Episode 122: Solidarity Dog

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now join my bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick Rick.

You're Jewish at my mom's side is huh so yeah technically yeah, so.

You can't get buried because you have tattoos. Yeah okay, and then the other half is Irish. Yeah, but after I mean you could hide them, and then you could get buried. No week from god, Danny, oh my best, you'll burn Okay. I thought you were talking about just everybody watching this.

Okay, I can hide from them.

Okay. Hey Larry, Oh, Dan, hi doing Hello? What's up? Everything's great? In case you didn't know, Larry, since you're not here with us, we have Dylan. He couldn't get into the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest, so we brought the hot dog eating contest to Dylan. I have Yeah, so he's gonna see how many hot dogs he can eat in ten minutes during the show. Yeah, yeah, in a little while. Do we get to talk to him while he does it? Yeah? Oh this is great.

So a slight handicap, but we set the line at ten and a half.

Ten and a half hot dogs. We gotta money on it. In ten minutes, I think he can hit that.

Yeah, I'm going over that all though. Over one a minute, Dylan, one a minute, Come on, you got that easy?

Well, Larry Shane and I were talking earlier, and if you could have brought a little of your famed xanax up here, I could do this in fucking thirty seconds, no problem.

I am traveling with my sister in law and my wife and my water bridge right now.

How are you going north?

I'm I am north, I'm I'm in playing field at some bridal shot up, getting wedding dress alterations back in.

The car now.

Absolutely horrible.

You have the worst life, you do.

I thought I thought today was Wednesday.

By the way, why are you at a wedding shop? Why are you Your daughter's getting married right correct? Why are you there?

Someone had to drive my wife and my sister in law here.

Your wife should be the one there. What are you doing? No, No, they wouldn't have been able to make it. No, No, Larry has nothing going on in his life. I'd rather eat all these This is one of those where this is where you go, Hey, can I tag along with you? Guys? That's what this is. There is no way they go. Larry, we can't drive. You were like, don't leave me home alone?

Exactly something, it would be home alone.

No, what do you do? You don't have anything going on.

I don't think you could be alone with your thoughts.

I think anything is better than what I've been through already this morning.

You're right, you love you love the fabric or what.

I had to pick her up at Metro Park and then come up on Route twenty four somewhere and I don't know where. The zero chance my wife and my sister in law could have made it.

If my father in law showed up to the roommate's wedding fit, I'd be asking a whole lot of questions, like a lot Okay, it's.

My daughter, though, it's my daughter, the father in law, it's my daughter.

I know if the roommate's dad, my father in law showed up to his daughter's dress fitting for a fucking bridal dress. I'd be asking a lot of questions.

What if he did like a little twirl when he walked right?

Do you bring like rose scented petals? And you'd throw on the floor. What the fuck are you doing there, Larry?

I'm willing to bet your father was with your roommate when she picked out her wedding.

Why the fuck would my dad be with my roommate.

Oh, now you mean his his wife's dad, father in law.

My father in law was nowhere near the wedding shop, I swear to christ and so same with his dad. No way, they would never show up. Okay, we have a packed house here. We have Marvin who's running the controls. Mario is in here doing social media. Apparently we have Picture Da Ray producer Ray Pa Ray.

I'll tell you.

When who are you talking to?

He just came out to get the receipt from me. I'm sitting in the car because I don't know what they need to received for, but they needed it. My sister in law I was talking to.

Okay, and then we have Shan irving here, and then we have Dylan. Dylan is getting ready. We'll start the clock here, any final words that you would like to say before we put you on the clock for ten minutes? See how many hot dogs you can eat?

I really appreciate you guys making me do this.

Okay, well you want to be a competitive eater and you Paully just put his head in see wins to see how disgusting this this look.

It's already I haven't even eaten one yet, and it's goddamn disgusting.

You love this ship. I had a dog this today about thirty minutes ago, just a show of support.

Solidarity dog.

Yes, solidarity dog.

You're I think you're the only one who did that.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that ship.

Yeah.

Now you've eat a hot dog like every day you've been here.

Yeah, yeah, I have one.

I love the dogs here. They're great dogs. But like, not when you're doing this whole theatrical.

Well, you're not gonna like hot dogs to watch. I can't watch the Nathan's It's.

