Minnesota. Goodbye Today starts off with a rent from your friend and mine. I need a already. Yeah, okay, let me find the right button to push here. Sometimes all these buttons are like overwhelming. Okay, here we go.
Hey, hey, my radio family. So this week's rant is about my dog, Mocha. Mocha is a three year old German Shepherd. We've had her since she was a puppy. I sent you a picture of her in this email. So my whole life, I've always the only dogs that I've ever loved was German shepherds. I love German shepherds and Mocha. She is very, very protective. She's very protective, she's a good watch dog. She's very smart. I learned that German shepherds are very intelligent. I swear to God
that fucking dog is smarter than me. But what the one thing that pisses me off is how much German shepherds shed. I never knew that they shed that much fucking hair. It's like, how the hell do you stay warm in the winter with all your hair on the goddamn floor. I swear to God, I could sweep up enough hair off the floor to make a whole nother fucking dog. I wish somebody had to warn me or told me that German shepherds shed that much. She's not one of those hairy German shepherds, but she sheds a
lot of fucking hairs. Where the hell is this all this hair coming from? Jeez, that shit pisses me off. Well, I just want to say this will be my last rant for this year because as of next week we will be in Phoenix, Arizona, visiting family for Christmas in New Year's so I just want to say that I wish you all a very, very happy Merry Christmas and New Year. Jenny and Bailey stay as beautiful as you
guys are. Bailey, make sure Trip keeps that voice. You and Alyssa are the two of the most adorablest couple I have seen in a long time. You all stay cute. Dave Yes, me and you will get married in the next life and we are gonna hook up. We are gonna our wedding song is gonna be wet like the rain. We're gonna go home, We're gonna make babies, and we're gonna cook us some corn bread and greens and kool Aid and the One rule that we will and put in place is to make sure that fuck is no
longer a curse word. I love you guys, and have a safe and merry Christmas. Bye.
I love that woman. I told her when we met her at we were doing Coach for kids and she pulled up and she's dropping off some coats and I don't know, we were hugging, and I think I whispered in her ear. I said, I'm gonna marry you in a different life or something like that, because we're a lot the same. We love to bitch. Yeah, we're both around the same age. We're super funny and horny, very
very very horny. I made that part up. I don't know if Want to Eat is horny or not, but but thank you boy to you to appreciate all the rants a cay. Next one, let's root through. There's a lot of people sitting in Christmas wishes to this email address, and we are not accepting them that way, and we're also full up with Christmas wish so we've already got all of them scheduled, so let's go to this one. Like Jenny, I too wrapped my Mate of Honors speech.
Oh I forgot. We're doing this speech. Eesday, I too wrapped my made of honor speech for my sister's wedding, and wrapped is a loose term. I rewrote the entire song of Ice Heights Baby performed it at their dance about an hour in. I figured the more liquored up people were, the better. I memorized the whole thing and practice for months. The wedding was in twenty sixteen. I still know about ninety percent of it off the top of my head. Only downfall was the terrible cold I
had that weekend. I couldn't breathe through my nose. During my shining moment, I gave my normal speech of the dinner and to throw them off, Oh, to throw them off, which I printed on paper because it drives me out watching people with their phones giving wedding speeches. My low quality rap video lives on YouTube with minimal views. Wishing you all a merry Christmas and happy New Year. Oh, Lauren,
you should have sent me the link. But now the moment we've all been waiting for, Jenny wrapped to fresh Prince of bel Air, this Mate of Honor speech.
Now I listen back to this and there's some instrumental parts. So I don't know if I'll get this totally correct without the music in the background.
But play the music in the background, no.
Because it's like a specific version and we don't need to waste the time. Okay, here we go. Now this is a story all about how my sister likes someone's tender profile. I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how these two started their love affair. Then there's like an instrumental in Funa Lac, Wisconsin born and raised, Chasing boys was how arrangement. Most of her days she studied, and she worked, and she went to school and passed summer days out by the pool.
When she got the news she was going to move for a job to the city. Is that I approved? So she she got cold feet, but didn't really care. She took the leap of faith in moved there more instrumental blah blah blah in a three bedroom apartment is where she stayed with two cats and me and a crazy roommate. She spent one fall night swipe in Left and Right, where she matched with a boy named Corey. To her delight, they began to chat a lot, so he took her out to dinner at a hot spot.
As they drove to their restaurant, he almost crashed because his nerves sent him into a hot flash. After dating for a while, it was very clear they had fallen in love with no fear. If anything, I would say that this love is rare, and I thought, hell yeah, what an amazing pair. They said their vows at about three to oho eight, and I looked to Rachel, you home, smell it you Later, I look at my sister, she is now Corey's wife. I wish you both the best and a wonderful new life.
Wow.
I try to summarize, like their quick meeting, they met on Tinder and did that whole thing, got together while my sister was living with me at the time, and just tried to do a quick summary of their love.
How did you do with the performance, because that's going to be true, So the performance you actually were flawless. Didn't lose your place, because when you do something like that and you lose your place, now the music keeps going and you're fucking stuck in the back.
