Not to be Crass - podcast episode cover

Not to be Crass

Jun 09, 202315 min
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Episode description

Dave and Falen share a sad Olive story, discuss pregnancy and more!

Transcript

All right, we're going starts the podcast off with a little tale, a little sad tale involving Fallon's daughter Olive. Yeah. So yesterday we went so Jake's brother Davy is getting married to Laura. Congrats, and they get married in June next year. But obviously she's doing the wedding dress try on. So she invited me and Jake's sister and mom and her mom to go watch her try on dresses. And I texted her last week. I said, hey, can I bring Alive? Totally fine if not, but I think

she'd like love to see you in like princess dresses. She said, let me ask. The store said yes, so perfect. So last night we went to a place and we got there and on the way there, I said, you know all of us, you know, do I get to try on dresses? And I said, no, this is Laura's day. She's trying on dresses. We're gonna watch her for context. You probably know, but Alive is three almost four, yes, okay, so very into princesses vary into dresses. And I said, no, they don't have dresses

your size. It's for Laura. Blah blah. Okay, So we get there and she's still like, I want to try on address. So the lady, you know, every you haven't done a bridal thing, Dave, because you're a guy. But when you go in, you get assigned to one person that works there and they pull dresses for you and they go in the room with you and they clicked the dresses. So that woman was super nice and she was like all was like, I want to try and dress,

and the girl goes, you can. We have little girl dresses and all of like, I'm her face lights up and we said, but you gotta wait. You have to wait till Laura's finished. Okay, okay, Well, so each time Laura would try to dress, is it my turnout? No, we're not finished with Laura yet. And the woman was so great interacting with Olives. So we do all the dress tryons. She finds the one she likes the best, doesn't know if she's gonna get it.

We do some pictures and then they go in the room to take Laura's measurements, which is like the last thing you do so that if you do order one, they know what to order for you. And then the woman comes out and Alive goes, is it my turndown. She goes, oh, sorry, Hunt, we're closed. It's too late now. So was it the same woman that said yes, yes, yes, yeah, all of a sudden, no, we're closing. Okay, it's too late, and Olives looked so sad, and I looked. I was like, oh,

I didn't say anything. Yeah, well you can't say you promise yeah, And I saw all of our family like they all kind of had the same look of like what the funk? And so we left and all of us sat on the way home, and I was like, we'll try to address a different time. But I thought that was so it made me so sad because I did not promise that to her, and that woman kept promising it to her. And the woman was very nice and like she was mean, but I was like, that just made me so sad, and I got

I understood she probably wanted to go home. It was clearly her last appointment of the day. I think we got out of there at like seven forty. She wanted to go home, But I was like, we could have easily thrown a dress on her quickly while they were taking Laura's measurements, just to do one. I don't know, it just made me kind of sad because I was like, I didn't make that promise. You did, and you kept telling her after each dress when Laura's finished, you can, and

she waited so patiently, So that is kind of cute and sad. And I think that, you know, you could say something like, well, you know, it's they got to learn to deal with heartbreak, but that was just kind of rude. And I don't think the woman I'm gonna guess probably doesn't have kids. I guess that's probably she looked pretty young. Yeah, probably doesn't have kids. And you know what, I wouldn't falter because it's one of those things where I'll give you an example of people who don't

have kids. When Steve was single and didn't have kids, he'd be like, yeah, I was in Target, Steve that we used to work on our show, and I saw some kids screaming and yelling. And let me tell you, if I was ever in Target my kid was thrown a fit, I would march them right out of there. I said, no, you won't. You won't because you've gone to Target for a reason. You need to get tiede pods, you need to get the lotion, you need

to get dryer sheets and a towel. You are not going to let the kid dictate whether you And he's like, oh, I would, I would never do that. Rude blah blah blah. And so that he had kids, and his kids turns out like every other kid that have a temper tan firm in target. So I think it's just probably of those things when you don't have kids, you know, maybe, But but Jake's sister texted me she was, ah, that was pretty ff and rude. I said,

he it was a little shogging, but it's okay, all right. Moving on to the emails, we were talking about cemeteries and run and jogging in cemeteries and whether it's rude and whether you know, I don't think it's a good thing, but Jenny and a lot of people do. So I think I'm in the minority on this one. Somebody says, not to be crass, but what's the difference between worms eating your intact body and fishes eating your

