Minnesota Goodbye. Let's get started with the emails, and here we go and write saying hey, yo, hope you're having a wonderful day. I personally don't understand why we all live here, but I digress because right now as we record this, it is six degrees below zero. Just want to reach out and say how much I appreciate you all. Every day I listened religiously to Minnesota Goodbye and every hour of the podcast. It's been a real tricky few years as my husband has battled some serious mental health
challenges that left me a single mom quite often. But you guys in your show have been a constant light in my days, and I'm forever grateful. I really appreciate that. When I was a kid, I thought KATIEWB was the naughty station, and I guess your kin I was kind of right. But your salacious stories, inappropriate jokes, and quick wit kept me going even when life was really damn hard. If you'd told sixteen year old me that the Morning Crew would one day be in my kitchen and ride
with me, I would have never believed you. But last summer will always be a highlight for me. Jamison tells everyone. Mom listens to the Dave Ryan Show and they came to our house. Oh, I didn't realize this is from Anna for Anna? I think, is it go for Anna? It's Anna? Right?
Yeah? And I remember we wrote.
Yeah we rode horses and Jamison was okay. I didn't realize that I didn't put it together. You guys made a big impression on him. Also side note, I never realized how little Drake did until Vont came on the show. I don't mean that as a diss on Drake, but more as a wow. Vant is really awesome. If only all twenty three year olds had his drive and talent. Jenny and I are going to say mom on that subject, he hears being mom.
We're being mom. We're being mom, right, you're being the most mum.
As more mom, miss yeah, more mom. What you can read into them, well, I know I don't have anything to read into him just being mom. On the subject the new crew is wonderful. I miss Fallon, but I love Bailey and Vant. Bailey is so kind and Jay. Jenny's my bestie and travel buddy, even if she doesn't know it yet. And Dave is a constant source of wisdom. I don't know why I felt the need to stay up past my bedtime to send this, but I did have a wonderful day moah from Anna. Hey, thank you.
That's that's very nice because she has reached out enough times that we we know each other. And we rode horses at her house.
That was so fun.
Yeah, and it was fun because I think some of us had never rid on a horse before.
I've never done it.
I don't think either, right. Maybe maybe on a beach somewhere he has, Oh.
Yeah, like on a mule.
Yeah.
Rachelle writes in good Morning, my name is Rocky. I listen to your show every weekday, Dave. I've been listening since you stole me away from John Hines at wl L Loyal ever since tomorrow's my eight year anniversary working at the Loop West End. I've had the pleasure of serving Fallon twice, but I've always wanted you to come belly up to my bar. If you're ever so inclined to help me celebrate my anniversary, I'd be happy to host and treat you. The more the merrier, bring the
whole crew. We can take a shot together. If nothing else, thank you for bringing joy to my morning, so many years XO XO from Rocky We work within an easy walk of the Loop restaurant, and I was over there a friend of mine and her friends and her girlfriend got together and they said, oh, they listened to your show. They'd love to meet you. And I said, well, I want to meet your new girlfriend. So I went over there and I said, Hi, the Loop the other day.
But I think that, honestly, may have been the only time I've been in the Loop.
Really, I thought, didn't we all go eat there? Maybe crazy?
It was crazy?
Yeah, yes, yeah, I've been to the Loop a handful of times. I frequented the North Loop Loop most.
Of my twenties.
I was there all the time, but the one in the West n as you get a little bit older, that's.
More of like your older loop to go to.
So I've only been there a handful of times because my party days are somewhat behind me.
I gotcha. Next one. I wanted to respond to the topic about the outlet on the Kitchen Islands. I'm currently building a house. A law recently went into effect that there cannot be an outlet on the island, but the workaround is to add a us be outlet to your island and then change it to a regular outlet once
you move in. And that's from Ashley, So yeah, okay, interesting the story is that, you know, a little kid pulled the hot pot of stew or chili down onto their face because the crock pot was plugged into the island outlet. So now apparently, honestly, depending on who you ask, you had another story. So okay, thank you, next one. Sorry, Jenny, women get a pap smear, not a pap smear.
I don't care.
I know, Okay, I know, because I just do not care to correct myself with I.
