I'm just gonna I'm just gonna ask did you borrow like your hands move moom or.
Will seconds? I was like, I was like, I was over here, like time in it? How long is it gonna take?
Was an idiot? It was split second the second you came in. I was like, what the fuck are you wearing?
The only thing lower than that collar? Are my standards?
Oh? Not by much.
No.
I saw this video of this dude that was like, I stole my girlfriend's moomoo and I don't know if I'm to give it back toward to be honest, and I was like, this would be funny and I want to put it on for the podcast. And I was like, mar I got pockets. I hear they're comfortable. I mean, to be honest, it's kind of great. I'm gonna lie, not gonna lie.
Nice little breeze, Well yeah, just don't ask me to get up.
I mean, I've seen to the void. That's a big void. Mm hmm.
Welcome to Dad's on Day. Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point, do.
You guys know that chickens can only make one sound? It's because they can't think outside the box.
Nice. Nice.
I guess that's what you're coming in with. So D's on Dequel one sixty nine. I don't I don't even know where to go from here.
I'm doom.
I'm stone baby, Yeah you are?
Yeah, Well, god, I heard I heard a joke from a middle schooler.
So it's my son's my son's friend who I've known since when he was in the womb, right, and so the joke, I don't know, it's uh, I don't know where he heard it, but it was pretty funny. So the this uh, this girl walks into the store and she goes over to the produce. She asked the guy. She's like, hey, do you have any broccoli? And he's like, no,
we don't have any broccoli. So she walks off. She comes back to the produce five minutes later and the same guy and she's like, hey, have you got that broccoli. He's like, ma'am, I've told you we don't have broccoli. So she walks off. She comes back again. He lets out a big sigh and she's like, do you have any broccoli? And he goes listen, can you spell cat? Like is in catastrophe? And she's like, yeah, c a t and he's like, can you spell dog like in dogma?
Yeah?
Dog? What can you spell?
Fuck like?
He's in broccoli and she's like, there's no fucking broccoli. He's like, that's what I've been fucking telling you. Walk away.
Yeah.
I was like that, that's hilarious. That's good stuff.
A panel one time, did you come the con? Yeah?
Yeah, Apparently I'm the person has never heard that fucking joke, but I liked it. So you know, when you live under a rock, you live under a.
Rock, you should get out sometimes get you up some move moves.
Side note, I saw this. I saw this clip. So Dom, I'm gonna ask you the question first. If you two hundred grapes in a bowl, one hundred and ninety nine of them are pure.
Okay, you like grapes, right, yeah, of course? Cool?
Okay, one of them is poison. Every grape you eat, you get one hundred thousand dollars.
How man makes till I die, till I die, until.
I die drops the first grape.
Till I die.
That's a sign that that's a sign that it's time and I'm going till I die.
I okay.
In reality, like in reality, all jokes aside, I would probably quit. How many was it per grape? How many eight thousand per grape? One hundred thousand in one hundred thousand per great? I just won maybe two, maybe two, it's all I need. Okay, that's all I need? Maybe two?
All right?
Because the odds are good, right, like your odds get your odds diminished as you get as you get lower, right.
Well, of course, right that your odds actually increase as you as you keep eating, right, increase the chance of death? Stone, Okay, not grapes. What's the favorite fruit of yours? And then I'll ask you a question.
Mm hmmm, strawberries.
How many strawberries would it take to eat to to not suck domes dick? But you can't throw up?
Mmm? That's hard?
Maybe I got.
Are they big strawberries?
That's fucked up?
Because because I think strawberries are harder to eat than grapes, you can down even if you don't like grapes as much as you like strawberries, you can down a shitload of grapes.
That's true. You'll end up in the hospital from gas thinking you're gonna die because your tell me you hurts.
Eventually, well, eventually you just start shitting your brains out.
Well you're gonna get like fucking I don't know about you guys, but the acid gets to me and I get fucking harpur and like a motherfucker from grapes.
So I back off because the story was a real story, and my mom had to take me to the er because my stomach hurts so bad and we didn't know what was wrong, and then come to find out. Once we were there, they asked, and I ate a whole bag of green grapes.
Can we go back to the question though, because I got I got two bushels of strawberries in the fridge, like those suckers. Can we back upries?
No, stn't all right for real? Instead of grape strawberry, same thing. Two hundred strawberries, one hundred thousand a piece. How many are you eating before you say I'm good?
Is there caveats to the poisoner and know?
Yeah, you fucking die? You die, well not with all poisons, no, No, this poison is you just die. You fall up like in the movies, and you die ten I think ten fare. I think I'd risk it for the biscuit and try and get to twenty. Yeah, just for funds puts.
It at a one in ten chance. Mind's at one in twenty.
Right being taxed, No, it is cash is cash money free?
Then two, two, maybe three from doubt it though I'd probably I'd probably stop it too.
Okay, well, let's let's go in into the weeks. Uh you want to go first downed? Yeah, hell yeah, go for it. My week was pretty normal, not a whole lot going on.
Went over to some friends houses over the weekend, you know, and uh tried a really good Mexican restaurant that's kind of like not quite North Vegas, but you know, around Sumberland up there, and uh it was like, actually no, no, it was more in the east side, so it's like almost like right where the northeast of Mace uh meets the east. And it was pretty good. Like I gotta say, most Megican restaurants I'm kind of like, eh, not really holding my breath for, to be honest, but this one
was pretty good. I gotta say, I'm kind of excited to go there again. Some good ship and Avery kind of likes beans now, which is great because she's a texture person. She gags and throws up on texture including beans, and she was like, I want to try those beans. And she takes a chip, dips in the beans, eats it and goes, can I have that whole thing of beans? And I was like, yeah, here have ad it. Mashed potatoes is NeXT's go get that fiber, the protein.
