Welcome to Dad's on day Clok.
Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point.
Why should the word drool be your favorite word? Because it's rule with a D. No, because it rolls off the tongue.
Oh, I think Marrilu would think it rolls out the side of her face.
Speaking of jewel, do you have a leak core memory right there?
You know? It'd be great as if, Like what if when your family members die, they don't actually get to look over you, They get to look over other family members that are a little bit more distant from them. So, like what if Mary Lou had to watch over us?
You know what I'm saying, Like, do you think she'd at least give some appreciation? Be like the motherfuckers? And then she looks in the mirror wherever she's at and she's like, what do you mean? They make their hamburgers fresh? They don't pull them out of a package and microwave them.
Could you imagine if Mary Lou was still alive? Right, but in her prime is what we knew her. Right, if she was still alive, she'd be like eighty something years old, right, Yeah, I'm talking Marry Lou in like her sixties, right, yeah, fifties, sixties prime Marry Lou. Imagine her now with Instagram videos, watching black people Instagram videos and not understanding the whole chirp sound home in the background.
Oh, I just don't understand why they don't change their batteries. Can you imagine any one of them trying to watch it? Can you imagine like Grandpa come on us, and he's like, I think this guy is just hilarious, and it's like some flaming, like hardcore, like out of the box in June dude, and he's got.
His search bar and it's just nothing but like fucking dudes with cowboy hats and jeans, no T shirt.
Like what if he found Stanley from Chili's and he started following him. Do you remember that? Yes, you remember Stanley? And we were like, fuck, we don't want to get this guy again. And then like he comes by and Grandpa just goes stand. For everybody listening out there, my grandpa was a closeted homosexual man for a long time.
And our grandpa, for people that may have been fucking retarded, it wasn't that closeted.
Hey, I'm gonna go check out fan dango fuck is a lemon party, Jesus Christ, that looks like a you does that look like he's got no gag reflex? Jesus, Why can't you be like that? Wife? God?
Why can't you dick be that big like douche Toche. That's why it's called porn. She does things you can't. My dick ain't that big. Oh that's good stuff. Well, if anybody hasn't figured out his dad's one equals episode one eighty, well, wait, fucking Dome, he misses something. I don't know that one eighty is actually that big of a deal, but it seems like it, right, like one seventy six yaw on yon yon and one eighty right. But I'm here, Nome's here, Stone's here.
I mean, this episode did take a one eighty and there's only two of those true.
I want to tell you this because this is hilarious. I've gotten I was telling my wife at dinner, I've gotten to know Dome so well that his his text to us about forgetting his equipment. I immediately, when I read it, immediately went to my text thread with him, and I said, you forgot in quotes, You've forgotten I know he's not gonna listen to this because he doesn't support the show. In in quotes, you forgot your podcast equipment. How about you just man the fuck up and tell
us the truth? And then before I could say the next statement, he sent like ten laughing cry faces. I said, why don't you just say I brought three kids to California and I'm overwhelmed and we're all in a hotel room and I didn't think this through. Why can't you just be upfront and just say that and we'll be like, hey, no worries, man, we got you. And then he just
sends another like ten laughing cry faces. He's like, well, I mean, you know, come on, And I'm like, why are you trying to sugarcoat it?
Like come on, come on? He said, up a bitch, I know, you fucking asshole. Asshole.
Yeah, he's he's got he's got his two girls that are fourteen and twelve, and one of the twelve year old's friends. So he's got three basically teen girls stuck with him in a shitty part of LA.
By shitty, we.
Mean inland, not like Riyah area, shitty, Yeah, inland where there's nothing else around you so anyway, but yeah, him and I went golfing yesterday, so that was fun. He brought the kids over for a brief moment on Saturday. Let him dolready at my pool. Just as I was getting like, man, this pool is fucking pristine. He brings his fucking turn nuggets in, spreads some generational ash in my pool.
One of my favorite things ever is him like doing handstands in the pool and just falling over and just taking the entire real estate of the pool right, And then all like ten of us that are in there are complaining that he's doing this and this pool is
like no bigger than yeah. And then like we get out and we're hanging there, and then Grayson gets out and sits down and he's all like huffing and puffing, and he's like, I'm just really mad because I'm trying to have fun in the pool and nobody wants me to have fun. And it's like, hey, you know, you can't take up the whole fucking pool right.
For all those listening out there that may be new to the podcast, welcome man. Backtrack to g Nome's pool is a hard sided above ground pool, but it's only like twelve feet across, so it's like a glorified hot tub.
It is. And this kid, this kid is full on, like arms all the way up right, looking like he's reaching for a basketball, like to rebound from shack or some shit, right, just full on like legs sticking all the way out, feet sticking all the way out, taking up the whole circumference of the pool, right, slapping people in the face, splashing the shed of people, feet, hitting people, just taking up and there's like literally ten other people in this little thing, and he just keeps doing it
over and over. And I was getting to the point where I was almost like, dude, can you stop. I was almost at the point of saying something, and then we all got down to chill. Then Yeah, he came out and he was like, oh, we're going there anymore because I don't woman have fun. I was like, oh, Grayson, bless your soul, bless your soul's Yeah, him and Ellie.
