I hope you don't mind when the Minnesota bought up Goodbye gets a little bit spicy because Jenny brought up something yesterday and we said, oh, Jenny, bring that up on the podcast today. But I will tell you it's a little bit spicy, and you don't want to have this blaring in the car in front of little Cindy Leu who in the back seat. So Jenny, what do you want to bring up?
Well, first of all, you're the one who brought up the topic right away, because we said something about boner, and you're like, no, woman says boner, And I.
Was like, I say boner all the time.
Yeah, I've used the word boner in my life.
Well yeah, sure, but it came up yesterday. You're like, yeah, he had a great big boner something like that.
No, I was saying how I had a dream and I had a penis in it and I had a boner.
So anyways, and I said, no woman uses the word boner.
So then it transpired from there where I asked you all in the room if you knew what a chod was because we used to say chod all the time when we were younger, and you guys didn't know.
Right, I've heard the word, but I didn't know you.
Had somewhat of an answer.
But as far as I know and what my childhood was growing up, when we called our friend Cody chody, it means a very thick penis, but short.
So a short, thick penis is a chold.
Anybody want to google it Urban Dictionary?
Okay, boner, Dave, Then what are you supposed to say?
Yeah, direction I'm hard.
One hard seems dumb. Yeah, well it doesn't.
I don't use it, sure, But I would also not say I call Susan and say, hey, you know what I got? I got a big boner. I mean, can you imagine that's that's what a twelve year old boy would say when he's like, oh god, I woke up with a boner.
I got a big old boner.
I didn't even have to go to Urban Dictionary. This is in the Oxford Dictionary. Chold is in there. A penis, especially one characterizes being short and thick.
The definition of it, I have no idea.
Oh my gosh, we used to use it all the time, and I feel like I've said it in like my adulthood and people are like, I've never heard that in my life.
We've all seen one, A short, thick one.
Yeah, oh okay, yeah, I would say there's plenty of those out there.
Yeah.
I remember Julie one time we were with. This is back when Julie chased his mom and I were together and we were sitting into Perkins in Mesa, Arizona, and I said, well, what's average, what's average size? What's average size? And she takes her fingers and she spreads them about nine inches apart, and she said that's about average. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? And then she's like oh, and then she realized that I'm nowhere near that measurement, so then she kind of moved them together
a little bit. And I was like, it's too late. You're telling me that's been your average. And Julie was with a fair amount of guys. Yeah, so yeah, And I was a little bit shocked that she thought that was the average. Anything else you want to add about Boner's.
Jennym No one thing I will say.
Because I was looking up while you guys were having this com is, I feel like with Andrew, You're right, I don't say, oh, look at your boner or something, and I'll be like, you got a chub right now, which is like the beginning stages of a boner.
Beginning stage Okay, now is that true?
Is it chub a boner?
Dave?
Didn't you know that?
I've never really thought about. I don't know I've ever used the chub, like the word chub. But is the beginning stages? Okay?
Is it appropriate to name the podcast boners and Chods?
Yeah? I don't think so.
No.
Yeah, what if I say b's and c's.
Yeah, sure, that's fine.
Penis that is anywhere between semi erect and erect is a chub?
Huh Jinny, It's amazing you know so much about this, You know more about it than I do.
I feel like you're right. I feel like you would know more about certain things like this. But I just Andrew and I are pretty vulgar.
But also we.
Were teenagers when I when chod became a thing, and I'm telling you it was because we had a friend Cody Letto, and everyone's like Chody.
That's one thing that Susan. She's not vulgar. She just is not. And I think that's the funniest I'm really inappropriate humor kind of a person. Like what was I saying to Bailey earlier? I don't want to I'll go ahead, you know, I don't want to say it. But it was something like totally deliberately sexist and inappropriate, and Bailey knew that I was joking, so then she was laughing. And I think piled on a little bit because I
love inappropriate humor. It's just very funny to me. But Susan, like if I said something like, oh, I don't know, you know what I'm gonna do to I hope you like anal because we're gonna have a big night if I said something. If I said something like that to Susan, she'd be like, God, why would you say that?
And I'm like, cause it's a joke.
Nobody says that.
