Episode 138: We're Best Friends Now

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the kitchen Table.

A podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving, and Dylan the Graphics Guy. I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

Welcome to the Gambling Podcast. Our starting lineup is Shayan Irving, my new best friend. We got Dylan the graphics Guy.

Your old best friend.

We have the Ray, the Intern picture de Ray and Bad Larry joining us as well. And Marvin is also in here in the room. Let's say, hey, hey Larry.

Hey guys, how are you doing?

Happy folloween guys, Happy Halloween? Larry?

Do you say I'm sitting on a front porch waiting for my first kid?

Are you dressed as a guy with fake teeth?

Do you say happy Halloween?

No?

Like to grown ups?

No, No, Unless it's a child, college age girl or a gay man, you do not engage in Halloween.

I didn't even know.

They are Like most of the people who you hang out with.

That's my social circle. That's favorites on the old iPhone. No, it's not a holiday at all, especially for grown men.

I don't think it takes a little the punch out of it. It's definitely like a weekend holiday, so like if it falls on a Saturday, it's not a hard Friday.

It's a pagan holiday.

That's why you don't like it.

Sorry, going to heaven.

Wait, your religion doesn't celebrate Halloween. Halloween is the day, one day of the year where the wall.

Is thinnest between this life and the next, So the demons come out. They're much closer to you than they should be. So you got to protect yourself as opposed to take part in this consumer capitalist holiday.

That's just Oh the rest of them aren't.

No. No, yeah, Christmas, No, that's how capital is. No, I totally agree.

I think Christmas should be banned from the You know, Christmas is a Roman holiday that they tricked Christians into celebrating. Jesus wasn't born in the twenty fifth of December, Let's be honest. He was born sometime you know, late spring, early summer. This cold is hell in the desert in the twenty fifth I think a baby can survive in a manger. I don't he dead. I'd be bad for all of.

Its Actually, weirdly a good point.

Yeah, swaddling clothes.

Yeah, how about Larry.

Way to go, Larry? Thank you?

Agree at the wedding, Larry? That next Friday?

Wait that's next next or this coming Friday week from tomorrow?

Yes, Larry.

Is there going to be valet at the reception?

Of course?

Oh, I'm good, Larry. I hope you know Shay is being serious about coming to the wedding reception. Okay, I'm just showing up ready. I'm just letting you know that. When we had dinner with Shae and his wife, he did bring it up, and then his wife was like, wait, you're not invited, and I said, no, he's He's going with me. He's my plus one.

Yeah.

Yeah, everyone I've heard from says that we're not invited.

We aren't. You guys aren't invited.

I thought we were.

You. You will not have a seat at the dinner table.

I'm not sitting.

Yeah, but it's a party.

But that the happy hour and a half open bar. They won't even know you're there. Just put a jack in.

Oh, have no fear. Let's not tempt him. Okay, I'm bringing dice. We're playing games. It's gonna be great.

Let's recap bad Larry talked a big game last week. He lost three units. Now he said plus eight. Dylan had a big zero didn't lose. Treading Water didn't win minus seventeen and a half. Shane and her bring zero units one zero units lost.

Larry's Bengals won't hold me Danny four and two in college. Heavy on the Bengals and they just laid an egg in the third and fourth quarter against the Eagles.

Who gets the Diego Pavia Award this week because Larry went ohero to four in college this week? So Larry is going to get the award named after the Vanderbilt quarterback. Congratulations Larry. You know what, Shay will bring that to you next Friday.

Deal. Yeah, how about that?

Anything else that needs to be mentioned here, By the way, we'll recap. Shay and his wife came over for dinner, and I told my wife not to step on the accelerator and do the homemade lasagna. I said, just go easy, hunt, you know, just waltz your way into some shrimp scampy a salad that your wife was remarking was unbel We had great wine there, we had good conversation, we had fake laughter, we had cigars. We did it all.

I mean, Danny, I was a hit obviously with the Patrick family, all of them there, there.

Were several No, it was my wife and my daughter, and they all loved me.

