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Bigger, Better, More

May 22, 202419 min
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Episode description

Blonde Dave, the NSFW 1/3 rule, was she being petty about her umbrella, and more!

Transcript

And I was just telling Jenny a minute ago, welcome to the Minnesota Goodbye that after the show, I'm going over to a pre k little class to read my book and do a couple of magic tricks. And so I'm looking through my magic trick collection and a lot of them are ones that little kindergarten kids don't They wouldn't get you, I said. I was like, did you have to learn a new one or are you just going to stick with a classic? But then I realized that young kids are they need like the

quarter behind the ear kind of trick. Well, I've got one where I put a ball, like a red rubber ball into my hand and then I stuff it into my hand and I open it up and it's a giant bunny. So kids love little things like that that are very simple and that are cute. So I got a couple of tricks. One of them was Tina used to love it because I did it for Tina one time because we had like a kid's night here at the radio station years ago, and Tina's like,

oh, that's really cool. So I'm doing that one and a couple of more. But reading my book Little Dave's Amazing Day, and so it should be fun and it's very cool to get asked to do something like that. What are you doing the rest of day? I have the joyful opportunity to get an oil change, so I will be doing that. At one point, I am a little overdue on the mileage. How overdo are you? Well, because we just took my car to the north Shore. I'm

probably like twelve hundred miles. Fine, Okay, you're fine, that's what I assume. I've definitely stretched it before. But I just I like bought my car out from this lease, and I want to make sure I take really good care of it because it needs to last me the rest of my life. Yeah, not the rest of my life, but I want it to last a really long time. So I don't want to be that person

that's not taking care of it, you know. And that's true. And I think that, you know, I read that somewhere or heard from a mechanic. That's the suggestion that they you know, of course, they want you to come in more frequently for an oil change because they make more money. So if you work at Valvelen instant oil change, I'm going to tell you to come in in two thousand miles. I'm going to put a sticker on your door, on your window because I want you to come back more

often. But I've or you go two thousand miles over your five. Yeah, but don't drive with your oil light on for too long. Yeah, oil light's not on, right, it's not on. But Andrew did point out that a different light was on when he was driving my car over the weekend, and I was like, I don't know, I think that's on all the time. I didn't even pay attention to that. So I've got a light on in my car that's been there for a year. It's the

engine light. And I took it into the local mechanic that I go to in Chan and they said that one is a BMW specialized light. In other words, to get that one turned off, we can't do it. You got to take it to a BMW dealership. And I said why and he said, because they want you to go and spend money at a BMW dealership. So I've left it on and I stopped going to the BMW dealership. And this is not a rip on them, but the experience that I've had was every time I went in, they would say, oh, well,

you got to get a new ABC. And I'm like really, they're like, oh, yeah, it's about to go out, So i'd buy a new ABC. How much eight hundred and fifty two dollars. While you're at it, you probably should get a couple of new conveyor belts. Conveyor belts. Oh yeah, so how much is that? Well that'll be twelve hundred. Fuck are you serious? So I stopped going to the BMW dealership and I'm not going to say. There's several in town, so I'm not going

to say which one. But then I started going to a local mechanic and they don't do that. Yeah, and you don't know, Yeah, you don't know. You don't know. If you don't know anything about cars,

you're just like whatever. I remember I used to have a Chevy Cruise and it would have recalls all the time, and i'd take it in for the recalls and then they'd be like, oh, well you might want to get this and this and that checked out too, and I was like, I'm good, thank you, though, but I'm going to take my car home. As long as the recall part's done, We're good. No, totally, Because he's like, oh, the gas cap doesn't seal all the way. Eh, well it's a gas cap. That's a bad example. All

right, let's jump into the emails. Here's Leah. She says, I want to say I've been listen to The Morning Show off and on since I was a little kid on the school bus. I didn't listen. I was away at college, but then started back up on my morning commute. Since I recently remembered that my sister and I used to be so curious about what Dave looked like before social media. We finally saw him on a billboard in the late nineties or so, and our minds were blown. I had always

