Episode 184-Thumb Colonoscopy

Welcome to Dad's One Day Clok parental discussion as advised mature content. Beyond this point, we're looking hungry.

What'd you for dinner?

I had this place called bush Fire Kitchen, and I was surf and turf. So I got this salmon and this Jimmy cherry try tip with charred Brussels sprouts and jasmine rice.

M M. Until you started talking about food, I thought you were talking about going down on the producer. No, even at the point where you said surf, I I.

Told I told you. I told you all about that. I told you all about that.

At golf.

That you tried to Yeah, you didn't know.

You didn't tell me I'm telling any of that story.

So he was trying to tell me that, you know, So I wasn't. I had a good day golf wise, overall, I had. I had a really good day, but my driver was not doing as good as it did last time, so I was getting a little frustrated.

He was being a little pissy bitch.

Checks out nowhere near as pissy of a bitch as Dome was that day.

Though.

We got hold on, let me just get to that part a second. But so we get to this next hole, and he's like, hey, so I was fucking Brandy last night and I would put my thumb in her ass and then she screamed and jumped and said that I ripped her asshole. I have like, okay, conversations over, I'm

That'll do it. I was like, no, babe.

I was like, there's no there's no cut here. I was like, there's no cut here.

What it was was it just I ended up pulling a butter and I grabbed another one and just yanked it out.

Needless to say, we were done.

I had the real question though, when this whole thing was going on, were you still rock solid?

Oh?

Yeah?

And then she was like we're done, and.

You're just like you're just sitting there, like, am I gonna do this fucking.

Thing I did to myself? It's fine, it was worth it.

I'm just going to bath fucking jerk off.

Right. Just because you don't want to continue doesn't mean I can't come here.

I don't need you. I don't need you to accomplish what I'm looking for.

Yeah, I've been coming before you, and I'll come after you.

We're fine, all right? Well, uh, that that goes right into my dad jokes. Let's get right into it. What did the pre state to the ultar boy? Nothing? His mother told him not to talk with his mouth full.

Mmm.

I didn't see that one coming.

Mm hmmm.

He was blind too.

He's trying to work miracles, you know, trying that makes sense. He's trying to you know, live his life after hey Zeus.

Mm hm.

Do do you guys? Dad's on dick website four where we know who we are. Do you guys ever read the signs, like you know, landscaping signs and they say like call called Jesus. Do you ever say Heyeseus or do you always say Jesus?

Well?

I always assume, like it's clear as day English, there's no other Spanish in there, right.

I always assume that it's that it's Jesus in those situations, that that it's somebody who's Christian and they're trying to get you, you know, on that same page.

When in fact, there it's really just Haeseus trying to get a landscaping job.

Probably, I guess nowadays you should probably call ice.

Yeah, tea, ice, tea.

That's fair.

Tea.

Dude.

These fucking things are addicting. I never said started eating them.

What are you eating? Pop corners? What flavor is that?

Just holds up the bag barely halfway.

We can see the big old chip, but we can't see what it says.

They're sweet chili?

Oi, I see it now, Okay, okay.

That's why I asked you about my camera because I wasn't sure if you could see the same same ratio of screen as me.

It's the same ratio as it is every time. Now if I click on you usually what will happen is if you click on some of there's a box like on the maybe not I can't find it. There used to be a boxy click and it would make your camera bigger, so that if there was like two people sitting there and the screen was cut off, you click on it and then you could actually see both people, gotcha?

That'd be kind of cool. We could have a contest later after this podcast.

You have a come test.

Dome is out cohol to sleep, but ass naked, and all of a sudden feels a little asshole hair get plucked.

Bitch.

Oh shit, So that louds into my fucking dad's story.

Yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's hear what you got.

All right?

So I get I'm I'm driving into California this afternoon, and I get the urge to go to the bathroom. So I stop about three quarters of the way and I go to a different truck stop than I normally go to. Anybody who drives on the road you know, like people that drive on the road a lot are kind of creatures.

I have it.

You go to the same places. It's it's comfort, it's routine, right, familiarity. Well, I decided to go to a different place this time.

And that's how we started.

Boor boy, was I rewarded.

So I get to this ta I go into the bathroom, straight to the bathroom, b line right, there's a guy sitting next to me in the stall.

I sit down. He's doing his business.

First off, this motherfucker's got flip flops on with these nasty fucking toenail, like super dark feet, dude, which is distracting in its own right.

Okay, a couple a couple.

Of minutes, a couple of minutes into these fucking adventures of ours, because now we're shitting in.

Tandem, right.

