Episode 83: Moving On

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling one bet, another bet, another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat. And now join my bad Larring, Shayne Irving and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick. Alrighty, gang's all here ready to go. After last week's podcast, which wow, I don't know what that was last week, but I had to explain that to some people who said, what were you guys talking about with Arizona State's campus and some other things? I said, Well, I wasn't saying it, Shay was saying it. So I put the blame on you. You should. It was

Dan? How are you welcome back?

Well?

Thank you and welcome back.

Thanks Larry.

Where are you right now? Larre?

I am in my car outside rays.

Okay, And then you're gonna go in and have lunch as you normally do.

Correct I've had a couple of cokes already, but I haven't even usually ordered lunch. But I didn't even order it yet.

So what's the lunch order back there?

Lately, I've been doing I don't like cheese, but I do like mazarella cheese. I've been doing slice, steak and mazrella cheese on a hard roll. They were the last two days.

By the way, you're getting a steak and cheese with mozzarella.

That's a psychic.

It's the only cheese I like. I love pizza. I don't put cheese on anything else when I just tried it two days ago and not bad.

So you're telling me at the Pumpkin Regatta, y'all, don't have a cheese plate coming for as an oar door.

Don't you, Larry?

It's fetuses.

Bad, Larry. Don't you do like chark couterie.

Whatever that word was.

I don't chark cooterie.

Haven't you ever ordered that? When you've gone into a.

Restaurant, No there, you're in the Jersey Shore, you probably hear char cooterie fucking ten times a day.

That's a.

Char cooterie. I dated her and dated her in high school, Okay, we are wiping the slate clean. This is it. It's over. Okay, Dylan, congratulations winning the off season, and that's usually benefits teams. When you win the off season, then sometimes that translates into great news or.

You can just absolutely take a nose down.

You could be like the Mets.

Yeah they won the beat The Rangers can beat the Rangers.

I haven't watched the Mets game in about two months, and it's honestly, it's the way to be.

Seattle has caught your Rangers, Danny.

I've had the worst month ever besides the times that I was in rehab. This is really bad for me. The Rangers collapsing like this is really hard for me to figure out.

Okay, well, we move on with a clean slate. Dylan was the overwhelming winner plus thirty two. He had ten more units than you did. So bad, Larry, Bad. Larry was forty two units behind Dylan.

Yeah, I know, but I can't be held response for not knowing who Taylor Swift's next boyfriend is. This is based on football, guys.

Well, no it's not. It's we didn't actually place bets on that. We were just discussing the hypothetical.

Fucking Mets, you idiot. Yeah the Mets. Yeah, you made a.

Stupid you bet the Mets the rest of the year, and they dumped two of their fucking pictures.

You fucking moron.

Amen.

I love it.

I love it.

Okay, Uh is there anything? Let's recap Notre Dame Navy two units for Dylan the over You missed that. You gave away the twenty one. They could have won that game sixty to nothing. Yeah, Navy Notre Dame first quarter over ten and a half.

I was worried about that one.

San Jose State. You won that one, getting plus thirty and a half. San Diego State minus two and a half. Versus Ohio, you did well. Yeah, Max Verse stopping had the fastest lap man.

On the other tail.

That's okay. You did pretty well, did pretty well. Shay had the Navy Notre Dame over under.

Well, you got that. I got hurt, Danny, I got hurt.

This well you you told me sold me on New Mexico S Day.

I feel so bad about that. God, I Diego Pavilla is dead to me.

I am telling people when they're going, Hey, any any teams you like this week? And I go man. I like New Mexico.

State the other really the worst part really all the fucking research I did on that. Yeah, we'll dipid team.

This is like, this is perfect for me because this kind of proves my point. It's like Jay had the most concise thought out ration now behind a bet I think ever done on this podcast. And of course everyone who heard that should have bell should have gone off and been like, fucking fade.

You didn't do it well on baseball either. Oh I got cue, Yeah, you got roughed up bad, Larry, have four units on a three team ten point teaser and you ended up winning that? Right? Oh no, you have to add one more? Is that right? Oh?

Here we go, well, say trunk Saturday night. I filled it in with usc. I moved the line from thirty one to twenty one and moved the line.

He moved the line, y'all the ten points?

Yeah, oh, I thought you mean yours. I thought you met it sharp you are.

Larry came in with a twenty dollars bet and vagausly moved.

Oh my gosh, shifted, Here comes Larry shifted.

Y'all, Okay, I sent I sent you the bet.

