Gambling was something that I did.
This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.
One of my bookies died at the kitchen table.
The podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.
One bet, another bet, another bet.
Without doing the actual gambling.
You're a coward.
It's easy to have a scapegoat.
And now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving, and Dylan the Graphics got I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick.
Welcome to Dan Patrick takes a gamble. Now we have Dylan is here, Shay is here. Also Ray the Interurn, Marvin is here. We're gonna call bad Larry. Bad Larry doesn't join us in studio. He's down at the Jersey Shore. But we're gonna mess with Larry. What we're gonna do is give him fake lines because Larry goes by the newspaper, the New York Post.
From a week prior.
Yeah, and he's always wrong, and we thought we're going to inflate these numbers, so we really mess with him. So Marvin, if you're ready to call bad Larry and then we can start this god forsaken podcast. Man, it's great to see everybody. By the way, is that your post election haircut.
This is my ready for war haircut Januar six person, Nancy Pelosi.
Do you think Paul made it through that one?
Here the hammer guy.
We're gonna make January sixth look like a picnic data We're not.
Yeah, we're taken over. How did your wife handle all the roommate is in shambles? Yeah?
So I came home yesterday and I was like, hey, how's everybody doing here? Are we okay? And she flipped out.
She lost it. Oh no, she was like, you can't talk about it like that. It's more important than you. First off, you are a very fancy tennis mom. Your life is fine, nothing will change. You are not an illegal immigrant. Like, what what are you worried about? Honestly, relax, Larry there, Yeah, here, I'm here Dan.
How you doing, Buddy?
Good? Good, big day tomorrow, Big day today? Well, no, bigger day tomorrow.
Bigger day tomorrow. Out last night late with a couple of the groomsmen. I'm hurting, you know, I did my twenty bud Wat was like I'm supposed to and then they started ordering coffee martinis and.
Moscow mules expresso not coffee.
I thought they were quite expressed on martinis.
Whatever.
I don't think that crap. But I did taste the Moscow mules. They weren't bad.
Actually, did you throw up, Larry?
No?
I did not. My wife woke me up a little too early this morning for what are you kidding me? Shay, you got three daughters. I pity you already.
Yeah, but this is it, Larry, You're done. I'm yeah, I haven't really.
I got to write the speech tonight, I guess.
Oh wow, A long way to.
Have you started.
No, can we crowdsource the speech?
You're not gonna want to. I think I'm gonna just add a littit.
No, no, not not for your your daughter's wedding. Don't and don't get up there and think you're funny and playing to you know, Oh no.
No'll there'll be no joke. It's going to be two minutes, Dan.
Okay, that is good. That's that's nice.
Always go shorter. Always. Are you going to cry? Where you know?
When I've been going over in my head? Yeah, I think I probably will cry.
Yeah, I've never seen you cry. I've only known you what thirty years?
Yeah? I haven't probably cried in a long time.
Is this your only daughter.
Now as I'm thinking about it.
Oh wait, you're going to cry now on the podcast.
I'm just I'm I'm doing the podcast, but I'm trying to formulate some kind of story for tomorrow night. I've really wish I could do it tonight at the rehearsal dinner.
How old is your daughter?
Larry thirty three?
Okay, all right, letting go. I get it walking down the aisle. Yeah, I would be I would melt.
I'm not. I'm not looking forward to the speech. I'll tell you that right now.
Well, I will get there for the reception. I won't be there for the ceremony.
That's funny, That's fine.
Okay now, but I'm just letting you know. I get through the show and the wedding starts an hour later, it's going to take me two and a half hours to get down there.
Yeah, and you wonder why I don't do these podcasts? Then?
Wow, wait where did that come from.
I'm just saying, I know that's a tough two and a half hours. And on a Friday with the weather is nice, I mean it's eighty degree.
We do the podcast on Thursday. What does that have to do with Friday? Right.
I'm feeling bad for your traffic tomorrow.
I know, but it's going to be a ship drive.
I know when I get there, I get there and then I don't.
Dan, have you thought about going by boat?
I have not have a helicopter, Danny.
Yeah, but you could blade it.
