Episode 128: Euro Pool

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, ano bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling. You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now joined by bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

Wait, did Larry just call in?

No nothing yet?

It's good, okay, all right. Last time we saw Sammy p he was banging the drum for a Kentucky to win March Madness, and we're having you back after that performance.

There To be fair, I didn't know we were facing Dan Patrick and his prime in Oakland. That get hit ten threes, Uncle Dan, and he's white. How does that happen?

Like?

How do you not guard that guy? And that was what you said at the time, You said you were worried about cal endgame and somehow after the fourth or fifth three, he still decided to not double the kid.

Well, I did say it to Caliparia a couple of weeks ago, and you know he made it sound like the guy was twenty six. I said, he's not. He's twenty four. But why didn't you guard him? It didn't take much. You'd probably still be coaching at Kentucky if he would have had somebody guard him. So let me give the full introduction. Sammy P. I guess you're doing big time things. You're co hosting a national daily betting show starting next week.

Yes, sir, I cannot spoil it though, unfortunately they told me not to shoot me, so I can't say.

What it is.

Okay, but it's breaking news. But we can't break the news.

You can break the news. It'll be the Odyssey Betting Show in the mornings.

Okay, former CBS Race make just making sure you're not competing with this show. Never Okay, Shay is here looking great? Dylan looking Dylan?

It looks great?

I do, yeah, I look great.

You know, it's easier to just play to his strengths and say he looks good instead of if I say he looks you know. I was listening to the country start Jamie Johnson.

Yeah, hell yeah.

Have you have you heard that the cost.

Of living high the yeah?

Oh yeah, brother, the cost of high living and as opposed to the cost of living high. Yeah, and I've been listening to that with the big German, and I said that sounds like that.

Could be you standing up all night with a mortgage do and a baby on the way. Absolutely yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so it reminded me of you.

Yesterday, I'm tooling around in Maine with the big German listening to country music.

I'm glad.

Yeah, of course. And I did talk to my wife about having you and your wife come.

Home for dinner up to Maine.

No, not to me.

No, somebody might not come back. Wow, yeah, how clearly you might want to stay.

Yeah, no, I'd get it. Probably because your next door neighbor's at Tucker. I'd probably hang out with him and do some sins.

Tucker Carlson.

Yeah, how close? Are y'all pretty close? Right? I have no idea.

I don't correspond with him too much anymore. I thought there was a zipline, some sort of no no zipline. Let me recap. Bad Larry is still up twenty two units. Now, when do we wipe all of this stuff clean?

Today? Yeah?

I think this is it? Yeah, I think opening kickoff of college football?

Okay, okay, all right, just Bad Larry lost three units last week, Shay, you're up two units. Dylan lost two units here down eleven and a half. And that leads us to college football weekend weekend zero, which I don't like that. I don't like zero either, but uh, week zero and we got college football coming up. Larry's not here to recap, although this did stand out to me. Team USA versus Serbia. The over under in the Olympics was one eighty six and a half. The final score

On that one?

I don't know.

I was pretty confident you Nelly Corda to win gold.

That was a soccer can.

Uh. And then Spain money line versus Germany Olympic handball.

You.

Uh, let's see what else you didn't do well in golf. You missed a couple. Yeah, so it looked like a typical Dylan weekend.

I but I had Serbia plus sixteen against the USA.

Well, congratulations.

I watched that game in Vegas with a guy who had Serbia money line and he had to get carted out of the pool. He got so drunk because he was Danny. He had the right side. I mean, Serbia is up the whole game. Yeah, and uh, that guy got you know, hotel carted out of the pool. He had a couple after Serbia melted away.

Been there and.

Shay, you weren't there in Vegas. No, but I've been there. I've been I've been walked out of the wind europool. The ones with the titties are out. I've been walked out of there, asked to leave.

Wait, they have a topless they have a titty pool.

He had any They call it a euro pool, but I'm Americans called a tittypool. There's titties everywhere and they're asking you to gamble. So I won't leave, and then I get belligerent. I got belligerent, but were like, you gotta go.

Wait.

So they called a European pool. Yeah, europool because you know the titties are out okay in the Europe. Yeah, Europe, they don't care about titties. America we do. But are they wearing speedos? Because they do love their speedos.