But I gotta say your wife, yeah, the cooking. Yeah, not only that she's smart as shit. She ain't. She ain't no slouch. She married me. That doesn't mean anything.

That means she is smart.

No, she can cook. Though she accidentally made the best scan she've ever had in my life. She did that salad was straight out.

Of what was the salad?

I don't know what it was.

I just know there were like walnuts in it. There was like a arugula, cranberries. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was, cranberry's.

I don't know what it was.

And the classy thing you had the salad after the entre.

But we do.

Yeah. I actually I kind of like when you eat the warm stuff first and then the cold stuff.

Made like seven pounds of posta yea, yes.

Well, like you think just like as a general rule, because usually it's like salad first, and then.

If you're poor, yeah, not always, you know, yes, yes, sir, Ray, How did you.

Prep the family for seeing Shay? Because when I went to Vegas, I had to tell my girlfriend and I was like, listen, this guy's the nicest guy in the world. But he's got a tattoo on the side of his head with a gun and he's gonna look a little scary, but he's super nice. And then when we sat down, she's like, I can see the gun.

She called me fat. Your wife called me fat the second I walked in there.

Well, no, no, she said she thought you were going to be skinny, yeah, which.

Means why would she think he was gonna be you know, she said, I thought you're gonna be a skinny biker guy. And I was like, thanks, thanks a lot, Yeah, sweet of you.

Instead said you're a fat biker exactly.

Yeah. Uh she yeah, I had given a build up there. I think my youngest, my my youngest daughter, Molly connected with Shay and his dilemma that he has with his youngest daughter. Oh yeah, my daughter who had four her birthdays canceled. It sounded pretty familiar, pretty tough. Yeah, yeah, and you're just starting She's Your Girls four. Yeah, so that's the finished product at twenty six that you were seeing there.

With my daughter Lass. I got home from work and obviously went to go to your house, YadA YadA. Then I got home from that and the babysitter was like, yeah, everything was fine except for Fefee, and Fife decided to strip naked in the middle of the kitchen at about seven pm when it was time for everybody to have dinner and then go to bed, okay, and refused any instruction from the babysitter about putting our clothes back on, which.

Is weird because that's what happened at my house around seven o'clock.

So except the cops were calling.

Anything to recap your bad, Larry, other than you didn't do well in college. You kind of salvaged it with the NFL.

Right, I lost my first seven bets. All my boys down here were busting my chops, and then I won the last four games to save a little little bit of face. Big win on the Dodgers with the bookie.

Yeah, but no, no, no, no, we don't do that. We we don't talk about things that we haven't spoken about on the show.

I think I said on the show two weeks ago, Cole wins Game one and Dodgers winning five. But I didn't bet it. We had no points on the show. But that doesn't mean I didn't bet it.

Can I can I prepare something?

Yes?

Yes you can.

Are we allowed to talk about losses that we incurred that weren't necessarily in the show.

Larry Larry does a two hour podcast, Larry Larry doesn't tell you his losses.

I bet the Yankees given two and a half runs last night, I'm up five nothing.

What a meltdown.

That's awesome.

Jesus, there's a loss that's not on the show.

If you said the Dodgers were going to win five, then why were you betting on the Yankees last night?

I said Cole was gonna got No, I haven't. I didn't bet the Dodgers to win five. I bet the Dodgers to win the series. I'm just telling you. On the show, I said Cole wins game won and the Dodgers winning.

No, you just said that you predicted they were gonna win five, and then it got to Game five and you bet on the aank.

I gotta say Cole looked good enough. He did like cold looked great, especially coming back after that fifth ending, Like a lot of pictures would have just collapsed after that, Like he showed up as a professional.

He was.

How do you let that go?

He was walking to the dugout. He was walking to the dugout.

How do you take that for granted? How the fuck do you do that? In October?

Shay, anything to recamp here?

Yeah, soccer board is happening, Danny, We're storming the castle.

Okay, you have to explain this again that you have a problem with the soccer board in your hometown.

Correct, it's it's run by communists and socialists, and so we have a strategy. There's a couple open board positions. But they know who we are, right, They know that me and a couple of their dads are fanatics and we, you know, believe in meritocracy, which is antifical to their communists idealism. So what we're doing is we're putting our

Gardens.

