Here we go with a Minnesota goodbye. Let's start off with a rant from our friend Juanita. You guys, ready, yeah, right, let me find her and I get to puh a couple of buttons. I should push these buttons in advance, because every week when I play her rent, I always say, let me go push some buttons. But I think we're ready, And here we go with Juanita chicken. Wait, hold on, wait, got to back it up, back it up. Here we go.
Hey, hey, y'all, So this week's rent is about chickens. So since when has chickens become the Beyonce Barnyard. I mean, back in the day, I did not pay the same price for a pack of chicken wings that I did for a fucking chicken breast.
I mean, this is getting ridiculous.
It's like suddenly a six piece nugget is worth more than a bitcoin. But the other issue that I'm having with chickens is where the hell are we getting all these fucking chickens from. So I looked it up and they said that during the Super Bowl last year, America's consumed over one point four to seven billion chicken wings. I mean, seriously, and that's just for one day. Where
the fuck are we getting all these chickens? For that amount of chickens that means that you usually will be able to open your door and there's just chickens walking up and down the street.
What's up?
What's up with two? It's like, damn, where the hell are we getting all these fucking chickens? Well, that's my rant for this week.
I love you guys, by I have wondered the same thing, because there are think about it. There is chick fil A. They're selling canes, KFC chicken, Caesar salad, Buffalo Wild Wings, chicken is everywhere you go into cub, you go into Buyerley's Rotisserie, chickens are stacked up by the registers. Yeah, there are is. And it's like, these chickens are coming from somewhere, and I think, where do they? I mean, obviously they're being raised somewhere, probably some little town like
I don't know, Wilma or man Cato or something like that. Yeah, and then you think about the byproduct of a dead chicken, feathers, feathers, guts, legs, beaks, and heads. Where does all this go? It's the same with cows.
Well, feathers. Can't you use those for pillows?
No, that's gooseh chicken feathers. Let me tell you, grown up on chicken farm, they are not soft feathers. I guess in a real pinch they would work. But yeah, I think that people don't realize that the food supply chain is massively demanding and chicken's gotta eat and drink water too.
Yeah.
Well, I mean I can understand the reason there's so many chickens because that's like a universal.
Meat that everybody likes.
Everybody loves it.
Yeah, everyone likes chicken. Huh, I love chicken.
Well, there's so many though, So I thought Juanita. I think Juanita and I, in another lifetime we would be happily married until one day she got tired of me and woke up and killed me with a skillet. It was a skillet, I.
Mean, just like one whack across the head. You think she Wania seems like a strong woman. She could do one song whack by Dave.
The brand of the skillet is engraved on your face.
Yeah, all right, I love this email. I preread it. It's so interesting and I just love it. Don't say my name close friends know this story, and I truly hold no shame, But you never know how listeners might feel about this one. It's an embarrassing coming of age story. At what point does this story become funny not traumatic? It is said that tragedy becomes comedy with the application of time. I experienced that firsthand. I'm going through puberty,
so you got to figure twelve or thirteen. I'm full of the brooding frustration that came with the rejection of boys. I was a plain girl and I discovered Google Images. Not only did I discover Google Images, I discovered what porn was at the age of twelve. Only I thought it was spelled po rm, like mechanic porm. So with this horrible new information, I ran home from school and
quickly googled porm. Google said, did you mean porn? Well, well, sure, sure, I suppose I did mean that carefully on my own account that the family shared the computer, I with a safe search that I didn't know how was applied. I saw all sorts of adults in various levels of undress, kissing, embracing in other ways I had no business of viewing. I googled everything boys kissing, girls kissing, any juvenile thing
I could think of. Carefully and with a judgmental eye of a shrewd expert, I slowly put together a wonderful collage on Microsoft words of the images I thought were most compelling. I then admired my artful collage and printed it off on the home computer using family toner. I quickly hit it away in my room and told no one of my lacivious creation. Then my mother found my art while I was away at summer camp. Subsequently, I dealt with the horrible humiliation of my mother finding my collage.
It wrecked me at the time, but now, looking back, I think the entire story is hilariously funny. I realized that every one of us has our own story of discovery, and the early teen years are truly a whirlwind experience for all of us. Anyway, hopefully it makes you laugh and look back with some forgiveness on our past selves, take care and lots of love. And she signs her initial J. I think that's adorable. I think that the first time that we discover porn is kind of shocking.
Playboy was like the go to when I was a kid and my friend's dad had old Playboy magazines and we would look them up and it was like wow. I mean we were like fourth or fifth grade and we didn't get aroused. I don't think more just like cure, there's a naked woman, there's your boobies.
Whoa.
Yeah, So anybody have a similar story to share. If not, that's okay.
I mean, I think it's hilarious that she made a collage because I used to do that all the time with like you know, the Harry Potter actors and whatever. But I don't think I ever like discovered porn.
I read the book Catcher.
In the Rock and it explained like in detail masturbation.
That was the first time I ever heard of that.
Oh really, I read that in seventh grade. I don't remember that part.
