Episode 117: Lambskin

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling.

One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now join my bad Larry, Shay and Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

This is how it starts. It's Dan Patrick takes a gamble. You're starting a line up. Hi, bad Larry, Bad Larry joining us from New Jersey, Dylan the graphics guys here, and of course Shae in Irving not Shaye and Irving.

Yeah that was weird.

Yeah, would you name a kid Irving?

I would? Yeah.

I guess if you ever.

Had a son, Yeah, if my son ever comes back to me, I mean, yeah, I gotta have one or two out there. Do you think I do? Yeah?

Yeah, it wasn't very cautious Danny growing Upjuana.

If they're smart, there's extradition that bad Larry.

How are you everything good?

Damn well? You had you had a good week last week. You're up seven and a half units. Is that right?

I I, Oh, my god, I don't know. I don't have last week's picked in front of me.

Let me, I know I hit.

I know I hit the Dallas Mavericks money line.

Back, Ray, Ray, you're the one that keeps track of this as the producer. Bad Larry won one and a half units last week.

Correct, Okay, I will give Larry his flowers up seven and a half units in the off seasons. Actually pretty good, quietly pretty good, especially when you compare it to other things in your immediate vicinity.

Well, but the problem is he says he's really good with football.

Yeah, well he wasn't. That's awful, good at all awful. That's when I first met Larry. He would, you know, tell me all the bets that he won. He never told me the bets he lost.

Well, you told me like, you're like, like before I met Bad Larry, You're like, my guy, Bad Larry's coming in. He's a pretty sharp football better And I was like this dipshit is.

Sharp.

No, Larry is sharp. Yeah.

Yeah, I think I dominated that first year. I had a bad last year and I shorted Kansas City down the stretch.

You ran the table in golf for a little bit too. Actually, like a stretch where he's just hitting all the golf bets.

Well, Shaye won six and a half units last week. Boom, bitch, you're still down nine and a half. That ain't nothing. Danny Dylan won two units. You're down minus twenty three. That's something.

That's a steep mountain.

Yeah, I don't think you can climb out of that.

I'm gonna have to start and throwing some barlays out.

Yeah, golf parlay, how do you get out of the hole? Dan, keep digging, just don't pull out? Whoa getting out of a hole? That was my problem? Growing better than that? I am not you are better than that?

She said, no condom, no problem kids in.

Gam I'm allergic to latex.

Uh you're a lamb skinning guy, skin guy.

For her pleasure.

There is nothing about that is for her.

Got nothing to do with her. Okay. Uh Rory's divorce is going to affect him at the PGA Championship. He's going to play better. Yeah, Oh you think without that albatross around his goddamn neck. Well he's uh, he won last week. What did he do for Mother's Day? That's my question? I don't think he did. He won a tournament, that's what. I don't think.

He was asked after he won. I think he was asked about Mother's Day and he he didn't acknowledge his wife.

It's like every divorced dad in America is playing golf on.

Mother yea, the Wells Fargo Championship.

I couldn't miss it, exactly. No, No, he's he won his first tournament.

It there.

Oh yeah, that was his that was first tour wineverug Inaugural. I mean, I feel like that would actually help your plate, Like if you're literally just thinking so much about something completely unrelated to golf battle.

Yeah, think about how much money you're losing, Yeah, like on the golf course, thinking about how much he's gonna get. Yeah, well, there's there's no way that helps your game.

There's the rumor that he's gonna sign with Live for what what do they offer? Eight hundred million dollars? Months finalized the divorce, then signed the.

Duh. I don't know if everything that's been said that you can now join.

He's the one guy who like he would get Tiger, can't Tiger?

Yeah, they gave Tiger a hundred million just to say, hey, thanks for your support. Unbelievable one hundred million, What a sweet gig. I want to I want the over under on his next wife. The age Tiger's Rory's tiger ain't never getting married again, No way, no chance. Uh So the over under for Rory's next wife, the age how old Rory? Twenty seven? I'll go over there, you'll go, I go. I would go under twenty eight and a half.

Okay, yes, but wait, Shay, do you think Rory should put another curse of monogamy around his finger?

No? I think he will, though, I think one hundred percent will he'll get married again. He strikes me as he loves love exactly. He believes he's a northern man. I don't know how Catholic they are.

Yes, Ray, he's thirty five, so he's got time.

Oh yeah, he'll be forty, she'll be twenty eight. He'll pop out a couple more.

Absolutely, And it's crazy that he's thirty five because like how long, Like it feels like he's been on tour for like thirty years?

How long was he married? Seven years?

And she worked for like golf?

She did right? No, No, she worked for the PGA tour. Awful combination, awful. You can't get away with shit. She's working in the same place as your nightmare.