Ellie are feuding now. Ellie doesn't like him, and Grayson got all mad at her, and which is just comical because it's like you're ten and she's four. Yeah, it was just Josh looked at me and I just shrug my shoulders. I'm like, I'm not coaching Ellie like she's uncoachable. I'm already to that point. She's uncoachable. And she's in her preteen stage at the age of four, and so her and Grace, I A're just gonna have to fight this one out.
Yeah, And Avery's definitely brought up a couple of things to Avery's definitely, Like on the way home, she was like, why is he doing that in the pool? Like what? Why? It doesn't make any sense to me. Everyone should have their own space. And this is coming from a kid who has like no sense of space sometimes. Sure. Yeah, and she's the one saying she needs space. That's when you know there's a fucking problem. Yeah. And I was like, damn, it's like all right, Avery, true, true that, and tell
us how you really feel. And She's over there like is this mine the same as ours? Probably not, kid, but let's just move on from it. Let's move on from it. Well, how was your week? I mean it was like a pretty normal week, not too much going on. Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there. Father's Day was yesterday.
It's right, I have Father's Day to everybody that's a if you're not a dad, fuck, what are you here for?
Oh? So okay, So I was like I was incredibly spoiled yesterday, right, and it was. It was just such a good day. We went over to my girlfriend's sister's house for lunch. After that, we went and we saw Leelan and Stitch the live action remake, and then after that went out just and dinner, got some delicious proposas, and then I got a massage and then I got ice cream, and I was like, holy shit, like this
is an amazing trifecta of to day, you know. But I got to say, and you're gonna appreciate this so much. No that my beautiful, amazing girlfriend was like, how about I drive and you just have a fun day and that means edible time, right. So I just took a five milligram, nothing too crazy. I just wanted to coast. I'm going to see her family, and shit, I don't want to be super loopy out there, right, So I
take it. We get over there, it's hitting me like as we're getting over there, you know, and we're sitting there and it's like fIF two minutes were like, you know, like where's her mom and dad, and her mom like texted us and was like, hey, we're over at this place. Your dad is getting justin who's her sister's fiance, a
gun safe and we're bringing it over. And so he shows up right and he backs the truck into the driveway and he was like, he was like all right, like I need the boys to come out, and there's four of us. He's like the boys to come out and help take the safe off the truck. And I was like, okay, you know, like a little safe, not too bad. No, it's the legit. It's it's the fucking thirty seven gun safe, Like you put thirty seven long guns in here, right, So this thing is probably like
fifteen hundred pounds easily. It's massive, right, and it's like one hundred and three outside. The metal is hot as fuck. And he's like, all right, let's get this off the truck and get inside, and and I'm like peeking. I'm full peaking at this point, and I'm like, this is not how expected to go. But okay, really, which this is a Satima right now. I did take a hybrid, so it helped me some. But yeah, I was like, okay,
let's just make sure we don't get anybody hurt. And it was like my adrenaline took over and like the edible like washed off and like we got it done. And but it was like crazy because like we're trying to push that thing off the truck and the metal was so fucking hot and none of us could get a grip, and we're on a hill. We're trying to push it up a hill off literally at one point was like fucking Egyptians, Am I right? I wish we knew some fucking Aliens about right now, like Helius did
that shit. But we made it inside and then we sat down to eat, and then as I was eating, is like the edible came back in and hit me in.
The face and I was like, oh sorry, I had to run into the store real quick, but I'm back.
It was so funny. I was just sit there, look at this thing. I'm like at the locker, I'm like, fuck, come oh. But somehow we pulled through. Baby, we pulled through. God damn, that's good. That's good. I love it. Yeah.
I you know, Uh, my week pretty pretty basic. Uh, nothing too crazy. I'm trying to recall if there's anything crazy. Nothing really crazy. My youngest one, man, she's hilarious. She's a she's a super shy kid, which is it's just funny because she's you know, we're past being like COVID babies, but because she stays at home with my wife, because my wife works from home, so she's just really not around a whole lot of people, right Yeah, And and she is like a fainting goat when she or she
turns into a statue. If she doesn't know you, like, she will stare at you and she won't break contact. She won't move, she won't move her hand. She just sits there and just stares in your soul.
She's comical. Though.
My four year old she's just a terrorist. And I can't figure that one out. And my seventeen year old, I hardly see him right now because he's busy working, which is great for him. So it's it's peak summertime here and every day there's pool time. And Father's Day was good. I went golfing with Dome. He showed up to that. Didn't show up to this, but he showed up to that, so you know, fifty to fifty.
We had a good time.
Though it was it was funny one of my favorites of the week, as far as I had some really good shots, played pretty well the first couple holes. I just need to shake the rust off because I did not start good. But we're on the last hole, one of the last holes, and we're Dome sitting about one hundred and fifty out, just dead center, fair away, and he's got a downhill shot. It's like one hundred and fifty to the flag, but it's probably playing like probably
like one thirty. And he's like, so six right, And I'm like, I look at him, I so are you fucking stupid? And he's I was like, okay, So if we're on a par three with the same distance, you're like, I'm gonna use my pitching wedge and he's gonna get it there. It may not be on the green, but he'll get it there. I recommend him club down so that he can actually not have to swing out of his fucking shoes, but he'll get it there at the pitching wedge. And I said, dude, you use a pitching
wedge and you're asking me for a six. I said, don't use a six. This whole plays short from where we're at just fucking use your normal shit and hit. He's like, I'm gonna use my six and I'm like, no, you're not. Fucking hits his six drills the fucking house behind the green and I mean drills the fucking house, to which I just start fucking laughing because I'm sitting
in the cart five yards away from him. So I'm like, if somebody comes out, it clearly me that did that because I'm in my cart just laughing.
