Episode 109: Strap Em On

Gambling was something that I did.

This is Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

One of my bookies died at the Kitchen Table, a podcast vehicle for Dan to talk about his love of gambling. One bet, another bet, another bet.

Without doing the actual gambling.

Hear a coward.

It's easy to have a scapegoat.

And now joined by Bad Larry, Shayan Irving and Dylan the graphics guy.

I have friends.

Here's Dan Patrick.

All right, we're ready because Bad Larry is at the Big East Tournament.

Larry, can you hear us?

Dan? I got you. I just walked outside of kiernan og.

Okay, that's a bar.

Yeah, of course it's a bar.

Okay.

Now you're are you gonna do what you normally do, and that is you go to the Big East Tournament, but you don't go to any game.

I went to the Providence game last night, didn't even come back out of the Delta bar into the garden for the Villanova game, and then bounced around the city pretty late last night.

Okay, and then today, will you go to a game or just stay in the bar.

I'm not going to go to the afternoon session. I'm definitely going back in for Providence tonight. Oh, okay, I hope we see Dylan and Ray. They're to come into the city.

Oh, I didn't know that, Dylan. Are you planning on going to the Big East Tournament?

Some threats were made?

Okay, but we'll see you and Pa Ray are going to go in.

Yeah, okay, surprise attack. I yuess it was going to be a surprise attack.

But okay, Well, Larry'll be a little wounded by the time you get in.

Something tells me he doesn't like surprises either.

How wound you can you get on like thirty Budweisers for six hours? Yeah, I don't get it.

They're twenty four ounce cams.

Now, Shay, you're loving the can.

Okay, let me recap here. Shay lost two units last week. You're minus five and.

A half whatever. Bad. Larry didn't lose anything.

He's up three and a half units and Dylan is now minus seventeen and a half units.

I'm doing to Larry.

Yeah, but you do well in the football serieson when it counts. Yeah, like Larry's doing well post NFL, you're doing poorly post him. Yeah. Yeah.

That uh, that Pacific Pepperdine game that we did last week was hysterical. I watched it too. For about three minutes.

They were down fifty.

I turned it off. It was like thirty two to two.

We could play at Pacific, right.

Yeah, seriously, they would have loved us.

Yeah, you were pretty confident.

Pacific was getting ten versus Pepperdine and they merely lost one two to forty three.

Yes, Ray, fun fact, they are actually the worst team against the spread in the country too.

I think I bet him more than once.

Yeah. I took the money line in that game, also the plus ten, and I was like, fuck it, dude, I like Pacific today.

Thanks for tuning in, folks.

And I turned the game on and it was immediately.

By the way, Dylan and Ray are going with a Seaton in PAULI and myself to Minneapolis. Yeah, I mean, y'all need to talk to me about recommendations. I lived there for a long ass time. I got all kinds of places you can go. I can get you set up too, whatever you need. We don't need to get set up the way you got set up with all

It's that the sane Minneapolis.

I've never been in Minneapolis, but the Saint Paul want is a shit show. There's so many Irish in that town. It gets crazy.

The real deal.

I know it's only twenty minutes long.

Yeah that's Saint Paul. Okay, yes, yes.

Ray, I just checked the scheduler in Saint Paul.

Oh, you are going to have a hell of a time. It's a shit show. I got good friend. It's on Seventh Street. There's there's plenty of bars. They're everywhere you go.

I don't think I'm gonna have to worry about that. We're going to Keeper's Heart.

Yeah yeah, yeah, but there's I mean there's a lot. I got buddy who's got a tattoo shop Seventh Street. Tattoo shout out Sneaky Pete and Joe the Fish. If you don't want to get some work done, Ray for real, Ray and Dylan.

Yeah, maybe rays still tattoo lists.

That is correct.

Yeah, so they can't identify the body.

Yeah to apprec sure this is a girl.

Calm down, he's still transitioning.

Are you like the like Grand Marshal or something.

I think it's gonna be awesome. I got some title here.

You're gonna get carried in like XERK season the Golden Chair.

I wanted a scepter. I wanted something. I heard that on the show that there.

Is like like there'rownose bagpipe bands, have like a spear guy.

There's there's bagpipe bands. There's a cop band. There's all kinds of like it's crazy. Bagpipes make me crying right now, I remember hearing.