It's going to be great.

Can't wait, Dylan, anything to recap here?

I got hoes pretty good in college Betting against Indiana has been bad.

How about them Hoosiers? They're legit like they're getting their quarterback the Iowa under Yeah, that's a failed experiment.

I think this year you're really going to just boil it down to an experiment. It's a lifestyle.

I think it's I think it's an it's an experiment.

We'll see what I picked this week. All right, And but NFL went four and one, great, Bad Larry. It was pretty fucking great at the time.

Bad Larry, you have your college football picks to start off with, Yes.

I do.

I don't have the lines dance, so I'm just going to tell you the teams.

Oh my god, yeah, all right, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. We have to get him the lines because he pulls this every week.

Okay, So the last time we did this was last year, and I was like, all right, I'm sending Larry the lines, and I sent him pictures of every single game on college football and the NFL to his phone and he said it was too small and he couldn't read it. So then I sent him a link and he said he the linke didn't work, So now he just sends me pictures from the post and their circle.

So I have two days ago lines and if they change it, oh, I don't want to I don't want to go. I have Miami minus twenty and a half. You go, it's twenty one. So I'm just gonna say I have Miami Overduke.

Okay, it's twenty and a half and half partner, Okay.

I have Illinois getting three from Minnesota.

That is true, Okay.

I have Army minus twenty two and a half.

They Nope, that's like twenty one now, lar.

Well, Dan, give me the number.

I don't even have it on your sheet, Larry.

Uh oh, yeah, I don't think you sent me that.

You You don't even have it written down here, Larry?

Oh No, what Army circle minus twenty two and a half. I'm looking at the pay per circled up last night.

It must be I have the print out here. I have the print out of all the things you sent. You do not have Army on this piece of paper. What is Army's points? But is it twenty two?

Ray?

It's twenty two?

All right?

Good, we move on. What else?

I'll take Army plus minus twenty to Virginia's haacked minus four against Syracuse.

That is correct.

Michigan getting fourteen in a hook against art Ohoa.

That is true.

Clemson given ten and a half.

To Louisville you only have to give ten.

Thank you. And Texas A and m given two and a half to South Carolina.

That is true. You're good there, Shit, they are okay? Shake college football team. I'm going heavy today, Danny, which you ain't great. I got the Herbert Gnosiphiles against the my fighting Mullets, laying three. I got the Ducks laying fourteen against who gives a shit and a half? Fourteen and a half. No, yeah, he's a fourteen and a half now, Yeah it was for Larry.

Wait a minute, I thought we were different. I got Pitt plus seven against the Cocaine Cowboys and the fight in Franklin's plus three and a half. I've been circling this. This is it's been my mojo, Danny. I really wanted six because I thought that's what anyway, Maine OEU over forty three and a half, Nebby laying six and a half against the Bruins, South Cakilaki plus two and a half. Wave those shirts around, and then Navy laying ten and a half against Als.

Why is Maine playing?

Oh you, The fact that OU gets Maine in the middle of this SEC schedule is bananas. See, this is what I want to get rid of. That's what we thought would get rid of when we merge the fucking like this was supposed to stop.

If you do the top sixty schools or fifty schools, then you take this out of the equation. You just play each other like it's an NFL schedule.

Yes, wait, so what happens to Mercer?

Mercer is gonna have to all right, somebody outside of the top sixty Dylan College Football?

Please all right, Dan? Unlike Shay, I've got Ohio State minus three and a half. Coward for the white it's the White hour.

Oh it ain't. It's a noon game. It ain't. It ain't what I want it in the st Still be a white hope yeah, sure, it's not an official It ain't official.

With these two schools.

Can you imagine the price of cocaine and Happy Valley? I don't why why do you go there? What do you mean because I care about commerce?

Well, they're driving it from the white out is not what that's.

What we're talking.

Well, it just got in my head, so I thought about fun.

No, you don't do that stuff anymore. Remember, Remember even a man can dream. Dan, you told your wife we don't we don't party, don't she does? She sure does? Yes, bottles of why did you all go through? By the way, she got after a little bit.

