And bread mixture. They were phenomenal, dude. And jalapeno. So it was cheesecrn and bread in the in the inside and deep fried into the super crispy ball on the outside and gooey on the inside.
It was so fucking good.
Nice dude. They were delicious. And then I got this sandwich that had those It had those mac and cheese, bacon, and then three three brisket patties on it, brisket burger patties, and then this mayonnaise, this barbecue mayo. Holy hell, dude, it was fucking delicious.
Where was that at.
It's called Fox Barbecue and Boulder City.
M Okay, yeah it was.
That sounds really really good.
I know I've heard somebody talk about that before.
Grayson wanted just a basic Casadia, so he got just a basic Cacidia. Well, they told him, like, you have to pick a meat, like we don't do just cheese. We're a barbecue place. Like they told him straight out there, like you just needed to pick a meat. So he picked brisk it. So it's a brisket case, dude. These things. These things were as thick as the thickest book I've ever read in my life so.
Like so like a like a magazine, Yeah, highlights magazine, Penthouse?
Can he be Penthouse? He didn't read the ads, he didn't do the row I read.
I did read. I did read the ads an easy writer though, because they were funny stories.
I've heard you talk about that a few times.
Penthouse was not good stories. So all right, you want to just get right into it. Yeah, okay, I'll give it like fifteen seconds. So we started on two minutes.
Yeah sure, yeah, sure.
If you're not going to just put it all this in it.
We can we can do.
Yeah, we can just all for the next five seconds, four seconds, three seconds. I'm gonna shout up in one second.
Welcome to da Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point. Hey, what should people never eat? On the fourth of July?
Mexican food?
Fire crackers.
JPP, that pussy M.
I tried to We got home tooke a shower. I bent over in the shower. I lost off fucking feeling in my face, almost fell almost fell over in the shower, so fucking tired, straight up.
Nice, Yeah, we just get right into it.
So the three of us went to a water park today, Yes, and it was, like, you know, as funny as I think the weather said is only supposed to get up to one o five when we left, even after being in the car for solid five minutes where the air is like fully kicked in and everything, our tempt still was reading like one o nine outside.
Yeah, yeah, it was hot.
It was hot. It was fun, though I'm drained, had a good time.
Mm hmm, you're dreamed, I'm stained.
What did what'd you have for dinner? Stone? Me Alyssa made these like little kind of pizza hot pocket things like she like did like croissant rolls, and then she like filled it with like mozzarella and Pepperoni's and can you start with the first ingredient again? It was like mozzarella and but yeah, he's coming from the guy who got ribs from the Saara desert this week.
I made those, bitch. They were they were.
Oh my god, I'm only gonna make ribs from now on and not like put anything on them just for George.
It was so too so I should I should have cut into them. I made ribs and I sent these two. You have a knife sharp enough a fucking picture? They fell off the bone, dude, I literally pulled the bones out of them. So I sent these two dipships a picture. And the first thing that Jordan noticed was there was no barbecue sauce on them. But they were delicious. There was a nice there was a nice crust on the outside. They were juicy on the inside. They didn't need the
barbecue sauce. Other people in this house that I live in put barbecue sauce on their ribs, and that was fine.
Because they're cultured.
I did not make out. Okay, you have you met him, Jesus fuck, welcome to one. What do we want? Eighty three.
Two? You know, earlier this week I did. I had one more like kind of quarter slab of pork belly, and I wanted to see what it was like cooking the whole thing without cutting it up. So I slathered a whole bunch of rub on it and I threw it on a smoker for two hours until it read one sixty five and I pulled it off, let it rest. I sliced it up, and it is exactly what you want a pork roast to be, like, throw it over
mashed potatoes kind of a thing. Holy shit, Like that's gonna be my new favorite way to like cook pork belly. It's like just like that, that was shit, even like my kid ate the whole thing, like ate a couple of slices. It was fucking delicious.
Yeah, I've always wanted to do burnt ends. That's one way I've wanted to make pork.
That's normally I make hims. I make them like burn ends. But that's what you did when we were up there last weekend. They were good.
That koloo of pork though, Holy shit, like I couldn't stop eating it.
Yeah, it's so good. It's as salt makes you want more. Yeah, well, and it was just so tender and perfect. Yeah, it's so easy to make. There's only a couple ingredients that going in and it just goes in the pot overnight then and you just keep it in the pot and eat it the whole day. Yeah, it's a ship. Yeah, I think that's what.
It's a combo of like that salty flavor. Plus it's just absolutely tender.
It just falls apart, like it was in there for seventeen hours like that when you guys came over that point sixteen hours and it's delicious. It was delicious.
Yeah, so.
Also, I gotta bring up the fact here that Jordan is fucking hilarious at the water park and just says stuff so loud, just talking shit so loud. We this is an example because I can't tell the other ones because they're a little you know, but this one I can say. We were in the little off color, a little off color. We were in the lazy river, right, and there is just this gigantic hog of a woman
that maybe she looked like she legit did. She looked like the penguin, right, And she's like taking up two inner tubes. I thought she was grounding at one point, like her head was like in the water. But Jordan, this is a crowded river, Jordan. And meanwhile, this chick is maybe ten feet in front of us. Jordan goes, Jesus Christ, we got the fucking penguin in front of us, don't we? And he says it's so loud, And I guess it's dandy to Beato's penguin about ten feet in
front of us. Dude, I'm trying not to laugh, right, and I'm over here like I want to laugh so hard. But he said it's so loud, and I was like, oh, my god, you just have to say it so loud. Your wife, who was in front of us, halfway the distance between us and her, turns around and goes, yeah, Jordan's said, it's so loud. And I looked around and there's all these other people around us, like like just heads turned away from us, but you could see on their face they're like, try so hard. I said right
back to her. I wasn't wrong. Look at her looks like the penguin. I mean, but dude, I was just laughing s had. I was like, is that Eddie so hit me a little bit or something like do not know, like how loud your dog are?
You?
Just like, fuck it, we're here, it's outside, it was busy, he's hot. Yeah. I was in a piss river. Yeah, the river piss. Yeah.
