Squeamish. Squeamish. If you look up squeamish, if you google squeamish, it will say did you mean Bailey? What? Because Bailey is Squeamish. I did a magic trick for Bailey off the air a little while ago where I stuck a long foot long like spike through my tongue and had video from Bailey Jay, you weren't here, Jenny, and Bailey was like, I can't look, I can't look, and so squeamish, I'm gonna do that on stage in the State Fair tomorrow.
Oh okay, So you're doing a little practice round, yep, yep.
And then I'm also gonna do one where I take a three pronged you know, like I think they call it a triplet, I'm not sure, fish hook, treble, I'm not sure. And they I'm gonna stick it in my mouth on a string and then you pull the string to see what happens when it's on the string in my mouth.
That'll be at the stake, be the volunteer for these just people in the crowd. People in the crowd, because I don't want to.
Do that, well, no, I get it, Okay, I'm squeamish. Let's get started with Juanita. Jannita is back and here we go. She says, Hey, y'all, hey wanneda here with my end of the week rant about the shit that gets on my nerves. First of all, I agree with von I hate boba tea. A friend of mine bought me one and I insisted I try it. First of all, I don't like the fact that that many balls in my mouth are at this in my mouth at the
same time. Lol. Second of all, I want to drink my drink, not drink it and eat it at the same time. Disgusting. Now onto the rants. Oh, I thought that was one. First of all, do either of you have a friend that when they tell the story, the story goes on and on for no fucking reason. My friend of twenty years, I love her dealer dearly, but I have to listen to her try and tell you about something that happened to her. It's torture. She will start the sentence with I woke up around six thirty
in the morning and I thought I wanted coffee. I decided I could drink tea, and then around seven fifteen, do you remember the blue suit I bought last week. Well, I decided to wear that to work. The story goes on and on and on. Then she finally gets to the fucking point. So this asshole turns she ought to
be a stand up comic. Seriously, I would love to hear Juananita, if you want to send in a video of you doing this, Juan Nita, I'd love to hear your vocal delivery, because she sounds like a rant from a stand up comic. Yeah, let's continue. I decided where that work. Story goes on and on until she finally gets the fucking point. This asshole turns out in front of me and hits my car. Why the hell that I have to listen to thirty minutes of bullshit before
he got to the fucking point. Damn, hold onto your seats. I got one more rant. Well, we make fun of people who tell stories on the radio, you know, because some people are better storytellers. And I think you when you tell a story, it's like, well, let's get to
the point, and sometimes we do. Jenny and I and Steve and Fallon would make some fun of somebody who would call in for a worst Date Wednesday, and it would be and we love people who call in, But people you know, they get nervous and they don't know and the details are interesting to them, but not necessarily
to other people. So if you got hit by a car and or you had a worst date Wednesday and the guy showed up with his mother and they were both drunk, okay, so the story should start like, you know, god, I went out with this guy and you wouldn't believe it. He seemed great and he was wonderful, but he showed up with his mother and they were both drunk. Now you can expand on the story, what did you do? How drunk were they? Well?
No, first you said, well, this was his name, and I thought he was really cute on Tinder. But then I was like, I don't really know him, but I decided to give him a shot, so I did, and then we, you know, we got it off on a good start.
He was a little bit weird.
And you and and sometimes when somebody's telling a long story, you're not sure whether they've reached the climax yet. So you're not sure whether like, yeah, and we got along really well on tender and you go and then you realize that's not the punchline. So they keep going and then they'll say something like and his name was Todd, and I dated a guy named Todd once before that cheated on me. And that's the end of the story, and they keep going going.
Yeah.
Now, I don't make fun of people who I mean, I will, but there's certain things I can't do. I can't dance. I don't dance. I'm not good at it. My limbs do not move in coordinated fashion. So we all have what are you really bad at? Jenny? You stay away.
From I don't know, I mean referencing movie quotes. I feel like Bailey's got that's like her forte. I can't do that at all. I'll never say it the right way. Okay, Like what is it I love you, Janie? Like I don't know, you know how it goes from So, I don't know. I'm bad at a lot of things though you put me on the spot.
It's fine, you're bad at being put on the spot, Bailey. What are you know you're not? Jenny? What are you bad at that you stay away from Bailey? Anything?
