Episode 68: Northern Alabama

This is Dan Patrick takes a gam.

Gambling was something that I did a clever way to circumvent Dan actually making bets himself by using a proxy, and I became consumed by.

It and now joined by bad Larry and Dylan the graphics guy. Here's Dan Patrick.

This Alabama baseball coach thing is wild awesome.

Yeah, have you heard about this bad Larry Alabama baseball coach?

What the baseball coach at Alabama got fired and there was some gambling action on Alabama baseball games. The State of Ohio's Betting Commission received information from a certified independent integrity monitor regarding Alabama's loss to LSU last Friday night.

I didn't hear word one on it.

Yeah, this is.

So people in Ohio found out something about an Alabama l s U baseball game.

He had somebody running for him in Ohio. Also, Yeah, oh yeah, he's farming them out absolutely, Larry, you're probably doing plausible deniability right here.

To do with Larry just got back from Ohio.

So Brad Bohannan, among other things, violating the standards, duties and responsibilities expected of university employees. He's been relieved of all of his duties.

Wow, I got a question about duty. About what was the thing he got fired for, not just gambling.

But violating the standards, duties and responsibilities expected of university employees.

This is after like you know, the basketball scandal, Yeah, and that bang bang Yeah. This guy gambling is worse than that.

Somebody got killed and somebody supplied a gun to somebody shot.

There's no violation anything that kind of happens in Alabama.

Oh yeah, it's what was it? Wrong place, wrong time?

I could have believe it. What are you doing? What are you doing? Bad? Larry? Glad to have you back? You had? Uh.

Let's see, you won one unit last week. You're at plus nine. Shay lost six last weekft uh, Dylan it the comeback. Don't call it a come back. You won six and a half units last Week's here at minus three and a half.

Claw on my way back.

All right, So we got Kentucky Derby. We'll recap the NFL draft. Uh, some futures here, any anything else that needs to be mentioned here?

Ben Denucci the nuts. You know what I want to say? You can't listen. I got bleeped out. You're not allowed to say that.

We said he was just an upstanding guy.

Yes, we did the nuts without papers. The nuts is getting a tryout with the Denver Broncos is so upset?

Yeah, yeah, and I'd probably stick with the Sea Dragons.

Honestly, Oh, I'm bailing, No way, I'm jumping ship.

You want to go try out for the Broncos and find Ben Denucci?

Dan, I actually did. I had something terrible happened to me over the weekend. I was just a big college lacrosse slate and I had a ten leg parlay, hit nine of them. And you know who fucked me?

Denver?

No goddamn Providence Larry, Oh Larry against John's. Yeah apparently you do, but not well. Yeah, And it was just it was to win like three grand and it was just ripped out from allow.

And I never got to forget that.

No, I honestly, I like to be like, you know what, you can't change the pass, and every once while I was sitting there and I'm like, should have fucking taken Saint John's goddamn it.

Recapping last week, bad Larry lost two units Kings over the Warriors, You got one unit Lakers over the Grizzlies, two units Celtics over the Hawks, Warriors, Kings over two thirty five. You lost Lakers against the Grizzlies. How would you sum up what happened to you last week?

Bad Layer?

I lost a couple of games my series. I'm betting series bets today and I did a little research on my derby. Although are we going to have a Kentucky Derby? Like, didn't four horses die yesterday or something?

Yeah, I'm assuming we're still having the Kentucky Derby?

Oh, yeah we are.

They don't care about dead horses.

That's a Wednesday.

Peter's flying there now.

Peter ain't going nowhere near the Derby. Shut up, Larry, I can't believe you know what Peter is. By the way, that's surprising.

It's Peter, Peter friend Peter.

All right, but you you have bets for this week. You're betting on the Kentucky Derby.

I did put some bets in just for the I mean, I don't think I want them on the show. Well, we'll talk about him, but how are we going to keep track of these if.

They're not on the show, we ain't talking about them. We're not hanging out, Larry.

You we're hanging out because I'm this is just for the fans out there who want to bet.

On the Derby fans of Larry I don't.

I don't know if you have fans.

Maybe a few enemies at the most.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know if any of us have fans on this.

But uh by two o'clock there's gonna be a stream of kids heading up to Mama's Park to bet where I put out here today.

Oh oh, it'll be the short bus headed up to Monmouth Park.

Okay. Uh well, Larry, why don't Why don't you.

Put out the lines and I guess you'll you'll gamble on the fact is somebody gonna gamble on your betting lines and ruin them?

Okay, here we go, Here we go, Here we go.

Series bets two units on the Lakers, okay, three units on the Heat and three units on the Celtics.

Okay.

Now, since I'm going Dan, I know I'm going to my boy Jackie Steiml's house right now to watch the met game. So I'm putting one unit on Burlander. Game starts at one ten, okay against Detroit in Detroit. I know it's a bad betro I'm sitting here drinking beer with him watching the game. I gotta have some action on.

It, okay.

And he's going back to Detroit. Yeah, he's going back to Detroit like him and Max Scherzer. Going back to Detroit didn't go well for sure? Up, yes he did.

Okay.

