All right, here we go with the Minnesota good Bye. Let's see what the mail bag holds today. You know, we used to get get a lot. We used to do a segment called Letters from Prison. Oh and we had a lot of people who listened in prison that would write to the show. Who and you know what, I think, I've got one over here and I'm gonna read it to you and gon'a pull this out. I kind of forgot about this one.
Okay.
This is from Heather, who is in It looks like she's in shackapy. She wrote an actual letter from prison and it says on the outside you ever got a letter from her prisoner before?
No, I haven't.
It has mailed from a Minnesota correctional facility and she wrote this a couple of days ago or a couple of weeks ago. But I'm gonna read. It's long. I'm gonna read some of it. Okay, let's find out what's going on in prison. Okay, Hi, guys, my name is Heather. I listened to the show every morning. I have been for about six months. It's the only thing I look forward to at work. I fold balloons for anagram Monday through Friday seven am to three for fifty cents an hour.
As you probably guess by now, I am in prison, the female prison in Shakapy. I wouldn't have come here. Oh. If I I hadn't come here, I would have never heard of the Dave Ryan Show. Crazy. I know I'm from Ely, so I don't really know about any cool radio stations. You don't get much up there. I will continue to listen to you guys when I get out. Okay, so here's the thing. I have no idea what any of you look like. So here is how I imagine each of you.
Oh this is exciting.
Okay, everyone is always making day for being old. By the way, I know you don't have gray hair now because you were just talking about it, But I can't stop my brain from imagining you with salt and pepper hair. I feel like you're tall, with an athletic build, maybe a slight dad bod, which is totally in these days. I don't see you with facial hair, and you dress in a suit and tie every day, which I also know isn't true. But your voice is given off fancy.
Okay, your voice is giving off fancy.
Before I found out Jenny is blonde. I imagined her a tall, skinny brunette, and for some reason you give me a Bella Swan from Twilight.
Whe ooh nice.
I cannot, for the life of me picture you, blonde Bailey. I imagine you with dirty blonde hair glasses, and you look like a oh this should be good on Frona. I look like U looks like a preschool teacher checks out actually wearing an overall like dress with apples on the pockets.
Oh my gosh.
You wear your hair pulled back and a half pony or secured with a matching apple hair clip. I picture you being kind of short and skinny and kind of nerdy, but in a hot way. You have a fade. I'll bet no facial hair.
Oh that's Vont.
That has to be vond O wait wait wait, okay, uh oh okay, yeah, okay, yes, I picture Vont. Let's go back, thank you. I picture Vont being short and skinny, kind of nerdy, but in a hot way. You have a fade, no facial hair, and you wear a hat. Sometimes. You always got some fly kicks on though you were talking about those cool tan looking air forces, get them, Yolo. I was wondering if you four have a group picture you would take and have taken, it would be possibly
descended to me. Do you get many people that write from prison. No, I don't expect to reply, but it would be awesome to see what you guys look like. I will ride her back. I've had this sitting over here a month and I should have gotten back to her. Also, I'd like to say, Bailey is my favorite girl. You make me laugh every day and you give me the best vibes. I love when you talk about your kitty. Cap If you've got any pictures of your kitty, send them my way.
Yeah, Dave, if you if you send back a photo of us, I'll send you a picture of my cat and you can include.
That, Okay. I'd love to see him's cute widow face.
Oh he's baby.
Every time War of the Roses comes on, I let all of my fellow balloon folders know we all enjoy the juicy drama. As if there's not enough in here. I wish I could tell you guys some of the things that go on in here. I think I can not, just in great detail. Recently, a woman beat another woman with a broomstick because they were doing the Lovin' and the one with the broom found out the other has HIV.
Oh my god.
Pretty crazy. Yeah, it's a lot that goes on here. This place is pretty entertaining at times.
Wow.
I'm not sure if you're allowed to do this, but is there a way you could give the ladies who fold balloons in shot? Could be a shout out and keep up the good work. I'd like to be left anonymous, but I know they would just think that's so cool. We don't get much to look forward to in here. Well, obviously we're in prison. Lol. My favorite bit so far as wore the Roses Jenny's Emo Thremo former Emo Girl for sure, Waitning song Wednesday and the new sound effects bit.