I'm telling you, if there was ever a true vaccination to COVID, it's a water park. Oh, go to a water park on a weekend and sit in either the wavepool or like the lazy river.
Yeah, at like three or four in the afternoon when yeah, you're trying to figure out what you're gonna get first, either hepatitis or HPV. You don't know the reason magic Johnson is still alive and me, he's just drinking.
He's just drinking park water. Yeah, that's his real that's his real concoction. We we got in there, the producer and I went into the wavepool. The kids had already gotten in, and she the second the water hits her, she's like, oh no, I got a peet. And I was like all right, and and she's like, now I gonna go find the bathroom. I like, you're in it? What are you talking about? Do you think.
Anybody else here is going to the bathroom?
Did they have those they have those dies where you could get caught, Like, I don't want to catch me pool catching its thirty something years Like I'm telling you right now, we are in Vegas. If there were dies in this pool, it would be a different fucking color the whole pool. I was like, there has There isn't one person in this wavepool that hasn't already pissed. I was like watch this, and I go Grayson, because Grayson was swimming up to it, was like, hey, you pee already,
and he just kind of like froze. He's like uh, and he kind of smirks and he just takes off again. I'm like, see everybody's pissing. I'm pissing right now. I was literally staring at her like I'm pissing right now. What do you want?
It must have been your wave that hit me in the face. Possibly, dude. I just like that wave hit me in the face, and I just smelled asparagus and I was like, oh, like somebody's pea. Water just went my face. Gross.
I had asparagus the other night for dinner last night, and man, I tell you that shit gets here. You're in fast. Oh yeah, it's And then it was like this morning you forget. Like the next morning, I'm peeing and I'm just sitting there. You know, those morning peas are longer, and I'm sitting there. God damn, this stinks.
Yeah. It's like like the older you get, the quicker it hits you too.
Yeah.
Usually if I eat it for dinner, it's that night, like within a couple hours, Like, yeah, so fast, you can already smell it.
I you know, It's it's funny that you talk about
smelly pee because I I was thinking about this. So this is this is our fourth of July episode, right, and one of the topics that I wanted to touch on was what what cryptids were in the United States, Right, I was gonna do I was gonna do it as part of the Jeopardy episode hint hint, that's later and uh And I was thinking when I got to some of these cryptids, I was like, you know what, I was like, I wonder how these guys go to the bathroom like piss and like Bigfoot's piss has to smell
fucking rancid, dude. Oh you know how you know how mountain lions and bears have that distinct smell in their urine like it's you barely.
Get it's like a cat pass like there's they barely drink water as it is they they live. I'm convinced that cats live on a line where they're just barely alive because they're so bad they're riding that line their whole life.
Yeah, So, like could you imagine like the Jersey Devil's piss has got to be lava, right or blood? Maybe? Right? Like the chupacabras and shit, like what is the chup of Kappa pee out?
It's some Mutzurella marinera smell, which it's it's fucking hobo's p that's like three days of not being able to have water sitting in front of a fucking taco bug on spare change. So it smells like you guys ever smelled that pea like a New York subway pee. That's being disgusting.
There's an air now there's a Taco Bell now out by Roses, which is for those listening between Kingmen and Vegas. Roses is like forty five minutes from Kingman to Vegas, or about twenty five minutes thirty minutes from from Vegas to Kingman, and there's now a Taco Bell. I almost fucking stopped because I was the one driving.
Oh yeah, yeah, brand Yeah it looks it looks so fucked up. Dude, we were driving by.
We were talking about it's not even done yet. It's open, but the outside is.
Not even finished, the outside put up yet. No, d it looks all dilapidated, fucking.
Remodeling, Like, yeah, it looks like a remodel, but it's a brand new building. It's like they haven't finished the outside, like stuccoing and ship like that. Yeah, it's already open. They're like, listen, Taco Bell's gotta make money.
Open up the next time I drive through, you're gonna text me and be like, can you stop at Taco Bell and take a cooler with you and just throw a bunch of ship in there. We'll hit it up.
You get here, you stop a tacobot, I'm gonna drop an edible. It'll be perfect timing.
Perfect time the grays we get there, it's gonna be hidden. So speaking about these scriptives, what do you want?
Well, speaking of food, let's let's let's stay on the food topic or sidetrack and the and the grill and the grill. We talked about the cryptids. It's fine. I took it out of Jeopardy. I couldn't. I couldn't figure out how I wanted to word the questions with Jeopardy.
So originally I was was telling aj Originally I was I was actually thinking about asking you guys, what cryptids you think would be the most patriotic, So, like, if you had to pick a cryptid, right, which cryptid do you think would end up being the most patriotic too to the United States?
I mean, I think it's got to be like the Jersey Devil because it's Jersey, you know. Yeah, yeah, Like when I think of chuper Copra. I think of Mexico. When I think of I think of the EDI. I'm like, that could be candid too. It's just the US. Bigfoot could be there. But when you think of Jersey Devil, you can have it without Jersey, you know. And I think of Bigfoot, I think is I think of the opposite spectrum. I think like the South will rise again,
which is also not patriotic. So I think a Confederate Bigfoot or skin Walkers, because you don't really hear about Skinwalker, like you might hear a little bit in like North Mexico, like there's some rumblings of it there, but the majority of that is Central US into appalsha.
I think.
I think Jersey Devil is a great answer. The other one I may go with is maybe Mothman.
That's a good you don't hear somewhere else either, you don't not not not really.
I mean they may have it by a different name, but like Bigfoot's literally in every fucking country, every country, right, Yeah, But but I like Stone's answer first, the Jersey Devil, because it's it's the name, it's you know, what's more American than the Jersey Most pieces.
Of ship the trash can to the east coast. Is someone say, you're not wrong ships. However, I'll say this, there are I've been to the country parts of New Jersey and there's some really nice areas where I was like, Okay, I could see why, like Uncle Roger and Field of my family lives out here. It's pretty It's like New York. You just stay out of the main city and it's actually nice in reality.
In reality Newark like upstate New Jersey.
You mean New York, Newark, Newark, New York pronounced New York. Now it's New York City, is what you're looking for? No, he's he's talking about new I got it. Whatever, New York.
