I shipped my pants last night. Do you want to hear the story? Do you want to hear the story? Okay, So here's the story. I had to take my car to the shop and then it was a night drop. So you fill out the form, you put your key in the box, and you drop it through the slot. Forgot to lock my car. Golf clubs in the trunk, like nice golf clubs, and it's like, sits there in the lot overnight. It's not locked up gated. So I went back after the boy Scout cookoff with my spare
key batteries dead, so I could not lock. So I'm like, I know there's a way to lock the car. So I'm sitting there in the empty parking lot. I got my running car over here, my car over here, and I'm looking through the owner's man, Oh god, I gotta go. Oh god. And there's nowhere around. Yeah, there's nowhere around. And so I'm like, what do I do? Oh God, I'm not. I said, there's no way I'm going to make it the five to ten minute drive home.
Oh no.
So I found some napkins in the back of my car and I ran over into some weeds and trees. There was nobody around.
No, you did it.
I did, and I ran over in the weeds and trees. There's nobody around. I was going to do it right there between the cars, but then I thought, well, not in the pavement the ground. No, and there's probably security cameras. I went between the reeds and the trees and I did my thing right there on the ground. Now, it's not a place where anybody would ever go. It's like, you know, you think of a weedy tree area that nobody ever goes into.
No one even goes in there with like the lawnmower.
Never, no, no, no. So I was fine, and I did my thing with the napkins, threw them in the dumpster. Oh god, and it was awful. I go home and I tell my wife this story. Yeah, she is howling with laughter. How Susan doesn't have the best sense of humor, but anything about poop she will die. So I'm like, I'm going upstairs and going to take a shower. So there's my story. I shipped my pants last night. I'm glad you laught so sorry.
I just oh no, I was concerned I was gonna ship my pants last night because I ate my leftover salad from Thursday night last week. I had put it out on the counter to bring it into work on Friday to eat it for lunch.
And we were worried that it sat on the.
Counter and it was bad, right, so it cause it sauted on the counter for like four and a half hours, and I raced home after the show to go put it back in my fridge. And last night I was like, I'm going to risk it. I'm going to eat it. And I didn't necessarily get sick. I got like a little kind of thing, but I think it was just my brain making me sick because I was I was convinced I was going to get well.
By that time. Thursday was the salad, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, then Monday night. So it had third Friday, Saturday Sunday.
Four or five days or four days ago, four days ago plus four hours sitting out on the counter.
Yeah, but I didn't get sick.
You didn't get sick. You just kind of mentally thought you might.
Yeah, And so I made myself a little bit sick, but I was fine. And I think I wonder if I have like a pretty strong stomach. Because Jenny also gets mad at me because I eat yogurt that has like mold on the outside of the container, but it's yogurt.
Yogurt is moldy, Like yogurt is not moldy, but you know it's like fermented on purpose.
Yeah. Now, there is a kmart commercial that goes way back and it's talking about how you can get your pants shipped to you.
Yeah.
So I'm going to play this commercial for you. And what they're saying is, wait, I shipped my pants. So they shipped my pants. But it is when you listen to it. I'm gonna play it for you, it sounds like they're saying, I shipped my pants. Are you ready? Yeah, okay, let me play this for you. Here we go, ship my pants right here?
Ship my pants.
You're kidding? You can ship your pants right here? You hear that I can ship my pants for free?
Wow? I just may ship my pants.
Yeah, ship your pants, Billy, you can ship your pants too.
I can't wait to ship my pants. Dad. I just shipped my pants and it's very convenient, very convenient. I just shipped my drawers. I just shipped my nightie.
I just shipped. If you can't find what you're looking for in store, We'll find it at Kimar dot com right now and ship it to you for free.
Man, I shipped my pants.
They went out of business with that. That's perfect.
I missed k Mart.
I like that. They threw in the pee like a little bit more pronounced.
Some of those did. Like with my pants. I shipped my pants, my pants.
Pants shipped them from home.