pictured a blonde guy. Oh, I get that. The DJ that I grew up listening to, and I listened to many, I always pictured them as like kind of cool, looking like surfer hair, blonde, whatever. And then I saw the guy on TV and he looked like a normal guy, a little bit nerdy, and I was like, bo, that's him. But once you get used to what we look like, it usually turns out fine. Yeah, but it is funny. Of course you're going to picture what we look like and then But the great thing is now you can

go on social media and see exactly what we look like. And I think a lot of people think there have been people who thought I was younger. Who people thought I was taller, more handsome, blonde whatever. Steve used to get it like a lot of like, WHOA, I didn't know you looked like that hm in a negative way. Not really, I thought he was short. A lot of people some people thought people thought that Chrisco was

black. There were several people that thought Chrisco was black. And you know, you see him online like, oh, doesn't look like what I thought. So if you want to see us, were on Dave ryanshow dot com. Next one. I'm writing in to say that I agree this is from a woman. By the way, I agree with Dave's one third on whether females like anal or not. I would not say I would. I would like to say a lot of women enjoy anal play such as a finger around

or inside, licking, et cetera. This is getting naughty and I wasn't expecting it, but I didn't preread it. Sometimes the penis is genuinely too big and is just uncomfortable, but smaller items or acts can be extremely pleasurable. And I would highly recommend. Some of my friends love it and some say absolutely not. But I would say a majority like some anal play but not the penis, if that makes sense. That is a very matter of

fact email that I was not expecting from Brooke. But SERI I said the other day, I said, my experience is and nobody cares my experience. But I said, we were talking about anal on the show, which is a little bit too vulgar honestly for the podcast, but we'll talk about it once in a while in a funny sort of way. And I said, I have found that one third of women like it, one third will tolerate it. In other words, if her partner wants to try it, she'll

tolerate it, and one third say no. That's my experience. And you didn't agree with that, well, I would say, in my experience, most of my friends don't like it. They're lying. Maybe they're lying. They very much could be. I would say that the friends that I talk about sex with, we have no problem talking about sex, so like, I don't think they would lie about that. So that's why I say, I think more people are probably on the side of they don't like it. Yeah, No, I get it, I mean probably, I don't.

I mean again, nobody wants to really hear me talk about it, So let's move on to an email that says, am I being petty. Now it's a little bit longer of an email, but let's check it out. Don't say a name. I've been listening to you guys since fifth grade on my analog clock radio. Now I'm thirty, still a daily listener on iHeartRadio. Your show, and especially the Minnesota Goodbye is such a bright spot in my day. I love how people love the Minnesota Goodbye. And I'm not

sure why why do people love the Minnesota Goodbye? Why do you think it? Tell me? Write me an email and tell me why you love the Minnesota Goodbye. I'm so glad you do. I think it's just a lot of like unfiltered not like planned stuff. It's different doing a podcast versus a radio show, Yeah, because people usually set they listen to a podcast when

they have time to listen to something in length. Radio often is so like you're in your car for ten minutes as a commuting to take your kids to school, so you only catch a quick segment and you don't always catch everything from the start to the beginning, you know what I mean, Whereas like with the podcast, you're starting it and you know exactly what's happening throughout the

whole thing. It's just it's different. It is is different. We're a little bit more free form, and I love the fact that we're not on a timeline, we're not up against the clock, we don't have to play any commercials, and we can take as long as we want on an email. This won will take a little bit longer. So here we go, So tell me, am I being petty, let's start. I have not pre read this. I loaned my umbrella to my boyfriend two weeks ago.