It's so upstate New York, up state God damn, you asshole. Upstate New Jersey is is really is really the only like well at over in the midwest. Atlantic City. Atlantic City is pretty bad too. Yeah, there's but outside of that, Dude, when you start moving towards central Jersey some of the coastal area, and then you kind of start going towards like Pennsylvania a little bit, it changes. It's it's more rural.
I did like the Jersey the Jersey Shore that was a pretty cool beach. It was interesting how it's like not it's not sand like a lot of it's like pebble. It's like stone pebble.
There's portions, yes, there are portions that are like that, and then as you as you go further north, it changes into sand a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.
But but it's not like California beach like yellow no yeah, no, no, no, no, it's.
Like it's like an organ or Washington Yeah, exactly correct, where it's almost like riverbed.
Yeah yeah, yeah in some areas. But so the other thing I wanted to talk about was barbecuing.
Mmm, okay, like what what barbecue cryptids would like?
Yeah? No, well, actually that's a good question. That's a good question. Do you think cryptids would like barbecue? Do you think any there's any cryptids that would actually try.
And cook their food? Bigfoot the only one, right, Bigfoot? Yeah, yeah, I can see him doing like a luau pig, you know, maybe a skin walker. You know, they'll take the skin off and they'll throw them over for test, you know, and just partestip for the rest of the meal. They might do it as they're trying on their new suit, just for shown.
Yes, m oh no, it's the letter. I thought you had a cat sitting on your shoulder, AJ, but it's not. It's just.
That that eddie is hitting you have bowl.
So okay, So barbecue food, right, So to barbecue or not to barbecue? I want you guys to tell me if you would if you would prefer this food barbecued or not barbecued, and if and then also include if you'd try it barbecued if you haven't had it barbecued.
Now, by barbecue, do you mean smoker and or grill or no, I mean cook outside versus cook inside.
I mean grilled grilled, So we're not considering smoker.
Like you either have it grilled or you wouldn't have it grilled.
Correct, Okay, okay, So first up is mac and cheese. Would you prefer to have a mac and cheese cooked in a cast iron skillet on the grill or mac and cheese cooked in the oven or even on the stove top in the oven?
Yeah, just for like simplicity and ease, you know, like it's it's gonna have a better flavor profile for sure on the grill. But at the same time, there's just days where I'm like I don't want to fucking drag out the grill and turn it on, wait for the heat up, you know, all that shit indirect and all that, Like I just want to like turn on the oven, throw it and forget it, you know. Okay, So I would say inside, yeah, gril, yeah, yeah.
If we're When you first said that, I was like, no, you wouldn't grill mac and cheese. But if you're talking about putting it in a cast iron skillet and doing it that way, then sure, grill. Okay, I think you're gonna get a lot more flavor being in a cast iron skillet. I something about the cheese just being a
little a different style melt that way versus an oven. Okay, So I I correlate oven macaroni and cheese to be like, I would just think it would be bland, Like I just every mac and cheese I could think of.
That's oven. There's nothing special about it. That was how I broil. I broil it so it doesn't come out dry because the first couple of times I made it, and I threw it in the oven for like thirty five minutes and it gets dry. But if you just broil it where the cheese on topets melted but still ooby guy and the inside. That's the way to go the.
Just okay, okay, okay, avocado.
Uh is trash? At third option, are you just not avocado fan? I'm not. No, I'm just you like guac.
But yeah, yeah, like blended avocado, an avocado smoothie. You like an avocado smoothie.
No avocado. I I'd be interested to try it grilled. I'd put it at that.
I would too, I would like to try it grilled. I'm sure we'll give it nice little death flavor.
Okay, I'm gonna go to I'm gonna go. Next. Two are gonna be fruits? First one's watermelon.
Yes, it wasn't an avocado already a fruit?
Yeah? Sorry? Three?
Now you mean grill versus just eating it the way you normally do?
Yep, versus just eating it the way you normally do.
Oh, I mean I'd rather have it the way just normal. I don't know.
I think fruit is very very touch and go on grilling. There is fruit like peaches do great, pineapple pineapple pineapple does do great. But I'd still rather have pineapple cold fresh versus a can of it grilled. Depends on the application that it has to go.
We're just talking about eating now, We're just just talking about eating. I'm not talking about using it on top of something. This next one, this next one is specific and I and I'll get into that, but in terms of the watermelon and the avocado, I'm not talking about using it. Well, I guess the avocado you could potentially use for like a guacamole if you wanted to, but it was more just about eating it, you know, adding it on your burger, grill, it added on your burger
kind of thing. Watermelon just eating, just straight up eating. This next one specific. Okay, grilling your peaches for a peach cobbler or not grilling your peaches for a peach cobbler.
I think grilling, and I think that'd be I think that'd be a good try. Yeah, like it.
So can we get back to the avocado though, Yes, what if you smoke the avocado just for a little bit and then made.
Just to like touch it, almost almost like you do an old fashion like just cany.
Like just on hot smoke setting. Yeah, just so it just absorbs all that smoke flavor, maybe even and make it into guak.
Get your grill get your grill hot, get your smoke or cooking your get your your bar is nice and hot, so it sears the avocado first and then like twenty thirty seconds to smoke, maybe five minutes tops. Yeah, I can see that that would be good. I'd be down to you know. I didn't think about that. Yeah, okay, let's go with some basic bitches. What about corn on the cob, grill, grilled, or however you do it. Some people do it in the oven, some people do it
like most. The most traditional way is in boiling water. Right, you put it in boiling water.
Right. Boiling water is great because it strips the dirt out of it. But there is some merit to eating it, like with that dirt flavor, because it tastes like it's fresh from the garden. Yeah, but I think overall I like it boiled like right. Smoked is good too, Like smoking it is really good. But on the grill, I don't know. It's kind of so.
I grew up eating grilled corn, and my family would put you you'd lather it in butter, season it and then wrap it in tinfoil and then grill it that way. And what I did like about that is you would get parts of the corn that looked like it hadn't even touched and other parts that are charred, and the flavors fantastic.
