The Long Story

Here we go with a Minnesota goodbye, Kelly writes in Hello Morning Show, fam. You know when we read these emails, I haven't read them in advance. They're kind of like opening a present on Christmas. It's like, oh, what's this and you shake it a little bit, you look to see how long it is or how big it is or whatever. So I never know what we're gonna get you. Ready, Yes, catching up on some old Minnesota goodbyes came across the

Why did you just have that hanging out?

I probably was taking it somewhere, had my hands full, needed to unlock the door or something, and then put it up on top of the car and then drove off.

Yeah, this's never happened to me. I've never accidentally put something on top of my car and driven away.

We need them.

There is that shoe tree over on still on the Washington Avenue bridge by U of M, where everybody throws their I.

Would assume it's still there. That's a staple of the U of them, so I would assume it's still there. But I haven't gone over that bridge and a few time.

Yeah, we did a bit one time, many years ago where we put a baby carrier. We duct taped a baby carrier to the top of a car and then would drive around with it to sing a baby.

Like a fake baby in it.

Not I don't even know if we had a fake baby we might have just to see what kind of reaction we would get. What a cruel, awful prank to play on people. Now we would do that, But years years ago that was funny. That was a good bit. Good bit. Okay, here we go. Oh, this one is a fake one. Do you want to hear a fake one? Yeah, says you got a new fan of your podcast. I've been enjoying it and following you on social media. But they called the address us Hey team, and it's from

Oh oh yeah.

Man interviews in humor, including features on the Morning and ladib led Bible, have garnered Vinyl viral attention. He's got a memoir called A Long Story. He dives into the physical and mental health challenges that come with his condition, his passion about breaking down misconceptions around masculinity and body image, offering insights on how men can embrace their bodies with confidence.

Okay, so not really.

I mean it is a fake email sort of because they know nothing about us, but it is like a pr email of trying to get their client on a podcast or whatever.

We get these, We get probably a dozen a day and I block every single one. So when somebody says, hey, it's National Horticulture Month, we would love to get somebody on your show to talk about horticulture, and that's what their job is. But they also they send out just a shotgun approach, hitting every media outlet that they can, regardless of whether we're right for them or not.

Oh yeah, I mean I used to work for Minneapolis, which is Minneapolis's Visitors and Conventions Bureau, and I did PR and so we.

Would just have a huge media list.

We'd send the same press release out to everyone and it wasn't specified anyone. I don't even know who was on the media list after the time. It was just automated. And it's like now I look back being on the other side of it and being like, God, we were annoying.

Well, they used to do letters back in before email. I was the public affairs director. That's like a nothing title at a radio station. I think he got twenty five dollars extra a month for doing it. And that would be like you would look at the Salvation Armies event and then you would type up a little card that said, Hey, the Salvation Army is doing their annual Christmas gala this Saturday. For more information, call this whatever. And but now it's all emails, all of its emails,

You said, for this one largest medically what penis prove confirmed?

Penis what's his name?

Yeah, Marr b R Bar this one to meet.

I'm clicking on in link and here is a picture of Matt.

Bar Do we see a picture of this pis?

Well, let me see what it says here he says a long story, Life with the World's Largest penis, Matt Barr's autobiography about Life with the biggest cock to have been independently confirmed by medical professionals. Well, let's see how long it actually is.

I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing it.

I don't really care to see it, but I will show you a picture of his face.

Oh, never mind, No, I'm good.

Now, if you're curious, let's go ahead and take a guess here and we'll give the answer tomorrow. Okay, okay, So what do you think the answer reminded me? Because I'll forget this tomorrow. Yes, give me a guess in inches how long this world's longest confirmed penis is.

I'm going to ask a question, are we talking flaccid or like hard? Because what are we measuring?

It doesn't say, It doesn't say, but I'm going to say probably hard.

Okay, that's what I would assume too, because okay, I'm gonna go it's got to be at least a foot, I.

Say fifteen inches.

Oh gosh, oh I got him. I saw a fifteen inch pece I run Soka'd be so scared.

Wouldn't you be curious? Though? Wouldn't you want to see it? Wouldn't you want? And I'm not trying to be like salacious or stupid. Wouldn't you want to play with it? Because it's so big?

I don't know if I want to play with it, but I'd want to see it, just like for just to know.

I don't know.

I don't Okay, maybe I'm getting little bit too personal. If you don't want answer that, it's not too personal.

I just like I I don't know.

I think penisize is such a specific thing to certain people.

Some people love big old.

And some people are good with if the person just like knows how to treat the other person right, you know, So like for me, I don't know, it doesn't matter that he has a huge penis.

I'm good.

I heard women say that they don't necessarily want to have sex with a guy with a giant penis, but they're curious about looking at it because size can be kind of a visual turn on. Yeah, okay, I will give you the size tomorrow. If you want to send in a guess and maybe you have a story about a boyfriend with a very long or very small pen that might be and if you want to stay anonymous, that might be a good topic to talk about on the Minnesota Goodbye Tomorrow.

Yeah, but no shaming anyone.

Well, no, there's small, No, And that's that's one of my pet peeves in life as a guy. Not every guy has. If there's if there's an average penis, there's going to be bigger than average, there's going to be smaller than average. And it really pisses me off when people go, oh, well, he must have a small dick, or he's a jerk, How Betty has a small dick, or yeah, he dumped me after one date, he probably has a small dick. Or I went out with him and he had a small dick, so that he's worthless.

