Love Is An Open Door

It's the Minnesota Goodbye and the birthday boy decided to dip out early. Just get in. He's just busy trying to do something something or other. It's Jenny Bailly and Vant today, and thank you so much for listening. I just had to listen to Bailey and Vant do a little duet. Would you guys like to give sure Minnesota Goodbye listeners a taste?

All my life has been a series outdoors in my face and then suddenly I bump into you, almost thinking the.

Same thing, because like I've been searching my whole life to find my own place. And maybe it's the party talking or the chocolate fond doom.

But with you, but with you, got my place. I found my place and it's nothing like I've ever known before.

Love isn't open. Love is an open. Love is a much more with you, with you, with you, with you, Love is no opind do or.

Wow, good job. I didn't get to hear from the beginning that first time.

Start in the middle, that was quite in the middle.

Quite to the treat, well.

Would you say quite the word treat?

It was treat. Dave might be on this eventually. He just really is doing something right. Now he's in the studio area, but he is busy, so we just decided to start this. It is his birthday today, and I think I can tell already he's having a much better birthday than last year because last year he went off to Colorado and spent it by himself, and people had asked him ahead of time, like, Yo, aren't you gonna

Immediate regret, yeah, like im and being like yeah, fine.

So I can tell he's having a much better time this time.

I can attest that because you guys got gave me so much ship. For my birthday is in five days, My birtha is in four days. My birthdays in three days. And it's because last year I spent my birth they alone in Iowa, like completely alone. I think I almost had to go to work, but it was like the fair, so it was like not as as fun work as uh being like on air and around people like I have to go to the state Fair to do.

I don't know what scoop poop.

So now I get why Dave is like that, because I felt the same this year. I was like ready to celebrate with people that I semi uh like yeah, and Bailey, well, n you.

Had a much better birthday this year, would you say, yes?

Okay, good, yes, yes I would yes a better birthday? Right, yes, yes I did.

I'm trying to sorry, multitask at the same time and tell that story.

You see, like you were busy transparently, I was stalling. That's what we do sometimes.

I was trying to read through these emails. I just don't know, because you know, some things are specifically addressed to Dave, and I don't want to do anything that's addressed him. So I'm really trying to find one that works for just the three of us to be on it right now. So we'll start with this one just

Yes, same, Maybe.

It's just me, but figured i'd give my feedback. You don't need sound effects either. You guys are engaging enough in good storytellers, and I look forward to your podcast every day. And that comes from Melissa. So one vote against theme songs and sound effect.

Can I tell you why. I think she's not wrong, But it's because you've already done this podcast for our X amount of years without a theme song. But I feel like if you sprang a theme song on somebody first time, like the first episode, they'd be much more in love. You know how many iconic theme songs there are?

Yeah, like, yeah, you're like the king of theme songs. You seriously know, like every single well you know a lot of old ones, but yes, there are a lot of theme songs out there. I can't imagine what ours would be.

It's Dave and Bailey and Jenny, and then there's a little too but I'm not so there's a little space where somebody would be like, oh wait, he's not on.

This, except then once all of us get fired, and then it's not all of us anymore, then the theme song won't make sense anymore. You know, it'll be Dave.

I'm pretty good. Yeah, seriously, Well, here's another one about it. Oh dear God, please don't add sound effects in theme music to the Minnesota Goodbye. I already skip ahead to one point thirty to hear you guys, and skip all the commercials. The music that was on I think it was Dave's podcast was horrible and I just skipped it. It adds nothing to the podcast, just more time to skip. Sorry, I still love you and have listened to the podcast.

I've always wondered why if the show, our show doesn't have a theme song or like a show open or something like you're now listening to.

What we do because except it just plays at like rejoins Dave Ryan in the Morning kd w B meaning up in they Saint Paul. Doesn't that count? How come you don't speak?

When I was waiting for you to say something, I was going to jump in I was.

I don't stupid. I just think it's such an ass to me at any given opportunity.