You're like, my empathy goes as far as maybe adding one to your handicap, but damn. He grabs a ball, puts it.
Back down, and I said, change your fucking club and don't change it to an eight like I originally told you told you change it to your pitching wedge. And he's like, nah, I'll go with the eight. Hits the fucking brick wall of the house. I was like, this guy can't fucking listen for shit, right. It's like it's like taking a retarded kid golfing, Like if he gets a hold of one, he gets a hold of one, but he just, you know, consistently just doesn't know what
to do and doesn't listen. So it was a good time, though it was a good time. And then I smoked some ribs yesterday and those turned out fantastic, so mm.
Yeah.
I I came across something yeah the other day, and I wanted to ask you this. I gotta pull up my list here. This is like a quick thought. I let's let's maybe say three. But we've talked about wrestling recently, and something came up with wrestling the other day and I was like, oh, you know what we've talked about, like, you know, favorite wrestlers and favorite themes and obviously the
Attitude era, and we've talked about tag teams. We've talked about tons of different things with wrestling, but I don't think we've ever mentioned this. Maybe maybe I'm wrong, but who are your favorite three heel characters of all time?
Edge? That's a good pick. I think he's that's low key, like a super good pick. I think between him and Triple H is like kind of the star typical heel player, you know, where it's like great or Jake to Snake. Jake Sank was a great heel too. Yeah. Yeah, Like I really liked Razor ramone two. Yeah, he was funny, you know, and he just had this the natural heel to him, and he really was like his whole character was just Scarface, you know, which is a heel in and of itself. Yeah, ripped out Scarface.
I still love, like any time I see his Hall of Fames beach, which was much longer than the clip that you see, But the clip that always stands out is bad times don't last, but bad guys do.
And you're just like, fuck you guys, Like, that's such a good quote. It's so good. It's such a good quote. Yeah, but you uh, I gotta go Razor.
I'm gonna go Razor in the three spot. And you know, I tossed hers around when I saw it, and I tried to like not think too much on it because I wanted to be more off the cuff as well. But Triple H was one of the guys that just came to mind because he was he was really a fucking nobody, and then he wins he won King of the Ring and he was still hunter Hurst Helmsley at
the time. He wasn't Triple H yet And it was shortly after that King of the Ring that he kind of vaulted changed his name to Triple H. And then d XX shortly was formed and that just changed and he was he was one of those guys I just couldn't fucking stand. It was like, which makes you a great fucking heel right, Yeah, couldn't stand him because he was good on the mic, good enough on the mic. He was just a fucking prick and it was like, every time I needed that fucker to lose, he didn't
and just a pedigree and he make me mad. I love DX, but I hated Triple H. Hated and that makes him a great heal my number one. And I sum this up in a video game. I was playing my senior year and doing the Royal Rumble. I might have told this story a long time ago on this podcast.
Maybe I did.
Maybe I didn't play in the Royal Rumble, and like SmackDown versus Raw and I'm one of the final two people. Well in that video game, when you get kicked out, you get to stand on the outside of the ring and you can fight each other and you can also like you can swoop people in the ring to distract
him and stuff like that. And so me and this other guy are going and we're in the final two, and I think he was Triple H and I was Stone cold, and we're going and he tries to pedigree me and I reverse it, and we're going, and I finally get my juice bar up to hit the like SmackDown button. Yeah, I fucking hit the button, and I kick him to give him the stunner, and my buddy Gabe fucking reaches in and pulls me and distracts me,
and he's fucking Chris Jericho. And then I get spun back around, kicked and pedigreed and then tossed out of the ring. And I looked at Gabe and I felt so heartbroken, and I was so mad because I was like, I was there, I had the w I had it, and he just looked at me and goes, hey, man, I was Chris Jericho.
I just got to play the part. And I couldn't even be fucking mad. That was the problem.
I wanted to be ragingly pissed off at him, and I couldn't because I was like, he's he's a dick, but he's right. Chris Jericho is like one of the greatest heels of all time. His ability on the microphone, his gimmicks, his side character feels, you know, like he came out with a thing like ten years ago, the you just made the list, and he would get the problem Chris Jericho, which is a great thing is he would get so heel that he would turn face while still being heel.
Yeah, and it's like such a great ability to do that. For me, I always saw Jericho as a baby face trying to be a heel sure, you know, kind of like Austen's. Like Austin was so liked when he was such an ass and.
Yeah he was so he was so heel, he was face, but he never broke character and so he was He was the same with Rock, the same with Rock, same with Rock.
Now.
When the Rock was heel, people fucking hated him at the beginning at the beginning. But Stone Cold was kind of the same way too, because Stone Cold was pretty hated until the Brett Hart incident and that kind of turned stone Cold and then it was weird, weird, weird how he got to the heel turn. But yeah, some of those greats, though, the Rock, stone Cold, I just
I liken them to Jericho. But I think the reason I didn't include The Rock and Stone Cold in the list was because they were so fucking heeled that they were so face most of their career.