Yeah, so you can call this episode I shipped my pants, shipped my pants. I shipped my pants.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, let's get on with the emails here on the Minnesota Goodbye, let's get started. Good morning, says Aubrey. Today on the show, Dave and Bailey talked about what kind of dog Dave should get, and Bailey said, get a Golden Retriever. Yes. I got a Golden Retriever puppy at eight weeks old, and she is so much work and she's already seventeen pounds at eleven weeks old. I would not recommend a Golden if you don't want a
big dog. They're beautiful dogs. They're very, very popular, but that's a little bit bigger than I would want.
Yeah, they're pretty sizable.
Yeah, but I think the one that I'm looking at. Bernard is also going to be kind of big. He's not going to I think he's two, and I want to say, he's forty pounds.
I feel like when they're two, they're fully grown.
They are Oh they are, ye for sure. Yeah, So he's not going to be a giant dog.
He's only forty pounds. Yeah, so he's not that big.
No, I think he's doable. I want to meet him. Yeah. And the woman who runs the Mars agency, Mars Agency, her name is Ae Me and she was listening to the show or heard about it, and so she emailed me last night and said, Hey, heard you talking about Bernard. Loved to get you in contact with the foster blah blah blah. And so I'm waiting to hear back.
Yeah, how did you find him in the first place?
Again, Susan found him online?
Okay, and she was looking.
Yeah. No, she's very open to the idea of getting a dog, okay, but she also some big criteria.
Yeah.
And the reason is, I'll be honest with you, she will do a lot of the work, probably the majority of the work, because I work in the morning. Yeah, and the first thing you do with a dog is. You get up and you take care of the dog. You feed the dog, you put the dog outside, you water the dog, you whatever, and she will be doing
a lot of that. She trained Josie to go outside. Yeah, when Josie was a little baby girl, we put a Christmas bell on the back door, and she taught Josie to ring the bell when she wanted to go outside.
Cool. Yeah, that's really impressive.
It really was impressive. So thank you, Aubrey. Next email, Hey, y'all, how do radio stations pick their letters like KDWB and for a fund for fun? Here's bonus. If KDWB was an acronym, what do you think it would stand for? Killer DJs with balls?
Killer DJs with balls?
Yeah?
Kind demure go oh I like that? Okay, kind demure with Bailey?
What's up Bailey?
Yeah?
I know for I bet you know more information about it.
But the K and the W depends on what side side of the Mississippi you're on, correct, Yeah, that's all I know about it.
Yeah, it's true. Everything east is W, everything west is K.
Yeah. My grandma was always so impressed that we had both k's.
And w's because we straddled the River.
Yes, in Minnesota.
Yeah, I think the government assigns the call letters, the FCC assigns the call letters, but I think you can also request them.
Ooh yeah, yeah, because I guess, like why don't we go by you know, like talk in the morning time top forty one to one point three, you know, like some some radio stations have like a word, you.
Know, what do you mean, like magic like cities ninety seven.
Right, But that's not their call letter.
No, it's KCTZ, which they requested because it kind of spells cities kctzk cities.
So why didn't why don't we have like a word?
I don't know. I mean, if you looked it up on Wikipedia, it's possible that it stood for something. I know there's a KDWA in Hastings, and I think there's a kdw H or something in Duluth. Oh, so I don't know if we were all owned by the same company or what.
But fascinating.
Yeah, it's not really that interesting, but I think you can request. But basically it's a radio station license. Yeah, so in its essence, it is a licensed You have a radio station and they must give you a set of call letters.
Yeah, I looked it up one time because I thought it would be interesting, and you're right, it really isn't that interesting.
Next one, Okay, here we go from Dan from Apple Valley. Dan says, hello, my friendly dart looking friends, regarding Dave's had of vulnerability. Dave, you know that you're not the life of the party or Katie WB, but you're the glue that holds really strong or freaking balls tight. Thank you, Dan from Apple Valley. He says, I want to be known as Tripod. We get it.
Okay.
