Episode 115: Bad Larry Plays Cornhole

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

You're a coward. It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now join my bad Larry, Shay and Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

All right, everybody's back. Hello, Dan, Hey bad Larry, Dylan's here, Shay's here. Ray is back. Now. Let me just start with Ray here for a moment, because Ray had a problem over the weekend. He went to a service last week, went to a funeral and he went up to get communed. Well, he's not supposed to have a community.

Nope, nope.

And you went up and you received the body of Christ without permission, Like you're not supposed to do that. Yeah.

I had no idea. I was just kind of following along with what everyone was doing with all the hands stuff and everything.

And make a great Catholic.

And I just went up there and I took it. And then afterwards I was like texting Dylan and Eric the big German and they're like, you shouldn't have to take that. You're probably going to hell. Now. I did some research and it seems like they might be correct.

You're supposed to put your arms in an X when they come to you if you're living in sin. And you're living in sin, you're fornicating right now.

There was also like, there's also like seventy people there and I would have been the only one to do good as Brian X.

So what dude, Jesus would have seen that?

Now?

Can I repent?

No, you're doing Shaye has a close friendship with Jesus.

Amen. Yes, and he'll tell me exactly what I need to get later on my nightly prayers.

A Canaanable type relationship, I think.

I remember I was at a Catholic wedding and I did that once because I was fornicating and the priest got so mad. I put my ex up and he was like, what in the world are you doing. I was like, I'm living in sand, father, and that was it. He was so mad.

When's the last time you went to a confessional, bad Larry, when's the last time you went to confession?

Oh, confession has been a long time Dan, probably fifteen years, but yeah, twenty five years.

You haven't done anything really like you, you and your wife and your sister in law.

That ain't sen.

I have nothing to confess.

Okay, Dylan, what about you?

Never in my life, Dan, I haven't spent a ton of time in churches except for funerals and weddings.

What about yu?

Shit?

Never. The only way to the fathers through the son. You don't use a priest as a conduit. I'm a Protestant, Danny. We're going to heaven.

Okay. It's been a long time since I've gone to the confessional, like childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean after a while, I went, wait, this is weird.

It's goofy.

I can see the priest and he can see me, So he's going to hold this over my head the rest of my life. One. Yeah, that guy's had impure thoughts.

Yes, Marvin, what about taxi cab confessions?

Oh that's what you know what working girl confessions. They can pull stories out of me. They're like therapists, but naked.

Says the priest too.

Watch that. Let's recap from last week. God shay, you're terrible.

Ah yeah, it's really getting right in the corn hold, Danny.

It was you lost three units. Your money is sixteen. Dylan, you won three and a half and your money is eighteen. Bad Larry won a half a unit. He's up two units, So congratulations there bad.

Lairy hanging in there. Yeah, I got to add one thing. I got to add one thing to my picks. Right before Marvin called me, a buddy of mine called in. He's given them the one horse in the third race at Aqueduct. You know, if you go on a site, you might have to be bellm on a spell my Aqueduct, but uh, probably a two o'clock start. You guys, throw a little money on the one horse.

Okay, so it's third pray straight.

I want one unit on it, okay on the show.

What's the name of the horse?

I don't even know it. It's like I can look it up. It's like rat with It's like a six lettered name. It's the one horse, it's the favor. It's probably going to go off at even money.

Okay.

Ray is looking at that right now, so we'll get back.

To you on that.

Okay. I want one unit on a toe, all right?

Nobody bet on the Ryan Garcia fight Oh my god.

You see you failed the drug test too, Yeah, son of a gun.

Yeah, after bet so. Actually, there's an interesting thing. He bet what two million on himself and one like twelve million. How does that work with the like obviously if he get test like the be test is positive, they stripped the wind.

Yeah, it wasn't even a title fight. It wasn't because he didn't make weight.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was like three pounds over.

Yeah, he was drinking a beer. Dude, he went fucking crazy, or pretended he went crazy. Odds went against him. Then he bet on himself one handedly juiced, and now he's failing tests.

Well like that twelve million dollars.

That's like, if he actually fails that second test, the casino is probably gonna come a knock in, I would imagine.

I would think, why don't you just let boxers do steroids?

Totally agree?

I mean, yeah, it's just you. I mean they're doing it in just go yeah, just go ahead, go on in there. Uh, let's see anything else he was a uh I mean that was plus six hundred. I mean that's that's a big upset. Anything worth recapping, Larry any victory laps you want to take.

I think I won a couple of my series bets already. I know Ray hasn't given us credit for them yet. I guess he calls it off till all the series are over.

I don't know. I can ask Ray.

Ray.

As of right now, you just have the Nuggets, which were minus three tens, so congratulations.

That's not a big win. Layer.

The Nugget beat. All the other ones weren't over yet. I didn't. I didn't have the Celtics.

You did not have the Celtics. You have the Knicks to beat the Sixers and the MAVs to beat the Clippers.

Why do we every week have to tell you what you.

I write them down. I'm not even writing them down anymore, Dan, I just text them on my phone when I sent them to Ray. So I remember what I picked today, But next week I won't remember. When that one horse wins the third, I won't remember it.