Mm hmm. No matter how bad they were, they were still fucking liked. Yeah, And it's it's funny how both years in my list are so similar, with the two and three being the sayings I would put Triple H two and I would put Ramon at three. Jake is like right at number four, sure, and then and then number one is Edge. For me, it was an Edge just such a low key good pick. Yeah. Like Edge was the guy where I was like, I fucking hate you. I hate you, like with a passion. I would like
almost throw my drink at the TV. When I was a kid, I hated Edge, And then later I realized he was my favorite lustler because he made me hate him so much. Yeah, you know, I always thought John Cena was my favorite because I loved John, but it was because I wanted to be John Sure, and I
wanted to I wanted to kick Edge's ass. And in reality, it was like, oh, there's always like a bad guy in me that like wants to be there, and like Edge was like kind of like my fantasy live out of that without realizing it, you know, it was just it was just a bad dude and he was a bad dude behind the stage too, without really trying to be. But like the whole Matt Hardy leader thing was like
that was real, what really happened. Yeah, that was a real thing that happened, and like really spoiled Hardy's relationship and Hardy's relationship with the w W in general. Yeah, and yeah, it was just it was rough. So it was Yeah, I really liked Edge plus fucking best the music, hands down. Yeah, it's it's up there, It's for sure up there.
It may not be the most iconic music when because that's a different conversation. That's three because when you I couldn't. I could see that argument because to me, it's like some of the top ones that if they came on to this day I would start to get amped up and that would be the shattering sound with stone Cold HBKA the second that kicks, if DX were to come out, the second that theme comes on, Like I'm getting amped But but the rated R Superstar theme with alter Bridge
and metal ingis is pretty fucking good. Yeah you think you know me, it's just and then all the fucking shooting smoke. Yeah it you might be right. It might be top three it's for sure, it's for sure. In conversation.
One of my favorite clips is I think it was at TNA whatever wherever he went to, but they had like a super large venue and he was out there and he was kind of like, hey, guys, I know I already retired from WWE, and I'm I'm kind of maybe retiring here maybe not like maybe I'll be here less, but I'm gonna do a little bit stuff behind this,
behind the scenes. And so literally the entire crowd just started, you know, on this day, like out of nowhere, and it was just so powerful, and I was like, that is why it's one of the most iconic songs of all time, you know, as you see people singing the big show song like that, no, like the rock song not really a stone called there's no saying in that right, but his everywhere you go, if like you start saying it, you're bound to get like thirty people around you all
of a sudden start saying that sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Ironically enough, his longtime tag team partner. If I was giving an honorable mention would be my number four spot, which is Christian, because he was to me like a he was like a dollar general version of christ Jericho. Yeah he had it, but he just couldn't get really over the hump. He couldn't get over the hump, right, He just couldn't. He couldn't get over the hump to
maintain superstar status. But man, I fucking loved Christian. Like when I was seventeen eighteen, like right as I was coming to the end of love of wrestling and attitude air was starting to really wrap up. I remember going to an event live in Vegas was like their first time back in like twelve years or something like that, and I was like ten rows from I was two seats off of the ramp and ten rows from the ring, and I was I bought a Christian shirt. I was
all about Christian at that time. I fucking loved it because he was such an asshole, but yeah, I thought that was fun. I was like, Stone will get into this. I s don't like this conversation because we like wrestling, we like to talk about it.
I just thought that was good.
I was like, nobody seems to ever talk about heels, like what's the best heels?
You know? That's like you could go all over the place with me as an adult. Now that's all I want to talk about is heels. Like when I was a kid, I was like, it's all about babyfaces. We're gonna go ahead and we're gonna smite down the evil you know, heels. And now I'm like, dude, the heels is worth fucking you know, like, let's go fucking. You want to be over there with the you know, the two x's on your hands and you're like, yeah, man,
straight edge. You know, it's like not really, I want to be with the guys on the back that are like, you want to hit this fucking weed. Yeah, the heels are back there doing that ship and very mysterio, because it's very mysterio, you know. Uh No, me speaking of like naming your top I have a kind of a couple of random things of a like rank your top five here, you know, just like off spur, right off the cuff, you know. I want you to name a couple of things for me. I want you to name
your top five favorite kids foods. So those are like foods that you normally associate with like kids eating, Like your top five, Like if someone put it in front of you right now, you'd be like, we don't have to cook dinner for adults.
I'll just eat this Okay kids cuisine. Did I just get to list all five?
Yeah? List all Okay kids cuisine.
And it's got to be the chicken nuggets with the brownie, that piping hot, fucking brownie. And I also want the corn. I want the corn that's hot and it's also cold in the fucking middle. Something about that's that's on the list. It's number five. Let's put it number five. Dorito's the the fat doritos. Oh like the three d's. Yeah, that's where it's so good. Uh cool, weird cups.
Og the original og.
Stuff cross pizza because that came out when I was a kid. Uh, it's gotta be on the list. Oh fuck man, number two, number two. Man, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with a movie theme here and go with butterfinger Bebi's for number two. It's so hard thinking off the cuff of my mind could change so much back and forth. But the one thing I tell you I had traded. I'd have traded two homemade lunches for one item back in my day, fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade, ship, I don't even care.
High school.