I really love that one. It's fucking hilarious. And when Dave does his Clinton impression, I think you guys should do a talkback Tuesday of people doing their best impressions of famous people. Maybe you've done that already, but do it again for sure. That's not a bad idea.
Yeah, I'll write it down.
Can you do an impression of anybody? Jenny st Jimmy Stewart is pretty legit? Who Jimmy Stewart.
Oh my, Jimmy Stewart. Yeah, like, do you want the moon, Mary, Well, I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. I do that, and then I have like Fran Drescher because she's what she Oh, Chandler Chandler Bang. That's not Frank Jesha, but Chandler Bang's girlfriend. Anyone who's got a Jessey accent and is like a skinny fashion icon. I can do one of those.
Okay, yeah, I do. I think I do a good Mickey mount, but nobody agrees.
Oh, hi, Many, that's awful. Huh, that's awful.
I could do.
It's pretty good. No hot dog, Oh Many, Oh that's.
Better than mine dog. In my head, it sounds pretty good, though, Mickey Mouse. I recently got into cosmetology school. I start the end of December, so i'll be done folding balloons, which means I won't be able to listen every day anymore. Sad face. But on the brighter side, I will finish my time here and leave with a hair technician license.
Cool.
They offer many good programs here. You can even do college classes and get your Associate of Arts degree. Honestly, if I wouldn't have come here. I'm not sure where I would be. I'm participating in AA meetings every week. I got my ged and I'm working on my mental health and physical health. Wow, I'm become the person I've always wanted to be. I plan to be a contributing member of society when I get released. I thank you guys for helping me along with my prison bid. You
really do help my days go by faster. The Dave Ryan Show gets me through the days, even on my worst days. You four put a smile on my face. Keep doing what you do. I'm becoming a huge fan. I hope to someday meet you, maybe at the State Fair. You guys rock. Your friend Heather ps, it is two chugg is and one chew choo. So we ask, is it how many chug is? How many chew choo? Yeah,
she says it's chug a chug a chow choo. Okay, Now, some people go chug a choo choo or chug a chug a chug a chug a choo choo.
Mine's a four chugga chugga chugga chugga choo too.
And here is the addressed to reply, and our email gets scanned we get copies of letters and pictures. I know this to be true because my nephew in prison asked me to send him pictures of sports illustrated girls in bikinis, and there's certain ones that he liked, and he's like, he said, send a digital picture because if you mail it, it will get scanned and it will be in black and white. Yeah, so that's interesting. So they don't let you actually receive interesting for those they
get scanned. So anyway, that was really interesting. I read that letter the other day and I forget got to read it on the radio, but I think we should read it on the radio.
Yeah, we should definitely give the ladies who fold balloons at Shokpia.
I want to know more about folding balloons.
What does that way?
What does that mean?
Like balloons for I can't even imagine, like the big fat balloons that you put helium in. Maybe they have to be folded to put in a package. I don't know. Interest maybe yeah it could be. But good for you all the other stuff that you accomplished, like the cosmetology school. That's great.
And seriously, thanks for having such a positive attitude. And I'm really glad that we help you get through the day. All right, let's move on, Carmen writes in via email, Happy hump Day, guys. So today's am I a jerk?
Me?
Has me heated? This was the one where a guy was asking us whether he's a jerk. He is divorced and he is living with his two kids, you know, like shared custody and his new girlfriend, and his ex wife is annoyed because his girlfriend is in their Christmas card photo with the two kids, and the ex wife is like, you have not known her long enough. I don't want my kids in that picture. And he's like, I live with her, of course I'm going to put
her in the Christmas card picture. Carmen goes on to say, I am not your traditional ex wife. And when my ex and I split up, I told him we will not fight and I'm not going to fight over materialistic shit because we still got to raise our son and I will never hate you. Fast forward to today. My son is now twenty three. His mom and dad are friends, His dad and stepdad our friends. We raised him together.
