next one from Cali. She says, my work schedule is awful when it comes to oh, they want to win Shine Down tickets. So it's not really a Minnesota goodbye email. So we'll move on to the next one. Let's see if we have something here. Hold on, my computer is going very slowly. Okay, let's try this one. It

is called cuteness. I want to share something cute with you. My daughter wrote about meeting you at t Rex Cookies for her personal narrative at school. It was such a special moment for her. She has been listening to you for as long as she can remember, as have I. She was wondering if you ever have kids at your ukulele club. She was a part of a ukulele club in school this year, and she said she'd love to come down to one of your club meetings. Might be a fun idea if you

can get enough kiddos interested. I'm sure she would just die if she heard this on the Minnesota Goodbye if you feel it would be a good fit. Thanks for being a positive spot in our day. We love you and the crew. That's from Jess and Jade. Yeah, oh for sure. Anybody's welcome to the Ukulele Club. Bailey's come a couple of times. Yeah, I'm in it. Did you ever play your ukulele anymore? No? I

play it at the ukule Club at the ukule Club. Yeah, but I like all the people in it. How many chords do you know, Bailey? I know, three for sure, okay, four mostly okay, and then the rest of them, I just I play the four that I know. Yeah, you kind of figure out. Well. The funny thing is about a lot of ukulele songs is that you can play a lot of songs

with just three or four chords. So, as a matter of fact, there's like a three chord ukulele songbook where it's all songs with GC and F. I think, yeah, I know C C a minor and FD no ce a minor and g indeed. Yeah, that's yeah. You play a lot of songs with that, and I think that's Oh. There's one from Dan dan Is on the Minnesota Goodbye. Once in a while, I always remind you that Dan is the one who's got a traumatic brain injury because he was writing in an ATV hit a tree head on the front. Tires of

the ATV wrapped around the tree and touched each other. Wow, that's how Hardy hit the fucking tree, he says. Dear Beautiful Bailey and Jenny Vaunt and dorky Dave. I'm writing this hope in hopes that I collect another seventeen pounds of tabtops and reached one thousand pounds of tabtops donated to the Ronald McDonald House in the past sixteen years. I will donate them on June twenty second

at Back to the Fifties. That's right. I've donated nine hundred ten pounds of tabtops in the past fifteen years, and I currently have seventy three pounds this year to donate. It takes about fifteen hundred tabs to make a pound. Sincerely, yours truly, Dan from beautiful Apple Valley. And so is this a thing? I've always wondered whether that's a real thing, the top of a popcan, when you pull that thing back, you snap it off and you donate it to Ronald McDonald house is or that must be a real

thing. I do that. My Dad's done that my entire life. So we've always like taken the pop tabs off and kept them to donate them. And I know you used to be able to bring them to McDonald's. But it's nice to know you could bring them with the Back to the Fifties because I might go to that. So Back to the Fifties is a big car show, right, car show? Okay? Cool? I think that's all we have today on the Minnesota Goodbye. If I missed anything, then we

will try to get to it tomorrow. But I think that's it. We're always looking for emails for the Minnesota Goodbye, so send them in to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com. And don't forget to tell us how long it takes you to poop.

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