I mean?
Also plenty of stuff I think, like extemporaneously speaking if I'm not prepared, or like if somebody says, Oh, you're just gonna make a speech really quick, and I can't prepare for that speech.
I will flounder and it will be really awful.
Also dancing, I also suck at dancing, Dan really Oh yeah, I'm not great at it.
Hey, you know I saw you do the little TikTok dance last week and I thought you did great. A little flair with your arms. I think you did fine.
I got to practice that one and over again.
One need it goes on and imagine her on stage doing stand up comic. I know you guys don't control the commercials or the ads on the podcast, but what pisses me off is when either you, Dave, Jenny, or Bailey is talking in the middle of a sentence. All of a sudden, I hear Ryan Seacrest here want to talk about chump of casino? What the fuck is chumba casino? And who gives a shit? Stop cutting in in the conversation. My husband says, the older I get, the more naggy
Nelly I get. Thanks you guys for listening to my rants. Love you have a safe weekend. PS. If I'm not working, I hope to visit you with the fair on Saturday. I hope so too. One need to have your husband get the camera out and do a one minute rant yes, and then send it to me, because I would love to hear your voice ranting, thank you, Wanita.
We hope we see you at the fair. Sorry about the ads I have no control over.
Yeah, we really don't. Yeah, I get it. David Associates, Hmmm, your thoughts on Susan not having a hobby reminded me of my wife because she also doesn't have a hobby other than reading books and streaming shows. She doesn't like crowds, so she's always stressed about upcoming family events. For events like concerts, sports and state fairs, and automatic no unless I tell her I really want to go, but I don't want her to go along only because of me
the anxieties related to mental health. So I've accepted it, But there are other times when she asked me why don't we spend more time together? What I think she means is why don't I sit in the couch with her while she's reading or watching shows. I'm the type of person who can't sit for too long. I've been really into my current hobby, so I'm downstairs, busy on my own thing. How I see spending time together is outside of the house like we did in our twenties,
going to events. We're in our mid thirties. No kids. I feel your frustration. Dave, love the show and the new editions that is from Vang also known as mister dart Lick. Love that Wang, Thank you so much. Next one, Sydney regular staff writer says Dave. Jenny Bailey. I don't remember if you talked about on the show The Minnesota Goodbye, but you were discussing sneezing and the proper etiquette, which is what which.
Is sneezing into your elbow and not your hand like you do weirdo.
It's nothing weird about it at all.
Grossa.
I'm not touching you.
I'm touching all of the on the equipment.
But you are touching the same things that we might touch, like the door handle. Yeah, to get out of the studio.
Yeah, I guess. So you know what, That's why God blessed you with what he calls immunity.
Immune have immunity, We have an immune system.
You get immun God says, give Jenny beautiful hair and immunity.
That's what he said, Thanks God, thanks big guy.
I do appreciate my anter too much. Stuff, Jenny, It's not fair.
Isn't funny how God blesses people with just an amazing something of like Taylor Swift. She is a songwriter, she is beautiful, she is she is healthy. She you know, this is something I learned. Her family, her mom and dad were worth one hundred million dollars.
Oh well that is that really a God's blessing?
Or is that?
Well generational is.
But it's kind of like Taylor plays this act of like I grew up on a Christmas tree farm, which she didn't. Really, they had a tree farm in addition to their ten million dollar home wherever they live. But some people are blessed with height, athleticism, talent. I was blessed with a golden, beautiful radio voice. Listen to this voice.
Yeah, you were born with it's beautiful, it's gorgeous. This this career shows you you didn't choose that exactly.
Yeah anyway, so, uh, Sidney says, I pulled my shirt out and I sneeze into it, basically onto my chest. So I guess you pull the collar out and go chew down your shirt yeah, that way, it's all contained on my body and not missed around my elbow. But I've been told it's gross, mostly by my husband. What are your thoughts? Yeah, it's gross, but it's your own gross, so it's okay.
Yeah, maybe it could be missed and trewed as like hot, like hold on, let me sneeze into my bosom.
Chew, oh oh my bosom.
No, in no ways at all.
No, are you sure?
I'm pretty sure.
It would you could. We could twist it. We can change the narrative.
