Episode 16 🌸 From Bestie Bonds to Tinder Tales: A Heartfelt Discussion

Well , I went to a content creator and I was like I need to spruce things up a bit . Now I just feel like the introduction music is like kind of like I don't even know if I was to enter a boxing ring I would come out to that kind of a song . You know , it's like empowering . That's the vibe I went , but it's kind of a little bit country Like .

I feel like I should be wearing cowboy boots with like those what do you call those things that are on the heels stirrups or something that make that clinking noise . What's everyone been up to ? It's been seven days . I know I left you on a heavy note with that last pod . Listen , lots didn't happen right with that one .

I know in my head I have these great topics , but what actually comes out of my mouth is two different things and if you know me , you know that that's just what I'm about . So a lot of feedback was that people didn't actually think of those things before . Now and now they're just like super hyper aware .

And I don't want to inflict fear Like it was nothing to do with that . It was more just like you know general topics If people don't listen or watch the news or you know all those kinds of things just to sort of be a little bit more conscious and aware and I know it's a terrible thing to watch the news , I get that and they weren't really news things .

It was just you know how you can kind of do things differently . I don't know it was weird , but anyway , nothing worked that day my dashboard , my intro music I was stressed it came out super fast and rambly , kind of like I was waffling on .

So I took a step back and I was like I need to enjoy potting again and just take it back to topics that everyone wants to catch up with Danny and listen to what's been going on basically . So that's where I'm at with this one and especially for , like my worldwide people , I have family and friends in New Zealand , australia , the States and the UK .

That's genuinely where they are . So I just I love the fact that I'm getting such great feedback from everyone around the world . That is saying , you know it's , it's special because you don't see a lot on social media and I definitely , as I've gotten older , turn to like a recluse mode where I don't feel like I need to post as much as I used to .

I'm not in another country where mum needs to keep an eye on me , which I'll get to that shortly . I actually do have a portion I want to talk about , that about . But you know I used to be in Australia and posting every month what I was up to so people could join in and everything else .

Now I'm literally living in this like beautiful quiet community and I just , you know , head down , bum up and get shit done . So there's nothing to talk about .

But in saying that I am seven no , actually , well , six days away from going to Auckland with my bestie , and if I refer to people in my pod , which I feel like this one is going to be quite a friend related pod , because you know I've had a lot in the last seven days to do with my friends that are quite , it's going to be a bit of a pod about my

friends . Just know that , like I have sort of decided not to mention their names just because you know .

If you know who I'm talking about , yeah , good on you , but I will let them sort of , you know , come on the pod if they want or , you know , reach out and say that I can say their name , but for now I'm just going to refer to them as besties or friends or whatever , and they're all very equally a big , huge part of my life .

So this is mostly going to be about you know what we've all been up to lately and then , starting that you know , my first event from my budget that I was putting money away is in seven days we go into Lizzo , me and a good friend . I mean , she is like the star of my life .

I'm so excited I've actually stopped talking to her because I'm like we're going to be together for three days . So I am all for like just drinking , eating , catching up , doing all the activities , going to a Lizzo concert using my budget money , my savings .

I told mum the other day what I was actually , what I'd actually saved , and she was like you're away for two days and I said , susan , anything could happen , you know , and I just don't want to be caught short . So if I come back with money , that's just going to roll onto the next event and that's exactly how I planned it .

So this , this event's not anything . It's in New Zealand , it's New Zealand dollars , it's totally fine . But just know that I've definitely overcompensated , because it's not every day you get to go with your bestie up to a concert and you know , I went to Electric Avenue with her specifically and I know exactly what she's like . She's just the best .

So I am so happy and excited . We haven't even talked about what we're wearing to the concert , which cracks me up , because normally I'm hyper organized , I am kind of . But I feel like this is going to be one of those things where I get to the hotel and I just have like a range of outfits and she's just going to pick for me .

But we've also got such great things planned in the lead up , so I don't think she knows that . Well , no , last Thursday I kind of said that I was going to plan some things . She is not a planner and it's .

It's a beautiful thing when you're in your 20s and you can just be so frivolous with your life , but for me , I've always been one of those people that loves just being excited about something because you've thought about it . It's like I love choosing hotels , I love choosing flights , I am all about everything that comes with the upgrades and the you know .

Like I said to her for Bali , I love choosing hotels in Bali because I get excited about the swim up bars and you know , like the happy hours , you know the things you deep dive into . She will literally wheels down on a place and , just you know , book a hotel when she lands in that country . And I used to be like that .

But now I'm older and I think mom actually said the other day in the car I don't think you'll like that anymore , because we used to do that and I think you have like PTSD from being too free and I was like I don't even remember feeling like I could just turn up somewhere .

