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Dave's Uncensored Bloopers

Apr 11, 202416 min
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Episode description

Things kids don't do in school anymore, is it annoying to have to celebrate people's birthdays?, do humans need love or that sweet sweet a**, and more!

Transcript

And here we go with a Minnesota goodbye. Let's dive right in and see what we've got. Hello, says Stephanie. I've been thinking about where to send my kid to school since she is now preschool aged. I was talking to my neighbor who sends her kid to a private school, so I asked her why number one public schools in our area will not acknowledge any holiday, not even Valentine's Day. So sad, but whatever, I guess not a deal breaker since that's the way things are moving these days. I would prefer

kids be exposed to all holidays from all backgrounds. But that's just me. Oh, I didn't know they didn't do Valentine's Day. I've heard that Halloween scares kids, or a fends mom and dad and teachers don't want blah blah blah. But Valentine's Day? Did you do the thing when you were a kid with a shoebox with a shoebox? Ye, boys and girls all got a Valentine right, everyone got one? I remember Cheryl Manfren. No, it was not a crush, Cheryl Manfred, because you were required to give

every kid in the class of Valentine in fourth grade, Cheryl Manfrind. We did not like each other, and I don't know why. She gave me a Valentine and it said something like b mine, I Heart you or something, and she wrote on there this is not true, so I would know very clearly. Oh, she was a difficult person to get along with. Yeah, and I'm still friends with her on Facebook. But we're just friends on Facebook. We don't really have anything to say to each other. Next

one, she says public schools in our area do not teach cursive. When I heard that, I was confused. Why are they not teaching cursive? If generations don't learn it, aren't they going to have trouble reading older text, reading fancy wedding announcements and understanding great grandma's putting recipes. What are your thoughts on teaching cursive in schools and what other things are you bothered by on what kids are not learning. I don't really know what kids are not learning.

To tell you the true, I don't either. I don't have kids in school. We learn cursive in second grade. I remember making the que was very difficult because a capital Q looks like the numeral two, and I had a lot of trouble with I think the f's incursive, but I don't know why they don't teach it anymore. Maybe if you're a teacher, let us know. I'm going to guess there's just probably not enough time for all the other things that teachers are doing, and maybe they feel it's just kind

of an archaic piece of none. Probably Ill right now, I haven't pre read a lot of these, so we're just gonna have to see what we get here. To the person yesterday asking what to do regarding death, this is the best advice I can give as a financial professional. Have a beneficiary on every account you own. How did this come up on the show yesterday?

Well, someone said that we should have someone on to give advice of things, yeah, like when you die and whatever, And I said, well, we're probably never going to do that one because it's not really a KDWB kind of a flavor, but it is interesting, like what you should do if you don't. They go on to say, if you don't have a will and passed away, knock on wood, your loved ones would have to wait thirty days after they receive your death certificate to even start going through

the process of closing accounts. On top of that, they op I'm not sure what they mean by the word op. They op will have to go to court to prove their next of kin and have to pay the court fees to get it all taken care of. If you have beneficiary ors, your loved ones can simply go into the bank account with their ID and death certificate, close the account. That way, the money left in those account is

one hundred percent theirs and they can skip the thirty day period. I would always use the full legal name of the person you're giving benefits to for better specification. It's the easiest thing anyone can do to prepare for the worst case scenario. Takes no time at all to add one to your account. A will is always a good idea, but generally needs to be written by a

lawyer and notarize, which takes time and money. For a beneficiary, all to do is walk into the bank and add it to one of your accounts. Okay, interesting, thank you, Let's move on to this. One says don't say a name, catch it up on the podcast and thought these topics would be fun to discuss. Topic one Happy Birthday. What's your theory

on people who make others celebrate their birthday. For example, this person who lives in another state will come home on their birthday week so they're closer to family, which inevitably means celebrate my birthday with me, get me a cake and presence, etc. Another gal will schedule her own happy hour so people celebrate with her. In both examples, they have significant others and immediate family.

