Episode 147: No Future

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the kitchen Table.

A podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now joined by Bad Larry, Shay and Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

Oh Man the New Year.

It knew me to new you Bad Larry joining us from the Jersey Shore.

Dylan, I'm I'm on Amtrak heading down to DC for the transition team.

You're transitioning, proud of you, aary way to go and as a team, I want.

To show Shay how we do a peaceful transition of power.

Wait are you going to d C?

I'm on just came through Philly now on amtrak, the five of us, you know, me, MB and Casey and then.

You could you.

Could hear We're we're approaching Wilmington, Delaware now.

And Barbara, you're going in there to watch Trump being sworn in?

Hang on one second, what did you say? Dan? Are you hearing now?

So you're going to watch Trump be sworn in.

No, no, no, we're just going. We had already planned this trip. We're down there for five days. We didn't know, uh, Jimmy Carter was going to die when they're getting rid of him, like ten o'clock this morning, so.

They're not getting rid of him, So you didn't know he's gonna die. He was a hundred hazard A guess they're.

They're sending him down a plane Georgia right ten o'clock this morning, so he'll be gone before we get there.

He's going to be Hi.

Yeah, good man, good man.

I'm in the I'm in the bar car, just uh ready to give my picks. All right, evidently there's some problem with.

My Okay, hold on, hold on, I know, yeah, I know.

Don't use vocab words, Larry, I know.

So this is I walk in and Ray is the producer, and Ray goes. Larry's upset about how many units he wont I go every every week?

Every week.

There's a problem with the math on this show, and it's because of you. Okay, okay, hold on, Ray, I'll let you have the first word with Larry.

All right, Larry, I'm looking from looking from last week, and I have you winning six units, which brought you from eleven to seventeen, and then you're saying that you don't have Arizona State Texas over Ohio State minus two. I haven't marked as green from the sheet last week. And when you do with the calculations, which me and Dylan did, you get to seventeen for six units, so we already counted those and you said we didn't.

I don't believe you did.

Oh wow, Well, Larry.

Those games were on New Year's Day. We did the show the following day, so like I had Oregon count against.

Me, but Ray had sent out a text to the three of us, send your picks in I've been doing nothing on the training. I went back through the text. I sent those picks in eleven eighteen Wednesday morning, and then I went on New Year's the graphics. Yes, and we did the show and I did the picks. I said, I had the two wins last night that you haven't given me yet. Yeah, we can't, right, you know what, I'm sure I'm winning, So I don't care.

Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, okay, I got the paperwork right here. It says bad Larry is plus twenty five and won eight units last week?

Is that right, Ray, So we gave him that to make sure he didn't complain, and then we were going to talk about it to break him back down to twenty one.

We said, theyll yeah, because of those games we counted the previous week.

I believe counted the games ten minutes before the show.

No, the games happened the day before. We did the.

Show the day before, exactly right, Yes, when we sent the picks.

Yeah, that's why you got credit.

We did.

No, we need a loyal listener. We need a loyal listener. Check the tape, listen to every episode. Shoot us a Twitter message or instagrammers. Yeah, that's good.

And Dylan you're the graphicsye, because they sent me my picks on the show. Then, as you said, I only had two picks for the week, Yeah you did. There should have been the two green ones from the day before.

No, those are the new picks, Larry, So you had notre Dame and you had the Bengals last week like picks for this previous week.

No, whatever, we're doing whatever way you want. I know them up twenty five units and that's fine. Out are we going back to zero like we usually do for the playoffs or are we going to keep it twenty five?

We could determine a regular a regular season champ. But okay, continue this totally.

Okay.

So either way, Larry, if we count these units or not, you're the regular season.

Sho Larry, Okay, okay, so we're going back to zero.

All right, Larry, perfect, that's perfect.

Okay, But Larry's the big winner. Dylan, I have you at ten and a half units, and Shay, I have you at nineteen and a half. All right, fine, yeah.

Shay, all right, fine, that didn't sound good.

Well, I don't want to be Larry park too. We already got one of you. I mean, and by the way, Shae is back from Vienna. Yeah you look different, do I? Yeah? I don't know what it is. Emboldened, nost depressed do I?

