Certain things we don't really talk about on the radio show as much. I didn't really talk about my colonoscopy and the issues with that this weekend. But I had like the bad stomach bug and I went home from work on Friday. You remember Friday. I left it like ten o'clock. Yeah. Yeah, you were out of here pretty quick because there was like probably halfway through the show. You sat down and You're like, oh, Johnny, it's hitting me. And I was like, well, you got to go make
it to ten o'clock. You didn't know you had finished full show, but it was Thursday. You got to leave around because you couldn't. Yeah, you can't hold your your stuff in. Well. People said, why in the world would you do colin oscoby prep and then come into work, And I said, because I've never really had an issue with it before. And that was the first time that I've ever really like, you know, struggled
with it. Anyway, I'm not getting into a whole lot of details, but it was a rough weekend, and on Friday, it did something that I'd not done that I remember since I was in junior high. And I call it junior high because that's in Colorado. We call it junior high. And that was the last time I remember being sick enough that I laid in bed. Because usually when you're sick, when you're a kid or an adult, especially when you're a kid, you sit there in your pj's in front
of the TV. Mom brings you popsicles, Dad makes your chicken soup, and you watch Prices. Right, I didn't want to watch anything. I didn't want to eat anything. I just laid in bed and just m I think i'd groaned and I don't remember, but was just miserable. Anyway, felt a little bit better Saturday, enough to like sit up and watch TV.
Sunday went to the Mall of America. I'm not going to diss the product that we bought, but there's a new store at Mall of America and it has to do with something athletic, and I don't want to tell you exactly what it is. If you write to me and tell me you're write, I'll tell you what it is. But but it was a bit We walked by the store, we said, Hey, that looks cool, let's go in there and check it out. So we walk in. It's a
very boutiquish store. Okay, and they sell something for fits. They basically sell one thing in different varieties for fitness, and I'll tell you what it is off the podcast. And so we're like, oh, that sounds really cool. And so I was proud of myself that I discovered this, and I was going to talk about it and talk about it maybe like on my radar. And we went home and tried it and it was not good. Oh oh no, yeah, it wasn't good. You eliminated most stores.
I kind of figured you weren't talking about like some of the big stores because you said it was a newer one. Yeah, and you said athletic. So yeah, I don't know what store it would be and what you would have bought. I'll ask you after. Yeah, it's anyway. So and
then yesterday I felt good enough to go for a walk. But if you are only going to wrap it up by saying if you get a colonoscopy, col anoscopy, most of the time you got nothing to worry about, but maybe one in twenty times, it's like, oh, that was rough. All right, let's move on to the emails. You ready, Jenny, I'm ready, all right, here we go. When you are trying to fall asleep, says Alison from Minneapolis. Do you imagine anything in your head
to help you sleep? I I have found that if I print I'm sleep, If I pretend I'm sleeping, I fall asleep faster. Or I also might pretend I'm in a tent camping by a bonfire. It's weird, but it works. I asked my dad and he said he thinks of his image from his childhood. It was an image of a little boy sleeping printed on the back of a cereal box. My dad doesn't remember why it was on the cereal box or why he still remembers it from so long ago, but
he claims it helps him go to sleep instantly. Do you guys do this at all? Or am I just a weirdo? I would love to know what others think of to help them falling asleep as well. Love you guys. Hope this email is worth a sticker. That is absolutely Allison. I will send one to you, so thank you very much. Sometimes I think that I think of like something pleasant from my past, like a road trip or a camping trip or something like that, instead of trying to think about
all the things that I got to deal with tomorrow or whatever. Yeah, I used to. When I was young. I would think about like my favorite thing that happened in the day or something, or think about like a family trip to the Wisconsin Dallas and I'd go over like the details of each day in my head. And now, unfortunately, I just think about every stupid thing I said throughout the day or everything I need to get done.