I had since forgotten about it because it lives in my car. Typically. Fast forward to today. This would have been yesterday. Yeah, yesterday I had to go to my office for an in person customer meeting, which meant putting in extra time to getting ready. I get to work and it's pouring rain. No problem, I've got my umbrella. Oh wait, it's not there. Yeah. After running through the parking lot with my backpack on my head to protect my hair that I spent a decent amount of time on and

still getting decently wet. I texted my boyfriend letting him know I had not gotten my umbrella back along with my charger that I borrowed him. Side thing that I'm also annoyed about. He started in with he thought I had two umbrellas. I don't, and he forgot because I made a no attempt to get them back. It was not really his fault and he has not returned it. Also, he told me I was being petty. Yes, I

had not asked for them back yet. I did sort of forget every time I saw him, but mainly because when you borrow something from somebody, even your significant other, I believe you should be returning it when you can. If if he had gotten my umbrella back to me two days later when I saw him, this wouldn't have happened. So tell me, am I being petty? No, I don't, no. No. When you're done borrowing something like a ukulele, Jenny, you're supposed to give it back. Jenny,

what, I don't know what you're talking about. Like five four or five years ago, during the pandemic, Jenny's like, I'll borrow the land like and I was like, okay, sure. Months go by. Jenny doesn't give it back till finally I'm like, Jenny, do you have my ukulele? And she actually said fuck you and she threatened to hit me. I did do that, but prior to that, I did say, hey, I'm gonna hang onto this for a bit and keep learning because we had

you, I had borrowed it for a bit on the show. And You're like, yeah, go for it, keep it as long as you want. And I was like, but I'm going to It's fine. You know what I've got. I've got a dozen ukuleles at home. You can keep it. It's fine. What does it look like? I don't remember? Do you remember? You remember what it looks like? I mean, it's just brown. It's got a black case, like a padded black case and stuff. But it's pretty basic. There's not only a design or anything on

it. Okay, gotcha? Yeah, probably like a forty dollars ukulele. You're welcome to it. Let's go back to the umbrellas. I think that you're right. I think it's more of like a like a screw up and an inconvenience. I don't think that he was being too much of a jerk for not giving it back, but he should have apologized said, you're right, I should have given it back to you, because you know, nobody

expected it to pour down rain yesterday and it did. Susan didn't want to walk out of her shop to walk to the car, and I looked outside in chan Hassen it was pouring right yea last night, Yeah, yeah, Andrew had gotten home and he had called me from the garage and I didn't see it because my phone's on silent and I was watching TV, and so he had called me in Twenty minutes later, I saw a call. I

was like, did you need something? He's like, well, I just wanted to make sure that the door was open because I didn't want to have to like unlock it and it was down pouring. I was like, yeah, sorry, And I was sitting right by the door. He was referencing, Oh really, I didn't see your phone call. Uh whoop, Sorry about that. Let's see what else we got here. Oh this is really cute. This is from somebody who won tickets for the Shine Down cruise on

they one earlier this morning. They write in Morning, Dave Jenny Vont. Now that I've stopped shaking, I want to send a quick email to thank you for the tickets for the cruise on June eleventh for Shindown. My husband is a huge Shine Doown fan. I'm a huge KDWB fan, so I think I'm more excited to meet you than Shineedown. But Shine Doown does rock too. See you on June eleventh. Thank you again so so much. Have a great day, I know, I sure, am And that's from

Paula. Paula, you know what. You're very sweet to write back. I appreciate that to let us know that you're excited. That's who we want to come on cruises like that, Yes, is people who are excited to go. So very happy you are coming. Next one Amanda writes in and says, I was listening to the afternoon show and I heard the ad for the morning show, Bigger, Better More? What happened to Bigger, Better Blacker? Is that not hr approved? Appreciate you, guys. I can't

even say. I will say that the mystery will be solved tomorrow morning at seven a m. Yes, so be here at seven am for a big announcement. There is a long email from Donna about puppies and dogs, and I'll tell you what happens sometimes when we're reading an email that's really long, is we get about one third of the way through it and we go, this is just not going to work, so and I should pre read these, and I have not got a chance to pre read them. But basically,

maybe we'll try. Maybe I'll try to read it tomorrow. And she does end up by saying ps what another read it suggested? A reader suggested about ginormous Maxi pans and doggie diapers for old dogs really does work. Disgusting, but better than pee everywhere because Josie peas all over and she'll just now squat and peace. She doesn't even care anymore. She's fifteen and you put a doggye diaper and she just peas in it. Now she drips it all over the house. So somebody said, put a Maxi pad in there to