Everything that comes out of my mouth that could be termed sexual, even like the slightest sexual. Andrew turns it sexual, you know, like I'm hungry, I got something for you to eat.
Those kinds of things. That's like all the conversations in our household.
That's classical.
I think it's hilarious.
It's classic fIF teen year old boy humor, and it's easy and it's low hanging fruit and it's funny and I love that kind of humor, but Susan does not, so I just don't do it around her. I bring it to work where it belongs.
To bring it to work where it belongs.
Okay, So moving on. One Eat has got a rant here, So we're going to dig into one Eats rant if I push the correct buttons and hope for the best. One Eat is rent. One Eat is a big contributor of the show, and here we go with her rant.
Well, not my favorite peeps.
So this week's rent is about Minnesotians and they're hot dish.
So I think I.
Told you guys before that I'm not originally from Minnesota.
I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois.
I've been in Minnesota for maybe about twenty five twenty six years now, but there's still just certain things that I just can't get used to. One of those things is a hot dish. Where I come from, it's called a cast role. I had never heard it being called a hot dish until I moved to Minnesota. Since I moved here, I've heard of Italian hot dish, Breakfast hot dish, and now the infamous tetor tod hot dish.
I'm not knocking it because I've.
Never eaten hot dish tatter tot hot dish. But every pot luck at work, there's always fucking four or five different variations of goddamn tater tot hot. In my mind, I don't think God intended for tata toss to be swimming around and soup and cheese and put in the oven. Tato toasts is supposed to be fried in hot grease, put on a plate, and put some ketchup on the side.
That's my version of tater tots.
So I'm not gonna knock it, like I said, because I've never tried it. But I just can't get used to the fact that tatter tot's being baked in soup. I just don't see it. So come at me if you want, but I until I try it, Like I said, I just can't get used to that.
Well, that's my rant for this week. Talk to you guys next week, Love.
You by it? I respond, What the fuck? Yeah, okay, no, I'm kidding one eat it. It's one of those things where if you haven't tried it, then it's hard to like appreciate how good it is because it's the creaminess of the soup, the green beans, which are a little bit of like different texture, and then the Chris being this combined with the sogginess of the tater tots. It really just it's kind of a great It's like a party in your mouth. Yes, there's a lot of things
going on in there. There's a d in the corner. Somebody's doing limbo over here. Yeah, you got a keg stand over here, you got a game of bags over here. It's a party in your mouth with all kinds of different things going on.
I agree. I love tatered hot hot dish, Juanita. You have to try it. It's so delicious. I would even like make my own tater tot hot dish. Like in college, we had tater tots and we had sausage gravy at like at the cafeteria, and I would just get me a plate full of tater tots, put that sausage gravy or top. It's essentially tater tot hot dish without any of the vegetables.
Delicious that's taken out all the parts you don't like, Yeah, I mean the green beans, I mean high school. Yeah, they're fine.
Yeah, I would eat the regular.
You know that sounds really good and so unhealthy, but yeah, I mean it's funny because Carson, who's always been a picky eater, he loves tater tot hot dish. His two favorite foods are tacos and tater tot hot dish, And so when he comes home from La sus will make him tater tot hot dish.
Yeah.
We probably all have that one dish that we have our parents make at some point.
Like, oh, good question.
Yeah, because like for mine, my mom makes really good sweedish meatballs, so I'm always game for that. She makes a great lasagna, and I will say as a Wisconsin night, I'm kind of probably because I'm closer to Chicago.
We also didn't have hot dishes in my hometown.
It was just like a cast you call the cast roll, same thing.
Yeah, but like even like tater tot hot dish, I didn't know what that was until I came to Minnesota. We didn't make that, or even like we didn't even make it. It wasn't like we made it and we called the cast role. It's like we didn't even make that.
I would agree same in Colorado, Yeah, we anything. We had with castroll was like a tuna noodle, tuna noodle cast role with like wavy noodles in tuna and maybe cheese or sour cream or whatever in there. Yeah, but we never ever made a hot dish or a cast role with tater tots.
I wonder if you can get that at any like restaurants.
Because some restaurants do.
Yeah, for sure.