Even if a woman had like the idea to come on to you and she's like wearing a low cut whatever, and she's like very flirty and she's like ohew, and then she looks at you and you're like, the titties away from me. Don't want the titties, no, mo, not.
The glistening titties.
Okay gross. Next one, Christie says, hey, homies, you don't have to read this on the podcast, but you can if you would like. Well, I haven't pre read it, so let's go. The Lovely Bailey asked about weird things we see in people's cars. Oh boy, do I got stories? Because I look at everybody that goes by, and you
best believe I'm judging some of y'all. I've seen everything from dildo's, somebody trying their panties on the air, vnce, lifelike sex dolls, skeleton children's size, buckled in the back seat, things that seeing people do that I'd like to wash my eyeballs with bleach. Watching porn on a tablet and masturbating and bumper to bumper traffic. A lot of flaccid wieners. Most of the guys we saw that we saw I was a female. Okay, run on sentences, please use punctuation, Christy.
A lot of flaccid wieners. Most of guys that saw I was a female and were being creepy, trying to get my attention. Women using toys, women sucking on her tits. Yes you read that right. Oh my god, dog's going at it in the back seat. I could write a very graphic book about the things that I see. On another note, anyone doing the arm pump makes my day. Oh they're a truck driver.
This person.
That's what I said. Truck drivers have to see a bunch of weird stuff.
Yeah, okay, so that's why I'm like, how do you see so much? But I guess you got that elevated view and some people pass you slowly enough that you can see somebody sucking on their titties.
Right, Because I knew someone who was a truck driver and they said they had seen some weird stuff.
So I'm just like, but what is it? What's the weird one?
Now I know. On another note, if you do the arm pump, it makes my day. I don't care how old you are, it makes me smile. I have more adults do with than kids, but it's still the highlight. So never stop. Catch you later, taters. That is from Christy the truck driver. Thank you for doing that because we still get a thrill when we go pump pump and you go huhh. I love that. Onto the next email. Another podcast I mentioned I listened to and thought, okay,
let's back up, Hello morning show. Another podcast I listen to mention this and I thought it would be fun to hear yours A never again list, a list in your notes of things that you want to remember never to do again. Eg. Samples, never again buy final sale clothing items, never again, try to go healthy with the healthy version of ice cream instead of just getting the real thing. Never again, buy any furniture off Amazon to save money. Staff writer Taylor, Thank you Taylor. Anybody have
an never again for me? Skydiving. I've done it four times. I hated it. Terrifies me. I've only done it because I've been peer pressured. I will never skydive again.
Ooh, mine's Tower of Terror. Never again? I oh really. I went on it once and I was like, I'm gonna be brave.
I'm gonna go on the Tower of Terror because everybody loves it and I hate falling.
Falling is so scary.
And when I went on it, I went with my mom and I was holding onto her for dear life, and I was screaming my head off, and she thought to make me feel better, she wouldn't scream, so she was silent on this ride, which terrified me even more because I thought she had passed out or something. I nope, never again. I hated it.
I hated it. It was awful.
You know, I love Tower of Terror. If you don't know what it is is, basically, it's a takeoff on the Twilight Zone. It's very Twilight Zone nineteen fifties ish, and you go into a nineteen thirties era hotel and you walk through the lobby. Then you get in an elevator, and the elevator you're all strapped in, you're not standing there, and it goes way way up and it drops and up again, and it drops and up again and it drops and it's terrifying and you scream and it's great. I love it.
I was.
I was so scared, so scared.
What is on your never again?
Mine would be a marathon. I have such bad knees and I just won't continue to do that again. And I honestly didn't enjoy my marathon at all. I think everyone who's like, you're going to have adrenaline the day of no, that's bullshit. You need to train, and if you don't train, you're not going to be prepared in my opinion, but people will argue with me on that one. If you are prepared without training, you just are naturally super athletic.
Oh yeah too, I yeah, I could talk about that too. I talked to Chris Hockey one time and I said, hey, you did the marathon last year. Did you train? He's like, really not at all? I said, how'd you finish? She said, like five and a half hours, which is very slow. Yeah, And I said, good because I haven't trained. I'm going tomorrow. He said, yeah, go do it, Go do it. And I did it about five hours forty five minutes. So yeah, but if you train, I mean, it's going to be easy.