Yeah.
I think it was Catcher and the Rye.
It was some kind of like you know Indie Emo book that like everybody said you should read, and I think I was in ninth grade and I read it and I was like, tho foo, it was wild.
Okay, interesting, But that was kind of it for me.
I think that is a very funny story, and it is. It's like at the time, you can imagine if you're twelve or thirteen and your mom finds your porn collage, your collage there on pain Yeah, and then you're mortified. But looking back, it's totally normal and totally adorable and funny. Maybe not adorable, but totally understandable. Next one says, listen to the Thursday's Minnesota Goodbye podcast. You mentioned on a scale of one to ten how happy you are, and it got me thinking. I sit at a five most
of the time, neither super happy nor super sad. So my question is, how do you make yourself feel happier. I was talking with partner this week about how I feel stuck in a rut. I work from home most days. The office is close by, but I choose to stay home, so it feels like I'm really just moving around my house to different rooms, or I'm in the car driving my kid all around the Metro for their sports practices. I consider myself an introvert, but I'm feeling more and
more cooped up these days. I have a handful of hobbies. I enjoy them, but a lot of them are hobbies that don't involve others, like reading, crafting, walking, etc. I have one close friend outside of my partner and a few others that go through ebbs and flows of friendship. What do you suggest to make my life feel not so monotonous. That's a good story. I'm going to send that to you, Jenny, because I think that's a good story for the radio too. Jenny, there we go, So
we'll maybe use that next week. What do you think what would you give her?
Oh Man, I feel like if you're looking to meet people, I always tell others to take a class, take a workshop, like something that you're interested in learning. How to do that is something.
Like creative that you have to like enroll.
In something and start showing up every week to go and do it, like improv classes or dance classes or whatever you want to go do. Because I met pretty much everybody I know through some kind of class or.
Community event like a play or something.
Okay, now she does say, now it's interesting that you went to meeting people. She doesn't say she wants to meet people, although that could add to her happiness. That adds to your happiness. She wants to be happy, but she's not sure what will make her happy.
So star, well, if it's not, If you don't want a monotonous life, I think that's the learning something. The learning aspect is what makes my life not monotonous if I'm constantly learning, So going to classes, yeah I get to meet people, but I'm also learning something at the same time, and I think that makes it makes my life not monotonous.
I think also Facebook groups are huge right now to like either make friends like Bailey a suggesting or maybe just learn things yourself. And I think that that's less intimidating than what Bailey probably did to go out and do new things and meet people, because you don't have to go do anything I'm a part of like a camper van Facebook group, a hiking Facebook group, like all these things that are like interests of mine, and I usually just go to them to learn things or see
what people are posting. But I don't really do a whole ton, but it helps me with things that are hobbies to me. So I think Facebook groups can be helpful.
I would say try something new and maybe that it does involve a group like I don't know, yoga or something new, because reading, crafting, walking, that's great. You sound like a very I don't know, like they're very sedate hobbies. Yeah, maybe you need something that's a little more active. You do walk. Yeah, So I would say, maybe try something new, Maybe try learning an instrument. Maybe go down and buy a guitar and learn to play guitar. They're not that
hard to learn the basics on a guitar. I did the ukulele and I love it.
So or joined like a book club if you like reading, that's a good idea too. Then you're having conversation about the book and you're going to a thing. I know, like the going places isn't for everybody, and like you know, facebook groups you could join like an.
Online book club. But I always I like going places.
Because it holds me accountable to actually do the thing, versus holding myself accountable to do the things like on my own, Like okay, I have to rely on myself to do this versus oh well I have it. Six o'clock on Wednesdays is book club, so I have to show.
Up, you know.
Yeah.
I would argue though that like if it's intimidating and you go to the thing a couple times and you don't like it, don't force yourself. Because there's like something that I've done recently where I've kind of just started to bail on it because.
It was yeah.
I mean it's the softball league I joined.
Okay, it wasn't your thing.
Truthfully, I'm still going to show up to the games that are coming up, but I've bailed on one week and it's been rained out every other week, and then this past week I was at that retreat so I couldn't go. So I've literally only been to the first games of five weeks of games.
Speaking of rained out, are we doing a lake patrol this summer? Have we heard anything about lake patrol?
Have not turned any?
Okay, because we live in Minnesota. About fifteen years ago, I came up with the idea, yes, I'll take credit for it, of lake patrol. We live in the land of ten thousand lakes. Let's go out on a boat and give away prizes. Okay, brilliant. We did it every year, we maybe missed one for years, ten or fifteen years, and we'd go out on Lake Minatanka or Prior Lake or whatever, and we had a great time. But we had heard anything about doing it this summer, so I
hope we do. Last summer. I think every appearance that I did on Lake Patrol, I had three of them. It was rained out every time.
And I say, I don't think you the last like two summers. I think you and Fallan both like never had to do your life patrols because of rain. Yeah, and Bailey and I had ours.