Just it's pretty revolting.

Should be.

I'm gonna try just going like classic that dog in the bun Wow.

Yeah you have to what if you dip the dog in the white claw? Well, I have some beer here and that what kind.

Of beer is that?

Of course?

Light light beer? All right, yeah, you're not like an I p a stout. Okay, okay, let me recap here. First of all, So, Shay, you won sixteen units last week.

America baby, beating the hell out of Rory McElroy.

So you're you're still down four and a half units. That's nothing, Danny, No, I know, Dylan, you are minus twenty six and a half units. You lost six and a half units.

Yeah, I mean that was probably the worst week of golf bad beats I've ever had.

Yes, pretty bad someday Yeah bad. Larry was good, Larry, he won fifteen units. He's up twenty plus twenty six and a half. The futures came home, Larry, I'm listening.

I thought I was twenty some units. Then I don't know what. Okay, actually twelve, seventeen, eighteen, ninetyeh, like nineteen and a half or twenty units. Give me the Boston Celtic five unit win.

Yet it was minus two hundred. Also, you do this every single time. You forget the bets that you lose, and you just think you go ten for ten, but you lost Tony Feen now top American Tony Fee now to lead round one and tire Woods to make the cut.

Correct, Yeah, I won twelve. I won, did not win twelve units?

Five, six, seven, eight nine. I got you winning ten units here. That includes the five for the Celtics winning the finals.

What about the twelve for Neil Shipley being a low amateur.

You got that.

Well? I was twelve and five is seventeen? I know.

Losing bets, yeah, minus losing bets.

Plus plus one forty on scene now to beat DECKI match. I don't have him in front of me. I'm just trying to remember what I bet.

Legard to every bad game I love.

I lost Tiger Woods week.

Larry happens.

You should be fucking banned from here for texting me at three in the afternoon on Friday congratulating me on Scotty.

That it was a great bet.

Oh my, that's you.

Don't do that before the bet is actually finished.

Zero's on the clock, Larry.

That was terrible.

Actually, Mario's in here right now. He's done that to me before.

Yes, he has, he did that, mushy, Larry, Yeah, terrible, Okay.

I didn't have the bet I wanted your bet to lose, Dylan, I hope you get.

Charged double at the wedding dress store.

I already, it's already paid for. Okay, Okay, I can't have anything else onto it.

Okay, I'm gonna put Dylan on the clock. He's got ten minutes, the over under is ten and a half hot dogs, and he still has to do the gambling podcast as well. Dylan, are you ready?

I'm ready?

Dan? All right in three two one go? Okay. So Dylan had a tough week at the US Open. All but Willie Mack. Willie Mack played well in the first round, right Dyl.

He was he was two under and then faltered a little bit.

Yeah, Rory blew your chances of winning by hit you know, a playoff bet, and then you almost had Scheffler missing the cut and it moved at the last minute.

That was crazy. That was a lot of units. That was awesome.

Okay, So recapping Larry, you did really well. Nothing else to highlight here, Shay, good thing you had Bryson to win.

Come on, Danny, that was a great tournament. Yeah, amazing TV.

He lost all the other ones. Yeah whatever, because Scotty Scheffler fucked me in the corn hole. Why Why? Because I'm an attractive man, Danny.

But the one time I really put him in a bunch of parlays, he just screwed me. So that didn't help at all.

Yeah, you had him with him and Colin Morikawa, had Scotty with Justin Thomas and Bryson d Shamba. You probably thought that is a given. Yeah, love that bat like that. One can't go wrong. That's a wrap. Yeah. Uh. Let's see what else did you have with baseball? You did well? Finally, Yeah, Dylan didn't do too well. Let's see with the NBA. With golf, you had Scheffler, McElroy and Shoftley, the big guns against the field.

That's a great bet.

It was until it wasn't.

No, no, that one hit, that one hits.

I had the feel oh that one? Uh did that? Oh? Yeah? Okay, okay. And then you had Celtics money line versus MAVs. Uh cricket you missed that one with Team USA versus one dog down. Let's just one one two dogs down? All right, who's got the timer? Where we at?

It's right there, I got it right now, he's just under two minutes.

Right now, he's off the mustard.

