Welcome to Dad's One Day.
Clok.
Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point.
Hey, you guys know how to make a waterbed bouncier. You said spring water to it? Was that one of your jokes too before? Maybe maybe now I'm judging myself every joke I find, I'm like, maybe Stones said this one. Maybe Stone said there's so many.
There there was like one hundred and.
Hundred plus one hundred plus and thirty.
Why we haven't said that one yet?
I didn't think so. I didn't think we.
I think we had one that had something about spring in your step.
But he pulls out his roll the decks. Actually we had six that had something to do with.
Spring, spring forward, spring fever, spring penis. Let me go back to spring penis.
Wait, we're back on That looks like my porn search.
No. I just looked up spring in the search bar and nothing came up. We're clear Dad's Day will first.
Let's go Dad's on Day Quill Episode one sixty four, Dome can't figure out how to mute his mic while he's coughing. I'm known, I'm dom, I'm still baby, all right. So we got a nice Little Sunday Evening. Stoned is exhausted. Dome is probably also exhausted. I think I'm the only one that hasn't traveled this weekend. I did a lot of Disneyland research, if that counts for anything.
But are you guys are going to make that a reality?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I'm actually waiting. I got a I scoured different ways to find some kind of discounts and make things worth it. I was talking to Stone, I want to do Universal, but it's just being vetoed that we should probably just do Disney for now, which I'm okay with because I do love Disney. It's just a lot more money. But at this point it's you know, I have to realize, like I have the money to be able to fund that vacation, which is nice to have, yeah,
and be able to create the memories with everybody. The last time I was at Disneyland, my son, who just turned seventeen, was almost turning five, so it's been a long time. I'm but yeah, So I got a Disney card and I'm waiting for that to come in so I can book it on there and get points and
discounts from it. It's like a so smart yeah, and then and you can't you can't even book your tickets for Disneyland until one hundred and eighty days out anyway, So that's like in the first second week of June that we.
Can do this. You can get one of the season passes. You can do the season pass and.
Then I'm not doing that, but that's no speaking to that, so I am going to do the upgrade. So back in the day, they used to have fast passes, right, yeah, and now they have what's called the multipe multi pass right multipas, but but they have two different ones, actually three, so they have a standard which only allows you to do like you have to go get it every time you want to do the pass, right, you have to
purchase it. Then they have the multi pass I can't remember the term they call it, but basically, you get whatever the rides listed for that pass that day. You get one ride her day with that pass at a time that you set, so you have to set the time they make another one. But you can only buy this two days before your visit and it's very limited. Okay, the other one I just told you about is a
thirty five dollars upgrade. The other one is you don't have to set a time, and that's the only difference. You still get to do one ride or one time per ride, but you don't have to set a time. You can just show up and get to the front of the line. Any guesses on the jump of price from thirty five to this, and you have to buy it. You have to buy it two days prior. And it's a very limited amount, okay, Stone. The average price is between three and four hundred dollars per ticket.
And I'm like, what pay for it?
Snorting coke off my dick for that price and sucking.
And it's mostly just baby formula.
Like Jack, we did have to second the second he sniffs that that tickle feeling. I'm gonna right when you look at me, you're not gonna is it?
Is it?
Come?
Is?
It is a coke?
What's all over his face is a snob.
If you're his little fucking whiskers are gonna go in your asshole.
How did you sneeze, Oliver? Mickey Mouse? He pulled my ball hair. I don't know what else to tell you.
I wonder why nobody tried to bribe Mickey with cheese at any point in his lifetime.
I think it's considered racist.
Original racism.
He is, he was original racism. He started off as a fucking steamboat captain. Applies that mouse steamboat captain, who's a mouse steamboat slavery slaves came over on steamboat, right.
I don't think that's how that.
Too big.