I hear this water splashing, and I was like, these motherfuckers have bidets. This is not a nice truck stop. Let me let me put that out there. This is not a nice truck stop. This is not a brand new truck stop. It is an old truck stop. And I hear this splashing, like and it sounds like a kid splashing in a pool, or like if you're washing your hands really hard.

And I look down, I'm like, is this motherfucker got a bidet? And there is no bidet.

There is no source of water that squirts up in your asshole, which leads me to the conclusion that this douche was sitting there taking the water from and he was splashing it into his asshole. That is the that is the only sound that that was making. And so this motherfucker had just taken a ship. I did not hear a flush. I did not hear a flush. There was no flush all there was was the sound of a kid's hand slapping the water like he's fucking playing Marco Polo, and he It was nasty. I wanted to

As it's like it's like biodome when they're trying to smell each other's food out of their fart.

It was so nasty. So I finished my business.

I go to wash my hands and here is this motherfucker over the sink washing his face.

Oh no, dude, I couldn't.

It was so fucking gross. In a million years, nothing like this could fucking get written. And I'm and it happens to find stupid ship like this finds me everywhere I fucking go.

Number one, Where was this Ta truck stuff?

At Linwood?

Normally I go, Normally, I make the right I get, I go to pilot. But this time my brain told me you got to get back on the freeway go in the other direction, so you might as well just get maked easy turn out of this driveway instead of the hard one.

Out of that driveway. Okay, all right, so I went to go somewhere new.

Secondly, is this guy's feet clearly visible or do you have to kind of get out of your way to see his feet?

His feet were clearly visible.

They were on the edge he could he was spread so they were on the edge of the stall.

All right. Last question, did he have one of those funny ass like ear pieces in you know, the drivers?

Washing his face? And I didn't.

I couldn't look at anything but the action of washing his face, So I don't know if it was sitting on the counter or not.

All I pictured was this guy with those big ass headphones on and he's like soaping his face, but also soaping the headphones on his face.

No soap on his hands.

I don't know if the soap was applied prior to me getting there, but there was no soap on his hands.

It's these truck drivers. They wear these headsets like they're from nineteen ninety and a call set.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's a metal band over their head. Yeah, and then like one little earpiece that is barely covering their ear and then a post that comes sticking straight out.

Yeah. Either that or like Bluetooth from two thousand and six.

Right right, first first gen bluetooth.

Yeah.

Well, how was your bot movement? Were you able to get it okay? Or did you get distracted? Like was it just a rabbit turd at that point?

Oh?

No, mine was fucking volatile. It only took ten seconds to come out of my asshole. The rest of it was me.

It's kind of like a long time.

Yeah. That's that includes putting the toilet paper.

Down on the seat, because you know, it starts coming out before I get my The process starts as you close the door to the stall. You turn around, and you go to put the toilet paper down on the seat. You get it everything situated before you sit down. So by the time I'm hovering over the toilet, it's already halfway out.

I just imagined American pie like he's grabbing one.

Little square.

No, that's that's amazing. The Tha Bidet story, Uh mind you. It looks like you're probably filming from a TA truck stop. Right now, one hundred and eighty three episodes, and this is gonna cut right up there. That the don't forgot his laptop. Actually he actually brought his podcast equipment, but it has no fucking laptop, so he's on his phone.

It's right next to me.

For all those who you listening that just saw that.

If only he had an adapter plugging into his phone, make it direct.

That's actually I'm a time we got before your phone dies.

It's plugged in.

Oh okay, good good, I to myself, Ston't how's your.

Weak real quick, chrys labar the king If you're listening, buddy right as some crazy shit story like that you had from driving across country, Oh my god, you got Someboddy damn. But my uh my week was pretty good. Just getting settled into the house. I did have a pretty interesting conversation with Avery, and it just got really fucking dark, like she didn't understand kind of like she was just like speaking logically, you know, and it just

You don't want to be an angel? Jesus. I was like, hey, kids, let's put on I just turned it up and drowned her.

Turned on Cannibal Corpse, like we gotta we gotta lighten this mood up.

Ice pickle Botamie, bitch, let's go shout out to Ceci. Oh my god. But she said I told her lesson unless it was like, what the fuck?

Did she say.

That?

That's kind that actually goes along lines?

Uh?

My.

Sometime this week, I was in the pool after work and it was just me and Ellie and she she's been on this kick since, uh since my father in law's mom passed away, right, she's been on this death kick. So she we were sitting in the cool playing talking and she goes, hey, you know, Dad, I told Nana today that when her and Pappy die, I get to live in their house. And I was like what she was like? But I told them, don't get rid of

Was that? No?

That was really about it? Yeah, that's fuck. Yeah.

