Episode 154: Bad Larry Works!

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

Hear a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now joined by bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

I don't know how we topped last week's episode. People grew, Yeah, Hello, what are you doing?

I was just helping a buddy of mine out.

With what you got? What do I got? We're doing it. We're doing the podcast here.

Yeah, I hear you.

Okay, but what are you working?

I am, but you guys don't have security clearance. I can't tell you what I'm doing.

Wow, sounds about right.

Here's the only park Ranger.

I can't. I'm gonna say I'm doing absolutely nothing.

Oh Usa, I d's cutting checks. I didn't know that. I as long as I've known you, well, when I first met you, you had a job, maybe not a jobby job, but I think you were doing mortgages.

At the mortgage banker. Dan, Yes, Okay, I retired. I retired from PC after twenty five years. Although I never did one mortgage for panc.

Guys agen they bought us.

You know I was doing mortgage is down here in Seacret and you know where I live and the statement, so it was it was it was Commonwealth United got bought by matt City. So it was like, hey, Commonwealth United for six or seven years, a national city out of out of Ohio. Dan. By the way, they.

Don't need to run down the resume. I just I just ask you what you were doing that?

So I have a part time job Tuesday and Wednesday. God, some of the guys listened to we do absolutely nothing.

I can't believe you're talking about that. Yeah, you shouldn't be doing that out of the pot. No, no, let stay in now, because last week we weren't allowed to talk about it. Yeah, I cut them off. Lara's protecting your goddamn secrets.

Yeah, why I didn't notice that. I appreciate it. I don't really care.

I didn't think so I've got the sweetest gig known to man. Yeah, only Larry.

I think the I think the mortgage banker business might have been better.

Great because I actually have to you have to show up.

Yep, yeah, we shouldn't. We shouldn't talk about it, right, I'm meaning Angel Boy and I'm meeting the boys are wanted raised because of the twelve twenty podcast.

Right, schedule, you're through, You're through.

A wrench in my day's plans already.

Okay, Well, you know, I hope you can bear with us for a little while longer your busy day. The guys you're trying to figure out how to go to the Big East tournament to hang with you.

Yeah, okay, I've already scheduled Wednesday off, but I think I would rag you guys we can go to Atlantic City and wash the tournament down there. You'd rather do that, I'm thinking more. I already told I'm taking Wednesday off, but our games problence at four o'clock Wednesday. I want to be in there Thursday and Friday. I'll do whatever you guys want. You guys pick it, and I'll be there.

It sounds like a degenerate fire has rewoken in Larry for You've been to Atlantic City now like three times in the last two weeks.

Well, I used to go once a week. I've turned it back.

I want to go to New York. I want to do MSG. I want to do New York. Okay, Okay. We had a bad experience a few years ago, didn't you. Yeah, that was that was That was the big East tournament. Yeah, that was the biggest tournament. Yeah.

And there's a different man.

And you disappeared. I did that was bad. Okay, But Buddy might passed out in the game during the game in his chair passed out. Okay, but you can't put me in a position where your wife might get upset that. I'm quote unquote allowing you guys to go down there to do this and then we do the podcast on Thursday. I'll be good in New York if I was good in AC I mean, they literally give you heroin at the toll. They do, they do, they give you they do.

I don't think so.

I hear that shit too, Danny. You lower Larry's mike? What is that?

I have no idea?

Okay, pacemaker? Uh wait, do you hear that?

It could be a pacemaker?

No, Larry didn't have a pacemaker. He doesn't have a heart. Is this what they said about their beepers right before they blew up in their hips.

On the product testing line?

That got dark real quick. By the way, Dylan, you still owe a pie of the face to the podcast the Taylor Swift TV appearances from the Super Bowl David in Ohio.

Uh yeah, apparently. Okay, get around to that.

These days, I don't know if there's anything draft wise that anybody wants to bet on right now? What is that noise, Marvin?

That is our friend bat Larry in New Jersey?

Oh my god?

All right, it's like New Jersey's and national anthem. It's just like a construction truck backing up.

By the way, Colorado has quietly become the Ping pong betting capital of the world. Yeah, it was announced that over thirty million dollars was bet on ping pong in Colorado in January. That's more than the UFC thirty million dollars on ping pong.

Well I know why it's because, and I know this just for my own research, but literally, at all hours of the day, no matter what, there is ping pong to bed on. So if you get in like the live section there might you know, like there's bad international basketball and like cricket and stuff like that, there's always table tennis.