Bad Larry, Which NFL coach will be fired first in twenty twenty four? I have the odds Robert Salah of the Jets, Matt eber Flus of the Bears, Mike McCarthy and Dallas Dennis Allen in New Orleans. Do you want to pick one? Wager on one or we'll just move on.

I would say definitely not the Dallas guy, the guy in Chicago.

Matt eber Flus. What do you think I'll take Dennis Allen right now? Plus seven hundred? Okay, all day? You do?

I probably would do. They can't fire eber Flus with after Kayleb Williams first year bad or good?

Right, Well, you would think it buys him a little more time.

At least two year, like freshman and sophomore year. If it's still nothing's changed, then.

Let me look at the recap here, Bad Larry, anything that stands out the.

Now just the Dallas money line. But yeah, I mean the one year in the PST. There's nothing jumps off the pack.

Yeah.

Uh, let's see, Shay, nothing what do you mean Danny had a great time? Baseball domination, basketball domination, My Korean finally came home. Colin Moore count Zerra domination plus three hundred, Top twenty. I think he's from Berkeley. I don't think he's Korean. Is he Norakala? No, he's Japanese. Okay, but he's my Korean. He has a Korean. I have a Korean. Well he is Sun Jam Yeah, the Korean, which actually Dan, Well, I.

Mean we'll get to that, but it's been a big, big week for Korean.

Yeah. Well sunjay Em and See Woo Kim. Yeah, you had both of those.

Sun Jm finished third. I believe smoked the top ten.

You lost your parlay her NBA parlays, which actually.

Do that that Caves Celtics game when the Caves are thirty and a half point dogs and one out right, Well that was spicy.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. All the games have to win for a parlay.

Yeah.

No, it was just you're making fun of bad Larry not being sharp.

No, I never said I was.

That brings us to this week, Bad Larry. You got some golf bets.

I do have a couple, But did I get a betting on Tiger not making a cut.

Yes, yes you did.

What were they? What are the odds on that? Uh?

Tiger missed the cut minus two hundred?

Okay, that's fine. Okay, I don't know what he's doing, but I just I'm in the stage where I like rooting against tigers.

Are you sure that you don't know what Tiger's doing right now?

I don't know if you keeek offer or not yet?

Do you swear on your your wife?

I swear, yeah, I don't know.

Swear on your sister in law, somebody more exactly? All right?

I have I have no idea.

Okay, anyone might be plus one or even.

Oh that's better than I would have expected him to be. I hope he's on the first hole.

Uh, he's to play a lot of them. He's probably on the back nine. He's got maybe four holes to play. Okay, So, uh, what's.

You doesn't bode well for me?

What are your golf bets?

Okay, Corey Connor's top to the top twenties, just one unit of each Cory Connors, justin, Thomas Rory, and Jordan Spieth, then one unit to not make the cut on Tiger. It looks like I'm gonna lose that, and then I want basketball. I want over in Denver game tonight. That's too over in the Knicks tomorrow night.

Denver over is a two to four and a.

Half okay, Knicks Tomorrow.

Night over to sixteen, Okay.

And then I want under on the OKCE Dallas game. I think that's Saturday to ten. Okay. There there my picks, one on each of them.

All right, Shay, you're right well, America's pastime red Sox laying one to eight against the Rays, Twinkies minus one fifteen against the Yankees, and then PGA. Guess what I got some parlays Danny, Yeah, and Speed is involved because I'm a glutton for punishment. Top ten parlay hook him brooksy Scheffler plus ten thirty five, Top twenty parlay Scheffler and Hovelin plus one twenty eight. And then I got outright winners my guy Ludwig, Bryson, Deshaw, Trt pulling my

You, Scott? He's a hook him guy too, Yeah, I know, be a better bet.

What else do you have? NFL futures, it's got fucking go over unders, Danny, schedules are out. It's time to get weird. Panthers under five and a half wins. That's three units. I got the Bears under eight and a half wins. I think that's fucking way too high. I don't think is gonna be good at all. I don't. I think it's gonna take a shit ton of sacks. Cowboys under ten and a half, yes, Seahawks over seven and a half.

So if you're taking the under, I don't want you calling up the show and then complaining when the Cowboys don't do well.

You know I'm gonna call the show. You expect them to do poorly. I'm betting against them getting ten. The team's gotten worse. It's gotten fucking worse. Okay, schedule's gotten harder. How the fuck are they gonna win eleven games? Cry though during this season when they don't do well, and then you sound surprised, what is that? No, no, no, no, no, that's not true. It's not that I'm surprised. It's surprised that I'm falling for this shit over and over again.

He's like he's just like three years late to the party at this.

And he's telling me what a great guy Putin is, right. I love it. Yeah, Well, I mean that guy does have some good ideas. Voting doesn't matter.

Who's having a better week, Aaron Rodgers or the kicker from the Chiefs.

