Rag On a Stick

Well, here we go with the Minnesota Goodbye. Hopefully it'll go better than yesterday's Minnesota Goodbye, which you probably heard. We did about twenty minutes or so, and then we looked at it was not recording. Yeah, so that we did ten minutes. So let's see what happens this time. It is a Friday. I want to mention I want to plug this because I

would love to let you have you come with your kid. I'm doing Toddler Tuesday Mall of America Tuesday at four o'clock in the rotunda, reading my book to kids and doing a little magic and selling the book and signing it and getting pictures and that type of thing. Toddler Tuesday. Don't look at me, Jenny, I know you're not going to show up. I don't expect you to. Well, that one feels like a weird event for me to show up. That feels like one where kids, parents bring their kids.

I don't have a child. I might act like a toddler sometimes I don't have one myself. Anyway, I'd love to have you come out there. So just another plug to get your kid this delightful book, Little Dave's Amazing Day. Let's start in with the Minnesota goodbye emails and here we go. Hey, it says, the piggyback of your worst song ever is a song? Is there a song that encompasses you or your journey or personality? Mine is flowed on by modest mouse. You guys are amazing and thanks for all

you contribute to my mental health. The podcast of Jenny and the Old Susi Wager has lived in my head rent free ever since it's airing. There are so many quality that's what she said jokes signing off a right or maintain your booty hole? Didn't we we? We? We we named a podcast one time, maintain your booty hole. I have no idea. I'm sure we have, but there have been so many ridiculous names of polo. Like yesterday I named the podcast mullets, and it's like we only we did talk about

mullets for a little bit. But like, I don't ever remember for sure what that podcast was about. If I went back to it, we could call this one either float on or maintain your booty Hole too. Part two. I forget what we were talking it was about. It was like wipe carefully something like that. I don't remember for sure, Oh, I know what it was. Yes, I know what it was. I was saying that if you have a little kid that's eight years old and they got brown

streaks in their underpants, they're eight years old, who cares. But if you've got a thirty four year old husband that still has brown streaks in his underpants, he needs to grow the fuck up and learn to maintain his booty hole. You need to take care of that thing. And I'm not going to get into specifics because I have a podcast about it. No, I'm

kidding, but seriously to that go this one. But it's like, Okay, if you are eighteen years old and you still have brown streaks in your underwear, men or women, you got to grow up maintain your booty hole. And I think I was telling the story about how one time I was with a girl and like, you know, the next morning or whatever, got out of bed and there was her underpants on the floor and they were white, kind of like regular underwear. They weren't like your sex underwear,

because you know, you have your sex underwear. And I remember there's a big brown streak, and I was like, God, yeah, gros, but did she have like big like juicy about cheeks because then I feel kind of bad, like what if she can't get in there she needs? Okay, you can't get in there because I have a large behind. And I'm not going to go into details, but I please do. Let's hear the details. I feel her pain, like I'm sorry. We also have a

bi day at home. Shout out Cookie, because Cookie, who listens to the show, gave me that a day and it's amazing. But like I'm be honest, I have to do different things to clean the area because of how large my backside is. Yeah, so maybe I feel bad for that girl. Okay, I mean I guess that is I've never thought. I've never thought about that before. I did. Used to work with a woman named Corey Foley who used to work with a really large guy on the radio,

and she asked him, like, how do you wash? He said, With a rag on a stick? He literally, I guess, would have a rag on a stick to reach everything from like you know, his groin area to his booty hole or whatever with a rag on his stick. And so rag on his stick was kind of a running joke on our show, Rag on a stick. Maybe you call the episode rag on a stick. I don't know anyway, Let's go back to her original question. Original

question, is there a song that encompasses you your journey or personality? I would say I really love It's an old song. It's by a band named Boston from the seventies. It's called Don't Look Back, and the lyrics are just kind of like I just like him. It's like, don't look back, basically, look ahead. It says, don't look back. A new day is breaking. It's been too long since I felt this way. I don't mind where I get taken. The road is calling. Today is the