body? This was about cemeteries and how we should do away with, you know, like we're going to run out of room and what are they gonna do with cemeteries in five hundred years and it's a waste of land and there could be a beautiful lake shore and instead of building a nice walmart or canes or something, they put a cemetery there. And now it's taken up forever

because you can always tear down a walmart and put something else there. So if you want a free up development and get rid of a beautiful green space, then ocean lake burial should be the first choice to reverse carbon emissions. Just trap some cement shoes to my feet and let me go. Ps. I definitely recommend having a picnic in a cemetery. If you're religious, then

go on the Day of the Dead. If not, dress up and go to your local cemetery on Halloween. Definitely ask for a permission before doing it. So, okay, thank you for that one. Let's go to another one. My name is Raven. I love your show. Happy to hear you guys. Every morning continues to this podcast, and it continues to this podcast afterward. I remember going to daycare before the sun was up in my mom's old pickup and listening to you, and now I get to put my

daughter through it too. Anyway, we were talking yesterday about porn magazines and how little boys and maybe little girls, but let's face it, it's mostly a little boy thing, or not hopefully too little. I found my brother's penthouses and playboys when I was a kid, I don't know, twelvesh or

something like that. And then I was talking about how I had a porn magazine in my desk and my dad came to visit in Arizona thirty years ago, and I walked in the bedroom and did I say, desk, I'm at nightstand and he walked I walked in and there he was sitting in the side of the bed reading my porn magazine. It's like, well, you know what, hey, he's human whatever. Anyway, I remember I was

about eleven or twelve around preteen time. I would get the mail after getting off the bus, and I'd find my mom's Victorious Secret swimsuit catalogs and my dad's Maxim magazines and they would disappear right to his nightstand. I flat out asked him, and he said, what I like the articles, and he'd snatched him away. What she was doing in Dad's nightstand, I have no idea, but she found him and took him to Dad and said, what's with this? I believed him, and when he was in home, I

tried to read the articles myself. I remember I sat in my parents' bed reading to Maxim magazine Young Girl at twelve years old, thinking how dumb it was to be an adult. Must have read the wrong articles. But that's not all. We started to find those magazines in my older brother's room or hidden away in the garage where my brother and his buddy spent a lot of time quote working on cars. Needless to say, no more magazines came through

the mail after that. Haha, love you guys, have a great weekend. Thank you, Raven. That was a lot of fun. I think there is a point in everyone's life, boy or girl, were they find

mom and dad's condoms, drawer of sex devices or porn. Yeah. I remember my friend Kimberly finding the drawer of like devices and being so surprised because she had like the strictest parents ever, and it's like, yeah, her mom's still to this day is like, you know, Kimberly, I was young once too, That's what she'll say, and it makes us a laugh, for like, ah, no, it's true. I remember I found condoms in my dad's drawer and they were very old, and I don't.

I mean, I think that they just looked very old and was like, I don't think mom could have even had a kid by the time I was old enough to find those condoms. She was, when's the age when you can really kind of go off birth control and know that you're gonna be okay? Forty eight fifty. I think it has to do with menopause, honestly, so I don't know, And everyone hits menopause at a different age, so I really do not know. I guess pick a number. Let's pick

a number, and let's go with it. Let's go with it. So anybody listening knows, go ahead and pick a number. Women can still have kids in their fifties for sure? What Yeah, seriously with natural insemination, well, there are stories. I don't think a lot of them are, but I think that they can. I don't know. Let's just to be safe safe fifty five, but I don't even think. I don't know either, right. Well, A woman asked Gary Spivey one time, she said,

can I still get pregnant? And Gary Spivey said, do you still get your period? And she said yeah, And he said, well, then you can get pregnant, and I think that's true. I just think that, Like I know somebody who is a close radio friend and they were trying to get pregnant and she couldn't. She went in and she was like thirty eight or forty, and she said, yeah, the doctor said, my eggs are too old, so it can debt. But my sister easily

had a baby in her early forties. Yes, exactly. I think everyone's just so different, it's so unique. It's the same reason. Like you know, I've talked about this before, I feel uncomfortable and when people will reach out to me and ask me how easy it was for Jake and I'd get pregnant, and it was very easy. And I hate saying that because so many people struggle that are younger than me or whatever it may be.