Like my brain cannot focus on anything but like a to do list now when I'm going to sleep, And it's like I'm just people that like can't shut it off, and I can't, and I've tried. I've tried to be like, think of something pleasant, think of being on a beach or snowboarding or something and that you love. It just doesn't happen for me now as an adult. Yeah, And sometimes those thoughts get in your head and it's really rough, especially if you had something traumatizing, like if your cat just
died. Good luck falling asleep six hours after your cat died. Yeah, how are you going to fall asleep? You're gonna lay there and toss and turn. And that's a hard thought to push from your mind and think about your trip to Wisconsin Dell. So I usually to answer your question, Alison, I try to think of something pleasant, like an old trip or memory. Next one from Eric. I've looked through Jenny's post about her trip to Tahiti. I have some questions. I don't know where to send them,
so let's do this. I was wondering if you guys rented a car Jenny, we did. Yes. I think that that's important unless you are booking a ton of excursions, then you might not need one, okay. Also, is mainland Tahiti have enough activities in sights for a full week or do you really need to go over to another island Morea Morea, Yeahrea to get the full experience. Absolutely would not recommend spending more than like two to three
days in Tahiti. I would It's only a thirty minute ferry ride to Molrea, so it's not hard to get there. Bora Bora is very expensive and it's another flight away, so it adds up a lot if you're trying to go to other islands and there's other ones you can go, I mean,
the French Polynesia have like one hundred and seventy islands or something. But wow, But I would recommend only doing a couple of days in Tahiti, and then we did five days in Molrea, and I think that that was almost like a day too much, like we could have probably done like four days or something, so like a week worth of vacation in between the two islands. How was the faery They said they get sick on faerry rides. Was it manageable or would I get seasick? Was there a lot of waves?
I will be honest, The ride there was very simple. We sat on the front, like on the outside deck and watched like the approaching island coming up. But on the way back Andrew almost like lost it because he gets he gets e motion sickness. Well he just can't do like roller coasters and stuff like that anymore. And it was really wavy on the way back, and we sat inside and I think that that helped, but it didn't really bother me. But I don't deal with that, so I would say,
pack some dramamines if you can, and it shouldn't be too bad. And like I said, it's only a half hour, so if you can tough it out, it really isn't that bad. It just depends on, like you know, the weather that day. And I actually there was an earthquake like in the Southeast Asia area, like the day before when we were taking the ferry. So I think the waves were affected by that and that's why our ferry ride was real bumby. Uh. That's thing about seasickness. I
never know when it's going to hit me. I went on a gambling boat one time off of Fort Myers years ago with Susan. Everybody got sick. It was miserable, but Susan did not. I went snorkeling in the Bahamas twenty years ago. It was miserable until we got in the water. Once she got in the water, there was no boat rocking back and forth.
But yeah, seasickness can just know well with your experience. When I see like these big cruise ships on TikTok or something and they're like going back and forth even though they're these huge ships, I don't know how people handle that. Like I've been on the TikTok side where it's all these people going to Antarctica lately and they have to go through the Drake passage and it's like a lot of times it gets delayed getting to Antarctica because the drake passage can be
so like treacherous. Oh, Jenny, it's so interesting. Yes, I don't know how, Like I would love to do what they're doing, but that would scare me to even be on a boat when they're like, yeah, it's gonna be okay today, but you're still rocking back. Oh Okay, I'm going to stop and we're going to talk about the Drake Passage for a second. Okay. I just read a book called The Wager, and if we do a What's on your Radar this week, I'm going to talk about the book The Wager. Yeah, and I picked it up on a
whim on one of the best seller tables at Barnes and Noble. The Wager is a ship, a British ship from two hundred and fifty years ago, and it was sailing from England around the tip of South America the Drake Passage, which are the most violent seas in the world because apparently the Atlantic and Pacific come crashing against each other and it's cold and it's icebergs and it's awful.
And the fact that cruise ships go through some of the most violent seas in the world sounds horrible, scary and really exciting at the same time. If I could do that and not get seasick. I would do it in a heartbeat. That would be super cool if you want to read a really good book and you're into that kind of thing. The Wagers about this, you know, this man o war would sailing ship from two hundred and fifty
years ago that's going after treasure and they're trying to capture a ship. But then they get sick and the ship gets damaged and they get shipwrecked and it is called the Wager and some of them survive, and how they survive is not no, it's not what you think, is not cannibalism. It's just really such a great story called the Wager. Okay. Next one, ar Cheeto's at Chip. Sydney writes in we had people come over to play the games and we got into a debate. Oh, I've never thought about that
