Episode 123: No Job No Life

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat and now join my bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

Hey Larry, how are you okay?

Dan?

How are you doing, buddy?

I'm good, I'm good. I was having beers with one of your friends, John Nolan last night. We were talking about you, and we want to know when you're coming up again. And John Nolan said, you might be afraid to come up because the shape you were in the last time you came up, when you ran into the guys on the gambling podcast.

I doubt, I doubt. I'm afraid, Dan. I'm trying to think when can I come up there? The next month is pretty busy.

Here is no way, Larry. You don't have a schedule, you don't have a job, Your wife doesn't have a job. All you do is drive your wife and her sister around.

My wife retired last week. So this is we're just we're wrapping up the first week of her being here every day with me.

More reason for you to want to come up.

Yeah, way better, Way better than I expected it to be.

Oh that she's around all the time.

Yeah, she's not stressed out and having to get up to go to work. It's happy hour.

Larry, it's been a week, doesn't Doesn't do you think she has to start drinking earlier just to be around you.

She never had a problem with that.

Stand Yeah, me neither.

What does she drink, Larry, while you're drinking bud?

She You only want to know every season she changes. Right now, she's mixing guinness and lining Coogle summer shanties. What s you should see? The looks I get from the bartend is when I order them. It's unbelievable. Well, it takes like asphalt to me.

I don't.

I thought you were going to say something else.

I couldn't drink a Guinness on a bet, it's just horrible. She likes it, but she wants to mix it with some kind of fruity ship.

So wait, when we went to Ireland, you didn't have guinness any of those nights.

Never wow when we do when we went, when we went, I had Budweiser every night. The first time I went on the golf trip. Before that, I drank Smittics over there was the only one I could college.

Cost in Ireland versus against it's like getting like an I p a, Yeah, what's is there a different? It's got to be right.

My daughter and her fiance drink Corona down here and they're like eight dollars a bottle. It's an import. They couldn't give that away twenty years.

Ago, and they told the staff was gonna help it.

Fucking bullshit.

Uh try.

Speaking of drinking, Mike Gundhy, the Oklahoma state head coach, he said that he is driven drunk one thousand times after his star running back Ali Gordon got a dui. You know sometimes when these coaches say things locally like it plays well locally in Oklahoma, yeah, yes, yeah, yes, outside of Oklahoma, it doesn't play well at all. Here's Oli Gordon. He rushed for seventeen hundred yards I think

Oh yeah, he's bouncy.

Yeah, have fun of Southwest Oklahoma State. Now, yes, yes, I will say I'm a defender of the mullet. I think he's a lot smarter than people accuse him of. This is a masterclass in misdirection. We are all talking about a drunk driving man with a bullet as opposed to the college kid who got pulled over for a DdO. That's all we're doing. So this is a bait and switch. Yeah, and Oklahoma has three two beers, so you could have like twelve of those in drive and be fine.

Well, and he blew, didn't he blow? Like point one? So like it was very close to the limit.

But we're talking about Gundhy, not him.

Oh yeah, well okay, So and you've done this before where you've done something stupid and you probably blame somebody else to then deflect.

Yeah. Usually my kids I just put the blame on them for.

Drunk driving for everything.

Well, why do you think I was drinking? You get the roommate thinking about did you see she was up later that she should have been talking back to us all this shit.

Well, I have been around your youngest and I might start drinking early too.

He's crazy.

He is crazy.

All right?

Let me recap here because Shay said he killed it. He won three units. That was two weeks ago, and now you're at minus one and a half.

The dominated soccer Danny. I've just I've got the insight. I know what I'm talking about.

Okay, Well we'll get to that. Dylan. Your minus twenty six and a half. Yeah, but you won two units.

Kind of forgot about that number actually, and then I saw it today and I was like.

Bad, Larry is up twenty six and a half units part of this show? How great is that?

Larry's a fifty two units ahead of me?