Well we're here other than that, my my, I'll get to the rest of my week, and then we'll turn it over to you gents. But I am getting old, and I found more proof of this in not a way that I want. And it was so simple. So we were putting my daughter, my oldest daughter, to bed, and my wife's gonna read to her. So I lay down on the floor waiting my turn because I have to put her to bed. So if that's the term. My wife reads a book and then she leaves the room. I get into bed, I read a book, and then
she falls asleep. Go out of the room. Well, she fell asleep while reading with my wife. So I go to get up, and I get on my knees and I'm trying to adjust her sound machine and stuff like that. All of a sudden, I go to stand up and I can't stand up. I can't put weight on my right leg at all. I'm like, what is going on?
Like it hurts like right on my butt, like right above my butt, and I'm thinking like sciatic right, And like I hobble barely out to the living room, sit down, put heat on it for a while, try stretching all this other stuff. My wife has to help me to the room to go to bed. The next morning, I'm able to walk for enough to get it loosened up and I go see a chiropractor. So it was like, I guess it was my sourciliatic spot in your pelvis. And what he said is sometimes I can just tighten up.
And when it tightens up, he goes, basically, you're you're done for Like your body like shuts down that area. You can't put weight on your foot like you like it literally just collapsed. I'm like, that's exactly what happened. So I got all stretched and chiropractic stuff and felt old as shit. But man, I also said I have neck and shoulder issues because I do, and I have terrible sleep habits. And he popped my neck, and oh my god, it felt so good the first time he did.
He goes, did you get any tingling down your arms. I'm like no, and he goes, oh good, and I'm like wait.
Oh, oh good.
All right, let's I did it right. Let's just do the other side while we're here. Let's just get this over with. But yeah, so that that was a very weird, uh, very weird thing where it just like I wasn't doing anything special, It wasn't doing any activities. Literally laying on the floor, go to get up and somehow like pinched this area of by pelvis that I can't now get up. It was wild. It was wild.
So you haven't been able to get your pelvis up for fucking months.
That's the problem. And that's the exact problem is because it's it's not because I was doing activity, and that's the problem. It has to be anyway, domb how's your weekend?
Long? It was? It was delightful though. We had Lily's birthday, So I got off of work in California a Friday and drove straight to Vegas about four hours. Wasn't too bad. Managed to miss traffic, which was really nice. Got to Vegas and Lily had her dance competition. Her and the girls that she dances with had their first dance competition in Las Vegas. It was phenomenal. The girls did an amazing job. I'd like to give them a big shout out.
Not that they're listening to this, because they're not supposed to be or wouldn't be to listen to this. It is not safe for kids anyway, but they did. They did a great job. They they all danced their hearts out, some of them for the first time. It was their first competition and there were a couple thousand people at this thing, so it was it was nerve wracking for sure. Couldn't imagine being on the stage doing what they did,
so kudos to him. Her and two of the other girls got best overall in one of their dances they did in trio, and then she meddled in a bunch of other ones that she did so but that was the one first place that she got. But it was really cool, so very proud, had a really good time. Pissed off a couple people. We went out to dinner. She wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse and I had sent you the text messages. There was this guy sitting outside and I was like, Hey, excuse me, sir, but
you have some puke on your shirt. And he was wearing an Ohio State Buckeye shirt and.
He did that.
Guy did not fucking like me, man, he did not enjoy that joke. I thought it was fucking hilarious. And then, uh, kudos to the guy were in the Dallas Cowboys shirt. Who I slammed the door in his face when he was trying to walk through. I had it open. I was holding the door open for a bunch of people, and as this guy was walking through, I just closed the fucking door right on his face. He stopped and we had a good chuckle about that because he knew what it was about. You know, he wasn't stupid. He
knew it because he was a Dallas Cowboys fan. Yeah he's gay. He's wearing fucking Dallas Cowboys shirts and yeah, so this is good. I realized very quickly that I hate being around cigarette smoke. We stayed at the Santa Fe Station hotel and casino and that place way out there, miserable, that place still standing did barely dude, you have the very first.