one before. Ar Cheeto's a chip. Possible arguments Here we go, They're a chip because they're in the chip aisle. Rebuttal, so are pretzels and popcorn? True? If they're not a chip, then what are they? Rebuttal? Just like a pretzel, they're their own thing. If you need a classification, I would call them a puff. Further rebuttal well, then ar Cheetos puffs considered puffy puffs. The answer is yes. So what do you think our Cheeto's a chip? Sidney? I love you. I don't
know. I did. They're not a chip in anymore. No, they're not a chip. They are Okay, I don't know. I just I would put them in the same category. I know that it's a different shape made differently. But for me, I've always thought Cheetos are chips. They come in the little snack packs and the variety of chips that you get with your lunches that you pack for your little cold lunches in high school and stuff. Yeah, Cheetos have always been chips to me. Okay, what would
you say though? Are you saying that they'd be pussised or their own thing? There's their own thing. I think if you call them a chip, it's not a huge sin. But they're just really not a chip. They're a cheeto. It's kind of like I'm trying to think of, you know, she said, popcorn is not a chip, Pretzels are not a chip, Fredo's are a chip. Bugles are bugles at chip or our bugles? Bugles I would say a chip, they're chip. Okay, interesting debate,
let us know what you think. Thank you, Sidney. Next one, I've got my Dave Ryan staff writer sticker and my other sticker, so thank you so much. They are proudly on display on my Stanley water bottle. But I wanted to email and start the random topic of the day, duo lingo. I believe Dave tried babbel at one point to learn another language. I did, and it didn't work. It just was not in any way clicking in my mind at all. I don't remember a bit of it from
day to day. I just finally gave up Spanish right learning Spanish. Yeah, and I think I got to cancel my subscription because I'm still a member over a year ago. Oh, I was so excited to remember. If you want to try to learn again, try Duo Lingo. It is very interactive and takes on the approach of a gaming style of learning. Highly recommend Plus it's more motivating with streaks and unlocking chess for points. That's all for
now, have a great week, Kendra. Thank you. I think I will try that one because I think it'd be really cool to learn enough Spanish to at least say a few phrases. And you know, if I ever meet some who is I told you about the time. This was so stupid and embarrassing, and it's me being a stupid white guy. So I get out of the car one day and there's some guys doing yard work in my
garage and there they look like they're Mexican. So I walk up and I go ola, because I want to be like friendly, and some of them don't you know. I thought they would appreciate me speaking Spanish, so I said hola, and one of them goes, hey, how are you, And I'm like, ah, fuck. He had the whitest Minnesota accent. Ever he's Mexican. I mean, I guess he was Mexican. And I thought, what a dumb white guy thing to do. But at the same
time, my intentions were good. Yeah, I believe him. My mom started speaking Spanish to the Taco Bell drive through person one time because she I've
never seen my mom. I've seen my mom drunk like maybe three times in my entire life, and this was the night where she was drunk, and we went through the Taco Bell drive through and she started speaking Spanish and I had to shout at her, and I said, mom, like, this isn't an authentic mexicanstot where everyone there might be of like the Spanish or Mexican descent or something, so you better shut it. And she just kept screaming olaf to the person working that drive through, and I apologize to them.
Oh my god, that is so funny. All right, I got time for one more. Then we're gonna take a quick break and then do a little edit here. I want to say thank you from Danielle for the staff rider sticker. I fall into the group of still not picking a place to stick it because I'm afraid I will gret. I will regret where I put it. Anyway. She tells a story about how somebody she's got two kids, and somebody went by the flashing school bus stop sign an arm that goes
out. They went racing by without even stopping. God, and she's like, oh my god, and she tried to chase and yell and whatever, and the bus driver was able to get video footage. They caught the driver. They have a fine of up to one thousand dollars, ninety days in jail and or community service. It's gratifying to know that the person got what was coming to them. I hope they learned a lesson as well. I wanted to share this and ask if any of you or people listening have any
good stories of people in the wrong getting what they deserve. Thanks for reading from Danielle. I do. And one of my favorite is one of the DJs that was here in town that was basically he was an asshole and he eventually ruined his career by being an asshole. And one of the funniest parts was when he got fired from his job. He called KATIEWB and said, hey, yeah, I'm calling to ask if there's any openings, and my boss said, are you fucking crazy? Won't ever fucking call us again?
So I was very happy to see that karma finally bit this guy in the ass. Yeah. Mine is just like literally a car was racing through everyone in standstill traffic on ninety four and then a cop saw them. Actually they were on what the side one and then the cops saw them and they got pulled over with him second. So that was karma right there. If you've got one, would love to hear it, Send that in to Ryan Show at KTIWB dot com. All right, on to the next email. Here
we go. There's a little seamless edit in there, so let me hit the delete button on Danielle's email and we'll move on to this one. Here we go from Marie, can you give my cousin Katie Joe a shout out on the Minnesota Goodbye for her birthday? We've both written in two or three times, two or three years now to do this for each other. Our birthdays are both in February, only ten days apart. She will have turned twenty eight by the time they read this, since her birthdays on February nineteenth.
