Episode 71: STFU Larry

This is Dan Patrick takes a gam.

Gambling was something that I did a clever way to circumvent Dan actually making bets himself by using a proxy, and I became consumed by it.

And now joined by bad Larry and Dylan the graphics guy. Here's Dan Patrick.

Thank you, Larry, for whatever reason, you sent a picture of you in a parking lot with your shades on.

My wife woke me up at seven and we're going to like some Columbus, like an hour from my house. So now we're on our way home. I just pulled up the side of the road to take the call.

Columbus. Yeah, is that New Jersey?

Yes, it is. You can google it. It's like some big.

Nobody cares about Columbus, New Jersey, Larry, Like nobody like, did anything had happened there? Larry.

Yeah, my wife went and spent a fortune and then we're driving all this stuff.

It's all her, runny Larry, Larry, you have to have a fortune for your wife to spend it.

Okay, okay, just demoralized.

Okay, all right, let me recap last week. Dylan lost two units, so you're minus five. Bad Larry won one unit. He's plus fourteen, Shay won twenty seven units. Last week, He's up to plus twenty eight. Bang, bang, motherfuckers. How did that happen?

Danny. It's called handicapping.

It's called being handicapped. I knew exactly what I was doing. I've been waiting this all year, Brooksy to win it all plus twenty five hundred.

That's it. Okay, baseball, I've been good, been pretty good. I know. I know.

I keep saying that nobody bets on baseball and wins, and you you're proving me wrong there, keep winning. So and what what you two are going to arm wrestle? You and Dylan are arm wrestling.

I blacked out, Danny, I don't remember.

A great Yeah, there was apparent there's a competition that is potentially underway.

How many how many drinks do we have to have before?

I think we can let the powers of b set the number on that and then I don't know, Well, I Shay got I mean obviously total Fluke won twenty seven units. Say I went negative. So it's like, I have an idea, maybe we can arm wrestle for all the units there.

All the units, no, not all of them. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Oh why because I have I'm up twenty eight years down five. It's stupid. You want to trade twenty eight for negative five?

Okay, okay, this is dumb. Why do you guys have to drink to do the arm wrestling?

Because we're both too strong, so we need like a handicap. Okay, I'm not gonna do it sober. That's weird.

Okay, let's see anything that needs to be mentioned on your end Larry before we proceed.

Well, just so, he won twenty five units on.

Book, twenty seven units all together.

Yeah, well he had Scotti Schiffler in the top five or something. I know he had a great week. Say you guys, lad, did anyone want.

To take a golf bet we go?

I'm glad to see you on the positive side.

Did you guys have a group chat? Yeah? Last night?

Yeah, a little one.

What what happened? Larry is an asshole? We'll just let him know.

Well, just you know, I well, I welcome shade to the positive side. And I get a little yeah, I got the s T f U that that I had to ask one of my kids what I mean, Larry.

That's called inferring shut.

The Yeah, Okay, Uh, let's see bad Larry. Uh the Lakers plus five and a half against the Nuggets Celtics to win the series against the Heat.

Good luck they won?

Yeah yeah, so well the Celtics that with me.

No, I'm not.

Not not this series, that series where he's given me credit for her.

Yeah, I'm just looking back on what you did. Uh. But the big bet was Brooks kept go to win. That was plust twenty five hundred.

Dylan still has the Nuggets to win the NBA title at plus nine hundred. I like that.

Yeah, well, I guess.

So because they're in the final.

Yeah, it's them against somebody else. So you got a really good chance there.

Are you going to hedge that? Nah? Good hedgings for Pussy's good that. I'm no gardner. Yeah, you didn't do well and go what ray I was gonna say? They're minus two oh five to win the title right now? So he's stealing. Yeah, wow, I might I might read buy back in too. You've not a worse price. Okay, Uh, you didn't do well in college lacrosse? Nope, that believes or not? That parlay did not hit and PGA Championship.

I went out for three all right, Ricky Fower miss the cut from kind of crawled back but.

Stunk and JT I think he shot ten over on Saturday. That brings us to this week. And uh, Shay, you're in the lead, bless you.

Shit tight Yeah, zoon tight is right, German body, all right, are you ready to uh dive in this week?

Your eating? Let's get weird and he'll lead us off. Here we go.

We got Carrasco plus one hundred versus the Cubbies, you know, Rockies plus one oh five against me Yammy, and I got ballmer m O's plus one fifteen against the Yankees NBA. I'm taking the heat plus eight and a half. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I don't give a shit. Shay has won his last six baseball bets, at least on this show. I'm Danny. I'm twelve for fifteen, last fifteen, twelve and fifteen. It's impressing. The office is freaking out. We watched baseball all day long at work all day

I had the Celtics minus seven and a half. So now you're telling me, I know it's a half.

It's eight and a half.

It's eight and a half, Okay, I.

Still want it one union of Celtics minus eight and a half, Okay, I want I want under for the first half of that game. I think it's like one ten.

Yeah, one ten okay.

And I went over in the Mets Cubs game at Wriggling tonight.

That's seven and a half.

Okay.