I'll never do another marathon either. I don't have it in my knees anymore. It's just too hard on your body.
And I, after doing one, don't have the good knees for it anymore. And I also talked to Chris Hockey and he said he if he could go back, he would never have done any of the marathons because he had to have both knees replaced from the running. That he's smarting.
Really wow wow.
Okay, so now I don't feel bad that I can't run.
Yeah, some people just do not have the knees for it.
WHOA No. And it is very hard on your knees because you're thumping down. If you weigh one hundred and thirty pounds every time you land, it's probably you're putting two hundred and sixty pounds of weight on your knees. Boom ba boom ba, boom ba boom boom. Next one, Dave Jenny Bailey, longtime listener of twenty five years. I love to start each of my days with your voices. Dave. I have a story for you about losing your child somewhere.
A few years ago we went to Disney World. We stayed at a Disney resort with a Austin water park. My son, who was five, love going on the water slides, and after our one hundredth time going down it, now remember he's five, I said, go on it by yourself. I'll be waiting at the bottom for you. So I sat there in a lounge chair directly at the bottom waiting for him. I saw him come down. He's like, I want to go again. Okay, go back up. But as the minutes passed, I didn't see him. I'd looked
down on my phone for less than a minute. I thought maybe I missed him somehow. As a few more minutes passed, I really started to panic. But that's when I heard Dave's voice in my head saying, you're going to lose your kid one day, and do not panic. You will find them. And I swear by that you will lose your kid if you've got a newborn baby one day you will lose them at the mall, or at the state fair or at the airport. You will panic,
you will think the worst. You will find them. I'm glad that this came to your head when you did that. I kept relaxing, or he kept replaying that in my head as I started walking around the park yelling his name. That's when I walked up to the water's slide line, only to find him at the top, directing kids where to go. He told me there wasn't a lifeguard there, so he thought he should be one and tell the kids that when they can go down the slide.
Oh.
I appreciate his kind heart, but wow, that almost gave me a heart attack. I would love a staff writer sticker, if you could mail me one.
I would love to go at the top of a water slide and have a five year old be.
Like, all right, now you're gonna go into this line.
All right?
You good to go go.
Ahead, and they take their the boss. I love that. Thanks for sharing that story. Random ones, Let's see what we got here. Some of them, I've kind of lost track a little bit. Let's try this one, Dave and the other people there. Okay, thank you for the courtesy kind. I vent a little bit is very petty. I mean very petty. At my office. When I started, I used to park away from the employee entrance door because I
was new. I didn't deserve to park up close. Well, over the years, I become more of a senior position, so I felt I could park up close, and I did well. We got a slew of new employees a year ago, and all of a sudden, they're getting to work a few minutes before me, parking right up close, forcing me to park away from the employee door. So I decided to park far away and there's some trees and enjoy my short walk into the office. That was in the winter. Well, all of a sudden, the summer
heat came. We are in California one hundred and ten degrees, so he lives in I think Turlock, California. All the new employees started getting there a few minutes early and parking under my tree far away, and there are no assigned parking spots. So I can't say anything, but it bugs the hell out of me. Lol. Can you relate? No, but I appreciate I don't. I mean, we park in the parking garage and we get here early enough, we get a pretty prime parking spot.
Yeah.
If there's like I don't know, we probably when we get here, we probably get the tenth best parking spot, you know what I mean. We don't get here early enough to get the best because there are people here apparently in the middle of the night. But I get about the tenth best parking spot. Yeah, but Joe, absolutely people are selfish. And even though you were courteous when you were new and didn't park up close, there'll be people who are like, I'm gonna go ahead and park up close.
So I mean, I wouldn't even think of it if I was driving into a parking lot, I wouldn't even be like, oh, that's someone else's parking spot. I would just be like, sweet, a parking spot on a part tree and it's.
Hot out next one. Dave Jenny Bailevance. I've written in before. Maybe once. I figured I'd send an email and tell you guys the story of my mom being scammed after my grandmother died. My mom inherited money, but my stepdad lost his job. Let me know if I read this one, I know I read it to myself.
I don't think so.
Finances became tight. My sister moved in with my mom, and then my mom began asking her for money for groceries despite the inheritance. So Mom's looking for money from the sister. My sister discovered my mom had been duped by a scammer pretending to be Joe Perry from Aerosmith.
