Episode 235: I Could Medal

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick Takes a Gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat. And now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving, and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick Patrick. We've done it again. We've made it to another episode of Dan Patrick Takes a Gamble. I know this is inappropriate, but it would give you an idea of what goes on sometimes behind the scenes.

Here.

I hear a discussion yesterday. And by the way, Hi, Bad Larry.

Hello Dan, how you doing, Buddy?

Hey, Hello guys, Hey Shyan Irvings here. We got Dylan, we got Ray di O and we got Marvin as well. So I'm in the back room, guys, backroom, guys are there kind of a not a heated discussion, but a discussion. And all of a sudden, Ray says that he thinks he could medle at the Special Olympics.

Oh wow, and qualify for them in the first place?

Yes, what?

But he said that he's got add and he could qualify for Special Olympics.

I mean, you passed the eye test for sure.

What are you laughing about, Larry?

All right?

So it just explained this of what you were saying that how would you qualify for the Special Olympics.

So Jamal Charles has a learning disability, and I believe he was in the Special Olympics. So I think I could wiggle my way in there. And then I think if I have like two months to train like.

A white man, just like, but do you want to meddle in the Special Olympics.

That wasn't part of the debate. I would feel bad about it if I did win.

It's zero upside.

But I think the javelin would be that you.

Absolutely shout no chance. There's a strength component then, but.

There's shotput is like a multifaceted You have to do several steps to throw the shot put. They can't do the st Okay.

Do you want to hear the criteria for the eligibility yes? Okay, So under the eligibility section blah blah blah. Al right, people age eight and above, we think Ray probably qualifies for that who are considered to have intellectual disability as determined by their locality. All right, Well, and then two people with closely related developmental disabilities such as those functional limitations, check both in general learning and adaptive skills such as

Correct, Okay, to go, let's get actually meet a girl there too, and then and then create a whole bit the special Olympia.

But I have a d D too. Does that mean I qualify as well?

Yeah?

But you won't. You won't medal. You think you'll medal. You're gonna You're gonna fucking come in seventh and all of these things and you're gonna look like that.

Now, now it's developed into who is the fastest person in the building. I could beat you in the javelin campbell time. I put up five hundred dollars that winner take all. Everybody's eligible for one hundred.

Yard dash done. I'm in. I'll bet Okay, yeah, now.

So everybody, I Seaton and Marvin, Fritzy, Paul, back room guys.

Ray, But I know what you're thinking. Ok sorry, wait are you going Marvin historically speaking that bet?

I'm gonna take your bet.

Really, Okay, let's think about this forty yard hundred yards hundred yard dash.

I got ray, yeah, endurance.

Anthony, the intern you brought up Dan is a strong Yeah French, he's the time.

Yeah French, you would quit so.

Yeah, but Italian will just start running the wrong way.

But Anthony is twenty two years of age. Now we have another guy, Rob in the back, big Knicks fan, and he strikes me as a cross country runner.

Yeah.

Yeah, but this is one hundred yard dash.

That's it.

Five hundred dollars, winner take all.

Okay, who's setting lines?

I don't know if we have lines yet.

We have to.

There gon be some problem you do betting lines here? Yeah, man, and I'm thinking maybe next Tuesday or Wednesday.

I got to comfort that I'm showing up.

We're trying to see if we can go to Sacred Heart University. Make it official. Paulie, Paulie's got connections.

Okay, can we talk about the Cowboys bet that PAULI did not be on?

Okay, this is actually yeah, Okay, hold on, let me we're not a fish. He started, but let me get officially started so bad. Larry is eleven and a half units. Didn't win anything last week Shay. Shay won ten and a half units last week, and now you're only at minus nine. Love it, Dylan minus five? You lost three units last week? Yeah, okay, all right, bad Larry. Anything you'd like to say, any proclamation you can take a picture of.

I want first first of all, so I'm up nine and those guys are both down like nine, so I won't care about it. But how did how did Shaye win like eleven units? This week?

The ponies, Larry and we were all in the group chat together. I fucking gave you my pick.

But you didn't hit the trifactic on the show.

I hit the exactest several times, and I showed you my fucking bets. Am I crazy? He did?

I'm not saying you didn't win it.

At the track, he had eight, ten and eighteen and he one got scratched twelve units and you had the exact eight ten, eight ten wins.

Yeah, eight ten hammered the eight, ten and eighteen trifecta. I had the ten scratch of the eight and eighteen. Hit again those several times over. You're welcome. I mean the Laura listeners, by the way, have given me a lot of love on the Twitter.