By the way, did you win so you won your bet.

I well, I was bombed. I fell asleep when I bet it, and I woke up to the wind. But I don't want Tom on the show. I'm I'm not filling with Penn State.

Okay, okay, so let me bring in Picture Day Ray, the producer of this God Forsake and show. Uh so what what are we doing with bad Larry?

So with Larry, he didn't put that third leg in and he said USC but he never emailed me or texted me it. So we're gonna make him pick another one. And he's got another one on on on hold.

You have Penn State in West Virginia.

Are you talking to me? Then?

Yeah, yeah, it's your bet. Do you have Penn?

But I want Dylan to go first. This is the last time Dylan gets to go first.

Wow.

Okay, now we're now we're getting around to just betting football, and Bad Larry knows knows football. Uh yeah, all right, So Dylan, I'll let you start.

Alrighty Dan, the big dog parlay is no thirty points or more favored. So I'm going Michigan minus thirty six against ECU Texas minus thirty five against Rice, which actually this is gonna be the one that focks me. And then Auburn minus thirty five against U Massy plus five ninety five.

Okay, you might lose both of those last two.

Yeah, those are I kind of like Auburn though, actually.

And do you have anything with Colorado?

Yeah, the same game Parlay then TC minus nineteen and a half, Rauto under twenty one and a half in the total under sixty.

Four and a half.

Okay, and that's plus three hundred yeah, okay.

What else?

Florida State plus two and a half against LSU. I believe Ray and Chay are both gung ho about LSU, which only bolsters my argument.

All Right, we're all right.

Anything on the games tonight.

Yes, Florida straight up against Utah.

Okay, Cam Rising probably not playing for the Utes.

He's out. Florida shocked the world and upset Utah first game last season, to do it again even though they're playing it in Utah.

All right, what else do you have?

Miami the U minus seventeen against Miami Ohio. Miami Ohio's quarterback, I believe, came out and said that they were the real Miami idiot. So well, I think they are Miami Ohio. Yeah, Danny, weren't they weren't they Miami before Miami?

Yeah?

But the city about a cultural impact here, Danny, which one matters more? Miami of Ohio? Which bunch of nerds go to or they you where they get paid to play?

Since two thousand and four, how many times do you think Miami has had a double digit I don't think that matters. A better question is what is it over under on the number of students that went to rehab from their time at Miami Ohio versus the U.

Probably pretty close.

Actually, your nuts the you by a mile.

I've been. I've been to Miami Ohio. It might be for different things, but they're still going to right.

Yeah ssri fucking weirdo.

Since two thousand and four, Miami has had one double digit win season. What else do you have, Dylan, Well.

It's time for a second one. Dan Utah State, IOWA under forty three, Iowa unders are back forty three? Was would have been like eighty for any team.

Okay, here we go, death taxes and Iowa under.

Especially when half the team is betting on the Underwell, we don't, we don't know.

Okay, allegedly allegedly anything else.

San Jose State money line versus Oregon State plus five seventy five. Dju sucks and I stand by that.

I'll go up.

But he sucked on a great Clemson team.

I just know Oregon State was really good last year.

They covered the spread like every game.

Okay, is that it?

And Clemson minus thirteen against Duke honestly, Kius fucked.

Okay, that's your logic.

And I have a couple of f one Pickstan. They came to me late straight from the horse's mouth, five units on max for Stapping to win. I don't even know what the line is, but okay, I think he has one more to break the record. I think so for wins in a season. Yeah, I'm gonna bet on a safety car, which I still think is just if there's a crash, and then Lando Norris podium finish and Charles Leclaire podium finish.

Clear is it?

And yep?

Okay, Shay, come on down.

Hey Danny, uh I got the Gophers lane seven against the fighting rules, the little Matt rule I got. I gotta say, I really like this bet, but it makes me feel stupid because of what New Mexico State did in me South Bama two lane under fifty five. I love it. South Bama runs a ball like the son of a bitch. But any more in depth analysis I have just means going to fucking lose.

So wait, go on, no, you gotta limit your analysis.

I would love the over on that, actually, right, yeah, thank you so much.

Oh you're gonna fade.

I'm fading.

I want to fade Corvallis. I want Corvallis money, not money line. What's the fucking spread in Corvallis.

Oregon state minus sixteen and a half?

Sixteen and a half?

Correct?

They got juiced up, didn't it? They got steamed? Mother fucker. I'll hit it right now for a unit. I hit unit.

Fuck?