Yeah, you could do that if you really. Then I don't want to die going to Bad Larry's daughter's.
It does seem like got a shitty last ye.
If I died in a private plane or a helicopter, I would feel like that's God's just yes, like that's what you get.
Could be right, yeah, yeah, among other things.
Let me recap here. Bad Larry lost one unit, so you're now at plus seven correct. Yeah, wow, Dylan lost six.
Man, you're at minus twenty three and a half. Small sat back then for a major comeback.
Shay won a unit and you're up two and a half. Uh, Dylan, I think won the Diego Pobby Award.
I hate this fucking thing. I literally had it the entire time. Almost, Okay, you do one week.
I don't.
I don't even Dan, you gotta explain to me what it's for, like the worst beat or just like.
Shitty picks week. That's like Dylan.
Minus twenty three and a half.
You should have it every week, hey, Larry, go fuck yourself.
Dylan had main covering against Oklahoma, unbelievable, lost by forty five.
All right, look good for a while.
I faded Indiana. Yeah, Texans alternate spread that one.
I actually really was confident about that one too. God and Iowa, Dan, which, I have some new rules for myself this week that we can do.
I'm not gonna let you bet on Iowa. Those are part of the night, right, I can't. Yeah, like, I'm good there.
Actually, you know, I saw a funny little stat today that they're eight and one to the over the season, the best in the FBS.
Yes, because of what happened last year.
I know it's it's it's penance.
For it's a market correction.
Yeah yeah, yeah they I didn't know they priced that one in last year already. But yeah, lovey.
Let's see bad Larry didn't do well in college, did really well in the NFL.
Like I killed the college. Can we talk about that Oregon game?
Oh my god, son.
Fourteen and a half, you're up fourteen. Michigan has one time out left. There's forty seconds ago. Game, it's first and goal from the seven. They run a play like the five, the three, Michigan doesn't use their time out. You're taking me, and the game is over. They ran another play and scored a touchdown.
Yep, coverage down, baby, coverage downlaire I hit that shit like a northern.
Uh let's see, Shay anything you want to recomp here from last week? Uh yeah, main ou over forty three? That was easy, peasy. I gotta say Bill's minus six, wrong fucking side there, it was back. That was a big dumb bet by me.
I saw. I saw stat after the fact about the point total with Bill's Dolphins, and it's like to the over the last like twenty.
I read that wrong. It's ship Uh yeah, yeah right.
So obviously everyone saw how that game ended. Did you see Tua's passing yards for that game?
Oh that was Oh wait, did they that last play the lateral like.
Negative twenty seven yards or something?
His passing prop was two forty three and a half. He had two fifty four with five seconds left, and then they threw the completion. Wattle ran back twenty four yards and look.
Here's my question. He threw it to somebody besides wattle right, and they lateraled the watch, so that's how they score that ship.
I guess, I don't know.
If you complete a pass, yeah, that's automatically receiving whatever.
After that, especially on the laterals. That's that's a joker moment for some time.
There's some broken out there. Yeah yeah, some guy who had his parents' last two thousand dollars student loan props. Yeah.
All right. That brings us to this week. Larry's had his mind on other things. He's got a big day tomorrow with his daughter, but carving out enough time to spread this information across America. All right, so where do you want to start?
I'm going to start with the obviously college. But uh, I did these picks like twelve thirty last night, lying in bed when I got home hurting, the room was spinning, So I hope might have circled some wrong ones here.
Wait wait, no, no, no, we're not doing this.
We're not We're not doing this.
These are best and my uh roomsman, last night I better games. Let that we're going to watch tonight at the rehearsal dinner with my Irish groomsman. Okay, I'm the under but we'll talk that out right now.
But I don't want excuses. Every week is an excuse. You just gave me an excuse that you were drunk last night in bed and you might have circled some wrong, wrong teams.
That's probably his best excuse as far.
Nothing like that. I have. I have Iowa minus a five and a half against UCLA.
So, uh, I don't think it's that. I think it's seven and a half.
Oh you know what I made this with. I don't want it.
Take it off whoa Okay, little self control.
