Episode 81: Dude Trip

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the.

Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now joined by bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

Let's be on our best behavior because now it's bad Larry joining us.

Hey, Hey bad Larry, Hello Dan, Hey doing on man?

Great? How was the weekend?

The weekend? Oh, the weekend was phenomenal. Everyone's down.

No, people like Larry don't have weekends because he doesn't fucking work, so every day's a weekend. He's like, that's true.

When he said how's the weekend, I'm trying to think. We got the province town about an hour ago, and I'm just wandering around. It's a strange place.

Wait, you're in Pete Town. What are you doing in pe Town? Oh?

I think I know?

Is probably.

Just meeting new people, strangers everywhere.

You could have brought ray with you. Picture Dave Red.

There's a lot of thirty eight snubnosed tattoos wandering around. I'll tell you that whoa.

Shot at you?

Yeah, those those tattoos are probably under some garments that you took care of. Our.

By the way, recapping from last week, uh, Dylan lost two units, Shay won three point three, and Larry continues to go south. He lost four point seven units. Who put l O l f U Larry on this? But we all agree, Yeah, let's see next episode. I don't are we doing this from Dublin our next episode?

Yeah? Yeah, there's no other way for us to get Will Ferrell on the podcast. Oh yeah, that's my request telling Damy McBride asked.

Give, but you're not. Danny mcbrown.

Doesn't matter. Will and I have a have a symbiotic relationship telepathy. Last time we were on the phone together, it was radio magic. I think nobody can testify.

Next episode will be live in Dublin next Thursday, and I don't know if Will Ferrell is going to be available.

What's the time change?

Six two until five in the afternoon is when our show is. We would be probably taping this at around five fifteen next Thursday, Dublin time. In the afternoon. Okay, the same time is here?

Got it?

You figure out that.

I did the math, I carry the one. We're good to go. So here I understand, thank you?

All right, there's something else that picture Dave Ray put down.

He goes U.

Tim Anderson knocked out by Jose Ramirez. Speaking of Ko's we posted a graphic of my face on Muhammad Ali Kao ing Sonny Lynston, and then Larry's face was on Sonny Lindstone. Oh no, it's Sonny, listen, listen, not Lynston. In the end is silent, and then Larry DM the instagram saying that could never happen.

Yeah, I got no problem with that.

Oh shit, what does that mean? Larry? Larry and I aren't going to fight, No, but a hypothetical.

Larry's damn a couple of years older than me. I gotta respect my elder.

He's probably got fourteen inches of reach on you.

Larry, and Larry, you got sixty pounds on him, so you're good.

It's not a good sixty. It's not a healthy now.

No, No, Larry's like an advocate. It just all settles in the middle.

There.

Wow, what a reference.

Let's see Larry is hemorrhaging money after his Mets bet. Speaking of which, Phil Mickelson, the report, over the last thirty years, allegedly lost close to one hundred million dollars gambling. Tried to bet on the Ryder Cup he was competing in. Hero made forty three bets on baseball games in one day.

Amazing.

That sounds like that might be a sickness.

No, it's someone to look up to.

Danny, someone who's extremely dialed in.

Yeah.

Also, I saw something that he like the dollar amount that he wagered over those thirty years was like a billion, billion billion.

I saw that.

It's like net lost one hundred million, but like put a billion dollars.

I take that. I take that every day, betting a billion to lose a hundred done. So let me be that guy. Yeah, sounds that's called living.

Maybe it explains some of his decisions that he's made.

You mean, like his marriage? What do you mean?

No? No, like the live tour that he needed that money I need.

First off, if I'm a golfer.

If you if you've bet, if he's lost close to one hundred million, yeah, Okay, it doesn't say how much he's won. It just says he's lost.

How much do you think this was hidden from his wife? Like, that's my question.

A lot?

Okay, all of it, right, we assume all of it.

No, No, I don't think you could bet that much that often and hide it from your wife.

I don't know, Danny, I don't know the roommate. If I was worth feel's worth? What a hundred million?

Well, who knows what he's worth?

Not anymore? Right?

No, but it doesn't say he that he won x number, like he lost a hundred million, but he won three hundred million. It doesn't say that. No, of course he lost one hundred million.

Right, But if you're Phil Milkison, like, what do you not go to dinner with your wife because you lost a hundred million? Now you can still go to dinner, You're still take on occasions, you got private school for all the kids, all that other shit. You could hide it easily from the roommate.

There is no way that you could place forty three bets on baseball games in one day and your wife doesn't know.