But I find it so selfish, especially the older I get. They don't celebrate my birthday or maybe send me a happy birthday wish late on my birthday. So why are you so special and making me celebrate yours? I know I can always opt out. I just find it embarrassing and annoying, an interesting annoying, as I'm sure we all have people like that in our lives. I don't have a problem like Foulin. This weekend is like getting

together at a brewery and having a bunch of people come and whatever. And she asked me last night, I'm gonna be in Phoenix visiting and seeing Chase new baby Gwyn. But I don't have a problem. Do you have a problem with people who go I think if they make it too much about me, and you should make it you should make the reservation. I don't know, what do you think I have a problem if it's an expensive birthday outing. But some people have invited me places before and said, I know that

this is kind of expensive. If you're not into it, you don't have to come. And I've said no to those situations, like a really fancy dinner out or something. Okay, but I don't really care. I just say no if I'm not interested. I'm not really the type of person either. Besides the big Burning Man birthday party I had a few year, like two years ago. Oh yeah. Outside of that, I don't make friends celebrate my birthday. It's only something when I've been in a relationship that I'll

celebrate with my partner. But that's about it. I don't have a problem with it either. I think that you know, when you had your Burning Man birthday celebration that was your thirtieth, right. I didn't even think, oh God, look at gin. Not at all. I was like, Oh, that's cool. You know, it's like an occasion to throw a party. I think it comes down to whether you like the person or not. Yeah, and I'm going to guess that the person who lives in another

state that comes home on their birthday. You maybe don't like them so much, but a lot of people they just don't. They're like, oh, well, if you want to take me to Benny Hunter for my birthday, that's great, but I'm not going to throw a big giant party. Next topic from the same person, weddings. Couple in their early fifties is getting married? One's already been, one is not. They're going all out with the traditional wedding festivities, two showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties, both of

lots of people. Why you're not just starting out where you need help establishing your nute household. I find this tachi, but will be forced to smile and attend. I promise I'm still fun, but these things are chapping my ass. Need to run and diddle. I like this one, don't miss it. Need to run and diddle. Keep up the great work. Don't say my name, but I'd love a staff writer sticker, and they're in Wisconsin. I will send one. I gotta get caught up on those.

Hmm. I'm going to only say as somebody who is older that it's like, you know, what if I don't have you've never been married you've never had the showers or the bachelorette party. I'm going to go full out. I'm going to have this because when I was twenty four or thirty two, I did not experience this. I want to experience what it's like. So maybe it's because, you know what, this is probably their last chance, only chance to have this big event, and maybe that's why. Yeah,

yeah, I agree. I'm also I feel like this is the same writer right for the wedding thing. Okay, I feel like I'm very much like this person though, and like their thoughts on a lot of the stuff. I mean, I am all I will celebrate all my friends baby showers, bridles showers, bachelor at parties, weddings and stuff, but I am not a big fan of most of those events. The wedding itself, love it, all the things that come along with it, I am. It's exhausting.

It is yeah, and expensive. Well, you're at the age also where a lot of your friends are getting married and we're well past that age. We get invited to our friend's kids wedding that type of thing. But I you know what, I think that you know, Susan, we got married very cheap, wedding. It was one thousand dollars. I've told the story. We did it in my mom and dad's backyard, and Susan had

a dress. She had a nice dress on, but it wasn't like a bridal gown at all, and it was more of just like, hey, listen, we've been together for a long time, we've got a kid together. But I think Susan felt like she got a little bit cheated out of the big fairytale wedding. And I'd say, if I was going to do it again, I would have given her a better wedding because I think that people dream of that. You know, she had a bachelorette party in a

baby shower. But I think that maybe it's just they're older. It's like, hey, we've never done it before, let's do it. Yeah. Next one, Hello Morning Show, Crewe Dave. My absolute favorite audio I've heard is hearing your radio commercial bloopers. I don't think I've laughed harder at anything else. Could we get a replay of them on the Minnesota Goodbye? I don't know if we can do. We have any bloopers we could pull up easily. I don't have them easily. No, I'd have to put

them through a system to get them to let me do a recreation. Oh yeah, recreation, Hey Stave Ryan for Wedding Day diamonds. God damn it, stupid fuck. Okay, let me try another one. Yeah, hey Stave Ryan, get your carpets cleaned by Zero Res. Call him now and fuck goddamn it, son of a fuck, stupid fuck getting the uncensored ones on the Minnesota goodbye. Yeah. So, but I don't know why that's my reaction. But yesterday I sat in here and I tried to do a

bunch of Wedding Day diamonds commercials. And I don't read a script. I make it up as I read notes. So it'll say like, okay, nine locations in Minnesota and to great reviews on Google, or they have thousands of rings to choose from. So I'll put all these notes mentally in my head and then I'll try to say it. I don't read hardly anything live, so if it doesn't come out right, I don't know why my reaction

is to make fun of myself. But so I'll say something like, yeah, Zero Res, your carpet clean and also get your goddamn son of a fuck God, you stupid, fuck, fucking dumbass, And so I do, and I'm not really angry. That's just what I do. Jenny, my friend over here saves them. Yeah, and then you'll use them against me, Yes, But to be fair, last time we did them, I also had some too, because I had had to do some when you were on vacation. And I do the same thing, not as much with