day. So it's about a band basically, but it's more to me. It's like, don't look back at all this shit that's in your past. It's a new day. And I really like that song. It's like, oh, it gets me a little chill just thinking about it because it tells you move on, move ahead, don't look back. Is there a song

that encompasses your life? I'm not sure about like my whole life, but there's a song that I've listened to essentially, like any time that I've had either an interview or if I've felt down, like about myself and my abilities because in general, I'm always kind of in my head like, oh, you are kind of dumb. You don't know anything. But it's not that I don't know anything, it's just that I haven't learned it yet. And so I listen to this song called I'm a Star and it's sung by a

Broadway lady. Her name's Natalie Weiss, and it's just her talking about like how she deserves what comes to her and that she's she has passion, she has guts, she deserves it and it shows and that everybody should kind of, you know, notice that she's a star. And I just listened to that literally, like the loudest possible before any kind of interview. I listened to it like every single day before I met with Rich for my interview here. Really wow, I was just like, I'm a star, I'm a

star. I'm a star, because that's great. I believe it eventually. I guess if you tell yourself something enough times, and if you tell yourself that, you know that it goes the other way too. If you tell yourself negative things enough times, you start to believe it. Jenny, what song encompasses your life? I think Unstoppable by Sea is a good one because there's lyrics in it. I just pulled it up. It's like I put my armor on, show you how strong I am. I put my armor

on. I'll show you that I am. And it's like I I put out a front a lot of times when I'm dealing with things because I don't always want people to know I'm dealing with things. But I will keep going no matter what. So you might not see me going through some shit, but I might be, but I'm going to get through it because I am unstoppable. And stop say I love that. I love that, you know, I never thought about that one. A song that kind of like gets

you pumped up or kind of encompasses your life. So good question. Yeah, if you've got one, let me know. Send me your email with a song that encompasses your life. And why thank you, Rhiann? I think is how you say your name for an excellent staff writer email. Here's our old friend Demante Matthews. He says, why don't why doesn't vont want people to know his name is Davante as a Demante, I take offense to that. L I'm super happy you all got him and Bailey on the show.

You all go together well, and I'm excited about this combo. I want to give some advice for people who are listening to the podcast and want to skip commercials. Let's hear it without pulling out your phone. I've tried to tell listeners about this, but Dave keeps skipping over it in my emails for some reason. Sorry, let's try again. I guess if you double click your earbud, it will skip about thirty seconds ahead, and if you triple click, it rewinds fifteen seconds. I'm not sure it works for any

earbuds, but I got Apple Beats. And also, since Vonte or vont is a much better employee than Drake could also it's okay I read it again. Also, since Vonte vont is a much better employee than Drake could ever be Sorry, but I could tell Drake was a slacker. Can you get him to try and put the hour by hour podcast in backwards order so they play in the correct order without having to go on the app and close and choose the next hour. That makes sense? Peace and blas things to all

dart Lick, right, But we do that? Do we do that? I don't know how it works. I thought that you I thought that that's how it was. I'm locking. Yeah, that's how it should go. So you should be able to hit the six o'clock hour and then it moves backwards to the seven o'clock is how it should go. Maybe different podcasting platforms

are different. I think I know what it is on iHeart though, So if you go into your if you go into the Dave Ryan Show podcast and then sort it when you're up at like all episodes, sort it by newest instead of by oldest. I think that'll unless you already have that done. And I'm just kind of being like, you know what you should do, but mine plays in order. I mean, you just got to sort it by newest. You go back and listen to the podcast, do you really?