Time I ever had Panda Express was at that hotel before it before it popped off.
It's probably the same one. Yeah, it might be probably the same fucking one. It was terrible, dude. He was miserable. Yeah, that place, it's I.
Can't believe that place is still open.
Pretty sure that they never painted it. That the color of the wall has just changed from the smoke over the years. Yeah, it's so gross, dude, It's so fucking gross. The auditory, the auditorium, Auturnum, the auditorum, channel your inn, Nelly. I did auditorium, the ballrooms that they had the actual show in where they were act They were really nice. They were newer. You could tell they were kind of newer, at least redone, so they were good. The stages were
pretty cool. But yeah, that was for the most part. And then I came back and hit the shipload of traffic coming back into California. So here I am. Here, you are ready to go to fucking bed.
Nice.
It feels like it's midnight to me, you know, I every bone in my body hurts. I had to give up my seat multiple times. They gave up my seat once for a woman who had all her mother had Alzheimer's and there was no seats in the place. So I had, you know, done my thing, and I'm just waiting.
And she just pointed and said, your seat was over there, man.
And this woman was looking for a seat with her mom, and I just promptly got up and gave it to her. So I spent, you know, the first half of the day kneeling on the ground behind people because I was trying to be polite to those that were behind me who couldn't see it. Oh, I thought you were as Yeah, no, I seeing the Grandma's asked. So she didn't know. She didn't know anything. It was like a surprise every ten minutes.
Yeah, you know, got a tongue punch, you know, the part box every now and then it's okay, that brown starfish.
Thank god she didn't have Alzheimer's to the point where she forgot to wipe. All right, it sounds like patter sugar, do you.
It looks like a glazed chocolate donuts. They got left into the kmart thing too or the circle k thing too long. That's good shit, what about you Stone?
The last forty eight hours for me have been pretty like hectic. I don't know like how I had time for all of it, to be honest, Like, I'm still trying to figure that out. The logistics on it.
Yeah, it's wild, isn't it.
Yeah, Like, you know, my kids started coming down with something on Friday, and I still don't know if it's I'm pretty sure it's like a combo of like allergies and maybe a little bit of RSV. I thought it was just allergies, but then I texted her teacher and I was like, hey, he's not coming into it, and she's like, no worries half the classes out And I was like, oh, all right, damn.
It's funny how they say that after you call.
Yeah.
I said the same thing with my daughter like a couple of weeks ago, and it was like, you couldn't give us the heads.
Up before that, y'all couldn't just send like a group text. We're all in the same like text chat, like just a heads up, hey, you know, being the lookout for your kid not feeling well. But yeah, I was dealing with her and she was barking and sneezing and wasn't feeling good and trying to clean up, trying to get homework done, you know, like all on Friday night, also trying to prepped leave on Saturday, and like I fell bad because I was like, hey, you know, dad, can
you go ahead and take care of my kegs. I got to go to town for something. He was like yeah, sure, and so like I dropped her out and I was like, yeah, I think he's just allergy. He's like, should be all right, and like left.
She looks like petal ince.
She did look so run down. She was like hey, b b boes it go And.
I felt so bad, but I was like, you know, like I gotta go, and like I left and got to the airport. I had about an hour and a half until we boarded, and I wrote a five page paper in that time waiting at the airport, really for college. And then I got on the plane, went there, spent almost an hour in traffic just getting from Lax to U c LA so I could go see my girlfriend
s had surgery there. I spent the night with her, and it was just every two hours, like someone came in and was like, hey, like, I'm just gonna go ahead just something. I'm like, yeah, can you can you this is a hospital, like you're supposed to let people like hel up and I can't really do that if they can't sleep because you're in here fucking around with shit. You don't need to fuck around with you know what
I mean, like didn't makes sense. But I think I got probably a total of four hours of sleep.
This it's pissed off because the nurses and fucking assistants are coming in to do their job to save his girlfriend's life, and he's just like, bitch, they're not even doing their job. She doesn't need ship.
