It's Gonna Smell Like Pig S*** - podcast episode cover

It's Gonna Smell Like Pig S***

Dec 20, 202316 min
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Episode description

A disturbing would you rather, how do you picture jello in the Grand Canyon, Dave's favorite parody songs, and more!

Transcript

Minnesota. Goodbye, welcome back, Jenny, thank you for being here. You're on the good microphone. So well. I think we fixed We were supposed to fix this one. The engineers came in and worked with mine. Seems to be working, okay. I'm looking at the waveform as you speak, and it seems to be working. Okay. Nobody cares about that. Let's move on to things that people do care about, and here we go. Alli writes in my friend asked me this the other day, and I

figured it was perfect for you all. If there was a freaky Friday moment and your mom and dad and your partner switched bodies, mom or dad and your partner switched bodies and you had to have sex with one of them to get back to normal. Would you rather have sex with your parents' body but your partner's mind, or have sex with your partner's body and your parent's mind. I don't like either of these. The good news is you don't have to do either. So that's that's the good news. Is I mean?

I mean, in reality, I would definitely have sex with my parents' body but Susan's mind, because there's no way that I would have sex with Susan's body and my mom's mind in there with no way that would be so I would definitely do Yeah, I know, Jenny, but at least it be Susan, and I'd be explaining, like I have to do this Susan to get things back to normal. I just, man, I don't think I

could do it. I think I'm on the other side of things. I think I would still stick with my boyfriend Andrew's body and as fortunately Dad's mind, because hopefully Dad'll just fall asleep yep, and he won't be present and I will just I feel like I could never ever ever look at my dad's body the same. I would know too much about it at that point, once everything switched back, it just would be too hard to Yeah, I can't. I don't want to do either. I'm not doing either. No,

you've got to do one. No, and I trust me. There. It's an ally from Berkeley, California. Thank you for a horrible question, something to think about. There is no good answer. There's just one that's less awful. Did you see mom and dad naked often when you were a kid or at all? Jenny es not often, Probably up until I was like maybe eight nine, ten, Yeah, probably like going in and

out of the shower. But once I got to teenage years, I think there was a little more privacy from everyone in the house, you know. So I mean yeah, and I mean I showered with my mom as a little kid, so I feel like, oh yeah, okay, sure, yeah, So I feel like that was something that I saw my mom. I definitely saw my mom more often than my dad. Okay, I saw my mom a couple of times. I had four sisters, so I would

see them naked, like once in a while. My sister Vivian, who was always my favorite sister and has nothing to do with it, she didn't care. Yeah, if I was like five years old, then she was like fourteen or eighteen years old, whatever she was, she didn't care. Yeah, and I didn't care either. I remember, though, the first naked man that I saw, I'll never forget it. We were in a swimming class at the Air Force Academy, because we live right by the Air

Force Academy, so that's where we went swimming class. And after class, you know, the boys would very discreetly and shyly chain they dry off and put their pants back on, and you'd try not to be naked in front

of your buddies and because you were embarrassed or whatever. And I remember there was a full grown cadet, probably twenty twenty two years old, taking a shower, standing there naked, with the hairy body parts and everything, and all the boys were standing there going because none of us had ever seen like a full grown naked man before, and we thought it was funny in the same way that you think of fart is funny when you're eight years old.

And so we stood there and laughed. And I remember thinking, this poor man, I didn't think of it the same at the time, but I think now it's like this poor man must have felt so stupid standing there trying to take a shower while all these eight year old six year old boys going. Probably, but he also probably realize you guys are young kids, and it's like they're seeing a naked man. Right. Yes, I can still picture that in my mind. Okay, Next one, Thank you, Ali,

appreciate that one. I'd love to know how you found us all the way in Berkeley, California. Next one, Amanda writes in Longtime Listener, has anybody brought to your attention that there are so many commercials while streaming the show. It'll be a minute and a half of commercials, then the show

starts back up, then more commercials in two minutes. Not sure if something's wrong with it, Please help h I just wrote to the boss, the bigger boss and the big regional boss, and I copied your email, Amanda, because it is a problem, and I don't understand why it's something that is an audio company that they can't take care of. Yeah, here's another one. It says no name, please, not one to complain. I know it's such a ridiculous complain in the grand scheme of things, but holy

hell. The commercials on the Pot podcast continue to get worse and worse. On the twelve nineteen podcast, during the six am hour, after a commercial kicked off the show for the first thirty seconds, Dave went into talking about

Susan and her checkup. After about two minutes and the middle of the story, a minute long ad kicked in. During the seven o'clock hour, around the twenty three minute mark, there was a sudden minute long commercial, followed by ten seconds of dialogue, then another one and a half minutes of commercials. Wow. Not to mention the random commercials that pop up during Christmas wish, which completely ruins the vibe of what is happening. I know it's not

an issue with you three, but it's insane how bad it's gotten. Not to mention this cannot be helping the advertisers, and commercials like these only hurt the brands that are being promoted. I have no interest in listening to the commercials nor considering the brands they sell. I imagine that others have issues too. Honestly, if this gets you on a rant about iHeart I love it.