Are you doing what else? I got the state of New Jersey laying the seven against Rutgers against the.

You know, yeah, the Hazers, the hazers in the Western Elephant Walkers.

Oh wow god. And then I got the tar Heels laying the two against South Cakilaki uh. And I got Yukon plus fourteen and a half against fucking stores that's doing.

That might be the smallest you kin spread in like ten years.

It might be.

Yeah.

I was just surprised to find out that Connecticut has six players in the NFL right now.

No ship right now?

Yeah?

Really six active players?

Yeah I believe so. Yeah, yeah, Marvin. Ten years ago, I would have been with you the Orlowski era. They had some guys, but Orlowsky that fucking guy.

That fucking guy.

I think that some of a bitch all the time, all the time.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Nothing? I was just like, hey, Dan, what the fuck are you doing?

I think you guys live in the same neck of the woods, right we do?

Yeah? I see him at the beach, or see him at the goddamn supermarket. I see him all the time. Oh does that dude work like he's everywhere?

He works a lot. But does he know.

Who you are? Oh? Fuck no?

Oh? So you just walk up and just say hey Dan, Hey, Danny, got to see you that. He's a tall guy.

He's tall, a ship tall. He's also skinny, like.

He would be small.

You could beat on TV. I could beat his ass easy, Danny in front of his kids.

At the supermarket.

All right, bad, Larry, are you still with us?

Yeah?

Okay, this is when Larry starts to dominate.

Okay, Well, the first, The first one on my seat is NC State laying the fourteen against Yukon. So I'm staying with that.

Okay, fourteen and a half.

Whatever you guys give me.

It's no, you just keep trying.

It's fourteen and a half the big half point, Larry.

Okay, it is a big half point. NC State Utah minus the four and a half against Florida over fifty two in the e CU Michigan game.

It's fifty one and a half, thank you.

Oklahoma minus thirty five against Arkansas.

State thirty six.

Okay.

Do you make it seem like we're making these lines up, Larry?

No, No, I'm just looking at I.

Well, you you gave me no, you gave me no, you gave me the half assed okay, like I'm somehow.

Inflating Votec minus the sixteen against Odu.

I thought you loved oh Du.

I hate od you. You remember that I.

Thought you loved me too?

Am I crazy? Yeah?

Honestly I might. I'm gonna jump on.

Right, did bad Larry love old Dominion last year?

Larry? You bet old Dominion like every week last year against old Dominion? Nor to make me look bad.

Girl basketball players? We had the conversation. There were two girl basketball players out of ODU. That's what they're known for. They're not a football squad. Moving on, Vack minus is six.

Wait, I decide when we move on.

I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle of my picks. South Carolina plus the two and a half against North Ka.

Where's it plus two and a half? Show me?

Yeah, it is South Carolina getting two and a half against North Carolina.

Unbelievable.

Yeah, so that's Drake may correct, Thank you.

Alabama minus to thirty seven against Middle Tennessee.

Thirty nine and a half.

Whoops, Okay, that's that's a meaningless half point.

I'll say that right now and a half.

It's Larry. It's thirty nine and a half, not thirty seven.

I said thirty nine, right, thirty nine and a half?

Okay, continue, okay.

Tennessee minus twenty eight against Virginia.

Do you know who Tennessee's quarterback is?

Yeah? Like the it's really good.

Thank you.

You're damn right, Larry.

He's got a cannon though he played at Michigan.

That's ready transfer, that's right, that's fine.

His name is Joe Joe Milton, Jill Milton just to let you.

Know he actually fucked me a lot of Michigan.

Oh okay, interesting there, Okay, what else did he call you in the morning?

Then I agree? Then I agree with Shay on Rutgers against Northwestern.

Aaron, there, Mass, you're giving seven.

And I know I had it six and a half. I heard you already give it to say it. Okay, So I'm accepting that.

All right, what else do you have?

And then my last thing is I'm filling that three team teas in what kind of state?

Now? Was your daughter at the Notre Dame Navy game?

Yes?

She was, and you were trying to Were you trying to set her up with Dylan or no?

No, no, no, no, no, no, she was with her boyfriend. I just figured Dylan.

With like that matters Larry Ladies man like Dylan.

She's lucky.

Here's in the five hundreds.

I think Dylan wol went against get away from the old group he was with and go have some fun with some young people.

Oh all right, that's your daughter we're talking about.

I texted Dylan. I said, she's fun, go have a beer with her.