She didn't need shit.
She even yelled at them at one point, was like what do you guys need? And I was like looked over and she was like yeah, like I'm good, I don't need anything. And she They're just like yeah, okay, and she left and just right back to sleep, and I was like, okay, right back to sleep. It was crazy.
And then they came in at like four point thirty and they were like, yeah, we need to like check your blood we need to check the blood pressure and everything, and and like they needed like she needed to up and like go take a piss, and like I had
to get up out of the chair and move. And when she went back and I laid back down, my eyes were just like sclued open and I was like, it is five thirty in the morning, and I think I went to bed at like twelve shit, and so I just sat there and was like, all right, I just we're just going to read about stocks and bonds.
And so I read thirty pages right there, and then when breakfast open and went and got breakfast and sat down with her for a little bit, and then it was time for me to go back to l EX and I went back to l EX and I got to tell you, it was like just in the nick of time. Like I got in there right, and I always get there early because you never know, and like legit, I get there and I had about two hours before we boarded, and took about twenty minutes for me to
get through the line. But as I got through the front, there was this massive group of people that walked in and I heard the lady say, hey, just let everyone know who's asking about TSA in the bag check lines. That it just went from twenty minutes to an hour and a half, and I was like damn. And it literally was like two minutes of people coming in just two minutes, like it got that busy. And I was like, well, you can you know PSA for anyone out there who
thinks that they don't have to get there early. Please get there early. Just make sure you don't miss your flight, because that shit happens. That shit happens.
So I seek your mom who's willing to fucking get in a wheelchair.
Yeah that too, that too, But like I had, I had a bunch of extra times. So I just sat there and read a whole lot more, and I got a whole lot more done for some side glasses. And then I tried to sleep on the plane.
But I don't know.
I'm over for three right now. With the last airplanes, some kid has been fucking screaming every single time. And I was like, I was like almost in tears. I was like I could have got like a thirty minute nap. I still got so much more shit to do. I gotta do a test when I get home. I gotta write another paper. I gotta take care of a sick kid. I gotta do a podcast.
I've running on this like four.
I was asleep, baby, somebody help me, somebody help me.
Stone just burst into the Cockpaity, like, hey, can I get it in here and just take a fucking nap.
If somebody isn't killing fucking chat, this thing is going down.
In America right now that's like praying for the plane to crash.
Take her down, Just take her down.
There, inner run White.
Everybody else is definitely afraid of getting on airplanes. AJ is just fucking plane hopping from one to the next, Like just like plane bingo.
Which one of these has the female pilots. That's gonna crash this that's what I want.
But yeah, it's and and now we're here, and I don't know, the grace of God, I'm here. Like I even set an alarm too. I was like, I can't sleep through the podcast, Like I almost passed out on the couch, but I didn't. Somehow, you look tired. I don't know.
You don't look tired too.
It's been it's been a weekend, jents, it's been a weekend. It's good.
I'm glad. Everything's doing good and everything's moving in the right direction.
Yea, it is. She's good. Everything's good, moving in the right direction, and everything is looking great good.
I like it.
I like it.
Little note that we talked about, I think last week's podcast just a quick update for those people that might have watched the hockey. That was way fucking cool. And yeah, Canada won, Like like I said, it was a much better game than I anticipated. I did see though, nine point three million people viewers. I bet there was more people, but nine point three million viewers watched that game, which was literally a meaningless fucking game.
Right.
They this is their new, the new All Star break thing. There is a trophy, YadA, YadA, YadA. And I'm not saying meaningless because we're Americans and we lost it. Just literally like this this is a brand new thing. It's not like the Stanley Cup. It's not like the Olympics. Right, they didn't win.
None of the players want any money for it. They didn't great, they didn't get any kind of bonus or incentive. There was no there there was no standing change from it, like no team or no country won any kind of standing about it. There was a trophy, well there was a yeah, but there was a trophy. But like what I mean is is like there's no records to be set yet correct. And then also how many.