Danny, Good, it's about time because they normally don't.

They normally don't.

You guys did well with the Derby two years in a row, to be fair all of us.

Yeah, I'll be honest. I ended up dumping in a bunch more bets later on that did not hit.

So yeah, okay, nobody cares, fuck you.

So what were you going to bring up?

So, Danny on the phone call yesterday, you know, I talked about the pickings trade, which I think is a gamble, but I think it's a healthy gamble. YadA, YadA. And then I was told to call back in because Paulie wanted to make a bet. Yeah, so the Cowboys to make the playoffs right now all over the internet. It's plus one seventy ish. And he tried to get me on even money, which was exploitative, really, you know, super

Play this one on the show for them tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, clip this okay, all right, Marvin, Marvin will do that.

All right.

So the George Pickens trade Cowboys are still seven and a half wins.

I'll take the over all day on that, all day, on that a B. I will take him to make the playoffs plus one seventy all day. Okay, lock it down for that, all right. But listen, we've been yelling at Jerry to make a move for two years straight. They made a move. Yeah, it's a gamble, but they made a move, Danny.

Is it a real move though?

Of course it's a one year rentaled with a third. But if he leaves in free agency, we get a compens.

And look who's qualifying now, and you know what I gotta you might you might pass the eye tested.

Oh please, I'm gorgeous. But yeah, I think it's a good trade. I think it's a good bet. I love the bet.

Uh. Anything else that we need to bring up here, I'm going to Europe.

Okay, permanently, No, but I'm going to Europe in June, going to Italy. I can, you know, maybe get some pasta. You and the roommate, the roommate and another couple.

Yeah, a couple of strip Ye a little you're learning.

Stop it stop?

Why go to Italy when you could just go to Delaware instead?

Just go to Chilicothe, Ohio and get an hourly rotel. A buddy of mine's turned fifty and so we're going to go scout some locations. What what did you call the city Chilicothe, Ohio? Chili con No, it ain't. It's chilling you. It's chilling chilli coffee. Oh fancy, it's chill.

No. You and Ray have a longing. Come State of Ohio. You had a great punchline to your joke, and you you fucked it up because you can't you can't pronounce it. Yeah, I'm getting little territorial with Ohio.

Here with you, we can enter the whole.

Did anybody see the video on the Internet of the woman who got pulled over?

Uh?

Yeah, she had a raccoon playing with her meth pipe.

Oh I did see that.

The Great State of Ohio. So this woman gets pulled over and they were like, hey, lady, you don't have a license. You're a bum. She was like, okay, take me to jail. And then the cop looked in the car and there was a raccoon like a pet raccoon, and he was holding her meth pipe. Okay, he was like, lady, you're underrest for possession of myth as well because their stay Wait a minute, that's their stage.

The raccoon has the pipe. It's not hers.

That is Ohio logic space.

I think it's the raccoon pipe. Yes, that's why he's in the driver's seas.

The son of Ohio.

Yeah, yeah, we see that every day. Might have been somebody I know.

Did you also see the lady who got in the road rage incident in Delco and took a dump on the person to their.

Cars up for degenity?

That is the videos. It's like you'd think that they were like, she's tracked her down and found her. No, she got in the car ran back. Must have had to take a tumpar head or on demand. Yeah, well that's yeah, I mean, can you do that?

So the reporter that asked her when she was getting walked out, Purp walked. He asked her, what did you eat? I want a polster?

I want a polster in his fucking mailbox today. Wow zero ray put On? Who will be the next mask on to make the Hall of Fame rowdy? Why did this come up?

Ray?

I saw it on Twitter that it's like being voted on right now. So I have the mascot Hall of Fame up right now. Obviously the Philly Fanatic is already in, mister mad so the odds for the next one.

What about the San Diego padre, the friar? No no, the wasn't that the padre? No no, no, the duck or something, or it's a monk, isn't it. No No, it's a famous famous the San Diego chicken. You don't the San Diego chicken.

I'm looking right now.

See he was one of the first mascots ever bad Layer. Do you remember the San Diego Chicken?

I certainly definitely remember it.

Damn thank you.

Yel No.

I was just say I wouldn't have picked him to be in. I forgot the Philly Fanatic is in. I can't name one other mascot.

Mister Matt and missus Matt, the Oregon Duck.

Missus metis hot.

Yes, the San Diego Chicken. It's got to be in the Hall.

Of from he is he is, That's.

