I Don't Have Any Back Hair

What Oh my gosh. All of a sudden, I hear you. I look up, I hear you owt a Bailey's mouth. I look up, Davis digging in his ears and he goes, what there's hair in there?

There is a long hair.

Do you have tweezers? Because I can get it well.

I don't carry tweezers around with me, but.

I appreciate my car.

You're at work.

This is a lot as bad as clipping your toenails at work.

I would know, I admitted. But you guys are my friends. I would like if I was, like, you know, presenting an Emmy to somebody, it wouldn't be like, okay, and the Winter's Tina Fey and I'm up there pulling hair out of my ears.

It was so loud. That's why I said loud.

Oh, it was loud because you went it wouldn't click when you pulled it out of your ear in the first place, which is why I.

Heard it today. I don't want to drop a celebrity name, but I was talking on the talking to the phone one time with Morris Day from Morris Day in the time. Yeah, and we both agree that when a man turns about twenty seven, you got to start plucking that ear hair and that nose hair, and sometimes even earlier than that. So if you have a man or you are a guy, and you have not looked in your ear and nose, and you're over the age of twenty seven, you got

Yeah, why don't you just use the nose hair clipper thing in your ear, because they it's different, tangled up. It's no, it's not concentrated. So in your nose, it's concentrated in a little spot your ear, like all over the perimeter of your ear. You don't just look in your ear hole. You look and then women, this is something that happens with women. Get about forty or so, all of a sudden, they'll have like an inch long hair growing randomly out of the middle of their chin or neck.

Forty try five.

I've got one that comes out like right underneath my chin.

So usually it's not like seen I have tons.

I feel like, I have a problem, and I should probably get it checked out because I just like constantly pull hair out of my chin. And I used to get made fun of for my mustache, but I got it like half laser removed.

I don't see any mustache at all.

Well, that's because I take care of it.

That's good. Yeah, I think it should anyway, So you should all.

Take care of your ear air.

It's bothering me. Well, you've had a popcorn kernel in your tub yesterday and you were.

Like wet podcast a children. No, I got it right away, but as soon as I walked in, I tell Bailly, I was like, God, this is gonna b crap on of me. So I was digging in there for the first five minutes.

Yeah, you're right, I should not do it. But boys, it's satisfying when you get that out of there, Like whether it's a popcorn kernel or a piece of chicken or the ear hair out of your ear and you hold it up and you look at it, and the longer it is, the more satisfying.

It is satisfying that you know you lived your whole life with this giant, long ear hair and people probably looked at it and judged you.

They're gonna keep a pair of tweezers in the studio. Have some in my car, so you could help me out, because I don't even think Susan would do that.

Oh that sounds fun.

Here's another thing that guys need to do, and that is like when you get a haircut and you reveal the back of your neck. A couple of weeks later, it starts to grow in fuzzies below your hairline on the back of your neck, and you need to get that cut because the boy, does that ever look sloppy if you don't. So if you're a dude and you have hair that you can see the back of your neck, you got to go into great clips and get that razored off of there.

So I agree, especially if it like fades into your back hair.

The good thing is her back hair, Well, lucky, I don't have any back hair.

That You're lucky.

Is what most men get eventually in life is somebody I've never really gotten.

I've got a pretty smooth back, but I do have a patch of hair right above my tailbone. Now, the funny thing is I passed that along to Alison.

You don't, Alison, No, I.

Will I don't care. I don't care, Alison. My daughter is thirty two, very girly, very feminine. But you got a patch of hair. I call it her tail, just above her tailbone, and there's a lot Dad or given me that. I'm like, oh, that's your tail, Alison. And it's not bad. It's just it's yeah.

I have I don't have the hair, but I do have a birthmark right above my butt. It's just this giant, big red splotch.

How big like the size of.

The palm of your hand, Like the size of a palm in my hand?

Is it dark red?

No, it's like a mid red mid Yeah.

Yeah, you're exaggerating by the size.

So is it really palm on my hand?

Yeah?

Really Yeah, it's a huge spot.

I'm thinking like a mole not.

O.

Yeah, got it? Anyway, Will you show me it someday?

Sure, not right now because I'm wearing a one piece, but maybe another time.

Okay, I'll make sure I'm not here. Okay, let's move on to a couple of emails, because that is the heart and soul of the Minnesota Goodbye, Dave, Jenny Bailey vont I want to start off by saying, how much I love the show. Bailey and Vont are a great addition. I miss Fallon, but it gives me reason to listen to her later in the day. So we're hearing that more and more that Bailey and vant are a great addition. And I think it's one of those things where it takes a while to grow on you, and at first

She not madam.