Other countries competed in it? It was just four, just four total, And they're trying to build it up like a World Cup kind of a thing.
Yeah they might, they might.
I'm game with that.
Yeah, that's that's where I was getting at nine point three million viewers. It is the largest watched hockey game in over thirty years. You're talking about Stanley Cups that have gone to Game sevens in those time frames, right, the most watched hockey game in thirty fucking years. That's how fucking good that game was. That's how much hype was behind that game. And so I love to see it. I love to see it for the sport. And fuck you Canada, Mike, if you're listening, I love you, but
go fuck yourself, you Frenchy. Fuck yeah, so let's move on. Fucking fucks hate Canada. I fucking hate it.
The only thing Canada is good for is free healthcare and maple syrup.
Anything else, even then, I'm good with the fake great value surrup. I don't need I don't need anything special.
I just always assumed that all maple trees came from Canada.
Like all Mexicans came from Mexico. Yeah right, okay, that makes sense.
I'll give it to him. I give it to him. Look, I'm an equal opportunity human or whatever that bullshit's called.
Your DEI is that what you're saying?
We might have to thank for what for plaid.
Oh yeah, true, maybe shout out to the plaid moose.
I thought the plaid. I thought the plaid would come from overseas somewhere.
It probably did, like we probably did. Like I was thinking about that hockey matchup, and I was like, damn, talk about a throwback.
True.
Imagine speaking of hockey matchup and moose, could you imagine a full hockey team of humans versus a full hockey team of moose?
I guess depends on who the humans are.
To watch that Canadians and the MEAs is it MEAs moose.
We're called we're we're we're rename it. We're taking taking that over MEAs uh. The gaggle fuck of moose is called MEAs Yeah.
Could you imagine?
Could you imagine like nine fucking giant ass moose meat on the ice just plowing through fucking Canadians, dude left and right. That'd be phenomenal.
It's a regular afternoon in the Yukon, It's.
Right, it's just my trick down to Ottawa.
Either. But we're gonna go down to the rink and get toppled by some moose.
You want to come join us, fucking a But I'm in.
They have to have it somewhere because like overseas like Russia and fucking the Check Republic and Germany they have all these crazy ass things on late night TV of like how long can one guy stand in a doorway?
And uh they got.
Like karate, they got karate, ice skating and ship you know, oh yeah car.
J ship yeah, wild themselves and strangle themselves in a car wild ship wold ship.
Just all I'm asking for is if there's anybody out there from the German or Russian fucking TV publicity. You know, hey, look, syndicate, syndicate, let's go put it up syndicated.
I love you, uh well from from one what what?
Go ahead?
Tell me?
No? Go ahead?
No go ahead? No no, no, no, you go first. It's been a long time. Sounds cute.
The only are adorable?
Doc your tips. Now I'm trying.
I can't dock any further.
We would be fucked. We would be trying to dock each other because both of our bellies would get in the way, and then if we turned around try and dutch rudder, neither one of us are fucking limber enough to reach behind anymore.
So it screwed.
You have to reach behind for a Dutch rudder.
Isn't that what you do? You reach behind?
And I think that's just a reach around.
No, that's because that.
Would be me facing you though, so like I would be, my chest would be against your back. Google it, Google it while I do this commercial.
All right, go ahead?
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Now we have a website.
It's our link tree.
Oh, our link tree. Okay, like what.
People can tell me these things? We stopped paid for that a long time ago.
Yeah, I think Indias swiped it from us. And now it's a call center.
Oh it's good stuff.
You know, it's funny.
You a bunch of cards extended Warran D.
I was sitting here like waiting for you to tell a joke. You're like, I'm gonna do this commercial. I'm like, what fucking commercially.
Whoops?
