Episode 114: Hide Your Hog

Gambling was something that I did. This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble. One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling. You're a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat. And now join my bad Larry Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy. I have friends. Here's Dan Patrick. Here we are again. We've done it now. I just came in from outside the goat of Supercross AMA, Ricky Carmichael. He was fifteen time champ. So he came in because there's a race this weekend Saturday on Peacock and NBC in Philadelphia and he's going to be one of the announcers. He brought one of his bikes in and he left his bike for me.

That that thing links like a death trap.

You never ridden a bike before, or never ridden a dirt bike before. I haven't done a hog or a dirt bike hog. That's embarrassing and iron horse. This goes back to my theory about how much you love NPR, that's all. You can't listen to the n p R and ride a motorcycle. Absolutely feel you're.

Still a pretty gay on a motorcycle.

It they called the Bear Did you have? Did you have? Chaps? Chaps? I like it? Yeah? Very raw, very raw, and you should hide when you're what is rawhidell Yeah? Alrighty bad Larry's here, Shan Irving and of course, uh, Dylan the graphics guy. Uh. Last week, let's recap, Shade lost three units Dylan one two bad Larry. So did you win your bet last week?

No?

You said that it was contingent on Jimmy Butler playing and they won.

The heat blow him out. I think the heat blow him out, but I don't think I had the bet.

Jimmy didn't play. Yeah, you lose.

I don't know if he played. He didn't play.

No, he didn't, well, you know, he did not play.

Some guy in the casino told me the heat blow him out. But I don't think Jimmy Butler played, and I never looked again. I figured Ray would tell me when I got got on the show.

Today. Ray's not here today, He's at a funerals dead Larry Ray died at his funeral.

But Larry, we were going to let him not place the bet, I think, but he did, like went in reverse. He thought that he would lose if Jimmy Butler wasn't playing. He didn't play, and they want, yes, right.

He lost a bet without losing money, which is complete bullshit, but there we go.

No, I won the bet without losing money.

You lost the bet. No you didn't. The bet didn't go.

I don't have a bet.

I don't I don't have tost bet.

Okay, you didn't win the bet.

The bet won, but Jimmy Butler didn't play, so I didn't have the bet.

Fair enough one. Uh NFL draft tonight? Is anybody betting anything on anything?

Boom boom bomb DraftKings? DraftKings does not have draft odds at the moment.

Oh yeah, it was weird, loll gone this morning. Didn't see shit.

Yeah, I don't know what's up with that. They could be like, okay, shuffling.

All right, here we go over under five and a half quarterbacks first round. Does anybody want to bet five and a half?

So sixth to one.

Under under take. I'll take one unit on the under, right now.

All right, Dylan, how do I go over? Actually, so that means that Pennix and bow Knicks get selected.

Yeah, I could very much see that happen.

Okay, Yeah, that means bow Knicks is going to get his second contract on his thirtieth birthday. Think about that.

Yeah, how old is he?

He's like twenty twenty yeah, twenty four. Yeah. Yeah, that's an old college rookie contract. Okay, but it sounds like you're rooting against him because oh well, I'm rooting against him because he left Auburn and shambles. But no, he did everything he could for Auburn, did everything. Auburn let him down.

They actually did kind of let him.

Yeah, they expected too much out of him. Oh now we're talking.

Okay, all right, we had that like three week stretch where he's balling and then.

Just nothing, play good against the Tide. Okay, recapping anything here, I've never betting golf again. It's Unamerican. I'm sick and tired of this shit. It's too much and freaking Cameron you bum I finally had oh man, you had Cam Young, I had got Zerra, I had Auburn. It's more count and then it's over young piece of shite.

Yeah, you almost almost at the top.

Twenty plus three. I just and I lost all three. You didn't do well in baseball either, so it's not a problem with baseball. Baseball, I only get to bet one day a week, so it's not a true picture of how I'm doing. But you're only betting one day a week on golf. Yeah, that's fucking bullshit. But there's not golf every day, Danny. Whether it's golf Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you.

Can kind of forecast the whole weekend with golf.

Dylan, let me see what you did.