No, we actually texted back and forth in the night. We were kind of stuck in our zone and then uh, honestly.

I just forgot Dylan ghosted her.

Yeah, I just want to I'm playing hard to get Larry.

Okay, can you imagine Dylan, here's this one at Larry's thanksgivingth.

No, no, no, you would do well. Yeah, you would have fun.

I think.

I mean, it's really simplistic lifestyle with Larry in his way.

It's like going to like an Amish Thanksgiving gun it it'd be no, it wouldn't be crazy.

It would be fun. You know Larry's fun I've made.

I've made two trips to Milford so far. You've never been down to the Jersey Shore. The Parker Houses rock and we're keeping open through October. All right, Well, all the good d all the bendies. You're welcome anytime, Shay, anytime you want. You know, that's no Shay, you have to be drinking.

No chance I'm going down there. Okay, Yeah, I understand.

I'm just fine. Say we'll go from here to AC and I think that's about its about it.

Doing drugs, right, we'll get off exit ninety eight. We're bad one.

Just as what if there's no no one there to ask then how the hell am I supposed to get that?

First time I meet Bad Larry? He goes, Hey, I said, where do you live? He goes get off exit ninety eight. You just asked where Bad Larry lives?

Come on and he said, that's the first to say where bad lilas.

Yeah, that's what he said to me.

Sounds like the village, like the light Shyamalan movie. Where's Bad Larry right down there?

That's a that's an obscure that I don't know how Yeah, that's terrible.

Love the movie. Love the movie.

Yeah, all right, anything else that Shaye and Irving. The podcast is back.

It's back, Danny. It's getting weird.

Wife, I mean, your roommate been on the podcast.

No, god, no, there has been times where she's been in the background yelling at me. And that's about it. Though. No, I would never let her on the podcast. Really, yeah, talk about it. Talk about a buzzkilld Danny. I think it'd be pretty good that she would want to get really honest with the audience.

What if I hosted, Oh my god, if I hosted Shane and Irving couples there, I said, your wife has to come on.

After she cooks it after.

Yeah, I don't want her to cook after the milk.

Yeah, put it through the metal detector.

You know. She would probably jump all over that just to shit. Can me all over the internet?

Really?

Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah, Danny. I mean we're doing We're better. She just really doesn't have a lot of patience with me anymore. Twenty years ago she had a lot more, but now she's run out. So my philosophy is, you fall in love, but you have to like each other to stay married. Correct, you fell in love. Yeah, but you guys might not.

Like each other.

No, we do. We like each other a lot. She's just crazy.

Wether are you?

I'm normal, Danny, I'm a normal.

Are you normal compared to her?

No? I mean no, she's like an actual human. I'm a bit wonky when it comes to logic and whatnot.

Okay, when I go over to the house, Yeah, am I gonna go oh my god.

At any point? Yes, in regards to your wife, Yeah, she'll probably correct me a few times sternly. And you might say, oh my god, because I don't put up a fight because it ain't worth it. She just wins every single argument ever, And I just like you know, you know how it is, Danny. You marry that long, you just say whatever the hell you got to say to make it through the fucking night.

Yes, sweetheart, Yeah, you're right, you're right.

I'm so sorry. What was I thinking? And that's it? Yeah? Yeah, what's for dinner?

Bad? Larry could give marriage philosophy. You've been married a long time, forty years, Dan, Larry.

Who cooks in your house? Larry?

Oh, my wife's a great cook.

Yeah, there we go, Yeah, happiness right there?

Yeah, yeah, all right.

If I was I was left in my own advice, I'd have to eat two meals that raise every day. I can't cook.

That's shocking, shocking.

Yeah, we're all so fucking surprised.

Larry, Larry, you can do one thing. Drink Budweiser.

That is it. No, No, you have a negative ten you God damn r You know you haven't done well. You've been awful, Larry.

Yeah.

I don't follow the UFC fights. I don't know who's going to get the submission in the second round. We're in football season, Larry, Larry.

What about all the other things you did bet on? You don't have to bet on UFC. You don't have to bet on Taylor Swift's boyfriend. But you bet every you bet the Mets to win every.

I do that, right, and then then I an't agree with me. I should get out of that bet. But then I had to get my car blown. Oh wait, to drive. No, that was that was the thing to get out of the bet. So no, I'll take those metals.

Alrighty, that'll do it for this week. Dan Patrick takes a gamble. Good luck this weekend, man. The season has officially started, and we'll talk to you next week.

Good luck, y'all,