It Burns - podcast episode cover

It Burns

Jul 17, 202312 min
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Episode description

Dave and Falen read an embarrassing story, how to stay motivation and more!

Transcript

We have a bunch of emails for the Minnesota Goodbye. I think Jenny and I struggled through three maybe two emails on Friday and we found out the things to talk about. But emails were always the heart of the Minnesota Goodbye. So thank you for your emails. To Ryan Show at katiebbe dot com. Embarrassing story for you to read. I listened to Minnesota Goodbye on Saturday mornings because you're not live and that sucks. In here we go, Hi to

the pandemic. I'm a mail carrier. I couldn't go into any businesses on my route due to restrictions because of COVID. I had pooped that morning at work, and I guess I needed a rewipe. I was itchy, she says. I had nowhere to stop to rewipe because even the porta potty wasn't out. So I thought, hmmm, how can I stop this itching? I only got one tissue. PS. I only carry so much extra stuff. Oh, I carry so much extra stuff with me now? Oh well,

I had hand sanitizer. Now it's supposed to be like washing and removed germs. I had one cleanex in one small bottle of cinnamon scented hand sanitizer, so I squeezed a small amount on the clean X proceeded to go in the back of the truck and wipe from behind to alleviate the itching. Ah how that feels gray ha ha Oh fucking no, it fucking burns. It burns like the dickens. Fuck fuck fuck. I have nothing to wipe it up with, and yet, says an alcohol based sanitizer, I just put

on my buttole Holy Marry, Mother of God. I've never had to sit in such an uncomfortable seat for the next four hours to finish delivering mail. Clenching doesn't help, water didn't help. And guess what, these mail truck seats stay very warm. Oh my gosh, I've been nine months pregnant delivering. I've been four weeks post surgery delivering, and this was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. So, in conclusion, hand sanitizer isn't for your

butthole. Yeah, I mean, thank you, Becky. That was an amazing story. I'm gonna call the episode it burns. Okay, good idea, she goes love You sucked, Dave. We did a bit last week where we called it Dave's camping corner, and I don't know how we came up with it, but it was just one of those like weird things that strangely worked. And so people would call in. I'd say, hey, call us up, you're gonna go camping. I'm a camper, I know

all about this stuff. Call me up and let me know you're camping questions. So every call was Drake disguising his voice going yeah, I'm going camping this weekend. I just wanted you suck, and I'd be like, well that didn't work out, though, I'm sorry that was embarrassing. Was that plan? Oh totally, I know. I'm just kidding. No, this is why. Because I had a boring idea and you made it funny.

That's what happened, because mine was genuine. I said that we should do Dave's camping horner and people will call in, oh that's right, okay, and get tips from you. And then I said it could be funny to have one you give bad advice to one person, and you said no,

we should have someone say you sucked, Dave. And so Drake did a great job and he everything was like, yeah, I just wonder we're going to know this weekend when you build a fire, I wondered if you suck, and I'd be like, well that, and then we did it because we'd like to do things kind of like on Family Guy, where you run it into the ground where it should have stopped, but Peter will keep doing

the same thing for forty seconds because it's so funny. So thank you, And then White she says you suck, Dave, or maybe she just thinks I suck. I'm not really sure. Next one, Tina says, want to thank you all for being such amazing humans. You make my day's fabulous. This is a comment on the how to stay or be motivated to work out. Jenny and I had a discussion I think on Thursday or Friday, because Jenny goes to the gym every day. I said, I like going,

but I don't want to go the rest of my life. So at one point I'm gonna have to tell my trainer I'm not coming back, and she's like, now, you really should go the rest of your life. I plan to go the rest of my life. And I said, how do you stay motivated? And so anyway, they go on to say motivation comes from comes and goes even when fitness is literally your livelihood. The first step is action. With action is going to come results, and results is

going to come motivation. Also, I remind my clients constantly that we exercise for health, to get strong and have a healthy cardiovascular system. Fat loss success is going to come from your diet. If you're eating in a surplus, you're going to gain weight. Even with exercise, you need to be in a calorie deficit for fat loss. It sounds easy on paper, but in reality it's tough as shit. I promise you though, if you keep

going, you're going to feel amazing. She is a certified NASM Personal Trainer, Women's Fitness Specialist, weight Loss Specialist, Group Personal Trainer Specialist, Youth Exercise Specialist, and work Out twenty four seven fitness facility manager. Okay, so that's Tina, So she knows what she's talking about. I don't know what you guys talked about. The one thing I've seen is or someone posts before, which is actually a Bobby Bones. I think he's pretty. I

don't know. I think he's into health and fitness. But people will always ask me it as one of those Q and A things, how do I stay motivated? Because he He's like, I'm not. It's disciplined. There's not there's a difference. It's just that I'm not motivated necessarily. It's discipline. But whatever it is, it works because some of us don't have either, you know I have. I don't know. I mean, I don't look forward to going to work out now, but once I get there,

it's a good experience. I won't say it's a great experience because I don't like the pain and the sweating and like, you know, you're doing these different things and you know, like I don't know, lifting heavy weights with one arm, and it's like I don't like it, But when you leave, you go, I'm really glad that I did that, and plus I feel a lot better since I've done it. All. Right, next one,