Some farts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was kind of the extense of of mine. Not a whole lot going on.
Cool cool, don't excuse me.
Oh yeah, kind of the same for me. I've been doing great with eating healthy. I got Grayson on the train of eating healthy and getting some more vegetables in his diet because he needs it. Uh, and he's recognizing it, which is fantastic. He's been a picky eater, which I can relate to because as a kid, my diet consisted of hot dogs, grilled cheese, peanut butter, and jelly bloony. Yeah, like it was the fucking world's worst diet.
Hot pockets, pizzas, bagel bites, pizza, and the pizza was only plain, Like it was just cheese pizza, anything else. Yeah, I'd have six bowls of cereal, you know before I ate any any kind of steak for the longest time.
But yeah, anyway, so he was doing good. We were doing great. We did fantastic different kinds of meals all all week which kind of same in this house. We got him to eat the beans and mushrooms, which was amazing, made this stew which was to die for. It was so fucking good. And then I completely and utterly fell off the wagon. This weekend. I ate an entire family sized bag of gummy clusters nerds clusters by myself. Yeah yeah, I still got your feet, had ice cream, had ice
had ice cream, had some cookies. I don't know what the fuck happened, It just it happened, and then it I couldn't stop. It was like a fucking train literally falling into the Grand Canyon.
So it's a wild thing when you eat those hard candies.
Yep. I woke up this morning and felt like absolute dog shit. So I made myself a shake smoothie with a metric fuck ton of green stuff in it and trying to shock my system with some nutrients because I haven't had it for the last two days. It's been nothing but garbage food.
So partake in the green staff.
Yep, what about you know? I got my nuts clipped, So that was fun.
Oh that happened.
Yeah, that happened on Friday. No, it happened on Friday. They actually the worst part I actually I had to text home this one because it was too funny to wait. But the worst part of the whole procedure was he was working on my right nut, which was the first side. So he's standing on my right side and really cool guy who you know, He's talking the whole time, like kind of keeps your mind at ease, like you know whatever, and he's talking to me and I don't know what
it was because I'm just looking up. But he drops something and it hits my left nut, which isn't numb yet, so it was immediately like a sack tap. I was like, and he was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was like, as long as it wasn't sharp, we're good. I mean, technically, if it is sharp, who cares, because that's why I'm here, right, But I laughed and then we just kept on, so thank you. Yeah, it's
not bad. I definitely, you know, everybody's different, and I would say that I would I would put myself in the same shoes as kind of dome when it comes to pain tolerance, and like when he said how he felt and everything like that, I'm like, that's probably accurate because I've heard other people and they just seem to be a little bit more on the bitchy side and that, and so I tended to think, how, you know, Dome was, you know, going through it, and I was like, it'd
probably not be that bad. And what it's really like is it's like you got a really bad hit to the nuts and it just lingers for a couple of days, just tender and sore, like like I pinched your nut, you know, it's like you go to move them when you're wearing jeans and you pinch it. You're like, oh my god, that's kind of how it feels. But it's not that bad, just ice and whatever.
So you're you're more worried about like breaking. So I was more worried about breaking something like.
I wasn't more worried about peeing for the first time. I was definitely afraid it was gonna hurt to pee, man, which has nothing to do with your nuts, no, but it's just it's all.
Did they did they tell you, did they give you like a certain amount of pumps and they were like, yeah, pump this many times and they come back and do a sample.
Yep, it's in the paperwork. If you're read it, it's twenty four times. It's twenty four ten weeks. Tom Segurra said his was forty. I was like, damn, ten weeks, yeah, ten weeks, twenty four times. I was like, I'm not reaching twenty four times unless I do this myself in ten weeks.
So I got that.
That was the first first three days here, first three days?
Wait, can I test after three days?
Like?
No, you need twenty four pumps?
Yeah, that was two days ago.
Yeah, doom. Are you sure you want to do this the day after you did it? Yeah, we'll be fine. It's like, oh, I didn't start my period. Maybe you should have healed first. Jesus.
Ryan was fucking the day after he got his psychopaths, Like, your fucking nuts, dude, you're absolutely can you imagine each Oh yeah, yeah, did the doctor give you this story about how it's like one in three thousand or some bullshit?
Yeah?
And then and then his eye Now that was the dentist. He went to his eyes have a Seaman dentistry. The uh, the his eyes popped wide when he was asking, you know, do we have kids? How many we have? You know, like, am I sure about this? And I was like yeah, our last one, who's a year and a half old, was an IUD baby.
And he was like, well, okay.
So we're gonna try and we're just trying to hit all the odds here, and I was like yeah basically, so.
Yeah, Well I'm glad everything went well and he didn't slip and cut off the half an inch that you do have.
That's true. I would have been it would have been not just a a grower, like not a shower, but a grower. It's just been a I got nothing, a fucking bob.
It a little aw does your nub wiggle if you get happy?
It's like it's like it's like a boxer's tail. You know, they don't really.
Cute cute.
It's a spirit anyway, Dome, it's your it's your runnown so go for it.
So we we got a new game this week. It is called name That thing starts with two one one one two two one.
That's my answers.
No, uh, hippopotamus diraffe and that.
I thought it would be ironic for me to bring a game to the table that dealt with spelling. So here's how the game goes. It's a start with and ends with games. So I'm going to say this word starts with X letter and ends with X letter, and you guys can give me any word as long as it's a real thing or person or place whatever, and you get the point.
That is how it works.