All right? Well, from anyway, from one bracket to the next, Uh, I'm gonna do another bracket like Stone did. Although I did send you guys something, it was just gonna be basically Stargate sixteen times. That's not true. What I decided to do was I decided to do a dad's bracket. I chose movie dads, not TV dads. Movie dads to go up against one another, and we're gonna crown the best movie dad. I do think TV dads are better than movie dads. I think there's better TV dads out there,
agreed than movie dad. But I got some good ones on it.
Just spend more time with them. I agree.
I think that's it. You get more connection. Yeah, so all right, well let's go. Let's go right into it. Match Up number one. This is in my app so it was randomized. I just randomized it. Would you like me to randomize it one more time? Or are we ready to go?
You're good?
Matchup number one Arthur Weasley from Harry Potter versus Clarkswald from National Lampoons. Griswold.
Yeah, like he may be like sort of a fuck up, but at least he's not like a cunt. Okay, dads, Wait, hold on, hold on, I think it was the wrong guy. Wait, who'd you say for Mary Pottery? I was like, what my bad?
Okay, Dad's advocate, Dad's advocate. Dad Weasley was actually a phenomenal dad. Okay, but he was a great dad and he took care of those kids, and there's a lot to be said about him. He's a very underrated dad. So this is a little closer than you think, if you if you really dig into it. But I want to go with my immediate gut instinct, which is Griswold, just because he's that fucking like fun, electrocute yourself.
Dad.
He's a lightning bulb.
Yeah, you never know what you're gonna get. There's so many lessons that you can learn, but he's gonna learn him first.
Yeah, you watch him.
Yeah, so yeah, yeah, he's the lightning bolt in her dad's and de Quel logo. That's Clark. You know, he's our lightning bolt.
All right, So that one's that one. Moves on, Clark Griswald, all right. Next matchup, we have Harry Stamper from Armageddon versus Jack Jack. I think this spell checked me and I didn't realize that Jack Bryce, but it's I don't think that's the right last name. I gotta look it up, but it's from Meet the Parents. Robert de Niro, uh, and Harry Stamper is Bruce Willis and Armageddon. Whoever's got the pen flick, I'm gonna kill you. I can't.
Sorry, I'm bad. That's me noise, like I.
Just throws it. I'm gonna go with Bruce Willis because he saved the world. Okay, and yeah, he he's kind of like he's I think, okay, Meet the Parents. Robert de Niro was a twat in that movie. Yea, an absolute twat and I so I got Jack Burns was his name, and so I gotta go. I gotta go with Bruce Willis. It's that simple, okay, Stone, I gotta go with Bruce too.
That scene at the end when he's talking with his daughter live and he's like, hey, I'm not gonna make it home. That like broke me every time I watched it. But now as a father to a little girl, that movie hits even deeper and I almost can't And that was one of my favorite movies. I love that movie.
I almost can't watch it anymore because now I am a dad to a girl and I'm like, dude, like I sobs fucking city when that that comes on, you know, and uh and as well, he fucking shot her boyfriend with a fucking shot, you know, like he had lived out the dead fantasy right there. He went out as a fucking hero while also skating by with attempted manslaughter.
There you go, that's true.
Yeah, you know, say yeah, Harry Stamper.
All right, Harry Stamper moves on. Next up is the Animated versus the Animated. It's funny how that worked out. Mufassa from the Lion King versus Marlin from Finding Nemo.
Ah, Mufasa fucking abandoned his kid right off the bat in the movie, so fucking.
Fucking idiot, Marlin, Marlin all day. Marlin went to get his son, like he's kind of the ultimate dad, you know, like like arguably, you know, from what we've heard so far, I don't know what's left. I think definitely a championship round would be Marlin versus Harry. That's that's a hard that's a hard thing right there. You know, you got one who sacrificed himself to save his daughter, another one who tracks down over across the entire ocean to find
his son. That's a hard matchup right there. Yeah, Marlin all day, Marlin.
All day, all right. Okay, next up grew from Despicable Me and uh, Chris Gardner from Pursuit of Happiness.