I didn't see a lot of dudes and speedos, but I wasn't looking a whole lot of Wasiste down.

Actually, if any in my eyes Europool, there'd be more dongs out than tess.

Experience.

Yeah, I bet your experience.

All right, all right, so that we turn our attention to I hope you still have your job, Sammy P. After they listen to this, that they won't be scared away.

I hope not.

Just sign the papers in the next hour, yes, yes, yes, sign it before this goes up.

On.

Dan Patrick was already saying, guys, oh good, oh good, Oh right, yeah, you say whatever we want, Sammy P. Moving up to the big time, going to the europe Pool. Yeah, whether it's speedo on. Give me your futures list here, give me your predictions football wise.

Yeah, I'll give you my two favorite NFL bets. Look, the Texans are the sexiest team right now in the betting space because everybody watched them last year. They score forty five in the playoff game.

CJ.

Stroud is great. He's going to the Hall of Fame and all that, and we all know the overreactions sometimes are too much. This team had the third easiest schedule last year. Now they have the seventh toughest. And here's a quick list of the quarterbacks they're going to face in the non division games. Josh Allen, Jordan Love, Aaron Rodgers, Jared Goff, Dak Prescott, Tua mahomes Lamar. Holy shit, that is a serious list of quarterbacks. So I bet them

For me, Okay, anything else, I got more, but.

I don't want to.

I mean, this is this is a gang show. I hear like everybody's got to talk, so I don't want to take up all the thunder. Kansas over eight and a half wins college.

Big time than Kansas over eight.

Kansas brings back starting quarterbacks, starting running back, three senior receivers, four offensive linemen their seniors, and that coach has won everywhere he's been. Whitewater good, Buffalo, Lance is awesome. And Kansas is going to go ten and two, eleven to one this year in the Big Twelve. Last year they played Oklahoma, Texas, Oklahoma State. This year they get Arizona State, Houston, and Colorado.

For got a good schedule.

Schedule sucks Kansas, Danny.

But you had the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl as well, don't.

You I do people go on a nice pick four eyes. Well, okay, you make that bet at six to one. The last five years I've made that bet and people will say, oh, you look Kansas City. They've won three Super Bowls, they've lost in one, and they're a seven point favorite against Burrow in the AFC Title Game. So that six to one bet puts you in a good spot because to me in my twenties, it was Brady Belichick and Gronk basically every year to the AFC Title Game. This is

It's like that likes betting on Scotti Scheffler. It's not very sexy, but it has a pretty good return on investment.

They're gonna are they gonna lose in the first round of the playoffs? No, So Kansas City six to one. I've made it five straight years and it's it's done pretty well.

Okay, So you're big on Kansas, love Kansas any other any other over unders uh with your college football teams?

Is Michigan gonna win ten, guys. I mean the win totals nine, so nine's a push.

I know.

I just saw the Harbor mannequin. Beautiful, glorious, but he's not there to save their bacon. And you know, usually they play Shay State and Marvu in September. This year they get USC and Texas and then they got to face Oregon in November. They're gonna get blown up by Ohio State. They're not winning nine, they're not winning ten. You know, nine's gonna push. But I'm under nine on Michigan. I think that's gonna be a weird year. And then if things go south early, what's the narrative. Oh, look,

Yeah.

Yeah, So that's that's gonna be a weird year there in ann Arbor.

Okay, I think that's not.

Many people probably are a ball state the over under, but Sammy p is.

Over three and a half. They went four and eight last year and lost three games by one score. They're going to start two to one and then they have basically seven coin flips in conference, so I think with eight starters back, and this is the crazy thing about smaller conferences, the MAC specifically, usually good MAC teams lose guys to Miami or Michigan State or Memphis, guys transfer or leave for the portal whatever. He brings back eight starters in the Mac, which is unheard of in twenty

Didn't they they lose their thousand yard rusher the previous season to UCLA.

Yes, they did, but they bring back eight other starters.

Dan, Okay, I know, I know this is about this season. I was just trying to give you my ball state knowledge there. I have nothing for this year, but I had something for two years ago. So it just me be desperate to be relevant. So sorry about that. I need four wins, that's all four, Give me four or wind they can do it. Heisman Trophy are you betting on that as well?