You just you guys do have probably the most like sibling relationship, which is how Steve and I used to be on the show. We were total siblings. We would fight all the time, but we loved each other so much. And I feel like that's what you are.

Stupid face. Bailey just look at me like, all right, what the hell?

Okay, here's here. We'll move on to another one which I think I missed this conversation last week. It says, good morning gang. I wanted to write in on a topic for discussion. It's a follow up on Bailey's Daily Bailey non sexual turn ons. What's a profession someone has that you think that's all they do, but in reality they do a lot more. Example, my husband is an IT and the stereotype for them are they only know

What the discussion we were talking about non sexual turn ons, so like oh, if they can sing, or if they you know, know how to do the dishes, yeah, or like that's when I said that when you're good at math, then that's hot, Like oh good at math, Like wow, that's hot. So it was all just like things that have nothing to do with the way they look. Yeah. So yeah, like any kind of skills talents.

How about this, How about when you directly tell your partner that this is what would make you happy.

And then they actually do that. Yeah, that was one of them that someone contributed.

That's what listen barely as so listen to me say this all the time. I will legitimately send Andrew memes that are like, all you need to do to make her happy is get her a coffee and take her to like TG max or something to get digor and I will straight up send that to him. It's it's the recipe for happiness for me. And he finally, like a couple of weeks ago, did go give me coffee and it was, well, there's the birthday boy?

What hello there? What did I miss?

Missing you?

We've been talking to Well, here's the quick recap. People do not want a theme song or sound effects on the Minnesota go.

I did that. Yep.

Yeah, so that's one big thing. We're just getting into some non sexual turn ons and how this woman has a husband who works in it and he's actually does all these manly man stuff around the house and that's a huge turn on. To her too. Okay, So we discussed that, and then I had brought up earlier, how I feel like you're already having a better birthday than you did last year, since last year you decided to go to Colorado and spend it by yourself, and you.

Regretted that it was a bad idea because I never had never spent a birthday alone. And I was in Colorado, and Susan said, are you sure you want to be in Colorado on your birthday? And I'm like, yeah, I don't care. It was the fucking biggest downer ever. Yeah, because I didn't spend it with anybody, and uh, and it turns out I didn't want to spend my birthday alone.

Yeah, it was.

It fucking sucked.

It was like my worst adult birthday ever, my worst birthday ever as a child. That was eight and my mom got me a record player, and because I was very spoiled, she got it at Kmart about a month before my birthday. And I'd be like, Mom, I know it's not my birthday. Can I get my record player out and play with it?

Sure?

David, You're a spoiled little asshole, so sure, So I'd get my record player out and then play with it and then put it back in the closet. My birthday rolls around, there's no surprise, there's no joy. The novelty of the record player had kind of worn off a little bit. And so here I am eight years old on my birthday, and I remember. I remember my card. It said I hope you have a birthday that can't be beat and it had a drummer like beating a bass drum and she put a sucker in there, and

I was a little asshole and wanted to have my record.

Cake and eat it too.

Yeah.

My mom, when I was growing up, she would always let me open a Christmas gift. It started off Christmas Eve, but then the day started getting sooner because I was so eager as a kid. You want to be like, oh, let me get the gift, Let me get the gift, and just open one. And then at some point we just started opening all of them, maybe two nights before Christmas. So then Christmas morning came and we're excited. Everybody's how all happy. But I opened everything already.

Yeah, So what do you do?

Yeah?

You just kind just like all right, stare at each other.

Uh and everybody's You're calling your friends and they're like, oh I got this. I got a record player, a CD player, I got X y Z. Would you get I'll be like, oh this gunball Ma Seine I've been playing with for three days.

I'm over, Oh yeah, don't to do that.

Beth, my daughter, who is forty two now, she told me that when she was younger, she had five siblings. Four siblings and they figured out while they were alone in the house how to open the packages and sneak a peek and then take the up. And they said it was so cool until Christmas morning. It sucked because everybody knew what they were going to get, said, even as like a ten year old kid. It sucked, Yeah, because that's part of the joy is like, oh what did I get?

