I got a very cute email here to start on the Minnesota Goodbye. It's Saint Patrick's Day. As we record this, and Derek writes in it said, my son is in third grade and he had to draw a leprechaun for Saint Patrick's Day. And he named his leprechaun one h one point three kd wbs. He has blue eyes, green hair, four foot ten, forty five pounds and he was last scene and then he had to fill in, where's last scene? Last scene eating at a bar? And I think that's adorable.
So about four ten and forty five pounds, that's dangerously thin.
Well it's a leprechaun. Yeah, that's not the kid, that's the leprechaun.
No, no, no, yeah yeah.
Okay, longtime listeners, Second time writer from Katie, just writing to say something I think about nearly every day. I listened to your show relatability during the fallon and later Drake transitions. I thought, uh, I'm not going to be able to relate to anybody new on the show ever again it's all over for my morning show. Lol. Did you prove me wrong? I think relatability is important for a voice you listen to every day think love is blind,
and Dave is an easy one to relate to. It everybody's favorite suburban dad and someone we've gotten to know over the years. Jenny is relatable as a former party girl turn home fitness influencer who's into her own sometimes solo hobbies and Awesome Bailey was an easy one to fit into the gap I as the serial single girl in my thirties. But Bailey is more aspirational than I ever was in her activities and ability to make friends.
Also awesome Vaunt. When I first heard that you were a super young twenty guy twenty something guy, replace it another super young twenties guy, I was nervous. Oh no, he's from the East Coast. Blah, he's gonna be another goofball again. I was wrong. The things that make Vont relatable and successful is he can sometimes be an old soul and a young voice. The way he easily jumps from gen z to spitting seventies TV show references is
so charm. As a suburban late thirties mom, we should have nothing in common, and maybe don't on the surface, but you just have a way to constantly surprise me with your maturity and reference opinions and speaking also awesome any who have a great day, Ryan Show. If this was boring, I don't care if you read it on the show. That is Katie suburban mom in Victoria, Victoria, n K.
I walked to Victoria once, Katie, and it was lovely. Victoria is really nice.
It's cute little town. Yeah. I'm going to send that to you, Jenny, so we can actually read that on the regular show because I like that. You know what's a cute little town that I've been there a few times now was Downtown Hopkins. Yes, the main street Doptown Hopkins is really fucking cool. Yeah, And I've gone there the last i don't know, maybe a couple of months, to play cribbage with my friend Mel on Saturdays, and we went to Monka Beans I think Monga Beans, yeah,
Monk of Beans. Yeah, But they're so crowded that we don't go there anymore because they're too popular. So across the street is a place called bear K Brewing. So I met her there for cribbage on Saturday. And I'm driving down to get gas at the Shell station and I think down the street and I drove past all these cool little shops. Oh, just the coolest little shops and one had ukuleles hanging in the window. Oh, so I stopped buy I'm not going to buy another one.
But I was asking about lessons, so I signed up for lessons for ukulele Wednesday nights. I think I signed up for two months of lessons Wednesday nights.
Did you get you're going to physically go there?
Yes?
Oh?
Wow?
Are you?
Is it like leveled? Like are you taking intermediate? Because you're good at ukulele?
All right now? I mean thanks, but I'm I'm I'm a good advanced beginner or like lower intermediate. But I want to get better. I want to be like, Wow, that's really cool. And I don't know where to go. I don't know what to what step to take next. So this guy, I said, is he a good ukulele teacher? He said, yes, he's a good yukula lately teachers. So yeah, Downtown Hopkins chuck it out. Okay, thank you, Katie. I got to hit de lead on a couple of these.
Here and here we go. Nicole writes in Good Morning. I was reading a book this weekend and came across a joke that was used on your show a few years ago. The joke was you would ask a caller how many people worked at their place of employment, and they were supposed to respond with about half. I've attached a picture of the page with a stolen joke from a book that was released in twenty twenty three. I know it probably wasn't stolen from your show, but I got a chuckle when I read it, and I had
to share it with you. Hope you have a great day from Nicole. Let's look because she has the file here.
It doesn't say what book it is, right, Well.
The funny thing is it's got the wrong orientation, so I can't read it because it's turned sideways. So let me save it and then I will open it up, save and then doing that.
Speaking of like local authors, I remember reading this book that was based out of Minneapolis and it was like a stalker guy who was basically murdering all these women. And I had to stop reading it because it was so specific to like areas I frequent and obviously it was fiction, yeah, but it was just so cepy.
Yeah.
I had to stop reading it because it was like based out of Minneapolis.