Okay, all right, all right, all right, I got I'm recycling my material. I'm sorry, sorry that you've listened to the show. Yeah, I do like the bagpipes. The By the way, anybody uh willing to wager on Aaron Rodgers running for vice president with R F K Junior?

How about the freaking genius telling Pamela Brown, a journalist, about a Sandy Hook conspiracy theory at the Kentucky Derby. You're a famous dude, You're clearly drunk. You find a journalist and you're like, hey, here's the craziest shit I've ever thought of. What the fuck are you thinking? Dude, idiot? Would you vote for Aaron Rodgers r f K Junior ticket? Fuck? No, okay, Dylan, what about you?

I mean, for an entertainment purpose, I would, but from.

It isn't that how we got to the position where we are today.

It's we're a short while away from like the Rock versus Mark Cuban death match up.

I vote for that ticket, I would do. Yeah.

Actually the Rock Mark Cuban looks pretty damn good these days.

Well, who would be the president? Rock Cuban is gonna be in charge of life ship or something. Bat Larry, you have any interest in Aaron Rodgers as the vice president?

I actually like RFK Junior, But that's a Citty City vice president pick. And he he he quoted someone else out there who was just as bad as Aaron Rodgers.

What about Jesse Ventura? But Jesse who was right? Jesse? I'd rather have him than Aaron Jesse back down? What I think? I think it's a body.

He's actually been in politics.

Yeah, he has. He was the governor Minesota.

I had fun playing golf with him one time. Yeah, A very nice guy.

Awesome.

Yeah, and he was im predator.

Yeah. Hell yeah, we're.

We're listening as achievement?

Are you reading page? Didn't he have BoA's that he would wear?

I think they didn't.

They all do that, Okay, bad Larry is the leader in the clubhouse, so uh recapping not you're not good at golf, and uh you did okay with some basketball, so uh yeah, that's that's that's kind of it.

There's second. I looked this morning, Dan, I stayed with my daughter's house last night, and I did my picks this morning. I just bet the four Big East games.

Okay, but don't tell me yet. Wait, hold on, hold on. I got to build up to that, okay, Okay, yeah, uh let's see looking at Shay, I still got some future bets that you have out there.

Kentucky. How about Sammy p wearing the hoodie in honor of chicken dinner? Oh yeah, Winter Winter Chicken Red Kentucky like a book from day one. Hell I I do love Kentucky. Yes, that Tennessee game that was great. That was sexual and violent. Danny right up my alley yes, yes, yes, Marvin. Are you putting money on Kentucky?

No? No, no, no, I'm telling people too. Yeah, I'm telling people put money on Kentucky funnel for Sammy pe All right, uh, Larry, let me see you got big East bets that you have.

We got to say a shout out. Did he take JM you to win that conference? You pumped their ticket the other night?

Did I?

No?

I don't know, Yeah I did. I fucking did I took JM you to win that conference? Where's that money?

Ray?

So that's gonna get paid out when everyone else plays out in the conference tournament?

All right, Bobby doth want my buddies going right back in there?

Okay, all right, bad Larry? Do you wanna? Uh? It was ten nothing Xavier over Yukon. Now it's eleven ten Yukon. Now it's thirteen ten. And Danny Hurley, I don't know if he's happy.

Or if he had a oh yeah.

Okay, he never he never looks happy, Danny.

I know, Larry. Ready to go?

I am dam Okay, you're at the garden right now for the Big East Tournament.

Correct, I'm outside. I'm not going in for the afternoon session. I'm just going in this tier in the nog and finishing the beer I already ordered. I want Yukon minus a fifteen, fourteen and a half, okay, thank you. I have my Providence squad getting eight and a half or nine whatever it wast eight and a half, okay. I want Saint John's minus four against Seaton Hall.

All right. And what was the other game Marquette in Villanova.

Yeah, I got Marquette minus whatever it is, three and a half perfect one unit on each one of them. Dylan and Ray and say, strap a monic, come on in the city.

Look who's talking, Clarry. I don't know if you want them to come down like there's collateral damage. It's it's I went last year and I remember we lost you. I don't know how I made it out of the city.

Honestly, he sounded not confident at all that you were gonna No.