Heard that yesterday and I didn't correct you because I thought, you know, nobody needs to be corrected by a dad on how to say pop smear. But it did make me smile a little bit because she says you put a schmear of cream cheese on a bagel.
Jim and I titled the podcast pap shmear? Oh did you just to be funny? Because that's what Jennie said.
Amy says, hello to my favorite morning show, Bailey. But you've mentioned going to workout classes at a YMCA. Can you explain to me the process of attending a workout class through them. I know how I would sign up for a class on the app. But when I arrived, do I check into the front desk, go straight to the room. When I get to the room, do I sit and stand or whatever? Do I bring my own equipment?
I have anxiety about the gym, and I was hoping you could give me all the details I would build up the courage to attend my first Y class if I didn't feel like a total new bee.
Yeah, you just walk in. So if you're I used to be at the y like when I was in high school college, but I was recently at La Fitness, and I assume it's the same. Where you come in, you scan your card, your membership card or whatever, and then you just go straight to the room that the class is in. If you go to the gym before that to like kind of scope out where that room is, then you don't have to wonder where it is, and then you just walk in. I honestly, I'm in the
same boat as you. I just look around and see what everyone else has and then grab the same exact thing, and I pick a spot in the back corner, somewhere in the back, so I don't have to look at myself in the mirror. But it's pretty it's pretty easy, and people are like nice to you when you're there for the most part, or the instructor will come up and talk to you or say like, who, here's new. But I literally just look at what other people grab
and then just grab the exact same thing. And I usually don't say anything to anyone.
I feel you're pain. The first time I ever went skiing, I was nineteen years old and I went to get learned to take skiing lessons. So I signed up and I went, and I didn't know how to put on my boots. Once I walked in ski boots, I was like, what the fuck? This is crazy? And then I didn't I was very, very uncomfortable. But that's the shit that you got to go through to do anything new. Yeah, there's got to be a little bit of discomfort while you learn something new because you're gonna suck at it
at the beginning. Yeah, it's like when somebody taught me how to play pickleball. I didn't know the how to keep score, the kitchen rules, or the double bounce. I didn't know that stuff.
So I love group fitness because one you have someone telling you what to do. Two everyone's doing the same thing, and three it goes by really fast and then you're done, and then you were like I worked out today.
Wow, it's good. Yeah, Jenny, this was a little attack on you. Are you can you take it?
Sure?
Okay? Hi, guys, love you listen every single day. I have one request. Can Jenny please please please stop saying the word like fifty million times a day?
Okay?
I like seriously have to like fast forward through like parts of the show where like Jenny starts like talking for more than like thirty seconds. It's like really bad. I mean she says like the word like probably like close to like every other word. Please make it stop. I don't even know it, but I love you guys from Jill. I didn't notice that all I say it to Jill. I don't know why you don't pick on me because I say, like definitely and actually a whole lot.
If you were to do some sort of word scan, the word like definitely and actually would come up on my word scan a lot.
I say essentially a lot because I don't know exactly what.
I'm talking about, Okay, essentially.
Actually, I just never know how to find a word.
Jenny stops saying, like all the time, I do say it all the time.
I know I do. I'm very well aware of that.
It's just that in the moment you're not aware of it, so you don't realize you're doing it when you're telling a story. And if you listen to certain things, I know I say like a lot in moments where I'm emotional more so than like, well I just had a no then, like just telling a random story. But no, I say it a lot, and I'm aware and I'll work on it.
I think if that's the worst thing they can find about any of us, that's not too bad. But I know we all have our crutch words. I think I say uh and a lot. Yes, Because when I was in Toast Masters, we critique each other speaking ability, and they would always say, Dave, you've got The first thing they said was put down your pen. You're fidgeting with your pen the entire time you're speaking. Thanks to Joe Anne for telling me about that one. And they said you would the uh uh stop with that, and so
it's really difficult. It's like breaking a habit. So thank you, Jill. Then we have somebody who was talking about a seapap and actually, well, I'll probably read that one on the air because I was talking about getting a seapap And how do you get a seatpap because I think I need one. Yes, here we go. This is an interesting one.