Yeah, Jackson Dart has a lot of measurables. I like last year thirty one hundred yards, you know, he had over thirty touchdowns. That team is going to score a shitload of points this year. I know a lot of people like them to, you know, maybe win the national championship. I'm not there because I think Lane has to prove it to me when he has high expectations. But there's a game November ninth. If I can call my shot here, Jackson Dart scores four touchdowns and ole Miss will beat

Is this is This is a tutorial on how to do this show. And I hope that the other guys are listening. Do a little research first of all, and you know, do some things that get some headlines here.

I feel like headlines aren't the issue, Danny.

Every time my breakdown a game, I lose by at least every time.

God and fading Fading Shae and Larry has probably netted me more units than me making a conscious decision myself.

There was a game during the season in college football and like Texas El Paso or something brutal, and Shae is breaking it down as if he's Kirk herb Street.

It was New Mexico State.

It was New Mexico State. Diego fucking Pavilla.

Yes, I remember, I actually thought I was I thought that was his middle name. After listening to you for a couple of weeks, I was like, is that really his middle name?

I rode that goddamn pony for like four weeks, and he fucked me every week.

I almost bet because you sounded and I haven't placed a bet since. Uh that the Orange Bowl, Arkansas and Oklahoma and when Lou Holtz was at Arkansas and I was like, man, Shaye is really giving me some information here. I'm I'll be able to pick up a couple of thousand dollars here.

No, Dan, how big of.

A dork would you feel like if you finally came back to betting and your first bat was riding Sha and it loses dramatic absolutely.

Not even riding riding New Mexico.

Yeah.

State.

One more quick nugget on the Heisman. Only one favorite has won in the last nine years, So if you're looking to bet, you know Dylan Gabriel or the quarterback at Georgia Carson beck Quinnon. Viewers, now yours has floated out a bit. He's like twelve fourteen to one, but we've seen guys like Lamar at fifty to one. Burrow was one hundred to one, So this is a market you kind of want to avoid the guys on the top line gamboard.

Okay, all right, that's Sammy p who's got a new promotion, a new job. Dylan firewok all right, Dan.

For week zero, I'm going Florida State and got Tech under fifty five and a half in jolly old Ireland. Under's alwayshit in Ireland. We all know that I'm basing that solely off of Notre Dame in Navy last year. But let's see, and I'm taking Florida State minus time a half against Georgia Tech. That honestly could be a low number. Georgia Tech thinks pure and simple.

Are you waiting for reaction after each one of your picks, because like you're pausing here. No, Dan, I'm a slow Okay, well you went to the university. No, you went to Denver.

Yeah, the Harvard of the West, thank you very much.

No, it's the Midwest, I guess. Okay, what else do you know?

Colorado is the west mountain, west, west coast, west, midwest east.

Right, it's in the mountains. I mean it's right in the middle mountain West.

Yeah, West, continue, Dylan, Hey, I got SMU Nevada over fifty six. Delaware State plus forty and a half against Hawaiian Oh baby, that's fat. And I thinks like, oh, they're gonna be so tired when they finished swimming to Hawaii or whatever. I think they're gonna be goddamn determined. They lose by.

Four, well, okay, but they're also playing a game that starts at midnight.

Their time time is irrelevant to them.

Now, Dan, it's a flat circle.

Danny, we all know that you really need them to score ten points.

Yeah.

If they can score ten points, they're gonna cover forty.

Yeah.

Why is that gonna put up like eighty points? I don't think so you need ten?

What else do you have? Deal?

Uh?

And I got New Mexico money line against Montana State plus three seventy. I think they're about eleven point dogs on the spread, and I got it. I have to kick the season off for the bank, Dan, I need a money line underdog.

Okay, I've the numbers.

The numbers are not.

Great, Okay, but this is at New Mexico. It is Yeah, so that could help you.

Yeah, the FCS FBS favorites are do not favor me. But I think they're due nine and three fcs when the three and a half point favorites are more.

Okay, anything else, Yep, I got.

A couple futures taking Clemson to make the College football Playoff plus one ninety, Iowa to make the playoff plus six hundred. Okay, that's my team.

Dan, Wow. Yeah, that the show is definitely back when Dylan is betting Iowa football.