That means his wang is so big. Yeah. So here's a funny little story that reminds me. So I read a book by Steve Lucather. Now you don't know Steve Lucather, but he is the guitar player from Toto and he also played on many, many, many songs. He played guitar on so many pop songs. He played guitar on Michael Jackson's Beat It Dan and then that's him. Yeah, Eddie van Halen did the solo, but he did the Dan and and and and he did a bunch of other songs that you know he And this is a this
is a dick story. So here we go. So he is no longer allowed to speak at Berkeley College of Music because he was talking about, you know, like being an amazing guitar player, and he's like, yeah, I can do all these crazy things on my guitar, and this is what he said. He said, But it's like having a twenty inch dick. You can show it off, but
what are you going to do with it? You know? So, I mean, it sounds cool to have a twenty inch dick, sure, because you pull it out at a party and people like, wow, can I get a picture with your dick? But what are you going to do with it?
Nothing, It's just it's just kind of in the way at that point.
It's kind of in the way anyway.
It's just like you can't speak here anymore, sir.
If you are into music and music history and you remember the eighties like I do, a great book is called The Gospel according to Luke, and it's by Steve Lukather It's really really good, I think, Dan. Next one is from Susan Dave. I'm writing because I was thinking about your vulnerable confession today. I'm not sure where you received these comments before, but I thought I would share
my thoughts. So my confession yesterday was kind of a vulnerable moment, and I talked about how I'm going to tell you the short version because I told the long version yesterday on the show. So we were in a group station trip to Mexico, and we're hanging out with a big, loud group of people whatever, and Steve and Fallon and some other people that have come along, and so we you know, we were sitting in the lobby of the hotel and we were drinking a little bit.
We weren't drunk, it was still early and I was like, okay, hey, we're having a good time. Blah blah blah. And I said, I'm kind of socially awkward. I'm never the life of the party. I'm always kind of I'm okay, I don't sit there looking at my phone and it's scowling, but I'm not the life of the party. And so I pulled out a board like a card game like Cards against Humanities, said hey, you guys want to play a game, And one of the girls, who is the life of
the party said, we're not fucking boy scouts. We're not going to play a game. And I felt so small and so stupid. Thing to say, and so that was my vulnerable moment, and I realized that I don't hang well socially in groups. I hang well, but I don't lead. So anyway, she said, I was surprised to hear yourself describe yourself as not the life of a party or as an awkward party guest. As the star of a popular radio show, you carry many responsibilities to represent a
big money making venture, akin to a CEO. I think you are incredibly kind to all those you encounter and strangers you have to accept on the show. Okay, I think I can do that very well.
Yeah, much like you turn it on, like sometimes you have to turn that stuff on.
And I love it. This is me. This is the outgoing version of me, because I'm so comfortable on the radio that I can do. I can be awkward on purpose on the radio, like and run out of things to say and stumble and men make it awkward. I can do it on purpose because I'm so comfortable here on the radio. The woman that made that terrible comment to offer to play a group game was not only out of line, she made a terribly disparaging reference to a very important US boy Scouts. How dare she call
them fucking boy scouts. She might have thought she was being funny, but you don't call a children's organization using a swear word. I listened to your show and enjoyed very much. Thank you, Susan. I really appreciate that. Yeah, it was just something that stuck with me, you know, because in your life, people will say things to you that stick with you. And one of my best stories
is my grandma. When she was five, her mother had a friend over, and like any five year old, even back in those days, what a five year olds do? Say whatever they want, and they get attention, and they play and they're goofy and they're and so here's the little five year old and her mother is having coffee with her friend. And my five year old grandmother was being goofy and silly and trying to get attention, and her mother said to her, shut up or be quiet.
Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Mm. And that stuck with my grandma her entire life. And so she was shy her entire life because she was told that five years old, very formative years, nobody cares what you have to say. Is there anything in your life where somebody said, Bailey, yeah, you look like your cross eyed or you're drunk or anything like that.
Yeah.
I mean I feel bad because I love my mom so much, but a lot of things that my mom said when I was a kid have stuck with me my whole life. Once she got me like this skirt or whatever, and I tried it on and it wouldn't go up over my butt, and so I gave it back to her and I said, it doesn't fit me. And she's like, oh, it's doesn't fit. And then she went into her room and she put it on and it fit her, and she walked out and she said, this is the skirt that doesn't fit you. And I
think about that a lot. But obviously, like I love my mom and sometimes like I have to remind myself like all of our parents are going through life the first time as well, so like they don't have all the answers. My mom's saying like making kind of like quips about me being fat or whatever. It's because my grandma would make quips about my mom being fat.