Cheers to now being in our late twenties. Here's something to chat about. Katie and I have have a new baby, her niece, my cousin in the family, who was born Valentine's Day. We both commented on how that is going to suck. Getting Valentine's Day theme gives her entire life. Since her birthday is February fourteenth, poor girl will never escape pink and red hearts. That being said, if your birthday had to fall on a holiday,
which holiday would you choose for it to fall on? And in contrast, which would be the worst holiday to have your birthday on Oh good we love listen to you guys. Would love a staff Rider sticker if there's any left and Dave has the time, of course, Marie, I will. I'll send one to you and one to your cousin. So just go back shout out Katie Joe one day late on your birthday, Okay. I would say July fourth would be a good day to have your birthday because it's the
only big summer holiday, right and I want to sell my birthday. I wasn't saying it's summertime. Also, see I thought that at first, but then I think I'm going Halloween. My girlfriend was born really close to Halloween and she has a party every year for it, and so it's kind of like there's a built in celebration with Halloween and or the fourth of July. So I feel like that's nice to have your birthday around the time, but
it's not like a present celebration. You're not expected to bring presents, so you're not being forgotten about in the present department. So obviously the worst one would be Christmas time. I think if you celebrate Christmas, that would be the worst holiday to have your birthday around. I don't think there's the worst one that I can think of than Christmas. I was going to actually say one of the worst ones I think would be how Halloween. My birthday's a
week exactly before Halloween. I never suffered for it. But if you want to have a birthday party, you're going to have to move it away from Halloween because nobody's coming to your birthday party on Halloween. Yeah, because they've got to go trick or treating or they got a Halloween party. That's true. But if they're into Halloween, then you just host the Halloween party every year and then it's also your birthday party, like my girlfriend does. So
it works out great, you know what I mean? I guess. But that's for more of an adult, right true. As a child, You're right, it would have to be a little bit different. But they could still throw a Halloween themed birthday party if they wanted to. I mean, I guess they could. Yeah, all right, are you into Halloween? Because I feel like a lot of October people are really into that holl not really into Halloween. I try to enjoy it. I do enjoy handing out
the candy. I turn on my fog machine. Yeah, I bought the giant ukulele plane skeleton last year. No, you forgot about it. You got two years ago. I got two years ago. I forgot to put it out this past year. Okay, all right, this is I'm going to read that one on the air. It's actually kind of funny, so I'm gonna save that one for on the radio. Here we go. Last week, a gen X boomer man wrote and asked for a millennial for millennial sex advice. Jenny had some great advice, but one more tip. You
and your partner should read smutty books. I'm not talking straight up poor nothing wrong with that, of course, but I'm talking about books that have a plot hot sex scenes. I've also learned so much about but desires and my partner and I have learned so much from these books. I would share more, but even though I feel like you are my BFFs, I'm shy. I recommend Sarah Kate, Kennedy, Ryan and a Huong hu Ang, Nikki Sloan and Sierra Simona's authors to try again. They are spicy. Don't read
them if you're a prude. You guys are the best. Dart lick. Dart lick, anonymous reader I think the problem with that would be getting your partner to read a smutty book with you if they have no desire to have sex with you. Yeah, I think this smutty book would be a great aid with somebody who you're already have a great sex life with. Yeah. I've never read books that are just like smutty books. It's been more of like the ones I'm reading right now, where it's mythical and fairies and stuff,
and then there's like sex infiltrated into it. So I've never read just like straight smuddy books besides your Fifty Shades of Gray. But that was a little I don't know, I guess extreme if you're into like BDSM kind of stuff. But yeah, I think that what Dave said is, yeah, if you're both reading it at the same time, it might work. Yeah, if one's reading it and the other one and then you tell the other person to read it, it's like, does that work out? And there
hasn't been another Fifty Shades of Gray porn book out? Remember how big that was twelve years ago. Sure someone will email us in and tell us that there has been. It just probably wasn't as mainstream. But no, I agree there hasn't been really except for now everyone's into these fairy books and they all call it the fairy porn. What is tell me again with this? That was the Aqatar series that I'm reading, but there's a lot of other ones too. But it's a Court of Thorns and Roses, and it's just
got a lot of really seductive scenes. Attention. There's a lot of tension built up to like these big sex scenes, so you're just like waiting for it and stuff, and then you know, there's some weird things that happen. They are fairies. Yeah, Okay, you ever heard of giant test porn? Okay, only because I think you bought it up before. I never heard a giant test porn, but I'm very happy to bring it up
here on the podcast. I didn't know what giant test porn was, but it was like, what is There was an article four or five months ago something like what is the number one searched porn in the fifty different states, and so you got like, you know, by porn, lesbian porn, straight porn, multi racial porn, whatever, and then several of the states
had giant test porn. So I looked it up. Yeah, and from what I could tell from doing a little bit of research, it is animated, computer generated giant women making love to tiny women, like by insertions and things like that, and it was just really weird. Hey, quickly running out of time. Send your emails to ryanshow at KDIWB dot com.