I got a golf winner, Dan Scotty got a chef. Finally, bet On Scott. It is kind of turned into.

Want to go home, I just want to go home bullshit. But and then he said it was blown out of proportion about his wife if she went into labor and just tuning how that works. Somebody called that him last week. Yeah, she's only six months pregnant, bullshitter. Did anybody ask at Augusta how far along is your wife with the pregnancy?

That would have been a great question.

They wouldn't let me close enough to ask that.

You would have heard from the back six months.

Yeah, okay, uh, Dylan, you got you got Lando Norris podium finish he won that. There you lacrosse, you lost your Denver Providence.

Best and they didn't cover spread?

Then, right, bad Larry? How about you?

I didn't have to bet on the heat.

I think we've established that ten minutes ago.

You should you should have just bet on the fucking heat.

Yeah, I should have, but I didn't. Never mind my three series best all are they all too?

Oh? I don't know what you got.

I don't I really haven't even looked at.

MAVs are tied one one against Clippers.

Okay, the MAVs are one one.

All right, here we go. Yeah, the MAVs Luca playing defense. It's a playoffs. Do you hear his interview? He was like, yeah, it's a playoffs. The haters gonna hate, it's different. Is that what he said? What did he say? Haters gonna hate? He said, the haters will always talks about my defense. I'm paraphrasing. Cannot speak fucking Slovakian or whatever the hell

Okay, I have Joel mb going over whatever his point covered.

The Knicks can't cover thirty one and a half.

Over at his points thirty one. These are all one unit bets over him. I want the Lakers and a pick.

Them tonight, Lakers get one, Lakers.

Getting one, Okay. Then I want the Sun's minus four tomorrow, is that right?

Yep?

And then under in the Celtics heat game on.

Saturday that's two o five damn.

Yeah, that's gonna be one.

Hundred to three. Yeah okay, yeah yeah, definitely an under all right? And then do you have series bets. Then you have nick sixers.

I had the Knicks. I already did this last week.

I know, I'm just recapping.

Oh I don't have them in front of me, damn it. Do you haven't?

You never are prepared for this.

I haven't my lunches in ray my car with a little I'm Dylan the picks this morning. I just typed them in.

Okay, let me, okay, let me let me recap for the audience. Then, Larry, oh.

Wait, I have the Knicks, I have the Nuggets, the Nuggets right.

And you got the MAVs right. Damn? Why is it so difficult.

In my mind? Never already wins? Damn, I don't I don't have to remember them.

Haven't forbid? What's in your mind? By the way, I was the weekend with your wife and your wife's sister and Xenix.

Yeah, it was absolutely great. The five National parks were fabulous. I'm not a big like look at nature a lot.

You don't leave. You leave your house to go to the same restaurant every day. So it's not like I think you're going to explore unless you have hiking.

The last time you went to the Buddies to the beach, you were looking at cane.

Do you go on hikes in the woods? Why don't you hike? And I said, I stopped hiking when Henry Porter invented the car. I don't walk in the woods for nothing. It's stupid.

You could come up with a better line than that. Great, what's the room situation, Larry? Like Howny, you you're with the sister law yeah.

No, No, Actually the five of us, two of them stayed. Greg and Barber stayed down in Harris, and we stayed at Blagia.

When you say we how many rooms are we talking?

He had we had one room.

Bad Larry, sister in law, law, your wife falls asleep in a lot of movies.

Larry went to bed looking like Scarface.

Both girls fell asleep, and I went back down to sure.

I think it's Ray Allen and he's got.

Did you when you went back down, did you bring a third up? Larry?

That brings us to shame? Thank you? All right, here we go, Shae.

They're watching his sister act.

Oh. I got the NBA, believe it or not. I got a Parlay Danny because those always hit for me. I got the Lebron James and the Sixers money line plus one seventy five and then Baseball America's best. I only do it one day a week. All right, here we go. I got the Communist laying one oh five against the Royals. I've got A's the Bluejay, A's plus

Now, I'm actually pretty team this week. Okay, for the NBA Nuggets minus one against the Lakers, I'm gonna put two units on that, yeah, oh heat, one unit on the heat to win the series against the Celtics at plus a thousand, Yeah, taking a shot. And then actually I just noticed this. Then this morning the line on the total of the Calves Magic game tonight was one ninety eight and a half, and then a couple hours it's bumped up to two oh one.

