Episode 58: Heaven or Hell?

I could. I'm damn, I'm giving you that one, I know, but it just feels like you're not giving it to me, like you're you're actually saying something in a negative way to make yourself look better. No, no, no, no, I would saying I've thrown some golf balls in the last couple of years, and the next day my arms hanging. I just wanted to know how your arms felt. I was concerned, Dan, why are you throwing golf balls? Um? Someone says you can't throw it a hundred yards and

I just laughed at him. I guess, okay, yeah, Larry, maybe if you hit it with an aluminum baseball. Bad No, no, okay, let me let me vouche Larry. Let me let me bounce for Larry. Larry, it was a good baseball player. Okay, Just I'm letting you guys know, if you're placing a bet on bad Larry throwing a golf ball a hundred and twenty yards, my money would be on bad Larry.

I appreciate that. Whatever are you talking. I don't want you talk to like sixteen people have been on the wrong side of that that and I'm probably back then I would have had a late three to one. It's not that hard to do. Let's add to the list of complication. Do you guys want to put this on the bet series? Okay? I think I can. What's the line under? Okay, I mean I have to go under two? And what's the number I gotta throw? Now? Said it?

I'm sixty five years old, But I didn't, Larry. You just said you threw it a hundred and twenty yards pin of high on the eight pole at some golf course. You just yeah, yeah, and not just once, Dan, But when when did you do it years ago? Well, you didn't say that I threw the football yesterday on this show. Is it so damn difficult? Now? Can you throw? Okay? Larry? Can you throw a golf ball a hundred yards right now? I doubt it? Well, then shot hurt? Why are we?

Why are we talking about this? I threw the football yesterday, throwing a football yesterday, but I didn't bring it. I could throw it over well, okay, all right, nobody cares about I threw the football yesterday. I didn't warm up and probably threw it. I can throw it fifty yards now, Oh do you want to have him? Already? Did this outside the man cave? Because John Calipari. John Calipari said you can't throw it fifty yards? I said, John, I can. Okay,

not pretty, but I did. Got there? Yeah, God, dealing was there that? You know? Tyler had to get like the longest tape measure ever out running across the I know this was that. No, No, it wasn't. It found it underhanded. It was a compliment for you. You were going to bring up what I did so you could talk about what you did forty years ago. Okay, in the Steinmel's house to go to the track. Nobody cares, nobody knows who. Okay, Okay, here we go. Let's let's

recapp I apologize to those listening. Has nothing to do with anything. It was very entertaining for me. Dylan is up to units in the playoffs, Bad Larry is minus eight and Shay is up one unit. Last chance to know now you you have your last chance and a lot of prop bets here. Uh. Dylan, by the way, got a tattoo here in Scottsdale. I don't know if there was a line on that getting another tattoo, but the over it was I think it was, uh what one or a half half a tattoo and I took

the over. Smart. Also, sweet little Mario got his first Mario got his tattoo. Okay. Recapping you had ufc ars Larry as U CF you did you win that bet? I actually lost that dwn okay? And then you have the Cornhill Finals? Did you win Cornhill Finals? No? So actually, in true fashion on the show, it's it's tomorrow, so I put the bet in last week thanks last weekend. So honestly a nice little surprise, okay, and I'm sure we'll be watching tomorrow. Bad Larry didn't have a good

uh golf weekend at Pebble Beach. Uh, Shady doesn't look like did you have a good week at all with college bounsketball. No, I got smoked, Danny. Alright. Um, actually also Maverick. Maverick McNeely had to withdraw from the uh pro M, so he almost missed the cut. All right, can we start with the Bens this weekend? All right, here we go, Dylan. I'm gonna let you go first. Okay, Um, all right, I'm going five units Dan Chiefs money line. Just straight up, everyone and their mother likes the Eagles

in the Super Bowl. Okay, research but not everybody, but okay, many people, Okay, a lot of people. Um, I'm going under fifty one. I just feel like under in the Super Bowl is a smart play. I feel like it's always a stinker. The under is gone eleven and eight in the last nineteen Super It's actually closer than I would have thought. But all right, Um, I have the four units in the coin to has to be Tales per fading Shay last week Tales ever fails, and then

two units. Patrick Mahomes Super Bowl m v P plus one quarterbacks who have won MVPs thirty one out of fifty six Super Bowls. Yeah, I mean it's really just gonna pretty much be either him or Jalen hurds. Okay, um, and I'm putting one unit on. I'm gonna butcher this. Emir smith Mark said anytime touchdown score plus three thousand. I know. He was literally just the last guy on the list of touchdown scores with the longest odds. He's a return specialist, slash receiver. They picked up off like

waivers like name. I figured, why not, it's a Super Bowl. Yeah yeah, thank you. Un what else do you have? I know you're just bullshitting, but um, Gatorade purple plus nine. We've got my purple crocs on right now. It's got to be purple. Um. Any kick to hit the upright or a crossbar plus four fifty. This would have been better. Actually if the Cowboys were playing in maher was kicking. But you can see I could see a joint happening at some point in the game. That's a shot at