audio. It's more so if I'm recording a video that I flip out on myself, to the point that I made Andrew leave like a week and a half ago because I had to do a video for a client and I kept screening up and then I'd be like, fuck, God, damn it, and I'd freak out. And he told me once that it upsets him, like it makes him feel uncomfortable when he hears me like getting angry like that,

because I never ever do things like that. So then I get in my head now to the point where last week I just said, are you leaving soon? Because he had to go somewhere anyways, and he left a little early because I just couldn't get it done. And then I was like swearing at myself. And when you do something at home, do you have to go in another room? Like when you make a phone call or when you record audio, do you have to go in the other room? I

do. I don't want to do it around Susie. Yeah. I usually go in a different room and I tell Andrew to go downstairs, and he's always like, I can still hear you from downstairs. I was like, I know, but you're out of sight. Like you're out of sight, so it makes me feel better. She goes on to say, earlier this week, Dave, you talked about why humans need love, and that was I think a really interesting discussion. Do humans really need love? Or do

we all just want a piece of that sweet sweet ass? Okay, valid question? Next one, same email or unpopular opinion. I think instant mashed potatoes are better than regular mashed potatoes. I like either one. They have a both different texture. I say, I just don't like a chunk, so that's why I think instant and you can never go wrong with those. But they're also like so aggressively salty in process. Yeah, but I still love them. I don't mind either one. So interesting. I love the

variety of random stuff. Love you, guys, She signs off. More of a liquor than a darter. Thank you, Katie. All Right, I'm gonna reach home to delete that one. Going through some different ones here on Friday, Hold on one second, all right, I'm gonna read this, and I don't think I've read it, but let's find out. On Friday's Minnesot Goodbye, you were discussing if cash is a tacky wedding gift. Asking for cash is tacky. I believe it's more of a regional thing.

If it's already been said as a president, here's what I mean. In the New York, New Jersey area, they're notorious to gift you with the check, so essentially cash. I live in Ohio and my parents only ever gave a check. I've received invites like Jenny reference to that mention a honeymoon fund, and that's fine. Also you've heard of both those. Yes,

wedding culture is shifting. It used to be that people would wed in their late teens eighteen to nineteen to early twenties and needed everything for a house through their wedding registry. I married at twenty nine, my husband was thirty eight. We already had our housewares, so no need to register for gifts. Because of that, we received cash, but didn't say anything about a honeymoon fund, as we were also established within our careers to afford it ourselves.

Love the show, right, that's from Kaylee. And if you don't know why, I just said, all right, it's an inside joke based on the Old Country Buffet instructional video. Let's see. Okay, No, that is something else Minnesota, good bye. Uh, this is our friend Mike. Hello, it's Mike. Why is that everybody thinks others need to cater to them? I do not intentionally do things to infringe on others. I operate from the perspective that others are not doing things to infringe on me.

The best situation everyone being considerate of others, not making sure everyone is considerate of you. That doesn't mean everything's exactly like you would want it all the time. If we make that effort, what would the world be like? That being said, Oh, I know what he's going off of the meat thing the other day? Remember that which one the vegan runner or whatever? Yeah, there was a next door post that basically in Essen said, I'm a vegan. I go running at dinner time. I don't like to smell

you cooking meat. If you cook meat, number one, you should not Number two close your windows so I don't have to smell it. It's offensive to me. And we laughed about it because it was like, come on, you cannot go through life expecting not to be offended by somebody who has a different lifestyle than you. That being said, he goes. I barbecue cooking by smoking food at lower temperatures using different kinds of woods. Clarification,

barbecuing is not grilling food. That is cooking out. I didn't know, Dave, you've had my broad worst. I think I made a good product. Yep. When I run my smoker, it creates smoke. The scent is carried beyond my own property and in my neighborhood. I've had neighbors text me and ask if I'm running my smoker, and they love it, except for the fact that it makes them hungry. To honor vegan runners request, I will close all the windows in my house when I'm running my smoker,

happy to oblige because the smoker's outside. Okay, got it right, that's from Mike. Let me scroll down and see if I get another one. Going to have to wrap up here real quick. Oh, okay, we'll wrap up and we'll do another Minnesota Goodbye tomorrow on Friday. Send emails to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com, and we'd love to If you bring up random stuff, that's totally fine. You got a request for something, that's fine. You want to comment on something that we brought up, that's fine

too. Send it to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com

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