What oh yeah, yeah, but normally like the ping pong fans are Chinese?

Yeah?

Or is there like a large population of Chinese in Colorado?

Don't think. I think it's just a lot of degenerates in Colorado.

Who I wouldn't call the Chinese degenerates. I didn't say that. I think you're talking about just the regular piece, not.

Just Chinese Chinese anyone degenerous?

Yeah, bad, Larry. Are you a ping pong player? Of course he is.

I'm sorry.

Are you a ping pong player?

I used to be?

Of course you do? Okay, paddles you had your own, like monogram paddles.

These are European paddles.

Oh no, you're using European paddles, different, different, different, Let me recap here bad, Larry, uh ain't nothing to Actually, there's not much to recap because this is the the dry part of the betting season here. Really, I think this is just an excuse to get together and just you know, spill some tea.

Hanging out shoot the ship. I think that's some money on golf.

Yeah, yes, Ray, So I kind of have.

A proposition here.

Since golf starts on Thursdays and they t off early, would you guys be open to doing the podcast maybe on Wednesday so we get our picks out before the tournaments start.

I'm open to it.

That would also be good for March madness.

Yeah that's true. Yeah guys, Yeah, you're okay with that, Larry. You're working on Wednesdays.

I'll take the day off.

Okay, how would we know if.

How would?

Okay, Larry, I'll let you start with bets this week.

Okay. I'm betting against the White Sox in the preseason football. I'man baseball. I've been doing it all year.

It's spring spring training.

Whatever.

I want the Brewers and the under in the spring training game today. Then I went, I want I don't know any lines I did these this morning. I want Clemson Xavier, Wisconsin, Tennessee. And I do need to know the line in the Hall of Game.

I want the old two and a half.

I got it.

Oh, the over under over Okay. First of all, Clemson is fifteen and a half, Xavier three and a half, Wisconsin six and a half, Tennessee two and a half. Alabama Florida over won seventy eight and a half.

Wow, I on seventy eight Steve eighty eight eighty. Yeah, I'm gonna stay with the over. I mean, it's a lot of points for a college game, but I'm gonna stay with it.

Okay. And yeah, are you going with the other beds Clemson, Xavier, Wisconsin, Tennessee.

Yeah, I'm going with all of them. I didn't I didn't have lines. I just picked who's gonna win the games?

Okay, I know I just gave you the lines. I didn't know if you were accepting the lines.

Yeah.

The only one I was really concerned about was Alabama. I didn't expect it to be that high, but that's gonna be up and down. I'm gonna stay with I'm staying with all of them. Dan unit on every one of them.

Who's the guy with Alabama? Sears. Yeah, that dude can play. Yeah, he'll get thirty. Uh shay, you're up next. Yeah. Georgia Southern laying five and a half against Southern Miss Southern Myths is awful at basketball. Uh. And then I got my two favorites, Auburg and Makawa. We're not We're not doing that. That's not how you've pronounced Ludvig. I get him both wrong. It's why do you say Auburg, It's Oberberg Oberg. That's that's a top ten. Okay, top ten for both of us. Yeah, yeah, Then I got some

That scares me.

I love the everyone that I've heard from you like thet the Reds value for the wind total this well.

Because it starts Terry Francona. Yeah, Frankcona dude, new manager in town. Good Man for MVP. Good Man. Oh. I love Dela Cruz. He's wonderful.

He's gonna be a great Dodger.

Yeah. Yeah for one billion.

Yes. About the Yankees changing their facial hair, I could play for the fucking lame. They spent thirty minutes they did a press conference on allowing facial hair.

It's like them trying to be like relatable. Now they're like, all right, guys, you can have.

You can have a goatee.

They're going to like measure it though and make sure it's all.

I never should changed. Its weak. That's sad.

Good for Garrett Cole he looked weird without beer.

Yeah, no, he should grow something. That guy looks weird. Yeah, Garrett Cole looks weird.

Without from like Astro's Garrett Cole to like school shooter suspect.

Yeah yeah, well first.

Of all, also is that he's like pale enough where he just looks beat red, like probably after shaving every day.

He didn't look great.

I didn't really, Yeah, I didn't notice Garrett Cole. Let me see you you can't not and he has no lip look at him, no lips. If you're raided the school, you'd be like, was it this good? I found him?

I got it.