Shay right there with the cowboy. Yep, you talked about an octopus in the Super Bowl, of course. Um. Yeah, so that's the player scores a TD and then scores the two point conversion subsequently. Okay, and I actually I think Pauli actually said it's called an octopus because it's eight. No, I did was that you? Yeah? Okay? Then someone told me, yeah, I did, I told you, and then it was obviously I was like, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Um. And

then obviously to dan nerd um waste management open this weekend. Okay, yeah, um. So I'm taking there to be a hole and one on six team during the at any point during the tournament plus two hundred. Okay, and that's a wrap for me. Okay, hopefully makes some magic. Alright, Let's go to Shay Shay and Irving. He has a great podcast on his own called Shay and Irving wherever you get your podcast. All right, Shay, your bets are going to be what yeah, buckle and

y'all bumble loss from the second half? Yes, plus one? Ten safety happens in the game, Yes plus ten forty Either team, wait, wait, will slow down so people can absorb this, Danny. They're gonna absorb it all day. Listen, either team kicks a walk off winning field goal plus a thousand. Okay, by the way, a safety hasn't occurred in eight Super Bowls. Okay, it happened when Kirk Warner played the Steelers. And I'll never not bet it, do

you understand? Okay, so safety to be recorded, either team to kick a game winning field goal, Yeah yeah, that's one. And then first yeah, these are all one units until we get weird. The first team to enter the opponent's red zone Eagles minus one. First touchdown rushing plus one sixty longest third down conversion over twelve and a half yards, that's minus one tenth. And then what happens first a touchdown or a sack? The answer is sack minus one

oh five. Kansas City's first play is a pass plus one ten a sign Reddick over point to five stacks. I'm stealing money here, Danny minus two units. Jalen Hurts m v P plus one thirty on the Phillies first drive of the game. Player to catch a pass Miles Stander plus Dick's fifty heads on the coin toss four units. Opening kitch kick touchback minus one sixty, and I got the over in the national anthem, Chris Stapleton come home, buddy. Wow. Wow, that's a lot. Okay, I'm gonna add more to Oh okay,

what else do you got? Well, not yet, I mean I gotta go drink some of them. We're gonna get weird. I'm gonna add something. I'm gonna take Hassan Reddick under the corner of a sack? You would you would? Half? Okay? Yeah? Wait, what is it? A half a sack? Half a sack? Then it hits the over? Okay, so I'm going under it. Okay, you have bad Larry. Yeah, I just pulled over the side of the road. Here Dan, five units the Eagles? What is that line? Minus one or minus one and

a half? One and a half? I thought we weren't allowed. I thought we weren't allowed to go over four? What's happened to? Now? What's that? It's always been five? I don't always been one head, five on head on head. Okay, you can do five, five units on heads, all right? So five years on the Eagles, five units on over the national anthem, And I want to know what numbers you're giving me country singers. It's gonna be like it's gonna be over by a mile by the way, Okay,

the over? Okay, I got one nineteen and a half. Yeah, I might. I might have to just take the under if you two idiots have the over. Because Billy Joel had the shortest. That was one everything out, Dan were angles sing the national anthem? It's gonna be over. It's over by a mile. So you've got the over in the national anthem. Why are you fighting me? My job

is just to be a moderator. Okay, I'll just tell trying to help you there, that song's gonna be over by I want to almost say fifteen seconds, but I'm not gonna say that. Okay, alright, So five units on the Western singer, that's what gives me the idea. Five units on the egos. What else do you have? Lair, five units over the national anthem, four units on the under, fifty or fifty one whatever, four units on that and I always bet heads, but I only gonna go three

units on heads. Okay, now I got Now, I got two units on the under in the first quarter. I need to know what line you're nin on that nine and a half playing that to me, under for the game is fifty one and a half and the under for the first quarter is nine and a half. Anybody anybody know anything about math, and it's still under. But so two units on under for the first quarter, two units on over. J Allen Hurts rushing yards Okay, that's