Okay, So Larry won a couple. He's doing pretty well. Shay, that's bad.

I'll turn around. Danny his baseball.

Okay, Dylan, you actually did Okay?

Actually, yeah, my hail Mary heat to win the series against the Celtics at plus one thousand did not pan.

It did not.

It did not, but Dan big one of the week calls across thousand money line versus Delaware plus one hundred.

Who saw that one coming? Ten? No, buddy, Yeah, I'll take what I can get it this way. Yeah.

Fucking Lakers, by the way, Jesus Christ, I suck bombs.

Yeah yeah, all right, So Larry bets this week? Do you want us to tell you what you bet?

I let's go over what I remember and then we'll go from there. I want, I know, I bet the Knicks for the first ten points, first one of ten.

Yes.

Oh, I have a baseball game this afternoon. You have the US at one o'clock.

Yeah, I want to yeah, yeah, all right, that's minus one ten against the Cubs.

Okay, I have the Knicks tonight.

You have the next plus three okay.

And I have the Do I have had the under in that Nick game?

You have the first half under?

First half under?

That's exactly right, one two and a half. I like that?

Are they all that I put in so far?

Uh?

Joe llenb points and rebounds? Oh yeah, forty one and a half.

I'm thirty one and a half. Forty one, forty one and a half thirty three and thirteen. Yeah, I'm good with that.

So that means I think it's points horse thirty one and a half and then like ten and a half rebounds. That's what the individual numbers are. So you've you've got that, and then you you have the horse at Aqueduct. Did we find who that is?

Ray?

Yeah? You said race three, right, Larry.

Yes, race three and the one horse Rottney. Yeah, that's it.

Okay, yeah, seven to five all right, so you got one unit on the yep, all right. And then Kentucky Derby, Oh.

I did uh, I know they changed their numbers on me. But it's a two four to ten exact of box right now. But last last year we didn't pay out on the Derby, so I'm assuming we're going to put that off to the side or I still have like seventeen units over there somewhere.

There we go, they're in the trash. Okay, all right, So that's uh, you've got the exact a box right, okay.

For it was two four eleven, but uh, some horse backed out and they added the new horse to the twenty spot and those middle numbers moved up once. So it's a two four to ten exact of boxing.

All right, we have that. Uh shay, you're up next, all right? Uh Basketball, the Association, I got the over. It's two hundred point five now yeah, one nine yesterday, Well that's yesterday. I'm just saying it's moving Nick seventy six ers over two hundred and a half. Baseball, I got the Balmer Orioles versus the Yankees, but I got Balmer plus one hundred. I got the over in that

No, I'm sung Jay all Sunday.

It is not.

He actually just won something in my career. I think, oh okay, but I didn't bet it.

Top twenty parlay. I got Jordan Speeth. God, zero plus three sixty six.

I'm do Danny, that's losing. Yeah, okay, Dylan, what do you have? All right?

Dan, I'll start with the derby. We actually got at inside tip on the show today.

Yeah, Cadillac in Arkansas called Yep. And when a man named Cadillac gives you a betting tip, you take it. Now. I guess he's somebody in his family tree has a horse, Honor Marie. Yeah, and twenty to one. Twenty to one, so you're taking to win? Oh, okay, and then any any other couple more.

Okay.

I'm also taking Track Phantom to win at twenty to one, and I got a couple of trifectas straight up not boxed. Uh first one one Hono Marie, two door Knock and three Track Phantom. And then the second trifect I got one door Knock, two Fierceness who is the favorite, and three Forever Young. And then also golf Dan because I'm a slow learner, like my counterpart over here, Keith Mitchell Kashmir Keith top ten plus four fifty and Hayden Buckley top ten plus thirty five hundred.

Great lax name by the.

Way, Hayden. Oh yeah, Hayden Buckley the third exactly right.

They call him Trig.

And then you got hockey.

Uh yeah, I got a series bet my Rangers to beat the Hurricanes plus one forty.

They usually have trouble with them, but this is a different Rangers team. Dan, Okay, yes, Marvin.

Sorry, did you guys just see that the Rangers or the Hurricanes said they're only selling tickets to people in North Carolina?

Yeah, just so you're doing it by zip code?

Yeah, yep. They don't want to repeat of what happened with the sixers in the Knicks.

How well can that work?

Are you monitor?

Also, the funny thing is about North Carolina and like Atlanta places like that. There's full of.

New Yorkers here. Yeah, absolutely those since the pandemic.

Yeah sure, Charlotte in Atlanta was a bunch of people from New York.

Well, we fucking gave them the Hurricanes well heart hard.

Yeah only d d dun dum du dun du. The mall at Hartford, Yeah, I was there last last game. You were How depressing was it Wasn't It was like a wake? No, no, no, it was kind of a celebratory wake. Everybody. Everybody knew you were dying, but we were celebrating you dying.

Yeah, that's my favorite.

That the best. Yeah.

Yeah.

I took my son to see the Whale the last game he's He was like, why are they given all their gear away?

There?

Not gonna need it where they're going anything else there do?

Yep?

I got a little NBA parlay tonight.

Oh.