But it's so annoying to see this company spend crazy amounts of some money on celebrities and cells, but they cannot fix the simple thing that draws people to the platform, the listener experience. I could not have said it any better myself. Yeah, how can an audio company that is the number one audio company in the world not figure this out? Or that there's somebody who's

organizing and running this that doesn't give a shit about the listener experience. And I think that's one thing that we are always conscious of is making it a good experience. Like if I IF I, if I'm the president of Southwest Airlines and I'm like Okay, we're gonna get you there safely from point to point, but we're gonna have We're gonna carry a bunch of live pigs in the back of the airplane. It's gonna smell like pig shit. You're gonna

have to listen to the pig squealing and oinking the entire time. You can't get to the bathroom because there's pigs back there, but it smells like pig shit. And uh, but you know what it'd be like, why would I fly on Southwest anymore? Because even though they get me there safely, I don't want to fly in a plane full of pigs. Yeah, and it's like that's that's part of the experience. Yeah. I wish that we

had a fix it all. I wish it was truly like our fault at this point that like me or Drake is like fucking up and it's our fault because then we know how to fix it. But unfortunately, like it's above us, and yes, we forward these emails on but it doesn't seem to be fixed ever. This is kind of ties together. We had a presentation yesterday from a new senior vice president or something, and she was really wonderful

and very impressive. And she was talking about how audio has more of an impact in your mind because when you hear audio, you paint a picture in your mind. So when you watch TV or watch streaming, or you're watching your phone or whatever, you don't form a picture in your mind because the picture is already there. It's kind of like when you read a book and you get a mental picture. So audio creates a picture. So she gave us this challenge, Jello in the Grand Canyon. Think about it for a

second. Jello in the Grand Canyon. Yep, what are you picturing? When I say Jello in the Grand Canyon? And she went around the room and pointed to different random people on the staff yesterday and said, Jello in the Grand Canyon. And I was hoping that she would call on me, but she didn't. And the first person she called on is like, I don't know, and she's like, well, you gotta be picturing something. What are you picturing? So, Jenny, Jello in the Grand Canyon.

It will conjure up an image in your mind. What is it conjuring up? My first image was a mold of jello, a circular mold with a hole in the middle. Sure, okay, so that's like one plate of that sitting in the vastness of the Grand Canyon. And then my brain started thinking, no, what if it's like a pool of jello of a bunch of cubes that actually take up the entire thing. So I went in like two different directions fascinating. Yes, seriously, mine was what color is?

Your jello? Was blue? Okay, blue jello? It was blue with the mole that was red with the pool of it. Okay, mine was green jello filling the Grand Canyon up to the rim with banana slices in it. Oh, okay, that's what mine was, she said. Hers was red cubed jello filling up the Grand Canyon. And other people had answers like, you know it was halfway full and what color whatever. So you don't have to write in about this one, but if you want to when you're

looking for something to write in about, let us know. When I say jello in the Grand Canyon, what image does it conjure up in your mind? Yeah? And the point is audio is very powerful in that you are responsible your brain comes up with you don't even probably think about it. Your brain will conjure up an image. So if you say Jello in the Grand Canyon or a spooky spooky house, what does it conjure up? You don't

have to answer that one. But if you're hearing a podcast and they say it was such a spooky house, it was the creepiest house I've ever been into, well, what is that conjure up? So anyway, I thought that was really interesting. All right, thank you for that one. I will push delete on that one so I won't read it again. Next one. Hello, Since listeners are doing amazing old school request songs, I was wonder if you guys could locate I Want a Pack of Marble Lights for Christmas.

My coworker and I always look forward to this song during the Christmas season. Sincerely, the one who danced to blame Jared at her wedding reception, that is Stephanie. Is there a song called I Want a Pack of Marbor Lights for Christmas? I wonder if it was one that I wrote that I write today. I feel like it was maybe one of your old ones. I don't know that I know that one. It's definitely was way before my time. But how do you spell Marlboro m A R lbo R. Yeah?

