Episode 246: Don't Bet On Them

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now joined by bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick Rack.

Hey Dan, I doing my man. Hey Larry go I'm in the middle of a batch you game. I haven't given up a point an hour, but we're measuring right now. I have two balls left. He has one. We're measuring.

Here was closer.

You knew we were doing this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I said, would start at one o'clock and he said, can you get over there at twelve to twenty And I said, sure, I'll come over. But I'm gonna well, I'm good, I'm ready to do. I'm gonna throw these two balls, wrap this game up and have a little conversation with us. Okay the first time, larf you want.

Okay, uh shay you there?

Hell?

Yeah, brother, where where are you?

I am? On an unnamed Island in the West Indies.

Danny, Oh little Saint.

Bark down, brother.

Folly.

I mean I played called Mystique.

Oh okay. Doesn't Mick Jagger have a home on Mystique?

Yeah, yeah he does. He's a round.

Well wait a minute, why why are you greeting me with that piece of information like, okay whatever, I'm tired of hearing about it.

No, No, it's just mixed Mick. You know his kids are way cooler. His what his kids? His family, great family, great, great family.

Okay, that was the humblest brag ever.

Yeah, I'm sober now. So it's a different relationship I have with all these people.

They speak more highly of you in that tone.

They think I'm a cop at this point.

If you're if you're a cop there, fine, maybe some other be more.

By the way, Dylan, Dylan has lost nine straight bets.

We don't have to number.

No, he's not going to drop nine pounds.

Oh Dan, I could do that if I if I set my mind to it, I can do anything.

Well, why don't you set your mind to winning some bets?

I can't do anything. I can do a lot of stuff.

Okay, you were not at the Dream Valkyries game.

Were you say, no, no, I skipped that on accident, but.

Somebody threw a dildo on the court.

Green's not my color, Danny.

Not that I did it, but that is my favorite color.

Football is back. We got the Hall of Fame game. The Chargers are getting one and a half against the Lions. Having bet on the Hall of Fame game in the previous lifetime, I would take the under. I think it's thirty two and a half.

That's an Iowa lie right there.

Yes, it is. Twelve of the last sixteen Hall of Fame games have finished under the total.

Yeah, any other tips doan from your Hall of Fame game betting?

Yeah, I remember losing my Hall of Fame bets. Yeah, and that wasn't the lowest I sank. You know when you start betting on the Hall of Fame game, but it's close, like when it's kind of sad when you're paying your bookie when you lose the Hall of Fame game.

It's actually I'd argue it's the least sad game of the NFL preseason to bet on because it's like the first one. It sort of stands alone when it's like week two of the preseason and you're betting the whole slate. I think that's that's when you.

Got problems bad. Larry won one unit last week, so he's at seven and a half. Shay lost to Unities at five and a half. Dylan lost three, so he's at minus twenty.

Yes, Larry, No, I was saying, I bet the Hall of Fame game, and I didn't have that input from you. I took the over, just fire a couple of defensive touchdowns, So I'm going that's why I'm betting on Well.

I like the quarterbacks. I get to see Trey Lance and Hendon Hooker. I get to see dj Uyung La Lay and Kyle Allen, so that's nice. I'm good with that. I just moved to Polina dj Uyungala Lay.

You want to see that?

Yeah? Oh man, Oh, it doesn't mean he's going to be good.

Right, Okay, fair, I'm just saying I see that dude off a couple of different conferences. A good lord. He never lives up to the hype. Can it for an arm? But good man? P brain' well.

Trey Lance speaking of not living up to the hype.

Yeah, fourth round, fourth round trade, baby, let's go.

Yeah, he couldn't make it with the Cowboys. Now he's with the Chargers, former third overall pick. There's one other story I thought i'd get your guys thoughts on this. Christian Wilkins of the Raiders, at least formerly of the Raiders. He got released because he quote playfully kisses a teammate on the head and they released him from his four year contract.

Okay, all right, First off, I heard it was kickling of the feet. But if he just kissed the forehead of a young man, I mean who among us?

Yeah, tickling you can't abide.

But chickling is a bit much. I mean that's weird. But kissing subdued on the forehead, that's just a form of ownership.

Like, yeah, that's sunded boy. Okay, he did.

Actually Christian Wilkins played high school ball in Connecticut.

Well, no, that's great. You come back and kiss you on the forehead.

Fine, I don't have a problem with it. Then I'm sex positive. It's kind of a weird.