He's right here in the Yankees. Why does it always have to go south quickly? With you? South? Which way is the funny factory? Because that's where the hell we just went east west south? It's south. That's fine. Think you could do stand up? Oh, I mean no, I think I could probably figure it out, but I would just like make fun of people. I don't know if it would be funny, It just be like mean. Because Dylan has done stand up. Yeah, I think you got to have a certain kind of brain for stand up,

All the jokes here there.

I mean most stand ups I think write all their own ship if like they're h if it's like a show, don't.

I think there's like a consortium that'll be like, hey, you know pumping out.

Let's what you mean, like the big time ones?

Right, I mean I would do that.

Remember that Sailor movie with Seth Rogan when Sailor was dying. Yeah, yeah, he was a joke writer for him.

Right, that's even like Eddie Murphy. I think like Keenan Ivory, Wayne's from Living Color, he helped write Raw No Ship.

Yeah mm hmm.

That's the hell of a job.

Right.

Hey, here's a little thing we're gonna do is called raw that I tried to get. Well, no, I didn't try to. Sandler and David Spade said they would have written jokes for Fritzi, but Fritzi would rather fail on his own than succeed. Was Yes, I respect no way crazy.

Delivering their jokes would have been that much better. I feel like it's it would have been actually probably more of a mess.

Because Todd doesn't know how to tell a joke. That timing is not great. No, no, no, no, no. He Todd is somebody you can laugh with, but I don't know if he's somebody who makes you laugh.

Todd's of volume guys, so he'll throw twenty at you and then like one my head.

But but the fact that Sandler said he would write material for Todd to do stand up and Todd didn't want to do it, that's crazy. If it succeeded, and it's because of Sandler. And I said, Todd, you already did stand up on your own.

How much time did Todd have to write? Like I said, was it? Did he know? Like how far in advance did he know he was probably going to do it?

His life? Well?

No, I mean like that like when you got him before, No, I know, like when you got him on stage, when was like him knowing that he was.

Oh, he had had months to get It's.

Not like it was before.

It wasn't an afternoon and he was, you know, doing carolines in New York City that night he had time.

Yeah, uh, you.

Know what happened. He did stand up in Minneapolis at the super Bowl, and that was a home field advantage for him because it was just our audience there and they laughed at everything, and he was killing. He wasn't really killing, but in his mind he was because they were laughing at everything. And then he got a false sense of security and then got his ass handed to him a couple of times. And that's whenever you go blue. Whenever, like Todd, if he drops, you know, a fuck, then

Larry?

Do you think you could do stand up comedy?

No?

No, I don't think, no chance.

But Larry couldn't do hell no, no, no, no chance, No timing ain't there. Larry is not exactly funny. He's like a mythical creature.

Yeah, centaur, He's like somebody.

Write like a story about you tell your grandkids. I was at a bar once with a guy named Bad and he drank thirty two buds and then he won the dice game in the corner, and he fucking got us in the club for free.

That's Larry, Yeah, funny, Nah a facilitator.

Crazy. Yeah, Larry's amusing, He's nuts, He's amusing. We cut in front of so many lines, Danny. I tried to tell you bad Larry before you met Bad Larry. I didn't believe any idiot. I didn't believe idiom.

If you're driving around with him, there is a little anecdote or story about every single building you drive by.

Absolutely tel we stayed in. He's like I had my like fucking junior prom here.

I lost my virginity behind that garbage canyon.

Last week.

Who was he who never called me back? Uh? Dylan, you want to go?

Yes, that Arnold Palmer Invitational. I'm gonna take Scottie Shaffler to win plus three hundred. For two years now, I've been intentionally not betting on him because I just think the value sucks.

But you'd be up pretty good.

I think you need a win.

I win, Yeah, I just want one thing, win green. Yeah.

And then I got a parlay song JM and Shane Lowry top ten plus fourteen hundred.

Damn fourteen hundred. Yeah.

Uh and round one two ball parlay. I got some jm over Aaron Raie the Galla over Pendrith A Batilla over Matthew Pavon, and Nick Taylor over Sam Stevens plus one thousand.

Guaranteed.

That is sad.

Yeah, those are fun bets, though, the two and three ball bets.

I mean, it's not spring training bets, but it's not that far, I think, Paul yet anything else?