That's when I'm typing in and I'm not kidding. I think I wrote that song myself back in the nineties and I don't remember it. Yeah, I want to pack Marble lights for Christmas. Only a pack of Arboro lights will do at eight eight eight. That sounds like something that I would have written. Isn't it awful that if I wrote that song, I don't remember it. I know, but you do. You create a new show every

single day of content. You're allowed to forget things. You know. What I worry about sometimes is, you know, we'll come up with a really good idea and we'll do it, and I'll go, like, Jenny, that was really that worked out really well, and then I worry that we won't keep track of it, and then we'll never do it again. I usually when we do something that works out really well, I put it into So this is my organizational system. I put it into Google Calendar on a

monthly basis, on like a Sunday. That's where my miscellaneous things sit on a Sunday, and then I like go back to it. So one of them that we haven't done in a little while, but I see come up monthly as like how what was it. I think it's like, how do you know Dave Brian or how did you meet Dave Bryan or something like that, because we got really good stories and it went super well. But then another one is I don't want to go, Like Dave Brian's I don't want

to go. That's always a fun one. We do that every right right right right now, my cousin's third part whatever it is, Yeah, I don't want to go. So yeah, I try to. I try my best to keep track of everything once we say, oh, that was a good one in a somewhat organized format. Yeah, And that's because we come up with the ideas and sometimes they go well, and sometimes we go, huh, well, we don't need to do that one again, And Jenny will say should I save that to replay later? Or should even say?

We don't want to replay that, do we? And I'm like, nope, we do not. I think my two proudest parody songs ever were the Hollister Song because it worked out really well and Alison sang and she did it great, and she was fifteen or so when she did it, so she sounded like the Hollister demo, and you know, it's totally dated now because

kids don't shop at Hollister anymore. But you know, people around Jenny's age thirty one, thirty two thirty three, they did shop lived for Hollister, Hollister and Abergromi and limited to but that kind of away before Hollister and Abercromby. I was really happy with the way that one came out. Was the

biggest parody song. We used to keep track of requests with a basically a pen and paper and make tally marks, and I think one day back when people call the radio station request lines constantly, we got over fifteen hundred requests in one day. It was like, Hello, hello, Kata would be Hi, can you play Hollister? Yeah? Sure, will Hi katab Can you play Hollister? Yep. The other one was the Fallons fight song from her school because it just turned out really funny and I still know every word.

Hey you guys, but down your Smokeshoe guys, be down your beer. I won't sing the whole song, but that's probably my second favorite parody song. I don't remember a pack of Marlboro lights for Christmas. You've done so many so I don't know. Obviously, before I was on the show. But also I feel like an honorable mention needs to go to p because even though Fallon's sang that one to Taylor, supposed to me, you wrote that and that one was so good. Thank you. Yeah. I like

that one too. It didn't get as big as like some other ones, but yeah it was. It was a good one. Thank you. Jenny hit delete on that one. Here we go, Dave Ryan Team. I recently took a two week vacationed to Thailand. Shout out to Jenny for answering a couple of my questions where I went. My friend and I had a wonderful time, but there were two instances where there were very unruly children that interrupted our relaxation time. The first we were at a floating luxury resort in

cow Sack National Park. You could actually feel your room floating in the water. Very small, very beautiful resort, but the water is fifty to eighty or fifty to eighty meters deep, so I'm not sure if it's kid friendly. The kids, every evening until bedtime were so loud we could hear everything through the walls. We could hear him bouncing around and throwing toys. We

almost complained but decided to try to ignore it. A few days later, we went to a beautiful Marriott resort in Pouquette, Yep, Okay, and we were at the pool, which again not a kid friendly pool. There was one particular child amongst a few that scream for about two hours, the kind of scream where children is so excited they can't contain themselves and they turn into demons. I just couldn't believe the mother was blatantly across the other side

of the pool sunbathing. Is this just a new normal? Is there a compromise when it comes to kids. I'd like to think it's understandable when kids get overly excited and loud, but it's not there. Is it not the responsibility of the parent to teach their children how to behave in public? Jenny, I do think it's their responsibility, But I feel like it's hard for me to answer this. I'm not a parent. I don't know how I would handle these situations as a parent. I want to go on a vacation,

I take my kid to the Marriott. Marriott. I can't control if they have a two hour tantrum, but I know that you can control like it being in a public space. You know. I was at the airport the other day and just waiting in Denver for the plane to board, and somebody had a couple of kids, like five years old, a boy and a girl running around the rows of seats, screaming and yelling and screaming and

yelling, and I thought, it's not bothering me that much. You know, it's the holidays, and they're excited and their kids and they're traveling. But I thought a good parent would be like, hey, come on, you kids, please stop right now, right instead of just letting them run wild. But you know, that's me. That's it. We're out of time for the Minnesota Goodbye Emails. Ryan's show at kadiwb dot com. Jello in the Grand Canyon

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