Yeah? Okay, that's interesting. I don't. Oh well, and that's fine. I'm curious why you do, because I'm proud of myself. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I mean there there used to be something when I was new, and it was called an air check, and it's still called an air check, but it's basically records just the talking part of

the radio show. Doesn't record the songs, doesn't record the music, but whenever the microphone on you would have back in the day, you'd put a cassette in the air check machine and then you would go back and listen to your show to see how you did. Yeah. I've got a basement full of thousands of air check cassettes going back to when I was seventeen or eighteen

years old, and I never listened to them. And I don't listen to the show today because I probably should, but I'm glad that you do, because you want to hear how Oh that was dumb on me to say, oh, that was really that really worked that type of thing, right, I think, Oh, I really sucked at that part, And then I listened to it back and I'm like, oh, it doesn't sound bad though, so in my head I sucked. Can I tell you you reminded me of something I saw an article that oh I got to pull it up and

maybe we can expand on this. But the article was something that was so telling about like our mental health and a way to feel healthier about socializing and that type of thing. They did studies and I won't repeat back the results because I don't know him off the top of my head, but the studies basically show we do way better in a conversation than we think we did.

And I thought that was really fascinating, because when we meet somebody at an office party or a wedding or whatever, we walk away going, oh, that person probably thought I was stupid. Yeah, But the other person, when they asked, they say, oh, yeah, they were funny, they were engaging, they were great. But don't we all have a tendency.

I know I do that. When you walk away from a conversation with your boss or your boss's wife, or a coworker at a work party or a wedding or whatever, you'll tend to say, ah, I was so boring and stupid, And I bet they thought I was stupid when actually they did a big study instead the other person they kind of feel that way too, but they thought you were really engaging. Isn't that interesting? It is?

I just experienced it last night. We had a retirement party for a coworker and I feel like I was talking to this one sales girl and I like brought up eyebrows at one point, and I feel like I had the conversation going for too long and I was like, oh my god, do you have nothing of better substance to talk about right now, Jenny, Like, what the hell? But she was fully engaged in the conversation. It's

not like she wasn't. But at the same time, I was in my head, like, think of something more interesting to talk about, Like, I mean, I was there and I witnessed this conversation and she seemed like she wanted to talk to you about it. I like it, right so then, but that's how exactly what Dave just described. I was in my head about it, but you've witnessed that she seemed into it. Weally wants to talk about it. We need to talk about that in the radio.

Can you make a note for next week? Because I've read that yesterday and I saved the article because it was so interesting, because I think that is something we all have in common, probably even extroverts. And you're more of an extrovert than me. I'm kind of a quiet I can turn on the extrovert part because I do enjoy it. Yeah, I'm just not I can't do it for a long time, right, you know what I mean?

In a room full of If I'm in a room full of strangers, which was last night at this retirement party, gosh, I fo no, you did great. I saw so many familiar faces, and I looked over and Bailey was on her phone standing alone, and I said, I'm going to go rescue Bailey. So I went and grabbed Bailey and introduced you to the boss and the boss's wife. And I did like the boss's wife. She's

very charming. Yeah, and you know what, You're very charming. But I think it's around It's like all of us, are you too, listening to the show, You're also charming when you're around the people that you love and you're comfortable with. You're probably not shy around your best friends. No, you're fun around your best friends, all right, So yeah, make a note next week, we'll talk about that. It is really interesting. Next one. Rachel says, good morning, Dave, Ryan's show crew.

I'm super excited about the changes of the show with the addition to vont and Bailey, and so grateful for all the hard work that you put into making a show that quite literally makes my mourning every day. Soak that in for a minute. It quite literally makes her mourning every day. I love that so much that anybody feels that way about the show. I am no longer in Minnesota, but I still listen every day, and I have for the

last fifteen plus years. With the changes on the show, I'm curious if you be able to share each other's show, each show member's job titles and responsibilities on the show. I'm nosy and I like to know the behind the scenes details, and I'm sure there are other listeners who feel the same. I'm already a proud owner of a staff writer sticker, so no need for

another one. Ah right. That's from Rachel and we do the alright sign off because it's a spin on the old Country Buffet training video where he's like, would you like the roast beef for lasagna? I'll have lasagnah right, And so that's where all right comes from. Jenny, you're the producer of the show. Describe each person on the show's title and duty. Well, I mean, Dave is clearly the host. I think I'm technically still executive