So I will say something like uh starts with jay and ends with H, and you will both have the chance to go at the exact same time, and you will give me something, and the first person to give me a viable answer wins point. Okay, ready, yeah, stand yeah, I think so comprehend a yeah, I think I think we got it all right. First one up starts with a C and ends with an R. Car Oh, all right, go again, same letters, fools, caregiver. There you go, sure if you got because you guys got it the exact
same time, So we're not giving you both points. So if if you know it's a tie, you just go back at it. Okay, AJ's one up, all right. Next one starts with A b ends with a Y.
Barry Is it barry like burry? These nuts in your face are burry like a strawberry, because I'm curious.
I kind of want to know now too. Don't change your answer, Faggott, all right. Next one starts with an s ends with a T.
Stewart, God damn it, Jesus Christ, we shouldn't play this game.
Clearly, I'm not for this game, all right? The brain anyway?
All right, let me sit back here and admire the movement.
Starts with an F, ends with a K.
Fuck, Frank, shut the fuck up. The power of the move move goddamn?
What else can we say? It's funny? Oh, Jesus all right. Starts with a p ends with an R.
Peter, God damn it, all right.
Starts with an E, ends with an M eminem Jesus, star with an H.
Ends with a T.
Hat all right, making a comeback. Starts with an A, ends with an E.
Mm hmmm, asshole, Yeah, I like it?
Damn it all right. Last one starts with the P ends with the Y.
Probably he like it?
Like it?
There you go, all right, we we have a tie. I'm gonna go back to the one.
We can't tie.
Are you doing? Yeah?
Starts with an F, ends with a K. We're gonna say again or Frank again?
Fact, I'll tell you it. It's the Canadian version, all right.
Nice.
I like that there's something difference different.
I I do feel like, well, I mean, I guess it could depend on stream, but I do feel like being high may actually help that game because you're really just like you could be zoned in on it.
But it also make things really bad, like you a couple episodes ago.
Wouldn't have anyway.
I no, oh no, I wouldn't answered one of those couple of episodes.
No, not even yeah, he would have been over here like yeah.
Uh he turned down the colors. Dude. I sat there staring at my screen for twenty minutes, like I did my refrigerator, but you did Jesus. Speaking of staring at stuff, I hope you guys stared at your movies. Because Dad's Advocate is next up. It is back Ladies and Gentlemen, by popular demand, mainly US. No one else. No one else has asked for this but us. We have wanted to do this, so we picked three movies. Uh. Gnomes is going to be a surprise. I am doing Angels
in the Outfield, Stoned. You are doing How to Train Your Dragon, And we will wait for Nomes.
You just go first and end the surprise, or no stone can go first.
Okay, cool, So how to train your dragon? Fuck Hiccup, that piece of shit. Dam Here's what happened, right, So in their Viking culture, they had a very strict standard of fuck vikings for very very good reasons. You know, you know, the fucking dragons like ate a whole lot
of their people. Fuck them dragons, right, And then one night Hiccup was like, yeah, fuck them dragons, and like, fucking missus, the fucking dragon just like kind of wounds it, and it's like, bro, come on, man, shitty hunter, what is going on here? Like you fucking suck. Nobody likes your inventions and shit, Now you can even do the most basic there, which is defend your fucking place properly. Now you gotta go fucking find it. Because he goes a conscience and it's like, oh, like I'm gonna go
killa blah blah blah, maybe old piece my dad or something. Right, goes out there and just befriends this dragon, this thing that stands for the evil that ate his mother and his dad is actively trying to fucking fight it. And he has the audacity to take that fucking dragon, bring it into his home. No less study, It's kind, be around, it's kind, befriend is kind like it's a dog brother thing.
Ate your fucking mom. It'd be at any sight. All hands on deck, All dragons are gone, dragon des nuts across their heads as I put them, dragons to sleep. But no, Hiccup had to change the ways of his village, change the history, change the trajectory of where they're going. Now. They have so many more mouths to feed. Fucking Thanos is coming in here snapping like crazy, right, like fucking told you. Also, yeah, man, how the fuck are they
gonna feed everything now? All the mouths, the dragons bullshit, all because Hiccup was like, oh, I guess I've a shitty son, So I think I gotta I'm trying to prove myself, when he should have just stayed in the fucking kitchen or wherever the fuck he was at, you know, fucked everything up for everybody. Fuck Hiccup fucked the dragons. The dad was right. I end my piece. I have spoken.
Okay, there was one part in there. Did you say the dragon ate his mom?
Yeah? But they didn't not until number two to be fine old supposedly allegendly okay, allegedly allegedly could be someone else taking advantage of the situation trying to get in the dand's pants. You know, maybe it was the old high school flame, right, high school fla, I'm still in love with him, but not in love with her. So creates his backstory of oh, like, I'm gonna go ahead
and take over this. It's kind of like that movie with like Kevin Kleiner, whoever his name is, he took over the president back in the nineties, like that shit.
Okay telling you all right, okay, fuck it up. Okay, no, sure, I'll go I have a trifecta. So there was I was given the option to do different movies. So I have a movie that's going to lead into another movie, which people have probably heard this theory. But then I have a third movie that it plays into, which I don't believe people have played into. So we're gonna start
and we're gonna kick things off. So Camp Hope, right, So Camp Hope in the movie Heavyweights, a bunch of fat, fucking retarded kids that are no good at anything in life, and but they get to go to this camp, right, and they get to eat to their hearts content, they get to play on goat carts, they gets do all these fun things. They don't actually go to this camp to better themselves, right.
It is advertised that it's a weight loss camp.
It is advertised that way, right. And in the movie. Ben Stiller plays Tony Perkins, which is in the movie a bad guy, right, And he buys the camp funny enough, from Jerry still Er, his dad who plays the character who owns the camp, Camp Hope at the beginning of the movie. Right, And so he buys this camp and he at first plays nice, but he's actually in the right frame of mind. This is a weight loss camp.