No?

You look regal?

No?

I Henry the eighth, Yeah, I don't know what it is. I got a haircut, yeah, but like you didn't get it where it's too cold? Too cold.

How often do you cut your hair? Seems like pretty frequent.

Like once a month. I think you care about your hair a lot, do you?

I do?

Yeah?

Everybody agrees, yeah you do.

Yeah. Yeah, you seem like you're low maintenance, but you're not. Oh here we go, all right, I'm very low maintenance. Look at me. No, you've given up. I've gotten married. What it is, I've gotten married. I have three kids. It don't matter. But everything's great. Yeahs going well. Actually it's weird. Yeah, it's going well. Okay.

Well, when you don't, you know, draw a line in the sand and you know, give people ultimatums and that happens, that does happen.

You got to work and I worked in Austria. I was good, we're working.

You do telehealth therapy from Austria.

No. I texted him, said, hey, I could be there your therapist. Yeah, okay. We didn't do a couple of counseling. We haven't done it since so it's been like two sessions and then a couple of skips. So to me, that's good.

That's like the Tony soprano style. Mm hmm.

I think couple's therapy is when the couples are together. Heyo, if you hell, yeah, hey therapy? All right. Is Mike McCarthy going to be staying in Dallas? Yeah? I guess I don't fucking and I think I think this is insane. I think this is insane. Remember the Ginger didn't just get fired because he was a Ginger. He got fired because of his regular season success and his playoff failures. And that's exactly what we've got with the fat Man. Okay,

Actually less regular season success yeah recently.

Yeah, Okay, let me recap here. Let's see Texas to beat Notre Dame in the national title. That's Shay, that's plus eighteen hundred. And let's see anything else that you need to recap from last week.

Just no, No, Texas needs to run the ball, uh, Dylan. You've got Notre Dame winning the title plus eight hundred.

And they need to throw the ball.

And Larry has Uh let's see nothing, no futures. Okay you I've said that before, Larry, no future, Shay recapping anything nfil one absolutely not, Dylan.

That anyone on the wrong side of the Ravens game. I'm sure there's a bunch of smarties out there. It's not taking it. And it was like plus twenty half prior to kickoff. Uh, that one, I mean in that game you're better off just taking the minus twenty because if you think you're gonna like outsmart it and be like twenty points is a lot and then get blown out, you're like, all right, they basically told me that that was gonna happen.

Yes they do, Yes, Ray, why did they play their starters in that game? Because now Za Flowers might not play and that's massive, So why would you that was I don't.

Think I know if somebody asked John Harball.

The Pride, I don't know, Glory stupid.

Yes, but weren't they playing for a home playoff game? They were playing for the division, right, Well.

They had to win, they had to win, but yeah, other teams had to do other ship, right, weren't they.

No, No, No, that was just straight up, straight up they won, So they weren't playing for something. It's not like the Chiefs.

They were like totally just wrong.

Where the Chiefs lost on purpose so they wouldn't have to face the Bengals. It's scared actually, and you read smart. Do you think the Chiefs through that game so they wouldn't have to face Joe.

Travis Kelsey seemed a little too interested in talking ship to the Bengals afterwards.

Yeah, he said he would meet him Walmart parking I'm not afraid of anyone seeing a Walmart parking lot in a decade. Chill out, dude, even before driven by everybody who's driven him. Yeah, in Cleveland Heights.

I'm not sure if there's very many Walmarts Cleveland, Yes, not Cleveland Heights.

Have you ever been there frequently?

Cleveland is one big Walmart if we're being but why are we doing this?

Dare I say the state of Ohio as the Walmart.

We all know, we all know the worst state in the union. It is not Ohio. H hell yeah, uh no, it's not. Okay, name worst one.

I don't want to get into it, no, because that's I'm not that person. Why can't you embrace like love and admiration.

I'm a realist friendship. I'm just a real carring, you know. I embrace all that other bullet hashtag caring, hashtag love.

Can we agree that?

We can agree?

It's the Sam's Club of states?