The one time that I probably was spontaneous was when we landed in Vegas on my second trip there and we won in the casino and we upgraded our hotel and we literally just put our finger on a map and just booked a hotel , left our hotel in the dust and just stayed somewhere else and we didn't know where we were staying .

I was like I know that it's central on the strip . That's about it . But yeah , it wasn't a bad choice and I just think I admire her for her freedom but at the same time , like I I don't know I need to be excited about things . So , going up to Auckland , it's nothing major ,

it is kind of . For me , because I don't tend to spend a lot of time in major cities and because it's been seven months since I've done any shopping , I am a little bit excited . We're not there to shop . We haven't actually talked about , you know , going to a shopping center or anything and , quite frankly , we haven't got luggage space for that .

But it's just one of those things where you get to hang out with someone and just , you know , eat and drink and catch up , and that's that's me in a nutshell 110% .

So I am just so looking forward to this and , who knows , I might take my microphones and get a little bit drunk and see if she'll come on a podcast that we could record from our hotel room at like two in the morning after we've ordered Uber Eats , because you know we don't have Uber and Cromwell . I have these little plans , but don't tell her that .

But yeah , so my Tinder update is a bit of a doozy ? I don't know . I'm just one of those girls that , like I'm , I actually have my head in the sand when it comes to males . And I'll give you an example .

So on Saturday , when I didn't go out , mom actually we had a couple of wines at home and Mom said to me can I have a look at your the guys on Tinder ? Because she was just like do you know everyone in the area ? And I was like , not really . Like I got rid of all that fluff when I first logged into Tinder .

I was I logged , I made a Tinder quite late at night so that everyone that I knew was potentially asleep so I could just swipe and get away from all that shit . So there was no one that we really knew Well , she wouldn't anyway . And she said to me I can't believe this , I can't even believe I'm telling you this . These guys are quite young .

Why are they so young ? And I said I don't know . I just set it up and I just left it and I didn't touch it again . And she said can you not change the age range ? And I was like I don't know , susan , I've never used this bloody thing , like it's literally been years . And so I went into settings . Oh my God , you guys , I'm shocked .

The age range was 18 to 30 . No wonder I was like dealing with stupid . You know what do you call it taglines , the children version of like a welcome tagline . When you make a tinder , you can like lure people into your profile with something funny , something stupid . Bitches love sunset , it's all that kind of shit .

No wonder I was seeing so much of that , because that's where that younger generation's mind is at . So anyway , I changed it and , oh God , it's such a world I changed it from . I think the minimum was 30 , because I'm at the other end of 30 now , so 32 , I think it was 45 . And even then 45 is the stretch like 45 years old . What am I doing ?

Like I'm scared , and then I don't . She was just having a look and I thought , oh yeah , I'm going to tell you . I said to her just don't swipe left , because it was right , I don't want to end up with all these old men in my tinder . And anyway I didn't do anything about that .

The next morning I woke up and I had 64 new likes and I just was like Susan . But I don't really have the best of luck when it comes to online dating , and that's because when you do that , you can put up like a bit of a facade and it's not actually real life . I was talking to a guy everything was fine and dandy .

I was actually like preempting a date this week . I was like , okay , well , we could actually catch up this week . You know , we've got no long weekend holidays , no one's away , and I had a flatmate back in the day when I lived in Sunshine Bay who she used to , on online dating , check out someone's social media before she even committed to a conversation .

I'm not like that . I'll give you the benefit of the doubt so you can have a yarn . The thing is is that I actually looked up his social media and he was in a relationship and I was just like what is wrong with men ? I had just I don't know .

There's like this weird thing going on where everyone wants a committed partner , like someone that they could marry , but also something that they could , like , take to a hotel room and just sort of get their rocks off with . It's crazy , and there's probably females that are exactly the same . I'm definitely not eliminating that from the picture For me , though .

Maybe I am just old fashioned and thinking that , like guys are , you know , dedicated to you and you only like , where are the guys that just love one person and not thinking that you know they could get away with anything else ? It's really annoying .

So blocked and deleted that guy and I just thought , oh , you know , throw my toys out the cot , to be quite honest . And now it's like Wednesday and I've got a few messages for this new batch that we swiped on on Saturday and I haven't touched because I'm just like , do I want to even like keep going with this ?

Anyway , I sort of downloaded Hinge , which is the kind of a more open version than Tinder . So Tinder , somebody else well , you swipe on someone and there has to be like a first move . Hinge is weird because people can like and comment on your profile in different parts , like a photo or a comment or something like that , and they can give roses .

And I was like , okay , so I made a Hinge and did the same thing stayed up late , made sure no one that I knew was awake , swiped on everyone I didn't want to see , even made sure the age range and the location was like perfect , because I'm not doing that again . And all of a sudden .