Did we argue, yes, did my current husband have to mediate, Yes, But at the end of the day, we're still a family. I will have my ex husband's back till one of us dies, and vice versa. This woman needs to learn to accept the girlfriend, get to know her, and maybe jump in the picture and show the world co parenting can work anyway. Merry Christmas, my beautiful friends and little sassy bitch Dave. Thank you Carmen, she's a friend of
the show. So next one, Charis writes in, I rarely write in this frequently leave, but I felt I had to call Dave out on something I wrote in on Monday, and Dave only read part of my email and skipped the rest. So what you skipped over day was me telling you guys what I did at the Bloggio. When I wrote in about maternity to leave a few months ago, I mentioned I worked at the Bologgio, and you guys were trying to guess what I did there. So to end the suspense, I was a cashier in the poker
room from two thousand and five to twenty twelve. There was no breaking arms or fingers. I do, however, have many interesting stories from my time there, and we'll be happy to share the next time you guys have an event. I hope you read this, and happy holidays. To you all, all right.
I wish she told us she was a showgirl. That would have my mind would have exploded.
Can I tell you something. I used to work in Las Vegas. I used to live in Las Vegas. My first radio job was in Las Vegas. I did the morning show and there was a woman who did all nights on the weekends, and she was also a show girl at the Tropicana. Yeah, And it was interesting because she was a normal looking woman, just tall. She was tall, and I never I could I can't say she was skinny because she always wore like sweatpants and baggy clothes.
But she would get off work at the Tropicana and then she would, you know, I don't know if she worked on the same nights, but she would come to the radio station and she was the all night DJ. And she was very ordinary looking in that you would never look at her in guess showgirl, right, but then.
When she puts the makeup on, in the head dress and all that.
Yeah, and she was normal, kind of quiet, never really had much to say, but yeah, she was a showgirl. And I don't know anything else about her life at all. Didn't you know a show girl whose name was Lola.
Yeah, and she had feathers in her hair and a dress that went down to.
Their down to wear down there, down there.
Yeah, and she did the cha cha and did marangue.
I think, I think the marangue.
Yeah, but then like her lover was shot.
I think, oh no, one day, well what happened to her? Then it was rough after that?
Yeah, yeah, I can't remember exactly.
Think they she would sit at the bar and drink herself like half blind.
Yeah, that sounds accurate. Yeah, I mean much.
She lost her youth, she lost her boyfriend Tony, Yeah, and then she lost her mind mind where she work?
She well, she was a show Well, her name was Lola. We've established that she was a showgirl. The Copa though was yeah, yeah, what a great place.
Don't shake your head at this bit. This is a good bit. Okay, don't shake your head at this bit.
Cabana. If you don't know that song, look it up because Barry Manilow is a national treasure.
It really is a national treasure. Don't say my name, okay. Hoping for a suggestion. I've applied for a position within my company. The company does social work around the Metro area, and they just added a contract with a new country. I applied for the position and was oh, county, sorry county, and I was offered the position. However, it asked for a wage requirement. I stated more money than what I make now. I think I put fifty seven one thousand
I currently make fifty two. Wages were not discussed in the interview, So how do I ask about it without seeming rude. I know it's not a financial based show, but I think Dave has helped others advocate for proper compensation. I've never negotiated a salary before, and my family won't be of help regardless of what they say. I will take the position as it is closer to home, but if I can get a bit more money, that would
be great. The new contract is starting with myself and one other social worker plus a supervisor currently positioned as about forty social workers, so we'd be learning all the new county process as rules, etc. I'd be up for promotions. The contract grows in the county, and that would lead to pay increases. Thank you, Okay, so let's go back. They do social work and on the initial application it asks for a wage requirement.
Yeah. First of all, congrats, on getting that job.
Great job, Yeah, he says, I currently make fifty two thousand, and I think I put fifty seven. Well, you are absolutely entitled. Is the first word that comes to mine or deserving to ask for a salary requirement.
I've always been told to ask for like five thousand dollars more than what you make, if not ten, okay.