That's literally the most excited I am for the college and NFL football season is Iowa wonders.

I'm actually gonna do a little survey this year.

I'm gonna start rolling over the Iowa under every week, so my winnings, I'm gonna dump it back in and see if we can go for like, you know, the ten hands of blackjack in a row strategy make probably a billion dollars I think, and then right off into the sunset.

All right, what else do you have?

I got LSU to make the playoff plus one twenty, and then I got a little conference championship parlay.

Your parlay's never win.

No in this one for sure won't.

But I have to.

But here it is, but I have.

To god damn.

Okay, yeah, okay, all right, here we Go.

I got Clemson to win the ACC Presno State to win the Mountain West, Oregon to win the Big Ten, and Oklahoma State to win the Big twelve. That plays out plus eighty five nine hundred and sixty two, so one hundred bucks. Win's the eighty five.

Grand okay right?

Oh?

Anything last, but not least in BMW Championship this weekend, sun Jay him top five plus six fifty.

That yeah, my bad.

If there's if there's a golf event and sun Jam is in it, you're going to take him to the magest at least he's until top five plus six fifty. Bad Larry didn't have any foot ball futures here. He had some baseball, Yes, yes, ray.

Or, I just got a call from bad Larry. He was driving and didn't see the phone call. But he's calling in right now. If we want to wait a couple of minutes, we can maybe maybe a minute. Marvin's calling him right now?

Why why is this day this phone call always is surprise to him?

Again?

I drove two and a half hours to be here on time.

Yeah, Sammy p came from Boston and Dan's in Maine and we all day to work.

But Larry does this all the time.

He's a busy man.

No he's not, but he's always surprised that we do this on Thursday, and then he never gets his picks in.

Dan, busy's a relative term, so like to Larry, he's like busier than the president.

Hello, Marvin is bad, Larry?

Larry, come on, my.

Daughter's in town. I want to raise early. I came home. I had fifteen minutes. I said, okay, sitting in my front porch waiting for the call, and he goes, oh, we should pull some weeds in the backyard. I'm now pulling waves. I have the phone in my pocket. I never hear a ring. I just did thirty minutes a yard work and I came back on the porch. I said, oh shit. So I called right and he said, I apologize. It was totally Uh, I'm just too busy, Dan, What can I tell you? I sent my picks in?

Did we yeah?

Did we do? Yeah?

Yeah, we've already started Friday morning.

It's it's Thursday, right, What are we talking Friday morning?

Yeah?

What are you doing?

Dylan?

I was trying to convince Larry's Friday morning.

I had a chance, for sure, yeah, yeah, it worked.

You want to do you want to give us your picks?

Uh?

Sammy p already went, Dylan went, and then uh you're going to go, and then uh we'll bring in Shay.

Okay. Of course I don't have him written down because I did him in bed this morning.

Oh my god, I know, I know. Hold on, hold on, why why did we call you up when I'm going to read your pics? Like I don't leave you.

I have a new nickname for Larry. Larry, your new nickname is the Alibi. It's just everything is just an alibi.

I think I took the pirates. I know I took you.

I'm going to tell you alleged took the pirates, Larry. I'm going to tell you what you took. Okay, you got the Pirates minus one forty five. Paul Schemes is pitching Cubs, Tigers over seven and a half runs, okay, over eight runs, Cleveland and the Yankees right a decade.

Yama ten I couldn't get his name close enough to spell where the phone would spell it for me, so I know it was like mas My Yumi or something. They prinket. I know team at Siamo. But I couldn't spell it, and then I did look. Yeah, I did look up. There's a y in that last name that I didn't have in there.

Yeah, that pesky y.

You fucked up his first name. All I do, say, Hideki top ten. We're going to know who you're talking about.

Yes, Rially true? Okay, A decide top ten? And did I get my my pro football I mean my college football over seasons?

And yeah, yeah I got it?

Okay, how many was Notre Dame? I didn't have, but my guy didn't have it? Over it is ten? Okay, then I definitely want it because I saw ten and a half in ten and I want to make sure I didn't say over ten and I changed in ten and a half. It's okay, Notre Dame over six for Rutgers and under ten and a half for Fenn State. Yes, perfect, I want okay, I want five units on the over Rutgers and I want three units on the Notre Dame

Bet, dude, we gotta go off Nemo, jeezus.