Okay, seven and a half from five and a half, that's a big move. I want Boston College minus a two and a half against Syracuse.
Uh, Larry, I was messing with you. Uh, the the line is, uh, Iowa minus six.
I can get out, then I'll keep it. Okay, Iowa minus six I want against you because.
We were gonna we were gonna have fun at your expense. But uh, that was it, that was the fun we had.
Okay, continue Boston College minus the two and a half against Syracuse minus two. Okay, I'm not gonna I'm trying to trust my boy, right, so I'm not even gonna change these I'm just sitting in the car and my wife's in the jewelry store right now.
So bad timing. What do you mean you in there with her? Dude, you got to pay for a wedding. What the fuck are you doing, Larry?
I don't know. I don't know what she's doing in there.
I know what she's doing.
I don't care what she's doing. I want under Minnesota Rutgers under the forty six and a half, all right, okay, I want the over in the Clemson Virginia Tech game. I think it's fifty three or fifty three and a half, fifty two and a half coming down, Okay, fifty I'll keep that im. This is just a spike bet. Last night was still so fissed at Oregon. I'm taking Maryland getting this twenty five and a half.
Yeah, twenty Fuck Oregon, twenty four and a half.
Twenty four. I don't care. I actually I actually rooted. If you kneel the games over, they score the touchdown, now they have to kick off. I was hoping it's a broken legs. I mean, it's unbelievably bad coaching.
Larry.
Put it on the table and take Maryland straight up.
Yes, argue is going to win the game, but I just hope the gods come back and screw them a little bit. Then I want this is a bad bet too, but I want Alabama minus the three against.
La Wow Nikes at night, and that's.
That's a I know that's a bad bet, but I just hate that LSU coach.
So what else do you have?
Laiir plus Alabama minus and three against LSU? And then I have Missouri getting the two and a half against Oklahoma.
You're actually getting three.
Okay, so they're both threes Alabama and Missouri.
Yeah, okay, perfect, Okay, all right, say no, I'll get to your NFL picks.
I think Larry has one more.
Oh you got one more college pick? No, just a missage, okay, yeah, So we do that after we do everybody else's college picksh So it's your turn.
Shot Penn State laying thirteen and a half against Washington. I'm not going to give you the nickname for Penn State because I'll probably be bleeped out. And then Orlando over the herbergandosiphile ads. I got over fifty five and a half right there, All right, South Kakilaki, wave your shirt around ladies. It's laying three and a half.
Yeah, I know, right now, there we go.
I know I'm probably losing this because I'm going against my boy, but I have to diego Bobby, I know I love him. Cyclones laying three against the other Cyclones. Oh, I got. I got the wrong side of the Great War plus two.
And a half against the same side.
They're on the same side, right, No, I know they are, but Old Miss is definitely the wrong side. Okay, she got that mascot's all of a thing.
Then the name alone.
Miss the mascot? Come on, are we uh?
Don Johnson in django.
Old Miss? Yeah? I got. I got Big Daddy plus two and a half, Old Miss plus two and a half.
Yeah.
Uh.
Georgia Tech plus ten and a half against the Hurricane Cocaine Cowboys. Memphis laying nine against the fucking Nerds. Oh man, that's it right.
I watched Rice against As. I couldn't believe that I had Navy good Holy shit, I know they roughed them on. It's a drop off here, Danny, Yeah, Dylan.
All right, Dan, I've got UCLA plus six against Iowa. No, yeah, you Saily scrappy Florida plus twenty one and a half against Texas. That's a lot of points. I don't know, but I still am not totally.
Didn't they just announce that Napier is going to keep his job at Florida. I think for some reason, I don't blame that bet whatsoever. Twenty and a half, Yeah, that's a good number.
Texas probably wind, but I don't think it's that much of a blowout.
I agree.
Tulane minus twenty seven against Temple to Lane's been a fucking force this year, and Temple might be is up there for worst team in the FBS. And I got Alabama LSU over the fifty eight two defenses that have not shown up at all. Okay, and I'm going the Attle of Utah dan Utah plus three and a half against by U. Utah has been a disappointment this year, big, big time, but I think they probably went out right.