That's crazy, that part.

Now, I mean he probably had enough money from like KP ANDNG coming in every year to cover you know, I'd say a billion dollars over thirty years.

Yes, yes, Ray, he's worth eight hundred and seventy five hundred.

Oh, what's a hundred?

If it gives a shit, I'd hide that from the roommate easily, easily. You have a hard time hiding anything from your room. If your shit to making, You're not even allowed to be drinking right now, No, I'm not ru Yes exactly, And she's gonna make She's gonna make Coco Vaughn for you, by the way, Coco Vaughn. Yeah, google it right all right?

When I come back from Ireland, and then your wife is going to make the meal, and then I have to sit there. I mean I get to sit there for the podocast. Yeah, your podcast. You get to meet the kids, the whole bit. Yeah, the dog, everything. It's gonna be awnest.

You're gonna love it.

Danny, all right, Okay, let's recap Dylan. Uh, Let's say Brown's money line versus the Jets. Yeah, yeah, you lost the Browns Jets under the Wyndham call with Justin Thomas. Time to let go Justin Thomas.

I mean, he valiant effort though. Do you see him almost hold that last shot to make.

That you had him to win.

I did have him. He finished top ten though, Uh shay.

Recapping baseball, Danny, that's right, Yeah, you're doing well. Yeah, and then you have some futures on uh Conference USA Big ten and Pac twelve.

How about fucking college football?

So I know, yes, yeah, yeah. Are you happy your long horns helped start this?

They did? Yeah, that's the thing is they Actually if you do that again, we're fighting. Ray just did a horns down Hornstown. Okay, both of y'all getting stabbed. It doesn't matter how don't give a ship. I'll stab everybody in this room except sorry Marvin. Marvin. Marvin's a witness. Marm didn't do it.

Oh yeah yeah in that case. Yeah, you got to keep right.

Let's recap. Bad Larry, Yeah, bad Larry. You know, if you want to jump off the Mets bandwagon here you can hold on.

Well.

I said that last week, and you agreed with me. I'll pay the big and get out.

I did whatever I could to get you off of the fucking text machine. That's what I did.

No, this was on the air, This was live last week.

If you listened to the show, I don't listen to anything that Larry.

The point is you We're gonna bet the Mets every game exactly.

That's it.

You know, you can get a buyout.

If you want to buy out, Larry.

We got some options, and it's gonna be Steph.

Yep. We either install a breathalyzer in your vehicle. That okay. Then you have to be sober for thirty days and breath to lized six times a day. Zero okay. They have fun losing, Larry.

I have an alternative for you. You can have a breathalyzer in your car, but only start if you blow above a point eight.

Oh no, no, no, that's no.

What are you doing the easiest? Okay?

Blowing what?

And then you guys are on this text chain here.

Oh yeah, gets weird.

Larry's saying that's really said?

Or No, I told Larry how sad he was.

They wanted our picks. I sent my picks in at ten o'clock. I don't know if ten o'clock.

Last night they mean gameling picks that actual fucking pictures, Larry, not p I c s.

It's picks.

This wasn't right, This was so all three of you guys just let you know what I'm doing.

No, there is nothing interesting about what you look.

That looks like the opening to catch a predator?

Larry, where's Chris Hansen? Does he show up? And you've asking you about kitty litter and whipped cream?

Take a take a sea?

Yeah, Larry? Do you see that right there? That's a camera?

What are you doing with those three Budweisers?

Later? Okay, all right, let's look for the best.

There was left in the car when I got home last night.

We should have we should have started over or done this another day. It's a mess.

Isn't that the idea?

Though?

I know, but I'm a professional broadcast. I come a Hall of Famer. I'm being brought down.

But yeah, by comparison, you look even better.

Do you think this will be in the Wikipedia article? You like the downfall of Dan Patrick when it began?

Yeah?

Yeah, I agree. I agree.

Every story needs an ending, though.

Okay, here's the bets for this week. Shay, I'll get to you in a second. We'll start with Dylan since he's still leading the change.

Just hemorrhaging slowly here, but NFL preseason then c J. Stroud minus three and a half against the Patriots, the Ravens minus six against the Eagles. Ravens best preseason team in history and Panthers minus three and a half against the Jets.

God, ray, where did you go to college?

What did I do?

You said? The Ravens have won O n E twenty three straight preseason games. You have Sonny Lynston?

Well, my professor was Paul. There you go, and now.