It's supposed to be a weight loss camp.
And so he's going to turn it in to a weight loss camp and try and give these kids a better shot at life. And why not, right?
And so.
The kids are clearly the bad guys in this movie. They're addicted to sugar, they lead extremely unhealthy lifestyles. One of the kids, Josh, is incredibly disrespectful when he first meets Tony, and when all Tony wants to do is give the world fitness, these kids desperately need their help fixing their dangerous and disgusting habits. Yet the only guy
who seems to actually give a fuck is Tony. Right, we don't see any more than two counselors in the movie, but the main counselor is a shitty role model for these kids. He's well into his thirties, he's massively overweight, and not only not only that, but mentally he's very weak and demonstrates that when he confides into the campers instead of the campers confiding into him. Let me say that again, this counselor is so low level. By the age of thirty, he had managed to avoid scoring a
point in anything in life. The movie seals the deal at the end with the heartwarming victory for the fat kids, renewed confidence for the fat main character, and Tony Perkins defeated.
But the movie does this a really odd way. Obviously, we said Tony by is the camp but he takes things a little too seriously, and maybe one of the only parts where he's truly the bad guy is where he destroys the blob, the one thing that the kids actually like doing that actually could be considered a physical activity, but he does it as a motivational factor in his mind.
I mean, it could have actually been a safety hazard if you think about it, because there are weight limits to that thing.
Lunch has been canceled due to a lack of vessel, and deal with it.
That's true.
That's one of my favorite lines of that movie.
So fast forward. We know the story. If you've seen Heavyweights. If you haven't seen the Heavyweights, I don't know why you're listening to this podcast. Stop it. Go watch Heavyweights, enjoy yourself. But but know that Tony Perkins is the
good guy. So what happens is he goes off the deep end from being captured by these kids and tortured by these kids all for just doing what he wants to do to help them out, right, And so what happens is his dad, Tony Perkins Senior, has to come and rescue him and basically turn the camp back over to the Fat Fox and go from there. Well, the movie ends there, right, But what doesn't What people don't know is that that Tony Perkins is so junior, is
so distraught that he goes into hiding. He gains a massive amount of fucking weight, and because he just can't handle himself, anymore, and then his dad passes away, and when his dad passes away, he gains this fortune. And when he gains the fortune, he decides he's going to rebrand himself, rename himself, and put himself back out to the world and try and get the world back into a better motivational shape. And so he changes his name
to White Goodman. He changes his Tony Perkins logo to the same logo with a couple extra arms, and he opens up a massive gym called Globojim and he tries to make everybody better. We're better than you, and we know it is his slogan, right, but he wants you to join his team. And what happens, just like the fat focks, is he tries to buy out a gym
next door, which nobody goes to the gym. To go to the gym, They go there for social hour, they go there for coffee hour, they go there for they can't even pay their bills.
And so.
Down the road, down the road, he gets sucked into this dodgeball game and ends up putting Globo Gym up for grabs. Right that he's gonna win dodgeball against the Joe's and he doesn't. He loses again, all for trying to be the good guy and get health into this world.
Mhm.
It spins him so bad that at the end of the movie he's fat again. But this it doesn't end there. There's one more step to this movie that people don't understand. He finally gets back off the wagon, or I guess you could say on the wagon, loses all his weight, but he has mentally fucked himself so far beyond belief that he reinvents his name one more time. He moves to New York City, gets married, has a kid, gets divorced, has no fucking job, and he is so mentally destroyed
by people. The only job that he could fathom is because coming a security guard for a fucking museum at night, where the only people he wants to talk to are people that aren't really existing. And he changes his name to Larry Daily and goes on with Night at.
The Museum Nice. I've heard the theory that he goes to play what's his name in.
Oh Oh?
They get yeah the caretaker, Yeah.
The Caretaker. But I actually liked it. I like Night at the Museum better.
The problem with the Caretaker is it doesn't add up the timeline, because if you go by the timeline of the movies, it just doesn't add up. It doesn't add up properly. And the time frame that you give to make Heavyweights and Dodgeball fits appropriately. And then about three years down the road ish, then Night of the Museum happens. And I've actually never heard that spin. I put that spin on that one nice. But the Dodgeball and Heavyweights,
that's it. So many people have talked about, Oh, it's been actually a buzz thing lately that I've seen.
Larry Daily makes sense because his like, his inventions are so off the wall and weird, kind of like both of the other two characters. So it does. It does suit and then the.
Whole and they spin the movie that it's a tablet that's causing these things to come to life. Yeah, but it could just be that it's his imagination because he doesn't want to be around people anymore, and so his only escape is to to deal with people that don't really exist.
The theory I had on Night at the Museum. I read this a while back and it said that tablet referred to acid and so he was tripping balls on his night shift, and I was like, damn, that's good.
I like it. What do you got angels in the outfield?
Yeah.
So this movie starts with a with two foster boys, Roger and JP, riding their bikes passed well well past their foster mom's requested time to be home. Right, So, right off the bat, both Roger the older boy, and JP establier guidelines that these two kids do not listen to rules very well, and they don't care. They have their own agenda and they want to do their own
thing right. They push boundaries, they break rules. He solidifies this because he kind of drags JP along with him to sneak to an angel's game the very next day. While watching it in a tree, he gets in trouble with one of the security guards, and the security guards like, hey, I hope you have tickets for that tree right. Well, so, right off the bat, I didn't really care to say that these kids were good kids, because there's two glaring signs that show that these kids were just okay with
breaking rules. So the movie goes on Roger being determined to have a family. He goes to bed saying I'm sorry I skipped apart. So when Roger gets home, he meets his dad. His dad comes in and says, hey, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna love you anymore. I'm gonna put you up for adoption. Basically, I'm going on the road. I can't take care of you. I'm a piece of shit. Right, So Roger determined to have a family. He goes to bed praying for the Angels to win
the Pennant because that's just what his dad said. His dad had said that we could be a family if the Angels ever win the Pennant. Well, his dad was a douchebag, and he knew that the Angels weren't going to win the Pennant because they sucked. They were the worst team in baseball, right. The movie then cuts to the kids at an Angel's game the very next day, and all of a sudden, this angel comes down out of nowhere to help the outfielder Williams make a miraculous catch.