I had a trade a steak fucking lunch with a side of lobster for a thing of fucking dunk a ruse, M dunk ruse. Ain't no fucking way you give me that little fucking kangaroo shitty ass honey gram gram cracker with that broasting. I'd have traded my left nut for that ship.
You know, I don't know. Part of me wants to try the dunk ruse now. No, but it's good. I don't know if it's still the same. I don't think it.
I think they put crack in it when we were kids. Yeah, now it's like now it's something weird. It's like some gluten free bullshit.
Turnips or something. What the fuck? You know? Hold, here's your dunk roose. It comes with a pride flag. Give me my real ship? Was that? Your number two is at your number one? No dunk cruise number one? Number one, Yeah, I like it. Number two was the butterfinger Bebeses number five. I'm going to agree with the kid's cuisine, uh chicken nuggets as well. God that fucking brownie so laugh. That'd be the first thing I'd eat too, and it would
just be molten hot hot. Number four Dino nuggets. Good call for sure, Oh Shepherd higher nah, I lovely to four for it's a good spot. Number three craft any craft really, but my favorite thick and creamy. God damn. My brother turned me on to that too. He was like, you were other thicking creamy, Like it really does make it really thick, really it does. Like it changes the
it changes the profile of it. Okay, Number two, oh man, number two, I'm gonna go with like the generic like soft served ice cream, and like buffets like where the kids were always absolutely absolutely the kids stop right there because it doesn't matter.
Yeah, it doesn't matter what buffet. It could have been a fifty dollars buffet at the Rio, it could have been a Golden fucking corral, It could have been any buffet and they had the same fucking ice cream machine and you got vanilla, you got chocolate, or you got the swim swirl and then it usually always had like a ten to fifteen condiment bar with it.
Yeah, always always. And you know what's funny is avery is a and that ice cream fucking sucked, but sucked, but it was damn good then, oh so good, especially when you had like brownies and cookies with it and you threw it all in and made just a sludge.
Because brownies were made about three weeks ago. They're a little stale, right, oh yeah, and the cookies stale are the better.
Yeah, but with yeah, absolutely, so goddamn good. That was your number two. That's my number two, my number one. Hot pockets like the og the super crisp butter top that used to flake off. And then you saw the soft and.
You really only had ham and cheese, or you had ham and cheese, had pepperoni. And then I remember they brought him.
Meatball meatball, and then they brought on the line cuisines that had like the alfredo broccoli stuff. See, and that was after my time.
My time was really just the main like three ones, and the meatball was where it was at. It had some weird off fucking taste, but man, after.
School, that was it was. It was good. It was for me. It was the the ham and cheese. And then when they brought the breakfast ones, the original breakfast line, I really those those slapped a sausage one was great. Bacon was okay, but it kind of felt like the bacon was like bullshit, but they actually the sausage one was really good, but the ham and cheese is forever my favorite, forever, my favorite. God damn, that's some good ship right there.
If you could before you go to the next thing. Maybe you don't agree with this take, but I'm gonna say there's only one frozen breakfood breakfast food that is like top tier. I mean, like for me, it is top tier, and then everything else was low it And the most top tier frozen breakfast food is the Swan's two piece of biscuit with sausage Sama.
Yes, yeah, yeah, your mom used to have those. When I went up to visit her at the sixteen something like that, yeah, and she was like, yeah, the schwan Man's coming by, Like what do you want to order? And she had like the old school like form, you know, like, and I was sitting there and I was like, we check out a whole bunch stuff. She was like pick three, and I was like, the root your float ice cream, fucking breakfast sandwiches, we gotta do that. And then I
think I picked like some fucking microwavable dinner. It was like not great, itsign her or some ship, right, but the other two bangers, Yeah, absolute bangers, you know what. Else is a banger. Your top five favorite vacation spots, top five ben or haven't been, doesn't matter. Let's say the ones you've been to. Okay, And if you want to say, like it's on a lake every single time, or it's on the river or ocean every single time, they're going to swim all like wherever, it doesn't matter.
I would say let's go with number five vacation spot. Vacation spot you know there. I'm gonna go in a general essence and say Southern California theme parks, like I'm gonna just encompass them, Disneyland, SeaWorld together, like the Universal. Just going to a theme park. That's a great fun vacation. I look forward to it. Number four would be specifically the beach around that area, like Redondo Beach where my my in law family lives. It's a great vacation. It's
it's just something even about their home. Their home reminded me of of Graham's home, Like.
It's just this just homie, just this homie feel.
And they're literally right off of Pch and it's super fucking busy, but something about being in their yard and the trees are swaying from the wind. It's like seventy degrees outside. It's just fucking it feels like you're on another planet of serene and comfortable.
So let's go there. Number three. I'm gonna go with a water park At number three.
I think I haven't been to one in a long fucking time, But I love water parks, and I would love to go to more water parks, just fully, honest.
I think that'd be great.
Number two would I would just say in general, would be like a lake vacation, you know, one of those lakes in Minnesota. Just if I could get like rent a nice big Airbnb lake house and have close friends and shit for like five days, you know. Some some them were something where you get to like that fifth day and you're like, all right, everybody, get the fuck.
Away from me, right Yeah?
Yeah, like the seven days it's too long, but three days is too short. Yeah, five days is like that right money spot where you're ready to separate from each other, but it's still a great time.
