Episode 78: Its Speith Not Spath!

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling. You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now join my bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick morning. Can I say?

Good?

Wait? What what do we got? Who's drinking? Want today? I'm sober?

Name?

Oh of course, thank you. Yeah.

I'm at the Shelbourne Museum in Shelbourne, Vermont with the grandkids. Let me just walk outside the circus the circus room.

Have you been in for my since last week? Larry?

Yes?

Wow, sounds fun.

You know you're you're giving me even more incentive than not retire. If that's what retirement is, maybe I need to worry longer than the next four Na say.

It was an intervention. You're lucky you were away. I was picking up you the roommate. You were coming on the trip with us.

No chance, No, that would be immediate divorce in Lake Champagne, right, Larry, Champagne.

Yeah, yeah, it's Lake Champlain, Larry, not Champagne.

I said Champlain.

That was Dylan. To be fair, it's a Miller highlighte of lakes.

So keep away from that.

Let's recap.

Let's see Dylan one seven point guy, I hate these seven point four to five units. Uh, Shay lost to bad Larry. Oh, Larry, you're in the red.

You lost that.

God you get away from the black. You lost half a unit rather Uh yeah, Marvin would prefer you in the red. Two okay, so uh probably Let me see what potential topics these are the topics that picture Deray pulled out odds for who had the cocaine in the White House?

Oh yeah what? Oh yeah, brother.

I didn't. I didn't see the odds on she.

That's fair, it's fair.

Coincidentally, in Texas last week.

Yeah, where are the odds for this ray? Who owns the cocaine found in the White House? Hunter Biden plus two hundred, Travis Kelcey plus eight hundred, one of the Jonas brothers, Angelina Joe Lee, a member of the Lady Tigers for LSU. Remember what the heck is going?

Can you bet on these?

You can actually bet on these ray Yes you can. Oh my god, have you guys seen these odds? Oh yeah, Oh, I had no idea.

I think Joe fifty. It's kind of a value pick.

Honestly, I think I think doctor Jill Biden on this list.

Well, she's second, she's second on the down at the bottle, second, no, second to the bottom. She's there taking. I think you probably do take a barlay with Jill and Joe.

It's wouldn't likely that it was just one. I mean they're probably doing blow together, right.

Yeah, I'm saying Jill and Hunter. Remember Hunter a Robin Bonder or Robin what's his name, fucking Biden? His name is Robin. His first name is Robin. First off, the kid, No, no, no, no, the junkie. Oh yeah, Robin Hunter, by wait, started sleeping with his brother's widow. It was half raised in that family while he was smoking crack. So I don't think it's out of the remant possibility that him and doctor Jill are banging out lines whenever they can't get out.

I'm just saying, no, no reason you That's exactly what we don't have on this program.

Deductive reasoning. What what DeMar Hamlin in this list too, Like.

I feel like that's the last guy, Coconut. What's the line on that one plus two thousand?

Sierra is on here too, Okay, Ciara Sierra? Who's Sierra? That's Russell Wilson Junior the third c. No, it's Sierra. No, it ain't yeh, it is for real A C I A R A yeah Sierra. Well they got to do a spell check in that, fuck.

No because I thought it was Ciara. Yeah, and then Rusk would come on and then he would mention her name and call her Sierra.

In between prayers.

Shay picture in umlaut over the aw.

We're talking.

Which film will have higher grossing year, Barbie or Oppenheimer. Barbie minus two fifty Oppenheimer plus one seventy. It's the value bet what do you what are you taking Barbie all day?

Yeah? Me too?

Yeah, yeah, wider audience too. Right, Actually the Barbie movie isn't it's like PG thirteen.

Yeah, but it's also feminazi propaganda, so that's true. I don't know if that's what is true, is that in the trailer it is they introduced ken as like the patriarchal dude who wants to keep Barbie down and have this misogynistic view on life. The reality is canon Barbie are a team. Are you gonna take your daughters to Barbie? No? Absolutely not any Barbie.

The over under Barbie worldwide grossing is six hundred and fifty million dollars.

Well, they ain't playing that shit in China. I'll tell you that.

I probably not playing Oppenheimer either.

Or in Japan.

Definitely not in Japan.

Yeah, all right, all right, let me let me can good, good call, Dylan. Let's see, Shay just had a couple of baseball bets. Nobody cares bad. Larry some good some bad. Uh. Dylan had Carlos al Karez to win Wimbledon, Scotti Scheffler top five. You won that one, Harry Higgs to win Barbasol missed that one, and you you also had a parlay of the final four.

Yeah, man, you crashed.

That was Actually that one was like I got scared about that because it seemed too obvious because there to pay up minus one fifty. That's pretty good lock of the century.

All right, bets for this week, Dylan, I'll let you start the Open Championship. As we're taping. This has been underway for quite a few.

Hours already, Dan Well, I have Justin Thomas top ten.

Love Justin.

I do love Justin Thomas. After watching some of the coverage today, I love him a little bit less. But I got him at plus six hundred. It's probably higher than that now.

Top ten, Yeah, top ten, okay.