I do not remember, Oh Chris Gardner is Will Smith.
Will Smith because I threw the grow one in here, because because he adopts the girls for the reasons not to be a father, but then becomes the father figure and and I actually like that part of the story from a simple kids animated movie.
Okay, now do we know everything we know from all of the Grow movies, from all of the Despicable Me movies, or is are we basing this off of just like a specific time.
Let's just just just off of Despicable Me the first movie.
Okay, Okay, I'm gonna go Chris Gardner. Okay, I I think he he's too real, grew, Grew had nefarious and uh uh intentions mm hmm yeah yeah, okay Stone, Yeah, who's the second.
Guy, Chris Gardner? Will Smith. Pursuit of happiness.
Pursuit happens. That's right, that's right, that's right, Yeah, pursuit of happiness.
All right?
Uh, moving on.
Brian Mills from Taking would be Liam Neeson and Charlie Hinton from Daddy Daycare, That would be Eddie Murphy.
Oh, Liam Neeson, like one hundred percent taken. That's a that's another one right there, like going to get tracking down your kid, you know, like.
Damn, damn, go ahead them.
It's Ddy Murphy, bro like dude, all the ship that he went through in that movie. He just didn't want to pay daycare v Yeah, but that's a dad, Like that's that's a real dad.
Liam Neeson is not a real dad. That was bullshit in that fucking taken movie.
That was bullshit.
It's a real dad because he got a cheap trick to play a concerto.
Yeah, wait so but that's realistic though, Like, it's not realistic.
If the kids shit all over the bathroom, I don't care if it's not my kid. Kid's going through a window, goodbye, bam, he's over there, Like, oh, I'm gonna go find someone who speaks klingon to speak with this kid and try to ask him if the shit all over the bathroom, No, nah, man, come get your kid. I don't care. Call out his call out to work sick. He's he's gonna stand outside until you come out.
I mean, let's be honest, right, what was more? What was more difficult? Having the patience that he had or going through the sh it that Liam Neeson went through?
Liam Neeson.
I mean, but yeah, all he had to do was risk his life.
He was just like Eddie Murphy had to stay calm and not kill a fuck load of kids.
Like but like that's that's the point that doesn't make him like a real dad, because if he was a real dad, he would have been on the run for murder, for murdering those little kids. He's not a real dad.
I actually really like your take on this one, thom and Uh. But because he he is a he is a good dad because he says, fuck the man, this this school is too much. It's ridiculous. So me and my buddy are going to create our own thing and then we're gonna save other kids from this ridiculous school. But I do have to give it to Liam Neeson in this one. I think I think he's I think he's got the win. Uh, But I like the theory behind the the Charlie Hinton, next up, Howard Langston that's
Arnold from Jingle All the Way. And Gomez Adams from the Adams Family as.
Oh, Gomez Adams. I mean, like I I to give merit to to Arnold's character, like he did, you know, really go out of his way to find.
A doll for his kid that should have gotten.
But he should have upon it. And he's just not that good of a dad because he can't manage that well. Piece of like hol me buy your ship earlier in the year. That's what I fucking do. I start fucking buying for Christmas in March.
Yeah, come on, that's that okay jingle all the way is the epitome speaking of Dad's Advocate, That is the epitome of a movie one of us could use for a Dad's Advocate episode we did where he is a terrible fucking human. We didn't.
He is not the us mm hm, the.
Dude fucking ruined like stores and a man's life anyway, No.
Him more all right. Uh, these next two matchups may be the hardest matchups in the first round. I don't know, but this one I feel maybe the hardest for me personally. Uh. Cameron Poe, Nick Cage conn Air and Daniel Hillard Robin Williams. Miss doubt Fire.
Wow, oh missus doubtfire Wow yeah wow man wow Yeah.
That was quick.
Wow.
Yeah. I Mean, if you think about Nick Cage's character is just going point A to point B. It's kind of a simple linear path with some explosions and gunfire. But when you go to you have to assume like a whole like trans identity just to see your kids, like who whole espionage thing like.