Give me five days at a lake house with pieces of shit that I love. Uh.
And Number one would be going back to Jamaica, like hands down, yeah, hands down, just away from the world, away from reality on a beach. I don't even drink anymore, so you know they probably got good weed.
So yeah, bet all right, straight up, what about you? Hell yeah, number five? I would say number five would be Laughlin, just fun time on the river, you know, hitting the casinos in there and just kind of like day drinking, walking around.
It's such a low key good pick. If you've ever been to the area, you wouldn't understand. And if you haven't, think of Vegas but retarded and yea much older and a lot cheaper, like a lot cheaper. If you went for a whole weekend and dropped a grand, you would have lived like a king. Yeah versus a grand might last you one night in Vegas at a decent place.
Yeah, like you can. You can if you took the time off during the week, right, Like, let's say you took Monday through Thursday, went back on Friday, you get there and Monday through Thursday, your hotel rooms are going to be like forty to sixty dollars a night mm hm. You know, and that's not even at like a cheap place. That's not like a mid level place, and it's not a bad room. And to be honest, You're not even gonna be in there much anyways. You're gonna be on
the fucking river. And most of those places now have closed off their beaches. So another beach access is for people who have a room only, so then you can be on the beach on the river. Bring your chair, bring whatever you want, shit your coolers, and all that, chill in the river, have a good time. That's fun. I love doing that. Number four for me is gonna be uh Dallas. Going to Dallas when I was eighteen was some of the most fun I've ever had. We
just we walked around the town. They had this giant carnival. Funny enough, I had this guy paint me, you know, like those guys that sit there with the spray paint and stuff and they spray paint on the canvas and like fire and all that. So he made planets and it was a Dallas like stars in it. But I had no idea what it was. And I was like, yeah, sure, like I'm out of whatever the fuck this is, but looks cool. And I had in my room for the longest time, and then some may came up him. I
was like, are you Dallas fan? I was like, nope, just look cool. Uh. But but it was just so much fun and there was so much stuff to do there, and the city itself was really cool. It was really fun, really interesting. It wasn't that big, but it was pretty expansive itself, and I would like to go back. Dallas was a lot of fun, especially eating Gator on the road. Fuck yeah, I Gater's delicious. Number three for me is gonna be hands down, going up to see my mom
in Minnesota. But going up to Vargas Lake. Up there, Vargas Lake is a lot of fun. And the difference between that lake and a lot of other lakes is for people who don't really go to lakes that much, lakes don't have sand because it's lake and inland, right, and there's not millions of years of fish crap that is made into sand. Shout out to fish crap. So there's just like a bunch of really smooth or really jagged rock. And sometimes some beaches can be just shitty
up there, right Vargas Lake. They came and they dumped in sand from like the ocean beach, and so they have this whole sand beach there. Dude. It was the fucking shit. That's where I drank those like fucking cut waters and got fucking you couldn't record that night, dude, I am. It was equivalent to eleven beers. It's fucking wild. My mom was like, I think you're fucking hammered. I was like, shout out to the Raunchy Regret podcast. That's hilarious. Oh my god, it felt so bad too. I was like,
holy shit, I'm fucking hammered. But yeah, that was so much fun. Number two is gonna be Carnival. Just going on carnival anywhere on a cruise, so much fucking fun. You're just on a floating hotel and all your food you can eat whenever you want, and you can drink whatever you want. You can bring your own shit if you want. LOOKI if you have a fucking drink, if you have a drink package, you get to twelve drinks
a day. Fuck yeah, Like it is amazing. You can have cruises where like virgin where I think it's only adults, right, so, and you can go up to other ones where you can do other things or go to certain places or cruising is just so much fun because it's just all inclusive. It's all right there. You get your best bang for your buck, hands down, for a vacation and you don't have to drive anywhere. Number one for me though, is always going to be going to Newport and staying at
embassy suites. Like that's hardcore core memories for me. Eating fresh omelets next to turtles, walk like running into a little river they made themselves, and in embassy suites, going to the going to the fucking ocean, swimming in the ocean all day until we got fucking obliterated and burned. That's just that's my number one for sure, hands down. I'll always do my number one. Yeah, it makes sense.
You guys used to go to Newport all the time all the time, and it's a great it's a great spot.
Yeah, it is a great spot. But that's it.
That's one of those like core memories you just can't take away that it just makes you feel.
Good, you know.
Yeah, like like in all honesty, like Loki, Like an honorable mention for me would be if I could go back and enjoy another summer of being a teenager again, of like my my in my three months of summertime, I would get to basically right when it started, leave on a road trip with my great uncle to drive to Fargo and he would go on a trip with his brothers. This would be my grandpa's brother. He would go with all the rest of their brothers and he
would drop me off with my dad. I'd stay with my dad for a month and a half or so and like see the whole family on that side, hang out, have a blast, have fun, come home and still have like another month and a half in Vegas, do wet wild like just just said it was. It was the times.
It was. It was the ship, no bills, no stress, no just living. And that's my keep telling Avery, you know.
And sometimes it was be here at this time, or I'm gonna find you and fucking kill you. And you had to figure out how to find time, Like you had to find a clock. You had to pay attention to it, and you need somebody had a fucking spot. Yeah, at that fucking spot ready to be picked up, you know. And it was just a time time.