I read a book that was like a murder mystery too, but it was set in like nineteen ten, so it was neat that way because they were talking about like street cars and someone got murdered on a street car coming out of going towards Excelsior or whatever, and those don't exist anymore, so at least I could remove myself a little bit from that scary story.
It's kind of cool because street cars used to go into Excelsior, all the way into downtown Excelsior and even passed it. There was a train that all the way went all the way to Victoria and probably passed there.
I wish street.
Cars were still a thing, because they're way more economical and better for like the earth.
Well, you know who did away with street cars the automobile industry. I know, because the automobile industry, Like I don't know all of the deal wheelings and dealings, but people in the automobile industry wanted us to buy cars, not take the street car. That's why every city used to have streetcar routes, but now they don't.
Yeah, and then you could move farther away, and you used to only be able to live in city limits, and then you could only live in streetcar limits, and then once the car was invented, you could live wherever you.
Are and where you wanted to.
True.
So anyway, the book apparently is like, it's a joke that says how many people work at the Pentagon? About half? And it's a joke in the book. So you know what, that was not my joke. I don't know where I got it, Nicole, but it's definitely not a joke that I came up with. I did come up with. How did you find so you listen in Milwaukee? How did you find our show? Do you remember the answer on that one?
No? I do?
What is okay? So, Jenny, you listen all the way in Milwaukee? You're not from here? How did you find our show?
A little tacky?
Yeah, and that was the joke we used for a while now, that one I did make up. So you listen in Baltimore? Yeah, how did you find our show?
Mmmm?
Mid No, No, no, you're supposed to say a little tacky?
Listen? Can I play the game my own way?
No?
Okay, next one.
Follow his joke exactly.
Okay, let's see Dave. Now we're gonna skip that one. That's about it. It's about something I don't really want to talk about on the show. So it's not that it's not bad, I just don't want to talk about it. Stephanie says, had a good time meeting you guys at Dave and Buster's. I was shaking. I was so nervous. I forgot to say I have both of Dave's books, and my little girl loves Dave's Amazing Day. Only after we left it I remember to tell her she had
just met the author of the book. I read Little Dave's Amazing Day to Ava, who is four and a half, and there's little parts where Dave gets his shirt stuck on his head and makes a mess with the jelly at break breakfast, and Ava points and laughs like she's never seen it before. Look he's making a mess.
He's very cute.
When Alison and Ava. When Alison's Ava and Mayeva were the same age. I loved hearing the pregnancy update for Alison during the pandemic, since I was going through the same thing. I promise I didn't steal the name, though I had it picked out before Alison picked it out. I thought I was being somewhat unique by using an older name, but not a weirdly old name. Apparently it was number three on the Social Securities Baby list for that year. Oh well, I still love it, so Ava
came back big. Thanks for being such a great show. Here's some trivia questions for a Dave Ryan super fan. You ready to read some of the other answers? The read who fell in a manhole?
Do you want to stay on the right away? Sure?
Go ahead?
Heay Donna, Yes, your sister, Dave's sister.
Who aerated a random listener's lawn when a bit went bad on the Morning Show? Anybody know?
Yes?
Fell and balin? Yep? Yeah. Who on the show has the most tattoos? Bailey Bailey? Yes, these are because she gives a ton of these.
She does all.
It was kind of it felt like I was meeting a celebrity when I met her on Friday, because she's.
Like, yeah, I'm the one who does all the quizzes.
What When I walked in this morning, I said, Bailey, what do you think of my hair? And it's been an ongoing topic. We're going to drop that because nobody likes my hair, which is basically my same hair but not styled. Yes, so it's just kind of flopped over and I thought it looked good, and Bailey said, no, it's youthful on an old guy and not a good look. And then Jenny kind of agreed. She said it didn't look good either.
I don't really honestly feel like it looks young at all.
Okay, and then Vaught said, you look like you've really given up, like you've let your beard grow and you're not doing your hair. So Bailey said, you look like Burt Ward. Yep, And I said, who's Burt Ward?
And he played Robin in Batman and Robin the like TV show from the sixties, Bert Ward.
So I threw out a fun fact, and this is true Bert Ward, who was probably you know, twenty five or so when he played Robin on Batman back in the sixties. His dick was so big, and I said, Penis when I had polite conversation, but it's fun to say dick. His dick was apparently so big that it would poke through his little leotard shorts and embarrass like, you know, like it was embarrassing to put this guy on TV. Yeah, with his big old hog poking through his shorts.
And I looked it up and it's true.
And they apparently made him take like penis shrinking pills in order to make it all nice appear smaller.
Isn't that bonkers?
That doesn't work. Nobody would ever take penis shrinkings.
I don't know that there's anything that would like. I don't know. I mean, I don't increase your blood flow to your wang.