You know , I woke up Sunday morning and I had heaps of like messages and comments and roses and everything else . There was a picture of my cat which I was like okay , guys can have pictures of dogs , I'll have a picture of my cat . And there was like weird stuff like oh my God . Some guy was like , can you bring your cat to the date ?

And I was like , oh my God , my cat doesn't leave the house , like she's old . But more to the point , one other guy was like I'll feed your cat five kilos of carrots if you come on a date with me . And I'm like what is wrong with people ?

So yeah , I've taken a step back from that , not in a negative way , I just like it's not , like it doesn't align with what I'm doing right now . So we'll go to Auckland and we'll just see what's up there .

Maybe , I don't know , there is a lot of different people in the Queenstown region at the moment , so maybe it's like overflow from the long weekend , I don't know . So we are putting a hold on anything to do with that , because it's just infuriating .

I can't start something and like feel open to discussing anything with people that are like committed relationships and , to be honest , he's not even like the first one that I've come across this year . I would say three or four that I've started talking to . I've eventually found out about long term partners and I've just had enough , like what is going on .

Imagine if that was me .

I was in a long term relationship with the love of my life , committing everything , just , you know , he is the battle and end all and then finding out that he's like skipping off , you know , saying that he's going to squash practice or go for I'm only saying those two sports , because that's what I know the guys in my friend group do , but it's not that .

But you know what if they went off to a sport ? And then they you know , we're actually secretly having a wine with another female . No , oh , can't deal . If you're into that , good on you . You've literally got the best trust . I just don't . I want , like Jason Momoa , to be mine and only mine . Like I'm not sharing a guy far out .

What's wrong with like no ? So I have gotten to the bottom of my like gym stuff . I suppose I don't know if I've told you guys , but I do keep all my gym supplements in the dishwasher at my house . We've never turned the dishwasher on .

It's a house of about six years old and mom got the shits because I was keeping all of my pre workout and protein powders on the kitchen bench . So she told me to keep them in the dishwasher , which is crazy , because in Australia , I was the carry from sex in the city and I used to keep clothes in my oven . That's how much I didn't cook .

So keeping something in the dishwasher is in a major for me . However , I have gotten to the bottom of everything and because I'm not buying anything , I have like not seen any specials , I've , you know , removed all those emails .

So , in New Zealand , when you buy protein and all that kind of stuff from nutrition warehouses , genuinely they put like samples and all that type of shit in the delivery box as well .

Over the space of like two or three years especially when I was back doing keto in 2020 , I had built up quite a lot of samples that I was like , oh , you know , one day I'll get around to . In the past , like two weeks , I've been dabbling in those samples and let me tell you , oh , there is some really bad ones .

If you have like good protein and good pre-workout in your lineup , honestly don't try anything else . It's not worth it . This morning I was at the gym . I swear to you there wasn't either enough water in the shaker or that's just genuinely how it tastes . But it tastes and smells like burnt hair , like don't ask me how I know what burnt hair tastes like .

It's just not worth going down that path . But I almost like spewed it up because I was like , oh my God , how is a company selling this ? So that's where I'm

at with that . I'm actually going to just see this next week through with my trip to Orcs and then I'm going to buy just what I know .

It infuriates me that I sort of put this stuff on hold because of my budget , but I just wanted to get everything that I used to have out the door because I was just buying and buying and buying and not using what I had . But this is not worth it . It is not worth drinking shit . And I'm also exactly the same with my shampoo .

I know I said it last time I've run out of shampoo . It's now been two weeks . I'm still just using all the samples that not samples as such , but when you home die , you're here , they come with treatments and conditioners and shit like that . I actually genuinely haven't had any shampoo in two weeks , which is crazy .

And mum says , oh , you can use some of mine . I'm like I'm not being a tight ass . I've just been to the supermarket and seen how much shampoo has gone up in price and I'm like putting my foot down because A I shouldn't be buying a supermarket shampoo and conditioner anyway . Like that stuff will just ruin your hair .

But I actually was just more or less interested into those shampoo bars that look like a bar of soap and then I saw that one was $18 , like $18 . And I thought , holy shit , like I didn't even know if this is going to work on my hair , let alone almost $20 for a shampoo . So I thought about it .

I was like can I wait till I get to Auckland and potentially like grab some hotel shampoo and like be like the ultimate tight ass hoarder . But then I have a very dear friend of mine having a birthday on Saturday and I was like , damn it , I have to wash my hair . Is that relatable , or is that relatable , jesus ? So I will , I will buy some .

I'm just being a pain in the ass at the moment , so that just cracks me up . Oh dear , my wine of the week , while there's a story behind this . The Rytaldi bestie had a birthday , she turned 27, .