Yep.
But I was just saying this like a weekend ago. I think it was when you when you came over last weekend Dome and it was.
I just like boiled corn. I think it's something to be said about the simplicity of just boiled corn and then some butter and salt. That's it.
Yeah, yeah, and get on board with that, right.
But I'm a I'm all for grilling it too. Fish.
Yeah.
Fish, I'm gonna say grill. I like grilled fish. Grilled fish's bomb. I think the right kind of fish. Sure.
I'm just not a huge, huge fish fan. I love seafood, but I'm not a big fish fan.
And I was let's switch it to shrimp then.
Like there there is one specific fish. Like I'm not a huge fan of salmon, but the way my family makes it with this recipe on the grill, it's like one of the most divine smelling things out there. I wish it tasted as good as it smelled. I get the dill, the shallots, the butter. Yeah, but I but overall fish, I would prefer it no batter than fried instead. Yeah, it's like a light like a light batter and a fry. Okay, really really good homemade tartar sauce. Yeah, fish taco.
Or either a tartar sauce or you make like a fresh pico. Yeah, especially throwing some mango and throwing some pineapple in that in that pico collops favorite things in the world are There's so refreshing.
All right, what about steak.
Grill? Grilled grill, there's there's a lot of merrit up. Oh yeah, yeah, like I do it with like butter and the based all that, but snowhere near is good. Yeah.
Okay, it's like I made so last night with the asparagus. Safeway, I had petite sirloins on sale. Now mind you, these looked more like fucking rib eyes, but they were like size of a ribi inch thick, but they were petite sirloin. And with petite sirloin, if you leave them out for about a half hour forty minutes before you really you just do a little bit of soy sauce and wor chester and then seasoned salt and pepper. Just to let
it soak in that and it just tenderizes it. And I set my smoker to three seventy five and then opened the grate and I cooked them over the grate like five six minutes on one side, four minutes on the other. So most steak on a higher grill would have been for sure, like for sure on the more dun side of medium. These things were charred on the outside and like between rare and like a medium rare in there.
Oh my god.
It was like every time you cut in like the flavor of the same. And it's funny because I love A one sauce like it's just something about it. I love it, like I will enjoy the steak on its own, Yeah, but I love the tang of the A one. So but man, those steaks slap last night I actually had that for breakfast morning. I had steak and eggs at like seven fifteen this morning.
Hell yeah, that sounds good, all right. Last one brownies, I've never had them on a grill. They're good. I've had them. They're good. I would say I wouldn't go out of the way to make them the grill, But if somebody made them on the growd be excited because they are delicious. I've had them on the grill before. They're good.
I'm gonna say I'm open for the trial, but I can't weigh in because I've never had them.
That's it. That's all I got. That's all I got for us.
Well, you didn't really answer much of those.
No, that's not my questions. The weird questions the people don't know. The people don't want to know what I like to eat because they know what I like to eat.
All right, question questions here. Penis like a traditional grilled burger or smashburger in a flat top. Smashburger on the flat top. I have to agree. I think so too. Smash that's magical. It's something about it, like you just said, magical. It is the seasoning locks in and you cook it like fast a fucking tenth of the time. Yeah, it's well done by the time you're pressing the fourth patty. You gotta flip the first one close.
Yeah, it's pretty.
You gotta be fast. You gotta have your cheese ready, you have your buns ready, You gotta you gotta be ready to go.
There is something different about there is something different about the flavor for sure. Yeah, yeah, I would. I would go smash burger ten out of times.
Yeah. I think part of it is, you get it's as hot as a grill is, but all the flavor is getting locked in. Top dog.
You would say it stopped, but all the flavor gets locked in because there's nowhere for it to go because it's on the flat top.
Yeah, so like and then pressing the tallow.
Right, if you press your burger down on a regular grill, you lose all that flavor because the juice just falls out and then it gets dried out by the flame.
Do you know what I started doing as well? I throw in, like I get some like riom tipped your butter, and I throw in like a tablespoon into the mixed taip swim or two into the pound a bit, and like it's like just enough to like make it insanely just especially if you're working like ninety plus lean and throwing just a little bit of.
That so you're adding your you're adding the.
Fat, hm, just a little bit, not a crazy amount in the side of pollodine. Yeah, but yeah, god damn, my mouth's in watering.
Oh fuck you guys, want to take a break. I take quick break. Yeah for Channel D News.
Sure, yeah, welcome back to Channel D News. I'm your host, Squirre Mud. Buttom, I don't know if I said that right, but I tried joining me later. Chips el a quick maybe and a storm of blowing. Maybe could be Uncle Polly, We don't know.
In our first story, as we're wrapping up Pride Month, there's been a lot of a lot of parades going on in La But I just get confused because I thought that the Pride flags were more rainbow and bright and vibrant. All these flags that have been going on have just been like red, green and white with some like bona Fide eagle on it. I don't get it. But Happy Pride Month from Channel D News. That's our first story. Chip, what do you got from the streets?
Are you out in those Pride parades? Chout bro This is Chad April to zero here man. So like Chip like was on a plane back from Iran and then they had to turn around and say go back to the motherland, and like now he's stuck and he was just there trying to see like some great uncle of his. I don't understand, but he was like, oh my God, if you don't do this, and like, I hate you forever. And so I'm in his van. It's cool. Me and the girlfriend split for a little bit, which kind of sucks,
but you know it sucks. Even worse is like I've been looking around at like all the ice raids and stuff, you know, and all the turmoil is going around the world, and I just think if people really stopped like standing on grass so much and really just started loading the grass into like a bong apparatus, the world would be like a much more like round place, you know what I mean. It's like, what, yeah, anyways, don't even get here. I'm gonna go load of the bong. I found his
stuff in mine. I'm gonna keep mine on the stash, you know what I'm saying. It's like I'm gonna get toss her by the end of the river, you know, set up to miss Fairly or whatever that fucking crazy his name is later, you know, a mister Bud Modem whatever you are, Bud, thank you, Chad.