Oh, that guy rocks. Butker the man, the myth, the legend. You kidding me? That was awesome. Women, you don't have to work just have babies. If I was a woman, let me tell you something. You want, ugly woman who I'd be to not working, You would stay in the kitchen and have no problem, absolutely be baking pies and ship, taking the kids to soccer, whatever the hell be hanging out. Damn it's good to be white. I've said this before and I'll say it again. It's amazing. Goddamn it. It's great.

It's been pretty fun so far.

It's great. Been a good run, especially in Connecticut. This look a different kind of white, like a Fairfield County white. This is what.

Yeah, but apparently it's the basketball capital of the country now, so.

It's also the only fans capital of the country. Do you see that on the Twitter? Go to unusual whales on the Twitter. That's not what you think, Marvin. It says the largest number of only fans creators is in and around the city of New Haven, Connecticut. No ship. They're averaging four hundred and thirty eight bucks a month.

Like race like based on the ratio of like the population.

I think it's total number. I mean to all the single guys or something. Now what do you got? Yeah?

Right, So this is from the New York Post. There's two thy four hundred and sixty four accounts. According to the Daily Mail, ninety seven percent of these accounts are based in or around New Haven. Each medium income per month four hundred and thirty dollars.

Look at that little extra scratch. We got some uh you know, for the single guys, how about some research and for guys who have a wife and three daughters. There I'm talking about real. I would never Danny sign up to see somebody's kiddies online, Like I could just go google that. I don't Yeah, I don't get you want to interact with him? Don't you're their hair? Do you want to talk to them?

You're a big direct message guy.

Yeah, all of this is foreign to bad Larry.

Like Larry's got a phone.

I don't know what you guys are talking.

I know I know that Dylan porn.

Larry started that.

Dylan, you're up my turn? Okay? Cool?

Uh So for the PGA Championship I actually have the x man Xander Shaffley to win plus twelve hundred. He's looking good right now, which means it doesn't bode well for Sunday. Colin Morikawa, I'm borrowing him again. Say top to him for the minute plus two eighty and naturally, I mean after his glorious third place finish at the

So not Monday or or Thursday or Friday, when more people will be in the field and more chances for holding one the odds.

Gale old juice here after the cut, and I know it all right.

It spoke to me, where are we in the Formula one circle?

It's in Italia?

Okay?

So I got Oscar Piastre podium finished plus three hundred.

Home field advantage is that? Yeah?

Pea three?

Yeah, I'm gonna say the real name.

For Fernando Alonso podium finished plus twelve hundred and Sergio Perez fastest lap plus eight fifteen. All right, NHL got my Rangers money line tonight against the Hurricanes plus one forty. Really scared that this is going to go to Game seven though, after being up three zip and then Panthers puckline minus one and a half against the Bruins tomorrow.

Well, Aaron, Aaron Judge had a big night laws Yeah, yeah, all extra base, extra base hits. Had it hit a bomb too? I mean he hit like a four hundred and sixty foot home.

That's a that's a long time rundown.

Yes, it is, uh bat Larry, anything that you would like to add? Anything coming up this weekend.

This weekend? Yeah, I don't think so. I can't come up this weekend.

I want to take No. No, I didn't. I didn't invite you. I said, is there anything going on this weekend?

Anything I have planned this weekend? No, Larry, I haven't been I haven't been told what we're going to do this weekend.

Yet. It's got to be a Regatta somewhere.

I'm thinking maybe AC but I'm not sure Borgatta.

I got a couple soccer tournaments Danny for the kids, and we've been warned. This is our fourth warning for the parents on the sideline for being too loud and uh ruckus. So we might be getting kicked off the field this Saturday and Sunday.

That's kind of ideal though, right, I'm excited to hang around if Yeah.

No, I like watching soccer, like the eldest kid soccer. She's decent at it, but the team's fucking nuts. So it's like a party every time, and people drink out their booze. But you don't, No, not me, you don't drink. No.

But it's organic psychotic, just.

Just shady and bipolar and crazy like synthetic. No, I just don't take my antipsychotics in the morning. And then are you bipolar? Yeah? Why are you just telling me? Then? Now I'm gonna lead with that. I don't well a long time. Yeah, I'm bipolar ship man. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm on anti psychotics and whatnot. The problem is when I drink heavily, the anti psychotics don't work. So we'll have episodes and I'll just go on a three day run and just not go home. That's what happened a

Yes, Ray America Americanmedical dot Org says it's safest to avoid drinking and all possibilities on antipsychotics.

Yeah, cocaine too. If you keep reading, they're like, no, you can't do it. That enhances the mad the mania, which is cool.

Yeah, I buy that.

Okay, I think we've done enough damage. Shane and Irving the podcast. Shae sent me a picture of a dish that his wife made. Yeah, chioppino. It was good as ship. It looked good. It was awesome. I do like, Yeah, when are you coming on the show, Danny? I don't know.