God love her and it was at the Town and Country Club and I was a little bit nervous about a few things just because I hadn't actually been in the vicinity of some friends for a while . And I went to the counter at the TNC and I said , oh , have you got like a house rosé or something ? And I was like , oh yeah , the bottle's 35 .

And I was like , sweet ass , like who sells bottles for $35 ? I will have the house rosé . Not only was it like delicious I think it was terrace , which is on the outskirts of Cromwell and a wine or a kind of wine , but I rated it . I was like , yeah , this is , like you know , an eight or a nine , it's half decent bloody rosé .

I actually had two bottles , and even my other friend too I'm going to Auckland with . She got one and I thought , well , that speaks volumes , because normally she wouldn't be on the bloody wine , she'd be on the rums . So , oh look , it was such a cool night . I was just living my best life on these two bottles of wine .

However , my mum's workmate came and she was like , wow , danny was steaming . It's one of those things I've been really good company Like I just I have a lot of fun , I just laugh and carry on , and that was such a good night . She has such a good birthday , and now she's actually on the Gold Coast and we've been playing this game .

She reached out to me on I think it was Sunday and she says , oh , where's some of these bars that you go to when you're on the Gold Coast ? And I pulled up my list of my favorites and I sent it through to her and she has been playing this game with me ever since , where she's been sending me snaps of an area and she's like guess where I am ?

And I kid you not , out of about six I've got one wrong Only because I thought she was at Movie World and I was like , are you at a bar at Movie World ? Because it just looked like that , but it wasn't .

But not only is she like going to all these bars that I told her to , she actually popped into a liquor store where I know my cousin sells a little fat lamb with Gorana and we don't have that in New Zealand or it's been gone , I don't know .

There's like some rules and regulations around the strength of the alcohol in the little fat lamb and she was just roaring with laughter and I thought , oh God , I've really set this up now . But she took off down the road to Condom Kingdom and if you're on the Gold Coast , I totally rate it .

It's a shop that is full of sex toys and everything else , but there is a lot of tourist fun stuff . It's not all like shut your eyes and just buy something . But she went in with her partner and they just had so much fun . I just I wish I was there with her .

But honestly , when your friends go travel and they listen to what you say and it's just a lot of like good advice . I was like you , do you , boo , have the best time . But the next morning I didn't hear from her and I was like , oh , she's had her phone stolen or broken or she's like left it on a shelf in Condom Kingdom or whatever .

But no , she was just just having fun on the Gold Coast and I just when you meet someone like her , she is beautiful and she is a big supporter of my podcast and you know we've hung out like for two plus years quite consistently .

She knows everything about me and when she falls in love and she does all these massive milestones in her life and you just support it and you're like , fuck , yes , you're doing it . I am your biggest hype girl and I was so excited when she got on that plane to the GC , because not only is she doesn't , she doesn't really leave Chrome all that often .

She's a bit of a homebody and I just want the best for her . But I was like get your ass on that plane and go traveling and just have fun . And she's doing it . So that's you know how I got to my wine of the week being the town and country Rose . I was supporting my besties 27th birthday and now she's on the Gold Coast living her best life , woohoo .

So I have actually like put up a NGO question on my Instagram because on Saturday night again , my mum actually piped up and said you know when's my time to be on the pot ? What are those words ? But like similar , and so I was like , oh , um , what ?

So not only did I sort of leave it to you guys to actually give us some questions , but I had such beautiful answers , like these questions were just so considerate of the fact that they just wanted to know about Mum and everything else . I started to go through a couple with her . She hit the anchors on it .

She was like Danny , at the end of the day , I just want to be spontaneous and answer from the heart and just be like it is what it is and so I don't want to hear any more questions . I'll do this when you're ready to record me . I was like , okay , well , when are we doing this ? And I don't know .

Now she's just like overthinking it a little bit , but at the same time , like I'm so thankful for you guys to like love her as much as I do . She's fun . I mean , I'll tell you . Yeah , when I was living in Sunshine Bay for two and a half years , I had 17 flatmates . My name was on the lease . I was juggling the rent . It was terrible .

Mum moved to Sydney and I was like , oh , she moved to Maccay , sorry . And I did two and a half years without her and everything was fine . You know , I've never lived apart from her , so there was a bit of a struggle , you know , here , there and everywhere .

However , when she decided to move to Sydney , I threw the towel in on Queenstown and I was like , okay , I'm going to go move to Sydney and you know , set myself up with my mum and , just you know , live in a city .

I had no friends in Sydney , so it was the most , you know , boring , coldest time for my life , basically , and such a massive , massive city to feel so alone . I really struggled . And so I used to like , when she moved back to New Zealand , because things didn't work out in Sydney , I decided to stay , and I mean one foot in front of the other .