We had one and it was rained out, like we drove all the way there and then they were like it's rained out. They're like, well, I guess we're gonna just turn around and go back home.
I know.
And I can't remember if because usually we do two a summer, and I can't remember if I got out for one other one.
I feel like I did last summer.
Yeah, they were a lot of fun because we get a boat. We go to lake to talk on the north side of Big Island. They call it cruisers Cove, and we would pull up and get a bullhorn, and and I just tell you a little bit of what a bitch I am, but also what a perfectionist I am, because you know it's it's like my idea and I want to do it the right way. We always needed
a bullhorn. You need a bullhorn when you pull up so you can go he everybody goes katieb And if you want some prizes, yell and scream and we'll bring some prizes over to you, and fifty percent of the time the interns would either forget the bullhorn or they wouldn't test it out and the batteries would be dead. And I would get so frustrated because how do you let people know you're there on lake patrol without a bullhorn yelling? Go so and you try to yell, but
people can't really hear you. But if you got the bullhorn, man, people would come out of the fucking would work to get a like a key ring that said katiewb on it, or a can of PEPSI like it was liquid gold. But if you don't have a bullhorn, it was it was lame. And I would I would write to the people in charge, like, can we got to have a bull horn? Well we had one last week? Yeah, but the batteries were dead. So it was just me being a little bit.
I mean, you got to be heard. People come out their little boats, did you hear Katie.
This next one is about Jenny. Jenny, I was listening to the podcast last night, and your absence on the show was noticeable, almost as noticeable as when Dave is gone. To me, that's a huge compliment because it simply doesn't feel the same without you. Don't get me wrong, the show is still great. Everybody is wonderful, but the noticeable lack of your presence shows how far you've come on this show. Go Jenny. Thanks from one of the many many Sarah's in their thirties that ride into the Minnesota
Goodbye that is Sarah. Thank you, Sarah, love it well.
Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate that. I can't. I don't know.
It's weird to compare my absence to Dave's because I feel like when Dave's gone its constant, like Wor's Day, wors Day. There's maybe a text one I'm gone there, he'll.
Be back tomorrow.
I found this next email kind of funny. It is basically for Bailey. Bailey, guys, aren't everything. Sixty four year old Irish singer Enya has never been married, never had kids, and lives in a castle with her nine cats. And those shows a picture of Anya sixty four years old. She's beautiful and her house is a castle. It's a freaking castle, and she has nine cats. Now, you don't have the money to live in a castle.
I have any money, I can.
See you with it with nine cats I could have nine cats if I had a house that had like nine rooms, because I could have a cat in every room.
That'd be really nice.
But yeah, I don't. I know, guys aren't everything. Sometimes you just want somebody to squeeze a little bit, that's it. And I don't have any money. I feel like if I had any money, i'd be way happier. Obviously, I have a sun like a sun porch.
Maybe that's nice. Or yeah, you have little twinkly lights.
There's an idea you and Jenny should move in together because Jenny is now she's you know, got some extra room in the house, so you should move in. Jenny's got a sun porch.
I think Jenny and I wouldn't or we would clash a little bit in terms of living together because Jenny is a minimalist and I'm a maximalist. Oh, and I think we would combine.
I think we probably would because I am also a clean freak. And I mean when I did have someone living with me, that person was decently clean, but like not to the extent that I wanted. And I realized once I lived alone again that like, I feel a much more at peace in my house because of the cleanliness that.
I keep up with.
Okay, yeah, I get that.
I wouldn't say I'm unclean. I just sometimes fold my laundry and let it sit there for like a week.
Okay, yeah, before I don't do that. I don't like to mess around the house. But when I leave the show, this big pile of shit over here to my left will all disappear. There are two deck levels, A deck and B deck of my shit that is stacked over here, and once I leave, I think it'll all be thrown away.
Well, you're not going to take it in a box home.
I don't want that puppet. I don't want the other puppets.
Hey that my aunt made.
That I do, but I don't have a place for that in my home.
There's a million places in your home. You have a big mansion.
No, no, Well, because he has too much shit already, he's like working on getting rid of it. That's why it's like hard to get you presents now for Christmas or your birthday, because it's always like, I know, he probably already has everything, and I don't want to give him more shit.
Gift card to Culver's always works for me.
We do, I think we do to gift cars quite often.
You guys, give me a Father's Day present.
I just remembered it's in my car. I have to go get it.
Are you serious to get a Father's Day present for me?
Yeah, it's in my car.
You're not joking, are you? Okay? Well let's wait, Well Bailey go, Should.
I go get it right now?
No, I'm kidding. Okay, So we're going to wrap up the Minnesota goodbye with with that thought, thanks for the emails. These are a lot of fun. I really enjoyed the Porm story that made me giggle and smile. You got any stories that are out of the blue, please send him to us. Those are our favorite kind. Or respond
to anything that we talked about. And if you want a staff writer sticker and you've never written before, please send your email to Ryan Show at KJWB dot com and if we read it on the air and put your address in there, name and his dress, and we'll send you a staff rider sticker.