Let's go back to what was your great food that your mom made? My mom had two her meat loaf and her mac and cheese. Jenny, what about you?
Yeah, I would say I'm actually going to go back on Swedish meatballs and say her beef strogan off was better. So I would say that, and then lasagna was always so good.
Oh, that sounds good. Je Bailey.
My mom would make a roast beef, but we called it roast beast because it was just like the roast beef that would just stay in the oven forever, so it would like fall off your fork and then like potatoes carrots.
It was so good to me.
What did your mom think about it? You don't have to send it in, but what did your mom make for you when you would come home from college or whatever? What was your favorite thing your mom made when you were a kid. Let's see. No, I'm not going to read that one, but I will read this one. Wanted to write in, says Aaron, and talk about the listener ruma wanting to know how to tell her kids their grandpa is very sick. My grandma I was diagnosed with a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball when
I was ten or eleven. I don't recall having a conversation with my mom about her being sick, but I remember visiting her after her tumor was removed. I think my parents kept a lot of the details from me is she was much sicker than they expected. She continued to get worse until she finally passed in her own home on hospice. What I do remember is the time we spent together, and they emphasized time, so I'm gonna
go back and read it again. What I do remember is the time we spent with her before she passed, countless trips to my grandparents home to help Grandpa with her care, bringing the meals, and just spending time with her. I think it doesn't matter what you say to your kids, but to bring them along to help care for them make sure they spend as much time with him as possible. I'm gonna get teared up. That's what they will remember most.
That is a very good answer, because they wondered how to say, hey, Grandpa is probably not going to live long because he had prostate cancer that it spread to his liver and kidneys, or something like that topics. In one of your recent episodes, Bailee mentioned one of the speech kids using an advanced vocabulary word in his speech my English teacher. Fun fact. She is Lena's sister. Lena used to work for the show. Always used to have a word of the day, which was usually a word
we'd never heard before. Thought it was a great way to expose us to different vocabulary words using papers, speeches in everyday life. Just thought i'd share another fun fact. My mom used to work with Lena at the bank before she was hired on KATWGB with Love Aaron. Yeah, Lena did improv and worked at a bank, and she applied for the job by writing a letter. And that's not how you applied for a radio job. You usually send in audio samples of what you might sound like.
And I said, I'm not going to hire somebody who works it up, bank gone. So we had her come in an audition off the air, and she was so good that we put her on the air, and with no radio experience whatsoever, she killed it. She was amazing and she worked at a bank.
Wow the letter part of that. I knew that she worked at the bank and all that stuff, but I didn't know that.
There's a local improv guy Stevie Stevie Ray, and Stevie Ray said, Hey, I want to tell you about this girl named Bethany that's her real name, and she'd been on the radio. No, she's done some improv. Okay, well, I mean I guess, have her send a letter or have her get in touch with me. So she sent a letter, which I thought was very I don't know. I was a little snobby about it, like, god, yeah, what an amateur. But then look what happens, so you
never know. Aaron good email. Thank you very much. Next one Hello Morning show team. Last week, one staff writer sent in a fun challenge to come up with your own music festival and three acts and two food trucks. I remember that that was fun. I wanted to say, my family loved playing this. Well, I'm glad your family did that. That's so cool that you shared it with the family. I think one thing about our show in the podcast is like, if you enjoy it, you were
likely to enjoy it too, because what what do we with? Fred? Why are they our friends? Because we have things in common? So we both have the same wicked sense of humor, the same maybe political affiliation. Maybe we have the same like we both have sons that are fourteen years old, or we are both doctors or whatever it is. So if you like our show, tell a friend about our show, because chances are they'll like it too.
Very true.
Yeah, here's my best shot at a few. If you could only eat one candy for the rest of your life and still be healthy, what three candies would you have? Three Musketeers, Nerds Rope, Reese's Peanut butter cups.
It was really fast.
Yeah, God, well there was no question.
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go Peanut butter m and MS. Oh I need some. I think I'm gonna go with nerd. Wait was that your answer or her answer?
I said Nerds Rope, but I'm gonna change it to nerds Clusters.
Yeah, I would say nerds clusters because I need something like sweet like that, and then I think I'll go with kit kats.