I was at a boar with a red awning. I remember that for a while. Probably one of my buddies passed out during the game in the big tournament, like one of the He's passed out in his seat. It was awesome. Damn. Yeah, that's what happens to Ony caffeine, Danny comfy.

Uh so, Larry, if you want to go back to the bar, we'll let you go back to the bar.

Thank you?

Are you guys?

Good luck? I got a bunch of people in here waiting for me. You can hear you do not? You have you?

Larry?

It sounded like one guy. My girlfriend is just off screen, Larry, She goes to another one.

Guy, one guy?

All right, Hell yeah, I got a bunch of guys waiting, trust me, No one's waiting for.

Bed, like Larry. Can you say the funk out side?

Yeah? Uh shay, Yeah, it's your turn. Okay, buck guys heavy minus one and a half. I got seat in hall plus. If Larry's getting four, I'm getting full.

No, you're getting nuts. Oh yeah, Ray is it four?

Three and a half?

Shaye sent it in early today, So I give Larry a little bit of a punishment because he's been sending it in at like eleven forty five, acting like I don't have another job. So whenever his lines are, that's when he got some Shae sentient early. So that's what he gets.

I bet, that's what I bet. I bet three and a half. Okay, but you won four I'd love four on DraftKings is three and a half when I hit it, Okay.

We'll give yeah, sure for make Larry's he's five.

I got seat in Hall plus at three and a half. But if Larry's getting four in Saint John's, Uh yeah, we didn't. We just established that, Oh did we? Yeah, we just said I meant I meant the fucking Wisco game. I got three and a half. It is three and a half the Marquette game. Then that's what I meant that That is three and a half with Larry. It's why is it four and a half with shit? That's what I hit on Draft Kings.

Same thing I just said before. It's the same type of situation Shae sented in early, Larry sent it in late.

So yeah, but Larry benefits, all right, So should we change it with.

Larry's getting Marquette minus three and a half, Shay's getting Marquette minus four and a half. That seems like Shaye would be getting it.

I'm getting punished.

Hung up on us, So let's give Larry the four and a half.

Now I can't do that, so give me the three and a half, Lair, Then that's what we'll do okay, all right, And then I got the golf holding one on seventeen, yes, sir, plus to fifty. And then I got a parlay because I can't stop losing these fucking things JT and can't lay plus twenty top twenty, I mean plus two.

You think that's why they have parlor. No, because you lose.

They dine out on part they do.

They love parless. Well, I'm not a good gambler this content.

But when you all, you need to hit one.

I got South three on top ten, finish plus eight fifty Sea Woo Kim. Yeah, that's what I said. I don't know if we need to say so well, it ain't North Danny, Well, I know that, but it's just he's got a name. We could have been at one respect the South. That's what I say. Victor hobblin top ten plus three twenty what particular in decades and that's uh, that's it.

Okay to South of your mouth, Dylan lit Korean barbecue.

This is where you get. This is where you get in trouble. Look at all the bets you go.

No, this is this is miss.

Like three pages, it's like two. Okay, here were so stupid.

All right, So I got right now Michigan State minus six and a half against Minnesota, who is the covering machine. I believe Minnesota's up seventy five right now, but I got Michigan State my six and a half. Okay, Texas Tech plus three against b Yu we all know why, Yeah, Sat Bonnie's plus two and Afrigans Loyla Chicago Iowa plus two against Ohio State. And then do Kensney money line versus Dayton plus two sixteen?

Sorry Dan, Okay, you're coming after me.

I just loved Ducaine.

Okay, Keny day Keny.

He was on that TV show Yeah, Californiaation, Yeah, and then the other one X five X.

I guess he's probably more fans for the X Files than California.

I think that his coke star on X Files was hot. Did you see her show on Amazon about the serial killer? It was it was Jamie Dornan her. It was like an Irish English show. It's freaking awesome. It's called The Fall. What's her name? I don't know, Jillian she is. She's got a couple of scenes in this show. Dad, whoa it's called The Fall? Wait? It's good as ship but is she a redhead? What's she? Yeah? Yeah, she's half a ginger for sure. But you're still in absolutely, dude.

Lacking beauty.

Yeah, you kind of go, wait, how does this happen right here?

Just kind of look them up, and they also would panned, like Blake Griffin's dad and his mom in the stands, and you're.

Like, they're just so sad, so depressed.

Last he came out looking like that, And I have to walk with a cane now.

