Episode 86: The Big Unit

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling one another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now join my bad Larry Shy and Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick.

Are you good?

Yeah, yeah, you're on am I I can hear you. No ship, yes, all right, where we go?

All right?

How's morale by the way, Uh fantastic?

Yeah Dan?

How about you? Shay feel great?

You're good.

Yeah, everything's good. Cowboys are good. Home life is good. Not drinking, not drinking, got at all.

The roommate can stand my presence.

That's like that.

Yeah.

Your daughters like you.

Oh they love me. Your daughter has never had a problem with me. Oh the middle one does. But three ain't bad.

That's so bad. Yeah, that's not bad. How about you bad Larry?

Everything good here?

Dan?

You know that.

Well, you lost four units last week, didn't you.

Yeah? I did?

Okay? All right?

Uh six for the year.

Okay.

Shae won one unit last week, Dylan was the big winner. Oh did you have two units?

Apparently Ray said, we're not allowed to count the only American sport that matters, which is baseball.

Wait, why why does Shae not I have.

A feeling it's because he's a communist.

But okay, not a communist. But we did talk about that for the NFL season. We're only doing NFL bets in the units. We're not putting Dylan's f ones in. We're not doing your baseball Those are just extra.

I agree F one is a comedy sport too, but baseball is baseball.

Okay, how about you do something with Shaye where we do the football units and then if you want to have a little side stat where you show what he does in baseball. He does love his.

Baseball, love it.

But I mean, this is a football podcast right now. In the fall, it's a football part.

Well, i'd say predominantly football. But if we're betting on other shit too, I mean we could be doing even better there.

You can have a side hustle. I'm just saying that we'll keep.

The purity of the football unit, NFL purity, the chastity of the Dylan won twelve units last week. Yes, sir, I'm back.

Your big unit was your whoa.

Wait, where's that?

Larry's not in Pete.

They called him the big unit.

You're Randy Johnson. So your big bet was your four leg parlay fourteen parlay all the birds? Then, yep, do you have magic this week? I do have the BBL Parlor. Okay, let's hold on to that. Hold on, well, you are leading right now. Anybody want to recap? Anybody have any gripes from last week? Probably, I'm sure bad Larry does.

Yeah, actually, Larry the floor is hers? Really Larry?

Oh, yeah, I'm here.

Okay, I don't have any grites.

No, I'm they had my giants. No, I didn't have my giants and the t's but the giants come back in the second half with monster for me, not not on this show, but for me individually.

Yeah, this is this is where you place bets, but nobody knows you place the bets.

We have to believe you. I made a million bucks.

No, you don't have to believe it. It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not. I said Dan many times.

Did want to bring it up?

Yeah, Larry, he asked me for gripes and I have nothing to gripe about.

I lost for you in some show, but then you told us that you you won with the Giants even though you didn't win with the Giants with us.

Well, you know what, I trust Larry.

I'll take his No. No, I'm not trusting Larry.

No, No, not adding it to anything here, but I'll try. I'll take his word.

I don't think he Why doesn't he send it to picture Day Ray and then Ray can go Okay, you know I will. I will never.

We don't want to get involved.

In You just brought it up.

You know.

I'm just telling you as me have any grimes. I said, no, it was my bookie keeps scoring. It was a very nice one.

There we go. Let me guess you got laid to right?

Was it my birthday?

Say? All right? Yeah?

Bringing that up?

Yeah all right.

Uh my team was down twenty nothing and a half.

No, we know we know that, Lar.

I watched that close to be dump.

What did I say last week? I would have taken the Cardinals to win that.

Game money line.

I remember you saying that, and I said I loved Seattle in Detroit.

True.

So those are things that I said on the podcast. Not to my bookie. I don't have a.

Well, yeah, you're like, shad you.

Not have a bookie? Yeah, not to Steve my bookie. I mean, now, my bookie was named Jay. He was a dentist.