Right, And women shouldn't be shamed either though, because I think women's bodies also are scrutinized just as much as men's.

But women will openly say on social media or whatever, or in a conversation at lunch, they'll be like, yeah, well, yeah, he's probably got a small dick, or he drives a truck, so he's probably got a small dick. And you won't judge women like that. You would, But if a table of guys is going, yeah, well, you know she's got a big old fat ass, and you know she's got cellulate and she's got small titties, then you're going, well, you're a table full of fucking pigs.

I feel like you would judge women for they do it.

So openly all the time, all the time, because I.

Have friends that talk like that, don't.

Like, I don't know a time that I've had friends like yes, we've talked about penis sizes before, of course we have, like the people, but it wasn't a matter of like, oh my god, he had such a small penis, like blah blah blah like it. It never was in a context that was negative or like that person's useless because they have a small penis. It was just like, yeah, you know, he was like a little bit smaller, you know.

That, So I have.

I've heard it on the show. I've heard callers. I've heard for years, oh well yeah, I mean he's really cute, but he's probably got a small dick. And it's like, okay, so that's kind of the go to an insult for a guy. The guy that this Matt bar guy. If you're wonder what he looks like, he looks like a fat Kevin Neelan with a goatee. Okay, thirty five to forty five years old.

But I would say more closer to forty five forty five.

Ok kind of a fat doe looking Kevin Neeland. But then now here I am judging this guy for being fat, but I'm just describing him. He is kind of a chubbo he I mean I was, but he's got a big dick, so it makes up for it.

You know, he would be a surprise if he ended up in my bedroom and I didn't know he had this bag Penis, I'd be.

Like, whoa, whoa, sorry were you behind in that day?

It's taped to his flag. No, I'm glad.

I'm glad taped to his leg exactly. I'm glad that I opened that email because that was really really interesting. And I think that's one of the things about the Minnesota Goodbye. We're never trying to be vulgar. We never set out to be salacious. We just have conversations that you know that like on Caller Daddy, I don't listen to call her Daddy, but they talk about things openly sexual that you can't really talk about like in the conference room at work.

Yeah, it's a very different podcast than what it used to be, but they do still talk about sex. It's not only sex based anymore more, though she's evolved. Alex Cooper has next one.

Are you guys gonna be Giving Away? Tickets at the Minnesota Yacht Club. I just saw the lineup and dying to go. So yeah, Becky, we will absolutely have tickets. We'll probably have probably more tickets than any other radio station. Yeah, as we get closer to the actual show.

Bunch last summer, so I'm assuming will have.

The lineup is like cooler this year. I think in general it's very.

Like Warped Tour two thousand and five or something.

Fibes.

It's a little bit more like emo rock then like there's not really pop acts like I kind of considered Gwen Stefani pop out. Yeah, and this year is a little more like rock bands. If nobody knows what we're talking about. It's a new festival that's gonna be in St. Paul, and the headliners are maybe like to help me out, Green Day, fallow Up Boy, Cozier, Weezer, Weezer is one of them.

Green Day. You said that those are like the heap, those like the big ones.

But yeah, it'll be a great one again.

I'm excited.

I mean, I don't I'm not like a huge concert person, but I would go and see a handful of those. I haven't seen fall Up Boy since I was probably like nineteen years old, so that'll be nostalgic.

All right, move on the next email. Here Dave, Jenny, Bailey, and vont TiO, Sarah and Cole. Here from the friends who have a KDWB group chat group. Now we've talked about them before, where like during the show or after the show though group chat and be like, oh my god, did you hear what Jenny did today? Or did you hear what Bailey said today? That type of thing to start, y'all rock and we listen every morning. Thanks for making HD a little bit brighter. I want to say, sincerely,

Cool.

Thanks to your website. We found a great hotel in old Town. I'm excited to explore the city of Chaime. We're all Chang Mei. We're all so thank Yeah, Okay, we'll see a lot of temples and you recommend in the Mung village too. Jena, do you have any tips or advice before our trip? Have a great rest to day. We'll be listening from Thailand next week. That's from Sarah and Cole.

J You know, I don't have any advice for Pouquette because I did not go to that island. However, I do recommend like renting a scooters in the islands because it's easier to bop around on scooters and it's fun and it's cheap and whatever.

Chang Mai, do not do not rent a scooter.

It is fucking crazy traffic around there, and you can get fined, and it's a little bit stricter in the busy cities. But honestly, everything's kind of on my website that I would recommend already, so if you're already looking at that, I don't think I have like too much outside of that. But my other thing is bring wet wipes.

Bring home. Everywhere you are not going to have.

Access to water, You're gonna eat street food, your hands are gonna get sticky, and you're just gonna feel a little bit dirty here and there. So just like have what wipes on you at all times. That was one thing we did not have. And so I just walked around eating like a stick of chicken. And then the next thing I know, my hands are sticky for the next like two hours. So I got back to wherever we were staying. So I have still fun pieland's amazing.

I need to go back. That's super much more I want to explore.

I'm still so impressed that you even went to Thailand. That is awesome. Eka, that is going to do it now for the Minnesota goodbye, So remember tune in tomorrow, tune in, download up stream whatever the podcast tomorrow. So we'll talk about Matt Barr's Giant Wang and I will

And don't google it.

No, don't google it. Wait till tomorrow on the Minnesota Goodbye. Send those to Ryan Show at kadiwb dot com.