I just had to get my part in there because I was like, I didn't you talking about that? Instantly brought that back to my forefront there. My week was pretty good. I I actually I ended up getting a new truck. I couldn't. I couldn't resist myself. He talked yourself into it, talked myself into it. It's a hard bargain, but yeah it was. It was just a right deal, right time, and I've been wanting to truck, So I ended up getting one, paying like just just a little

You know. Okay, what was the APR you got on it.

At three point nine?

Oh hell yeah.

So it's like one of the lowest they would go right now, and then sure, shit, the next day they come out with it wouldn't have been as good of a deal price wise, But then they came out with like a zero interest if you qualify for sixty months on your term, but the price wouldn't have been the same.

You know, there's a lot of like hidden legal shit in that, you know, the zero interest ones. I found out a lot of times with the zero interests, like ten percent of people five percent of people can like call by for that shit.

Yeah.

It's they want like full twenty percent down or more. And they also want you to have like a seven forty plus credit score sometimes even like towards eight, you know, and it's like damn, you know it's.

I think when they're hitting at zero, they really want it closer to eight.

Yeah.

Yeah, the lowest I've ever had, And my credit score at this time was like right about eight and the lowest I've ever gotten was two point flat. Like I never went in for one of those incentive deals anyway, but yeah, the lowest I've ever gotten on a car was two percent.

Yeah I think I was.

I'm like, two point six is the lowest I've ever gotten?

Yeah, yeah, I think the highest GP is actually when I got on the g which was like five point nine.

Yeah. Yeah, sometimes that shit happens. Like I I like, when I got my Honda, I wasn't even paying attention to interest rates. It's like one of those things. I just wanted it and I knew I could afford it. And then when I was going with this truck deal, my brother in law was asking me, you know, some details of the of the stuff. So I pulled it up and I was like, oh shit, I was paying six percent interest. But I actually was never really paying much interest, if any at all, because I was always

Telling me the best way to do a vehicle is to.

Start off with a beater, right, You don't have to. You don't have to make payments on.

Find the car you want or the vehicle you want, figure out what your monthly payment would be, make those payments to yourself yep, every month, and then when you get that, when you get enough to get the car you want, you turn around and you pay the car off, but continue to make payments to yourself. So by the time you want another vehicle, so you're always gonna have a car payment. Yeah, but you're never paying any interest.

So yes, not a bad idea at all. I Uh, speaking of cars too, I the my grandma is stoning in. My grandma when she had passed away. Before that, she had said she wanted to give her car to my son. So well, my mom was out here for Thanksgiving. She had brought it down and it just sat for too long. So all of a sudden the battery died, and which pissed me off more because AJ just put one in.

It was a fucking bell around his neck, jeez.

And then yeah, he just he just like creeped up on me. He's like all fucking stock or like. But yeah, he actually had a battery charger, so he would borrow it and then plugged it in and just put it on the low amp and did it. Ran it for a whole day.

Uh.

And then when I took it off, I was trying to situate it right, and all of a sudden, the things like clang together and fucking sparked right next to my leg. I was like about to get electrocuted here.

I can just imagine you doing a little leprechun hop like ah, yeah.

Pretty much just what I did. Let him hit the ground. But yeah, so I was teaching my son that and teaching him how to hook up the hook up the case. When I called no today, Yeah, I know, we were going to the store. I think I'm trying. I think when you called, we were, Yeah, we're just getting too Walmart. And because we had to get some I wanted to get some fuel cleaner and some stabilizer since the tank's been in there for a while, just to add it and run it and let it, you know, stay clean.

Oh you hook up, I'll fucking tell you this. I found out why the AC wasn't that great in that thing before she left. She took it over to this mechanic, and this mechanic was like, hey, I think this is still the OEM filter that's in the cabin air filter if you ever changed this thing out, And she was like, just the engine filter? Is there another filter change out?

Yeah, well I might have to check that, but I did do that.

Those are changed out yearly.

Yeah, the can on there and added the free on to it, and it helped a little bit, but it's still not quite all the way there really. Oddly enough, it was the passenger side was nice and cool, but the driver's side was not, which was weird. But so yeah,

So that's good.

I mean, ship though, this kid's you know, first car, Like we could all talk about our first.

Cars in signs on Frontiers.

Mine had no a C. My AC was saying, open the fucking vents when you're driving, and if you really want cold there go bag, go buy a bag of ice and tie it in front of the vent yep.

Same mine was, Hey, you want some airless roll down the windows? That's all it was. That's all it was.

That's good ship. So I have some wood? Would you rathers for you? And then I have I have a new game inspired by Dome. So it's not that he'll have like a leg up, but he'll understand it right off the bat before. Just twist to it. Yeah, it is just a twist to it. But until then, would you rather dad style dark and dirty? Would you rather have sex with your partner while their dad provides a running commentary, or have sex with your partner while their mom shows you the family album?