How many bottles? Three bottles? Three bottles between the well, the three of you that ain't nothing, well really your wife and me.

And a half to be honest, Yeah, superd ain't chugging it down. Suit's not a drinker. And Molly will have a beer. She can cook. But uh, and then I had some tequila down there in the bar. You had some good tequila down there at the bar. You had some strong tequila tequila. Those cigars, Yes, it was a great cigar.

Never had a cigar like that. That was a great cigar.

Okay, Uh, Dyl, I'm taking Maine with the thirty four and a half.

Now I'm rooting for Maine now, yeah, being a resident of Maine, I'm rooting right home team. This is kind of my hometown.

And you know, they're beyond excited to get out of like the Also Oro is like up there, so it's probably freezing there already. They're pretty stoked to just take a little trip to Oklahoma.

Are they see a couple of meth labs and some cows.

That's kind of like northern Maine too. It feels like, oh, I.

Don't know if we need to throw a blanket on a region like that, but continue.

Well, that's small region. Michigan State. I don't know why I'm doing this money line against Indiana.

You don't believe in Indiana, No I do. But I'm back to back, back to back weeks.

I want to take Indiana, but I know the moment I do is when they finally lose a game. So I'm gonna take Michigan State straight up. And another product of the mind of Dylan Iowa, Wisconsin.

You're going to under again.

I can't. I have to do.

It double down, Like what are you doing?

Well, if I'd been doubling down the whole time. I'd be really fucked.

Not if you were quadrupling down.

You're already mineus seventeen and a half.

Well, you know what the end there's We've got plenty of time to make that.

All right, what's your next pick? I got I gotta keep Larry awake, all.

Right, Sorry, just sitting here listening down.

I'm fine.

I know.

I've also got Louisville and Clemson over sixty three and a half.

Okay.

Clemson is quietly good, kind of good. Snuck back into the national picture.

Yeah, since I got rid of DJU, they've been clawing their way bad.

Larry, your NFL picks, Okay, I might come back to the game tonight.

I don't.

I didn't have circled up, but the ones I got circled up. Commanders given three and a half to the Giants.

Uh, it's four, okay four.

Falcon's given two and a half to the Cowboys.

Three Brown three it's three mm.

Hmmm, Vegas wanta Scott my picks. Brown's getting two from the Chargers.

The Browns are getting one and a half.

Okay. Lion's just giving three and a half to the pay and I'm taking the Buccaneers getting the nine from the Chiefs.

You're getting eight and a half.

Okay, that's pretty normal. It's pretty normous. You know what, Dan, just give me the Jets tonight because I'm gonna be whoa. I might as well go a unit on them on the show.

Whoa. Okay, so you're given one and a half.

Okay, one and a half. I'm ray write that down so we don't have a problem next week, Jets. Right, Okay, you're my man. Do I have army? Because I know I circle it up and I got a picture of it.

So do you not remember three minutes ago, Laire.

I wrote it down for you, Larry. It's in there, but you didn't send it to me because he said twelve bets all one unit, and then I counted twelve bets all one unit and there's no army in there. But we're fine. You haven't now, Okay.

I'm gonna look at it when we get off the show, and you and I will talk on the side. They are right.

I can't wait.

I seriously gotta start drinking on this show. Yeah, we've offered you many episodes you should Why don't vicariously through you really, Yeah, I don't know. I did feel bad though, for you, because you kept like leaning closer to me when I was drinking my tequila. The wives coming down to the base, I know, I know, I thought I was gonna leave one to the side where it was kind of accidentally put there. But I was so worried, Like your wife is sharp, she knows what's going on.

She's way too smart, like I've been running game on her for twenty years, but she's she's fucking hiptops.

At any point, did you think this was a little bit of a trap situation where Dan's like, let's go down to the bar.

Well at all I thought it was finally get away from them. No, but I was cleaning up the dishes and he took it like I wanted him to leave.