Jordan Speath top ten, plus three hundred, speces looking good today. He finished two under. I think yeah.

He has not won a tournament since April twenty twenty two. Yeah, dude, came on hot. Oh, I know he did.

He lost. I remember he lost that playoff to Matt Fitzpatrick at the RBC. I think, yeah, that was just like that was the closest he's gotten lately.

Okay.

And then my boy Adam Scott to win plus six thousand, okay, usually plays well at the Open. He's actually been playing pretty good golf.

It'll be the best looking golfer.

There and best looking swing.

Maybe, yes, would you rather look like Adam Scott? Or would you rather swing like Adam Scott?

Swing looks her? Dumb?

Yeah?

Swing looks her dumb. Women don't care about looks, Danny, They don't they care about like making them laugh and making them feel bad about themselves.

That's it looks fade.

Which which one are you good at? I'm good at both, Danny. I make them laugh and I make them feel awful. Okay, they just keep coming back.

Make them laugh at themselves, right.

Okay, anything else? So I got to have a Formula one bed in.

Here and Budapest and the Hungry Grand Prix. Okay, Lewis Hamilton podium finish plus one oh five, Maxiver stopping fastest lap minus one, and Lando Norris podium finished plus two eighty five.

Okay, all right, maybe, uh, your roommate gave you some good information.

I highly doubt it, but we're gonna try.

All right, and we turn our attention to Shay, who wants nothing to do with golf or anything else.

It's just baseball. Yeah. I got the Hagants lying minus one oh five, the Reds, Yeah, the Commedi's laying or actually the plus one hundred against the Buckos. That's Toronto. Yeah, Kubbies and Uncle Steve over nine, uh, and then the Cubbies minus one thirty Cubbies and the messine playing the fucking Cubs. They're playing the Socks over nine. Period Kubbi's laying Kubby's laying one thirty five against the Cardinals. Did you make a mistake, Runny me Chicago?

Two teams?

You know?

Okay? Whatever socks Kopex on the on the bomb, I got the overnight. Uh bad, Larry, Oh bad, Larry. It's your turn, No problem.

Guys, I sent my gospics in this morning. I didn't even know that this corner was going on.

Stop stop, I'm telling you.

I'm on vacation, Dan, I don't I don't have internet. I don't have any of that stuff. I have R I went. I believe Xander and justin space.

It's space. It's Jordan's Jordan's speed, just in space. See you did this with Luca, don chick.

Did I take Xander or did I take Scotti? Steff? I don't remember.

You got Xander at plus one.

Eye plus one fifty Jonathan space.

Okay, don't forget. I still out my Mets every game. I don't know how they're doing either. Okay, last week I took the Mets every game since we all started.

Yes, Ray, are you keeping track of that?

I am keeping track.

Okay, you're keeping track of that, all right? Anything else bad?

Larry No, No, I'm just the girls wandering ahead of me, and now I got to try and find them.

Maybe they don't want you to yeh.

I'm like, this is like I'm in the middle of like a forest on some some path.

And I'm looking for my camp on mushrooms.

Larry No, No, butterweisers very soon. Uh, okay, restaurant, we have to go.

Are you betting on the US Women's World Cup?

Oh? I forgot about that. God. A buddy of mine said they're they're locked tonight.

I tried.

I went online. I couldn't. I couldn't get an interest. So I don't know. So I wanted to take whatever the goal line US girls tonight, I think it was. He said it was nine o'clock.

I think it's minus six and a half against Vietnam in soccerl that's yes, right, right, that can't be right.

It's it's right there, minus twenty thousand to win the game. And I looked it up and there're six and a half goal favorites here.

How many people live in Vietnam.

Live in Vietnam, All kind of them are on the soccer team.

In less than non But you know what, I'll take.

I want to switch my bet. I want getting six and a half goals.

I'll take damn it, I was going to take.

I'll take Vietnam.

You would go Commed.

How many people are in Vieta? How many people are in Vietnam?

Rae ninety eight? Ninety eight million?

Okay?

Wow?

What what was the what were you looking for? Show?

It's a quarter of the US population. You gotta wonder how bad the town pool is from ninety eight million?

Yeah, but I mean I feel like we get wax and soccer by countries of smaller populations?

Is Rapino still on the Women's Day?

It's our last one?

Morgan too? Yeah? I think so last one too.

They wouldn't have Game four nothing. They're not gonna They're not going to score seven goals.

Okay, so you got Vietnam plus six and a half.

What's the Vietnam money on?

What? Right?

What?

Five? Five hundred?

This is Vietnam's revenge gonna.

I've got I've got some spare change. I'm gonna throw a unit on yeah, straight up. Another vote for the commedis, Look, we already beat them once, right.

No, we lost that one. Yeah, we did bust in the French. We all lost that ship. Everybody lost over there. Uh, Larry, Yeah, I think that's it.

So if you want to go try to find your your wife and your other wife.

I got to hang up and call him and where the hell they are? Say good luck, I'm glad you're back. What your back? Drinking? I'm coming up?

I can't wait. Okay, that's that's bad.

Larry somewhere on vacation in the woods with his wife and his wife's sister.

