Here we go with today's Minnesota Goodbye. Today is Wednesday,
June fourth, twenty twenty five. This is I think my thirtieth anniversary, thirty second anniversary at KTWB, And I'm not exactly sure, and it's weird that I don't remember, but I think when you're starting something, it's kind of like, I don't know, you maybe have a baby and forget to like, you know, write down their first word, and then years later you don't remember their first word right, or you know, the first place you ever went with
your husband for dinner, maybe you don't remember. So I don't remember my first day, but I think it was June fourth, okay, because I got here on a Tuesday night, and I came into the station the next day and I watched Steve Cochran had been fired, so it was Lee Olswick and then Michael Knight, the late night guy filling in. I remember him, Niyah, yeah, And so I think I watched them for maybe a day or two,
no longer than that, I don't think. So my anniversary is either the third the fourth seems right, but it also could have been the seventh, June seventh, Monday, Okay.
So are we going to celebrate on the seventh as well.
No.
I mean, the funny thing is I don't I do care, don't get me wrong, but I'm not a big celebrate myself kind of a person. The twenty fifth I said that this was the story in the twenty fifth. Stephen Fallon worked here, and I think Jenny you were here too, here yah, And I said, you know what they're gonna do. And I told Fallon, I said, you know what they're gonna do. It's gonna be a round star party. They're going to bring me out on stage or roll out
of fucking sheet cake. And I said, if they think that's the way they're going to celebrate my twenty fifth anniversary of being on KTWB, I'm going to burn that fucking place down, I said so. And Fallon and Steve they were so sweet and so kind. They said, yeah, Dave, really and not in a dick sort of a way. Dave is kind of jokingly hoping for a bigger thing, and twenty five years is big, whether it's a marriage or whether it's a you know, a job anniversary whatever.
So they threw me a giant party on the rooftop of seven Downtown and we got to invite some people who listened to the show and family and friends and neighbors, and it was really cool.
Yeah you invited me and my mom, but we couldn't come, Oh did I? Yeah? Oh oh.
And what was cool is like nearly everyone whoever used to work on the show was there. Yep, Lena, Angie, Extreme, Jamie, Miranda, Intern John was there.
Came out here for that. That's cool.
Lee Volsvick was there. And it was very It was so very sweet. And I looked around and I was like, Wow, I'm really proud of all the people that I've worked with here.
I have a story from that night that I don't think I've ever shared. Oh so, so intern John was there, and John and I are really good friends, and so we went out. So he was staying in a hotel downtown. We went to the hotel for drinks afterwards with me and him, Tina, I think his brother, maybe a couple other people, and then we went to Deja Vu, the strip club. Okay, nobody was there because what it was a Thursday night or something and whatever.
It was like ten pm. It wasn't super late or anything. We went to the strip club.
I think John threw a bunch of money at the strippers to like dance in front of me and Tina and whatever. Well, I had had like a decent amount to drink at that point, so I shouldn't drive whatever. And John's like, you can just stay in my hotel room, and I was like, I don't know, like maybe I could just uber home. He's like, just it's fine. So I did end up sleeping in John's hotel room. However,
he had a pull out couch, so obviously whatever. But we both said that we would never tell that story because we didn't want anyone to think anything of it.
Like we were both single.
It wouldn't have mattered one way or another in terms of, like, you know, we weren't disrespecting a relationship, but we didn't want the radio people to gossip, like, oh shit, and let me.
Tell you something.
Love John as a human If he ever listens to this, what up? But fuck no, would I ever do anything with John. I love him, but he drives me. I would never I'm not sexually attracted to him. I would never like him in a romantic way. But he's my buddy, Okay, fair enough.
I wouldn't think that you would need to explain that. I'd be like, oh, I totally get it. I mean, you know, I think there was something like that not too long ago. And I'm trying to remember the circumstances. It was somebody who was drunk or something. Oh yeah, it was a coworker and it was at Star Party. I remember this clearly. It was a few years ago. And I'm not gonna say the coworker's name. They don't
work here anymore. But you know her Jenny, and she's very charming and she's around my age, and she got kind of drunk at Star Party and she got a little bit flirty and she was, you know, we were at the Myth and I usually don't go home after Star Party because it's like, you know, midnight, and I got to work the next morning, so I just stayed there at a hotel, a dumpy hotel called the Emerald Inn over Instam Maplewood. Maplewood. Yeah, And I said, listen,
you're drunk. You should not be driving. You can come and stay at my hotel room with me. And I said, I truly, seriously, I'm sincere about this. When you should not be driving, I'll drive you two blocks to the dumpy Emerald In and I'll sleep on the couch and you'll be fine. And she's like no, And I don't know how she got home, but I know she got home safely. But there was nothing weird about it. And I probably would have told Susan, even though that would
have been a weird thing to say. Yeah, so so and so at work slept in my room at the Emerald Inn.