It is my sisters and I, well, my older sister and I would go snooping for Christmas presents a lot of time, and one time we did find some, and I think after that we were like, all right, let's not do this again, because it did take so much away from Christmas morning waking up and seeing things that we already knew what they were. We were like, oh, this is a bummer.

Wow, absolutely, yeah, don't do that all right, Well.

You want to do some emails with us day, then I can I can read them. Okay, So this is hello Dave, Jenny Bailey and font you're on this mont really yeah. He always gets sad that he's on the Minnesota Goodbye. I love listening to your morning show on the Minnesota Goodbye. It makes my mourning. I have some topics that I have not heard on the Minnesota Goobye yet, and maybe these will catch your attention. The first one

I am at five thirty in the morning when there's no one around, so but that's like when there's no one around. If there's people around, then I stop. Yeah, I mean briefly, but I stop. So you're rolling through off But I'm not like, it's not a roll through, it's a stop and then go. It's not like a stop. Look one way, look the other way, and then go. If I'm coming across the stop sign and I see no one is coming, I will stop, but I won't like sit and look both ways like the old fart

The only one I can think of is on Gallpin and chan Hassen, and you can see people coming from either way. There's a big crosswalk and whatever, So I slow down, but probably don't stop all the way.

Yeah, during the day, I am all, he's good at stopping at SOB signs. But yes, driving into work, there's one intersection that there's never a soul at it that I'm like, well, is that the one that you get the ticket?

I don't know.

Yep, I'm not stopping that.

Yeah, that's what I got my ticket for. So did I stop for a while after getting that ticket? Yes? Do I kind of roll through it again?

Maybe?

Maybe not.

I'm not admitting kilts right now.

Jenny got that ticket, she started stopping, cutting.

Her car off yeah, now is anyone coming.

This person goes on to say, recently, one of my acquaintances on Facebook got married. Yay. His new wife's name is Josie, but his sister's name is also Josie. So I asked my husband if I shared the same name as your sister, do you think we would be married? And his immediate response was no, we both think that it's very weird. But it got me thinking, how often does this happen? Would you, Dave, Jenny, and Bailey think it would be weird to marry someone with the same

Right, I feel like you would just end up naming your significant other like a nickname. I literally so. My last boyfriend I called him Boo all the time, to a point where like once I forgot his name because I never used it. So I would just give them a nickname. And then use that for them so that it doesn't seem like you both have the same name, or that did you call you bee?

We were both like you're both boo.

Okay that is and boo no, sorry about it.

I wouldn't mind if if I had a data of a woman that I really love they named Donna, yeah, or Vivian or Sharon or Linda, I wouldn't care. Maybe, oh, that's my sister's name, So what do you want to watch on TV? I would never give it a second thought.

I always wonder about, like Taylor Latner is married to a tailor. That seems weird to me. Like, I don't know if I could marry A Bailey. Yeah, but I would love to marry someone with the last name of Bailey, so I could be Bailey J. Bailey. That's hilarious. Such a good bit.

Good news is Alyssa will never find anybody named vant she leaves me.

But I also agree with Bailey.

I don't Alyssa and every partner I've been with, I make it. It's not a rule, But don't call me vont or Davante or Vontavius. No, if you say that, you say my name. I think you're mad at me. You're a babe or baby or whatever.

We're called Petney strictly, strictly, you don't have real name, No, not at all.

Well, that comes from Christine, So I just want to give her a shout out. And we got your address for a staff writer stick or so Dave will send that over to our lovely secretary Brie and we'll get that out and we'll David sitting.

Can I just mention Dave sitting in Jenny's spot now, because he came in late and he's just like you look like you're in the corner of the classroom and you got a dunce cap on over there. It's also strange because I'm here.

It is a little bit weird. Yeah, it's weird because I'm sitting next to van each other. We're rubbing these Okay.

We'll wrap up with this last email. It says, hey, party people, I have been binge listening to catch up on the Minnesota goodbye. So if these things are too old to talk about it, I get it. But Bailey, I love that you adopted the drain Megan Drainer. Thank you, And if you adopt another one, will you name him drain the Block Johnson.