Oh.
So it's just like is like a cycle that I am trying to stop, and it is really hard because that just goes with you for the rest of time. I just got bullied all the time for how I looked, not necessarily by my mom, but like by you know, bullies in school and whatever. So I am my self confidence is trash in general.
See, and I tell Bailey all the time sort of tongue in cheek. But I say you're kind of hot, and I've always thought you're kind of hot.
That's nice, thank you, because you aren't yeah, beautiful eyes, uglyes.
Fock and I see, And I don't want to make you feel uncomfort but I think you're kind of hot. And I think you're actually hotter now than you were when I first met you ten years ago.
Right, Okay, well that's good to know.
Yeah, I don't know why you don't believe in yourself. I've seen way more unattractive girls than you with tons of confidence.
Well yeah, I would love some, but uh yeah, I don't have any, just like your grandma was shy all or like I'm going to be an ugly girl.
On the inside forever.
Amanda routs in. She says, I've been a longtime fan of the show, going all the way back to leave Volsvic pat ebers days when the song Men in Black came out. You guys did a parody song called Men with Gas to the tune of Will Smith's song Men in Black? Can you dig that song out of the archives and play it? Whenever I hear the Men in Black song, I always hear your parody in my head. Thanks from Amanda in Waconia.
I feel like I remember that song here.
Come the Men with Gas and we played a fart sound effect. Yes, and it was not that big of a hit song. I don't know if it exists anywhere anymore or not.
That was such a good movie because that was really big in my household. It was.
It was Yeah, it was good Man in Black.
Wild Wild West.
They held up the the little pen and they would forget everything they just had.
That's a great movie.
We had Will Smith in the studio one time, best interview we ever did, Wow, And he said, I said, Will, how do you know when a movie is working? He's like, you know, sometimes you just know, but sometimes it's Wild Wild West. And I laughed because he admitted that he knew Wild Wild West was not working.
Yeah, that was a bad movie, but we loved it in the house household.
Okay, good enough.
We loved it in general.
Thank you, Amanda, and thank you for listening all these years. And I'm sorry I don't have that song to play for you.
Somewhere, deep down somewhere.
Next one, sir, good morning. Don't say my name. I'm writing. After today's podcast you were talking about how it's weird not having a social media account because a woman said I got dating the guy no social media? Is that a red flag? So this email continues and says, hold one second, Well, this is why I don't post anything. I do have Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, snapchat, TikTok, so it's
not like I don't have them. I just don't post anything because I have an order of protection on someone that I'm afraid will harm me, that has broken my nose and knocked out a tooth in the past. My gosh, don't feel sorry. I'm in a much much better place right now. This person would be that type to look on social media to see where I am and then show up at that place. So that is why I don't post anything on there unless it is a day later or maybe hours later, when I've left the area.
So to me, it's not weird if somebody doesn't have an account on social media. I just want to tell you guys, that's why I don't do it. Thanks for listening and keep doing you and remember tomorrow needs you. I never thought about that.
It's nice.
Does tomorrow need you?
It needs you?
Why does it need me?
I don't know, because people listen to this radio shows.