Uh, you actually thought the game was tomorrow night. From what I'm told. Radio told me that. You said the game is tomorrow night.

No, no, then tomorrow night's game. I want one unit on the Suns minus three and a half.

No, no, no, you're just making ship up here. You thought the Mets Tigers game was tomorrow night, Dan, Dan, I love Ray.

I don't want to throw him under the bus. Look at the thing. It says one unit Mets Verlander, Detroit. The next line below it says Tomorrow night, Sun's minus three game three one unit.

Okay.

Well, if I have to fire Radio, then I will. But let's get through the podcast. Let's get through the podcast. I will come to raise defense.

Though I've seen the sheet, Larry sends it like fucking hieroglyphics.

It's impossible.

I don't know.

It's like the movie. It's like the movie seven. You know, when he's writing ship down, that's what it looks like Larry.

All right, do you have your Derby bets?

I do want me to do them right now?

No, wait till tomorrow night, wait till sunday.

What are you doing?

Larry?

Okay?

Here, here are my Derby bets. Okay, get your pens out, boys. It's written one dollar try box three five six fifteen. I'm you know, with no baffort. I'm betting on'm pletcher. You know the three horse. I think it was a two fills. I gotta go my brother Phil and my nephew Phil. Two fills that's gonna be in the in the mix been a five dollars exactly box three five six. So the trybox cost me twenty four bucks. The five dollar exactly box cost me thirty and then I want

Thirty up? Whatler? Yeah?

Thirty up one two, seven, eleven, twelve, thirteen, sixteen, eighteen, nineteen and twenty.

I might fucking follow that ship. Just that weird?

Why not?

Yes?

Way? Cheat hit us paper, No big deal.

It's if a monster comes in, you might as well have two bucks on it. And you guys on your way to the track. Put a little more than two on.

Themi like Shay going to sports Haven tomorrow to start laying these down by the way, going to get weird new Haven.

Uh baseball clarity? What since? What's it? Sportorts? Ot OTV maybe OTB Oh yeah, yeah, okay ot he was by that. I never knew what it was. Oh, it's heaven on Earth. It looks like I got a full bar. How depressing is you can bet on dogs there?

Oh? Really?

Yeah, it's great. I always look it depressing when you're going to mean depressing. No, Danny, My whole life's depression.

That's why I go to sports Haven to make it a little bit of peace and make it more depressed.

No, it's amazing. God, you're the only guy that it's not depressing. It's amazing.

Can you walk outside and you get to see all the smoke stacks behind it and stuff.

It's a beautiful vista.

Yeah, you can see Bridgeport off a good day, Yeah, take away and cranking all day A.

Right, So you're gonna go and you're gonna you're gonna bet their O TV.

Yeah, that's the thing about the Derby. All the odds are gonna move anyway. It doesn't really matter what we're doing today, but I'll lay it down. Uh baseball Jack Flaherty, Wait, did you give.

Me your Kentucky Derby the Oh they're on here?

I know, but you gotta tell us right now, as opposed to when Larry.

Wait till tomorrow.

I got Soga cocka you wash your mouth, Suga cocka, soda cake, soda geky ten to one, put a half unit on that, disarmed thirty to one, half unit on that, and forte obviously you got to put a unit on that just because damn trainer.

Okay, can we getting the baseball now? Yeah? Sure?

In America's past time. Here we are in the United States of America without Italian Americans. Cardinals minus one forty flairdy on the bump, White Sox plus one ten al Central is wide open. I don't think the Twinkies are that good. And then I got Colorado plus one twenty five. They got a couple of hitters in that lineup that are really good against the Brewers pitcher and then basketball Lakers over two two seven, and I like the next

Right, Dylan, Yeah you Sarry Derby Sugar, why not?

You got to do that, all right.

I'm taking Practical Move to win ten to one on a little heater right now, three in a row, you know, on that Raise Caine to win fifty to one is a long shot. I just like raising Caines so sense.

Great fast food, yeah, really good.

And then a couple of trifecta boxes gone Practical Move number ten, verifying number two for fifteen, and then another trifecta box, tap a trice to Phills and Kings Barnes. That's five three six, Okay. I'm a crackhead, Dan crack And to win the Stanley Cup plus fourteen hundred longest odds right now. But they're already up a game on the Stars. I know, I hate the Stars. Wow Golf Wells Fargo Championship. I'm going Patrick can't lay to win

Yeah, he just got Tigers Caddy. They had a crazy last name. Can't lay can't lay.

Have you seen his face? He looks like a butt head from Beavis and butt heead a little bit, he sort of has.

That'd be a hard power puss. Did you Larry's exactly was three five six? Yep is yours five to three six?

Deal doesn't matter?

Box. Yeah, So then Larry and I have the same Wow Larry looking up.

I also I sent these in this morning. I knew Dylan, here we go.

Yeah, Larry, I couldn't even read what you wrote, so it's not English. And then I have one more thing, Dan also throwing a little in the Mets game. Two units on the under seven and a half today today?

All right, yeah verlanders Lander's pitching bat Larry's cut.

Also, Dan, I would like to point out I did have Tony Final last week to win the Mexico Open.