Of course I was going to stay , I tried to make it work and everything else , but it was to the point where I was so alone that I used to take trains to random like suburbs where there was , like I don't know , a shopping centre and a bar or whatever . On my weekends I would pull into these random bars , order like what are they called ?

Chicken shnitty with chips and salad , like you know , the Australian meal , have a couple of pints and ring my friends around the world in New Zealand and just be like . You know I miss you guys , but that to me , was like what I'm doing now with friends in Australia .

However , I'm like at home , safe , and it's not weird , but like my mum was my biggest support . So when I decided to turn , you know everything around and I actually came across a sale that was $99 flights from Sydney to Bali . And I said to mum , if I brought you me and Tom flights from Sydney to Bali , would you come with me ?

And mum was like , yeah , yeah , it's $99 . It's fine , rara . So I took them to Bali and then when I got back I decided to chuck everything in my car and just relocate up to Brisbane . So I got like a relocation car . It was a Suzuki Swift and , quite frankly , I didn't have that much stuff in Sydney anywhere . I hated it . I just wanted to leave .

My mum and me had this like understanding that if I was going to drive that 10 or 11 hours by myself , that she was going to watch on this app called glimpse G , l , y , m , p S E and it's where you could track in real time the speed and everything else of your travels so that you know love ones and stuff can make sure you get from A to B and

you're safe . So she's like my biggest supporter , but she does things in ways that you know it's not overpowering and I love that about her because she obviously wants the best for me , but she'll be like I'm scared . This 10 or 11 hour drive was crazy . I mean , there's either two ways to go . When you drive from Sydney to Brisbane , is my understanding .

There's like the coastal way where there's the like ocean road and there's a little bit inland and obviously , like at one stage you know like you lose service .

And I decided to take the inland route and there was truckies that were like supporting me and I think there's like this weird understanding with truckies that they totally get if someone's like got a car that's got shit up to the windows , that someone's obviously moving house or whatever , and to be like concerned .

But you know , it got to the point where truckies would high beam to let me into a lane or just you know that kind of shit . But at times I was telling my mom or I'm driving next to this truck , rara was you know hands free ? And she's like yeah , you know , I can see you , but you're doing 105 and 100 . What are you doing ? Like shit , like that .

So , look , I got up to Brisbane but there was one time where the service dropped off and she thought that I was getting murdered by a truckie in Land Road somewhere .

But look , I am a very strong , independent woman , so so , yeah , there was none of that , but yeah , when , when it comes to all those kinds of life achievements , mum is , I don't know , she just she just gets it .

So I'd be really interested to have her on the pod because , as much as I am her daughter and she sees like everything , she's also really cool , calm and collective and she'd probably just make you guys laugh , and I love the fact that you're so supportive of her being on the pod .

So it's not this pod , but I expect to have her on shortly , that's for sure . So I don't know if you guys know , but Twitter is the number one news app , which blows my mind , because when has Twitter actually been all about the news ?

I decided to download the app and I was kind of interested in the whole fact that Elon obviously owned it now and I was interested to see how it's how it is , or I've never owned it . We went to log in and it said would you like to use your password ? And I thought , holy shit , when did I have a Twitter ?

Turns out it was 2010 is back when I was at Vodafone and my tweets were to my boss to come find us for pre-drinks at Carnival Bar in Dunedin for our Christmas party and I was like , oh my God , I was actually using Twitter to tweet to my boss to come to a bar . But anyway , I started looking into this whole Twitter thing and it's crazy .

It is actually not like Instagram or Facebook , and I don't even know how I've liked the pages that I have liked , but I get why it is the number one news app . There is more interesting stuff in Twitter than there is on Facebook .

A thousand times over I have been like sending my friend in Australia videos and really crazy news stories and stuff that you just don't see . Like I get . Well , is Facebook moderated by Zuckerberg ? I don't know . Is Twitter a free-for-all because of Elon ? I don't know , but I generally wanted to entertain the fact that Twitter was considered a news app .

It didn't seem right . It's more like you know , people were talking shit . Tweets were like you know five words . It didn't make sense , I don't know . Anyway , I'm genuinely surprised . So if you have been on Twitter before and you've fallen off in the past , I definitely recommend you get back on it , because that is a weird app and I'm here for it .

Like I'm actually like giving myself kind of I don't know half an hour a day to actually check in on Twitter and see what the news is and everything else . Which leads me to the next thing my social media time from last week is actually down another 44% .

So not only am I spending less and less time on socials which is great I will let you know that on Sunday , I tried to really give this crochet

thing a go . I don't know if I've mentioned it before , but I wanted to learn a new skill , and I don't really have grandparents in New Zealand or in my life in general , like I don't have that older generation to help me learn these kinds of things that are considered you know what they used to do . My mum is someone that likes to sew .