Yep, college basketball and take Saint Mary's to win the West Coast Conference Tournament at plus one forty, slightly behind Gonzaga, and then Women's Tekistan of course obviously the Indian Wells the Fifth Grand Slam Jessica Pagula to win plus twenty five hundred. I saw a story they were playing in like Texas last week, and it like wrapped up late and in order to make it over there for this, it was going to be like a scrambling layover. So she's the Bills.

Owner's daughter, yeh.

So she took her private jet and flew like all the other competitors to California for this tournament.

So I think it's gonna be a little karma w They might just let her win.

Yeah, the fifth Major because they got a free rhyme.

Indian Wells tournament. Ye jesus a nice free ride.

That's uh, that's it. We've done it. We've done another episode bad Larry at work. Thank you for taking time out from your busy day, Larry.

You guys, I will text. I will text the group and let them know what's going on.

Oh secrets, all right, go la like that.

I'm gonna guess it's nothing.

I bet it's something weird. Uh, this is for the Big East Tournament though, I think that he's talking about.

Yeah, we'll text about the Big East Tournament for sure. I got a couple, I got a couple of guys coming in for sure on Wednesday. I'm on the fence about staying over for Thursday night. But well, you know, play it by here.

Okay, thank you, thank you.

I will text you guys and let you know what went on right now, bye.

Bye, okay, h.

Ship.

There was some beeping going on.

What that means, Job probably was backing up the.

Dumb as far as that as he said, he couldn't hear it, but clearly he was the one.

Yeah, it was coming out.

Because you were asking me like what's that?

As soon as I turned Larry down, Okay, there's no more beeping.

That is very hardy to like be like.

I don't know.

It must be you.

Guys smoke detect here right above.

Yeah, I thought I ripped that thing out of the ceiling.

Yeah, South Famous sun Belt, watch it, watch it? Okay, okay, South Bam. Tell the Shane Irving podcast wherever you get your podcast available? Uh, any guests that are coming up. We reached out to Steve Bannon. He has not responded yet. We were going to break down the how about James Carvill. I love James Carble. You know James Carble is married to a Republican strategist. Yeah, that's the story Mary wants to talk about. Yeah, yeah, it was.

A different, different tid thing.

That's a good thing. You know, have good conversations, probably at home. What's her last name, Mary, I don't remember, Mattland, Mary Mattlin Matlin, Yeah, yeah, yeah, big nea con though not Marley Matlin. No more room for her in the tent anyway. So yeah, we were on a hiatus, but we're back. Oh you are, Yeah, okay, this week we're back. We're probably gonna get pretty deep into policy.

Of course you should reach out to James carr fill and to see if we'll come on.

Yeah. Jd Vance hasn't responded either, So.

Yeah, he's really busy.

Keeps saying negative things about Ohio. You know he might retweet me and ship all over me. Yeah, So, Dylan, anything you'd like to mention promote.

No, we still were working on a plan to cash our vegas ticket sometime in the coming months because.

I gotta go.

We have to go. It sounds like it's really a business trip that.

Could be hangover Part four. How mean?

Yeah? What what did they get?

They did three shoot guns out there?

Yeah, automatic weapons in the desert.

I went skeet shooting on vacation. I went skat shooting in Texas. Yeah. I was in the Dominican Republican you're shooting, yeah, trap it was. They just had something that went straight up. It didn't go, didn't go. Yeah, but yeah, it was just target shooting, like moving target wasn't skeet, but it had shotgun cool over under bretta what. I don't know what it was. I don't know. My son was great, I was he go shooting. That's first time he's gone shooting.

The d R is not a place where I would think of like go.

No, the area there has everything, you know. So if you want to go ride horses and you want to go shooting, play golf, I go shooting like every Sunday. Oh I don't want to go, No, I'll go with you. I'm not. I appreciate the guns, yeah, but I don't need to trap shootings fun trap shoot I mean I could do it. I just don't know.

It's a sport. I get it.

You just want to hunt the most dangerous game I do.

You could go hunt pheasant. You want to hunt pheasant? Now, I don't want to go hunting. Why not? I got a dog, I got an English lab training on the guns. I don't need to go hunting. His name is Jack, like that good name, sing yeah, action, great nose. Yeah, And so it's your dog. Thank you. I think that's it. I think we've done everything that we could possibly do. Somehow scratched out twenty minutes of content here.

Thanks to Larry.

Yeah, thanks to Larry. Larry, all right, thanks for joining us, and we'll talk to you next week. And Dan Patrick takes a gambo