absorb everything. It'll work better. So good tip. Thanks for the email. We're gonna end it there. Wait, I have a question. Yeah, as you brought up, I think earlier this week you're thinking about maybe getting a dog for Josie and for you obviously, Yeah, we thought of somebody said older dogs like puppies, and I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who's a dog lover. She's got three dogs, and she said, maybe get a two year old rescue dog because right now, you don't

have time to train a puppy. Yeah, and you're right, I don't have time. I don't have the inclination to train a puppy. Puppies are very difficult and very frustrating, and some do better than others. And I'm not good at training a puppy. Susan trained all of our dogs to go outside, but you get a two year old dog that's been trained. They're still young, they're still fun, but they're not puppies that like will drive

Josie crazy. Does that sound like a better idea? It does sound good, so you're thinking more on it is what you're saying, not ser We've got so much going on in our life right now. It's honestly, it's driving me a little bit nutty because I've over committed to myself. I've over obligated to agree to do this, to agree to do that, to go to this, to hang out to this and whatever, and because I don't like to say no, because my problem is when I say no, I'm

worried that people are going to go, God, what a dick. Like somebody hit me up yesterday and said, Hey, I'm going to do a freeway cleanup like you guys do. Can you call me so I can pick your brain on the best way to organize a freeway cleanup and how much time and how many people. And I didn't even call him back, And I'm not going to call him back. And the reason I'm not going to call him back is because right now I don't have time to spend twenty minutes on

the phone talking about a freeway cleanup. But I know I feel like a dick force for not calling him back. I just say time answer every question. Oh yeah, And you have to set boundaries. I just set boundaries with someone like recently in my life who I'm very close to that's a family member, because they were asking me for help on something that like I've done my own research on and I was like, okay, hollball, I'll give you a couple tips, but then from here on you have to do your

own research because it's up to you. Yeah. No, that's totally fair. What was it about, can you say or would you rather not say? It was just about some like website stuff. Okay, yeah, you know, and I think that. And I'm not bitching because I'm really happy that people ask me for help and favors. But I complain to Susan sometimes, like when does anybody ever do anything for us? People don't take us to dinner, People don't buy us dinner, people don't come over and do

something whatever. And it's like Susan and I are always asked to go do this, to volunteer for this, to go do that, and it's like, I guess we're very blessed that people reach out to us, but we just nobody does. I'm not whining and crying, but nobody does anything for us. I mean, outside of work, you do things for me, but nobody does anything for us. Nobody says you know, like I don't

know. And it's like I like helping people, but fucking a sometimes got to find some friends that you can benefit from, you know, because it's like friends with benefits. Yeah, well that you find that, but then also friends who just like you could benefit from their job perks. Like you know someone who's super rich and they have a yacht and they can bring you out on their yacht like stuff like that that's what I got to work on.

You know, I will give you one and this is I'm going to shout out this person and she took photos of us last week and she took him for free. And there was somebody who did something for us. Yes, so you know, I guess I should stop bitching and kind of count my blessings. But yeah, I don't know. We noticed that years ago, that like we would take people out and buy them dinner, and nobody would ever offer to buy dinner for us because people thought we were rich and

we do well, but we're not rich. But we go to dinner and people would kind of wait until we reach for the check, but nobody would ever like even buy us a drink. And I remember one time, I think somebody took us out to dinner at dinner and they paid, and we're like, holy shit, somebody bought us dinner. Yeah, And it's not

like we can't afford our own dinner. It's just nice. And you know, yeah, if you and I are going to go out and have like drinks at happy hour, I know you can afford a couple of drinks. That's not the issue. It's like it's just nice to buy for somebody. All right, that's it. Did we give you anything to think about, talk about, reflect upon? And do you want to come on and a comment on anything. If so, send your email to Ryan's show at KDWB

dot com for the Minnesota goodbye. We always love to hear from you. Thank you,

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