She can sew a waistcoat and a skirt in a day , like she will make a dress . It's all about sewing . However , I thought for 45 minutes I was learning to crochet and I was so excited and I posted a photo on social media . I was like I'm doing it . And then mum comes home and she was like you , dickhead , you are learning to knit on crochet hooks .

So with crocheting , you're not supposed to keep the actual garment on a hook . You're supposed to do this like weird hook and everything else into the fabric , and then it actually turns into like something that I don't know . It turns into something else , which could be anything . I was only trying to learn how to do a granny square .

So if you make a granny square if you have like 12 , you can make a blanket , but you do like a square is something really little , but it's a good practice . So that was what I was using TikTok to learn to crochet . However , I am left handed , but I also naturally taught myself to knit . And it was wild .

I was , I was throwing these hooks around and I was like this is shit , I can't do this . I am one of those people that , like , I hate buying presents because I feel like it's really impersonal . I'm one of those people that just absolutely loves making memories with people .

But I thought if I could crochet like a giant strawberry or you know , a granny square blanket which is something I want to do for my 27 year old friend , who actually said that she would be interested in making that kind of a blanket and I was like I'm going to learn .

No , no , it is not easy , which is wild because I said on my socials that I would , you know , invent a crochet wine club . It's not going to happen , because Danny Dot does not know how to left hand crochet , I only know how to knit . And even then , mum was like , ok , I'll get the knitting needles out and you can do knitting .

And I was like , ok , not only could I not knit with two needles , I can only knit with one , because I was literally using the thread and the needle to just go across making a line , and then I didn't know how to turn around and go back the other way . And I was like what is the point in this ? And she was like you tell me , you wanted to try .

However , this is how I'm trying to like recluse of social media and not aimlessly scroll , which has been great for my mental health , because , I don't know , for a while there I was just falling down the rabbit hole , and now it's it's so good to see from my devices that I'm , you know , slowly trickling off , being so overly consumed by social media .

But this crochet thing . I need to find another hobby . I think I need to go back to cooking , which is stupid , because I don't want to cook right now . I'm putting my foot down . I hate the price of food . Everything's stupid . I've got to find something else . And if I just look around , my thing , oh .

The other thing is , while mum was away in Christchurch she came across a TV show your Mum , my Dad . It's on Channel 3 in New Zealand . It's actually on the 3 Now app because I believe in June it was it finished its episodes on TV . And I am so obsessed with the older generation I again , because I don't have grandparents .

I have such a warm heart for them . This TV show is just beautiful reality TV . I cried on the first episode . I'm so glad mum wasn't home when I saw it because I was the absolute waterworks .

But it is all about kids that have single parents that something has happened in their life , as to why they've dedicated their life to their kids and their kids have nominated them for a retreat and in the retreat they meet other single parents and they fall in love and they form a bond .

And there's all these stories that come out honestly , as much as the parents are crying together about beautiful stuff to do with , you know , growth and everything else .

The kids are crying because they're happy that their parents are finding love and I'm currently up to the last episode , which is going to be I'll make sure I watch it tonight which is where the kids bless if their parents relations , you know get the blessing from the child .

The kids , the way that they sort of think about if someone's worthy of the appearance is wild , like I just can't even deal . It's beautiful and I totally recommend this TV show because not only is it like , not based around looks or anything else , it's actually . I enjoy the older generation because I feel like they've already been through things .

You know younger people on , say , like Love Island or the main Married at First sight or the Bachelor , they're all people like , longing to find relations and , you know , find love and have it the first time .

Your mum , my dad , is about things that have happened in marriages and cheating scandals and stuff of their like partner of 20 years and how they got through it . Like there is a dad on that show who slept in the spare room for seven years to make sure that his kid didn't think anything was up with his mum and dad .

That's how much his dad put into , you know , keeping everything normal for their kid and it's just absolutely my cup of tea .

So I wanted to mention that because if you're looking for something to watch your mum , my dad , if you guys have had it in Australia I don't know if it was like on TV or whatever it is an Australian show , so that's why I think it's there , but I recommend it .

And also , yesterday the new Bachelor got released and he is 71 years old and I just think that's wild because , oh my God , are you kidding me ?

Yes , I can't wait to see if the young little older woman you know obviously there's going to be the same sort of shit they're going to have really great like stories and who knows , there could be 70 year old woman that have never been married and never had kids , and just you know , waited for that person and he's quite a hot looking 71 year old .