I want the mustard.

Why didn't you put the mustard on before.

I put it on too?

Because you're wasting time.

Let me I have a strategy.

Okay, so bets this week? Uh Shay will start with you. Wait, I don't have anything for bad Larry? Here? Did you not send him in, Larry?

I sent it to baseball best? I thought today was Wednesday? Man?

So Larry, Larry, what time do we usually start this podcast?

Twelve?

When did you send me your picks?

Twelve o five?

How the fuck is this my fault?

No, that's not your fault at all.

Okay, I have two big ball that.

First of all, you thought it was Wednesday. Second of all, you send it at four minutes before we're going to do this, right, I mean that you should lose.

I can take the plane. Damn. What's my total right now? I just want to know that here we go. Just give me what it is. I was up like double digit units last week and I won at least.

Doublet plus twenty six and a half.

Okay, I just want to remember that for next week.

Okay. Did we want to remind you what you did during the NFL season?

Yeah? The season was great. I was leading going into the playoffs, and all I did was I short at Kansas City.

I'll live with that again again, Okay, I'll live.

With That's not that big a deal. I've been yelling I want I want one unit on under ten and a half hot dogs, And you guys don't hear me.

You set over you, you said over with me?

What the fuck?

Player?

And I've been yelling and yelling and yelling when I heard he wasn't going to be dipping it in water. Can't eat it ten hot dogs without dipping the buns.

Got right, Dylan?

Whoa?

I'll take you up on that. I'll put fifty bucks that he goes over eight.

No, No, it's one unit. We're betting units here.

I'm not a part of the show.

Got it, Grow up?

What are we doing spending.

One thousand dollars on a dress? But you can't pay fifty bucks for over eight hot dogs? Probably?

I don't know what he's at. I'm not watching him. No, I don't want any monetary bed. I just got. I got all these units. I gotta throw away. I want one unit on under ten and half and one unit on under eight.

What odds were getting?

You can and you can just tell me, and you can.

Well, you never know. That's the problem. We always have to tell you. I'm in okay, you know what, Larry, you know I'm getting fucking pissed off about this, Okay, Like every week there's a problem. There's a math problem, there is procedural problems. Why you don't have anything to do? You own And all of a sudden, then I.

Totally understand that. I thought we were going to take a break after the basketball.

We're taking a break. Oh my god.

What are we betting on today?

The baseball games, there's the Travelers Championship, golf, there's hockey, white soccer in Cornwall? Did he not.

Ten miles from your guy's house? Why are you guys?

I went on a run.

No, no, no, that's the problem. Shay went to the golf tournament last year and disappeared.

I was locked in one of those fancy porta potties, like the really nice ones with clean.

Just fucking rail. I wouldn't lay. They're like, what are you doing there? I was busy.

I'm sure you're the only one of the Travelers doing that.

I was busy in there.

Yeah.

Then two days later, the roommate was like, you got it kicked out of the house up ship.

I know we're the best bathroom.

You could have lived in that it's very clean. If she said I'm kicking you out of the house, you'd be like, all right, I know what I'm mistake. I'm on the run on the weekend. All right, so bad, Larry. What are your picks? Then? Today? So there is golf, Formula one, baseball, hockey, soccer, soccer.

Dan, I sent him to baseball bets. I got the Yankees, and I got.

I can't even remember whoever playing the White Sox against the White Sox, White Sox one last night. They're not going to be white against the I got the Astros and I got the Yankees. Feeling good luck on you, hot dog Dan, Dan, I'm getting waved.

Back into this fricking CEng same could tour. I'm getting called back into the store. I got to jump off.

Oh my god, okay wait guys, yeah, yeh see goodbye. Why Why don't I do quiet? Why do I do this?

I just don't understand him being at his daughter's dress fitting. I've never heard of that.

No, here's what's going on. His wife and her sister were going to go yeah, and Larry was going to be alone house. So Larry made it seem like they needed him to drive them, as if they haven't driven a car to what woman wants to day, Like, why would you.

Larry as your chauffeur?

You don't want you got married daughters, right, No, they're not married yet. Oh yeah, but you don't. Larry doesn't have anything going on in his life. He doesn't work and probably too early to go to Atlantic City to gamble, and he doesn't drink until the afternoon. He doesn't have anything to do. He doesn't play golf. He didn't go into the wedding. We're going to the wedding.