Okay, all right, hold on to the people listening to the show. If you're at somebody's house having dinner and then all of a sudden he starts loading the dishwasher like a waitress at Perkins at eleven fifty nine pm, I mean, what do you what do you think? What's in your mind? Tell me? And how was my explanation? The explanation played, but the fact remains that you were doing dishes. I did dishes so then I could go downstairs and smoke a cigar. That's different, have some tequila.

But instead of going, I go down there, and then I gotta go back up and put away dishes.

But you don't.

I do.

I do. My wife cooked under. You should have put away the dishes. You should have as a guest. Yeah, that'd be That'd be rude. That'd be rude. You didn't even bring your plate over. I brought your gifts. I brought you all kinds of gifts, like, well, we brought you that Italian cake.

I don't want to say the right vernacular. You're not doing that, not after I've met your wife.

I respect him that. That's fantastic.

Get pizza, Danny, there's pizza all over this. Let's go, let's go to Peppies.

I don't know, do we There's like we're friends. I don't know we are.

I don't know we're besties.

Was there any merit to the whole dishwashing thing? Was right? Did you worry that like a little bit of a signal?

No? No, Because I knew that he wanted to go and smoke his cigar. He wanted to go down to the bar area. And then as soon as we get down there, vulties up and hits a grand slam. That's true, Yeah, and that was your fault. And then I got him a cigar and I had some tequila. Then the ladies came down started talking. Yeah, it started ruining the buzz and then uh yeah, so then.

We started talking about how much they love democracy and also the bullshit. I just sit there quietly like, yeah, I agree, voting is great.

Well, that's why you have to be like, hey, I have to go entertain our guests downstairs. The dishes similar that.

His wife is going to go where I am.

But was there any concerns of reciprocity in that department, like maybe your wife sees Shay, you know, the moxie, the two working shoulders.

She didn't say, man, he's got a lot of charisma. He's taller than I thought. No, she just said fatter.

She said he's fatter, matter than I thought, fat biker. That was to be fair, like I had the entire family in stitches several times.

You I will say that my daughter Molly was entertained by you. Yeah, Molly said, I think we could be bff's there, and I said, no, no.

Shay your NFL picks please, these are all winners, Danny. I got the Canadians laying six against the Cocaine Cowboys at the NFL. I got the Indians laying four against the Higantes and be the Commanders. Yeah, Pats plus three and a half against the Titans. I got Skull laying five against the richardson empty.

You're going to go against I'm laying all right.

I'm laying it, okay. And then the Broncos Ravens under forty six and a half, Danny, Okay.

Have you talked to Sammy P?

Yeah? We uh yeah, I texted with him.

Did he give you some No, I'm not taking that advice. Oh I thought Sammy.

P was, Danny.

He's a professional.

If you look at my record the last month, I've been pretty pretty good.

Hey you're up a unit and a half.

Yeah, you're killing it all right?

What right?

He was at one point down seven units, So he has worked his way back to be fair.

To be fair, I'll give you that as someone who needs to claw their way back down seventeen.

Here we go, Dylan, what do you have for me?

All right. I am also taking the Bills with the six against the Dolphins. It's in Buffalo. We know how that one ends. And the Ravens minus the nine against the Broncos. Broncos people are kind of getting high on the Broncos bandwagon and I'm still not much of a believer in the offense.

That defense is real.

The defense is real. Cardinals minus one and a half against the Bears, and I'm taking the Pack plus three and a half against the Lions, probably against my better judgment, but the visional matchup, I'll do it, and then I tonight, Dan, this is this is when I start clawing these units back. Dalton Schultz first TD scorer plus sixteen hundred Wow.

C J.

Stroud has limited people to throw the ball to at this point. And then I'm also going to add another bet for the night Texans alternate spread minus seven plus three hundred two units on that all right, I think this is I don't like that line is weird, as everyone knows. And I've been boned many times this year talking myself out of the Yeah, brother, I can't escape it, Dan, It's everybody. So I think this is a don't overthink

He's just wandering.

I do kind of feel bad.

We know what Aaron Rodgers needs. Jesus he does. He's been searching for a decade. Doesn't talk to his family, goes to Peru and people. Right, he just needs he needs the Lord. That's all. That's all I need. That'll help win, That'll help him start winning, start covering some fucking spreads at son of a Bitch.