I mean, I was smart and prepared and had everything printed out and everything ready to go. I I had coordinated with the DJ to make sure everything went the right way. My younger sister and I took some patron shots ahead of time to calm the nerves because I was nervous.
Yeah, I really was.
But yeah, it was a pretty big hit because that was like a little bit before the age of everyone was doing raps or like some kind of song or something for a speech. So I feel like I really surprised the crowd. You know, it's not like they had seen it before. Yeah, So I don't know. I think it went pretty well.
Nice I did. I played the ukulele for my maid of honor speech, and I played a song from Greece called those Magic Changes because the people who are getting married my friend Sarah and Jordan. Jordan played that guy who sang that song in Greece at the chant Has in Dinner Theater. Do you want me to play it?
Yeah? Yeah, and that to me, Okay, well, here we keep we do keep a ukulele here in the studio.
There's actually two.
This is the only song I know by heart because it literally says the the chords in the song okay, okay, here we go. Nope, I don't think this is tuned. That's okay. Okay cee C C C C C A A A A minor f f f f f f g g g G seven. Sarah and Jordan are getting married today. They're super in love and every single way their love is like a Disney story book. When Sarah walked down the ile, eye was shook together forever baby, very best friends or maybe soulmates, heart desires, kindred spirits
o their synonyms four true love companions, spousal companions. That's hard to rhyme, Sarah and Jordan. It's about time, you're in your prime of beauty.
Oh my Darley, Oh yeah, wow.
The time.
I didn't know which Grease song that was at first, but once you started singing, I remember which one? That is?
Nice?
You have the Forgotten songs from Greece.
It is forgotten. It's in the musical version, not in the in the movie, right, I don't know it. Well, it's in the movie, but they like play it at the prom, and so many of the songs in the musical they just play at the prom. So anyway, I sang that, and I pulled the ukulele out from underneath my seat and no one knew it was down there.
Now, let me ask you the big questions. Sarah and Riley Jordan Jordan, I don't know where you got Riley. How are they doing these days?
They're still married, they have two kids now. I went with them to see The Little Mermaid this past Tuesday, and so they met Trim. So yeah, it was a big old deal. I still love them. They're still my best friends.
Trip update. We haven't gotten a trip update. I feel intrusive if I asked too much about him. No, so what's the latest.
Way. I was there on Sunday. He was kind of annoying me on Sunday because he wanted to just like hang out and do nothing all day. I am not that kind of.
You are not a hangout and do nothing kind of a girl.
Yeah, I get like I get a recharger battery situation. But my last relationship was always recharging his batteries all the time. So I feel triggered a little bit. But it was fine. Yeah, I was good.
Okay, good. You know what you've told me a little bit about your previous relationship and how it seemed like you just never wanted to do anything anything. No, And yeah, I think it's one of the big things in a relationship is like, well, do you like to sit around the house but not all the time. Yeah, Like Susan and I are pretty agreeable about how much we want to go out, like we'll go Like on a Friday night, we might go do you want to go out? Nah,
We'll go out tomorrow night. Saturday night rolls around will be like do you want to go out?
Nah?
I'm good stay at home. But other times like, let's go somewhere.
So my answers always yes, do you want to go somewhere?
Yeah?
I do.
Next one Minnesota Goodbye. I was listening Monday and I heard Dave say people used to actually say don't touch that dial because there was a literal dial to change the TV channel. Got me thinking about the TV we had grown up. I'm thirty one. For reference, We used to have a pair of pliers to change the channel because the knob had been broken off. My brother lost it. Curious, what was something you grew up with that you thought
was normal but you found out was not normal? While your brainstorm, I got another example babysitting in the neighborhood girls at thirteen, I said, where's your clicker? That was the first time I tried to make them lunch. Our stove at home did not work correctly, so we always had to turn the burner on and use a clicker to get it to light. Now by clicker, I had to think about this. It's one of those things that looks like a trigger, like a candle lighter.
Yeah, like a lighter.
Yeah, yeah, but it's long, I think, yeah, she said, not sure if we were weird or poor considering my two examples. Can't wait to hear yours, Katie, you and I. She labels herself in house underwriter. That's funny. We also we had ATV at one time where the knob was gone, so we used a pair of pliers to change the channel. We also had rabbit ears that had broken off. The antenna broken off, so we stuck a coat hanger in the top of the TV.
That's like smart, that.
Was the antenna. But also we had a gas stove and we didn't use a clicker. We kept a botch of wooden kitchen matches on the top of the stove. So because the gas, the pilot light wouldn't work, so we would turn on the gas for the burner and then we would.
Have to light it for some reason every time, not that I've done that a bunch of times. So anytime I've had to actually light gas on a stove, I just think it's going to blow up and I'm going to die, even though it's like it lights on fire itself. But sometimes when you have to light it yourself, you're like, this is it. This is the end.