What do you want? Why are we doing this with Ohio? Don't just feel so that's the worst state in the Union. Yeah, I would say we should trade it for Canada. But I don't think Canada would take it. Well, no, Canada is not going to take it. Yeah, exactly no.

But then that we would give them Ohio, and then when we absorbed Canada as a fifty first date, we would just get fucking Ohio back.

To we should we should actually make Ohio a territory like Puerto Rico. Yeah, just take away all their voting rights.

I think they should have to use different passports though.

I totally agree. Yeah, yeah, And I have a different Olympic team and they never like nobody ever makes the team. No, they they have their own Olympic team. They don't win any medals. Tonga, they're tied with India for zero goal. Yes, ray is.

They would have Lebron and Curry. Could that team win a medal?

Ohio would Yeah, Curry.

Curry was born in Akron, so he could technically play.

Citizens or Ohio.

Well, okay, if you start taking people born in Ohio, then that's a pre there's a lot.

Well, Lebron, Lebron goes with Lebron, Sure.

Lebron, Stephen Dan Fair three or three basketball.

But if the culture hasn't impacted you, like, that's what it is, the culture of Ohio is going to drag you down and force you to lose. So Curry doesn't know. They don't count. This is where the workforce was born, you know all the time. I know. Yeah.

Yeah, And then America decided gave up on Ohio. Yes, I agree, Yeah, Ohio didn't give up on America. So let's just you know, run the play out and completely abandon them. Get them out of the picture, and we'll be all better.

Maybe a charitable donation to Canada show of good faith.

I'm telling you a territory, just take away their voting rights. Now, if you said we could get Toronto, I would be okay with trading Ohio for Toronto. Okay, Toronto is a great. That's a great.

That seems like a steal of a trade.

It does. Yeah, but we get for Greenland. Actually, yeah, give the Dutch Greenland. I'd do it ourpeat. You give up Ohio for the Panama Canal. Oh, of course.

We're not giving that. That's Hardshi Carter, God rest his soul, gave that too for a buck. Yeah, Jesus, I got to see that. A couple of months ago, I was in Panama, went to the Panama Canal.

My dad grew up there Panama, the canal zone whose old man was army.

Oh yeah, there was a woman who was breastfeeding. I'm at the canal, hey now, and there was a woman you know, so there was a captain of a ship. You know, it takes forever to get through the canal. And I'm just sitting there and this I see like five guys go, hey, come here, and they're staring down, like I don't know, twenty feet away from my wife and I on these benches and you're watching the ships

Yeah? And I go, there's a woman breastfeeding.

Let's go check it out.

Have they never seen like a woman her boobs or the breastfeeding now or even if you have, you still look at you know, point and get everybody. Well, they were all the way up there. They didn't do not have internet access, They don't have any.

Latin America has a lot less like shame in that department.

I think that that leads us to this week. It's bad. Larry, leading off with college football, your Notre Dame fighting Irish against Penn State Notre Dame in a blowout.

I know I'm given one and a half. I think they're going to win by two touchdowns. I've been against Penn State all year and I've been on Notre Dame all year. Okay, so Notre Dame minus to one and a half, and then I looked I had too many favorites. So I'm taking Texas plus the six.

Against Ohio State good Man just for.

Notre Dame, because I want I'd rather Notre Dame play Texas in the National Championship than them they play Ohio.

Yeah, fair, fair, all right, shay. I got the under in Ohio State Texas game under fifty four, and then I got James Franklin plus one and a half. I think they got the better quarterback. I think that running game is going to punish Notre Dame. I don't think Notre Dame's running game is that good. I don't know. I like James Franklin here, m okay that I broke it down. They're gonna win by three.

Thank you.

See, the more you do, the more you break down something, the more I want to go in the other way. Thank you the other direction, all right, Dylan.

All right, Dan, I got Notre Dame minus one and a half versus Penn State, and what some online are dubbing the.

No, no, we're not doing that.

God that No, we're not doing that, I said, some online, not me.

Damn.

All right. So I've got Notre Dame minus one and a half against Penn State.

For the record, that wasn't me. I just went no, no, no, wait, no for change, incredit.