producer and co host. I don't truly know what Bailey's title is. She's co host, helps with production like kind of a system producer at the same time, like she's gonna she helped well, I mean she's just learning. So yeah, we don't even know. We don't even know for sure exactly her responsibilities. But so we don't really have set responsibilities for Bailey yet,

except for like a few things that you've been doing. Vont is our social media guru, slash co host, slash a system producer, slash phone screener,

slash vant does fucking everything. I don't know. You know, it's funny because somebody mentioned a little while ago, Demante mentioned that he could tell that Vont is very ambitious and absolutely and I worry about Vont sometimes because I don't want him to get burnt out, and he does not do the night show anymore, so he's got plenty of time to have the afternoon to himself.

But truthfully, I don't know what Vont does in the afternoon. I don't know that he's made friends here yet, and I do worry about him a little bit. That if you and I've been this way too. When I moved to Las Vegas for my first morning show, I was Vont's age and I didn't really have any friends. But I got a girlfriend and that made the biggest difference in the world, because now I had somebody to hang

out within the afternoon. Vont's girlfriends in New Jersey. Yeah, so I worry about Vont a little bit because he really has nothing right now but the show. Yeah, so I think that we should all take him golfing. What do you think golfing? Yeah, well it's just a night bowlding, know if Yeah, I was gonna say maybe more like bullying, because gold is not I don't think vonts into sports, and golfing is definitely not a sport you just go play one day, okay, oh, bowling, mini

golf. I'm trying to get him into into improv I'm slowly. I've gotten him. I've met he's met people because of me. So really, yeah, okay, cool, I've got his back. I've invited Vont to things that I know he doesn't want to go to, like watching sports events, and then he doesn't want to come because it's not his thing. Yeah, I get that, you know. I I think that, you know. My responsibility on the show is, I mean, probably what you expect. I get to make all the big decisions about, you know, who to

hire. I don't get to decide who to fire. I really don't. People are like you fired Drake. No, I did not fire Drake. You fired Steve No I fought for Steve. He was on the chopping block probably six times, and I fought for him every time. I said, anybody but Steve, anybody but Steve, anybody but Steve. And they finally did it without asking me. Yeah, because the budget cuts and they and they had to so but you know, it was like, do you like Vont, Yeah, let's get him on the show. So we worked really

hard and Jenny helped too to help get Vont on the show. And Bailey also, it's like, you know, we need somebody who's wacky, quirky, something, you know, to like add a different element to the show. Let's get Bailey on the show. So now I think we have a well rounded show. But I also, you know, I'm the one who you know, we all contribute ideas, but I guess I have the responsibility

of being the final yes. No. So if Jenny's like, let's do fart in a can and win, and I'd be like, ah, Jenny, do you think that's the best idea, She's like, it sounds really funny, and so she brought in a Folgers coffee can and she farted into it and it sounded it was really funny. But I said, it's not really our brand. Well, you know what, I think we should change

our brand then, because I feel like it could be No. Yeah, Dave definitely, like Dave helps molled a lot of ideas too, like we can all have kind of like starter ideas, and Dave makes it to be like what it is on the radio a lot of times, so there might be some farting and can ideas. One Day's on vacation, Yes, pans girls day part in the can you know that's right? Valin? Who was it that came up with toot and Tuesday? And she was joking, it's

like, okay, we're gonna do toot and Tuesday. And there was an intern on the show and his name is Dylan and he's got got got an idea for a bit what's your idea for a bit paper tube Tuesday? So you bring in a paper towel tube and you talk into the paper tube on HiT's and I said that's funny once. But what was funnier was how passionate he was about this stupid bit paper tube Tuesday. And that was funnier than because we would make fun of him because it was so stupid. But he's