I'm going for sure, I'm crashing that wedding.

Yes, right now that Larry's off. That has been discussed. I know he doesn't listen back to the podcast or say space. We have discussed crashing his wedding. We know exactly where it is.

Too, well, I know his daughter. We'll bring it and I might be invited.

You're gonna go, oh yeah, you would go yeah, all right, well then you could get us in.

Yeah all right, it's plus threeze right, Yeah, we'll bring a gift.

Yeah, Uh, here's your gift right there? Baby. Yeah, Hello, let's dance.

Yeah, where's the bathroom in this motherfucker?

Oh? Minus, we dance clean countertop? How about you cut in on the first dance Larry dancing of his daughter. You're like Larry, I'll take over for here. Okay, Uh, I'll get to uh Dylan, let me.

Do Shay douchea oh man?

Did people say that? No?

Okay, they didn't call you douche sha no more like whatever rhymes was shay. You know, Texas is not known for his educational system. So the kids that grew up with pretty stupid.

What about you?

I'm real smart, you can tell from my wonder lick. All right, I got baseball, Danny, Okay, I got the o's going anty Larry here plus one twenty four, best team in the Midwest, Cardinals laying one, O four second best team case minus one forty six, Seattle Cleveland under eight. And then I'll Danny, I'm betting soccer. Oh, I got I got a concept behind this show. Great, think about this great? Okay, So Spain, let me brak this down. You should everybody should pause it. Get a pen.

Eight minutes in almost nine minutes in how many dogs? Six?

Yes, he's got minute five left here, yeah, Paul Larry, Yeah, dipping them in the beer right now.

That's what I said, take the under damn it. Yeah.

Uh so in Europe, Danny, there's a bunch of different countries, right, but they all live on the same continent. So Spain conquered Mexico and that's why they speak Spanish. Italy is the Mexico of Europe. So the two of them together are going to not want to compete against each other. That's why I'm taking the under two and a half goals book it right, and then I got thirty seconds to go for dyling auber hovelin top ten. That's the area in connection plus one fifty.

Eight over what oh Victor Hobblin Ludwig Ludwig abbook ober ober a book. Okay, no it's not abu. Yeah, take a chance on me.

And we are seconds. Come on, come on, can you gotta finish that last one?

Shove it in your mind.

Too.

It's like, uh seven and a half.

So what's the total count here? We have what sixteen hot dogs on the plate?

No, there's a doesn't I had six in a bite.

Okay, man, that's fucking You're not ready for Joey destroy you Joey Joey's Chestnuts and Bears America.

Oh really you're on?

No, No, I'm good.

We would do like a I would do like a uh taco eating contest.

Hot dogs though.

Yeah, hot dogs, man, I would do a brot eating contest.

We have more than six left with the we have broughts to motherfucker.

Okay, got real brons?

Like from where Johnsonville? Have you ever been?

Johnsonville, Wisconsin? Uh? No, like Tennessee. Yeah, Johnsonville, Bronson, Tennessee.

Is it's got to be somethe in that region.

Well, maybe we do tacos, tacos vegetasas it is.

Honestly, the reality is, and it is unfortunate. You do have to dunk the bunch.

Just purely like wantons, like dumpling. I would do wantons pork only pork, no shrimp. Well you can't do either one.

Yeah, you could pick your you can pick your your Yes, don't have the.

Way that out because that knowing him, he'd pick like some light.

Okay, all right, dumplings, tacos. Yeah, it's cold, it's cold, too tacos. No, you go tacou.

Or Copenhagen like full horseshoes. What happens?

Okay, I get I'll go to to tell within the Copenhagen gun.

Are you ready?

Yeah?

You gotta give me your picks this week.

I forgot about that.

Yeah all right, damn so that you already lost one bet here with your hot dogs? Yeah, failed miserably.

I tried, though you did.

Yeah, I saw it.

It's a shitty thing. It's not fun.

No, it's terrible.

You're gonna eat dinner tonight? That's the question they feel.

I've had ate candy for breakfast.

Oh my god, dude, you're trying to die.

I'm trying to live, all right.