It's kind of weird that Roger's the only one that can see him, even though he's the one that made the prayer. Right. So at that point, when I was watching this movie, I kind of had a weird theory like, Okay, maybe this kid's dreaming and then none of this is real. But the movie goes on, and there's too much later on in the movie that kind of stood out, and it led me to believe that really the hidden part of this is that the angels are a piece of shit.
These angels aren't actually angels from God. They are angels that broke free from Heaven and we're just dicking around doing whatever they wanted because that's what they could do. And here's the evidence why. As you go on, you see these angels come down and they make these miraculous plays, and they turn this ragtag team of misfits and underdogs, who is who are all slated to be either kicked out of the kicked out of the MLB or traded
or dropped or whatever, and they turn them into these winners. Well, what's so good about that? Why do these guys did? Why do these guys deserve to win over all the other teams who have put in just as much time and effort and practice into winning. It seems like these angels have just kind of come down to create a little bit of havoc. This team that is in last place is destined for last place, is destined for bad things. It's supposed to go that way. They have now decided
that's not going to be the case. They go on to make them win games. They put them in the pennant chase, which inevitably takes other teams out of the pennet race. Right, So, now we've got a team full of misfits, underdogs, ungrateful, little pricks.
Who don't belong, who don't belong talent talent wise, they don't belong. Correct talent wise, they don't belong. Are now in the race for the pennant. And there are other teams talent wise who do belong and they're not. They're getting punished because these Angels wanted to help some kid, some random kid, possibly get a family. Well what about
all these other teams that are losing. We know that there are fans out there who get drunk and watch sports and then they turn around and they beat their kids. So now think about that for a second. When you have a team like the Padres or the Yankees who are supposed to be the Angels and they don't, and that person at home gets drunk because they're pissed off
that they've lost to the Angels. Now a one kid, one kid makes it all okay that there's hundreds of kids now getting their asses beat by their drunk parent or uncle or whatever, because what this kid wants a family.
Get fucked angels. These angels are just dicking around doing whatever they want. It's not okay, It is not okay. These angels were bad people. And then to just solidify it even more, to put that nail in the coffin. Towards the end of the movie, Al played by Lloyd says to Roger, this twelve year old fucking kid. Oh, hey, by the way, this guy that you idolized, this superstar, he's gonna die in six months, man, choke on that.
Oh we can't and we can't help out with the pennant, and we can't help you win because well we can't, even though we've been dicking around, screwing, screwing with these people this whole year. We can't. We can't be the reason they win, even though we've been the reason they're here. We can't be the reason they finish. So you might not actually get your family after all. Sorry, that's pretty messed up. These angels were douchebags. They weren't. I don't
even know if they were really angels. They could have just been some kind of magical entities that were out there screwing around because they wanted to have fun, like this is the devil at work, not the not the God that people wanted to believe it was, So yeah, fuck them angels.
I think that's a hot take. I think it's a great take.
I mean the movie is just mass hysteria induced, you know, fucking a mass anxiety induced hysteria. You know, probably the owners like we're gonna get rid of the angels, y'all fucking suck, you know, and everybody on that team and the kids and everyone else who are like, oh, it's angels coming down, and so they magically bust their ass. But in reality they were just become, you know, fucking jobless because they were shitty.
Yeah, god damn, they's just been bad angels. Yeah, absolutely have you have you guys had movies recently, like you, like, you know, Angels in the Outfield where you go back and watch it and it looks different, feels different than what you remember, like maybe a movie that you haven't watched in a long time. Because that because Angels in the Outfield kind of did that for me, I rewatched it. I haven't seen it in a while. It's been quite a few years since i've seen it, probably like three.
And when I.
Went back to watch it for this, there were certain things that I had missed that made kind of shit a different light on the movie this time around. Not that I still like the movie. It's still a great movie, but.
Yeah, I don't think I have recently, but uh, I do like watching things, and you know, rewatching things that are from a while back, just to see, like as an adult, what the perspective is now. You know, it's like any of especially any of those kids movies, Angels in the Outfield, the Big Green, all all that kind of ship Like, watching it as an adult now changes the entire perspective.
Oh, absolutely of.
How these movies are. I will say, Angels in the Outfield talk about a quietly like stacked cast.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean Matthew McConaughey was a nobody at that time, Yeah, nobody, and he was, and so yeah, but if you if you actually look at that cast, like that was a pretty damn stacked cast.
Well you had Danny Glover, Joseph Joseph, Gordon Levitt, Matthew McConaughey, Christopher Tonyoyd, Tony Danza, Christopher Lloyd, Adrian Brodie.
Who's that that blonde guy? Now now he's kind of got great hair, but blonde guy.
Neil McDonough The Crazy Picture, Yeah, Yeah, who else was in it? Dermick mulroney. He's been in a lot of movies. J O Sanders was in a lot of movies. There is another when I actually did a little bit of research, there was another theory about Maggie Nelson, the the Mom, the foster mom, the foster mom, that said that she's actually a genie and these guys were not angels, that
these were part of her granting him the wish. And the crossover movie is Home Alone on two when she's the bird lady in Home Alone two and she ends up granting Kevin his wish. Yeah, so that she just kind of goes around. But I couldn't find another movie where she was like a weird mom that kind of had the same vibe to it, that same outcome. But that was kind of a cool one. I saw that somewhere online.