like I'm passionate. This is it, this is my this is my thing that I'm contributing. We know, it's funny. His name is Dylan. Did you ever know Dylan? I did, but he intern at the same time as me, but we were on opposite days. So the only time I ever met him was I think we all went to like all the interns went to a jingle ball together. We weren't working, we were just actually got to go and like watch it. And he was so funny and like

out there. Dylan was great, He really was. And he was like kind of like he reminded me of intern John because he's kind of a smart ass, very funny and always willing to do whatever. And he is now a pretty big deal program director in Portland Portland now wow, So yeah, he's kind of a big deal in the company. And he's he's very likable. He's just a very likable non it's not about Dylan, it's about you, and Dylan makes it about you, and I thought that's very cool.

Intern's coming out of kW B really themselves well you know they have. And who's what Mackenzie was, She she was an Internalso was an intern. Kensey's a big star in Chicago now was in Sam san Severe, an intern never on my show. For some reason, I thought she was okay. Then maybe a different show, we did have an intern DJ, Sammy Sam and she is now like a big producer over on Fox nine. And so intern John came out of this show. He's huge, he's on. He's like

an award winning big DJ in d C and Baltimore. Angie Taylor came out of this show fallon Lina No. Angie Taylor was a beer tub girl at Waterworks Beach Club in Centerville, and then she started hanging out on the at the radio station and she filled in on the morning show. And she was a natural, just a natural, like a smart ass, funny, brash bold and she was a natural. And so she went on to work in Philadelphia, I think. And then now she's got her own big show in

Chicago. Yep, she's crushing it. She is. Okay, I think we have time for maybe one more or do we have time for money? Okay, good, Okay, here we go. Mike one of our staff writers, he says, Heidi Ho Dave Ryan show Peep says, always so appreciate what you do for all of us in radio and iheartland out here. Thanks for making the start of each workday so much easier and fun. Well, thank you comments on today's War of the Roses. First of all,

a six and eight year old almost setting the dog on fire? How do children that age get that idea, let alone? What would they need to set the dog on fire? I didn't think about that, but that's a good question. Vanessa first sounded like she was complaining. In reality, she was communicating her situation. Lewis needed to listen this all you have to go back to War of the Roses to to understand this. But I will get

to a point that he does make. He says any man who says he baby sits his own children, Dave, we need to take them out behind the woodshed for some corrective therapy. It's called being a father. Said this all too often. Guys do better. It's time to stop being boys and twenty thirty forty year old adolescens and be a man. Couples, you need to give time to your relationship. Letting that become overridden by work, hobbies, other family, even kids, will only lead to situations like Vanessa and

Lewis or mine. In a nutshell married over thirty years now just roommates and share expenses. Don't let that happen, Mike. I hope you don't mind that I read that on the radio, But you didn't say not to do what you need to do to keep your relationship alive and thriving. Do you really love each other? Show it and best to everyone, especially Dave, my guy, Jenny, my muse, bought my new dude, Drake was my dude, and now Bailey my dork right and the disc a firm staff

riender, Mike. Anything to add to the end of the Minnesota Goodbye uh party on It's the weekend? Okay, I like it. Thanks so much for listening. I'm going to check the wave for him right now. Oh my gosh, it worked. It looks it looks like it worked. Glad you checked it at the end. I see red wave. It looks good. What were you saying, Bailey? Huh you said? I said, I'm glad that you checked it right at the end and not somewhere in the

middle. I'm sorry. I was a man being. I was talking over you because that's what men do. But what I'd like you to do now is come up with a great idea that I will take credit for. So you can come up with a great idea right now, I will take credit for it. Chocolate Lucky Charms, Jenny, I had this great fucking idea. Chocolate Lucky Charms. Are going to write to the General Mills people said, I got this idea of chocolate Lucky Charms, and I want a picture

of me on the box. You on the box. Okay, and son of the little Leprechaun guy. Fuck that guy. Yeah. Wait, wait a second, stop it. I'm a star. Okay. That's it for the goodbye. Thank you for listening. Send you emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.