It was just amazing. It was so the world was slower and it was so much fun. Much slower, yeah, so much slower. You know. I keep telling Avery all the time. I'm like, you know, whenever she's like, hey, like what you guys talking about I'm like, we're talking about adult things, sweetheart, you know. And she's like, oh, like I want to talk about some stuff, you know, And I'm like, no, you know, like, be a kid, go have fun, don't worry about whatever. Adults. You don't
want to be an adult? You don't. You know. It is equally the best thing in the world, and it's better than being a kid in a lot of aspects, but it is also equally worse and horrible in some aspects than being a kid.
Let me let me break down my day for you as an adult, little child. But we're gonna have some little gnome story time right now. This is for any kids listening. They shouldn't be listening. This is how the day goes. You get up, you don't know why you hurt, but it hurts, and you don't know why you have to get up and go to this stupid fucking job, but you gotta right to make your family happy and
pay your bills. There, you go to work and you do the grind, and then you come home and you come home to a house that just shits on you the whole time there, but they love you. But your kids shit on you, your wife shits on you. You just have you know, you gotta do dinner, you gotta do dishes, you gotta do bath time. And then next thing, you know, you're like, let me wind down, let me
just take this gummy and just relax. And it's a level five fucking clinger that just puts you in a fucking panic attack that you didn't want, just so that you can go to bed and repeat it tomorrow. That's what it's like to be an adult, be a.
Kid, be a kid, have fun, jerk off into socks.
You know.
I gotta say I never did that. I didn't either. I don't I.
Maybe that maybe that was the hype the generation right before me, because I mean that was a thing on American Pie, right but even when American Pie came out, I was only in like early junior high Yeah, so I wasn't quite at that peak level yet, you know, But I don't know, I never I never got behind that that movement.
I don't know. I don't know. Like I always imagined, like if you put the sock over your dick and then you start jerking off, like you give yourself a rug burn, but like if you don't and like you're on the opposite side, were you just holding the lip open, You're just looking to like shoot inside? Like how weird would that look if somebody came in and you're just there just like what are you doing like that? Wouldn't
that just look like so weird versus just lanth like whatever. However, you do your process right, just normally doing it without that, it would just look like I just imagined this thought in my mind of just like something walking in like hold on, don't break my concentration. I'm trying to come inside the song without making inside the sock. I mean, like think about it, like how did this sock start? Right right now?
Like did it start because somebody was like, oh fuck, I don't have any toilet paper, I don't have any tissues. I got this sock. But then it's like then you've got to tell your homies about the sock or is it just collective like that? It's just a you know, natural thing that so many people think about it.
What if you have a big foot and then it leads you to seeking out wide set women. You know, it's true, that's true.
That's a fair point that You've got a great point. Honestly, whit said, ladies need love too.
I have to. I have too.
Funny, would you rather that? I wanted to ask you, would you rather fark glitter or burp confetti?
Fark glitter? I think that actually, hold on, hold on because if I it's just gonna go all my shorts and then it's just gonna get all over and then I'm gonna be wiping and it's just gonna be all Versus if you burp confetti, I can burp and then and then plow it, blow it all over the place and be like you're welcome. Now. If if it was like that with the barts, where it didn't get like caught in my boxers and in my shorts and it just magically came out, then yeah, let's do that. But
I feel like i'd have to go with the confetti. Also, the CONFETI would be a little bit easier to clean up. Yeah, that's a very fair point. Oh and what if, like legit, wherever you saw sparkles, you're like, that's pinky, big eye weight nap.
You know, it would be even better. Though, is like whether you choose sprinkles or or the confetti, the amount of it is based on the size of the yes expectorment. You know, like if you if you burp like this, just logger that had that just down to jug of sprite, it's a massive amount of covetti coming, you know. But if you're just like it's just like two little pieces of covetti.
That just pop out right, you know. Yeah, I think it's fair. Okay, last one.
Would you rather only whisper or only shout for the rest of your life? Either way, everybody's age. They're like, Okay, so my buddy ag is coming to this party. I just gotta tell you, like he whispers like legit, like you can never hear what the fuck he's saying.
Is he retarded? Yes, yes, besides.
The point, but like like like no, lie, he just can't get louder than a whisper. Or on the reverse side of that, Hey, you know, family, I'm thinking about inviting my boyfriend to Thanksgiving for the first time to meet you guys, but I gotta warn you, like he yells at everything he.
Says, damn, how you doing? Hey, you guys, pass me the gravy. Dude, Dude, we're like four fucking people sitting here. This room is like not that big, It's okay. What I think I would have to whisper? I think it would be much easier to get off of, you know, charges of whispering versus charges of shouting. Sure, you know, it would just like like passively make people upset to whisper versus like actively making people upset about yelling. Hear me on this one?
What if you had to conjoined twin and one of you shouted, and what if you whisper?
Can you imagine? Can you imagine if you're just like you just see like a hot fucking piece of ass walking by and you're like, God, damn, you just hear cock like that girl on Instagram? Why did it? I guess swearty guy wasn't me? And with me, you're the only person here. I have a thing on my back and they hit talks ew.
The way I would correlate to somebody that's yelling nothing but yelling their whole life is a two turn.
Tony's mom like.
That's god, she could zero dead so fast every time, you fucking asshole, every time.