Yeah, ice raids, I don't really get it. This summer's been very mild in my opinion, so I don't know why we're rating all these ice machines. You think they'd have the stock up at summertime. Speaking of summertime, storm, what's blowing in your neck of the woods?
Yeler, squirt. I don't fuck y'all talking about with ice, man. I haven't seen ice in probably fucking sixteen years. Man, My ice machine don't work. Hey, bro, Hey, you guys been seeing what the hell's happening around world lately. You got them meteor balls falling from the skies and floods and chiny higher than the g raft pussy if you're ignorant folk, that's like eight hundred and thirty pigs feet,
you know. I'm my cousin, little Ray Ray. He was telling me that he got a girl pregnant down in Florida. Oh and then all of a sudden, it's hailing in June.
Can you believe that?
Hell? In June? Anyway, the roads down to New York City are getting hotter than hotter than hotter than the sun or some shit. I don't know that they're melting, you know. And then busses are like dropping in them holes. They're called like sink sink holes. I think because you sinking them. I don't know, it could just because all the little neighborhood kids, fucking hoodlums go in there and wash their toes and feeding them like they do the sinks.
But anyway, you know, uh, these buses were dropping in them like ping pong balls inside Miss Johnson's cootie hole at her annual Fourth of July celebration. Oh and speaking of ping pong, did you see Wu chain me on me out that got stuck on the bridge over in China? Could Lord the rains washed away the bridge while he was driving his truck over it? Man, I ain't seen such good fucking hanging on since well my cousin's ex worker. Anyway, the Wu Chang dude was hanging on by the side
the skin of his little Wii wei. And I'm pretty sure that after he got done getting off the bridge they called him Poochang because he probably fucking sold his bridges. Anyway, Summers here is hotter than two strippers fighting over the last shrimp at the Boofet Piggy Wiggy All right, calculated.
Nankee storm, Just remember Wu Chang ain't nothing to fuck with. In our last story, we're heading back to California. The California Highway Patrol officers quickly hoofed it to the scene when more than three hundred ship sheep wandered away from their field in Santa Barbara. The California Highway Patrol Santa Barbara station said on Channel D News to social media that the massive flock of sheep abandoned from their field
near Mountain Drive. Our California Highway Patrol officers quickly hoofed it to the scene and helped the owner round up the wooly wanderers, just to say that sheep ain't the only things leaving California. Keep your shit in Hey a squirt, Yes, yes, sir, he got all the sheep.
Are you sure I can go helping Danny? Help I go help him out, get to one to do and.
I gotta go.
All right, well, just don't go free Palestine on o sheep. All right for Channity News. I'm your host, squirt, my bottom chip, sell it quick. Not here, it's chat. I put April to zero, storm of blowing. We'll catch you next time.
Bye.
Did he just buye?
Is it just me? Or did you guys think that uh storm of blown was gonna start talking about doing like ice, like math like I'm at Ice sixteen years and I was like, holy shit, he did do math spe Oh Jesus, I went to e DC one time. I took this thing called spice. I woke up and the Blasio fucking water is it? Next though, Arden, Oh, don't fuck around with that shit. Yeah, it's just no joke. Done it twice. It was not fun the second time. First time was holy shit. Second time was oh my god,
I'm gonna die. No thanks, It's like twenty minute LSD. It's fucking crazy.
You just had a ghost stick in your mouth. Hey, you guys wanna play some Jeopardy.
As a yes? All right?
You guys know the game, right. We're gonna have three categories. We're gonna have five questions in each category one hundred, three hundred, one and and five hundred. The winner gets absolutely fucking nothing. You want to hear the categories?
Sure do, all right?
First one is Independence Day movie, the second one fireworks Boom. The third is facts about the fourth of July. Okay, so the first the first category is going to be all about the movie the famous Will Smith, Jeff Goldbloom, Independence Day pre Jada, pre crazy ass stage in his life. Second second one is all about fireworks. It's gonna be about fireworks, their history, little known facts, things like that.
And then the third and final, but definitely not the least is going to be facts about the fourth of July and Independence Day and things that relate to it. So, okay, pick a team, any sports team, New York Yankees.
Hey, J. The Panthers nailed it, fucking nailed it.
Go ahead, AYJ, you go first.
You're calling it forever. Cod uh, let's go Independence Day movie for one hundred?
Please? All right? This was used to defeat the alien mother ship in the nineteen ninety six hit.
Movie What Is a Virus?
He was correct?
All right, let's go two hundred.
All right. Captain Steve Hiller's girlfriend gets trapped in what during the attack on LA What is.
A like a tunnel underpass?
Close enough? Utility tunnel?
Utility tunnel?
Yeah, yeah, damn A. J's fucking smoking on. So far.
Let's go three. D Well, you told them with his category today. So he probably went home and watched Independence Day. Well we had to drive home. Maybe, Hey, you can hear it on in the background.
All right, three?
You said, yeah, let's go three? All right.
The US military originally gave its support for the movie, but withdrew it after hearing this about the movie.
What is that it was fake?
No?
What is aliens blowing up the White House?
No? The reference to area fifty one?
Fuck?
Really, I'm dead serious.
Yep, it makes sense.
That's why I was going with something like blow up the White House, like the military can't be about that, you know, like something simple?
Yep, which that is the area fifty one? Something simple? I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, they were upset. They were upset with them using the reference to area fifty one, and as much. It didn't just have to do with it, but it was as much as well.
Sure, sure, oh yeah, it was still really fresh back then, like Bob Bazarre happened like ninety ninety one eighty nine somewhere in there. It was still really fresh when that all that happened. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, that and it's weird because it was like you think about it and you're like, the movie is thirty years ago, and it's like so much has changed in at thirty years just five just the last five years. All right, let's go with the did you say fireworks? Fireworks for one hundred.
Yep, okay. Fireworks were originally used in this country to scare away evil spirits and celebrate festivals.
What is China nice? Let's go fireworks for two hundred.
These fireworks are typically associated with kids and are considered safe, but can reach upwards of one thousand degrees fahrenheit.
What are sparklers?
Yes, let's fireworks for three Okay?
Yeah, evidently when you got to the when you got to I was like, oh, this is sparklers. Then you said the temperature. I was like, I'm still gonna stick with it.