Hmmm, I fucking hate you.

God, God damn it, God damn it.

Well, in my case, it's like, which fucking dad would it be.

We're gonna go with the genetic father, the actual father.

I just mentioned.

Hast seen her since she was like four. It's gonna be awkward, I.

Would say, funk. I would say her mom her photo album. Yeah, yeah, I gotta go with her mom too, because I think a the photo album is small. I see her mom much less.

Yeah. See, I'm the opposite.

But mm hmm, what about you?

But you know.

Which one do you want?

I don't know. It'd be pretty funny listening to Marvin do some commentary.

Comical, dude, I'm gonna take that.

I'm gonna take that.

What you small her ass? He goes, yeah, like what.

Mark Marvin would be comical. Ronda would be critical. She's like, you're not doing it right.

But here's a picture of her. Here's a picture of her from Sadie Hawkins her freshman year.

Here's a picture of her in her horse. Here's a picture of her in her horse.

I'm just trying to help him get turned on.

Mom. Stop, Okay, would you rather it is a fun one, not dirty? Would you rather have twenty one hours in a day? That's it, It's just twenty one hour day. Would you rather have twenty five hours in a day, but one hour every day you must watch airplane safety instruction videos.

The twenty five? Yeah?

Okay, don't yeah, yeah, same.

Just why don't you want to take the twenty one?

It's too it's too much of a discrepancy.

Yeah, there's not enough hours in the day as it is, and I'd rather give up.

Yeah, I'd rather give up one hour versus versus three hours.

Yeah.

Actually, you're not giving up an hour at all.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm giving up one of the twenty four, one of the twenty five, because if it's twenty five, I'm still giving it up.

I'm just gonna that's gonna be my my falling asleep routine. Is going to sleep to that, So then I get an extra hour.

Then go.

Didn't say I had to be awake watching them.

I should, you know, Yeah, uh yeah, okay, all right, I'll let you pass them.

Where I would just have sex while I was doing it every day.

Yeah, you're getting railed in the ass, all right, least get back.

Did you hear the theory that he's actually still alive. There was a thing I don't know if I sent it to you guys where somebody there was there was someone who's working in the prison said that they moved him prior to finding him dead.

I mean, everything's on the table. I wouldn't surprise me, it really wouldn't. You. You know, you throw him into some fucking crazy island in the you know, in the Bahamas, you know, some small ass island where nobody has any fucking clue who this guy is. You throw them over and you know there's ways, there's ways.

Just putting back on his own fucking island.

That's true, nobody's watching it true. All right, there's money's hot hot take, hot take? Did he died a long time ago? And Epstein is really Diddy? Just in in a Diddy suit? Oh h hot take?

Like that Michael Jackson theory that lizard man. Yeah, like somebody killed him and like like that's why he went white and took over his fame career. Yeah, yeah, all right, dom, I was both of you. But I'll ask you first, would you rather get the skin of your dick torn off because it got stuck on someone's braces? Or would you rather get fingered by someone who just ate buffalo wings cause of your insights to feel like fire finger finger.

Before I get my skin ripped off?

Yeah, that's fine. I've shipped out fucking like peppers before. I know that feeling.

Is that one chip challenge that on here a couple of years back? Yeah, it's fine, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know where the gnomes the odd one out here? I am You're the odd one out we gotta get you on something like that because.

Dad or whatever on the chip and and yeah he his skin turned different colors. And yeah, I'm gonna get.

You the gummy bear? Can I get you the bear?

Gets you the bear?

What's the gummy bear want to gain?

It's basically like the one.

Yeah, No, I don't want the hot stuff. I'll do like give me like fermented tofu. Let me throw up everywhere.

Your wife is going to murder you because that's just's gonna that's it's gonna stink up the house. And then can.

I get you one of those fucking bluega eggs? The baby birds? You know what I'm talking about?

I know, I know, Yeah you do that one?

No?

Is that a beak? I guess it is? Yeah, D's talon got stuck in my fucking tooth.

Uh Okay, we were talking about this earlier. So life after death? Would you rather find out for certain that there's a heaven and hell after life? Or would you rather find out for certain that we're reincarnated back into this world after death?

How am I finding out?

Like it just says, find out for certain? So rather have ha it in hell or rather be reincarnated? Right, understanding that, right.

Yeah, that's now the question. The ultimate question is you guys, answer first, and I'll bring this up.

I'd rather be reincarnated, Yeah, because you have a chance to make a better life, Like if you if there's a heaven hell, and you go to Hell, you're fucked.