Yeah, I see.
I don't think it's weird either, because I've said, like, to save money, oh, we should share a hotel room with like friends of mine who are married men, and they're like, no, that's weird because I'm a married man. I'm like, oh, I just trying to save money. I wasn't trying to do anything. Yeah.
I think sometimes it can be totally innocent like that. So you fucked in turn, John, Yeah.
So I wasn't.
Yeah, absolutely not. Absolutely. I'm going to get back to him too, because he will message me.
Every titled this episode Jenny fucked into the job. Please do not do not.
He always hears when we talk about him on the show, because he'll text me He's like, heard you guys talked about me today.
When did it happen. He loves to go back and listen.
But there was one day, though, I think Dave, you had said some really nice things about him, so he was curious what you had said. So what I said, Yeah, just like one day on air, I don't know, you were talking about him and just his accomplishments or something.
So he was wondering when we had talked about him.
But there's a good chance that John, someone will tell John we talked about him on this podcast, and he'll be like, He'll text me, Well, John, if you.
Do hear about this podcast, you're a dick. Whoa dick?
Oh?
God, No, I love intern John. He is one of the most grateful people ever. And he he texted me the other day, goes, guess what it was exactly eighteen years ago today that I started as an intern, or maybe twelve eighteen seems like excessive, twelve years ago today, something like that, that I started as an intern. And I'm like, that's great. I'm so proud of John because a lot of interns that you know, move on from
the station. They don't really get into radio. And John is He's got a huge show in Buffalo Low and Deep Buffalo Baltimore and DC, and he's won awards and he does a stand up tour.
You know, he also co owns a restaurant bar like lounge thing now too.
Not surprised, Yeah, because he really he does it all.
Yeah, wanna, I'm probably gonna try to go out and visit him and his co host Shelby. I'm pretty good friends with you, and I'm going to try to get out there and visit them.
I want to see the new spots.
But yeah, John, John is a hustler, and he's also, yes, like you said, a grateful human. And he's also a good friend, like he has reached out to me multiple times in the past years when he knows I've gone through some shit and just like checks in and stuff.
So yeah, he's a good guy. Okay, next email, listening to the Morning Show podcast and the Daily Bailey about skipping work, and I've got a story. The year is two thousand. I'm a freshman working at McDonald's. One day, my friend called to say their dad had four tickets to the King of the Game concert tour with Lincoln Park and pod. The show was that night and something had come up and he couldn't go, so he says, you can have the tickets, and so the first issue.
I was supposed to work that night. I was young and dumb. I did all the thing where you fake puke and pour water in the toilet. My poor boss. They had to know I was lying, but I had successfully called out of work, so they called in and I've never heard that one pour water in the toilet. We invited two other friends and then had started talking to all of our parents to get permission. We lived in Rice Lake, Wisconsin at the time. My parents didn't want us to drive to the cities alone, and they
didn't want to drive on such short notice. It was a weeknight, so we lied. We told our parents the other set of parents were driving, and away we went. Reminder is the year two thousand. We printed directions from map quest and drove two hours in the dark to the big city from small town, Wisconsin. Our parents never found out till we told them as adults. Our bosson McDonald's totally knew. But she was awesome and funny, and I still talked to her this day. Twenty five years later.
Fast forward, Matt and I have been married eighteen years with three boys, and we're talking to our oldest taken our oldest to see Lincoln Park at Target Center in August. So that's a cool full time circle story. Yeah, that was a fun memory to share. Have a great day. Dart lick, Sarah, I'm going.
To use that a throwing water in the toilet thing.
I've never heard of that one before.
I haven't either, Actually, Nah.
I don't think I've ever called in fake sick in my life.
Oh, I've never called in fake sick.
Now. Yeah, have you called in fake sick, Jenny?
Yes to the worst job I ever had, which was a bus girl when I was fifteen years old, and I had to work at like seven every single Saturday and Sunday morning, and I was in I was like a freshman in high school. Yeah, like that's early, but it was. Honestly, it was a really hard job. I was constantly carrying huge bins of dishes. I didn't work out back then, like in a way where I was strong, so I hated that job. I had to wear the diner dress with nylons. My dad worked at that restaurant
for years, so that's why I worked there. But yeah, I definitely called in sick. I think once or twice to that job, and my parents knew like I was lying.
Okay, you see, I've never I wouldn't know how to put on the sick voice, like, yeah, I'm not feeling very good. Is when I all in sick, I'm deathbed sick, and I don't need to fake my voice.
I'm like, anytime I do call in sick, I always think they think I'm lying. They're gonna think I'm lying, even if I'm actually ill, Like I almost came in to work with a freaking kidney infection, but I was like, they're gonna think I'm lying.