And they would love to spoil by U.
They would love to. And then we missed one of Larry's picks.
They got that Israelite at b Yu a quarterback, Yeah, smoking, yeah, the chosen quarterback, chosen QB. He's the only Jewish quarterback in the FBF. Yes, is that b Yu, which is obviously Larry also has sage. Rosen Fells. Didn't he go to Notre Dame. He was Jewish.
There's some Jewish kids that go to like caterback school.
Just saying yeah, that does sage does not sound Irish. I'll tell you that.
It's definitely not irish. You said, Larry was Larry had one more pick that we that we miss. Okay, Larry had Rutgers in Minnesota under forty six and a half.
Said that, Yeah, I thought we hit that. We did. We definitely all.
Right, never mind, I may oh.
I thought this was like there was a joke there. It was a big payoff. Now.
I was just reading down the West and I didn't realize.
Okay, just swinging a miss. No big deal, Dandy. All right, Larry, here you go.
You want my NFL picks now? Yeah, okay, I want the under tonight in the Ravens Bengals game. That's fifty three fifty three, Okay, I have this is I have my Giants minus to six against the Panthers' probably the two worst teams in football.
Yeah, I got Giants minus eight.
Wow, God, you know what that's I don't want it.
Whoa, wow, you're giants, Larry, No control, Larry, Larry, I'm just kidding. The line is six, Okay.
Then I'm keeping them again. All right, Giants minus six, I think this is I think jes Or locks are they're getting one.
They're getting one.
Just plus one against the Cardinals.
Right.
I've been shortened the Chiefs for about two years. So I'm taking the Broncos on the eight and a half against the Chiefs, and I want the Lions minus three and a half against the Texans.
All right, that'll do it for bad Larry Shay uh nfl Danny.
I got Chargers money line, so parlay parlay. No, no, it's just two team parlay money line. I got the fighting Harball's money line against the Titans, and then I got the fighting Mike Tomlins against the Redskins. I refuse to erase Native Americans. It is the Redskins plus one eighty one. Mike Tomlin is legit, good against legit, good about it. I think he's going to dial up some bullets. Most coaches are good against ricky quarterbacks.
Now, Mike McCarthy, I'll tell you right, I didn't think we were going to mention the Cowboys. I didn't want to I don't want to know. Remember, we've grown.
We know it makes me laugh, you know it makes me laugh. Danny dak Prescott towards Handy off the bone. He's gonna be out at least four weeks, maybe six. Trey Lance was traded for a fourth round and they're starting to half Ginger Cooper rush over him. Yes, if that ain't an indictment on the front office, specifically the goddamn general manager, I don't know what it is.
Well, they also brought in a wide receiver, Trey ming Dude, Danny, I'm just I'm filling out your story. What did the Chiefs have to give up for DeAndre Hopkins fourth round? What did the Cowboys give up for Trey Mingo? They gave up a fourth and then seventh? Yeah, seventh.
It's called elder abuse, and I don't I don't think it's okay. So that's me being a progressive.
If Jerry Jones was running for president, he'd died, would would people would People say it doesn't make sense or he's too old. I mean, he's running the Cowboys. Jerry Jones is a definition of anacon, and those days are numbered he is not in the political spectrum anymore. He was at George W. Bush acolyte friend favor. He ain't. This is the wrong political climate for Jerry Jones. Thank god, thank god. Do you have any other picks here? Yeah?
I do.
I got the Pats plus six just because of the election against the Rioters. I got the Cards laying one against the Hiauascas, and then I got the Bills laying four against the Joe Flacco's.
So you're not you and Bat Larrier opposite with the Jets Cardinals. Guy, Yeah, I mean the only reason I bet the Cardinals is because of the revenge spot from the Hail Mary. That's it. Oh, okay, literally it okay, Dylan, your turn.
All right, Dan, tonight, I've got Mark Andrews first touchdown score, first twelve hundred. I need this, I need I am that right. Yes, I've written off betting against or taking the IOWA under I'm not fading Indiana anymore. I'm making rules for myself. Okay, that might sort of break the rules. But Bill's minus four against the Colts, like Shay over here, Bronco's money line against the Chiefs.