She wrote the other day about moving. They thought about the family moving to Florida and whether they would be regretful of not doing it, or they'd begretful because they'd move and the kids would not be around grandparents. I have a lot of experience with moving out of state with young kids. When the economy crashed twenty years ago, my kids were three and five. My now ex took a job in Texas that moved us away from Minnesota, where everybody lived. Didn't move back to Minnesota until three
years ago. Flights between Houston and Minneapolis were expensive, so we didn't come very often. Here are my thoughts. If you are able to afford traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Florida so your kids can still have time with Florida and know them and know them, then go for it, especially when they're younger. If you don't think you can afford that connection, then you one hundred percent risk your kids straight up not having a relationship with
their extended family in Minnesota. If you think that you want to move to Florida for a few years and then move back later, just make sure you are where you want to be long term by the time your kids are entering middle school, because after that it's extremely hard for kids to move in middle school. So some really good advice to some enough if the kids are young, do it now, then move back when they are older so they can have a solid relationship with family members
that'll stay with them into adulthood. Just my opinion based on the past. That's from Ranita. Thank you, Ranita. Yeah, we've had this problem with my grandkids, best kids. They don't come visit. They don't know if they can't afford it or what, but they but they don't come to visit. I haven't seen them in almost two years. And I guess you could say, whose responsibility is it? Is it the kids to fly to grandma and grandpa or is it grandma and grandpa to fly to the kids? To me,
I always flew to my mom and dad. I always did. I always saved the money I always had. Made it a point I'm going to go see my fucking parents. So I would save the money and fly to see them in Colorado twice a year. So whose responsibility is it to fly to the kids, to fly to the grandparents.
We would also have to do with a home base though, Yeah, like that was your home base growing up, and Beth is living in her home base currently, so to come to Minneapolis is like, I'm not excusing them to not come visit you, but I do think there is a little bit of a difference between those two scenarios.
Yeah, there's something there. Yeah, I get that, but it is a shame because Alison and Carson have not seen Beth or her kids probably since Chase got married almost four years ago.
Wow.
So yeah, because like I always go home to see my family, they rarely come up here. But that's because my family's all in Fontolac and they all stayed there, and that's home, well, used to be home for me.
Let's move on down the line here and do another one. Let me start down here at the bottom. I have a random question request that you might be able to help me with. Way back in the day, there was a parody commercial for something called Amish Wireless. Do we still have and can you look up and see if we have Amish wireless? Can you dig up a recording and play it? Amish wireless was basically, you know, because
the Amish they don't do is electricity and technology. So we did Amish wireless and if we can find it, you pop it on a button bar Jenny, and I'll see if I can play it. It might take her a minute. Parodies pot and we did like several of them. I mean these go back, these go back to the mid nineties.
I probably remember it, but it's probably very deep in my brain. Somewhere in one of the folds.
Yeah, in one of the folds, Yeah, are you going to peel it back? And there's things in there like old FreeDOS and sunflower seeds.
Oh gosh, piece of glass? Is that from my car day?
It you look under your couch lately?
Have I?
Yeah? Because I lost the remote the other day and I could not find it. So I have a recliner couch. Yeah, and I opened it up and oh my god, everything from M and M's to dog treats to cat toys to like, I don't know, there was a family of guinea pigs under there.
Christmas.
If you can't find it, but I'm just trying to figure out what page you're on so I can throw it on that one on the day strip page.
Two different versions.
Yeah, there's several different versions, okay.
But this is probably the OG one.
Okay. Possibly, let me put it in qu and we'll see if we can play this. It got to push the right buttons and here we go. Here's Amish Wireless.
You're busy, you get it early, and most nights you're up late. While you know how important work is, you also remember to have fun, and with Amish Wireless, we make having fun easy, introducing the Amish Wireless app Store. Now you can download hundreds of apps right to your phone.
Zachariyah, it has been a long day cutting hay by hand. How about we sit in the shade of the wagon and play brick Breaker on my phone from Amish Wireless.
A miss, I would love to join you.
But does it playing brick Breaker on your phone make us too worldly?
Not at all, Zachariyah, As I have Amish Wireless here, let me show you hand me that brick Oh what fun.