She was like texting me and the day before and I literally was like, barely stay home.
No, I'll fine, you don't need to come in tomorrow. We'll be fine.
The great thing about everybody on the show is you're all reliable and you never show up late. And I always say, everybody shows up late once in a while. Everybody misses their alarm or everybody you know forgets to set it or gets a flat tire.
Or car out of the snow.
Dig your car. Everybody's late once in a while. Never have any problems. However, there have been certain people on the show. Jenny and I could name at least one that were consistently late. And but we're not gonna say any names. Fallon, Oh kidding, Fallen was never late.
Yeah, she actually was like the lat later part of her being on the show. She was always in before me and you, Dave, I.
Think so yeah, yeah. Ranger Jessica writes in we love her new Star of the Minnesota Goodbye. What a happy ranger heart. I have to hear such a fun discussion on trees yesterday. To answer Dave's question, the huge cotton woods you see around the metro are relatively not that old. The species here usually live to be one hundred and fifty to two hundred years old, so pretty life short lifespan for a tree, Bailey is correct. They grow fast.
Compared to a burr oak of the same size, the oak would probably be closer to three hundred years old. Oh and now she gives us some cottonwood facts. Sweet cottonwoods are very hollow on the inside. They can hold up to five hundred gallons of water at any time. The hollowness is one of the reasons they were used by Native Americans to carve canoes out of I think
of what a fucking sure. The natives had to carve a canoe because back before they had iron axes, they chisel them out with like a bone or something, you know, or a rock or some.
Probably rocks, because then they can't you just make a you can turn a rock into like an axe, like by you know, chinking away at it.
I don't know that that's exactly.
I mean, that's how they made arrowheads. They'd use a harder rock. Yeah, yeah, to chink away. And that might even be the right term to check away at, you know. Okay, I was gonna talk about arrowheads for a minute, but we're not going there. The bark of the cottonwood tree was used by natives for medicinal purposes like toothaches, and it was later found the bark has the same chemical punk compound that is used in aspirin. Wow, trees are fun.
Tree you all later, Ranger Jessica. Is there anything that you want to hear about from Ranger Jessica? Is there any request you'd like to make about like nature, nature animals?
We all said this on a podcast that didn't end up getting posted because there was like audio fed in the background, And now I can't remember because we all did have a request and I can't remember.
I mean, I like learning about birds in general. I saw a loon once. It was so cool, and I want to see more loons.
I think I think mine was How like, how were mushrooms discovered to be what they are?
Oh?
Yeah, Like I think we talked about this, Like people probably just ate them and experimented and either died or got high or whatever.
But that's a curious thing for me.
Well, you think about anything, like anything that we can eat or can't eat. At one time somewhere in back in the day, Yeah, somebody said, you know what those things bananas? They look kind of tasty. Should we I'm not going to try it? Yeah, well you tomatoes. I think we didn't eat tomatoes until about one hundred and fifty years ago. And I'm not making this up because we thought they were poison well.
Because I think they're in the night shade family. I believe tomatoes are, and so they're similar to other things that you can't eat that are poison Well.
Think about the idiot who had to eat poison ivy for the first time. It's like, hey, Roy, try it oka, or.
Like rhubarb, you can eat the stems. But the leaves are poisonous. Really, I don't know if they'll kill you, but they'll make you sick. Okay, but you can eat the stems.
Is it?
Thanks shout out to our ancestors who tried all of this stuff so we would know what was that able.
Appreciate you.
Here's an interesting email for the Minnesota goodbye. Hold on, I just lost it. Here we go. Kristin writes back with another Rando question. Do you have an app on your phone you think most other people wouldn't? For me, it's Find a Bird, Okay. It's an app that allows you to identify types of birds based on their feathers and various other aspects. I downloaded it because I go on walks all the time with my doggies and I
pick up feathers. Sometimes I don't know what bird it comes from, So that's mine darting and licking at your discretion, Kristin, I have one called the Merlin Bird Finder I think it's called, and that does the same thing. It'll identify if you take a picture of the bird, or if you describe the bird and tell the color whatever where you found it, and it'll give you the bird that you're watching. But my favorite one that nobody else has is flight Radar twenty four to seven.
You talk about that one a lot.
I think it's called twenty four, So flight Radar twenty four maybe is called and it's basically I think it's a paid app, but you can buy a get a free version and if you look up at an airplane, you open up the app, it'll find your location. You'll see that airplane in the sky. You tap on it, it tells you where it's coming from, how fast, how high, and where it's landing, and it's just super thick and cool. Flight Radar twenty four to seven.
I feel like.