Mario, you got a junk Professorio Fairfield? Yeah, well ship, yeah what Fairfield adjunct professor for?

What? Pernil?

What are you talking about? Okay? What else do you have here?

Dealing Panthers minds three and a half against the Jets. The Jets are I feel like hard knocks all that shit. They're just primed to get smoked by Bryce Young and then Bears Titans under thirty seven just because that game sounds fucking terrible in the regular season and probably even worse than the preseason.

It started out at thirty four and a half. Yeah you got any golf?

Yes, FedEx cut playoff.

Larry obviously will get to the easy sent right, well, all of us his uh matchup bets for the FedEx Saint Jude. So I'm just fading every single one of those, and then I'm taking Stepstroc at top ten plus four fifty. He lost in the playoff last year to z al Taurus, and he's been playing pretty good.

He's been playing really well. It's his name. I think that throws this off. Yeah, like it doesn't sound like he would be weekend and week out great golfer.

He is Austrian.

Those she ah excellent, glad to hear it.

Just I don't know, Shaye, what do you have for me?

Nothing but American capitalism? Danny baseball, baseball, baseball. I got the twinkies laying the one sixty two. My ada is on the bump uh over in the Blue Jays Cleveland game.

Guardians.

I can't even say that guardian.

I can't say it's still they're the guardians.

What's itt uh? And I got the rolls plus two of five against the Socks, the Red Ones and Balmer Balmer Hunt plus one hundred against the Cheaters Baltimore against the Insters, bad Larry.

Okay, I did four golf bets, and of course I don't have them in front of me because I'm wandering the streets.

Yeah you are, okay, you just sneaking the girl. I don't. Yeah, no, you're not the girls that you are not going to be girls in quotations right there, Larry, no arm wrestling. Okay, let me help you with your bets while you roam the streets looking for poppers women. You got Victor Victor okay, you got Victor Hoblin versus Patrick Kntley. Correct, you got Victor Hoblin even though you call him Hoveln versus Xander

Yeah, that was a meaningful type.

All right, Justin Spath. And then Tony Penal versus Ricky Fowler.

That's correct, not daily matchups for the tournament.

And I'm taking the opposite of I'm fading all those.

Yeah.

Yes, you got one unit son eight unit swing between you and I. When I go four and oh, when you go still matter.

Larry, you'll be basically even, and I'll.

Be Larry talking about swings and Peter.

Yeah, Larry, are you aware? Are you aware of provincetone?

I gotta I got a doom tour one o'clock.

You know, dune that sounds worse.

Dune pumpkin regatta or dune turtle tour?

What God? Either one? You're stepping over bodies.

Just you go to the beach and walk. Someone has to tell you how to walk around the sand dunes?

Is that.

No, it's a little historical tour like this.

One's grass the sand.

Larry, you might walk on to some unsuspecting people in Peetown enjoy themselves on the dune.

Uh oh, I will uh you know what, Shaye, just for you, I'll send pictures.

Okay, this isn't enough. I'm done.

QUI no, Larry, actually, yeah, fucking unlovely, you can't.

I'm blocking your number.

You don't want to do this anymore, not with Larry and.

Petetown setting me picks. No, I don't want to. I don't feel like going to Jai.

Fun Pete Town.

Yeah no, it ain't the.

First time I've ever been here.

Looks pretty interesting, Okay, just so you could call yourself curious at this point, I.

Got a cooler full of bud cans. I don't care what anyone says.

I love it. Can I love it?

Okay, I think we better pull the rip cord on this and close up shop. Larry, we wish you well. Send pictures, No, don't send pictures, Clo. And once again our starting lineup is Dylan Shay, Marvin Ray, Ray and then yours truly, Dan Patrick takes a gamble, and we'll let you know about next week in Ireland. Will be at least some of us in Dublin having some fun, some cocktails. Maybe Will Ferrell will join Maybe Will Ferrell will join it.

We're friends, Danny.

Yeah, okay, all right, we'll have a great weekend everybody, and we'll talk to you later. Hope, hope you have a great And by the way, we're not in Ireland next week. Weeks in two weeks, Ray, did you get one fucking thing today?

I'm gonna I'm gonna plead the fifth on that one.

Drink the fifth.

Oh no, no, no, I'll bail right out.

I wrote that, but I wrote next episode will be live from Dublin.

Don't try to bail out your friend.

No, I would never do that. I'm actually just I'm just caping to.

Have a great weekend, everybody. We'll speak to you maybe next week, maybe not