Why are you gonna over some chiopino?

Dan? Yeah?

I need to come over. You have to but nobody drinks there. Oh no, she drinks.

Oh she does. Oh yeah, she'll have good wine for you. So you're drinking for two great tequila. You think we're gonna chop it up a little bit, you're life and me hope not. I mean she'll be say hi and all that other ship. We're gonna have dinner. So she's gonna be there. But is she gonna be flirty? No, like cute. She'll probably try and talk shit about me. She'll be cute, okay, like, oh yeah, he's such an idiot. Here,

Yeah, even right there with you know, the head tail, he'd be like, Hi, he's a good dude.

And John Candy more like al right.

Now he's he's more like John Goodman, what a sneaky great movie.

That movie's great.

It's still you can still watch that. It's unbelievable any day love thate how funny. Then that's an old movie eighties right, Yeah, yeah. I remember going to the theater first time, and usually you get like the credits that come up, or you get like something. It just starts, Oh really, and then you're like ten minutes in and then all of a sudden is.

I don't remember it's I got a cold open shit. Yes, And my wife and I were like, we had never seen anything like that where the movie starts and you don't know that the movie started ten minutes in. Then they, you know, have the thing that comes up says Raising Arizona, great movie, bad lair. Have you seen Raising Arizona.

I've never seen it. I'm interested now though.

It's it's great. And you have the guy who was in the ring when Howard Cosell said he was not going to call any more boxing fights because he was watching this guy fight. Now you know Randall techs con ah yas Randall techs Cob plays the bad guy villain, but he's also trying to track down who stole who stole the baby.

It is great, yes, Ray Well, speaking of TV shows and such, did you see that Netflix paid fifty million for the Jerry Jones.

That's gonna be so stupid. That's gonna be just another fluff piece like it was with a fucking Patriots bullshit. That's it. I guarantee you the Patriots they piled on Bill Belichick. Jerry Jones is gonna have full editorial control of this fucking yeah. But Belichick didn't, No Craft did exactly, not Jerry's Jerry. Yeah, Jerry's gonna have it over everybody. God knows what he's gonna say about Jimmy and this ship. Could it reignite their feud, absolutely, because they just got

Don't care anymore. Yeah, you're I'm in the Hall of Fame. Maybe I'll get in the Ring of Honor. It's like so so petty, God, gonna be so so petty, DP.

I ask you this, even on the show, is the Jerry Jimmy Cowboys just like the Shaq and Kobe Lakers where they won, but it's like, damn, they could have won another three.

Well, they could have won another one for sure. Barry fucking sweats Heir coach like an idiot. I could have coached that team to a fucking rank break at r Shane Irving wherever you get your podcast, one of these days, I'll be on it. On a Wednesday, We'll go fishing. I don't want to make a full day of it. No, what do you mean the fisher right there, it's in the pond at the house.

How about we ease into our relationship there. You know, I'm gonna meet the kids, and I'm going to meet your wife, and we're gonna chat a little bit. We're gonna drink it up a little bit. We're gonna just kind of be friendly.

She's gonna watch.

Look, I could get stone, Danny could get into the drug drawer, maybe take some Xanax. No, I'll be all right, I'll just take my of that. Wh What do you mean I have no interest in it? You know I would just like, you've never gone drugs, You're not interested in? Ever? Have I done drugs? I'm not interested in That feels like a trick question.

I've done a lot of drugs, said pretty much all of them.

At least the next.

Time Hall of Fame sportscaster. I can't go into anything like that.

Yeah, it's anything that's right. Yeah, neither could I. Especially we start showing my face. I gotta start churching up. Say it was a different person. That's what I'm gonna say. I'm going to change everything and be like, oh I am Shay from Irving. It'll be good. I think you need to change your name.

Yeah, you're pretty dead to right.

You need to be Irving from Shad.

Bad Larry, have a wonderful weekend, even though you don't know what you're doing this weekend. But uh, thanks for joining us.

Appreciate raining down here. I'm heading over to raise obviously for my loans right now. Yeah, and we'll get it going about three thirty four o'clock this afternoon.

What does that mean? You say you don't day drink.

Well, that's three thirty or four is not today?

I actually I have to agree with that.

And and he's off today. I mean I don't day drink when she's working, but she's off today, so we'll we'll day drink together, like three thirty four, I'm happy hour, little I don't know what.

And and your sister in law. She's gonna be with you probably.

She lives the next town away. Yeah, we're gonna go wherever. We'll pick up the spot and I'll go pick her up and we'll go out.

Yeah, Hampton's in. Yeah, Joe, Yeah, we will chat next week.

All right.

That's Larry joining us from Jersey, and uh Dylan the graphics guy, Marvin running all the equipment here, and of course Shae in Irving, not Shaye and Irving.

We'll talk to you next week. Have a great weekend.

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