Too, fucking hit dysplasia thirty two, okay, anything else doing?

So we got du Kesney Players Championship. Dan min Wuly top ten plus eight hundred. I think he's already two over, okay, JM top ten plus five hundred, so he's too over.

He loves James.

I do one of these days Dan and you.

Love Justin Thomas and jury betting on.

Him top five plus five fifty. My guy lud the big Oburg top five plus six hundred. He's actually killing it. He was like five under.

He's good. Yeah, he's really talented.

He gets missiles too. And then golf and golf balls. Uh and I got a hole in one in round four specifically. Oh plus, I think there's gonna be a little Sunday Theatrics seventeen.

Seventeen plus seven fifty seven fifty Okay, juicy U anything else?

Shaye? How was in life house? How's the roommate? Roommate's good? Roommate and I are good? You guys are in love? Yeah, totally in love. She had the flu the last couple. You know, it's funny. The night before she got the flu, she was bitching at me about, you know, if she knew I was this kind of man. She doesn't know if she'd have this many kids with me. I don't do anything around the house. I don't have a partner.

Did you get her second purpose?

Yeah?

I infected her with the flu. Yeah. We got parent teacher calms today though, so I'm sure I'll suck it up and lose all my points like that. I like that, Well, you're ready to have another kid? Do you need a boy to put a stem on the apple? I don't need. I mean, I think I think if I have seven kids, will all be girls? I do. I think God's judging if they? Why not? I mean cares more kids? Man, Absolutely, I'm one of four. I'd have four, it'd be no big deal. You know, you get into the five six range,

That doesn't My dad's family is the same way.

Six kids six is good they're all fucked up too.

Who all the Catholic kids?

Wow? Why my siblings are.

Not even a little No, well one is Yeah.

Those odds make sense, though, I'll take those off mathematically.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yes, Ray, you were gonna say.

I say, on top of that, at least the Cowboys are doing well.

This bullshit. I would not normally care, Danny, but the fucking all in shit, the all in Jerry Jones, Stephen Jones bullshit is what's killing me. I really thought I was doing this forty fucking years, Danny, and I was sold again. I was really sold. I was like, holy shit, because we were so close. The talented roster was there, it was there, But then it all in bullshit and they signed one semi good linebacker that used to play for ZIM. There's holes in the DNA. Eddie Kendrick. What

Way, did you see that they posted about signing Kendricks and they deleted all the replies. Cowers allow any replies on their Twitter right now because they're all positive.

I don't know. I mean, I think I am one of many that have gotten sold this year specifically, and are just fat. What the fuck am I supposed to do next year? And why aren't they extending or restructureing DAK and CD. They should do that ship now they'd have twenty six million left in the cap. And all these fucking morons on Twitter and all these media morons are the ones say, oh, you know, they're kind of hamstrung,

Should we bring up Jerry Jones's paternity tests.

I mean, that's obvious. I don't give about He's got kids.

All over the world everywhere.

Yeah, he's like slick Willy they Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. He's been laying him down for decades. We don't know that, I do. I know for a fac I know for a f he used to go into uptown in bars. This is ten years ago. He'd go into bars and he would shut the bar down, buy out the bar, lock the door, and drink until two in the morning with college kids. And every now and then he'd sneak away the a bathroom with a couple of co eds.

They're signing other papers.

Yeah, NDA's and he was getting it in.

You can get your podcast, Shayan Irving?

Does that enswer your question?

Wherever you get your podcast? Shy and Irving coming to a podcast near you? Anything else that needs to be mentioned here?

Uh? Not? After that? I think that about everything.

Next week we may find out that Shyan Irving is going to be a dad.

Again. Yeah, it'd be sweet, Danny. Yeah, welcome God's blessings. I get less and less of them every day. Fucking serious, Every child's a blessing. You fucking weirdos, childless weirdos. Do you think your kids feel like they're blessings? My kids got it on easy Street, Danny, Compared to what the fuck I had to do growing up. They just do whatever the hell they want. They got iPads, they got TV,

Wake up? Are you with a gun on your side of your head?

Hello?

Thanks mama, Thanks for joining us on. Dan Patrick takes a gamble for Ray Bpa for Dylan, for Shay and Irving for Marvin and bad Larry. Our pleasure to serve you, God bless