that's fifty and a half. Okay, two units on any time t D for Jalen Hurts and two units on any time t D for Travis Kelsey. What's the line of the hurt what's the line of the Hurts? Minus one fifteen? He's gone crumb. They're gonna do that scrumb for the one and get a touchdown off it. Hurt. Hold on, He's a rush for over fifty yards in a game seven times this season, in case you care,

and the any time touchdown scores minus one fifteen as well. Okay, so and you got two times on any time for Kelsey and then I went three units on yes for Gronk to kick that field goal at half time? Oh wow, what line you give me? He's been practicing until like two months and he's thirty some years old. He's got to be able to kick a yard field goal. That's plus four fifty. I want to let me. Let me knock that down. Let me knock that down to one unit down. Wasn't he gonna like parachute in or some

ship too? I don't know anything about it, um. I think Van Duel's running some kind of promotion on it and if he's been practicing, how can you not kick a yard field hole? I can't. Maybe that'll be where the donk comes from. He'll ring it off the uprights and I'll hit my bet. You guys, would that be a going if it's wrong? Okay, anything else bad, Larry that you would like to offer? They're there, they're my picks. A little research on these two. Uh shay, did you

have anything else get? You said you wanted to get a little weird? Yeah, well, Danny, what day is today? Thursday? All right, Thursday. That's no big deal for me. Uh. The super Bowl is going to happen on a Sunday, right, yes, Okay, after church, after praying, after talking to God, I'll have more bets. Well, but we we can only take those bets for this podcast today. Well that's not fair. Ain't going to church today, Danny? We can, we can, we

can put them out on social media. We should shoot you in the confessional making your picks now, just being in churn. I'm a Protestant. I'm a Protestant. Alright, alright, alright, there's a like are you going to church on Sunday? Absolutely that I didn't think you went. You sounded like that could be in doubt that you went to church. No, I definitely go to church. It's just a matter of what they let me in or not. I hold up taking the under But okay, you're going to Larry? Yeah,

absolutely not for me. Okay, is there anything else that we could all? I will shay, there is no way you're going to heaven. I'll be selling air conditioning units in hell right next to Lucifer, Danny. Nobody off me. You are not going to heaven, and you know that that's your parties in hell anyways. Dylan, do you think you're going to heaven? Okay? Uh? God, Larry, do you think you're going to heaven? There is no heaven or hell. There's no afterlife. That's enough. That's enough. I'm not a

part of this anymore. You started this Catholic which was Christmas and Easter only, but now I'm just never. I don't mean, it's not even worth going fun, have fun there up on burning? Burning? Huh Um. I will bet. I will bet a hundred to one that you're going to hell and burning. I'll do that right now. Maybe you could parlor all three of us. Oh, I know, I don't know if Bad Larry, if there is a Hell, I don't think he's going to Hell Purgatory bank. Where's

he going then? Where's he going? Probably the track with his good friend Jack Steymels, or going up to Providence, or he's going to uh, some kind of regatta I think is what he's gonna. I'm going straight, damn straight to heaven. Well, he can't. He can't do what I do for my community. It's not even it's not even regatta, pumpkin regatta in the Lake of Fire. Have fun. Dylan just said that Bad Larry can't go to uh how he already lives in the Jersey Shore. I can't. I'm

gonna get you down here. Say I don't get you both down here. During the summer. I'll be there, Larry. See this, This is where it just gets tiring. Larry. Just you drag it out. Game. I'm not sure if I'm coming on Friday night now or Saturday morning. We're debating that right now. I'm not here. You guys can get tickets soft. The game was supposed to be two o'clock on Saturday. Now it's four thirty on Saturday. We don't know what I will be there. I'll be there.

We're coming for you, Larry. I can't. I hope. I would love to see you, guys, that's honest. I would love you. There's no way, there's no way. You don't no no way they would go. But you'll get up there and that you got to go to the game. I'm absolutely probably they're bringing. They're bringing the fiftie anniversary of seventy three Team Dan. You remember that team. Oh god, everyone's coming back wild party. Okay, all right, well I

don't know what we accomplished, but we're done. And uh, by the way, Shay and Irving has his own podcast. It's uh Shannon Irving. That's the title of the podcast. Wherever you get your podcast. So we were good. Anybody else want add anything? I got just got one thing for say say. I will text you the winners when we get to the track. Yeah, I need a track. I need a track. I need a track layer. I need it bad. I'll send you guys a picture on

the on the screen. Good luck, good luck this weekend, everybody, and thanks for joining us on Dan Patrick Takes Gamble. Thanks ye