The app store from Amish Wireless also features great titles like Heave, Hawks, Lift, Throw, doorstop, Paperweight Hammer and the number one app in the Amish Wireless app store, Splash.
Good splash Amus my time to go get.
And introducing an Amish wireless app made especially for women folk, meat Tenderizer.
Now that I have the new meat Tenderizer app from Amish Wireless, the whole family just loves my big lamb shops right, children, and after dinner, I'm going to use my other new app, cas.
Straight Amish Wireless leading the way into the nineteenth century.
And there it is. That's not the original one. The original was. That was with Lena.
I was gonna say it sounded like Lena.
That was definitely Lena. Is there another one there?
I think there is, But it seemed like the other one was a two point zero version, like it wouldn't have been the original.
See let's find let's let's have a little fun.
He narrator on that.
I don't know.
I really don't wait that you speak zucho rya, because this is what Elmish people sound.
Like, exactly, that's what we think they sound like.
This one's labeled wireless too, so I assumed this was like the second version.
But here's another one, okay.
In today's fast paced world, you don't have time for things like getting lost or stopping to ask for directions when you need to get somewhere. You need new navigation services from Amish Wireless.
Rebecca, Evelyn, myself and our seven children would like to request you to come over tonight for fresh lamb and potatoes.
Samuel. I would be delighted to attend, but I know its not how to get to your.
Home, Rebecca. Have you not heard of Amish Wireless and their new navigation services.
Amish Wireless will get you. There was no problem, no light and no shiny objects.
Rebecca.
I have climbed to the top of the windmill where I will direct with you to my house in fifty feet prepared to turn right then take your first leave.
Amish Wireless no contracts, no startup fees and no power cords and now with navigation services.
Samuel Jebediah needs to make a stop to empty his bladder.
Where may I find ye place to do so?
Rebecca, Please make a left turn then turn right at the barn.
Wow, this homage Wireless is very helpful.
I will be able to make it home in time to turn butter before the big furniture sale and coverage.
Amish Wireless has you covered anywhere there's a windmill, a barn, a hill, or even a large knoll. You know that Amash Wireless's three G service is there for you.
Rebecca, you have passed our house. When possible, please make a legal U turn.
Amish Wireless leading the way into the nineteenth century. Three G means three goats, which is the annual subscription rate, so you're elders for details.
Okay, that made me laugh, you know it would me laugh. Artist or a large knoll. It's like whether there's a hill of wind, miller, barn or a large knoll. Okay, that's good stuff, Thank you very much. That was fun. Honestly, I don't really write a lot of parody spots anymore, and I don't really know why. I'm not sure.
In my experience of being on the radio is kind of turning into one of those older radio bits that people don't really do anymore. It's just I think humor has changed a little bit since back then.
You know, you know, I could make that argument, but I know that Saturday Night Live still does the same stick and it still works. I think if I took the effort. People would still like them, but radio has definitely changed over the years because when I was first here, we did a lot of what we would call street stunts, where Patt Eberts would go out and do something funny out in public, Like I remember one off the top
of my head. He'd go into a grocery store on his cell phone and he would steal items from somebody else's cart and put them in his cart until they caught him. And each time he did it, because we're on the radio, you couldn't see it, he would say something like, I don't know, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, and then eventually the other person would say something like, hey, you're taking stuff out of my cart. No, I wasn't. And we did that every day. Was a different streets done
really and we don't do those anymore. And I'm gonna to give it one of the reasons, because you can get in trouble now, you know, somebody can like honestly threaten to sue you for mental distress, and we just don't do those anymore. And plus it's such a We used to be downtown so we could walk across the street and do a stunt in front of forty people.
Yeah.
Now we're not downtown, and even if we were downtown, there's not that many people downtown anymore, like work and then big skyscrapers, Yeah yeah, skyway.
You guys sent me as an intern to Cub to do a Valentine's bit, whereas like Valentine's card or not. So it was like Dave wrote up funny Valentine's cards. But then I read actual cards that were in the Hallmark Aisle Cub and I'll never forget because Dave had a typo on it.
It was supposed to say Rue Paul, and I said Ron Paul, and.
I didn't get it at the time because I didn't really know who Ru Paul was whatever, And you guys laughed and laughed because like you thought, I should understand that it was Rue Paul, but I didn't know who that was. But I'll never forget that bit out in the wild.