We gotta go. We gotta go fifteen and twenty to win.

Yeah, but did you see the game last night? Yeah, I'm on them today.

So I stayed away from. I looked at it, and I stayed away from. But I'm waiting to hear who you like?

Shy All right, Okay, here we go. Shae's got his futures here, so uh let's go.

Yeah.

College football, I see see Danny miszooand or nine and a half ain't repeating in that schedule looks like shit. Texas Tech the Raiders of West Texas over six and a half. I think they're going bowling Danny all day, seven wins. You gotta do it this year. UAB America's team over six and a half and then my heavy one, Danny, it's gonna be the Rainbow Warriors. I know it's not June, but I just want to celebrate Hawaii over five and a half wins.

It's going to be tough starting out for the lost to Delaware State.

Here we go, all right, Clemson to win the ACC. I got plus three twenty five there and per the advice of Sammy p UCLA under five and a half. After Sean Foster told America he doesn't know how to read or speak in public, I decided to fade his ass into the whole season.

Okay, you silly under five and a half.

And I got Harvard on San Marcus winning the SBC Danny and the Raging Cajun's under eight and a half wins.

Okay, did you mention Texas State to win the Sun Belt?

Yeah, Harvard to San Marcus, Danny.

Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't up on that.

That's Harvard on the like sixteen to one to make the playoff, by the way, too.

So I'm telling you it's sixteen to one for the G five. Right there, they go undefeated. They're in, They're in. They're fucking in.

Okay, now next week, so bad, Larry. We wipe away all your your pluses here you're up twenty two units, so it's all gone. This is a clean slate. We start now. This is the real season.

Okay, these baseball games to start now. I would rather start when football season starts. We're two weeks ago. I mean, the future best can be on that. But these Wednesday night or Thursday night baseball games are gonna count against our football.

Well, I was just going by what we were talking about here.

I don't think it's gonna count against it. It's that football units will be a.

Separate, separate thing. That's perfect.

Yeah, Danny, I forgot one thing.

Bell Terra Okay, Bell Terra, park Race six, got the two and the five exact to box hit two bucks.

When's that's the two and the five?

Post times not till three something? So get this fucking podcast out. I got free money hereo. We'll tear a park Raise six.

I'm jumping on it, by the way. Shot yea, I'm going to do.

That to two and the five hit it okay, two to five exactly exactly, box.

It exactly box Okay.

Also, Dan, the last twelve years I have tailed your Super Bowl exact the box and you've made me money three years, which might sound little, but those bets are like thirty forty fifty to one. I know you're going to do this on the big program, but have you thought about the matchup yet? Can we get a little taste maybe one of the two teams? No, okay, I thought I would try. I will bet what you say,

Well that's when and Dan happy Giants win and I said that I had called that. Yeah, I called on Letterman and he said, are you drunk? I go no.

No.

If they hadn't played the last regular season game against each other, then I never would have picked the Giants.

But they did.

They weren't afraid, and I thought, you know what, they can beat them so sometimes. And then I had Seattle against Denver when they met in the Super Bowl.

You did it three times, I think, which is very difficult. I mean those again, those are thirty forty fifty, sixty to one bets to get both teams before the season.

Really going against the grain. Not unlike a close neighbor of Danny's and Maine the name of Tucker Carlson.

Why are we giving a shout out to Tucker.

Carl 'all could be friends. I think it'd be great. I think, you know, I.

Don't need friends. I came up here to get away, so I don't have to have friends.

I think there's a trend of like radio and media personalities fleeing to Maine. There could be a support group y'all could get together, maybe new arts and crafts.

And one good friend.

It's pretty valuable.

Yeah, yes, I have one good friend. That's it, and that's a Cocker Carlson David Letter. Yeah yeah, all right, so that's it. Dan Patrick takes a gamble. We we wish Sammy p all the luck in the world. We always appreciate seeing him and getting his great insight and a big, big announcement coming up tomorrow about his future.

Yes, sir, thanks for having me.

Guys always thanks good luck. All right, So for Bad Larry, for Shay and Irving Dylan the graphics guy, Picture Day, Ray and Marvin, thanks for joining us. We'll talk to you next week on Dan Patrick takes a gamble.