Do you guys know I saw the NBA Rookie of the Year aunt and this has to be an overreaction to a summer league game. You know who the favorite is to win the Rookie of the Year in the NBA. No, just take a guess, and you probably can't guess. I'm not Bronnie James. Yeah, but you probably can't guess because you can't name more than what three players who went in the draft. Zach Edy of Purdue odds on favorite.

He was like a don't draft guy too.

Yeah, but he went. He went to Memphis. He's a lottery pick. But he had a big night the other night. Paulie was all in on Zach Aedy. These guys got him at fourteen points nine rebounds. Like, just throwing it out there, anything to recap Bad Larry, since you're up considerably over everybody else.

I just want to point out I think I'm up fifty three units on Dylan. Right, he's down twenty six and a half and I'm up twenty six hours.

Shut up, right, He's.

Right, he's right coming out of me with math the Harvard of the Midwest. Yeah, I don't even remember who we bet on.

Colorado's not in the Midwest.

It's the Mountain West. Yeah, Spain and Italy under two and a half goals and Shay is this was your call?

Yep.

And then bad Larry jumped on that. Just didn't he get credit for this ray That Bad Larry had that pick as well.

I didn't give it to bad Larry, Now.

Oh good, okay, but but Shay broke this down and you hit it right on the head.

Yeah. Yeah. The father of Mexico versus the European Mexico. They didn't want to compete against each other.

Here we go, okay, anything else that needs to be mentioned. This was when the Travelers was going on and Sun Jay m top ten for Dylan, congratulations, finally you lost every other bet.

Damn, let's not let's not get buried.

Oh no, no, no, you got Lewis Hamilton podium finish. He ended up winning one.

Yeah, and actually that is like kind of a no brainer bet. It's like if he was to win one race, it would be the one in England.

Let me see anything else, Shay, you didn't do too bad. You missed a base one, baseball one. You're hanging in there.

That's the most green true.

Yeah. Yeah. So this week we start with Larry. Larry, we have the Scottish Open first round going on.

Right, I haven't checked that yet, but I sent that in last night on Hadeki Top twenty, top ten and top five. The same guy who gave me that, Neil Shipley Low amateur. A couple of weeks ago. He said take them thirty two to one to win it all. But I chickened out on that. So I went one unit top twenty, one unit, top ten, one unit top five on Hideki Massiamu and I have go ahead.

Well, I have the odds to win the Scottish Open. It's Rory. Then it's Xanders Shaffley, Ludwig Oberg Hobert, and then it's Colin Moorekawa and then Victor Hovelin. So no Hadeki Matsuyama. So all right, Matt Suyama, Suyama Baseball, you got a few of them in here.

Four games my mets. Of course, I got to bet them against the Nationals, the Reds against the Rockies, the Philly against the Dodgers, and I'm going to take the Braves at the Diamondbacks. I don't know why I threw that one in there, but Max, that's why. Right right, there's somebody calling in never mind, So those one unit, where are you now? At my house? I'm going to meet ames a boy at Raised in twenty minutes. This is Jimmy Carmody calling and you, I don't know if you know him.

Damn.

Another friend of mine probably wants to bet something, Dan.

Do you know him?

Is this the like the Princeton guys.

Oh, it's it's Philly Carmody's brother. Yes, okay, but not Harmony the guy mine, just little older them.

Whenever you're with Larry down in his hometown, he makes it seem like you remember everybody. He'll just bring up somebody's name. You remember Tommy, I'll go, I don't remember Tommy. Tommy and and you got you know, Jimmy, and then Mike. No, I don't remember them.

So that this is what he does. Now.

I thought I told you about the this Carmody. All right, what else do you have here?

Okay? So you got my brains over the Diamondbacks, then I want my petere A Lonzo went home run Derby again. I will not be betting that, but I'll take one year on a shell.

Okay, I can't bet.

I can't bet the Derby.

Okay, Shay, yeah, Danny, right, Uh Wimbledon, that's tennis.

Are you losing weight?