Jesus Christ Dude's do eighty.
This is the team the Chiefs lose to. It's someone in their division. When they're like fucking seven eight point favorites.
How do you not go for two? I agree? Yeah, how do you not that spot? You know, like I got to kill I got to kill Mahomes in overtime? You want Mahomes?
You know what that You know what the end result is going to be if you go to overtime.
So just you saw Baker Mayfield's reaction. Yeah, he was like shit and then not automatically gets the ball.
It takes all the wind out of your sales.
Look at the number of plays the Bucks defense was on the field. Chiefs had so many more plays than them. You want to go now, try it now. But if you go to overtime, you lose.
Live by the sword, die by this.
Exactly what else do you have there? Deal?
So Broncos money line, I've got the Stillers plus three against the Commanders as well. I also actually like them to win out right too. Managers have been cooking a little too much. D crook Ye and Lions minus three and a half against the Texans because I've crunched the numbers. Dan and the Lions are amazing at covering the spread, so I'm done betting against them for the foreseeable future.
Well that brings us to the conclusion. By the way, Shan Irving, whose podcast Wherever You Get Your Pop, had an election reaction podcast last night. Danny went really well.
Yeah, yeah, just me and the Internet a little solo pie last about forty seven minutes.
Broke a lot of ground, told a lot of truths. How did how did social media treat you?
Um?
No, I've gotten beat up. I kind of live tweeted the roommate's reaction to the election, So that was pretty entertaining for the people. If your wife needs somebody to speak to.
This is the this is the chests, the chess match happening.
I mean, she needs to restock on the red wine before she talks to anybody. I think because we ran out quick, like eleven thirty, we were dry. I'm going to bed.
Yeah, yeah, I mean your your stockman.
Yeah, you're not drinking. No I'm not exactly.
So she hammered it all and Mike my idea was to wake her up at like three in the morning with the house alarm and tell her the National Guard is here to take her to one of the camps.
Wow, it would be a great last joke that you ever get to pull on her.
I just waved goodbye with the National Guards. Put her in the back of a van.
Just gooner.
Have your three daughters out there? Well, I wish you had the right opinions. Goodbye, good bye. Okay, that's it, We've we've done it. It's a big day, Larry. I'll see tomorrow afternoon. Now is this black tie?
No?
Oh?
Okay? How many tuxes do you own? I only I think I have two? Man of the People.
Yeah, do you have a tuch show?
No, I'm like I'm like Russell Wilson. I keep a tuxedo in the back of my.
Car and all to you never know when you're gonna need it. I actually I have a tux from orchestra in high school. It does not fit anymore. You were in the orchestra, Virgin, I have first of all. First of all, I was crushing pussy back then. Yeah, I was in the orchestra. I played the upright base.
You would.
You had to wear some fucking TUXI.
The upright bass. Yeah. I can't even play bass like a badass would.
No, I played that the upright bass I was in the jazz band. Also, I hadn't played the electric base.
Oh yeah, really popular in high school. Let me tell you. Okay, So Larry, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Good luck with all the festivities tonight, and uh with your speech.
Thank you guys, Larry.
What's the deal tomorrow?
Good luck with the jewelry store layer.
Fifteen minutes ago, my wife gave me a big smile and and said she's walking home. So she's on her way home.
Yeah, yeah, she.
Was walking very slowly, so I'm gonna go pick her up.
Damn.
We'll see you tomorrow, guys, have fun. Good luck, Dylan. I hope you win that. What was it the money line the first time?
Yeah, Mark Andrews, Mark Andrews, Yeah, I want that.
I want that.
Those touch those tight ends in primetime are very feisty.
All right, Thank you, Larry. That's a bad lay badler, big day tomorrow.
I don't think Shane and Are you're not going to make it. There's some time constraints.
The roommate's going to la on Friday, and she has to leave the house at nine to get to l GA for the overnighter, so I got to be home by nine. I don't know how the hell i'd be home by night, so two and a half hour drive. You said that's bullshit, and I am. You probably wouldn't be in good shape.