Travelers Championship, which Ray and I will be attending on Sunday, probably do something so similar to this, I guess.

But what do we talking about? Hot dogs? Like eating hot dogs and drinking? I'll go, yeah, I don't know, it's weird. Okay, what else are you going? So?

I got some JM top ten course and plus three.

Sixty because it has he may not even be in this tournament, but you still take him.

I even look at the board out a habit No.

He'll probably miss the fucking cut, but I have to. And Hadaki mats yamat the win plus twenty two hundred. Great showing at the US again. Yeah, and actually a solid season all around. Russell Henley top five plus five fifty. He's actually ranked like surprisingly high up in.

The world golf rankings, and I don't really know.

Why his stats aren't any good. No, his stats are terrible.

But like I think he just hangs around enough in that kind of like middle of the pack.

He defies the numbers. Yeah, like the he.

Finishes pretty well, but his like his like strokes mm, that's and stuff are pretty pretty abysmal.

Yeah.

And then I got a three ball for the tournament between Oberg Henley and can't Lay. I'm taking Henley plus two hundred, so of the that three man grouping best score.

Of the tournament and then holding one in.

Round four because obviously we'll be there so that's more fun plus six.

Hundred any any of the part threes any.

Actually, what was interesting is the odds for Saturday and Sunday hold on one were the same as Thursday Friday.

With less people, with less people but better players.

Better players. But I thought that was surprising. Okay, just mathematically we talk about the fucking US Olympic golf team and how Bryson ain't on it.

Is that a rule that they rode in there because of Live? That's what I heard.

Yeah, they're not eligible for World Golf ranking things.

That is such bullshit. Well they shouldn't have gone to live if that first play for our country.

Going to live is the most American thing you can possibly do. You chase the money, you take the money. We are a hyper capitalistic country, and you take it from the Saudis.

Whoever has it, whoever's got the bag joint? Would you take it from North Korea immediately? Without question?

No, I'd rather take it from North There.

Is no state, there is no country. So if you walked by one of their concentration camps in North Korea, time to get educated, motherfuckers. It's a re education camp, dan he a concentration. Would you have.

Taken the money from Saudi Arabia in like October two.

Thousand and one, October on nine to twelve, when you've taken money from Saudis not publicly what else to che literally to.

I got Stanley cupp Oiler's Panthers under five and a half.

Maybebrovsky, will you stand on his head.

He's been doing that a lot.

My Panthers, though, your Panthers. That's true. That's true because when you think hockey, you think of Sunrise, Florida.

That's all right, I know I don't like any of this ship.

All right, continue too.

I got baseball.

I am taking the White Sox money line plus one forty because why not?

M Are they the worst team in all the pro sports?

I think so?

Is that the White songs that peaks my interest? Like the Pistons, they're terrible.

They're yeah, they're bad.

It's pretty bad Carolina Panthers. I'm gonna just go with the Pistons only because they signed their coach to eight hundred million dollars deal and then fired him after one year. That's great, not exactly eight hundred million, but yeah, DP, in my story.

He was the high he was the highest paid coach at that contract right at one point, and then got out.

The Lions won more games than the Pistons last year.

That's pretty apic.

Actually, yeah, we don't need to bring up what the Lions did and the okay, twenty four we're coming back. What else do you have there? Or do you got a Formula one?

Formula one My guy Lewis Hamilton podium finished plus four fifty and fastest.

Lap plus four fifty Espanya. They apparently they fixed Mercedes's cars.

Oh so see, that's why when people talk about all these drivers they're so great, and then it's the car. Yeah, I mean, like I think you d have a great car.

It's very much.

It's at at least fifty to fifty, if not more, lopsided for the car over the driver.

They always talk about it. Man, I had the fastest car. I had the best car out there.

Yeah, and it's funny that a Honda engine is like the best car out of like all these like top tier car companies.

Yeah, that's racist, it's racist.

Yeah, you're surprised by Japanese engineering. You shouldn't be.

No, I'm not at all.

It sounds like you are.

Well, they were surprised by American engineering.

Besta. What's going on today with you? What do you mean, Danny? I don't know.

I'm trying to eat my fucking hot dogs over here. And is there a Galleries calling me racist as well?

Is everything all right? Everything's good. I'm great.