Yep, they get hot as hell, she said.
Popular with kids, and you know kids nowadays a bunch of fucking pussies. So well, that metal rod is glowing orange. That's true. Yeah, that's true.
All right, you said three hundred?
Okay, yes, sir.
This company is reportedly the largest consumer of fireworks globally.
Who is black Cat?
No?
Who is Phantom?
No? I will I think you guys misunderstood the question. I am willing to give you a one more shot. This company, this company, this entity.
Oh okay, well we both got it wrong. But who is Bomart? No?
But you're in a different range. Yes, So who.
Is Caesar's, Disney, Disney Okay, okay, Disney, that's that's good. I like that.
Disney It's Billions.
Yeah it was. They do fireworks every fucking night, bill Yeah, that makes sense. And they do it every single park, right, you're talking about Disneyland, disney World, Disneyland and what Tokyo, France wherever else they have it. I wonder if night. I wonder if like Disney's the main hub and then they have shell corporations that are like split it, like like it goes into like a tree, and that's what each park is.
That's like one of those trick questions, like you guys know who the number one uh uh technically the number one toy store in the world is, you think, But it's not well toy store, it's it's McDonald's.
M that makes sense. You would never think of that. Yeah, right. Anyway, loistically, let's do Independence Day movie for it?
Or please? All right? The role of the United State's president was originally cast for this actor, but the studio execs thought he wasn't star material.
So it's tough.
And it's what go ahead?
Uh or not? What? Who? Who is Denzel Washington? I like it? No, now he was a massive star at that time. Yeah, I just I'm fucking around. I have no idea. That's a good question.
He's white.
Who is Gene Hackman? Close?
Kevin Spacey?
Ah, fucking really Kevin Spacey and his breakout was probably the year after and seven and all that. Yeah, okay, yeah.
Kevin fucking Spacey. Yeah. They originally they wrote all the roles, they wrote the whole role, all the lines, everything for him, and then as they were getting into it, they were like, you know what, you are not star material. We don't like you for this role. Get the fuck out, and they and they swapped it up for what's his nuts?
Spaceballs? Spaceball's that guy. You guys remember that guy that was with bar Yeah, let's go for him. I mean, like placid guy. Yeah, really, okay, you guys, Bill Pullman.
All right, So she got Independence Day five hundred. You've got all the facts about the fourth of July and fireworks for.
Let's go back to fireworks for four hundred. Let's stay on the same path with Independence Day.
Okay. These are used to create the colors in the fireworks.
I know this answer. These are used.
What are.
Fucking beads?
I don't know.
What is phosphorus.
Okay, it's metals and salts, so phosphorus is technically correct in part. So I'll give you two points.
Yeah, I've I've have it.
That to my calculation. That puts him up by two hundred, right, correct, yeah, yes, correct, five to three.
Yeah, let's do fireworks for five okay, all.
Right, this this explorer is credited for bringing fireworks to Europe in the thirteenth century.
This speechy, No, who is Marco Polo?
Ding?
Ding ding? A good job? Nice?
All right, Jordan takes it, boy, he's up by Yeah. I was shocked when I was shocked when I heard that. I was I was shocked when I heard.
That, right, we said, because he loved going to Asia and that was like that was his thing. Because there was a Marco Polo Netflix series like that was one of the first series of Netflix when they were becoming popular to make their own series.
I remember that series. It was fucking great. Well I think I got canceled, but it was great. All right, let's go. Let's hop over to Independence Day facts for one hundred all right, independence, Yeah, this is my face. This is my favorite Independence Day facts. If I didn't say it right.
Facts about the fourth of July, you weren't there? You go, there, you go, sorry, Facts about the fourth of July is okay? You ready got it. Three presidents have died and one was born on what date? Oh?
What is July fourth? Yeap? Did you say three have born or died?
Three presidents have died and one president was born on fourth of July.
I was gonna ask what president? But that might be a question later. Let's go with fourth of July.
Trivia for nine and I didn't write them down?
Oh okay, so what'd you say? Let's stick with the same category for two hundred? Okay?
For the stars on the flag were originally in what shape? To make it appear that the colonies were equal?
What is a circle?
Yes?
What is that? A circle? Square? Triangles? Never break, shut up and get on with it. Let's move on.
Come by number three hundred, number three, number three hundred, or number three hundred. During the first reading of the Declaration of Independence on July eighth, seventeen seventy six, this was rang.
This was what rang? Rang? What is the liberty bell?
You are correct?
Let's go four hundred.
Okay, you just gotta get this you gotta miss it, and she's got to get it. Benjamin Franklin proposed this as the national bird, but was overruled by John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, who wanted the bald eagle.
What is a falcon?
No?
What is the blue jay? No?
I'm surprised to AJA didn't get this. It's a turkey.
It's turkey.
Yeah, dumb motherfucker wanted a turkey.
So all that's left is five hundred and two categories.
Ye, and let's do hold on real quick. You are up so you were up three hundred, so that's six. Yeah, you are up nine hundred right now.
So if he gets both, he wins. Yep. Let's go Independence Date movie five.
Let's go.
I need to get this to stay alive.
This material was used for the goo that the Aliens produced, So all the goo.
Uh gushers.
No, nope, I don't ky jelly.
It was it really jelly?
Yep, it was ky jelly. Yeah, yep.
Ships and Gigs Facts five Okay.
The average age of the signers of the declares I do know this one was what?
Okay, so I get to guess because it would be my turn to pick this question. The average age of the signers for the declaration. Yep, I'm gonna go with forty six years old.
Wow. No, as a hell of a guest, is it forty five? It was between eighteen and twenty forty five? Do you think that Franklin was twenty years old? No? No, the other guys, they were like eighteen year old kids. A lot of them.
You're ready, You're ready.
Of there was like George and Ben and all those guys that were older, but a lot of them were like twenty.
I wrote this down.
There's a lot of young kids in there.
So of the fifty six signers, the youngest signers Thomas Lynch, Edward Rutledge, uh were twenty six years old. Benjamin frank six Benjamin FRANKLINSH shit, I read the fucking wrong oldest at seventy.