That's interesting.
That lady.
Is she dead?
I think she died here or last year. It was like recent, let's look it up.
Holy shit, Well you don't want to see a picture.
Wrong page of porn hub.
Right, damn her older.
He's been on Grandma Hub eighty years old.
She is or was? It doesn't say on IMBB. It'll tell you if they've died. That's a lot of work.
It's usually at the top.
I'm chill. I'm looking for right now. Born. It just says born, but there's no death.
So she hasn't died yet.
Oh maybe not. I thought she did die.
Mm hmm, Nope, her spouse. She has a bouse that died eighty eight.
That was a while ago. It's a hot minute, Dan, all right, well that was good. I like that was that was fun. I we haven't done in Dad's I couldn't tell you the last time we did Dad's Advocate. It's been a long long.
Long yeah, long long time.
Yeah.
I missed it. I missed it. I've been I've been wanting to do it for a little while. Yeah, either either. You guys have a March Madness bracket going.
I do.
I actually still have my final intact I I am actually I actually have three of the final four teams intact the one I don't is Auburn I had Actually, I'm sorry, no, I apologize. I had Alabama beating Duke and going to the final four and then losing to Houston. And I have Houston in the final losing to Florida, and I had Florida beating my One of my final four teams got ousted in the second can't round and it was Iowa State. I was going for one of those.
It's not very often that you get all four one seeds making it to the final four, like this year. Yeah, the times I can remember are only a couple times. Ever, Usually you get a three seed, you get something weird, like an eight or nine seed in there. Yeah, but usually don't get all four number one seeds made though.
So I only did two brackets. I got Duke versus Florida. But it was tough to It was tough to not take Houston. Houston's kind of a dark horse, even though they're number one. Nobody really expected them.
I don't think, well, even if you're number one overall, when you when you make a run in the you run into these teams that are they can just be better because your conference plays not as good.
Yeah, you know, yeah, absolutely so, but it'll be exciting. I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm rooting for Duke, of course, so I been a Duke fan for most of my life. Hate Duke. I know that's fine.
I hate them.
I hate North Carolina and it's not because I'm a Florida fan. I just I don't like either one. Coach K is a fucking douchebag. I want to talk about it, fucking Dad's advocate. Let's talk about that fucking faggot because I can't stand him.
That's an underrated take.
But yeah, so I know I really don't.
I'm a I'm a DO fan, but I get it.
I don't like that they don't like North Carolina.
I just don't.
Never have never there.
Are there are a lot of stories where with Coach K that you don't really hear too often, but they're not good. Yeah yeah, yeah, Hey, you just look at him.
It's a douchebag.
You can tell.
Just look at him.
Smart though, smart coach.
I didn't say it wasn't smart. He's smart coach. So so yeah, that's good.
Yeah. Well, I wasn't sure if we were going to have time for this one. I threw another segment in here called Devious and Wild. I wanted to name it devious and Wild. And it was for us to find things to do to an X or someone you just like, or to find an example of something that happened on the internet. And I figure we could just if we did end up coming up with this one and having the time to mess around with it, we could even
just do things off the cuff. I don't know if you guys grabbed anything off the internet.
I actually had a story that I that I It was me. Yeah, when I was younger, So I was dating this girl that I was really into, and actually is the day that Stone moved back to Vegas when he was a young lady. I was at that party, had got a stupid blackout drunk shit face, and then the next day had to help help them move shit from there. He was bad, one hundred and twenty degree
with it so bad it's bad. But anyway, so this girl that that I was dating, and the reason for the blackout drunk was because we had broken up, and I was super pissed off about it because I was way into her. Well, a couple months down on the road, she called me out of the blue because she she was like, I really don't want to do this, but you know, I don't want to walk home and I need a ride. And I was like, no, I'm happy, happy to give you a ride. Like, no big deal,
I'll come pick you up, give you a ride. So I did, and we hooked up, and then again later that week, same thing, right, And so then I was listening to I was in a big phase at that time of listening to comedians and I had different CDs like you know, Dane Cook and Rodney Carrington and all that, but I have one also that was Daniel Tosh, and Daniel Tosh had this segment at the time that he was like, you know, what's a really fun game to do is just randomly text your exes or call your
exes and say, hey, I don't want to do it this way, but you should probably go get tested. And so I thought, I was like, ah, that's a pretty funny idea. So I shot a text and I was like, hey, just like you should know you might want to go get tested because I just got tested and I'm not sure where it lies. And my phone blew up like all pissed off, all angry, and then like, I responded, I waited.
Like a day right that, which is a thousand times worse.
And I responded back. I was like, I was just messing around. It's a segment comedian blah blah blah blah. And she's like, well, it's not fucking funny, and I'm like, I'm sorry, you're right, it wasn't funny, apologize fucking hilarious.
It was.
It was hilarious. So then like four weeks later, I get a text like hey, I'm late, and I was like, you need to ride for work, like you're late for work or what's up? And she's like, no, I'm late and I'm like, okay, I don't understand. She was like like I haven't hit my period and I was like fuck, I'm like, are you serious. Three fucking days go by, not a word, and then she finally texts back sorry, just kidding, and then we never spoke after that. That
was nice, and I tipped my cap. I was like, two, you got petty for petty bitch, But.
Yeah, that was She's probably talking to what her friends about it. One of our friends probably was like you're telling you Yeah, it's true.
I would be fucking rude as hell.
Excuse what do you got?