Sure, And the worst they can do is say no. And sometimes they have more budgeted than what you think. So if you say you know, let's say you I don't know, the first thing you do is ask what the job pays. And if they say, well, it pays fifty two, you say, oh, well I'd really like to make fifty seven. They'll either say well it doesn't pay that or they'll be like, yeah, I think I can
do that. Sure, but you can ask them what the job pays, or you can say, you know, my salary requirement is fifty seven and then might go oh, well it only pays fifty two, And you can go, okay, well can you do fifty five? Right? Yeah, we can do fifty five.
Yeah, so she can negotiate a little bit.
Yeah, there's no reason ever to settle for the salary that they give you. I'm going to tell you a quick story. When I got my first morning rate job. I was twenty one years old and I was making I think maybe one thousand dollars a month, which back then was enough to live on. And so I got a job in Las Vegas. They asked me on the phone, what do you want to make? And I said, oh, remember I made one thousand a month, maybe eleven hundred. I said, oh, fifteen hundred, and the guy went, who if? Okay,
let me check, and I thought, I blew it. I'm not going to get the job. He calls me back the next day he's like, yeah, fifteen hundred, Yep, we can do it. So I'm making fifteen hundred dollars a month, yeah, which is eighteen thousand dollars a year. Now. This was a long time ago, and you could live on that pretty easily. And I'm driving around with the boss's assistant. One day. He looks over at me, and I'll never forget the look on his face. He goes, you're such
a dumb shit, and I said why what? He goes they were ready, he had an accent. They were ready to pay you thirty thousand dollars a year, Oh my god, and I asked.
For eighteen so that a they saved a bunch of money.
Because I didn't know. But I didn't give a shit. All I cared about was I got this great job and I could live on this. Somebody once told me, they said, oh, fifteen hundred dollars a month, you're not going to be eating peanut butter. And it was like wow. And like I said, fifteen hundred dollars a month back then, I don't even know what would equate to now. But I was single and young, and I didn't have expensive anything. Yeah,
and my car was paid off. It was from my dad, So I didn't I think one of the persons, you're gonna get a great job that you like, and you're gonna it's gonna be closer to where you live, so that's gonna be a big plus right there.
Yeah, I save on gas money.
But yeah, negotiate a little bit. There's nothing wrong, nobody will. People hate hate negotiating. That's why most people accept what is given to them. I think that's one of the reasons why that women make less than guys. For many reasons. One of them is women are are conditioned to be less assertive.
Would you say, yeah, for sure, just like yes we're bitches if we're a sort of well right, but.
I think that women are just the demure, be more demure.
Well, I wouldn't ask for I mean I would say like, oh, I would like this much money, and if they're like, no, we can't do that for you, I'd be like, Okay, it's fine.
Well, and I think some I've been through that too. It's like, uh, where did I go one time? And I asked for like and they're like, no, this is what the job pays. I was like, okay, and don't remember anyway. Let's move on to the next one. And good luck with that one. This one's fare longtime. No talk, don't say my name, it's your girl, and then she says her name right away. Few thoughts to share today
for your Lovely podcasts. First, regarding the there I Said It segment, I just wanted to share a there I Said it I figured out today on my commute home from work. Just because you spent nine to ninety nine to put a dumb ass baby on board sticker on your car, does it make me hate you any less for driving twenty miles an hour when entering the freeway. What the fuck there? I said it? Also, what's with
people not accelerating on the entrance ramps? Yeah, that's an acceleration lane, not a stop and look over your shoulder lane.
People like full stop on it, Like, what are you doing? This isn't a yield you just go.
No, you're supposed to look over your left shoulder, gauge and plan and accelerate. And they give you plenty of time to accelerate in normal traffic conditions, So you accelerate. And it's your job, not the people in the lane to your left, to fit you into the traffic. Now, if they're kind, they might slow down or maybe even speed up or get in the left lane to let you in, but it's your job.
Just to plan that match their speed.
Yeah yeah, and accelerate and plan the way to get in PSA everybody, it's a ramp to get up to freeway speed. Good lord? AnyWho? One last question wondering if you guys have any advice for keeping things spicy in a long distance relationship, mail them your underpants? Well you got anything better? I don't know what do you got?
Snapchot?