That's the end. I get it. Yeah, that's the only thing that I can think of that. I will tell one thing that I thought what was weird as I got older was we had a slop bucket next to the sink, and that was where there was no garbage disposals when I grew up, and we couldn't use them
anyway because we had a septic tank. So if there was like you know, leftover whatever, instead of pouring it down the drain, we poured into We called it literally the slop bucket, and it was a coffee can full of corn cobs or gravy or green beans or crackers or whatever that got scraped off a plate and we would feed it to the chickens because we were hay seeds. Yeah, and we kept a slop bucket on the kitchen counter.
Jenny, I think The only thing I can think of is the fact that we would never flush a toilet if we just peed in it. And I don't think any of my friends did that. It was to save water, and so, like you know, I'd go to other people's places and not always flush because it was just like natural for me not flush.
We had the slop bucket too, Dave, You're really same exactly, well, not at home, but at the farm, back at when I worked at the Kelly farm.
Oh, well for the Kelly farm. Yeah yeah, next email about the squatty potty, And here we go from Sydney. I stand behind the squatty potty and I hate having to poop without one. Wow. I have a kids stool and all three of my bathrooms because that's practical. I don't need a squatty potty. Specifically, she will be surprised how horrible her fifty two years of pooping has been once she introduces this into her routine talking about Jannita,
because what Nita was talking about the squatty potty. Now, my husband is constantly baffled whenever he is at one of my family member's homes because we all believe in the squatty potty. I don't believe he uses ours, even though it's readily available in every bathroom. Public service announcement. People that are not using a squatty potty are missing out great last minute Christmas gift. If you are looking, you're welcome. Enjoy. Oh I like this one. Hello Minnesota
Goodbye crew First, I love the new lineup. Bailey, you are just a delight. I was hoping you'd be a permanent edition. Jenny, You're relatable and so kind. Just a few random things have said out loud during the show, or Minnesota Goodbye. While listening a while back during the lyric shuffle, the word was no know, and Dave sang I know a thing oh two about her, but he couldn't remember the name of the song. I was yelling,
strutter I Kiss. How do I know this as a thirty eight year old mom of two, Well, my five year old son is obsessed with Kiss, so he's every He's got a very long playlist that we listen to in the car, so I can hear their music every damn day. That cracks me up, because you would think a five year old would want to hear like the Wheels on the Bus or Baby sharp or some shit like that. But I'm glad that he's into kiss and
Strutter is such a great song. Also today, Dave said, Travis Kelcey also got Taylor Swift a kiss T shirt for her birthday, and I'm like, hey, my son's getting kissed t shirts for Christmas. Not very interesting to anybody else, but I laugh a little every time kiss is mentioned, since they have now become a part of my everyday life. A few pictures attached if you need to smile. Oh my god, here's our little kid made up as Gene Simmons. Great makeup, by the way, and he's got a little
toy guitar. And then there's another one which won't seem to open. And oh, I don't know. It's the same kid made up as Paul Stanley, the one with a star on his eye. Yeah, and he's even puckering his lips a little bit like Paul Stanley. Those are awesome.
We'll have a big fan. That's cute.
Thank you very much. Oh I love this one. Okay, check this out, Hello, my favorite morning crew. Listening to Friday's podcast, somebody wrote in about art school and how BS art doesn't make it in institutions. I am on the other side of that statement. I went to the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, and those types of art always get high responses. Drove me absolutely nuts. I myself and I am a realistic oil painter. Abstract art is
tough for me. But the thing that people that got people these top grades was they know how to be as the concept and the students and professors would eat that up. There were a couple of classes where I made art that I hated, but it catered to the professor, so I got better grades. Not all of the classes were that way, but it did happen a bunch of times. Talent and ability is not always the key to passing, which is unfortunate anyway, Love you guys, dart Lick all
right and left. Thank you. Kristen.
Yeah, really interesting because like the only thing I have close to that is taking a theater class and it was all acting. And the one time I did a monologue that was supposed to be like humorous, my instructor refused to allow me, like to play it as a humorous monologue. She said it like deep down the person's self conscious and it should be more emotional. So it went from like a funny monologue to a like I'm almost crying in it monologue and that's just not how
I interpreted it. But she didn't like that kind of acting, so I had to completely change it to appease her.
I think that sucks when you have to do it the teacher's way when it's subjective, Like if I was gonna do art in the arts, like, let's say I was really really good at carving sculptures of heads, and the teachers like, that's not what we're looking for. We want something to be more abstract. So I had to go back to my studio and make something that did not look like ahead, like one giant ear attached to an eye, just to appease the teacher. Yeah that bothered me.
Yeah, I feel like that's kind of how you play the game, though not just in art class, but like what is this teacher going to want? And I just have to do whatever the teacher wants, which is dumb.
Teachers are dumb? Am I right? I love teachers, they're dumb. I love that, you know, I'm joking. That is it for the Minnesota goodbye. Love to hear your emails about anything you want to bring up. If you shout random things at the radio during the show, you need to email us. Send your email to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.