It feels like the player Association would be able to help you keep your job that if you playfully gives the teammate on the head.

Seems like maybe I think it got worse to that, for sure.

Yeah, got to be way more to it, Dan, I.

Would, I would think, because the player association would object to that, and then then they might be told, well, this is what really happened.

Doesn't really seem like a fireable effect.

Not really, No, not this day and age. Come on, we're allowed to do that again.

Of all the funky stuff that happens in locker rooms too, that's probably on the minor side.

The NFL being back, Dylan has a list of teams not to bet on. Yeah, okay, cross sports, Dan, Oh, okay, So not just the NFL.

No, And actually so I think you'll totally be on board with some of these for starters. Anything Arizona basketball future is related, yes, out of the question. Yes, absolutely, Anything Chargers football future related, Yes, out of the question.

Yes, is on the list.

Just the New York Jets and Giants unbettable. And the thing is that you can't break these rules. That's because like sometimes I'll break the rules. The system doesn't work if you break the rules. Okay, we got Brian Kelly. Can't bet on Brian Kelly, no Elis shoe bets, Rutgers basketball. Okay, out of the Equation, Texas A and M football.

I mean, come on, yeah, yeah, come on, that's good.

Rookie QBS in prime time fall for that one all the time. Uh say Flowers, no more's day Flowers props.

Okay, he had had one bad moment.

No, no taking the moment of the quick. He actually had a good game that game. He just had one bad moment, one bad moment. Just they price him too high and he never hits them.

Okay.

Uh Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson out, Oh.

No way, I'm betting on Hiawaska this year for sure.

Yeah, well you are, but you're an idiot, right, Dolphins after Week twelve? See you later? And the Chicago Bears out?

Oh yeah, hell yeah.

Yeah Bears Jets unbettable game under is the only acceptable bet.

Okay, we'll see the Bear's going to get some of my action this year for sure.

Yeah, Shade, Do you have a list? Do you have teams or players that you absolutely will not bet on?

I mean there's definitely players that I hate betting on, But to say that I would never bet on him, wo just be a live because I'm a degenerate and if I think the line makes sense I'm going to do it. But pretty much anything that has ever involved the fingerprints of the ginger, I hate betting on him. I think he is infectious and a disease, and he's like fungus. Any right, when you think you're rooted it out, it just spread.

What why why do we have a problem with Jason.

Garrett seems like a perfectly nice guy.

So you know who also was a nice guy, Jeffrey Dahmer.

No, he was not a nice guy.

He was very friendly to a lot of men.

You know, you cannot do this to Jason Garrett.

Jason Garrett did this to me, Danny, my daughter the train station.

Wait, Larry, what are you doing?

I'm just arranging some stuff. Damn. I got a busy day. I got the grandkids in town. I got to pick my daughter up at the train station. I gotta finish. I'm in a little lass and botchie.

Okay, I'll be right back.

You knew, wait, you knew we were doing this at this time?

Yeah?

I know, we do a BAA tournament, right, I know.

I damn, I know you know. I run the area down here. But I couldn't change my daughter's train schedule. I gotta run and pick her up in the spring, like, no big deal. I'll talk to you on the car.

Larry's just trying to measure with his boys.

Okay, I got, I got bachi every day. I got even on workdays. But I'm going to pick up right now.

Are you drinking during bachi ball?

Definitely during bachi, not on the workdays because a couple of my superiors, I guess I listened to the show.

Oh no, I.

Don't drink on Tuesday and Wednesday. Dan.

Okay, I was gonna say, Larry, not to knark on you, but you just said you played bachi on workdays. He said, yes, I drink during bachi, but I don't drink on birthdays.

The drinking is the problem.

Oh clip that clip that?

Yeah, wait, you.

Know you can leave it out there. I do get a lunch break.

You know.

I played on my lunch drink.

But you don't drink while you're at work when you play bochi ball.

That's correct.

Okay, all right, let me recap bad Larry. Uh, you got your Chris got her up top ten again.

I looked at him. I looked for him this morning. He's not playing.

Uh, but in the window yeah.

I couldn't believe because I was going to be him again obviously Jersey boy, but he wasn't even listed.

Well, he's probably needs a week off because he played in the Scottish and the British and then he played in the three M.

This hot streak's got to end at some point.

Yeah. Actually, I don't know nothing.

I would have run.