I thought there's no way . Like , what skincare is this guy using ? That's crazy . So that's starting up . I don't know when that's going to be in New Zealand . It'll probably be in Australia before it's in New Zealand , that's for sure . But the new Bachelor , who ? He is worth looking up , I'm telling you . But no , so what else have I got ?

Other stuff , just that I'll let you guys know about something that , like I've been saying to my two besties that we're going to Bali for new years about and that's you know as much as this trip has turned into this expense of nightmare that is slowly coming down because we haven't booked yet and we're waiting for little Gold Coast chicky to come back so we can

actually commit to this and I'm more excited about the planning behind it . But I know that you know it's coming down to the crunch and we have to book it . But something we've been saying a lot lately well , I feel like I have is because I got to go to Kingpin , which is a really fabulous arcade establishment , last Sunday with a good friend of mine .

She just gets me , she , she I don't know one of those people that I think I enjoy day stuff and I do night stuff . If I go out at night , I get the gilts the next day that , like I've obviously , like you know , gone home at someone godly hour and my , you know , sleeps , just shit .

Whereas if you go out in the day and you have a really great day and you fill your cup with , you know , stupid , weird , fun , crazy stuff , then you know you , you're just sufficiently happy .

So I obviously , a couple of weeks ago , I mentioned that I wanted to go to Kingpin and play some arcade games and finished off with a margarita at the alkemena cantina the perfect day in my eyes . And she came to me and she says the only reason I didn't say that we should do that is because you're on a budget .

But the end of the day , 100% , you have to weigh out the fact that , even though I'm doing a budget , it doesn't matter . You can blow the budget for the fact that , like you know , you want to have those happy times and you can always make money .

This is what I've been saying you can always make money , but memories can't always be made and I would rather look back and be like you know what that day was bloody awesome . Um , yeah , I blew the budget , but I don't give two shirts because I had fun and that's way more important .

So , especially since , like , I've been bleeding on about the fact that this budget's so important and this year we should hit the anchors on the whole , like drinking at wineries and everything else , even though everything about that is free .

Um , the wineries and everything else , you know it's , it's the taking the day to explore the region and drink and you know , then it ends up at a bar and you're actually paying for wine and that leads to a nightclub and then it's three in the morning and you've lost a shoe and the cat's still pregnant . That it's not the case .

But , um , because I was saying that , I sort of feel like my friend group took it seriously and I love the fact that my friend that went to kingpin with me she was like I was only not going because you know , you were having a budget thing , and I once I said , oh , you know it's going out the window , don't worry about it and we actually went .

I was so happy . But , um , back in March I brought a present for a friend that was having a birthday and I didn't I didn't , actually didn't get invited to his drinks . So , um , I'm not going to re-gift that present , but I'm way more happy of the fact that , like I didn't give it to them , then I did give it to them and now we're not friends , um .

But you know , that sort of trickled on to a couple of other things where I was really um , I suppose when you have a gut feeling about something , you're genuinely right .

It could be about friends , money , relationships , um , travel , even if you have a gut feeling about being on the road and then you know you don't want to travel because you feel like something bad's going to happen . You're genuinely right .

So , you know , a couple of friends birthdays had passed and I was just feeling a bit uneasy about a few things , like I don't , I don't feel like I am wanted to be in the vicinity of some people , I don't know . It was like this weird dark shadow , I suppose , and it really consumed me .

My walls came up because , essentially back in March , when I wasn't invited to some drinks , that really hurt me and like I was just trying to navigate what was going on and hearing from different people about different things .

Then another friend had a party and this is when I found out about my good friend , um , who had a health condition and was going to pass away . Um , you know , a couple of drinks in and I'm in tears , uh , because I'm about to lose a friend who's gonna actually die . Not , doesn't hate me , he's gonna die .

Um , so in a way , I sort of started defending my mental health and shutting down and pulling away from everything , to the point where when I had my birthday , you know , some people didn't turn up and they didn't have a reason , they didn't tell me and it actually genuinely hurt me and I started a question and I've never questioned my whole entire existence if

I'm a good friend to someone , because to me I am that character that is just , you know , always turning up . I learn heaps about someone . I'm not a surface friend . I will genuinely understand and and get what's going on and be your hype person . You need me to turn up with someone and have a yarn about a shit day . I'm fricking there .

But when you start being , you know , feeling a bit uneasy about your friend group and and if you're actually loved , I mean , if you like , for me , I spent two to a couple of years with these people and they were my friends , my life , and all of a sudden I'm feeling like I can't go to things .

Um , and then it led to another friend who had a birthday and of course , I just had every ounce of strength that I wanted to go to this function but at the end of the day , like , oh , my mental health just shut down . It's one of those things where , of course , if someone wants you there , you will do everything to be there .