So, did you guys know that you can, uh, you can order some hissing cockroaches off Amazon, live hits hissing cockroaches off of Amazon. Yeah. You also know that you can put in someone's address and then send it as a gift, so it does it doesn't actually have a receipt or a return address. So it's very, very relatively for the most part, untraceable. If you really wanted to be a dick, you could even just create a burner account and uh yeah, then there's.
Create a burner account and get a like a visa like prepaid card. Really take it to that level.
M h.
If you're Rick really paranoid, not saying you should do this, but I'm just saying, yeah, you can actually by hissing cockers like live hissing cockroaches. They come just fucking in the box. So could you imagine opening up a box and it's just nothing but cockroaches hissing at you, hissing fucking cock like the box is hissing to begin with, Like you put on the faggots.
I did.
I can handle a lot of things. I don't think I can handle that, you know, yeah, fuck that nonsense.
All right, So back to my previous question from earlier in the episode. What if somebody sent you a bag of, let's make it spicy, twenty five eat a dick, gummy dicks? Right, you've heard of that, right, dum okay, yeah, right, Like you could send a bag of dicks to somebody. So twenty five one of them is one hundred milligram edible. How many are you gonna eat out of that bag? You gotta wait, twenty five chance.
I'm probably not gonna eat them because it would weird Yeah, it would weird me out.
What's the incentive to eat them?
Yeah, they're gummies, They're gummys.
The edible. No, Joey Diaz ain't biting me today.
I would probably I would probably not eat them, But what I would probably do is take them somewhere to like one of the local places that have candy dishes and just dump them in there, like Remax, Like go to Remax and just dump them in the fucking ball at the secretary's fucking desk, so just all of their guests that come in. It's a fucking crab shute.
I mean, one of the next twenty five people is gonna hate their fucking life for the next day.
Oh is that a candy dick?
I haven't had one forever?
Like, have one?
Could you imagine going in to buy a car, You go in to buy a brand new cars, stoned out of your mind, You're on a driving All of a sudden, you're just like, oh, what the hell?
What the hell is going on right now? Might being drugged?
Not only did you buy a lemon, they wanted you get fucked too.
Damn that'd be pretty fucking good. That would be really good.
That's fine. What do you got stunt?
I got this? Uh The story here from Reddit. The title was I purposely dropped my shopping basket on a stranger's foot Jesus, he said. So. I was at this local grocery store a few blocks away from my house. I'm just minding my business, waiting in line. I was literally the next to check out. Went out of nowhere, boom, this lady cuts right in front of me. At first, I was like, okay, whatever, you know, she only had three items. It was fine, it's not no big deal.
It was gonna let it go. But then she looked at me, not just a glance. Nope, She gave me that look, you know, the one where they scan you from head to toe like you're silently judging, like they're silently judging everything about you. Yeah, that kind of a look, as if I was the one who's wrong. And that's when I happened my intrusive thoughts. They clocked right in. I took a step closer, didn't say a word, and just dropped my basket right on her foot. It wasn't
anything remotely heavy, but it made a nice little thud. Oh, it was satisfying. She flinched, and I swear I heard a gasp. But the best part I looked at her, gave her a smile and said, oh, I'm sorry. Then I picked up my basket like nothing happened and put my items in the counter. I mean, come on, I was next in mine. Why would you do that? That's diabolical, diabolical.
I love it, I love it.
I remember. One of my favorite moments ever was going to the Scars and Stripes Festival years and years ago, and third band up from the headliner was a band that No and I love very much, and it was hell yeah, and just before Hella comes on, I'm on pit duty. As I was at that time, you know, just standing in the outside of the pit, catching people
throwing it back in. This lady that was very much so like in her late forties early fifties, like didn't look like she belonged there, just kind of went excuse me and just stepped right in front of me and was just like, Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and take this spot. I hope you don't mind. And I was like, no, it's okay. If you get your ass beat, I'm gonna take it right back. And she was like what And
I was like, don't worries. You're good, You're gonna eat shit, but I hope you could do pit duty, but you're on and she just give his looks like weirdo. And I was like, you've you have no idea what's about to come? Do you? And her friend kind of stands right next to her.
Right here comes Cliff from Iowa, who's eating nothing but corn, who's built.
Rick pissing vinegar. Right, two dudes, two dudes pissing vinegar, fucking collide. Oh God. So we're like two songs into the set, right, and I can't remember what it was, probably have been started Riot, but the pit starts going right, and these two really big dudes and kind of been going at each other right. It was it was kind of like if you ever seen Ferdinand. It was like the two bowls at the end fight, and it was like that exactly. And these dudes were just fucking going
at it, and these chicks are not moving. And I look and right in front of her, I see the one guy looking at the other dude right and he locks with him. And as soon as the guy gets like parallel to us, he charges, and I went, oh, here it is, and so I went whoop, and I took a big old step to the right and pushed Darius away, and this dude gets hit by homie. Both homies fly through the sky and slam into this lady and this lady and her other friend fall and hit
the concrete hard. And this lady looks at me, and I was like, that's why you don't steal spots, you dumb bitch. And I went right back into my spot and got right back into pit duty. And I was like, oh, oh it was petty, but it was so worth it, dumb ass.
That's a fuck around and find out moment for sure, Yes, that was a real fuck around and find out moment. She had no idea what was gonna happen, no idea. The most the most interesting stuff she had been to was probably like def.
Leppard, you know, like we weren't ready for that sweet.
And what fucked up is it? You know, people of all ages are welcome at venues like that. Like, I've never seen a venue that has discriminated against age. It's just stupidity, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Like, you know it was all rock, yeah, and it was it was a raising money for the troops, right, and Ron White actually like half produced it. And I saw him there. He was he was like headbanging in the front row to Blackstone Cherry and uh, the lead guitar player at one point goes, holy shit, that's fucking Ron White. And you just see Ron White just over there just banging his head like, oh, and he's fucked up on on down whatever. His tequila's down Hulu or something.