Yeah? I think so.

You look a little self. Yeah, you do.

Quit drinking. You're drinking two thousand calories a day, Danny. It's pretty easy to lose weight. Yeah, okay, yeah right, Yeah. How's your wife the roommate, Yeah, well, not great for me. She's doing fucking fantastic. She's in the Berkshires now with the kids. Oh, she's just fucking pinging me with Zillow. Listing is over and over. But you're you're on scholarship here. Yeah. She wants to get a house in the Berkshers.

Yeah, but are you going out tonight or oh hell no, Danny, No, absolutely not this afternoon.

Listen, here's a problem.

I'm supposed to be in the Berkshers tomorrow, so I got to take off in the morning. So I know me and I know if I start drinking now or this morning, then I'm gonna pick up some refreshments from a good guy I know in Bridgeport, and I'll be up for the next day in the drive. And then i'll show up in the roommate and I'll be scatterbrained and she'll be like, do you want to eat lunch? Like, I can't eat anything. It'll have to force down food. It's the worst.

Just tell her you're taking a zempic.

Yeah, that'll work.

Actually, I was like the fattest crackhead you've ever met. Because I'd be up for three days and then I would eat for three days. It was just a vicious do.

The Michael Phelps daily for three days afterwards.

Yeah, no problem, no problem.

Okay, but you look like you're losing a little wind.

Yeah I am, Danny. It's a drinking. I ain't drinking no more. Here we go, okay, So, uh, what do you have for me? Because I'm not drinking and I'm gambling my face off. So I got about fifteen bets today because the only joy I have in life anymore. Uh, Tennis, I got the Russian Medvedev. Baseball got the Communists plus one hundred, raised plus one hundred and white flight Lane one twenty against Arizona with Larry Wait.

So the Blue Jays are the Communists.

Yes, it's Canada, Danny.

I love Canada. Yeah.

Well you're probably a comedy well commie adjacent, that's for sure.

Well then sign me up. Oh god, I love Canada.

I'm going there in November, to Toronto.

Oh that's great. Say that, and then you're going to go through customs and then they're going to go, oh okay, hi, comrade, my comrade, I don't step beside here.

Yeah, yeah, if you have had a couple of duies. I don't think they'll let yet.

I don't have any deweies. I never got caught. I'm like, Gundy can't catch me. Okay.

So you got Blue Jays and you got the Rays.

Yeah. And then White Flight lane one twenty at Arizona and that's Atlanta. Yep. Then went to Cobb County. Left the they did. They ran from Atlanta. They went to Cobb County. Sons of bitches, they Escapedmack.

It's true.

It took all that tax revenue. Basters could have built downtown easily. Fucking bums on DP.

Sorry hold on, not to cut you off, but Turner Field was open for like twenty years and then they left.

Wasn't it the Olympic Stadium, So.

It's not that old.

It felt like they left in the middle of the night. Yes, you know, like the Baltimore Colts. Yes, we're not leaving.

Vote in Cobb County. It's bullshit.

And White Flight going out to Alfaretta far When I lived in Atlanta, if somebody lived in Alpharetta, they had horses, they were Alga not anymore. Oh man, it is that is beautiful out there in Alfaretta. Okay, golf, uh yeah ev r that's Eric van Ruin.

Ryan to win plus nine thousand. Min wo Lee. This is my sneaky love pick here. I just love the name. Was playing pretty good goal plus three thousand. Wyndham Clark plus five thousand, and then soccer Danny, I got the Imperialists to beat Spain plus two thirty five.

Colonizing is back. I got a couple of pies to the face. I bet on this because I thought Brownie might go first round, and I gave the dan Nets a chance to bet. They all four pies, isn't it each Dannet? And so Paulie said, if England I can, I can take two pies on Friday and I can hedge my bet that if England wins, then that's it, that my bet is settled. But if not, then I have to take four pies on Monday. So I've got England. I got something at stake at the time.

Skin in there.