I did run into the Whaler's owner at a Jim Valvano golf tournament.

Wow.

Well, the problem was I didn't know that he was the owner of the Whalers. Now the you know, Caroline Panthers, and I'm ripping him. No, I'm ripping him in front of Sean Burke, the goaltender, and Kevin Deneen, and they were on the team and we're just talking in a cocktail party and I'm like, your owner, he's a carpet ba blah blah blah blah blah blah. And you could see these guys they're trying to let me know to

Yeah, he probably didn't.

So they got fucking Hartford.

I'm sure he was well aware of. Well, remember Hartford was getting the Patriots. Remember when that was? It was like Victor Kiam, that's right. And I remember my wife saying, are we getting the Patriots? I go, no, never the Hartford Patriots. A ring to that was?

That was such a good business movie.

No, I think that was Victor Chiam, wasn't it? Did he already sell it to.

I think that the robber Craft. It's like, you know what, let's build Gillette right next to Fox.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're coming Hartford, Adrian's landing, We're coming to Harvard here, coming to Hartford.

What else do you have? Their deal?

So NBA parlay tonight. I got the Bucks plus eight against the Pacers and the Sixers minus three against the Knicks, and that's plus two fifty.

Okay, mad Larry, anything any parting wisdom, shots, wisdom, anything we have.

I have a cornhole tournament at seven o'clock tonight in the backyard. The no, and that's that's works two to nine o'clock nicknames.

We're gonna get first place, Larry, I believe it. Yeah, No one's missing that hole.

Yeah. So, by the way, Shane Irving podcast, wherever you get your podcast, it's uh any how would you sum up?

Well, we have the show on Friday, and I think we're going to talk about a lot of current events that are in the news right now. Some protesting. Yeah, time in with student loan forgiveness, time in with how democracy is failing us all and we should turn to a benevolent dictator and make our lives simpler. But you know, we'll get to it.

You think that he would solve all.

This benevolent dictator? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, American Caesar Danny take away the right to vote. It doesn't we're all abusing it anyway, We're too stupid to vote for the right person.

Yeah, but that's how the dictator would get in office.

No, he's not a real dictator. We need an actual dictator, like a real American.

Singer, for example, like The Rock.

I think The Rock is a great choice, or Stone Cold Steve Austin. I think you could shepherd our country to Great Heights.

Dictator stone Cold would be pretty cool.

It'd be amazing, it'd be awesome. And you just think about it, You never have to go to the ballot box again ever, and you wouldn't be able to, like, you know, be politically active. You know how much easier a life would be. Danny would would just be propaganda.

Would you trust the Rock? Oh?

Yeah, hell yeah, I trust the Rock. Yeah, I'd go to Civil War for the Rock. You would absolutely Civil War two, Civil War two point Oh. Anybody see that movie what the Avengers Civil War?

No?

See it?

I heard about it.

Okay, well you should see it.

Like the reality is already bumming me out. I don't need to see a movie on what could happen if this escalate?

Right?

But that movie is like my wet dream, like this could happen. This would be so great, This would be awesome. If we just eliminated journalism, eliminated democracy, it would be easy. It would be a happy day for Shane Ring.

Can't can't wait for the podcast then all the current events, I'll.

Get canceled again. They were trying to cancel me on Twitter. I had somebody complaining to Apple to Spotify a bunch of different places for uh, well, don't don't bring that garbage to this podcast. Oh, everything I'm saying is a joke, Danny. I'm just messing around, Okay.

Even when you joke about the tennis wives in your neighborhood who drink chardonnay in bad mouth, you you're joking about them. You're not joking about.

Them, Anny, Tennis is very popular in Fairfield count So.

Is drinking chardone.

Yeah, especially if you're a wife with no job. Yeah, it's real, pop. Your job is backhand and fucking drinking. Okay, but your wife doesn't have a job, does she No, she's married to me, So that's pretty much the whole job is the full time gig. I got a call from the school nurse today. Oh, Danny, I almost fucking had a conneption. I'm sitting there in a meeting because I got an actual job, a job, and I get call. I ignore it. I get another call and it says

The I think we need done anyway.

So I finally pick up the damn phone, and of course this nurse is like from London, so she's got this accent, like fancy who to do?

And she's like, your daughter has slammed her finger into a door.

And I do suggest a pediatric visit.

I was like, put me on the phone with my daughter right now.

Put her on the phone. What happened, Oh, daddy, slam a door? Go back to class now, Like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do to put a fucking cast on your finger? You gotta go back to class right now. Four fucking calls over a fucking door jam. Get over yourself.

More sensitivity on Shay and Irving. Wherever you get your podcast if it's still available on Apple and Spotify in some of these other places. Bad Larry, thanks for joining us as always.

Thank you guys. Good luck say Dylan Ray, good luck.

Guys, Larry. That's the thank you, Larry, especially with Cornhole coming up later on tonight.

Perfect.

That's it. I think that we've done it for uh, for Dylan the graphics guy, for Marvin the Prince Shay and Irving and Ray gone to Hell. Thanks for joining us this week, and Dan Patrick takes a gamble. I'll talk to you next week.