Okay, that one we did. Let's go here, I Dave, I heard you mention that video with Nicole Kidman that plays before the movies at the theater. Do you know this one? Yep? Okay, Well, at the Oscars, Jimmy Kimmel made fun of her for saying for it. He said, thanks Nicole Kidman for reminding us to go to the movies the movie theater while we are at the movie theater. I' pretty sure they've done an SNL comedy skita. They really, I'm pretty sure. I'm gonna have

to look that up. I just think it's stupid because it's just so miscast and she's so elegant wearing a sparkly outfit to go to the movie theater, and it's just it's, I don't know, just overly dramatic, badly badly cast. Okay, heard you talking about Jenny's neighbors. Well, my brother in law has an older neighbor also. He doesn't live next to him, but the guy lives across from his backyard. One time, my brother in law said hi, and the guy said, well, let's see you guys

are partying again, kind of like in a snarky way. We were just having a few beers in barbecuing. I guess the story was jenny neighborhood her jump roping on the deck and said, so you're getting pretty good at that or something like that. Right, So yeah, okay, I will say Jenny at least only does that like twenty minutes a day, and it's like in the middle of the Day's not like it's at two am. Because I can see that being annoying. Totally. Yeah, it was like longer.

Jessica says, listening to Minnesota Goodbye, you're talking about celebrities that you want to be friends with, and Jenny said Orlando Bloom. I had to write in because my email in high school was dining with Orlando at Yahoo dot com. And I was so in love with Orlando Bloom and I thought I was so clever. Now looking back at it, it is so lame. Glad to know somebody else shares my love of Orlando Bloom. Also, I would love to be friends with Will Smith, Chris Hemsworth and Zac Efron, or

maybe I just want to look at them. You guys are the best. From Jessica Funny, Orlando Bloom is a great name. Orlando Bloom, Yeah, good, and this kind of like Quentin Tarantino or Billie Eilish. It's a great name. You know what He's realized then because they he had a daughter with Katy Perry and her name's Daisy. That means her name is Daisy Bloom, which is a great name out Okay, well that was kind of for off the air. They want to build buy Carson's baseball cards. This

one Happy Friday. We finally made it, wrote Alyssa on Friday. I just gotta say I got a huge smile on my face when Dave said yesterday that he likes canned oysters. Growing up, our family tradition was making homemade pieces with canned smoked oysters as a topping, so good. I always made my friends try it once before they judge when we'd have homemade pizza at home. So far, no one has embraced it like me and my parents have l ol. Dave, give it a try, you'll thank me later.

We also have served canned smoked oysters as an app on Christmas Eve, nonnam. It is definitely one of those foods, whether you love it or hate it. I get it for all those food haters out there. Wasn't that kind of like a I think Steve Lettarte did that like his family did canned oyster, like some kind of like appetizer for Christmas or a holiday or something. Possibly it is one of those things where I love them, but I

don't have them right Italy, because I mean I just don't. Okay, next one, hold on, I know you're low on email, says Brianna. So I thought i'd email and ask advice, since I can't be the only person having this problem. How do you write, Oh, this is good? How do you write a maid of honor speech if you're not a huge fan of the fiance or don't really know the fiance. I am the

maid of honor from my best friend of eighteen years. We're thirty two, by the way, so we have been through almost all life events together. She met him two years ago, and every time we hang out he's not there. So, in other words, he doesn't show up, or if he is there, maybe five words the entire time. I try to engage with him, but he doesn't care or doesn't try. He treats her well, that's not the issue. But I guess I'm looking for advice on what

to say about him as a person in my speech. Since I don't know much about him, not giving the speech is not an option. I appreciate all you guys do, and I listened daily from Brianna. What do you

think? Oh, I have no idea. I think you just well, I think it's the maid of honor speech, so you're mostly talking about her, yep, So you focus it on her, and then at the end when you do your nice wrap up or like midway through, like I was so happy for my friend when she found so and so because I see that he treats her well because you said that, so you find that to be true, and you make up some stuff like she's happier than I've ever seen

her bsbsbs or truth truth truth, and it's not about your personal relationship. The Maid of Honor speech is mostly about her wrapping up with them, same for best man is mostly about him wrapping up with them. Well, I think you could even possibly work in the idea that he's quiet, because if he's quiet with you, then he's probably quiet with everyone. And you could make it a joke like you know what, he's very quiet, as long as he's not insecure about that. Well, you don't know, maybe you

can ask about that. I don't know. I'm just trying to think of if you want to say something. I think Fallon's right, it's about the Maid of Honor, about her, not about him. But I think if you wanted to bring him up, you could say he's very quiet, which is great because she talks all the time, or something like that. That kind of, like you know, makes a little bit of a dig at like a funny dig at her, and I don't know, maybe work in

the fact that he's quiet, but ask her about it. But I think that you can just ignore him for the most part and make it about her and just say, oh, he she finally found the one that's special or whatever. Blah blah blah. Okay, that is it. That is going to do it for the Minnesota goodbye today. And if you've got a Minnesota Goodbye email, please send it to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.

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