I don't Jenny, Sorry, I was reading an email about Christmas wish. My brain's all over the place today.
All is the question, how do you keep things spicy in a long distance relationship? I said, mail them your underpants.
Oh I'm ex I mean I was going to say, just you got to send some nudes every once in a while.
Yeah, Oh, take like polaroid nudes. That's like classy if.
You do it. I don't know why would you do that when you get a phone.
Because you're like phones dime a dozen. But if you send it in the mail, polaroid nudes and then I don't know, spray them with your perfume.
But a bing but a not a terrible idea.
Yeah, it sounds like a book. I'm writing a book here.
I would say, make a plan to be together frequently, because I think one of the things that kills a long distance relationship is I'm only going to see you once every four months, and then it's like I want somebody that I can see all the time. Sure, and I know that it's like you love each other, you want to be together, blah blah blah. But make plans to see each other as frequently as you can. Therefore you have something to look forward to and but that's hard, or.
If it is once every four months, like make a plan for that four months rather than just like, oh, I can't wait to see you and then you show up, you see each other and you're like, okay, now what should we do? Like make a concerted plan? Okay, Like if you make the plan, then you can be like, oh, in four months when I see you, we're going to this ben and breakfast and you know what we're gonna do together. We're got a good, freaky Okay.
If anybody to talk like that, I'd be like, no, I'm gonna that's how I write.
Yeah, that's cursive.
Yeah, that's cursive. Okay, let's see here next one. I'm a longtime listener, first time writer. I hope to write more as I come up with good topics, which brings me to my topic for the day, The new way to sing the alphabet song. Have you heard it. I'm a new mom to a six month old named Mia see attached photo to melt your heart. She is adorable and I've been singing to her all the typical baby songs. Recently, it's pointed out I'm not singing the alphabet song. The
right way. Specifically, the lmnop part has changed because we did this a couple of months ago, because kids think that element op is a wor is a letter. So this prompted me to look up the new alphabet song on YouTube, and after listening to it, I've come to the conclusion that it sucks and I will not be singing it that way to my daughter. I get it, it's to help the pronunciation, but it still feels wrong
and I can't sing it that way. I have attached a link to the new song on YouTube, but feel free to look it up separately because I'm always wary about random links. Anyway, it brings me back to my original question. Have you heard it before? And how much does it suck?
Yeah? It sucks.
Okay, I'm going to click on the link. I totally trust your link, and I'm going to turn the Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's getting ahead of me here. I'm going to wire this through the right channels so you'll be able to hear it as I play it. And it just takes a couple of button pushes and switches being switched, and then I got to click on this and then I think we're ready. One second. This is the best part of the podcast. Here, well, here it goes.
B c d e f g h I j k l m n O p q r s t u v w x y z A trashy c h e f g h I j k l m n O, p q r s, t u v w x y z.
You know, I don't think it would be that hard to re learn it. And if you got the fresh mind of a three year old, that's going to be new to you. So I can see one side of it. But at the same time, fuck you now. I say that to get a shot out of you. Seriously. At the same time, millions of kids and generations for generations have gotten by and learn their alphabet perfectly well, because you don't know that it's element op is one is different letters, LP the spy.
When you learn it, you just you learn the different letters. You don't just learn the alphabet.
Song and you're not going to use those letters at two years old, right, not. So by the time you realize that it's not element op, then you're you're old enough to realize to write. By the time you're old enough to use them, you're old enough to realize it's not one letter. So I think it's putting a solution for a problem that doesn't exist exactly. And I don't know. I'd say, yeah, it's just weird. It's like kind of like writing with your left hand, you know what I mean,
if you're right handed. I don't want to. I don't want to and it feels weird.
Let me live.
So thank you for that one. And honestly, I think that is all the time that we have for now on the Minnesota Goodbye. I love the randomness of the topics. Oh and I just deleaded her email and I got to send her a staff writer sticker, so make sure that I do that. Thanks for writing in. If you have written in before, you've got a staff writer sticker. If you've written before and didn't get one, write in again, and if we use your email, we'll send you a
staff writer sticker. Send it in to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com