But it seems like if you're I feel like a dentist is a pretty you know, like admirable fashion, Like I feel like you make enough money being a dentist.

He drove a Lincoln Continental Mark three wow body light blue.

Which is the like, I'm a dentist, but I'm also a criminal.

Yes, but I just remember he lived in a nice house, nice car, nice family, and you know I had to go over there each week if I had to pick up a check or drop off a check. Yeah, he took checks. Yeah wow, I never met a book. Well, I didn't have the money to take out of the bank, so I would write a check and then eventually I would say, don't cash the check. Yeah, let me let me.

Yeah, going yards betting games, you know.

It's bad if you don't want it to bounce. Cash it on Wednesday?

It was bad. It was bad, all right? Anything any bad beats here? Nobody cares if you won a bet in dramatic fashion. But because bad Larry's giants came back after embarrassing themselves. What what ray well?

Bad beats? No one had it here? But did you guys see the end of the Niners Rams game?

Oh dude, come on? How does how does Sean McVay not know what the lione? He knows and he wants his fans to cover, period, That's it. He wants his fans who bet on his team to cover because it was seven and a half.

You kicked the field.

I mean what four seconds to go?

Yes, my mom, who thinks of football field is twenty yards long, knows what the point spread is on football games. You can't go outside of your house without seeing it, especially if you're the coach of a team.

Yes, if you're coaching, at some point, you're gonna you're going to see or hear with the point spread. You are somebody's gonna say, hey, do you think you can cover? Like your buddies. I'm guessing, Hey.

You're your mistress. Yeah what wait, who's mistress? Sean McVay an't he married?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay, who's mistress? Could be?

Like?

How much am I putting on this game?

Who says he has a mistress?

Oh, give me a break, Danny, he's got a mistress.

He just got married.

Yeah, exactly, so now he needs a mistress.

Do you have a mistress?

We broke up weeks ago.

She's getting so mad at me.

She had another roommate.

Oh no, we never lived together.

It was just, you know, we're like a camp situation.

Wait, you everything's good with you and your wife, So don't be screwing it up like this. Cowboys are doing well, you're on the wagon. Everything is good. You're just yes, stop.

It's too good.

My self sabotage.

You are a saboteur sabatur All right, we start with Dylan, since he leads the charge with twelve units.

Alrighty Dan, Okay, Dylan, let's see. It'll start with college.

Ellen needs some time here, I got it all stall for you.

Whipping pages. Okay, here we go, So college bets. These are all gonna be one unit Wisconsin Purdue under fifty three and a half.

Are you at lunch bad, Larry?

No, No, I'm not. Actually Empani's off today, so she has made me run up to the Asberg the Mission to drop off some clothes. I barely made it back in time at quarter after twelve, okay, and I'm sitting at that same table I sent my pic Janny. I.

You know, sometimes I feel bad because he's not in the room with us, and he sort of loses track of things. But what Marvin, all right, I'm.

Listening to you guys talk. It's hard. Okay, time in he is.

At a disadvantace.

Hey, Larry, are you in Asberry Park, New Jersey?

No, I was there fifteen minutes ago.

But I'm back home home with Bam Bam Bigelow.

Oh oh I remember band Bam.

Yeah.

We talked a little bit about talk about. Okay, back to Dylan. All right, Dylan, so you got Wisconsin Purdue.

Yeah, under fifty three and a half, big t slugfest.

Okay, Wisconsin. These they're both scoring some points here, ye, Wisconsin is.

But once once those the unstoppable force in the unmovable objects meet each other, it's gonna be eleven to seven. Okay, Western Kentucky plus three and afrigainst Troy. You don't like Troy has worked well for me the season.

Not like Troy, great team? No they suck, No they don't.

Oh actually yeah, because last week I had James Madison's moneyline against Troy Underdog's Day won outright?

Yeah, once again, you don't like Troy Troy Aikman. You don't like the movie Troy. You don't like Troy Aikman.

You mean Jay Z.

There we go Communism at best.