All of mine are pretty useful and not like weird at all. I do have one. When I joined the church choir, I cannot read music, period and we would never like go through all of our parts very much, so you'd kind of be on your own, and I'm an alto, so it'd be rough. So I downloaded one called Music Scanner, and I actually think I had to
pay like five dollars for it. Okay, but you take a picture of the sheet music and you say which part you are, and it will just play the part that you sing no kidding, which is actually.
Really helpful when you don't know how to read music. Okay, that's kind of nice.
That's cool, Jenny.
Well, the question is there an app on our phone that we don't really use?
Is no, you don't think anybody else will.
I mean, mine's probably not like that unique.
But there's something called ski tracks and it just records what you've done when you're out skiing or snowboarding. And I love it because it tells you how many runs you've done, your average speed, your altitude, your vertical and my favorite is the fact that it shows your max speed. And I just went to it to see what my max speed was. Ever, guess how fast I went.
On snowboard on a snowboarding.
To say, forty miles an hour?
Oh, you like nailed it really, forty two point six. Wow. Yeah. I didn't think I had gotten that fast. I thought I was pretty fair.
I thought it was like thirties at the quickest. But yeah, So I use that every single time I go, whether it's at Apton or if it's in the Rockies in Colorado.
I use that.
On my old phone, I had one called walk to More Door where it would track how many miles you would walk, and then it would liken it to Sam and Frodo's journey in or the Rings.
It's going to beat you up right now, Bailey.
Over halfway to Mortar.
And then I got a new phone and it canceled out all of my stuff. So I was like, fuck it, I'm not going to try again.
I'm not going to start over re sign into your account. One. No, it was like attached to my phone. Stupid.
Anyway, I got probably cried that day.
I did.
I probably did because I raised so much. They like walked thousands of miles and I was over halfway.
Enough of you know what, Mordor is next one, that's your friendly airline employee. We were talking about bringing weed through TSA and we said, if you know, let us know. So TSA is federal weed is not federally legal, so it is illegal to bring weed through TSA. There's your answer. Okay, you can try, but if they find it, you could still get in trouble, probably depending on the agent that
you get. Yeah, so if you get a friendly agent that does weed or whatever is very liberal, then they'll probably be like, yeah, you know what, I didn't see anything or if you get somebody who wants to be like letter of the law, they'll be like, okay, yep, okay, hold hands up, you're under arrest. They have a great day, and I will see you at the port. So thank you, they said that, being said, I work for the airlines, not TSA or security of any time. But that's valuable information. Thank you.
Ye you probably know more about it than we do. Thank you.
Let's see if I get another one here. There are a lot that are a little bit long, so I'm going to see if I can filter out here for a shorter Minnesota Goodbye. Oh here's a good one. I like this one. This is kind of funny. I had to write in and tell you about how Bailey had me in tears when she started talking about aunt killing Dave or aunt killing an aunt killing Dave with kill Dave's pray.
Aunt.
This came up because there were I mean a thousand swarming ants on one little spot on my driveway and I couldn't tell if they were like looking for something sweet or what. So I went and got the ant spray, and I felt kind of bad because they're just little creatures living their aunt life. Yeah, and I sprayed them and I watched them have seizures, literally have seizures. They twitched and twitched and then they died. And it was kind of because I love little creatures, but I also
don't want an ant invasion in my house. So Bailey made a joke about the ants coming to get me. It was this pall part of the show, but it hit that little hypothetical laugh button. You know that button bury deep inside you only get jokes or a few jokes or situations really hit. It creates one of those laughs where it's involuntarily because your body is just doing it. And then she started talking about Dave season up like the ants and cue the tears. Man, Bailey, thanks for the laugh.
You're welcome.
I pictured it like a honeye shrunk the kids situation and one of them big ants coming for you. And then you're running and going oh and it's coming, yeah, coming.
She goes on to say, and I'll wrap this up quickly because we're running short of time. Have there been seasons of your life where you've laughed more? Do you laugh less as you get older? I'm forty years old. When I think about it, I noticed most of the laughter I day have these days is a socially appropriate contrived laugh. But when I was a kid, I would laugh the big belly laugh. I think that becomes true
maybe a little bit. I mean, you guys make me belly laugh once in a while, But I can count on one hand in the last ten years where I've just lost it so hard where I couldn't stop laughing.
For me, you have to go and find a really good improv group. Improv comedy has made me laugh more than I've ever laughed in my entire life. And I've only been going and watching it for like seven years. But before I started, I didn't realize it existed. And then after I started, I laugh all the time now because I've found like good people who are actually really funny, and I'll be like rolling on the floor laughing.
So got to find it somewhere, Okay.
And that's going to wrap it up for the Minnesota goodbye. If you if anything we said sparked an idea, we would love to hear from you, any comments on anything we talked about today or anything that you want to send us. Just a grab bag of anything you want to talk about, and if you've got questions for ranger Jessica. Send those into Ryan's show at KDWB dot com.