Yeah, you know, I just give it. I don't give him like some spanks or something. I don't understand. You could probably probably squeeze it in. But man, if that's if that's your biggest problem, that's not a bad problem to happen.
It's not a bad problem to have. And you got to figure that he was twenty five TV show famous. Yeah, had a large hog, probably got the ladies all over the place.
He was a superhero. I always thought he was cute.
I had a huge crush on him when I was like seven years old on Burward.
That's funny that you were watching Batman back then.
We watched a lot of like shows from the sixties and seventies. Yeah.
I was also telling Bailey the story. One time Julie, my ex, and I were sitting into Perkins and if I were in that Perkins, I could tell you the exact booth we were in back when we were dating, and Julie said, well, you know, average penis size is about and she held her fingers and I'll explain it to you about this far apart, so I know you can't see me right now, but that is probably about nine ish inches aparture and Bailey, Julie said, an average
penis is about that big, and I'm like, and she's like, I mean because she knew that I did not fit into that range at all, and so on.
The lower end of the average.
Yes, we joked about that a lot, but I guess Julie's experience arrigance was that the average penis was And if you take your fingers and hold them about as far apart as the top of an eight x ten piece of paper, Okay, would that be about right? No, that's that's twelve you got them to. Now that's the bottom pipe. Kay, you're moving your fingers too much.
No, I feel like she's getting it.
That's would you say that's average? No, Jenny, if I may be as indelicate, show me what average is with your fingers.
I would say, like this, okay, and that's.
About the size of a three by five card, So five inches, would you say five inches as average?
Five? Yeah?
Five to six?
Yeah, five to six maybe, Okay, I don't know. I feel like I don't pay enough attention from all the hookups that I've had.
You don't go out and measure it or anything.
No, I do done there with a laser measure or hold silm.
It's just that like a lot of my hookups were like quick, quickie is the darl Yeah, so I don't really recall everyone's you.
Know, in an alleyway stairwell.
God. Yeah, okay, I think there might be one more email that we may have time to get to. So let me see if I can find it, because I'm not ready. I'm caught unprepared. And here we go. Hello Dave and Crewe. Longtime listener. Really enjoyed the Minnesota Goodbye. For some reason, it's fun to hear radio people cuss and say dirty shit. Now, recently, I was wondering if you were the longest running radio host in the area.
I know Tommy B had his spot for a long time, tom Ornard, but he's been done for a few years. I think you took over for Steve Cochran in the late eighties or early nineties ninety three. The reason I'm riding is because you mentioned having old radio tapes of yourself that you don't know what to do with. There is a local place that will take them. One place that might is TC Media now they mostly deal with video, not one hundred percent sure. Another place is radiotapes dot Com.
They will upload the tapes to the Internet so everybody can listen and enjoy them. That's all I have for now. Keep up the fucking kick ass show. Maybe I'll see you next time you stop at Long Horns Burger House House, dart Lick Lick Lick front side only, okay from Jesse? Yeah, thanks Jesse. I really don't know what to do with all of those now. I will say, I've got an EMAILA can you.
Answer that question?
What's question?
He said? Are you the longest standing host cities?
I think Tom Bernard still beat me because I think he's been off of KQ for a year or two or three.
But like currently, who's on air? Every one?
I would say, even the people over at w CCO, because I think that everybody who predated me a w CCO they are all retired now.
The only other people I don't know how long they've been on, but what about.
Dan Barrero could be Yeah, you could be right.
Close to around the same time as you too.
Yeah. I don't know that you bring that up. I don't think that I am the longest running, but definitely right up there.
Yeah.
So now the next one I'm going to save till tomorrow because it requires a flashback. Jannita wrote in and she said, I think she did a rant about how she was out at a store somewhere and there's a kid calling his mom you bitch, a stupid bitch. You done talking, bitch and bitch bitch, and Jannita walked in and said, you are I am your worst nightmare. You're not going to talk to your mom like that. And so we heard that story, We're like, okay, wow, that's
a great story. Then Juanita said, I ran into that woman at the gas station and she thanked me profusely. Oh, I now have an email from the woman. She said. I heard on a podcast featuring Miss Juanita from December third called I'm your nurse Worst Nightmare. This was interesting to me because I am the woman who had the unruly child in Target. I always wanted to know who she was because she is my hero. And we'll get a little bit more of the backstory. So small world.
Juanita sees a woman in Target whose little kid is berating her one Nita steps in. They both listen to the Minnesota Goodbye. What are the chances? So we will hear from this woman tomorrow on the Minnesota Goodbye? And we'd love to hear from you too. Send your emails in about whatever you want to ask about Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.