You seem a little.

I was in Cleveland yesterday. That was weird.

Yeah, why were you in Cleveland?

I don't know, some work ship.

But I went to a Guardians game. I got to call him the Guardians because you know, this is what we do.

Yeah, that's what we do. I caught a foul ball. Wait, first foul ball in my life. Jose Ramirez, sky Hive and right field. Some schmuck in front of me tries to catch it, and these kids are like eating ice cream and shit in front of them, and it bounces and misses and lands at my feet. They're crawling under the seat, try and grab it. I'm fucking grabbing it over his wrist, pulling it out, screaming. I'm forty years old. Been going to ball game since I was like six.

Hold on, hold on, you didn't catch a foul ball. No, it got a foul and then you got it. I got him. It sounded impressive if you caught it. I was going to go all right, No, it's still impressive. It's still impressive. There was a dog pile. There was a dog pile. It wasn't like Arry Bond's home run that people were scrambling for.

It was my first ever foul ball. It's a big deal. I got it up on a fucking display case of the house.

Now a foul ball from a NAIs in Cleveland Guardian.

Absolutely.

The eldest had one of those display cases from one of her softball games. I took that thing out and it's in the kitchen.

Is it rattling around in it? Because it's a baseball, not a softball.

It's kind of like this weird glove that they gave all the kids who like did good or whatever the fuck, And I just got rid of that.

I got hit in the head with one of the T shirts when I was a kid. Yeah, the T shirt can I like. I was like, look down, I guess it's sat up, and it like drilled me right in the face. And then some fucking fat lady in front of me trying to grab it, and my dad was like, no, they just hit him in the head.

I don't know if we have to say she's fat. Just a woman in front of you.

Yeah, that's part of the story.

She was like flopping over the backseat, trying to get it from like under the body.

Shaye, an Irving podcast? Wherever you get your podcast? You're still doing that right, flopping her out? Yeah, I'm doing it dating okay. Oh yeah, So Shae and Irving once again, it's Shae in I n Irving is your your podcast? Not Shae and Irving? What that? Dude's like Shae and Irving? Yeah, Irving? What that means?

Yeah, it's like Jackal and Hyde.

Yeah, you got to find an Irving. Maybe I got one that sad me already did.

Any Irving would be a pretty dorky name for.

A final I thought this was an aggressive podcast. Guys, What the fuck you thought wrong? You're a month I told you. I told the butcher happy pride, right, he's still pissed about that.

What did you do yesterday?

Sha? Oh? Wow?

I just stayed in my house June teenth? Yeah, no, didn't go outside stay.

Irving black because that would be even Yeah yeah, yeah, it ain't white and black. Score the scholarships.

And rehab actually yep, yeah, I told you four hundred years for you guys, eighteen months for us?

Yeah.

Score? Uh call it a come back. Our entire studio audience to be uh Marv and uh over there pay and of course Dylan Bad, Larry and Shay and Irving. I'm Dan Patrick. We're probably not going to be doing this for a couple of weeks. I think we need to regroup and rethink exactly what our goals are with this podcast. I think when we come back, we're having a.

Sushi eating content.

No no, no, no no no no, not souit, no taco oysters.

I'll do oyster. I'll smack you in either one of those.

Next. Okay, something has to be at steak here, because I don't give a ship. I don't care.

Tattoos, for sure, are up there as far as what we're gonna get.

I do have a clam on your back, but you don't have one. I have an oyster.

No, that's not really no fun that that's not a bet an oyster.

You have a iron cross on your back?

I I do not. I'm proud of my German heritage. Assuming Okay, I was just following orders. If we're gonna do this, something's got to be at stake. If not, I don't care watching you guys eat unless there's something.

I mean that has to be Okay, that has to be at least marginally entertaining.

No, today wasn't marginally entertaining.

That's not my fault.

Okay, So why do I want to watch two guys eat? Because is better than one unless there's stuff that's dripping down your face and it's a mess and somebody making me describe it if you actually were you guys.

But oysters are search yestery. Oysters are an aphrodisiac.

We're gonna take We're gonna take a couple of weeks off here, and then we're going to be back, probably in the middle of July, maybe back better than ever. We'll be bak. But until then, thanks for John.

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