I'd rather be reincarnated.

Not not because I am worried about going to Hell versus heaven, because I know I'm gonna, but.

Yeah, I'd just rather be reincarnate.

I think it'd be cool because you can do You can be reincard, you can be reincarnated into a shitty fucking you know body like you can be reincarnated into some situation that you don't want to be in, like a sex slave or something.

Dome, Dome gets to heaven and he's standing at the gates, and whoever it is it's supposed to be in charge, Peter, Paul, whatever, God, whoever looks looks right at him, just looks at him dead and I doesn't say a word. Dome doesn't say a word, kind of just shrugs his shoulders and then behind we'll just call it, will say it's Peter behind Peter's shoulder, don't can see a retard licking the window from inside Heaven's ard. Then he just starts laughing and

That me the ultimate buck up, dude, that'd be the ultimate test. Yeah, I'd be screwed.

Can I get a phone call before you said me? He's not gonna believe it.

He's not gonna believe in the picture. On, Hold on, hold on, I got to picture this.

You guys got WiFi up here.

He's a Wi Fi.

So the the odd odd part about that, what would be kind of cool is if you chose the reincarnation right, you don't necessarily get to know how you come back or when you come back, right, because you could in theory in in theory, couldn't you go back in time to be reincarnated? Since time is just a line? Who's to say? Who's to say you couldn't go back? Can and be born in fifteen oh two?

Yeah?

I once read a short story about this guy who died in a car accident and he went and he met God, and God was like, what's the points all this? And he was like, I'm actually training you to become me. But before you can become me. You have to live every single life that's on this planet. So the next stop for you is a girl in Chinese or a girl in China and seven oh four eighty and I was like, huh, that's interesting. First thing he does.

The first thing he does is flick his vagina with some chapsticks.

Yeah, I think I got to go reincarnated as well. I mean, I think my theory, my leading theory is is something along those lines, and we're all just in reincarnation. But I think we had to be everything first, and then the last thing I think is a human being, and then I think something is going to happen. But that's that's my that's my theory on it.

Okay, yeah, okay, this one goes along exactly with that, and then I'll find one dirty one that ended out this one is find out for certain that there is a God and he's judging all of us as we've been told, or find out for certain that aliens created us and they're just observing us like zoo animals.

What was the first one?

Again, basically the same thing, but it's God's judging you.

I think I'd rather I think i'd rather know that aliens that we either came from another planet or aliens created us or put us here as an experiment, versus there was a fucking all power full entity that was just a twat. Yeah, yeah, I think that would make me mad.

Yeah I have this alien one.

No, I would choose the alien one. I think. I think the Jesus one would make me mad.

Oh yeah, I'm along the same lines.

Yeah, okay, that would piss me off because it would be it would be like you, It would be like me, It would be like us knowing that you were sitting up there on a fucking throne, you know, eating fucking Cheetos, looking down on us, judging the ship out of us.

I would be fucking furious with you, piece of ship.

Like this motherfucker ain't no better than us, up there with his fucking orange dick and cheeto fingers, just getting off watching us.

I'm so pissed.

I bet you the mo fucker doesn't wash his hands. That's why he's got cheeto dick.

Yep. M.

But if you were peanuts, right, peanuts, no packing peanuts, packing peanuts. Next time you see a packing peanut, no, lie, taste it. It tastes like a steale cheetah. I'm dead ass, they're safe to eat.

I don't believe you.

I'm not even lying to you.

I said, I think the next time you should, and you give us a little report on it.

Yeah, which one me or him?

Dom?

Oh okay, I'm dead serious. When at my last job, we all did it, we all took a packing peanut and taste it because somebody said that, and I was like bullshit, and I was like, no shit, this thing tastes like a stale ass cheeto puff.

You think maybe they really are just stale cheeto puffs prior to getting the color, maybe getting sprayed.

Yeah, maybe it's you know what it is, it's the cheeto puffs that didn't get made that day because Trump was there to get sprayed, and so they were the rejects.

You know, you know craft singles. There's only one ingredient away from fucking plastic.

Yeah, that's very true. You can light it on fire and it'll stay on fire for a long time. M it'll burn really slow.

Mm hmm. Interesting. All right, this one is right up both your guys' aally ready? Would you rather have sex with the tampon still inside you and have to go to the er to get it removed, or would you rather have anal sex ship on the guy's dick and then try to clean it up with this your sock while you cry?

I guess, tampon, I guess. I guess.

Is the tampon in my asshole? Or is it in my peter.

I'm gonna say, or my dealer joice?

Am I a girl in this scenario where I have the tampons in my vagina?