Yeah. See, I went with forty six just because we think people were older, you know, but realistically they weren't that old. We were just young and naive. Now look at us. Yeah, well yeah, like I said, forty six, you know, I'm like, most people were probably dead by their fifties or sixties back then, you know, based on average age of life, and they looked older so that's why I went with forty six. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
The shit that I read must have just been wrong though, because it's like a lot of a routween like eighteen and twenty. They were like young kids who like rebelled. But I wonder if it was talking about like those who ran with Washington that were like second command types. Yeah, the revolutionary they were like they were like kids, those guys. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, so does it?
That is our episode of it kids. I hope you learned something adults.
Off me too.
I feel like we'd have to go back and listen to all the fourth of July, which also Happy Anniversary, because our very first episode was a Fourth of July episode, so back in twenty twenty.
Twenty twenty five, five yearss five years man. But I feel like we've done Jeopardy for sure on three of the fourth of July. I think, so yeah, I'm pretty sure.
I feel like somehow we always get a game on fourth of gly and it's usually Jet Jeopardy.
We got to figure out, we got to figure out a way to get our original all episodes back. We're missing like sixty five of them. I got them start six. I wonder, I wonder if we just like signed back into Podbean and just like downloaded all of them and then like threw them into Spotify and was like, hey, guys, can you throw them at the end?
Maybe?
I mean I have him on a flash drive in through uh Spreaker which we're on. Uh, I could upload them all. Yeah, we can try, but that's a big project. B Ward, I'm gonna mail you flash drive.
You know what's crazy is we have to pay Spreaker to have a service where they upload us. Now, we don't pay for Speaker that we paid for it. No, so uh Spreaker Prime that we are on courtesy of the Bleach Bros. Rip.
They got Speaker Prime because they were hitting kind of numbers like we were hitting, and we just ignored Spreaker like we got the emails, but we were kind of teetering because you were going back to school and uh. But the deal was the Speaker Prime that that uh B word and Jake got was as long as you're pumping out content, it remains free.
Oh okay, so they're well, yeah, shit, they're making money off of us. If you listen to our episodes. They fucking pump in ads in there, and so like I thought we were paying for it, and so I was thinking about the other day and I was like, we.
Mad we make money on the on the a little bit of money on the podcast because I look it up the stats and uh, but that goes to like this, Riverside the B word pays for so like that goes to that because there's like three or four other.
Oh that's what it is, it's Riverside. That's okay, yeah, so okay, yeah. Because I was listening to it and the amount of ads they'd pumped in there and the way they pumped in the ads, it was really kind of sucking up our last episodes. I was like, that's that's our own that's our own fault. I'm lazy. I'm too lazy.
When I go in and upload it to Actually, you can put the ad placement yourself.
Oh really, you can pick where it goes because we throw them all up front and no B word his bword his nag bit me before he's like, dude, you really got to do that. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll get that. I never do. There's been a couple of times we're telling stories and like, right as we're getting to by Max boom and goes right into it. And I'm like mother because we didn't set it, so it automatically sets itself. Yeah, on a time thing. Okay,
that makes more sense. Good, that makes more sense anyway. But happy Fourth of July to everybody out there. Yeah, I hope you guys have a safe Fourth of July. Have fun.
Whatever you do, however you celebrate, maybe you don't celebrate greatest country in the world according to some people.
Yeah, I would say some people. Some people would say, but yeah, I'm excited. I always love Fourth of July. It's one of those like just hang out pool, simple barbecue food like maybe hot you know, hot dogs, hamburger, stuff like that, and then we go watch the fireworks here in king Men.
So yeah, but please be safe no matter what you do. Don't be stupid. Please please please your kids. Your kids don't need to see your hands get blown off.
We do if you do it fireworks, but yeah, like, don't don't try to risk it. Oh my god, that one you sent in the chat a couple of days ago, but that just get knocked. Oh my god, she's done.
Oh yeah, oh blow up in her face.
Yeah, and then she slammed her head on the ground as hard as possible. She does a fucking two by four. By the time she h at the ground, she'd even bounce. Do you guys real quick? I mean we have a couple of minutes.
Do you do you have any funny stories with fireworks that pertain to you or things that pertain with fireworks, like like for me, I'll give my my three real quick.
Well, one and two are the same.
I have burnt my lip twice with the fucking punk before because you just get too close, you know, because you're trying to keep it lit, and then you just get and it burns.
Your Oh yeah, God, that fucking hurts. I've done that twice.
The best story though, I think I have told it on this podcas before but throwback.
Maybe it's one of those dead episodes. I love this story.
I was at a lake in Minnesota and big ass circle. There had to be one hundred and fifty people making this circle and us kids are getting in the middle, light and fireworks for the fun shit because when the sun goes down. The guy who ran the party had a Class two I think it was in Minnesota. Class two license, so he had like a forty five minute show that he would put on, but the rest of the time we would just do m eights and Roman
candles and bottle rockets and shit like that. Side note, if you're ever at a lake and you have a dock, the poles that hold the dock, those are great for bottle rockets. You just set them in there and it, you know, perfect cylinder. Anyway, so I put a Roman candle in a sprite bottle, not thinking that the sprite bottle was empty, and so that we all back away.
In the second it shoots the first one in the air and then it fell down and just started spinning and randomly just shooting out fucking Roman candleballs.
At people and they're all standing around it like wow, look at that bike run. Yeah, and I just imagined you sitting there just.
Well, and I'm the degenerate the only season once a year because I'm not from there, you know, because I was with my dad.
So you're the fucking odd ball outger will make it from the city. Yeah. Sorry. All the fireworks that we have at home are illegal because we're fucking gay. Sorry.
Yeah, well, they're illegal because we could end up burning down half the fucking state. That's so goddamn dry.
That's true. I mean, that's true.
I want them. I mean there's one.
Yeah, Well, whoever wants to.
Go first, go ahead. They did.