He's like the first mascot. Yeah, dang. How about the leprech It Notre Dame, I'm surprised. How about Sparty at Michigan State. How about Big Owl at Alabama?

Gross?

How about Sebastian at the University of Miami.

Really that's the thing.

Yeah, Sebastian the ibis Yeah, he's got He's two plus two hundred with Missus Bett and the Oregon Duck, Missus Matt.

No way, yeah, okay, recapping here, bad Larry. You got the exact right, right, okay, but you didn't do well with the other stuff. Shay shake out twelve units, Dylan, anything to recap herem Nope.

I had that hit the exact the box and then lost all my other bets. Some Jim did not win the Buyer Nelson Scotti Scheffler won by like four hundred strokes.

Yeah, uh saw.

Phil Mickelson tweeted out, like prior to that tournament, he was like, I don't think Scottie Scheffler wins a tournament this year and he just came out and won by like, yeah, ten.

I don't think Phil Micholson wins the tournament.

I don't think so there. I like Scotty's odds a little bit better.

I see Jordan's speed. He's like a little press conference about Scotty.

That he used to be where Scotty was.

Yep. Now he's not depressing. No, they all know.

They all know, and they've been like boys for like they've played golf like their whole lives together, entire life.

Yeah, that Shi was sad. That was sad.

Scotty's you know, a couple more majors and then all of a sudden you're gonna get some people's attention for the bigger picture there in golf.

Yep.

All right, that brings us to bets this week, Bad Larry, you have the Celtics winning the series.

Wow right, I just I'm betting I better. I called it last night after the loss, but I don't know what the line is yet. But they're they're still going to beat the.

Next Okay, So you've got two units on Celtics winning the series minus one twenty.

They're still a favorite.

Yeah, yeah, their favorite by five and a half on Saturday Night.

But okay, so I got the series and minus one twenty, that's fine. I want to Ray. How old is Ray? Like twenty eight, twenty twenty seven, twenty seven? That's kind of close, like twenty eight twenty six, he's twenty seven? All right? I want an exact, the twenty two year old intern over Ray and then the rest of those guys. You might not finish one hundred.

Okay, so you're taking Anthony who you've never met, Pyson, but he's.

Twenty two years old, right, Yes, I heard you guys say, yes, I'm taking the twenty two year old over Ray straight. Twenty two year old is not in the race. I got Ray over everyone else.

Wait, who's the other leg of the exact? Dude?

Ray?

Oh?

I got it, I'm not boxing it.

Okay, Okay, damn Larry, Okay.

Okay, what else do you Celtics? Two units on the Celtics and then one unit on three baseball games today against leader of so the Red Sox against the Texans. I got the Red Sox, I got the Royals against of pitiful White Sox, and I got Yama Matu on the Dodgers against just one year to those three baseball games.

It's yamau.

Just say it fast enough and nobody will notice. All right, Dylan, what do you have?

All right?

Dan?

I'm gonna take the Nuggets to win the series against the Thunder last night's game, be damned. Plus three fifty Warriors plus the ten and a half against the Timberwolves tonight, it's an interesting one. And then NHL. I got the Caps money line tonight against the Hurricans plus one forty five, okay, and then Dan, obviously everyone knows after the Byron Nelson it's the truest championship in Philadelphia. Son j m playing He is playing Dan, and he's forty five to one

Does he play every week?

He yeah, he's pretty much. He's he's almost in every tournament. Guy, he's still just clawn.

Okay, I respect un all right, Shay, all right, Danny, it's parlay heavy this week. Everybody pay attention. NBA I got the tinker Wolves money line and the Celtics money line.

That is a Larry Parlafe I ever, don't care.

It's gonna hit Baseball, America's pastime. Got the Red Sox against my Rangers, and I got the Rolls against the White Sox, and I got the t Grays against the Rockies. That plays plus two fifty five, and then golfy golf. I love this. I don't know why I didn't put more money on it. I might actually after this. Xander and Ludwig both top twenty plus one fifty. Am I crazy? Free money?

Yeah? Well, odds are usually when it sounds like free money. I know, I know, I know, no free lunches.

And then top twenty hook him Berger, Larry uh one thirty five plus one ten lay in one ten.

Dylan, you have some futures, have you? You've already bet these right, the White Sox over under fifty three and a half. Yeah, you got over.

Yep As over seventy one and a half. Mets to win the World Series, which I thought at this point the season would be fucking dead in the water already. But yeah, those Mets aren't bad. And then Connor Hellibuck to win the Heart Trophy in the NHL plus one fifty. He'll win the Vezida, He'll win the he was he was favored for the Heart as well, but he also got he was getting rock. He was getting replaced, Yeah, in three of those losses. And then Shay, you got some futures as well.