Yeah, I'm writing to get your opinion on wedding gifts. My friend got married. I'm struggling on what to get them for their reception. They're in their low forties and have everything they need and they're well off. You have any suggestions and what is a good amount to spend? Thanks for making make my day start with smiles and giggles and she asks for a staff Rider sticker. She lives in Austin and I will make sure that Bree sends her one. Thank you, Bri. I don't know about

Always get I feel like, regardless of age, I always just donate to their honeymoon fund. And I usually give like fifty to one hundred dollars to a honeymoon fund and hopefully they have one. If not, they I don't know, they probably have a fund for something. And then I just like put money into a pool, so I don't have to wrap anything, and I just get them a card and say, hey, here's some money for your honeymoon fund. Buy some Margarita's Okay, fun Jenny, Yeah, I.

Mean I would just do the same, But I also pretty much only give cash at weddings, Like I don't ever go out and buy anything from a registry if they have one nowadays, So that's what I would do.

But now you can add the funds to your registry, like the honeymoon fund or the kayak fund or whatever, so you don't have to go out and buy a kayak.

You just donate to their kayak fund.

Yeah, yeah, because you don't want to buy them an entire eight hundred dollars.

That get your own kayak.

Okay, can I ask you something? This is a I thought it might be interesting. The Chan rec Center puts together different things and they offer like last Halloween they did a cemetery tour and some different things around chan Hassen where you'd go to the local cemeteries because chan

I remember you talking about.

It was cool, yeah, and they'd be like, my name is Jacob Plumber and I was the lumberyard owner here in chan Hassen, and I disappeared mysteriously and they'd be in period clothing and it was really cool. So Chan hasn't send something else, Like you ever tried an e bike? You want to go on an e bike tour of chan Hassen. And I clicked on the link and it was super confusing and it went to with something that was like didn't look like it was the right link,

Yes, okay, that sounds super fun.

I was gonna say, you've been talking about like e bikes for a while too, so I feel like you're interested in them, so add in a little history.

I well, I don't I don't want to be. I see kids zooming through our neighborhood on an e bike and I'm like, dang, you really should be pedaling that e bike instead of like you know, coasting through and then going home to eat little Debbie cakes. You fat fuck well fucked to shock.

What's interesting is I think actually most people on e bikes are like not even like out of shape. They just choose to not pedal all the time, so they e bike and then they pedal what they want.

I learned that you're still like working just as hard on an e bike as you would a regular bike. You just go farther. But I guess if you're not peddling, you're not going to go as far. But if you are peddling, you'll just go further on your e bike then you would on a regular bike.

Okay, I mean that's likely and I might try it, but the link is not working right, so I'll see how that goes. But I do have a friend. She used to sell here at KTWB twenty years ago, and she has an e bike and she is like my age and super fit. She's got the fitness of like a twenty two year old because she's always working out and she eats like, you know, kale and yogurt and things like that, and I'm like that would suck. Okay,

Mary Anne.

Yes, I remember she walked up to the booth yep, and she's like, hey, it's me, It's Drake. Is my Drake impression?

And first she didn't say she was doing an impression, and you looked at her like she was a little crazy, and I was like, is this your Drake impression? She goes, yeah, she's very funny.

And I love the fact that listen to some of the words that she uses in her email, and I'll just use this Dave. I also love those little peppers you recently discovered, and I have a recipe for you, because carrots can fuck off. That's the kind of woman I want in my life. Yekay, okay, somebody who's got her vulgar and unpredictable, not so unpredictable that I'm wake up and she's got like a knife, a knife. It's like, wow, that's unpredictable. But I don't want that level. No, because

Well, Susan told you that.

She said, I'm boring in moody.

Wow, what did you say bad?

I said, you need a new husband, and she didn't say anything.

I know, well, at least she didn't get like a tacky back and been like, well, you're no Fillian lazy.

I've never I've learned not to argue in certain situations. So she told me I was boring in moody, and I said, I've been really tired this week because we've had a lot of activities, and I also have not been eating enough.

Yeah, you said that last night that you want to work out and you hit a wall because you haven't been eating, and that is like the opposite of what you're supposed to be doing. You got to eat to be able to do everything that you want.