Okay, yeah, all right, here we go. Don't don't say my name. I was listening to Bailey's comments on the graduation ceremony. Kids on their devices. I am a mom of an autistic toddler, and I get very frustrated when I constantly see kids on devices. We limit screen time to about a movie a week and maybe a couple of episodes of shows if we need an extra break. My child doesn't own a tablet and they're not going
to get one there about five and a few months. Yes, it is harder to manage your kid without screens, and yes, their behavior will be more manageable when on screens in public. But I want my kids to grow up understanding boredom, be creative, etc. In public. I'm fully prepared with all the things to entertain her, and I have an exit plan if needed. If she can't sit still. I walk
around with her. We have coloring books from the library, like books on tape of the audio part is built into the book, leapfrog books with the interactive pen, small portable gangs like Hungry, Hungry Hippos, etc. Sometimes we've got to come up with ideas on the fly. At the grocery store, my husband had to take her outside and they follow the brick all to mimic a maze while I was in the long checkout line. The big thing is you have to be tuned in to your child
and pay attention to them. It can take a lot out of you, but putting the work in helps a lot later. With my kids not screen dependent, she likes to play quietly in a room for thirty to forty five minutes at her time with her dollhouse and other things. Give her a piece of string and she'll build a zip line for her toys to ride on. She'll paint quietly for thirty minutes on her own and recite books
from memory while playing. Is my kid easy? No, But we've worked hard to make sure she's not addicted to screens and have devices controlled her life. If we gave in years ago, she'd likely be incredibly overstimulated, unable to manage any type of board of boredom, and absolutely wouldn't be as advanced socially with her autism diagnosis. I don't judge other families because I don't know their kid, I don't know their world. I just like showing others. We put a ton of work in and have seen many
good outcomes from it. Get creative when it comes to managing your kids in public, and you'd be surprised how much closer you will be with them and learn from them how to be a kid. Again. I think that's so admirable.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that in general, there's the easy way, and you've definitely done it the more challenging way. And I really very much admire that, Yeah.
Because I mean, when you go into being a parent, you're signing up to, you know, parent your child, and I feel like screens are the easy way to not have to parent your child. And I do really love like you're teaching your kid how to have an imagination and also you know, getting your imagination in like sense of wonder back a little bit. Yeah, by like facilitating that for your kid, which I love.
That's great.
We did get a lot of text messages last week saying like, well, I have an autistic child, so they need the screen in order to you know, function.
I'm thinking, but like, every single screen can't belong to someone who like needs it. It's just that here take this so you don't have a meltdown.
Well true, Yeah, yeah, I remember the first time I was ever exposed to that was when screens were new ish, maybe ten years ago. We were at ikes over in Minnetonka, and we're sitting there at the table next to us is it's family. They're all gathered around. A kid about eight years old, got the screen and headphones on. And I went on the radio the next day and I said, yeah,
I just couldn't believe I'd never seen that before. I couldn't believe that they, you know, were letting their kid watch a movie or whatever during the restaurant family time. And I got roasted by people saying he might have been autistic, and I'm like, he might have been, but he might not have been. Yeah, but I think that's the tendency, is to give everybody an excuse that they might be autisted.
Right.
Yeah, I was gonna make a joke about Bailey being on the spectrum right now, but it probably wouldn't go over very well.
Yeah, I mean I probably am.
There's no question. When I was a kid there was no such thing as autism diagnosis on the spectrum. There was, but we didn't know it. I would bet a million dollars that if my mom and dad would have had me tested, I would have absolutely tested for something.
You probably have at least ADHD. I feel like so many people have possibly yeah, yeah, and don't realize it. I'm sure I do, But I am undiagnosed.
You don't seem to you seem like you can hold a steady course and you know when to act this way and know when to act that way. Yeah.
But I have like a lot of laundry sitting on my couch for the last week and a half.
And there that That's probably it. Last one. I just want to say I love to listen in the Morning Show and the Minnesota Goodbye. I've listened since I was in fifth grade. This is from Tricia, and she says I went from a girl who went to parochial school listening only to Christian or country music because of my mom, to regular school listening to the Dave Ryan in the morning show. I recently introduced my mom to The Minnesota Goodbye and she absolutely love it. She loves it. She's
always laughing when the show is on. Her favorite is listening to Janita Rant and my favorite is when you diss Glencoe, Minnesota, as that is where we are both from. I was hoping I can get you and the crew to give my mom a birthday shout out be the highlight of her day. She is turning sixty five and has lived one hell of a life in those sixty five years. Could you please wish Mama Bear a happy sixty fifth birthday? We would appreciate it. Tricia from Hutchinson
formerly of Glencoe, Minnesota. Absolutely, we don't have a name, but h Mama Bear who Happy sixty fifth.
Birthday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday.
And that is going to wrap it up for the Minnesota good Bye. Oh and of course send your emails because we'd love to hear about your Maybe a moment when somebody said something that is stuck with you, good or bad. Let us know what is stuck with you. Send that to Ryan Show at katiwbeat dot com. Or if you got to shit your pants story we'd love to hear that too. Ryanshow at katiwb dot com