They'll look great, Danny.

And they're all three units. Diamondbacks under eighty six and a half, Cleveland over eighty two and a half, Giants under seventy nine and a half, Cubs under eighty six and a half.

Giants ones looking tough.

Pirates, Pirates over seventy five a day, Red's over seventy nine and a half. Well, it looks up to A's over seventy one and a half.

I feel the best about that one.

Kind of yeah, we were both on the one that Red fuck you. That Red's bet was like the most popular.

Season really, Yeah, because Terry Francona, you can make some managin in that state of Ohio.

Everybody loves it so much, they do, They love him, They love Ohio.

Why, yeah, they could have Florida.

I live in Hell in Ohio about that Live in the Gates of Hell with Dante Hell and Lucifer selling air conditioning.

Un I would think the raccoon with the math pipe would be like a huge draw.

For Can you imagine if you adopted a pet raccoon like, got him off the street. You don't get a pet raccoon at a store. You get him off the street, and he's got opposable thumbs, and you love him and you care for him and you like him. And then one day you get pulled over and that raccoon pulls out your only meth pipe from in between the seat cushions, and it's like, hey, officer, look at this, like strangle

Yes, Marvin, are you putting up any bedding lines for family feud? Oh? Well that's next week.

I know next week. Well we won't.

Are we going came the podcast on Wednesday?

Okay?

I wonder if we could. I know they have games because we.

Fly out Thursday and then we tape it on Friday.

Real excited. Yeah, you have to dominate.

I don't think we can.

Come on, dude, I actually do think you guys.

Can you think they're.

What there they went to, you know, like nice universities.

That's got nothing to do with game shows.

Yeah, I just think we're you know, Fritzy is gonna probably melt down.

I think Fritzie's got to be your sleeper, I really do.

Yeah, you feels like he Tom dos probably consumed more games show.

He's gonna try to outthink what you know, keep it simple. He's not going to do it hell out, he'll out think.

I was going to set up a practice run for you guys on the show on Thursday.

I think, okay, all right, bat Larry, we're on Celebrity Family Feud.

The show is very nice.

Yeah, So who's your contestant?

Myself and the other dan Nets. So there's there's five of us.

Okay, who are you going against?

The Rich Eisen Show? Rich Eisen Show?

Can I bet on you guys? Right now?

I know we don't have betting lines yet.

I don't.

We got to come up with the one hundred yard dash and we have to come up with betting lines for for this.

All right, well, good luck with that. You guys got to smoke down.

I don't know, boy, I don't know. I get a little nervous, you know, Yes, Marmon, do you have your wardrobe all figured out?

Now?

I do know.

Now, they don't dress you when you get there, No, you choose your own outfit. Yeah, they wear whatever you want. They tell you what not to wear.

Yeah, they do.

It's basically, don't wear like just a plain white shirt, but anything else is pretty much game. But can I wear a sweatshirt?

You should go a band for band with Steve Hart. Just wear exactly what we like. The bum Fights guy who went on Doctor Phil dressed exactly like doctor He's like, you're exploiting people. He's like, that's exactly what you do.

It true that I was genius.

Uh, well for bad Larry Dylan, the graphics guy, Ray do O and Marvin and also Shay and Irving is podcast. I believe your wife wants to now move to Berlin?

Is that right? She does? She just got back from Berlin. I think we Uh, it's in the cards, it is. I would move to Berlin people. Yeah, no, cheaper. It's cheaper than Connecticut, like white.

Chip you're up. In general, it is cheaper.

Berlin. Specifically, you can get like a five droom apartment in a good district for like four grand. Okay, yeah, I got rip my house out and laugh about it. Okay, my kids would hate me, But I mean, what's different now?

Yeah, your podcast Shane Irving wherever you get your podcasts available.

Yeah, we're taking a break this week because of studio upgrades.

Oh so your living room or your dining room. Your dining room is being upgrade.

Danny, my office that I did not invite you into because it was too intimate and there's only one seat for a person. I got new mics, new swing arms, all that other.

Yeah, we were doing a very romantic duet last week after the same microphone.

I got a splitter, I got all the other bullshit. John set it up. So it's a big time now, Danny's that's okay, good stuff.

All right, Well, I have a great betting weekend for bad Larry, Dylan, Ray, Marvin and Shane Irving.

This is yours truly. We'll talk to you next week.

Troo.