Damn that's big miss that ship.

Yeah, so I'm gonna take that under.

Verse one movement big brain.

People dumping on the over.

Was that your Samuel Jackson with big brain? Yeah? Like Brad, Oh, Brad with a big brain. So I got a big brain off, Brad. What else do you have there? Deal?

NHL Playoffs Rangers minus one and half against the Caps plus one fifty that's tomorrow. And then tonight Panther's Lightning over six goals, and then college lacrosse Dan of course thousand money line against Delaware plus one hundred the Battle of the Chesapeake.

How do you even come up with a like a line on this.

And just make it up? No, no, no, they have they have.

You can be betting lines on the college Yeah, you can bet on college lacross, like the Premier Lacross. What could you? Could you bet one hundred thousand dollars on that game? Yeah?

I mean it's a it's a game. Line might flag something, I mean if you if yeah, well they can like look at it as like an aberration, but like technically like yeah, you're not betting on like if it was a prop in like a player prop like this guy have fifteen saves like John Porter.

Stupid. That is so dumb. I don't know why they don't just reach out to me, Like this is a message to all professional athletes. If you do want to get away with shaven points or illegally betting on your sale or somebody you know, please hit me up on the tour at shan Irving. I will get down for you. It will work. Oh, you'll place the bet oh no, no, no, I will have several people place the bet. We'll spread

I know how thin are you gonna spread if seventy people who don't bet that much better grand each.

Hit a couple movers, You get a couple movers at bet actual money, and then you just slip it through them. It's simple. Yeah, I don't think it's that simple. A lot simpler than you think. Not well, though, it's got to be simpler, no smarter than what he was doing. Yes, you can't just make one bet. You got to have a prop master who's betting ten grand a month and they fucking spread it out over six different accounts. You don't hit them all perfectly, you miss a few, and

Well, the guy's betting it like in the States, better on Sanduel and seventy on that's Calvin Ridley. What fifteen hundred bucks on vandel You guys got futures here.

Oh, baseball is fucking Cardinals are dead to me, Danny. Yeah, but you got them winning the World Series. Fucked that up.

That's not good, that's really It's hard to win the World Series when you're dead.

But you guys have already announced these futures.

Yes, yeah, these are just these are currently standing.

So you about the Mets though, amazing Delan's got them winning the World Series at plus fifty five hundred.

And plus eight thousand and eight dollars back in Yeah.

Wow, and the Oakland a is over fifty seven and a half wins.

What about Shay's White Sox? They are epically epically bad.

So bad god where they have three wins, They're.

On pace to be shut out twice the amount of times than they are to have wins this year.

Yeah yeah, a lot of no hitter is going to be thrown. Yeah. I can't blame this on Tony Larusa. No, no, no, no, no, he's sleeping somewhere else. How about Deli? How about Elie Dela Cruz By the way, he's also your red. He's awesome. Batt in three fifteen fucking fifteen stone bases nine bombs, Dudes, are freak.

Fifteen, dude, three fifteen's like batting fucking four hundred nowadays.

Bat Larry anything you'd like to mention.

Well, I have over eighty one wins for the match. You didn't mention it. I think Shade jumped.

On my Yeah, on that both, so.

We both have that. That was I have to go in five to start the season. Whatever. We look pretty good now, great, and I've been away, as I said, for like ten days. Whatever happened with Otani? I mean, why trying to spread that over seventy people say? Why? Just get a fucking Translator's good?

That's good.

All right?

Did somebody give you that line? Somebody gave you that line.

I'm sitting in my car, but I'm saying I didn't hear anything about.

He got arrested. He got arrested.

But major League Baseball and done a thing about it.

No. Not, They're not gonna. They don't want to do anything. It's crazy.

It's crazy.

There's one person they're not touching if they don't have to, the Golden Boy.

Well, they're giving Reggie Bush back his heisman.