I went to workout yesterday and I had had I think, I don't know. I had two bananas and six pretzel rods before my workout. Because I asked Alexa, what is a good pre workout food? She said, rice and bananas. Well, I don't have any rice, but I had some pretzel rods, and so I had and they're big ones. They're like, you know, like a licorice stick like ten inches long. Yeah, And I hit a wall about halfway through an hour long workout and I was like, oh, I'm so tired.

Yeah.

I think that's it, you know, Yeah, you got it.

Anyway, Marianne, it's too bad that neither of us are single because we could be vulgar together. So okay?

Is that in her heart forever? She'll be like, wow, that's we said.

Let's see. Oh I love this one. I think I want to do this one on the show because it's so funny and it's so true. They say, is there any way the Morning Show can get somebody on who works in road trunk construction and explain why why why are their cones set up weeks in advance that closes down lanes and creates a build up of traffic before the crew comes out to work on the road. Why must a whole mile worth of cones be put out

I would say like half and half, because I have tried to pay attention to that so that not to just speak about the stereotype without actually seeing it for myself. But I think half the time, yes, that is what it is. There's at least like one person kind of standing around, yeah and kind of like not doing as much. But maybe they have to be overseeing it, you know.

I don't know, though, I will say, like I don't know necessarily about the people, but I definitely agree about like the traffic cones. Right now, there's like a one street that's closed in my neighborhood, so I have to go like around the entire neighborhood to get here in the morning. Okay, And even the road that I'm taking has a million billion traffic cones on it, and so no one really knows where the lanes are.

Suddenly like the lane ends.

And then you have to scoot over really fast, and it's so annoying. But I never ever see anyone on the sides where the cones are. I only see them on like the inside actually doing work, which is great, But then why do we have cones?

Like one lane of.

The entire street is available because of all the cones when you're not working on all of that space, What the heck?

I don't know. They're working on Gallpin Road in Chanhassen. They're putting a new phone polls or something. Then then they had like thirty people out there yesterday, geez. One of them was working, the other one was sitting there eating a hot dog. The other was on his phone. There's a woman holding the stop sign. That looks like the most boring job ever. Go when they pulls the stop and then swings it around to slow.

I think they always give that to a woman too. Why do they really do a woman.

I don't know. There's probably a stereotype that lives on from back in the day. Well, Joyce is not allowed to drive the bulldozer because she's a woman, But Joyce Shaken stand over there and swing around the stop slow sign.

Yeah. I would radly take that job if I was in construction because that means less back pain. All right, you hit a certain age and you just have back pain constantly.

Apparently it pays well though construction, Yeah, in general.

But it's so hard. Yeah, you know, I would think that it's hard out it's hard. You're in danger of some yahoos zip and buy on their phone and killing you. So we respect that, and it's you're out in the sun or the elements all day. I would hate construction work.

Your bands will never be soft again.

We do a study though, or will rent a study or something on like Day's Dirt recently that said construction workers are some of the happiest people people because they get to be outside all day.

Yeah, oh yeah, we did read that.

I would say my mom does hard labor, like she owns a landscap escaping company, but she's very happy and I really do think it has a lot to do with her just working outside constantly, even though she's hauling mulch and.

Rock all the time.

Yeah.

I mean when I worked at the farm, I loved that job, but it was probably because I was just soaking up that vitamin D and like slightly exercising, but not to the.

Point where I was like sweating. Yeah, so it was lovely.

I sent that email onto you, Jenny, so we can actually try to do that on the actual show. Let's see. Hello from Travis, longtime listener back to the Lena days. Have been a lot behind on catching up on the show and podcasts lately. Question, and maybe this has been talked about. Have Bailey and vont gotten to experience Dave's never have I ever? It is hilarious back in the day to hear him explain it to callers off the air and then hear their reaction. We did it a

And I get that experience.

No, but I think that people do. They just do they just I think men and women do taste their stuff. Oh and I'm not going to look for any responses, but I think it's a very common thing that nobody wants to admit. Don't act like you never tasted your own stuff. Travis goes on to say, I'll admit at first I didn't know what it was. I thought about him doing a nerf ball because I heard him alluding to that. Then I saw the rebus. I'll hang up and listen for your reply, which is what callers say

I won't admit to anything that was not your audience to tell.

But if you are asking your partner in the love and department to taste that, I think you, as the chef of the said material, you need to find out what you are putting out for.

You're such a master words. Look at you as the chef.

You're the one who made it. I think it's your responsibility to make sure it's delicious. And that's it. We're done, Minnesota, goodbyes. Send him in Ryan Show at kadiwb dot com.