I didn't have that number, so over seven and a half. I love that both those pitchers ras are like six.

That seems almost like a trap. Yeah, trappy trap. Carrasco z Ra is eight point sixty eight. Yeah, yeah, he's having a bad year. Hendricks just came back.

So yeah, Dylan, you can go yard at Wrigley. So there's gonna be a couple of bass lying at at Wrigley tonight.

Wow. I actually can play the lumber Larry, And could you throw a baseball out of Wriggly Larry or a golf ball?

A golf ball back then not anymore, Dan, but yeah, so golf balls you could throw one hundred and thirty yards. I could anyway. I don't know if you guys could.

It's so full of shit. So that was back then, but that's not now.

No, no, no, no no. I couldn't throw a golfle out of Wrigley anymore.

Okay, but back in the day you could stand at home plate and throw a golf ball out of.

Or from the warning track.

Do you have warning track power now with your arm?

Probably not. I haven't gone to golf in twenty five years. I don't know how far I could throw it.

That's when they put the shift on all the outfielders coming out there infield.

I'm pretty sure I could only throw it once.

Oh yeah, yeah, then your arm's gonna fall off absolutely. Rotator cuffs are absolutely all right, Dylan, here we go.

Alrighty Charles Schwab Invitational. I'm going to you to take Michael Block top forty plus three hundred.

Why the hell not? Well, just a unit fund the root for it.

He's now ranked five hundred and seventy seventh in the world. As a big job he went, he came up three thousand spots in the world golf ranking. Hell yeah, I love this guy, Yank. He's in better shape than the guys on the Live Tour when there was ranking.

I think wasn't before the mass It wasn't all like into the five hundreds in the world ranking.

Yeah, I think he was pretty uh pretty high up there.

Yeah. Okay, So I got that he heat plus eight and a half for ce Celtics tonight. And I'm also gonna.

It's a weird bet. I mean it's a weird line. The line that's a fast something going on the line. Yes, there's something going on there.

But I also want to add heat money line too.

Oh, I think they close it out. They do, okay in a gentlemanly fashion, all right, gentleman sweet.

And then obviously more importantly Dan, it's the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend, and I got some hot tips from the old plug.

Wait, wait, is this a bodega guy?

No, No, I don't know what happened to him. He's more of a soccer guy. No, this is from from the old Lady. She apparently max for step and doesn't do well on road courses, i e.

The Monico Grand Prix.

So I'm going with his teammate Sergio Perez to win at plus two eighty five.

I have been in Monaco. I went to Monico once.

It's not a competence. I was in France, niece, and then we drove over to Monica. I just wanted to see what it looked like.

That's basically what I did.

I mean, I didn't go to the Grom Prix, well Grom, I just I wanted to see what Monica look like.

Well, it's where that the casino that was in Casino Royale is there? Yeah, and it's also it's like the taxi cabs there are like rolls Royces.

Don't you have to like a tuxio to get in that? Yeah? I was wearing like basketball shorts. They're like naddude, not a lot. Yeah. Sometimes you dress like Adam Sandler. You know. I like to mix up pretty good today, though you do. Where are you going nowhere? Oh? You little son?

You dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

I got a little son walking from my car into the building. Okay, what else?

Sergio Prez fastest lap plus three fifty and Lewis Hamilton to finish on the podium plus three eighty. Apparently Mercedes has a new car that could either be shitty or good.

So I'm rolling the dice. What happened to lou was Hamilton?

He was He was the goat, I think, and then Max were Stapping rolled up and became the new goat.

So he's still fourth in f one points.

Yeah, but he but he used to like it used to be like he was basically he.

Was tiger, Yeah, tiger versus the field.

He was the only person like name anyone new flap one. Like you're like, I think I've heard of that guy.

But he got knighted. Yes, he's certainly was Hamilton. Come on, yeah, why they kind of night don't they? H I don't think him and Dame Judy Dench.

The British crown another imperialist force should be wiped off the face of the earth. Nick Faldo got knighted. Yeah, see that's a problem, you know.

Uh.

Fred Couples couples, Yeah, Freddie couples, not fud Freddie c Yeah, let's see anything else that needs to be mentioned.

That's it for me, except I flipped the next page. It's just a giant picture of Larry on the back.

Yeah. That's not a good thing to wake up to.

As a guy with sinning hair, I would maybe hit the roguin.

I didn't even look at the picture because I was his son.

Oh yeah, yeah, it sends all the hair off your head.

It was the angle of the camera there that you look great the dark, Larry, I tell you, I think you. I think you look great, Larry, I did too.

Yes, when is this arm wrestle? When's this arm wrestling match coming off?

Whenever you show up?

Larr okay, And that's fine. And Dylan, you can only bet five units, so that's our rule. Remember that I saw you in that text thing. You said you want ten units on yourself in that arm wrestling thing.

Yeah, I got what is What does it matter to you?

You won't even be here, no ship.

I might want to bet on it.

Now you have to be NFL be here to bet on it.

When when is it?

Whenever you come up and jokes on you, Larry are actually playing Russian roulette when you come up.

Yeah, and there's only one chamber that's empty.