That's what I mean. In theory, that's what the card would say.

Okay, yeah, you better go get it out of there quick for you get toxic shock syndrome.

I'd rather, I'd rather deal with the ship, but I wouldn't.

You gotta cry. It's the rules, that's the rules.

I wouldn't cry about it, a bitch.

Them's the rules, baby, that the rules.

I would you know, I would.

Watch them cry about it, but I ain't crying about it.

Tampon, give me the tampon?

Really, Yeah, and I've dealt with dick before. It's fine.

Yeah, we know you have.

A deal.

If anyone wants to go listen to it and listen to it, it's somewhere in the back log. But he yeah, yeah, he all over tel and then somebody wiped their eyes on that same ship like it just you know, it's one of those things where it's like.

Pay attention to what you're doing.

My fault, Yeah, wouldn't my fault.

I did what I was supposed to do. I wiped my dick off.

You were supposed to clean your dick off and then wipe it off the towel to get it dry, not ship onto the fucking towel.

That's true. He's got a point.

I wasn't about to wipe this.

I wasn't about to watch my dick in the sink that I brushed my teeth in.

That's you have a shower and to so you'd rather wipe it on a towel that you dry off with after a shower.

You weren't. They weren't supposed She wasn't supposed.

To pick up the towel at least down there.

How about you make like that guy in the fucking bathroom and go wash your dick off in the fucking toilet.

Why not in the shower.

I didn't want to jump in the whole fucking shower.

I like how you immediately went to I didn't want to rinse it off where I brushed my teeth. We just jump in the shower.

I didn't want to jump in the shower either. I didn't want to jump into a whole.

So you were just it wasn't even clean. You just wipe ship off of it, but it wasn't clean.

Yeah, you were just gonna let swamp just the whole.

Looks like swamp thing.

Why is my dick festering?

I wonder it's a complicated night.

Looks like a corn colonel to you.

We're gonna start calling you uncle faster that.

On the next episode. You need to have a black eyeshadow going on.

I wasn't gonna go to bed dirty.

It was still dirty. It was never clean.

It was never clean.

I wasn't going I wasn't going to bed.

Walking through walmarts, I was like, man, that guy smelled like ship to you. Cassie's just like ships you. I can't fucking see, asshole.

She didn't paying attention. What's your next game? Fucker?

All right? Stone? So this this next game was inspired by this text thread. Okay, so Dome sent me this, Uh, I would assume a screenshot like something he saw on then right, So What's this is just a sample for you. What's this the Spielberg movie in the nineties where they put primitive creatures behind electric fences but they end up escaping.

Uh uh, there's two answers for that.

So the answer on this is you're referring to Schindler's List, directed by Steven Spielberg and released in nineteen ninety three.

Yep, yep, that's actually the answer I wanted to go with, and not Jurassic Park.

I don't know if I want to say the next one the Dome, but I'll say mine a man and woman make love on a boat overboard Pam and Tommy Lee sextape. Okay, So we got on this kick of those stories, right, or of kind of movies descriptions, right that are misleading, and so I actually found these ones that are that are actual bad written titles to movies.

Okay, okay.

A girl from Africa is elected queen and breaks her crown.

Uh.

The last King of Scotland.

Dome chance at half point the Lion King. No, No, It'll be Dome's turn next. But the answer was mean girls, m all right, you ready for this one, Dome, it's your turn. A recluse puts children in grave danger for a philanthro for philanthropic means.

Say that.

A recluse puts children in grave danger for philanthropic means.

Willy Wonka.

That's correct, Willy Wonka is correct. Nice, nice, And I will give you the option. Would you like to keep going or would you like Stone to go next?

I don't keep going.

Ahe sattered light shatters the main character's reality the matrix, No, Stone, say it again? A shattered light shatters the main character's reality. That's a good guess, so do that's good guess that.

I want to guess again. I won't take any points for it, but I want to guess again.

Uh, Shindler's fist, No, don't go ahead, guess one word.

The braveable toaster.

Also probably a good guess. It was the Truman show. Oh Stone, you ready.

Yeah.

A boy goes home from the courthouse and is surprised to find a new truck in his garage.

Uh. Back to the future, Part three.

Back to the future in general is correct?

Good? All right?

One to one? Would you like to keep going or would you like to pass the dome?

I'll keep going, Okay.

A gardener goes for a long walk, but barefoot.

Mm hmmm.

Castaway.

No, that's a good guess, though, I like that. No, less of a good guess. Actually, you know what, that is a good guess. But he was not barefoot. He was not barefoot. Uh, that was Lord of the Rings. Oh dome. Oh, young woman is is concussed and fantasizes about becoming a serial killer.