I can't remember which one it.
Is, but he's fucked up.
Yeah. It was great, It's amazing.
So I found this one online and I'd like to know your guys' thought and how you would react to it. So it's talks about this woman. So her ex husband left for a friend of hers, and what she did was she took all the zippers off his shirts and pants and all the buttons, so she packed his clothes for him. But what she did was she removed all the buttons off the shirts, all the zippers off the pants and shorts and things, so essentially rendering all of them fucking useless, diabolical.
I ain't gonna any much time for zippers and buttons when you're fucking.
True story.
I don't like lingree because it looks great on the floor.
Yeah, why do you need buttons if she's just gonna rip them off? Anyway?
Fair?
I mean in that story, I guess you got what you got coming to you, because why would you let her pack for you?
Yeah?
Yeah, no way, no way, no fucking yeah, no way. Yeah. I did find a story online about Cora releasing Ana Conda's in her exes. Yeah, that one was real. So the example I gave you guys was, you know, Florida, Florida woman let to Anna kind of Ana Conda loosen boyfriend's home after she caught him cheating with her mother. I'd be so fucked up, dude, what fu what?
Uh?
I just want to get pictures how hot it's the mom?
Yeah right, yeah, right, I mean it's it's either it's it's Florida. It's a or B she Polar show way work he was doing, which you know, I mean that's the premise of Jerry Springer every time, right, is that the one one side isn't putting out, so it goes somewhere else. Right, So, and that's what Florida is. Florida is just one fucking giant Jerry Springer show.
Yeah, that's that's a fair assessment. Yeah.
Could you guys ever live in Florida?
I think so. I don't know. I go back and forth. Sometimes I'm like yes, and sometimes I'm like fuck no, I don't know.
There are parts of Florida that are gorgeous, yeah, like gorgeous, and then there are other parts that are just hot fucking garbage, like you know, like most of Florida. Yeah, where there's there's bars. There's bars everywhere on everything that can possibly need a bar. In a burger camp. Well, I mean think about it, right, So it's like you just said, bars.
On everything that could need a bar. There's you're you're basically not an island, but you're pretty much close to an island. You're surrounded by sharks, you're infested with alligators, you got crazy people fucking everywhere, and you got the South right above you. Like what what sounds like?
Yeah?
What part of that's?
Like?
Yeah, let me go stand Florida. Yeah, I go visit, but that's about it.
And the North is like so vastly different from the South, because is the South is all like super blue, you know, and densely populated and a melting pot, and then North is just a bunch of people screaming the South will rise again. It's like, whoa.
Vastly different?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah, that Panhandle gets wild wild.
I don't know, Like I would love to live there, But at the same time, it would be terrible to go walking outside and then like you know, having walking your dog and then a fucking gator come up. Snatch, where did the dog go? There's an anecon in the backyard? Snatch? You know? Yeah, is that a fucking Huntsman spider? I thought that was only in Australia.
Yeah, it's wild. How Florida is so polarizing for that, like for all of those reasons, right, any other state, if you're like, oh, could you live in New York, You're like, eh, you know, yeah, there's probably some parts, you know, could you live could you live in Oklahoma? There's probably some parts, but you just second you get to Florida, you're like, yeah.
And it's funny because that one's probably the most realistic one for us to actually live in. You know, like, like, are we gonna go live in Oklahoma? It's cheap at ship, but the tornadoes are terrible and there's nothing to do. New York it's so fucking densely popular, king with tornadoes, that's all it is. You know, Fucking New York is terrible unless you go to the North, and North is just bitter cold and country.
But you'd rather put up with that than fucking alligators and spiders at the size of your face, and you know, random trailer park trash that lives in nice homes.
I don't know though, and all kinds of sharks on all sides. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, I don't that.
Would make for some great fishing.
There actually is some really good fishing off the coast of Florida. Yeah, there there is some really good fishing off the coast.
Yeah, crabin, all that ship, dude, everything is.
All right off there.
But yeah lobsters, yeah, swimming as they would stay down.
There, plus hurricanes plus her all the time.
Damn. But can you imagine looking out at your like fucking mango tree and orange tree and all that shit growing in the backyard. It's still there after that, and you're like, God, bless America. Goddamn.
Oh jeez, Florida is literally GTA on hard mode.
Yeah, it is like you start with three stars.
Yeah it is.
Oh you know, you know I found out something last night about GTA. Did you know, Like the concept for GTA came up out of Ron Howard's first movie he made when he was like a kid. Really he was in the seventies. I think he was like twenty years old, directed his first movie and it was literally about like him dating this girl and borrowing their dad's rolls Royce and like taking across country and like the cops are
chasing them, bounty hunters are chasing um. Yeah. Like and then they were like, let's make a video game about that. That's fun and then bam, now there's like one of the best selling video games of all time, if not the best. This is because of Ron Howard's first movie. Wow interesting hmm wow wow wow.
All right, well I guess that can wrap it up. We're at that time, right Yeah, so uh that's on take one sixty nine. Catch you next week, peace out later, catch out.
I'm not gonna lie this move. It was kind of nice. You keep playing with your I do, I do like jiggling. We don't notice, but you're gonna keep this tab open afterwards, like, oh, I've already said a couple of screenshots.
Don't worry. Yeah, we're good.
Yeah you did.
Hey, what's gray and comes in pints.
A d? Chris Farley?
An elephant? Mm hmmm?
Or the finger at Chili's, you know, or the finger in the chili at Wendy's. Chilis the finger. There's some elephants at Chili's. There's something getting fingered at the parking lot at Chili's.
But finger in the parking lot of chilies. You ain't living life