Yeah now I'm back gambling, Yeah, gambling pies finally, Yeah, you got a home run Derby.

Oh god, Danny, I'm not even close to done. Ti Oscar plus twelve hundred. Marcelo Zooma plus four twenty five, and then the Golden Shot Old Gunner plus five point fifty. And then I got a parlay for the ladies. I got nothing to do, Danny h Liberty Fever in Minnesota plus four ninety eight. It's a parlay, Danny money. When parlay hit it, I might even stop over tonight. You should. I got it. I'm cooking, Oh, Boys Club, I'm cooking. Yeah, yeah, I'm making salsa, make of my own chips, and I'm

All right. Well, if anybody with Athletic brew Company that wants to sponsor, saying, I don't know if they want to have their name attention, you might not.

You might don't drink losing weight?

What the fuck?

You're more of an insure guy, I think.

But what happens when you start drinking again, Well, then we'll know that Athletic Brewery doesn't really work.

No, it work because I'm methadone yea to me, it tastes like real beer.

It's your shit does all right, Dylan.

Here we go, all right for my home run derby. Bet I got Gunner Henderson as well. Plus five hundred. I'm taking the brew Crew today against the Pirates straight up, plus one hundred.

Okay, here's the problem. Paul Skeens is on the show tomorrow. Oh he's like, he's like, that was almost I know, Todd does this. Fritzy has a terrible track record of getting somebody on the day before they're going to be on. And Paul Skeens is five and oh this season, yeah, he's erased two point one two. The over understrike counts seven and a half.

Like this, think of that, Like this is just it's there, It's there for the taking. You know, something has to go south.

I know, I know, because Fritzy booked.

That's the mush of all mush.

He is a mush.

Okay, Wimbledon, you got anything?

Yeah, I got a parlay for the semifinals. Carlos alcarezm money line and Djokovic money line minus two fifteen and two units on that. That's I mean, that's got to be basically a gimme right, the two of them are in the final.

Yeah, sounds like an upset's coming. What else?

And then the Copa America I've got I'm taking a draw in the Canada Uruguay game. Okay plus three twenty and then Argentina money line against Colombia plus one twenty five.

That's it.

That's it for me.

Then that's it.

I'm being smart this week.

M all right.

So Shane Irving Podcasts, Yeah, I'm recording tonight, Danny ooh, yeah, you're talking about Oh I don't know why we don't talk about it on this show besides fear, but the political market right now?

Yeah, Oh, it's on fire, Danny. Who's dropping out, who's stepping up, who's getting arrested? It's all kinds of shit we can bet on.

Well, who is going to be Trump's vice president?

That is a fantastic question. I have money on JD. Vance and Younkin out of Virginia, one of the most prolific fundraisers in political history.

All right, who is going to be the Democratic nomination?

See this is where I put early money on Big Gretch out of Michigan a long time ago.

Yeah, you're right.

My mom's on the big gretch.

I'm on the big I mean, that's smart money for me. That was a long time ago gretch over Kamela. Oh yeah, but I think Camel is going to get it. I think it's just an easy transfer of funds from the campaign.

Gavin Newsome vice president.

No, he would never take that. Do you think he would accept that?

He would just wait and then his former girlfriend or former wife is Jill Foyle or whatever the hell Gil Foyle is Don jus girlfriend.

They talk about bisexuality, but they don't talk about this kind of I mean, oh my politically, my politically, I mean she was a hardcore Democrat.

She was married a Gaven Newsom fuck yeah.

Yeah, they never pro created. Yeah yeah, but now she's Don Junior's fiance.

Fonce or something. He left his family. He had four kids in shocking development.

So Shay and Irving, wherever you get your podcast, For the entire staff that makes this program, I got to blame somebody. So you got Ray, the producer, Marvin is here running the equipment. You've got Dylan, you've got Shay, and you've got bad Larry. Thanks for joining us. Have a spectacular sporting weekend and we'll talk to you next week.