Lay the Pipe

And here we go with a Minnesota good bye. Good morning is our first email says good morning, well, good morning. Want to write in and let you know. My baby girl has already won. She had her birthday party last weekend.

She did great.

Now the reason she brings this up is because she sent us. She came to the state Fair and we met her little baby girl last summer. And there's a picture of me holding the baby girl and her name is Christine. The baby I don't know what the baby's name is, but little baby Christine or the baby is. I'm holding the baby and the baby's doing the baby thing where they put their hands on your face. Yeah, they're dirty, little gritty baby little hands, baby little hand.

Yeah.

I bet a lot of moms understand this feeling. But I did not expect to get emotional. At her birthday party. We sat down, gave her her smash cake, saying happy Birthday. She loved the attention, was smiling while singing. Something came over me and I started to get teary eyed. She

Dave.

I would ask, does watching them grow get easier from here? But I already know the answer. It's no, it won't be easier. Hopefully I can keep my tears in after we sing Happy Birthday next year. Haha. Just want to throw it out there to all first time moms this year, you got this, you can do it. You're doing amazing. And to all the alumni moms out there, I admire you, Thank you, and now have a big old glass of

Yeah, and it's a milestone, so it's like, Okay, well what's next kind of thing.

Yeah, and you couldn't.

And it's the same with raising kids, because when you're in the thick of things, you can't ever imagine that one day and you know it'll come where your kids are grown and they're out of the house and you know it's coming, and you try to Like I remember when Carson was little, I knew he was my last one, and I remember specifically sitting into the kitchen going, I want to hang on to this moment because there he was doing something next to me, like building legos or whatever,

Yeah, because it.

Wasn't happy for me, But then I realized it's not about me, It's about him.

Right.

Oh man, I'm telling you, if I ever become a parent, I'm going to struggle so much with milestones and stuff like that because I'm such a nostalgic person. When we were seniors in high school, there was a group of us that ran our school store because we were selected from the Decca class, and I would get emotional, like months leading up, like this is so sad. These are our final days in high school. Like we're all going

That'll be yare hard. It is hard, but there's also a lot of lasts. So during Carson's senior year, I was like, this is his last Christmas concert, this is his last spring break, this is his last whatever it is.

Yeah, that would be rough.

Well, you never know, Carson might come home at some point. Yeah, my younger sister's living at home right now.

I had a sister that moved back to my mom and dad's house, probably six or eight times. She would move out and then she would move back. I think she was probably even like forty ish years old. Yeah, and still off and on living at mom and dad's house.

I mean, my mom would love it if I moved back in just so she would have someone to hang out with. Yeah, yeah, I will not.

But if you move back in, I know you won't of course. But if you move back in because you were broken, lazy and played video games all day in the basement, she would not like you. But if you move back in because Mom, I just miss you and love you so much, and you're successful, and maybe it's a different story. Okay, next one, Dave Jenny Bailey Vant. But we were talking the other day about when somebody is like sick or had a miscarriage, what do you say to them? What do you not say to them?

Yeah?

So you're offering instead of because now you're saying something specific.

Yes, yeah, so your friend doesn't feel weird like going, hey, Samantha's got basketball?

Can you pick her up?

Right? Exactly? Something specific is going to make it to where the people don't have to make decision themselves, because if they have to make it themselves, I'll probably be like, oh no, I don't need any help. It's fine. If you say can I help you, they'll be like no versus when can I do this? And you kind of give them no option.

When I was younger, I learned that when somebody dies, like if your spouse dies or something that, or somebody dies in your family or your household, God forbid, that people would bring buy food, bring by cast roles, bring by pizza, And I always thought, why why can't they make their own fucking cast role? Then I realized, as I got older and more mature, that that's the last thing that you want to do is on your mind.

Shout out Dan. I have the license plate sign he made for me hanging up in our basement, says Jenny. Jenny in the morning, zoo adorable.

Okay.

So then the last thing, because we're out of emails, So the last thing we're going to talk about is something I was discussing with Bailey earlier and that I forget how we got into this, but it was like, how young is too young for me to date? I'm not dating anybody. I'm happily married. I'm married.

I'm married.

Okay, what now, Well I've been happily.

Married for eighteen years, yeah, but married for twenty five begin So we were just kind of joking around and saying, okay, and I'm giving Bailey a hard time. I'm like, oh, well, here's the rule. A guy should be able to date somebody half his age plus seven. For me, that would be thirty eight years old. So I could, at my day age date a thirty eight year old woman.

No, why not?

Because that's way too young. That's younger than your some of your children, So why not?

Cares?

No, that's too young.

I do think that rules should be that they have the woman has to be older than your your oldest child.

What does my kids have to do with anything?

I just think it's weird to date someone who could have well was maybe a fetus when your child was in diapers already.