Okay, I'm gonna say red vines, the licorice, nerds, clusters, and then nutty bars. I'm not sure if that counts as candy, but I could eat like those.
Yeah, they're so good. You forget about those. Those were like a childhood stable, and then in adulthood you're like a should I get a box of these for my pants?
Peanut butter and chocolate, just a little crunch.
That's a better I feel like that's better than kid cats.
Now, yeah, you can have it.
There's no rules.
It's not a real competition.
I want us Okay done.
Next question from Taylor. If you had to have three pets at all times, but they had to be different animals, which three would you choose? Dog? Cat, pet, rat, jenny.
Dog, absolutely, penguin, and shit, I'm gonna go.
Oh no, I'm sorry, sloth.
Okay, all right, say cat, probably like a chinchilla because those are super soft. And then like a duck, like one of those big white, like storybook ducks.
I saw something on Instagram yesterday it was how to pick up a duck? And I sat there and I watched it. It was captioned how to pick up a duck? And you can are you calling the podcast how to pick up a duck?
No, but that's a good one.
I could do that.
And it was funny because I'm like, okay, how do you pick up a duck? And they said, here's what you don't do. Don't approach the duck from the back and reach your hands out to try to grab him by the sides, because he's just gonna run. You have to walk up to the duck from the front because ducks won't be scared, put your hand underneath his belly, one hand, and pick him up with one hand. Really, and apparently ducks like that, and he did it.
You'd have to hold down it.
It's wings no, no.
No, I mean, I don't know. It's Instagram. Who knows.
I believe it.
I can tell you that chickens. I grew up raising chickens, and chickens don't like to be caught. But once you catch them, they like to be held and scratched. Yes, And they will let you scratch their little chicken neck and they'll turn their neck to the side like a dog to expose more of their neck for you to scratch their little chicken neck.
I hated chickens when I worked at the Living History Farm. I hated them because they were always so mean and we had to catch them. Yeah, we'd have to catch them for like little kids to like pet and I hated it when it was my turn to go and catch a freaking chicken because we had to trip them with like a hook and then they'd be on the ground and they'd be like, ah, freaking out, and then you'd have to like hold onto them and then try to get away. But then once you caught them, then
it was fine. And then you would put your apron over top of their heads so they felt like they were sleeping.
Oh really, yeah, it sounds like.
It worked at the chicken version of Tiger King.
For a second there.
And finally, Taylor says, if you had to marry one of your family members, which one would you choose and why? Lol? Sorry, this one is weird. Okay, had to marry one of probably my cousin Vicky, because I've always oddly found Vicky attractive. I hope to God that her and her family are not listening. I know they do once in a while, but ever since I was a little kid. I've always kund Vicky kind of attractive, and she's very funny and very personable. So I'd say cousin Vicky Jenny.
Probably my cousin Amanda. She is very in shape.
She is way too good of a runner though for me, I could never keep up with her, but I think we would have very similar interests. And she's also a huge hiker that like she's bringing her daughter for her senior year of high school. They're going to Norway, and her daughter's like, I'll let you have one hike, Like this is a big trip they're doing together, and she's like, you get to have one hike, and Amana is like, come on, let me have a few more. I feel
like her and I would travel so well together. We just have very similar interests. Also very funny, also chatty, chatty girl.
Okay, that's who you would marry, Bailey, what family member would you want to marry.
I'm going to pick my cousin Autumn because she's like six ' three, she's really funny, like dry sense of humor. She lives in Chicago. Oh, she's going to like chef school, so she can like cook for me. She can like carry me around because she's just like super duper tall and she's just fun to be around. So I'm gonna pick my cousin autumn.