A young woman is concussed this.

One and fantasizes about becoming a serial killer.

Mm hmmm mm hmm.

Psycho No Stone.

Is a black snake, moan no Wizard of oz.

H.

So we're back to I like the description.

But technically she's not a serial killer because she only killed one thing, one person.

That's not Who is the second one.

The house fell on the witch.

That's it. It's the only thing she kills.

And then she killed the other witch of the with the mop bucket.

I'm melting. I'm melting, right, yeah, alright, And.

Then if you read the Dorothy Must diebook, she's fucking Hitler, right right, Yeah, I read though, all.

Right, Stone and a strange daughter is knocked up by her father's namesake.

But is also a black snack ball.

That's a great guess. But I want to give that to you just because.

Damn uh. The Diary of Anne Frank This.

Is the big Lebowski God damren all.

Right, dom drinking coffee, it's still one to one. I believe it's tough, alright. Drinking coffee reveals that everything is a lie. I don't know if you guys will get this one.

The matrix.

No, it's a good guess. That is a good guess, though.

Hm hmmm.

Drinking coffee. I don't know if I've seen him even seen this movie. I can't even think of too many movies where they're drinking coffee.

You said, drinking coffee reveals the truth? Is that, right?

Yeah? Drinking coffee reveals that everything is a lie.

Everything's a love toy story.

Uh, the Jonestown massacre.

No, it's cool, lady. That was the usual suspect. I feel like these next two are pretty easy, Stone, It's on you, right, m h all right, Stone, a man pretending to be a cowboy crashes a Christmas party.

Urban cowboy Dom.

Would you like to stake the steal?

Yeah?

I heard Ah. I thought that was like, okay, I like that. Yeah, because he calls a cowboy. Okay, yeah, I thought it was a little too obvious, but all right. So Domes up two to one and it's it's his turn. Now, I'm sorry, you're up one and a half to one.

One and a half.

Yep, all right, this next one is your turn, Dome. A man without a nose digs up a grave to fetch a stick, and then kills people. Goes killing people who have noses.

A man without a nose digs up a grave to fetch a stick, specifically.

To go kill people with noses.

I have no fucking clue, Halloween, When you say it one more time for me, A man without a nose digs up a grave to fetch a stick, and then goes killing people who have noses.

You said this one was easy.

I thought, I thought you guys both would have nailed this one.

It's gotta be because you're seeing the answer. It's got to be obvious.

Then yeah, yeah, Dracuba, Harry Potter, I mean he's got a nose. It's just in the shape of a snake.

He went digging up, digging up, he.

Did, from Dumbledore to.

That's what threw me off, though.

I thought you guys would both knocked that one out of the park of my bad?

Why bad?

All right, it's back to uh stoned. This is yours. Okay, you're down one and a half to one. A sick child stops playing video games but still feels sick at the end of the day. This one's a tough one.

Following our stars.

No, I'm gonna repeat that, dumb No, Jack, No, that is the Princess Bride ah Ship. All right, don't you.

Ready for this game? Are they playing in Princess Bride? Oh no, it's a kid in.

The very Okay, okay, okay, Fred Savage, all right, dom a tween gives a piano concert in New York City.

Fuck, I watched this movie.

No, it's just comical. It's just comical, I'll say afterwhy it's comical? Uh, big, it is big. It is big, job it is big. It's comical because of the earlier guesses of of Castaway and Forrest Gump on the same answer.

That's why.

Yes, okay, let me pull up, let me pull up mine. So, Dome I think is gonna win unless Stone can nab these two questions from you, Dome. It's your turn. First one. He's just a fisherman trying to hook his next big catch.

Oh, this could be two things.

Well, give me one of them and only one.

I know what you did last summer.

That's correct, I know you did that summer. All right, Now this.

One, I was gonna guess Forrest Gump if I didn't do that one.

That's also a good guess. All right, all right, this this one? Are you ready for this one?

Yeah?

If Dome gets this wrong and Stone gets it right, stone wins. Period.

No, still get.

Some friends head out on a quest and incur magic and monsters.

Say that one more time.

Some friends head out on a quest and incur magic and monsters.

Friends, So many things, so many things?

You got damn right?

Yeah, holy shit, I'm gonna go off the Wall.

Would you act me to add one word to that sentence?

No, No, let me say it's Star Wars.

No, okay, that's a good guess. I feel like I could give you, guys both five guesses each and you'd never get it onward. They're your highness nice.

Yes, I'd never get to your highness. Yeah.

I love that movie.

Magic.

The fucking it gets me every time. But whenever they they come face to face with that fucking bowl and it's fucking raging Dick was hanging out.