Oh okay, But you also had Gary Woodlanden to win.

Yes, I did, and I actually end up betting a lot on Gary woodland like top five and ten and uh din he finished about twenty ninth.

Did you have Sergio Perez to win the Ezer by John?

I did? That was that was another hot h from the old ball and chain.

Yeah, what she watches racing. Yeah, I fucked up so bad. Yeah, why the roommate she watches nothing, no sports, zero?

What's wrong with that?

It'd be great if she did, and then she would understand my obsession with it and let me live.

Oh yeah, a little.

Three daughters, Danny. When I put on the game, any game, they scream and yell.

No, no baseball, no football.

They all yell at me.

Do you think that your roommate instructed? Absolutely, Danny, I don't do anything about.

How did you?

How did you meet? How did she fall in love with you?

I don't know. I don't know.

Do I know for sure that she did?

Fair question? Fair question. We met when we were kids, when I was like twenty and she was eighteen. And met her through a friend and she just you hoped she was eighteen.

Yeah that's she made me chase for a couple of years. It wasn't like that, all right, but yeah, yeah we met. Like what did she see? Where she went? Yeah?

I was just so goddamn persistent. I just wouldn't Yeah, I was everywhere all the time. You know, these women, they liked the Disney Princess Fantasy bullshit here, you know, like they just magically meet each other, and you keep seeing each other, and.

You do let me write this down.

What you do is you write down their license plate, and you find out their their schedule, and you follow them everywhere you go, and then all of a sudden, you're at.

Starbucks the same time they are and you order the same latte. Give me a fucking break, and then they fall in love.

It's easy as that.

That's it, Danny. You just follow them.

Is that stalking?

Yeah?

Absolutely, but allegedly yeah.

But with them, it's like, you know, watching a Disney movie, like we're just meant to be together?

What about you? Bet, Larry with you know?

And I just want to say, are you Are you going to take the roommate to O TV with you tomorrow?

Absolutely not, She has no idea about that. Doesn't listen to show. I'll be at work tomorrow all day, very late midnight. Sorry, stay till nine. Yeah.

Yeah, and it's a it's a party after, Yeah, have some drinks maybe one bat Larry? How did you fall in of.

High school?

Dan?

And then I then I took the next six years off and then uh rekindled it.

What happened in the six years, Larry?

I want a way to college, and then I went to California. Then when I came back to spring Lake, I uh, you know, reacquainted myself with a girl of a the year behind me in high school.

Sounds so romantic, deep yeah. And then I came back and we rekindled.

Okay, sounds like a happy married Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, uh, I think we've we've done enough enough damage today here we've we've learned a lot, learned a lot.

Good luck, I have one tomorrow, say Bill, and good luck with your fixs Dan. We'll talk later, buddy.

All right, bad Larry by the way, Shan Irving wherever you get your podcast, and uh, you've arelready nominated. The Alabama baseball coach is one of your d jens of.

The year early.

It is the old position. Absolutely, you're a coach betting against your team.

Oh I did. I saw a picture of him like for one of the art was betting on.

His team to Pete roashit. I'm okay with that, that's no big deal.

The picture I saw of him was like him sitting in the dugout that exact like that iconic picture of Pete Rose and the dugout sitting on the top of it, and I was like, that's my guy.

He's a degenerate right there.

I remember when Pete told me that he had never made that public, that he bet on his team to win all the time, and uh, which I doubt. But also you can manipulate the lineup, oh totally, because let's say you want John Franco to pitch and you need him to win. And then I remember being told sources close to me that there were certain pictures that on his own staff that Pete wouldn't bet to win.

Yeah, well makes.

Sense putting in bets every five days.

Yeah right, yeah, Cam, Yeah, yeah, like there's one or two guys maybe, But I remember when he said he bet on them to win every game.

I wish I could come back in a different life and be Pete Rose's bookie. Well I know, I know, peats bookie. That guy had to roll in it.

Well, he kept saying, you know that they they got great humor out of Pet's bets.

Just fade them.

They yeah, yes, absolutely, But when they you know, Pete would call in and he would place a bet or two. Then these guys would be like, but he was betting hockey, he was betting all kinds of things.

The great State of Ohio. Yeah, Alabama was shittier weather. That's it. That's it.

Northern Alabama, that's literally it.

Yeah, that state sucks.

That's where I'm from.

I know. Okay, you know sucks. You know.

It is funny though. You see those ads for like come to Ohio all the time on Team guys are pumping this pretty hard, trying to get people to come to.

Ohio, Ohio and drink yourself to death. Have you guys been in Ohio. I've been to the Mistake, I've been Cincinnasty, Yeah, I've been Akron, Toledo. Yeah, all right, all trash, all of them. Shaker Heights is the only nice part of Ohio I ever seen them alive.

It is it's uh that's old money.

That's old money. Outside of that's some generational ship. Yeah that is. Euclid's always really nice to Euclid, really nice.

Cuyahoga County. Let's get weird, Danny'll Euclid.

With an e e idea.

Uh so, Shan Irving wherever you get your podcast. Thanks for joining us here and we hope to have you back next week. M H.