And uh, I like Notre Dame. Their secondary looked a little switch cheesy. Against Georgia, a couple dropped deep balls and that game ends differently, okay, but I like their defense.

Uh.

And then I'm going over forty five and a half, the same point total as Notre Dame against Georgia, which went under. They're baiting you to take the under, okay. And then I'm going to Ohio State minus six against I've been burned vetting against Ohio State a lot this year, and I just don't. I'm not a believer in Texas.

That leads us to the NFL, and bad Larry, you lead us off. Damn.

I'm gonna taken over forty two and a half in a Charger Texans game. I'm taking the Ravens minus to ten against the Steelers nine and a half okay, the Broncos plus the nine against the.

Bills, eight and a half.

Okay, Eagles minus four and a half against the Packers, yep, Buccaneers minus three against the Commanders. All of these are one unit bets.

All one unit, all right, Shay, I kind of got some with Larry here Denver plus eight and a half, Bucks, Commanders under fifty one, the Cheese Steaks minus four and a half, Viankings minus one and a half. That's where I'm at, Danny, Wait, so do you have okay? See up the Eagles minus four and a half again screen day okay, and then Vikings minus one and a half against the Rams.

All right, Dylan, I got Texans plus three against the Chargers, Ravens minus sign half against the Stillers. This isn't against my better judgment bet, but that line is stiff.

How do you think the Texans get out of playing the first game every single playoff? For like, it's the last ten times I think they've been in the playoffs, they played the early game on Saturday.

It's actually what I think, like when I envision that first playoff Saturday. It's the fucking Texans logo.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't know.

Plus three against the Chargers. I like it. I still think the Chargers are even with Harboff fraudulent. I'm going Bill's minus eight and a half against the Broncos, laying the big one there and then done that before Commanders. I don't think so, you mean more than one.

Sources close to me. I checked that.

Yeah, I got the Commanders plus three against the Bucks, and then I'm taking the Vikings minus the one and a half against the Rams.

Anything else that needs to be mentioned here. I'm innocent. I've done nothing wrong.

Bullshit in a while.

Yeah, it's interesting being like a productive member of society. What I did something yesterday? Oh, I picked up firewood for the family, a bunch of firewood, and then I brought it home and I stacked it and I did all that, and I was like, holy shit, looks like I'm like being a good husband and dad. It was weird. It was strange, but I did it. Okay, they're real good, I guess. I mean, I feel like I got to pay taxes now and all that other bullshit. But you know, productive members of society.

You don't have to until they get you, you know.

Oh they got me a few times. Do you have to pee like you have tests? You're in tests?

Oh, pissed from the irs?

No? No, no, no, they haven't got me yet. No, the roommate doesn't piss test me.

No.

No, I'm all right. Okay, uh Dylan, anything you want to add.

Now, I'm looking forward to a little Thursday night playoff football.

Okay, bad Larry, how about you?

True man? We got five five days straight of football. I looked it up. I'm going to the Dubliner Bar in DC for the game tonight, so a big Notre Dame hangout.

I hear they had the meetings in the basement.

Yeah. Go figure a bar named the Dubliner Shocker. Yeah. Yeah, they have a Doublinner Google.

Yeah, I googled it. They gave me the top ten things to places to Washington, and Dubliner was number one.

I'm going, all right, we better get there early. I guess all right, thank you, Larry. Larry, it's his uh connectivity was cramping out there. Yeah, but he's going down to Washington, d C. The uh Shay and Irving Podcast yeah, I had an episode come out today. Oh yeah, ok last night okay, talked about the fires, talked about a lot of stuff. Yeah, wherever you get your podcasts, Shae and Irving, not Shae and Irving, it's Shae in Irving.

I don't know if it's so.

Whoever, it's gonna displayed.

So that's it.

We're back, better than ever.

It's the playoff portion of the Dan Patrick Takes Again.

What what are you talking about? You're back and better than ever?

Yeah, get up?

Yeah all right, color excited.

Yeah, it's not your second take, it's your first take.

That's right. Yeah wow. Oh yeah, Okay, thanks for joining us. Have a great weekend. We look forward to next Thursday. On Dan Patrick Takes a Yeah,