Oregon minus twenty one against.

Who do you love more? Troy Aikman or Roger Stallbauch or Jesus or Jesus the same thing.

Jesus won Troy to Roger.

Three, putting Roger starback behind Troy Aikman.

Well, that sounded a bit inappropriate, but I would have Roger. Yeah, Roger, he fought yea Navy, Yes he fought for our country. Troy, yes as much. Wait, but doesn't Troyman have more rings bing bing bing and age appropriate though? Shay, what are you forty? Yeah?

So you know he doesn't remember Roger. I probably docks myself just now that out.

Somebody's gonna find you out Here we go, somebody's gonna fight. Okay, back to Dylan, I'm sorry.

So Oregon minus twenty one against Colorado.

People are betting with their heart on this Colorado.

This is stuff.

This is a don't overthink.

This is where Vegas goes. Yes, thank you, I don't need the points. I'm taking Dion and straight up money money.

Some guy in Vegas is up there just lighting money on fires like this stuff is coming in like hot cakes.

All right, here we go.

What else?

And even though they fucked me last week.

Scored a lot of points, Iowa, are you going to under?

I'm going under forty and I'm actually I lied three units on that again, I have to keep I'm keeping the system going. Actually, though not to sound like Larry I did, I had a this was not on the show, but I had I don't want to hear it, but it's relevant.

I don't want to hear it from Larry. I don't want to hear from you.

Please pretty please?

Okay.

So I had a seven leg parlay hit six of them put fucking Iowa under and there like this one's guaranteed one and.

I got lost.

I lost?

Okay, are you done.

No, I'm not quite NFL Dan. Oh, actually I am. I have one more bet, and I don't know how I feel about this Notre Dame money line against the Ohio Stage. I am the murmurings on the street. I'm hearing a lot of people liking Notre Dame here, which gives me pause. But I hate Ohio State. I like Notre Dame initially, so I'm sticking plus one.

I believe.

NFL, So I'm I'm taking the BBL parlay Dan, which is the Broncos money line against the Dolphins, the Bears plus twelve and alf against the Chiefs, and the Lions minus three against the Falcons.

That's the b Broncos be Bears l lines. Yeah, okay, and that pays out about plus one thousand. And I'm also going to take all of those bets in as straight bets to okay, for.

I'm going Stillers plus two and a half against Raiders Sunday night, okay, and Texans Jags under forty four like that, And then I have some f one bets but apparently don't fucking matter anymore.

Go ahead, God, why did you guys whind so much? We have to Dan, you know, when I walked in here today, I saw a little nip of a fireball. Oh gross, No, Dylan discuss it was on the floor. Okay, why are you bringing a nip of fireball in here while you're you weren't taking you weren't drinking during the show.

No that we we went out and got our usual white claws. So I got then do like men do, and the men also get a nip of fireball. Okay, I just I wanted to make sure that we're not there. These are all post show okay, yeah, right, all right, Shay give me that drink.

Let me. You're not allowed to say anything. She's not drinking at all.

No, No, it's.

I thought I heard white Claw opening up sick with death. All go ahead, everybody's having fun but Larry, ye okay.

All right, So I got Sergio Perez and Lando Norris, podium finished Max for stapping fast lap.

Okay, commy, uh let me see say are you in front of bed? Larry?

No, I'm always behind them. Okay, all right, bad Larry waiting?

Here you go.

Here's here we go?

Okay, one units. I didn't see Ray never sent me back. What this line was? I want to over the Giants team total only so over the Giants, but not for the game, just for the sixteen and a half, perfect over sixteen and a half for the Giants. Yes, then I want the Pats minus the three against the Jets.

Two and a half, thank you, Dan, Okay.

Two and a half, thank you, Dann. Okay, Bill's running six and a half against the Commanders, Lions minus three against the Falcons.

Okay, okay, any college, then I got a.

Three team t's in the pros still well half row and a half college two unit three team t's the forty nine ers and to pick them tonight, the Cowboys minus the two and a half and NC State minus I half somewhere around to pick them.