All, let's check back in with somebody. They were talking about a monthly bucket list calendar and things to do during the month of January, and so I want to I just want to see whether anybody did any of these things, and I doubt that you did, but this was something that somebody wrote in a month ago and said, do these things in January so you'll have something to do. Learn to make a paper crane, make a fort with blankets, make a suncatcher. Tie to your room frame some of
last year's photos. Make a star garland, grow a new houseplant, reread a favorite book, take a brisk morning walk, make clay fridge magnets, send somebody a handwritten letter, thrift a new mug or old cup. Gift flowers to yourself, start my favorite part of today journal, or fill your home with cozy lights. And I just thought, you know, let's go. I wanted to revisit that because I'm sure that everybody who heard that thought that's a cool idea and did absolutely nothing about it.
Right.
I definitely put cozy lights in my apartment. I didn't have those before.
I didn't say. There were a few things on that list. I did, but not because of being I was like, tidy your room, yeah, I did that. Go on a brisk walk. I mean, we can't really do morning walks unless we're trying to be up when it's super dark.
Yeah, but like at in the evening, Yeah, I've done that.
Okay, let's see we have time.
Still, Jinny, we have the two minutes.
Okay, long time listener here, loving the show. I hope you say more dirty things soon because Bailey's laugh is infectious. Thanks for bringing the flavor to the show. Dave, Thanks for years of being here. I appreciate your wisdom. Jenny. If I was close to your age, we would party girls together when we were out there like that in tea ways. The following up on somebody's discussion about painting
their nails at a kid's sporting event. First, I think people need to stop being so offended over every little thing. You know what I hate smell a dryer sheets. Dryer sheets with artificial sense have bad stuff in them. I don't go next door and tell my neighbors stop using dryer sheets. For me, the worst is candles in the workplace while they're burning and even after they're blown out, the smoke I hated. It gives me a headache. Many candles also have a lot of bad stuff, including lead
in the wick. Oh I nicely commented, I don't like the smell of your candles. It gives me a headache, but people continue to burn them, so I just closed my door. Thank you. Don't use my name. I didn't know you could burn candles at work, honestly.
I mean I used to do essential oils and I would get in trouble for that at my old job because I.
Would be surprised. I'm curious. Did she say where she works?
No, she did not know, and she doesn't what she wants stay anonymous.
Yet I would not assume any place that I've ever worked would allow me to burn candles.
Yeah.
Yeah, Well the thing, I've got a couple of candles, like glade smelly candles on my desk, and I like them. But then I read somewhere that it is full of like toxics that you're going to bring breathe in like little tiny pieces of wick and wax and you're going
to inhale these. And then I thought, you know, we get all we really, there's all kinds of shit we put into our bodies, and then we worry about like the one to one millionth of a percent of a particle of candle wax, you know, But we're eating lard and chocolate all over the place. Are you about sneeze?
I think, so, okay, oh nope, it's well, it's just going to sit there now, it's got a little table in your nose.
Candles or essential oils I have.
I do candles at home, and I used to do essential oils at my desk at my old job. But I don't know there was only They would only complain about it if I accidentally, like put too much oil in it and they could smell it like a round. But usually people didn't complain.
I've heard people who complain about colognes and perfumes, like somebody who wears way too much Colonne or perfume. And we give van to a hard time because he wears, you know, a little bit too much cologne. But I guess I've either gotten used to it or I don't mind it. And also vont is in the other room of it.
He started wearing less?
Is he wearing less?
So when Tony comes in, Tony wears, oh, he wear an immense amount of cologne. Yeah, And so that it's like night and day.
Honestly, Okay, appreciate all the emails. We have some catching up to do, and I will say that if you want to hear something from the show that we haven't played into long time, that you remember from when you were a kid. That was a lot of fun for me. I never ever, ever, ever go back and listen to old stuff. I just don't. To me, it's a all in the past and you've got to keep moving forward. But it's kind of like looking at your old high school yearbook.
You know.
You don't go home and sit there and look at your high school yearbook and dream and dream, but once in a while it's fun to pull out. Send emails to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com.