Nothing really happened last week with you guys. Dylan lost every bet in a row. Den Shade did not. Do you know a couple of baseball bets.

And losses shouldn't even count because that's an emotion.

I think you're right. That should be just grandfather did.

Yes, it's it's neither in the win or lost column. It does not count.

It lost, all right.

That brings us to this week bad Larry. Do you want to get your bets right?

I bet the Yankees and the under in the Yankee game eight and a half. I bet them eight and a half. Yeah, I think I better time, but that's okay. Yeah, I think that's like a six two final. I bet the over in the Hall of Fame game and I took to Troit. I don't know why, because it's really there's three baseball games, and my boy wasn't playing off. There was really nothing on the card for today, So I got two baseball and two football beats.

Wait a minute, I've got this at thirty three and a half ray because I had it at thirty two and a half with DraftKings.

It's been going crazy all all today. It's been going up and down, up and down.

Thirty four and a half.

Dang yeah. And the game line moved like it was one and a half in between. When I came out here earlier on the show Dan and went to the back, it went from one and a half to a half a point, right, So there's some money coming in on Io Hall of Fame game.

Well, I mentioned on the show that at thirty two and a half I would take the under. Do you think that had any impact on this?

There's some sharps that probably listen, of course to you, of course in this room.

No, no, because you guys aren't sharp, Shay, you got anything you want to get a moment.

You know, little old me, boring old baseball. Just grind out another season of wins. I got the Rays and the Brave and then on the Football is Back schedule, Chargers Detroit. That Hall of Fame game under thirty four, but I'll take it at whatever number we have it at. I don't think any three and a half.

It's thirty three and a half.

Sure, I'll take it. And then I got a little free bee for everybody Delaware Park today. Race two, we got the seven to win and then a five to seven exact a box. But that's seven. This is the first run made voyage. I don't want to go all American Eagle, but this horse comes from pretty damn good stock compared to the ref Okay, so you.

Might actually be the only person on the island that you're on currently that is betting on that, on any of this.

Actually, oh yeah, they bet on human races here, dude.

It's the most dangerous game.

Yeah, I'm telling you, man, it's a weird run the tournament here after this, So I'm going to go clean up over there back That.

Is some lospy shit of backgam tournament.

I'm dumb.

Why did you go to that island?

The roommates, friends and ship, dude, that's the only thing, the only time I do you know, Danny, The question is, hey, do you want to spend a ton of money on camp for my two kids and never see them, or do I want to like spend half of that and travel all summer with the kids? Like that's the options you have in Connecticut.

That's that's brilliant. Hey, that is absolutely brilliant.

It's Sleepway Camp bullshit. I reject the entire theory behind it. I reject the societal pressures behind it. I hate it.

What Dylan, why does he have problems with sleep Boy.

Well, it's it's traditionally like pretty Jewish to go to sleep Boy camp.

Oh, here we go, here we go.

Why is that?

I don't know, it's a that's a yeah. Like ever, if you're growing up any Jews that you know, they almost all went to sleep Boy Camp at some point.

This is true. But the Walks do it here too, man like crazy, they all do it.

Okay, But that would allow you to spend more time with your wife if the.

Kids, And that's that's the main issue.

You don't want to spend more quality time with your wife.

It's not that, Danny, It's just you know, how often should an alcoholic hang out in a barroom? Right? Eventually somebody's going to slip and fall on a bottle of gym and if you stay in the same room with the roommate with zero buffers or zero health from anybody, eventually I'm gonna do something stupid.

That I buy.

Yeah, but you won't do anything stupid when you're on the island of mustique.

Yeah. Well no, I mean there's family around, their friends around, there's prying eyes everywhere I go.

Okay, because does Eric Clapton have a place on mystique?

I don't know, but the Jaggers for sure. Dude and Soda is like the dude from Wilco. Who's got one here?

Oh wow, what's that d's name?

Brian something?

Wait, you're talking about the trouble with girl he does?

Yeah? Why, he's got in trouble with Nashville with some girls who were mad at him because he didn't call him back or something turned into you know, hashtag me too shit. Okay, who's the lead singer of Willcot Remember? But he's really sad.

It's like a super record.

You google it, right.

What do you think I'm trying to do right now? Oh my god, I'm Jeff Tweety. Jeff Tweety, that's it. Yeah.

Yeah, he's the lead singer.

Yeah. I think he's got spot here or someone or whatever. There's a bunch of people out here, Danny.

Okay, and the weather's good.