I think I think he needs way more.

I think he needs a new girlfriend, like another famous girlfriend.

You think, yeah, I think he needs to talk to his mama, he needs to call his family whit. Sorry.

Usually I feel like the famous girlfriend correlates more to like a decrease in production because you're like distracted and stuff. But I feel like traditionally he's played better when he's dating, like what Olivia Munn and the other actress Patrick Danika Patrick for a while.

And.

Jaylon Woodley was when he was at his best.

Yeah, obviously, And of the three, she's number.

Three, number here's number one.

What do you mean of those three?

You think Shalen Woodley's number three out of those three, Olivia mun and Danica Patrick. Can you imagine having sex with Danica Patrick?

I mean I would tell everyone I knew about it.

Oh my god.

It would be like watching paint dry. There's no chance there's action there none.

Alrighty well, I'll wrap up another another edition into this bad Larry. I can't wait till next Friday. Yes, you know, depending on traffic, you know I'll be there, but uh, and I do make up for lost time pretty well.

What's the dress code? What's the dress code for the reception?

It's not quite black tie?

So that's the word. I hate that black literally, just say black tie, or say like nice clothes, because then you're just getting like, all right, well, am I going to be the only dick not in the tuxia there?

Yeah?

No, no, no, no, I might be the only dick. Everyone else will have a suit and tie on.

Yes.

Right.

Should we keep our journalistic integrity and be transparent about the futures bets for MLB this year?

No, cancel?

They were not good.

Cancel.

I can do a brief overview of it. You lost minus eight units still and you lost two?

All right, I'd be a chick.

Yeah, you did it.

Yeah, we all really hinging on the Mets.

Yeah, you had no baseball futures, Larry. You have college football and NFL. I still have those logged.

I didn't have over Mets over eighty and a half wins. Shade jumped on my bandwagon to get to make that bet.

That's true.

He did World Series, not eighty and a half wins.

Yeah, I did over eighty and a half. He did, Yeah he did.

Okay, Sorry, all right, Larry.

Thank you, Thank Shye. Thank you for sticking up with.

Buddy.

Larry.

It's actually nice to see you two getting along.

Okay, right, you guys have fun today.

So bad, Larry. I will talk to you next Thursday and then I'll see you next Friday.

You got him?

Man?

Thanks, that's bad. Larry. Joints is from the Jersey Shore Beautiful area, Spring Lake.

Are you going to wear a tux?

I didn't even know what the dress code.

Was, But now that now that I believe, I believe that.

No, I didn't know.

You're just like suit.

You ain't wear the tucks. I mean, that's his best friend and I can weigh in here. There's no chance.

He's wearing a to I'm gonna wear a tucks go.

Ahead, I ain't. I'm gonna wear something weird.

You're gonna wear like a fucking bolo tie and denim suit.

I should. I probably should wear a bolo tie. You got a bolow tie. I'm bringing a camera.

No, but I wear like ironic?

Yes? Yes? Right?

Does Larry cry at the water? Do you think?

No?

No?

You know no, he's pretty devoid of moment.

I might cry.

I might cry before Larry cries.

You're a crier. I am.

I'm the town crier.

He's gonna cry when the valet give him his key too.

We got a lot in common. Yeah, wow, I am a crier. I am. I cried this morning.

Because good movie, like a good movie.

Washing commercial. It's a pretty strong commercial.

It's an audi commercial or something.

It was a nostalgia commercial. Yeah, I was like, go back to the fifties and then what sorry, Marvin at the point.

Marvin didn't want to go back to the sixties or the seventies.

And got a big election coming up, that's all. Yeah.

Oh yeah. The political attack ads. I've just gotten addict with streaming. They just put play the same one four times.

In comos for them trunt for you.

That is a great line.

That is all right.

We've done enough damage and we want to thank you for your patients and listening to this and if you wade through whatever information they gave you, hopefully you can get some winners as well. We'll talk to you next week. And Dan Patrick takes a game.

Mm hmmmmmmm