And it's like, I never talked about that portion of it because I didn't want anyone else to feel bad about what they were going It's already hard enough. No, I was gonna say, I was gonna expand on your comment, but I really don't want to upset anybody who's going through that. So let's move on to a mystery video. Andrew wrote in the other day and said, hey, I'm looking for a video that I remember seeing and it

was a bayou and Brass band. And Liz did some research and she said, I don't know if it's right, but it's called perfect by fair Ground Attraction. So, Andrew, if that is what you were looking for, you can google it perfect by fair Ground Attraction. Hopefully it helps. I love Google challenges. I was thinking it sounded familiar by the description, but watching the video didn't jog any memories. Thank you for the entertainment. Thank

you, Liz. I know Liz and her husband. They're both airplane nerds like me. I think we ran into each other in an air show last year. Another one thrown in my two cents about cremation versus burying loved ones. Now I preread this and it's really interesting. My husband's grandma is ninety. She has saved the ashes of her husband and her two daughters. She and her husband plus the two daughters have cemetery plots and stones, but she

refused to bury them in the cemetery. She wants to keep the ashes. That's fine, that's her choice. But I never understood why they bought the burial plots and stones. Then okay, when she dies, she doesn't want us to bury or scatter the ashes, So in a sense, we are inheriting four dead bodies ashes. What are we supposed to do with them? Of course we love her and love my husband's grandfather, aunt and mother, but it's extremely unfair to put that burden on us to have to keep four

urns and expect future or and her generations to do the same. If that were the case, then eventually people would end up with hundreds of earns of ashes. What are your thoughts on this? Am I being too harsh? Plus if we chose to bury them, that's an added expense to us to suddenly have to bury the earns, four of them. That is not cheap, thank you. I don't know. There's a couple of different ways. I would say. You can talk to her and say I'm sorry, we

are not going to keep these. What would you like us to do? Please make a decision and maybe she'll make a decision. Or you can be this person and when Grandma's gone you can scatter them. I don't know. I wouldn't know what to do. It's like, you feel so guilty going and get their wishes, But it's also I agree, I mean, could you just put them in the basement and not have to see all? I really think about I'm sure, But then I mean eventually, then what your

kids get them? And they don't even know these people? And then it's like, I don't know. Well, we have the same thing in my house because Susan's mom and dad and my mom and dad are cremated. That we didn't take all of the ashes. We took a little urn about the size a little bit bigger than an egg, and we have them on the bookshelf upstairs, and they're like sitting right next to each other whatever. I

honestly, I don't think I remember which one is. Yeah, I don't, but to me, there's it was very consoling when they first died. Now enough time has gone by that I don't feel consolation or their presence through their ashes. So I don't want Alison and Carson to one day inherit these and go what do I do with them? So we'll probably scatter them,

yeah, or I don't know. I mean, I get we're not gonna bury them, because I'm not going to buy a plot just to bury them, But we might scatter them because most of my mom and dad are scattered in Colorado behind the house, and Susan's mom and dad are buried in a plot in Fayette, Ohio. Fayette, Ohio. Wait, I thought you said you had Susan's mom and dad too. Part. So yeah, so just part, just like the size of an egg. Still have a plot, yes, correct? Okay? Interesting, Okay, all right, let's

move on because let's find something else besides death to talk about. Here's one. Here's one about cancer. Let's know I'm kidding. Okay, interesting one. Heard you guys talking about what Arnold said about heaven, the afterlife, etc. Arnold was We had an audio quote yesterday or the day before, and he said something like, you'll don't live on after you'll die. You'll die, you're dead. People need to get over the idea that you're going

to see your loved ones in the afterlife. That's a pretty good impression, though, he said, it reminded me of a dream that I had. Yes, I can hear Drake saying nobody cares about your dreams, especially every time my wife mentions her dreams to me. Well, I had a dream I was dead, and in my dream I was still living, but without my body so kind of like in spirit form. In the dream, I was like, I need to tell people that this is what happens when we

die. But then I was like, how can I tell people if I'm dead? Laugh emoji. Thanks for reading. That's from Chow Chow, a regular contributor to the Dave Ryan Show podcast. I appreciate it. Hey, if you're a regular contributor, please keep it up. We need that. The emails or the lifeblood of the Minnesota goodbye. And if you've never emailed before and you're like I don't know what to say, well anything maybe just anything that comes to mind, or a complaint or a comment or how does

Fowling get her hair to be so shiny and luxuriant? Oh good question. I don't have the answer to that. Thank you for asking. Okay, well, whatever you have, send your emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com. Have a good weekend or whenever you listen to this podcast,

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