So there was one story that comes to mind all the time. It's really funny. So I used to live in Minnesota when I was thirteen, and the first uh, like right as we moved there, I spent the summer with my cousins and we're having a great time and uh and then they're like, we let have a bunch
of fireworks and it was just so kick gas. And they were my older one of the cousins justin he's like a year older than me, a year or two, and he was like, Hey, we're gonna get this fucking gigantic metal pipe that's like on the side of the house, and we're gonna dig that bitch into the ground. And the way their beachhead was, they had this this cottage on this lake, and this lake had this like beachhead, but it had this like real steep drop to like you either you had to climb down that or climb
down a ladder to get down to the beach. Right, So we put that motherfucker at the top of the hill, so it's like five feet above the horizon of the lake where the beachhead is, and it's pointing right out into the lake. And we were dropping bottle rockets in there. We're dropping rown the candle like whatever, and it's shooting right out of there, and the other stuff were fishing it out and like putting new stuff in there and
shooting it out right. So we had this gigantic box of bottle rockets Junior got us, and we're just fucking throwing them in there, lighting them off, throwing them the lighting off right, and it was Page, the junior's kid, and justin I'm just saying, there's lighting them off, lighting them off all day long, and like all the parents are inside playing peknuckle or like wherever the fuck they're doing.
And then one of the bottle rockets goes out and goes immediately left and just hits the neighbor's boat that was like a good fifteen yards away from us. It's not next to us, right, goes right in there and it's still going and you could just hear it. And I was like, oh, I thought we set the boat on fire. And I was like we need to get in that paddle boat and we need to paddle our asses to the middle of the lake and make it look like we're fishing. Right, we need to commit like fraud,
like right now, right, we're all accessories. We just need to go. And so like we dipped and we came back like twenty minutes later, and there was no fire, and we were like, all right, let's keep going. And then Page told me later she ran over to that dock and ran to the boat and there was a fucking burn mark like the size of a half dollar. Yeah, and like she took the piece of it that blew apart.
She like got all the evidence. But there's like a fucking like half dollar sized bard mark in the like on the fucking floor of their punts.
It'd be grated if somehow they like they found our podcast and they were listening to us.
They were like, motherfucker statute of limitations. Bitch, I hope you got a new boat.
What about you, dumb Oh I've told I've told my story on here before about me setting the houseboat on fire.
About actually, oh that's right, tell that story again. It's so good.
I mean, dude, the quick version because we're starting to run out of time. Is basically, we decided some some friends and I decided to go down to the beach and we were just shooting off fucking Roman candles into the you know, into the water, and uh, before we knew it, there was a fucking fire that had started. You know, we couldn't really see the boat, and then all of a sudden, we could see the boat, and that motherfucker went down. And we never told anybody. I
don't know if anybody was on it. I don't know what the fuck happened.
Like, what would you do if you found out years later that there was like people inside sleeping and they went down with it?
I would feel terrible? Would I would genuinely feel terrible?
What would you feel terrible for like a minute? Or do you think it would haunt you? Because it was like what twenty plus years ago. It's like at this point, you know, you kind of you kind of like you've already done enough time, you know, at that point where you're like, do I still feel bad about that? I don't know, man, I don't know, Like like to this point, to this day, like with that boat, I'm like I
don't feel bad about it. But then again, it's like if you were to like take someone's life, it's like it's it's a different story, and I'd have to be in the position. Let's tell ghost stories. Yeah, I fucking shut around in the handle and they went down. They went down with the boatmers Ago, they die. I blew up a toad one time with an M eight.
I've done, I've done. I've done potatoes, watermelon, I've done candlopes. No, the watermelon done candlopes.
Where did you get the m DS? Me me, Yeah, this is back in I mean you're talking. This would have been late nineties and in Minnesota, North Dakota they were still legal cherry bombs m eighties.
They didn't become I don't. We'd have to look up true like when they got out lawed and changed like because they did get sounds like aw, but it would have been like two thousand and two. Two thousand and three is when the change happened.
Yeah. So like now they have made hundreds, which are like a quarter of the eights, but it still blows up like an it's just not do those eighties, those fucking cherry bomb m E dude, those those those old school they would.
Take off more than just your hand. Yeah, they would take off more than just your hand. Those the fuckers put out some power. Yeah, they would put out some fucking power. We stole a lot of dumb shit when we were kids, Like we stole We stole the fucking car of hood ornaments. We saw the hood ornaments off of cars all the time. We'd fucking rip them right off. Some ask them. Idiots were fucking wearing them as like
chains and necklaces and ship. Dude, we would throw m eights and dumpsters that got construction sites all the time. And wait, do the big the big construction site dumpsters. We'd toss them over the fucking side. Oh yeah, ship would go find nails would fucking shoot out everywhere we were. We were dumb, dude. We were so stupid, so fucking stupid. Yeah, we were like pirates. We buried stuff we would have.
We had a bunch of porn magazines and alcohol and some other paraphernalia things and that we would hide underneath the dock at the end of the at the end of the street down by the beach. But the water would come up and it would actually cover everything, so like fucking true dumb asses. We weren't paying attention to it at any point in time. If we were in there, if we were there at the right time of the day,
we would have just got fucking swept away. Like if we were sitting there jerking off underneath the dock the water was rising on us. Dude, yeah, living fuck Let.
Me finish his nut first. What I imagine is like these the families, like on the beach, and like a tide comes in, like a high tide, and it just sweeps the fucking easy riders, penthouses out, and all of a sudden, these nudy necks floating, floating in the ocean. Yeah, mommy, what is this?
Wow, she's really hairy, just like you.
Shut the fuck off.
This looks like this looks like Daddy's friend Carol.
Remember that nice girl that took us out for ice cream and he said we couldn't talk about it. Can we talk about it now? We're better?
Dad, Look it's uncle Chuck.
Who fucks Uncle Chuck? Ah, I nobody's got a big dick, all right. Dad's on Nicko episode one eighty one two something to going to one deuces. All right, Bye, catch you next week.
Peace later. I actually had actually had some dark jokes lined up for this, but they all got shot.
That the sun came out. M hm. You guys, you guys know what what black people's favorite country song is Watermelon. Watermelon Crawl by Tracy Bird en Co