Yeah.

Is Pete Rose going in the Hall of Fame?

No, it's not the same.

You're Ohio boy.

No, it's not. Reggie Bush wasn't everyone's betting on baseball. Reggie Bush wasn't betting on his own.

You know, he took money. He took money.

He took money for He didn't take money illegally. He just didn't pay it back. It was alone. He didn't pay it back. And then they turned him in to Yahoo Sports.

He got like a car too, write like parents the house for free or some ship.

Yeah. Yeah, so they gave him money. He decided not to sign with this marketing company and and so they turned him in. But he didn't bet on games.

No, but he took money I legally, well no, it was.

It was legally. He just didn't pay it back like legally he could. He was taking the money from them. It was alone. But even then, if he was an ncable athlete, he wasn't allowed to do that. No. But but they're rewriting. You can't get the heisman if you're ineligible. That's what their wording says. They gave him the heisman. He's still ineligible. He doesn't have his records, but bullshit.

So he just physically five.

They get banners back they should and so should Patino's team in Louisville. So what hookers and blow? That's horrid. Think about how hard it is to play basketball when you're doing blow and banging working girls. That's tough work, Danny. I know nobody hears everge love with a prostitute, especially Bad Larry. But they make you work for it. Maybe they do this for a living. You can't just show up and lay down. You gotta put in work. From what I've read, you know that your your roommate's friends

Yeah, no, I'm back.

Yukon won the national title. Yeah I have him, Dan, Okay, of course you did.

On the show, and in real life that was the easiest bet ever.

By the way, well, yeah, why didn't you load up and put fifty thousand dollars on it.

Yillary, because my limits three grand Wait, it was the easiest bet.

It was the easiest bet. Why didn't you spread it out? Why didn't you get a translator? Yeah? Why didn't you have Shae help you? I would have got down. Thank you, Larry. Okay, it's shanean Irving podcast. Wherever you get your podcast at shyanerving dot com. Yeah, oh yeah, we talked. We've had a media takedown last week. Danny Wait took down the

Mmmm, clear and concise.

Yeah, yes, Marvin, you know what for dejen of the Year, didd, he's got to be back up there, because all you got to do is just Google or go on your twitters or whatever it's called now and just typing diddy. Carl Winslow, You're welcome.

Did he? Carl went? Okay? Is that a black Twitter thing?

Uh? Carl Carl? Yes, Carl Winslow was the dad from family.

Oh yeah, yeah, I know that.

But just see why, Yes, just see why they're in it.

I don't know if I can do Diddy as a d Jon. He's more of a predator like Harvey Weinstein was never a Dejen of the Year candidate.

Do you actually see Harvey Weinstein today?

Yea. They overruled it, thee.

That rape conviction in New York, yep.

New York Supreme Court overturned his rape conviction of twenty one years he was sitting on he ain't no more. Yeah, but what about the other cases, the California ones, I have no idea. It's only one. That's only one. He's been accused quite a few times, not of sexual assault. There were two in New York that.

He was imprisoned for. The thing they ever returned for the sexual assault for this happened. This is what happened to Bill Cosby is they basically fucked up the case and then they appealed in and were like.

But I think he's washn't he uh in l A and he got a case out there. I think he's got a couple of I'm they'll go, I'm sure there's a few.

Skill you know.

Yeah, And then Arizona and then Idaho.

And we don't know that. We don't know that. Uh so that's it, that's that's, that's all we've got this week. And uh sounded like we mailed it in. I don't think we brought our a game too. I brought my mind, ny, I don't think.

So that's at least like B plus.

No, maybe a B minus. Bad Larry, I'm gonna give you a C plus.

Yeah, So were you guys missing Ray?

Yeah? Ray's not here today. You think that really mattered? Yeah? Wow, yeah, I think Ray's bringing some noise's listening. There's some job security. I didn't think fucking existed. No, no, no, I could fire him. That has nothing to do the jobs again, I'm fine, no awful, Yeah, no problem. So thank you for listening, if you're still listening, and we'll talk to you next week. And Dan Patrick takes again. M h m hmm.