Is exactly the writing of this. Some friends head on on a quest because it was a quest to incur magic is right off the bat, the magic motherfucker and monsters, and the whole point of Monster was exactly the menutar. Yeah, God, have.

You have you guys seen The Righteous Gemstones?

No, is a part with Danny McBride and the other guy I can't think of his name.

But I've seen.

But I always see the ifs that you know, It's like, there's so many memes and gifts made.

Out of this.

It's it's it is right in fucking line with anything that Danny McBride's ever done before. It's so fucking wild. Yeah, it's it's pretty fun. I think this last season's.

Kind of gotten a little what what is it air done? Hbo hbo oh okay, okay.

There is definitely a lot of language and nudity. You cannot watch your own kids, got it? Yeah, not even remotely? Drug sex, weird ship. Yeah, definitely an a half hours.

Yeah, I get that.

I get that.

Well.

Yeah, Danny's great, Like I love anything he does. He's been and down, he's to watch That show made me laugh so goddamn hard Danny.

The thing with Danny is a lot of the stuff that he does. Uh, it can take time to enjoy his work because his work is very dry, unique style, not even I mean, I don't know if dry is.

The right word, but it's it's kind of along those lines, like it's very specific. It's a very specific type of humor.

Oh yeah, yeah.

I just watched The Land of the Lost again. It was it was good, the one with him and what's your name? And Will Fairley? I can't remember the girls name. It was good.

I forgot about that movie.

Shit.

Yeah, he was like fifteen years.

Old already, Oh yeah, or more I think older. I think it's still in five seven somewhere in there. Yeah we're old.

Goddamn.

Okay, well what else you got, dumb? Anything, you got anything to add?

I will I will say again. I had a really good time golfing on Friday. It was fun to watch these guys that we were golfing with progressively get shittier as they got drunker.

Oh yeah, and not real, and then we blamed it on the herpes.

And it was fun because, like I there was one drive where I think I started off and.

I completely and utterly shanked one.

And these guys had been pretty spot on that I'd say ninety percent of the time we were with them were They weren't like hitting too far, but they were hitting straight as an arrow for the most part.

You know. The one dude was Glenn or whatever the hell his name was.

Yeah, he's he's probably I guarantee that guy's probably about a five handicap. Walt. The other guy, he's more like a twenty handicap. But but yeah. They were also on their second eighteen holes of the day, right and the team off before us. They had just finished playing eighteen and decided to play eighteen again and then.

And they had been drinking the whole time, right.

The reason that we started playing with them is because there was a group in front of them with five guys and like four kids, and so they were like, if you just want to join with us, and then so then we stuck with them. And then after nine the group in front of them left, but we just decided to stick with them. So, yeah, it's a good time.

Though it was, it was a good time.

Yeah, So I did, even though I fucking forgot everything that matters about my work, I did bring my golf clubs nice.

I never took him out of my car though.

I left him in my car because I knew I was gonna take him this trip. So I'm looking forward to getting away and trying to do something probably.

Tuesday, Tuesday or Wednesday breakaway. Oh good, let's go back to that simulator again.

Or if I'm gonna go to an actual golf course in golf, we'll probably just go to the simulator and practice and trying to learn some shit about my swing.

So simulators, like, hey, you know, I'm not working right today, so.

I got as soon as you walk into simulars like.

Readjust for Jue out to lunch, be back tomorrow.

Yeah, he says, you're a drunk, go home.

Yeah, give it so much gas. Oh, I am sorry. That is offensive. God dang, that shot was fire. Oh I apologize.

Wait all right, we'll go back to gallf Galaxy, golf Galaxy and see if there's any more head covers.

For what?

Uh?

Three?

Would Oh? Okay, all right, that sounds fun. I got one last one and then we can get out of here. Would you rather swallow cum that tastes like piss? Or have your partner actually piss on you?

Uh? I mean I had both, Like I've had both happen.

So it's like which one's the lesser of the two evils?

They're both really the same, you know, like the squirt really is just piss, Like that's what it is, you know.

Oh see, my domask thought that I always tasting like my own com or your cum.

Tastes likes you fucking idiot?

That's wrong with you?

Good?

I got here.

That's a day episode, fucking got bye, see next week later.

Oh I don't have a dirty joke this week.

I just look at your fucking ship, dick. That's that's a dirty joke for the week.

Feel back, Feel back, the foreskin find a current kernel of corn.

Looks like Raven whatever her last name is.

His dick's gotta be like the fucking saucepot after cleaning out gravy that've been sitting on it for like half a day and just like flakes off. Yeah, that's what that's gonna look like. Maybe sprown gravy flaking off.

Maybe take it.