However , it's not worth being there and no one else wants you there , except that one person whose birthday it is and I decided not to go , which then , you know , has trickled down into the fact where I've started questioning my friendship with him , because it hurts to think that , just because I was feeling a bit poorly about a friend group situation that I

actually had to recluse and look after myself , that now they think that I don't like them or whatever . I wasn't there , right , right , that is 100% not the case , and so you know . I don't know really where I'm going with this , but I think I genuinely just needed to vent to the point where it's been a bit of a tough time for me .

I'm not going to lie , and , of course , with this barley thing coming up , oh my God , I'm just sitting on the edge with excitement . However , are we saving to go to barley ? Absolutely not . Will I have a glass of wine with any of my friends ? No matter what ?

Apps are fucking lootily , but at the moment , yes , some stuff's happened and I don't know where everything's gone wrong , but I just , I've just decided that I have to look after myself , and I've even deep dived into marketing my high-ab crane truck with my brother , because I don't know , for some reason that was kind of exciting , more so than worrying about if

people liked me , which I've never had happened in my life before Like , of course , I completely understand . If you don't like me , then don't like me , like , but kind of tell me . It's like the death of a friendship .

So , you know , I've been paying more attention to getting you know the truck for my brother off the ground and it's such a like I don't know anything about marketing or doing anything like that , so I've had to excite myself with how to get this moving and it's been fun . I don't get me wrong , I will always find something else to do .

But yeah , for the past sort of five months I've just been an absolute struggle street with the fact that I don't know how to navigate something , and I think it's kind of come across in a couple of my podcasts and I do apologize because obviously the whole intention to have a pod was to be this crazy female that drinks and has stories to tell and everything

else . But in some ways you kind of need to have those stories about your friends . You know , I pride myself on that .

I have really great friends worldwide and the like most beautiful inner circle of friends in Cromwell here that you know just my Balorlin end all I appreciate everything that they do for me and they've been such a great part of my life , even my neighbor who we've had , you know , great catch ups and she's definitely helped get me through some really tough times

recently . I obviously am just re establishing what I want in life and and what makes me feel really good about myself , and I will just never second guess my friendship towards anyone . If I'm your friend , I'm your friend . I want to know everything and I want to be there to help and support you .

And so for my budget , don't ever think that I'm going to put my budget in front of making memories with my friends Absolutely freaking , not . I will drop $500 , which I keep saying I say this to mum quite a lot .

Actually , for fuck's sake , I need to win lotto because I'm going to put all these little shits on a plane to Brisbane so that they can meet my Brisbane friends . Because I do like . It makes it . I'm actually welling up right now .

It makes me cry to think that , like , maybe I don't know that the Brisbane friends will ever meet my Cromwell friends , because I don't know . I don't know where I stand with bloody anything right now , but in the most exciting turn of events well , I'm actually like crying .

In the most exciting turn of events my best mate my best mate on the Holland High Planet booked a flight .

He's actually come into Cromwell and , holy shit , I don't think it's really sunken yet , because back when I thought that he was actually coming , which was in March , he mentioned that he was coming to Cromwell and I freaked out , like absolutely freaked out .

I went and sat in the garden while mum was doing the tomato garden and I cried and I was like bawling my eyes out and she was like what are you crying about ? He's actually he's come into Cromwell . Like this is something we've planned for for two years and like I just don't even know where to begin with it .

I'm sort of like leaving it with him just to be like what do you want to do ? Everything else like that . But it's so exciting , it's so bloody exciting . Not only have I got family turning up next month , but I have my trip to Brisbane next month , which I need to tell my boss and extending for my own mental health .

I'm going to Brisbane for a little bit longer . Who wouldn't ? My cousin's getting married . It's fucking special . And then you know he's coming over here , and then I'm going back over for my Melbourne Cup cruise , and then we've got Bali and New Years with my girlfriends so much look forward to . I just don't know why I felt so flat and shit lately .

I suppose it's pretty obvious when it comes to friends that they are like the most important part of my life . So when I start to feel like I'm not welcome or anything like that , I just shut down freaking so hard . It's ridiculous . But I'm okay . I'm

okay . I've got my best mate coming to visit . He is absolutely going to be on the podcast . He cannot get out of that . And we've got Sue , who is my mum , which is definitely going to be coming on the podcast shortly . Anyway , I will wrap this up and pull myself together .

Just know that , like Jenny , dot is always only fun if she's got friends who are there to support her and love her . But I don't know what to do about this and I just really have turned into a bit of a hermit and I don't want to be . When has daddy ever been a hermit ? I have too many stories to tell . Anyway , take care everyone .

I hope to maybe get another podcast out before going away at Orcs . However , if I don't , that just means that there might be one recorded in Auckland . Don't tell her that . Until next time , love you all .