See a lot of people have been saying that, but I didn't get the block though. I do like that because people have said Dwayne the Rock Johnson, But Dwayne or drain the Block Johnson is funny, funny like that.

Can I tell you a quick trivia name that I heard the other night playing trivia? Yes, John Triviolta, because you got to come up with the trivia team name, yea, and so it was me and Wendy, So we came up with Dandy Dave and Wendy Dandie and because we don't care, me and whatever, we're not that competitive and we don't care. But I thought it was really clever that somebody had John Triviolta. And I know they didn't come up with that, so it probably originated like years ago in Akron or something.

But that was very clever.

My trivia team's name was Mandatory Vaccinations.

Oh that's a good one.

Yeah, and it still is. I mean, they win stuff all the time. I don't go as much anymore.

They were cheating. The table next us was cheating. They were looking on my sheet they were keeping because when you everybody knows you can't cheat. Yeah, don't use your phone. Everybody pulls their phone out and you just kind of trust that they're texting or something. Yeah, but it's so funny because they'll ask a question and if the room goes silent, that means nobody knows it. Yes, but if there's rumblings, well, in.

China they had a wall that so that means that's up.

Yeah, then you know, if there's rumblings, people are getting it. But there were a few where it was like, okay, back in nineteen eighty three, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, silence crickets.

And you know that people are going, fuck, I have no idea.

Yeah, I wonder if the people that are always cheating when you go to trivia listen to this show.

Because it'd be funny.

You called them out every time, so they're listening to they're like, fuck, he's got me agin But there's.

No penalty because nobody and you're never gonna say you're cheating to a table full of strangers, and but they are not. Everybody does. But at the same time, you're doing it for a twenty five dollars gift card.

Some people are greedy, they're just greedy or they want the honor of winning. But I would never feel good about winning based off of cheating.

Some people, I guess don't care.

Yeah, I guess not. Well, this last question is for you, Dave. It says, Dave, you said that if you dug a hole from here to China, it is still one long hole. If you added a few flaps or doors between here and China, would you change your mind to it being two or more holes. I ask this because if you still say that it is one hole, then essentially your mouth and your anus are the same hole, because it is just a long tunnel connected by some Sphinctersus.

Okay, well, I think she answered her own question, and I really will will change my mind on this one. But the passageway between your mouth and your anus is a tunnel. The opening is your hole. Your doctor doesn't say, yeah, you've got a blockage in your hole. They say you got a blockage in your passage, your tunnel, your your handsteine, in your hallway. But they won't say you got a blockage in your hole. This is your hole, your mouth, This is your hole, your asshole. The rest is a passage.

Okay.

See, I would say if there's like doors and flaps in the hole, then it's a hallway.

You know what's a hole? Your mom?

Your mom is quite a hole. Your mom is probably one of my favorite holes.

Dumb you know that damn.

Got him?

Is this what you guys talk about regularly on this podcast? I'll tell you this week you've been putting extra emphasis when you say it's a very inappropriate version of the podcast. And I've never en here, so I'm like, I wonder what they've been talking about.

Is this it?

Yeah, it's not necessarily the most appropriate thing, but I think he's selling it.

Yeah.

When people are like listen and like oh, it just makes me feel like I'm anxious.

This person does sign off, and I just want to give her sign off. She says, all right, no darting or licking two holes sphincter. Say what that's how she signed off. Shout out to her, Well, Dave, happy birthday. The rest of your day you'll have to give us a full report tomorrow on the Minnesota Goodbye of how your evening goes wing.

Do you think you're gonna do you think you're gonna get lucky for your birthday?

That's not the plan.

No, no, yeah, okay.

I feel like that's the only time you've evert vacation and birthdays.

The kiss from earlier that.

Was not necessary. Get them, get them, get them, get tongue, no tongue.

A happy birthday and send emails a Ryan Show at ktew dot com.