Okay, now let's let's do let's do let's do your your situation, Jenny. So let's do a little bit of backwards math. So you're thirty four minus seven would take you down to twenty seven. Double twenty seven would be fifty four. Would you date a fifty four year old guy.

At this point in my life? Maybe if you would have asked me, like in my twenties, and oh I wouldn't have at this point. If I was single and the person and I have a connection, then yeah, I maybe consider it.

Fifty four is so old. If you're old enough to be my dad, I'm not interested in dating you.

You would old enough barely feel that he'd be barely old enough to be your dad.

I mean if he had me at twenty yeah, barely still still like, what if he had you at fifteen?

He had you at fifteen fifteen, so now you're boy, Now he's forty six or so.

See, I feel like that's that's different because yes, he's old enough to be my dad, but it's when he was still a kid himself. But he was if he was an adult and old enough to be my dad, then No.

When I was twenty three, I went home with some guy who was I think forty at the time. Uh met him at a bar in Uptown. Went home whatever, beautiful Lake of the Isles house.

Nice.

It wasn't his house. He was off friends citty in but he was really awesome and nice and respectful and attractive. I mean, he was forty.

Laying the pipe? Could he lay the pipe?

We didn't. We didn't go that far.

Okay, gotcha?

But he and so I think, thanks.

For letting me use the term later like that.

Yeah, but so, but I thought, like in my head it was kind of a mental game of like was that kind of fucking weird? Like he's significantly older than me? And then I was like no, Like we chatted at the bar, had like great conversation, went home, hung out. His buddy was with us. It wasn't like that, but like we hung out and made food and then I like made out with him at the end of the night. That was like the end of it.

But no, that's that's cool.

And it didn't you know, didn't turn into anything, but you weren't grossed out and you didn't go, God, he's old enough to beat my dad. Let's take it and turn it around the other way. Forty year old woman goes down with a what twenty three year old? Yeah, twenty three year old guy. Would you look at her and go, oh, that's gross. Let's say a fifty year old woman goes out with a twenty three year old guy. I feel like, is that gross?

I feel like I don't think it's gross. I think it works equal ways. But I think society would say that that woman's desperate was just kind of sad and fucked up.

What the older woman's desperate? Yeah, oh, I think she's living her best life. But she's going out and get some of that young pipe pipe, Let her have a good time.

I see her as desperate at all.

I am saying I don't see her as desperate. I think that society can make women seem more desperate, though, when they're dating young people.

I don't know. I will tell you this. When I was twenty four, I dated a woman who was forty four, but she was hot. Experience and she played Nintendo. She played Bubble Bubble, and so we kind of hit it off. She was funny. But here's the interesting thing. She had children older than me because she was from the South, and she got married when she was like fourteen and had kids when she was fifteen. So I went over to her house one time and her kids were there.

Dave, No, it's awkward.

And it was really awkward. But then they realized that I was, you know, pretty normal guy, and they thought I was fine, and they're probably like, get it, get it, mom, did it?

Get it?

My grandpa ended up marrying a woman who was thirty six years younger than him. Thirty six yep, really awkward. And my mom just hated it because she was like ten, if not fifteen, years younger than my mom.

Wow, what happened with her?

Well, they were married for a long they were married. Then they were married for a long time. She this is wild. She ended up having a baby, definitely with another man, but my grandpa thought it was his.

Oh yes, how did you know it was another man?

Because it was half black and a white Man. Yeah. Wow, wow, Yeah, pretty exciting, pretty wild on that side of the Fanmily.

So what happened after she had the baby?

They he like stuck around because he thought it was his child, and so she kind of used him as like free child care because he was old, so he wasn't working or anything. And then they like moved all around. He ended up moving back here for a while, like we convinced him to move back here. He lived with my mom for a while, but then he ended up going back to where his quote unquote kid was and died in California with his by by his kid and by his ex wife because they had gotten a divorced

Did that kid grow up thinking that was his dad?

I don't think so.

Okay, I don't know.

At some point you probably had to realize.

Yeah, maybe I'm not really sure the details because I wasn't like there and I never met that kid.

So what does that kid to you? Is that a cousin? No, No, it.

Would technically be ant, but no blood relation.

So zero blood relation.

But right, if it had actually been my grandpa's kid, then technically I would have an aunt that's like twenty yeah.

Now, oh wow, yeah, Okay, that's weird. If you got any stories about weird things in your family, send it to us. And you know, I don't know. There's always been like a little bit of an inkling that I was not my dad's kid. Because the funny thing is, I'm twenty percent Asian. I look a lot like my mom, nothing like my siblings, but I do look a little like my dad. So Susan likes to joke like, yeah, your mom was like definitely sleeping with somebody else beside