Okay, I like that. Thank you Taylor for the very fun questions. Really appreciate that. One. Next email from Hillary says morning show crew, I need ideas and feedback on something. Our kids are starting their first sports teams in the spring. The registration asked what you want as their name on the back of the shirt. I'm stuck. Should I be worried about a stranger taking advantage of this. I'm not
worried about what the other parents or other kids. It's the random strangers have I watched too many true crime shows. What do other parents think? First name, last name, nickname, or no name. Keep up the great work, Dave, Jenny Bailey, vont. I think that a lot of that is over reported. I don't think there's any danger. There's really it's not likely that a strange strangers almost never abduct strangers. The people who get abducted are like adult women, or the
parent will abduct their estranged kid. But as far as like abducting a kid, we used to have this debate whenever it was a cub Scout Boy Scout leader. There was one parent who said, we are not putting the kid's pictures on the website. We will not, And I said, every other troop does. I said, can you imagine the ridiculous scenario of a random predator going on our cub Scout Troops website going, oh, that kid looks like somebody i'd want a kidnap, showing up at the meeting, sitting
there in the back of the room. Nobody notices this creep in the back, and then they're able to abduct little Theodore and sneak him out. I said, I didn't be that big of a dick about it, but I said, that's just not likely to happen. He said, well, you're not allowed to. Well, it turned out that is why friend of daycare and they could not buy rules of the State put pictures of their kids on social media on online. So I think, then, going back to your question,
I don't think there's any danger at all. Have fun. Let your kid have the name on the back. If it says Hansen on the back of the kid's shirt, who cares a big deal.
I mean it happens in sports all the time. They have their name on the back of their shirts. So those kids were.
Fine, Well, yeah, that's that's what she's asking for sports specifically. Okay, yeah, no, Jenny, And.
I know times have changed since I was a young kid, but like my last name was always on my back of my sports shirt.
So I would say, just allow it.
I'm very much on the side of you, Dave that it just would be so crazy for someone to come in and do anything based off of just their name being on their shirt.
Yeah, And I mean I guess you could like say, oh, well, now they could look up where they live and they could come to well they could, but they could also follow them home for school. I don't know. I think there's certain things that you should careful about with your kid. There's way more dangers on social media than there is on a sports team with you know, little Nikki's name stitched on the back. But thanks for asking. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, send me a story,
let me know about it. I can't do that one, and I can't do that one, and this one is it's really longer, but it's very sweet. We'll wrap up with this one right now. Kelly says it's almost midnight. I'm at Children's Hospital in the cardiac I see you with my one day old baby. Little Baby Nova has a heart defect called a truncus arteriosis. We've got a long road ahead, but she's doing well. I was inspired to write because I thought you would think this is cute.
I did. I grew up listening to the Dave Ryan Show. I've always found comfort in the sound of Day's voice. When I got older, I went to college and there were a few years I didn't listen. But I stumbled on the show again about two years ago. This was at a time in my life when I was very strong, and oh what a comfort it was hearing Dave's voice again.
That is very sweet. Thank you. Since rediscovering the show, where I listened religiously every day to both the show and the Minnesota Goodbye, this means I've listened throughout my whole pregnancy too. I found out after the baby was born that heart babies are super tired. Baby Nova, who is remember one day old, has spent her entire first day sleeping. The only time she does anything other than sleep is when she hears my voice and tries to open her eyes. I guess she's so used to hearing
me when she was in the womb. She's trying to put a face to the voice. Just now, I turned on the Minnesota Goodbye, and the second Dave started talking, Baby Nova tried opening her eyes. Oh, it's gonna make me cry. She is looking for the face to match the familiar voice that she's heard for the past nine months. Dave's anyway, thank you for being such a comfort in my whole life, and now Baby Nova's whole life too.
I love the entire show, Jenny Bayant, I understand some trolls have been hard on Bailey and Vant, but as a long time listener, I feel qualified to say those people are just haters and the show is just as good as it has always been. Sorry for the long message. You don't have to read it on the show if it's too long. Attached is a photo of Baby Nova and she writes a right, and that's from Kelly, And I'm going to show you picture little baby Nova one
day old. I'm going to swing it around. I'll describe it to you now you you could. I mean, she's a beautiful little girl. She's got a little pink fuzzy blankie and she's got a little white hat. Those little white hats they put on babies, yes, keep their heads warm or whatever, or to know their gang affiliation. I'm not sure. Yeah, And that is it. Thank you very much. That's such a sweet story. Thank you, Kelly, and good luck to little baby Nova and your whole little family.
And that is it for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send your thoughts on names on the back of jerseys or both owners to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.