You have a one six chance of not shooting yourself in that.

Yeah, whenever you get up here, Larry, we got a drinking game, we got arm wrestling. We have had pretty full child chili a chili COMPETI eat off.

We should have that at the sock. Actually that would be good.

How many bowls of chili can you eat? We'll have cornhole? Maybe cornhole? Yeah, yeah, the whitest show in America right now. So Larry, these you love playing games? These are right up your alley. Cornhole, Larry is a great cornhole.

That makes so much sense. Yes, he's a great corn probably decent horseshoes too. I'm sure he is darts. He's good to gotta be, Larry.

We do al I don't like chili, so they're gonna win the chili eat off. I think I win every other.

Game away it. You like chili, so you win the drinking contest, you'll win cornhole. No chance you'll win darks Yes, yes, what else?

I don't know what else? O?

Pool?

I'm smoking pool, ping pong table people can be. I can lose in pool, all right, but not in ping pong.

Yeah, I don't think so.

I'll be in ping pong.

I'm confident, Dylan, you're like twenty.

Five, twenty seven and a half.

Larry, you have no chance the hell that doing anything. I just gotta I gotta size you up over.

The phone, Larry, Larry, just be honest with us. You're never gonna come up. Just just say that and then I won't bring it up again.

No, No, I.

Want to come up. It's just like Thursdays start my weekend.

You don't have a job there, truly reason. Okay, this is what I'll do. I'll record it on Friday.

Okay, all right.

Well the day you record the show on Friday, I'll be there.

All right, okay, okay, next week, next.

Friday, next Friday. My wife, I don't know what I have planned for next Friday.

Wow.

How about you don't let her tell you what to do for one weekend and you just drive up here.

If we're doing a show on Friday, I'll be there. Okay, I have to come up and come up and come back.

Wow, that could be funny.

You're not going to be able to go back if you guys are going to do drinking games.

Exactly, Larry. We'll all chip in for an Amtrak ticket for you.

I got drivers want to come up. We're good. I just got to clear it with my wife, No problem, schedule it for next Friday.

So cool, Larry.

Next Friday, bad Larry. Friday in studios, go and then they'll be drinking. Then the cornhole chili pool, ping pong and how far can you throw a golf ball?

All right, good news.

The turfield in here, Larry is only about like forty real yards, so you might be able to go end to end.

By the way.

Shay and Irving his podcast, it's called Shay and Irving. Yeah, that's the podcast. And I owe you a trip to your house. Yeah for a Thursday Wednesday, might be Wednesday Wednesday night night?

Yeah night, yeah, night evening. Now is there is there dinner involved? Absolutely? The roommate will cook. Yeah.

Oh she can cook. She can throw down like a son of a bitch. Okay, yeah, okay, well well a little chicken scarpiellow okay, a little uh chiapenie okay, maybe roasted chicken okay, classics. No, she can she can really cook.

Like next Wednesday.

Yeah, sure, if I say, pencil me in at your house for your podcast.

Yeah, see at seven seventh? Yeah, okay is seven dinner? Yeah, we have dinner and then we do the podcast.

Yeah, why don't we do dinner at six and then we do podcasts seven? So I'm using in bed by.

All right, I mean fine, I'll rearrange my schedule.

Danny there's nothing else going on there.

We got to put the kids to bed. No, no, I want to see all of that, all right?

Oh yeah, the dinner at six? All right, they're at six. What's your request for dinner? Just that it's at six o'clock?

Food? You got any No allergies, no peaking ducts.

Shouldn't do that, thank god, Wellington. No, no, she can do No. I like what you just said. I want her to. I want to play to her strengths.

Tasting like a tasting menu. Scariello is my favorite.

That's fine, that's fine, we can do that, all right. See what you're missing out on?

Larry?

What Marvin?

What time are we all going over there? Yeah? Link through? Okay, through, probably buy a lot of chicken, all.

Right, fishing, we'll go fishing, pull some trout out, smoke them there on the trigger. Uh, Larry, Next Friday, we'll see you here in.

The man cave.

You might you might see me, win.

Larry, you don't invite yourself to a party, okay.

You you even need something to do at eight thirty when Dan goes to bed, I might as well be there.

Crack open the buds, I got it. Yeah, And by the way, that's all. Larry drinks buds. Nothing else I can do that what bud cans? Yeah, I know, Larry.

Larry's Larry's pouring white zinfandel is a couple of ice cubes.

Some sunset.

Alright, alright, So Wednesday, all do Shay and Irving podcast. Friday, Bad Larry shows up, shows up in person. First time these guys will have met bad Lairry.

I'm a little nervous. You should be. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm telling you Larry is sneaky. He's sneaky athletic, he's sneaky competitive, sneaky drinker. Just saying yeah, I'm not I'm not understed. I'm not rooting for him, no runey for him to get crushed. But I'm just telling you you'll get dominated.

Yeah, all right, I'm looking I'm looking forward to.

It, all right.

Shane Irving, Shane Irving Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts for Dylan the graphics Gy, Shane Irving, Bad Larry. I'm Dan Patrick. We'll talk to you next week.