No, it'll probably a mistake for me to come back go to layers relapse.
Yeah, I don't want your relapse in Yeah.
And then I come back home to the roommate who has to get on a plane to leave us alone for three they're there with the three. She would be freaking the fucking and you relapse or or I relapse on alcohol, buy some cocaine in New Jersey because it's New Jersey, and then.
I get down the city in the way down, or get it out.
From my boy pistol on the way.
Down and our boy pistol, our boy pistol rip a couple of bumps on the way home, and I come home sober right rock.
Yeah, you parent ready to parent the ship out of that parent that ship.
Out of those kids, discipline structure right away, I think, just or don't go. I wouldn't go.
I had my my Tony soprano costume that I didn't get to wear for Halloween that I was going to wear to the wedding.
Well, you're single. You don't have any real restrictions. You could go.
I'm not single. I just don't have three daughters.
You ain't, Yes, I don't.
I don't file anything on any paperwork single, Like do you swipe?
You know, write any.
First of all? Let's uh now, okay.
Good answer.
Yeah, it sounds like you know, I don't.
I don't do that. I don't do that ship anymore.
Okay anymore?
Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Why would I Why? Why did I do that?
Yeah? Let me tell you why you would?
Yeah from shay?
Yeah, why wouldn't you?
Wait, it's called fun you're in love?
Yeah?
Really? Yeah, just get her pregnant.
Then I don't want to do that.
Why not?
Because that means so happy that you're don't.
Have to do anything.
I feel like I'll have to do something.
You won't have to take care of the baby. Okay the rest of your life? No, you don't know, you don't. Well, I don't want to go to one stay married. You don't.
I don't want to go to the doctor for myself.
Let alone. Why would you go to the doctor for her?
Like the kid?
Why is that what you do. No, Yeah, you go there and see the ultra sound. Nope, then you no hands and then you nope.
You don't have to do any of that.
Nope.
So you just pay for stuff.
None of that's required, none of it. So you just give them money, health care, all that ship, you know, that's it. That's it. Then you show up with a baby's born.
All right, fuck it, I'm sold. Then yeah, you.
Get a night nurse to do the titty work. You're done. Man, it's easy. It's easy.
I know. I never had broken down like that.
How about we, uh we we close up shop here. Don't listen to shade when it comes to that, have more kids. Don't listen to these cowards. I would have more, me too, I would have another couple. I told you that.
Would you want like a one year old kid running around?
Yeah? I would. It would be a joy and a blessed Yeah, totally agree.
Man.
It's kind of like a puppy. I have a puppy.
You can you can leave both in a hot car.
Wait, should I have not stopped that one?
No?
You should have? No, No, because you you struggled just to have one.
It feels like, well, yeah, because year and a year out, we got to take my son to his surgeon.
My son had surgery.
That's different.
Yeah, twelve twelve hours after he was born.
That's different. Oh, why don't you bring the whole podcast down. I mean we're we were just having fun of was lighthearted.
But he's all good that he still wants to see your house. Yeah, goes there, He goes, huh, how much you think?
Like something like this goes for I said, you can't ask Dan how much his house costs?
Would you pay for this joint?
Yeah?
That's he was like, can I ask him Dan? Like, no, stop calling him by the way, you ask him?
What's the insurance claim on this? That's all you got to ask?
Well, Dan, what would you rather call you than Dan?
Danny? Mister?
Yeah?
Boss? Has happened with kids calling like grown ups by their first name. Every single friend of my kids calls me Shay, and I'm like, who.
The hell I think if you meet them as an adult, Like, if I meet you as an adult, I'm.
Old.
My friends from like growing up whose parents like I grew up with, like they're still mister and missus.
Yes, great, but it's different now, dude, I'm telling you it's one hundred percent.
I'm say like, hey call me Shay Never Irving. Yeah, hell yeah, doctor Irving.
Ridiculous. All right, Uh, that's it. We've done everything we possible he can do and then some. So for bad Larry Bill and the graphics Gun Shae In Irving, Marvin Picture Deray and yours truly have a spectacular weekend.