Oh No.
She had sent him over eighteen thousand dollars in gift cards to this scammer, who convinced her that he would one day rescue her. The situation worsened when my mom sent goodbye text to us and blocked our numbers.
Oh my gosh.
Fortunately, during the local power outage, my sister managed to contact the scammer pretending to be my mom. With her help, I texted my mom in the scammer style for two days, keeping her engaged to prevent further losses. At the end of this I revealed the truth, explaining that I was the scammer and not I was a scammer and not
Joe Perry. Although she was upset, this intervention helped her stop communicating with a scammer who still tries to reach out to her Today, she remains unaware that I was the one who posed as the scammer, so mom thinks that fake Joe Perry finally admitted that he was a scammer. I figured'd be a good top of a conversation for the podcast. Maybe somebody else has experienced this themselves or with a loved one. Many elderly people are being scammed
via puppy scams or romance scams like this. That's all I got. Love you guys would love a staff writer sticker and let me take a picture of that. And I told you about my friend Nate, right.
Yeah, we've talked about him quite a bit, quite.
A few times. And his mom is lonely, elderly, and thought that she was dating some movie.
Stars I don't remember his name, some movie star.
Who's still currently and they really thought they convinced her that they were gonna get married. Yeah, and they were gonna go to the Academy Awards together. And my friend Nate was like, no, Chase got scammed by a puppy deal because he was going to buy a German Shepherd puppy from somebody in Atlanta. Yeah, and I don't remember all the details, but it turns out there was no puppy and it came from It was basically like, yeah, we got a puppy, We're gonna send it to you.
Here's a picture of the puppy. We're we're gonna come to Arizona with the puppy. We're gonna meet you at the airport and we'll give you the puppy you give us the money. Then it turned into meet me half. Then it turned into no, you fly to us. Oh, so the scammer would not have to spend any money, right and then Chase I don't think lost any money, but there was definitely no.
Position time and like energy for sure.
Yeah. So if you have any scams, the only one I can tell you is that when my dad died and my father in law died, they were both subscribing to a lot of shit they didn't need, like a bunch of like my dad was subscribing to magazines that he would not have subscribed to that somehow he did.
And my father in law was subscribing to some sort of toy service where you get toys for your grandkids every month, and they were junk, garbage toys for little kids, but he would send his you know, twenty dollars a month for the toy subscription whatever, So yeah, anything else to add to the podcast, anybody.
The only thing I would say is that on Facebook, worket Place, sometimes people will be like, Oh, I want to make sure you're a real person. I'm gonna can you send me your number. I'm going to send you a code, and oh, yeah, don't click the code. Yeah, well, don't click it. But also don't give them the code because they just signed up something that involves your number and they need that code to continue with the verification
of whatever they sign up for. Yes, So I never did that, but I like there were a couple times where I was like, yeah, that makes sense, they want to make sure I'm a real person. But I haven't had that happen in a while, so maybe Marketplace has done like their due diligence. But that was when I first started on Marketplace.
So I've gotten that from like Facebook friends that like I went to church with in high school and they're like, hey, I need your help because I can't I just got locked out of my account or whatever, and I was like, oh, yeah, for sure, I can help you, and then definitely got hacked somehow, So I ended up like calling Microsoft support.
To be like I think my email has been hacked and I don't know. I clicked a thing and I shouldn't have.
And even that, I feel like I got rerouted to a scammer who was like, you need to send me this money, like five hundred dollars.
And it was like eleventh and I was like sixteen years old, and I woke up my dad. I was like, I'm so confused.
He's like, go to bed, You're fine, just don't give them any money, Like, what are you doing?
We're so cautious with that. And some of them are so convincing, and we all know that some of are, Like I think Susan's almost clicked on a couple of things she would be. I'm naturally cynical, so I look at things, even if it is from Wells Fargo. I'm like, if they really need to get a hold of me, they'll call me, or they'll come to my house, or they'll send a letter or something. Yeah, this looks suspicious. I am not going to click on this link to verify. No. No,
And that is it for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send your thoughts of things you'll never do again, Send your thoughts of your rant. One need to send a video of your rant, Send your scam stories, anything you want to talk about to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.