Yeah. I don't understand it either. Yeah. Is it vacation if you're unemployed or is it just hanging out in a different area.

I think if you're in a different area, that might be a vacation as opposed to just being at home.

I guess technically.

Just like farting around in Vermont because he can, right, And that's I mean.

I think that it doesn't sound fun if you listen to Larry.

No, like he's a bad he's a bad example of even.

If his wife's sister is fun. Uh, she has to be fun.

Yeah, she has to be She's.

No, she's not. Are you are you back doing your podcast? Football season will be back on, So we got a little little time, little time, but we will make a special exemption if Danny shows up. Okay, the roommate and I are getting along pretty well, I will say, so you buried the lead. Well, I went to Dallas alone, Danny with three with your daughters, all three of them alone. I got on a plane. I did that alone. The roommate got a jobby job, believe it or not, which

Is your youngest potty trained no oh good, good stuff and halfn't oh man.

Yeah, she's a terrorist. She is our most violent shi yeah yeah, if she was our first baby, we'd have one baby. Yeah. Like she's the one who's like no more after me. You know, it hits everything.

Out of the four of you guys on the plane, you and her are the team most likely to piss your pants.

Right.

She was a hitting steward. She's violent, she's mean.

On that plane that do you see that plane that got stuck on the tarmac in Vegas And it was like one hundred and eleven degrees and people are like fainting and stuff.

I would have been arrested for a JAF Yeah absolutely, gehaw this motherfucker right now.

Yeah, we don't encourage that. But the podcast Shane Irving is on hiatus, as they like to say in the business. Uh so it'll be, it'll be in the fall. And I promise Wednesday night, when I know that you two are in.

Love, we're good, Danny, We're good. Yeah, but that could change. That could change over the week.

Probably tonight.

That could change this afternoon. You know. So I don't want to go.

I'm gonna I'm gonna go there Wednesday night and then all of a sudden, you're going to Danny, you don't want.

To be here when I gone. She had a dinner party with fifteen women, like eat, pray, love, shit, oh.

Oh yeah, traveling pants.

Oh no, yeah, she hooked the whole thing, and like they just sat around and shit talked husbands.

But do you think it was like that scene in Jerry Maguire where all the women are around bad mouthing their husbands and then all of a sudden Tom Cruise walks in and then they stop.

Yeah, it's pretty much that, but there were no men all out in the house whatsoever. It was seriously something. Crystals they got tarot cards and crystals and fucking all kind of satanic shit going on. Yeah, nobody's praying, not a single one of them where they should. I mean, I'm gonna be singling heaven, Danny. I think that's true.

Isn't everyone?

No, what do you mean? You go with your wife and she's what are you talking about?

Oh?

Do you think that you're going to heaven like me? There's a heaven? Absolutely, Danny? You kidding me? Is there a heaven? There's no heaven? What is wrong with you? Nothing, there's no heaven. No, there's no God. Now there might be yea God, but there's no heaven. Oh, there's an eternal paradise. Everybody paying attention, listening and listen out.

It's gonna be far hot.

Is this year evangelical side coming out?

Oh?

Yeah, I went to church for the first time in twenty three years. Yeah, So don't be preaching to me. I'm not preaching. It's fact preaching. Yeah, let's get.

God on here and say what do you think of Shay?

Where he got There will be no radio in heaven, So I guess that makes sense. Okay, who believes that there's a heaven? Shae? Does you fucking atheist?

The child in me wants to but rationally.

Yes, but you're grown up.

Yeah, I am an atheist.

Picture day, Ray, do you think there's a heaven?

I'm out on that one.

It's okay.

It's way more likely that there's only hell.

Marvin, do you believe that there is a heaven? You have a spiritual side of your family and very spiritual.

Can I get an amen? Mark?

Yeah?

Very?

I would never. I would never agree with Dylan, but you're agreeing with Shay.

What that would be cool if there was heaven. But I'm not a fucking baby.

I'm fine if there's If there's a heaven, So you think you die, you just die?

Yeah, you're done.

You return back to the earth like you're Whatever's.

The hippiest bullshit I've ever been a part of.

No, they're like, you think we float up and then there's some like way to float up.

I think your spirit yes, a sins if you're saying, and if you're not, you are in for an eternity of weeping and gnashing of teeth. Have fun.

Okay, but why are you talking so highly about heaven when you're not going to heaven.

I'm going. No, you're not. Absolutely, there is no I'm in the fast Land. You're not in the hov Lane. No Jesus hov no.

No, there is no way in the world. That's why there's no heaven because of people like you. Okay, yeah, fair, you ruined it forever. We brought it down right to the studs. Yes, okay.

You can still get duties in heaven too.

I think no chance. There's no duties in heaven. Everybody's in the golf court, everybody.

I like that.

All right.

You know what, I'm back. You know I've totally changed. I'm in I'm having thing.

All right.

Uh well, thanks for joining us. Our pleasure to serve you for Dylan Picture Day, Ray Bad, Larry and and Marvin.

This is yours, truly, this has been Dan Patrick takes a gamp

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