Mine's a pick the half. It's a pick them.

It's a pick them.

Okay against Virginia, Yes, against Virginia Via all right? Anything else? Yeah, okay, all right, I'm trying to keep this moving, Larry.

I understand now, the two unit three team TIS, then I got one on three college games. Tennessee minus is twenty against.

You, twenty and a half, okay.

Meaning let's have JMU minus is six and a half against Utah State, and I'm going to get jump on LSU minus is seventeen against.

Our seventeen and a half.

That might not be meaningless, but I'll tell that's fine. Okay, they're they're the winners for this week.

Dan, so far, thank you, thank you, Larry Shay your turn.

Yeah, college football, Danny, we got a Coketown versus the cow Pokes over sixty three and a half.

Hold on in Laymanstern's s m U versus TCU, Right.

Yeah, everybody knows that. Uh South Bama minus fifteen and CMU they suck. Liberty and the Christians minus ten against FYU, which is a fake.

School at Liberty is not though, No, it's not doing God's work. That's shoeless.

Carpenter, I got Heavy minus twenty and a half against Larry's LAE. To be fair, I'm chalky as fuck this like every single bet I made his chalk you that before, so please fade me. It doesn't look good. Then I got Belichick minus two and a half the Raiders minus two and a half, and since he minus three, I.

Tried to give you guys a heads up on a bet that maybe you should take what the over in the Raiders home games in Vegas.

Is heard this on the show immediately, but against it.

I honestly literally heard it live log in. But against they're gonna go so low this week, the week they'll go back.

Okay, alright, fair enough, fair enough. Anything else needs to be mentioned obviously, Shaye Irving podcast, Yeah that's back getting weird. Maybe next Wednesday?

Yeah, what's up? Maybe?

I just want to make sure that you and your wife, your roommate are We're good, I know, but I just want to make sure that it's real. What do you mean that it's sustainable the marriage?

Yeah, well it's been a decade, Danny.

That doesn't That's the easy part, right, That's like being like I did happen.

I had a rough patch, and I want to make sure if I go to the house, if she came in here and we did it. We don't want to do that, but if we did, if we did, you know, but I told you I'll go to your house. You're gonna love it, Danny, really expensive neighborhood.

There we go.

It must be nice. It ain't bad. I'll tell you. Marvin's not able to come with me there. Sure, sure, pulled over, immediately pulled over.

They're going to run your plates.

Like, wait, this is your car is definitely not this is my house.

We will call you outside of town.

No, I'll just a deep look. My neighbor desperately wants to know what I do for a living. Oh, for sure, because you know I come in here with jeans and a T shirt and most people think, hey, you might be working at a warehouse.

Whatever.

I come back as clean as a whistle, right, come back? And so he goes, hey, you know, how's everything? And I go, business is good? And my wife goes it makes you feel like they're.

Drug you're manufacturing cocaine like Martin, you can't and just business is good? Or do you say business? I wish I should have said.

And what man is definitely the first guy to sell drugs in an ultima?

Yeah?

If you know you know?

Oh my good come on selling dinond bags out the back and one do you have anything that you'd like to add?

Uh? Let's hope the BBL parlay again for the people.

What about what about you bad Larry?

No? No, I'm good, have fun Wednesday night, Dan, I'm interested to hear how it goes.

Uh, and we good luck. We're waiting for you to come back up. Larry for the phone. Yeah we are ship.

Actually, I do have one more thing.

Okay, what do you have?

I want a unit on the Giants money line tonight.

What yeah?

Ship it?

Oh my god. See you build it up and then you piss it away.

But what if I win?

Okay, that's why it's going gambling exactly. Yeah, okay, So for bad Larry, for Dylan, the graphics gun, for Picture Day Ray, for Marvin and Shay and Irving. I'm Dan Patrick. Dan Patrick takes a gamble. We'll talk to you night, kid,