Gordy and I love Gordy's one of my favorite people in this world because Gordy is just like, you're such a bitch, shut the fuck up. Like, and he's just so used to it after being with her for like thirty something years. Yeah, you know he's just like like, you're such a bitch, Like, shut the fuck up. You're in new period whatever. Hey, you guys want to take an edible and hangout Like yeah, like all right, It's like you're not even afraid of what she does. No,
the fun would be afraid of that woman. She just yeats me. She just yells, right, she just yells. It's veil threats. She's all bark, no bite. And you know what's funny is his entire start to fandom was that video where he's like bringing the girl in the car and they're like on vacation. Yeah, that was the whole start to that. Yeah, and he's like you want that to be bringing that girl with us? I had Harry Potter one right after than the BAM they launched.
I'm not you know, most streamers or influencers, I would say most influencers I can't get behind. There's something that since the day I watched the two Turn video, I watch every single one that guy fucking puts out. His content is so genuine and it's so good and it's fun. It's dangerous, but it's fun, and it's the level of dangerous that's still healthy for the for.
The most part.
For the most part, having sex on a raft while also tied to a piece of shark bait probably isn't the smartest idea, but but it's hilarious, right, It's like he's taken he's taken concepts of jackass and tasted it in yeah, everyday life and he's got baby girl that duck. I mean, you think about the dream that this guy put out like just some average like you look at his old photos. He was a fucking nerd, right, and
now he's built like a fucking Greek god. Yeah he he apparently he has a hog the size of Florida probably like just fucking enormous fucking handle he's got on him. So yeah, it's good for him, good for him, And like he fucking went on OnlyFans and was like, yeah, I'm about to make that cheddar And there's all these dudes that are out here, like man, if I just got on there to show like my giant cock, like maybe I could make some money, but maybe everyone will think bad of me.
It's like that dude's a fucking millionaire. Now he like funded his own fucking tea business and now he's like booming.
Yeah, you never know where you're gonna strike, and now you can get merch in fucking Spencers from this guy.
Yeah right, like fucking reaches everywhere. I haven't bought any two turn merch, but I want not gonna lie. I want to. I don't want to buy the t's. I want to try the to ease.
I feel like when I watch because I do watch a lot of his brother's videos, because his brother's videos or m yeah is when you see Lisa and Gordy. But I feel like that's his only claim to fameous his parents like he he wants to take off like his brother, but he never will.
Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't have like the originality like his brother does.
No, no, but but him sticking with just fucking with his parents constantly. It is hilarious, like just fucking hilarious because they get so whipped up.
Oh god, did you see the new one with the rats? Yes, rats in there? God, my god, whoever fucking bird that lies.
Down one where he hacked the TV and it was like some emergency broadcasts. Yeah, I told you, guys, I told you, I told you this is gonna happen.
One of my favorite videos is like when they went to a wedding and like the mom was drunk before the reception, even for the mama's drunk before they started, just so amvered? So are you really drunk? For we get there and she's like, shut the fuck up. Who gives this ship? But the grandma though, Hey, the graandma is like one of my focks. Oh my god, right, because she hit the fuck up. It's get blasted. All.
It reminds us of what our grandma could have been if weed was legal when we were younger.
You know what I'm saying. Like I got I got her to hang out with us three times. Three times I got her to take an edible, and let me tell you all, three times she took a nap. She got up and she went, I don't think I don't think it did anything. Oh no it did, did it?
True?
The third time she didn't take a nap. The third time she was actually was I give it to a little bit earlier, and she was having a good time, and and then she did go to bed a little bit early. But I wasn't like anything like crazy, but she was like pretty. She was feeling pretty loose, you know, and she was I remember she gave me this look and she was just like, look, my new show is back on TV and they got a new season, and I was like, hell yeah, Graham's get that ship. Watch
that show. It's gonna be it's gonna be even better, even better. Hell yeah, can you imagine Grandpa? He just stoned as fuck. He's like, you know, buddy, yeah, I'm not supposed to be eating sugar, but I think this time we can. You know. He would have been so bad for our bunchies. Yeah, he was. It would have been it would have been the devil's advocate.
It would have been like midnight and you're just fucking ringing on an edible and heat, and he'd have been like he comes around the corner with keys with his You want to make an apple pie?
Fuck? Yeah, I dude, it's not gonna be ready till six a m. But yeah, I want one right now. Grandpa, if you're gonna go anywhere, remember to take the parking break off. Why can't I go any er than fifty five in the freeway. My dad still to this day is like, oh, like, I almost dropped my fucking car since you got damn grab them fucking ruin the drum brakes. Oh I remember that. I think it cost him like six grand total to fix the brakes. He was so bad.
Oh fucking drove like I think eight miles or nine mile round trip something like that. No, might have been ten ten mile round trip with the brakes fully on and he's on the freeway. Can't get it above fifty five? Can you imagine the sound it was making. Well, I came to a stop rather quick. Goddamn, goddamn.
Oh all right, well, let's wrap this bitch up, wrap it up, don't will probably be back next week. You know, we'll see what excuse he pulls out of his the thaorus. But yeah, episode on, catch you next week. Peace out later. Hey, uh, did you know that Elon Musk is not actually a Nazi?
Huh? Nazi's actually made good cars. I did not see that coming. Thank god you have the dirty joke, because I did not. That was for you, dumb, It was