It's like eighty two sunny. It's really nice. Had a good breakfast this morning, so looked like a baby last night. Got back gamming coming up, maybe playing some tennis later. Danny.

Wow, you are you're kind of I mean, that's a pretty like.

You, weedy white bread, you know that. Yeah, red, white and blue.

Yeah, although if they're sacrificing people on that island, you are absolutely going first.

I will say if there is a revolt, I am going to be the leader of that. I look like the least appropriate white person here. Holy shit, what's that noise?

Dylan? You got your Hall of Fame game bench, your prompts?

Yes, Dan, I got a movement that is nice for me. Lions minus half a point against the Chargers, basically a pick'em. Okay, Dju can't bet on him. Lions two plus team passing touchdowns, so they just got to throw two touchdowns or more in the game, plus three twenty under thirty three and a half points. Chargers one twenty five or more team rushing yards plus one twenty five, so they can get that from both qbs and they're running back no problem, and then raise the twenty points not going to happen

Nobody gets to twenty yep, Okay, it's actually a fun bet. Yeah, seventeen to fourteen easy, Yeah.

Perfect, everyone wins. Everyone's happy.

Bad Larry, anything you'd like to add before you go pick up your daughter.

I'm sitting at the train station, so we're going the lines at half a point on am I given two and a half in Detroit?

It's uh, it's a half a point from what I'm saying, Ray, is that right? And a half point?

Yeah?

I fixed it for you, Larry on the sheet, Ray.

I love you, you know that? And no kiss on the forehead by the way, thank you, thank you for doing that for me.

Right, we'll just take instead.

Uh shoot, does Shay anything you'd like ten?

Yeah? Danny del Mar Racing Band thaws from the wind Pool with two minutes left to post big development the horse racing community. I think we should give a shout out to del Mar. Think but do you get exactly pools to Danny?

Have you been to del Mar?

No, never, we should do a trip. Let's do a trip to del Mar.

Del Mar is gorgeous.

Where is that.

Public It's California. Maybe everybody talk at the same time. It's great radio. I'm not no, you're not, but mad Larry and Shay are and I'm like, no, I don't. I didn't hear a word you said. Okay, no, no, we're not doing I don't care.

Go for the Breeders Cup at del Mar.

Del Mar is beautiful. It's great and great scenery, great scenery if you like scenor you.

Have to come though, Dan, No, I'm just talking about how beautiful it it is.

It is. But I've seen the beauty. I've witnessed.

You can't rewitness the beauty.

I don't need to. I saw it once.

Where would you go on a trip with us? And you can't say nowhere? You have to pick a place.

Jersey.

Yeah. No, I don't like when Larry has a home field advance you. It's not any fun. And then you know he he parades your round and then he wants to show off that everybody knows him. And let's go into Ray's and then we'll go into this bar. We'll go in through the back door this guy's house. He knows me. I parked my car there. I've been through this man.

We can do that at del Bar too.

Nobody knows you at del Mar.

They don't know you at Shay.

Are you doing your podcast there? From mustique? Mystique?

I feels a little hypocriticistical, Danny my podcast about the revolution? Doing it from here?

Will you see Mick Jagger when you're there? Uh?

No, he's not here. Okay.

Does your wife know Mick Jagger's family? Yeah, well, I.

Mean I met him a few times. We've hung out.

Okay.

Yeah, they're like my friends too.

You know, No, they're not. They're definitely not. But I partied with them.

That when you partied Yeah.

Oh yeah, a long night with that.

Klan and a few others to tell you that.

Okay, all right, Uh, Dylan, you got anything you want to add here?

Football's back then.

I know this is where you guys got to get serious. You got a month before you got to get serious about this. This is the pre.

Season, so you guys, Dylan is.

Later be doing connection. Sorry about that? Yeah, sorry about that? Oh there you are? Yeah, No, Dylan's Dylan. I don't know I've had.

Winning football seasons the last couple of years.

I know this entire stretch you have has been in Busher and I have been great with the Americans game. You've been sucking.

We still can't hear you ye once yeah, yeah, that's that. That's Shaye and Irving. Actually Shaye and must steak somewhere close to Mick Jagger's house, so for bad Larry at the Jersey Shore and Dylan the former graphics guy Ray. Also Marvin's in here as well. I'm Dan Patrick. I have a great weekend, have a great Hall of Fame game, and we'll talk to you next week. M h m hm hm