You just right there is way more than yourself.
Gunfire and put the bunny back in the bucks.
You It's.
What you got dumb.
Fuck you up, dude, Yeah, come get it. You know where I live.
Nick Cage is Liam Neeson but way cooler.
Same fucking thing, same fucking thing, but in the air. Rob Williams, you went with Miss Stumpfire too.
Oh my god. Yeah, listen, he fucking lied. He lied the whole movie.
Dude.
He had to wear an entire fucking skin shoe.
This would also be a great dad's advocate. Yeah, agreed, he's a piece of shit. Cameron pos Way better all right?
Next match, arguably better dad than she was a mom to those kids. I said what I said, Yeah, I agree. Agree.
Last matchup John Archibald, Denzel Washington and John Q or mister Levenstein Eugene Levy from American Pie.
Oh man, I gotta go John Q.
I don't remember it.
You remember John Q, John Q when he held up the hospital to get a heart transplant for his son who's dying.
Oh yeah, great fucking movie. That's like a top three Denzel.
Yeah, yeah, I gotta with my peeps though. Man, it's Levy, you really going that.
We'll just tell your mother that we hit it all, you know, so, Eugene Levy, I'm sure Stone could probably relate to. This statement reminds me a lot of my grandpa and Stone's grandpa, very very similar style talking points, way.
Laid back way. You could never see them raise their voice.
Yep, yep. But in this case, I hate the matchup that he drew because John Archibald, Denzel Washington, John Q does does take this one. So yeah, I mean the dude potato potato right.
See, Okay, here's here's what I wish we could have had. I believe it was taken and it was Daddy day here that when against each other, right, I.
Thought, if you were gonna say taken versus Connye, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
It's not going to be conn Air at the end of the day. It's just not.
I guess I just hold a special place in my heart.
But no, like that matchup that that was Daddy Daycare and taken, right, yeah it was, yes, it was yes. So I wish it could have been switched where it was Daddy day Care versus Taken, uh no, versus Levenstein. Yeah, and then it was the other way because those those both would have been more perpect matches.
Yeah, that's nice thing about the randomizer. Yeah, round to day.
I think we're gonna be in the same boat though, So let's see where we go.
It's round two, you and the boat. It's this episode Clark Griswold versus Harry Stamper. So you have Clark Griswold National Lampoons and Harry Stamper Armageddon stoned Harry Stamper.
Same. Wow, it's close though, all right, it's it's close fictional.
Next matchup you have, Yeah, Armageddon is not real, way more realistic. Person is way more realistic. Person, way more realistic.
Maybe I I definitely when it came to that matchup, I ignored the same logic that I applied to Daddy Care.
So fucking asshole.
All right.
Next matchup, Marlon from Finding Nemo versus Chris Gardner from Pursuit of Happiness.
Dome Finding Nemo Marlin Stone Cross the Ocean.
Man, I'm so happy that Marlon and Harry Stamper meeting in the next round. Get one of these.
That's a fucking hard pick right there.
Next up, Brian Mills Taken and Gomez Adams from Adams Family.
Adams said what I said, Man, I love it.
I'm all for pitching dad.
Dude. He let the kids you know, live their lives and be who they wanted to be and more, Titia, I.
Mean what, I am also gonna go with Gomez because because of this reasoning Liam had help, I believe Gomez would do as much for his kids. I's not more with less help because he's not a popular person.
He wouldn't need anybody else, nah, period, he would just need.
Like Uncle Fester and a couple of their family members. Because of it, I good to go Gomez could do. So I'm gonna say Gomez because he's as capable with less help.
All right, last matchup of the second round, we have Daniel Hillard Missus Doubtfire versus John Archibald John Q.
I don't know, man, that's a tough one. The dude that held a shitload of people hostage to basically strong arm people into saving his son over other people, essentially committing a ton of crimes, neglecting kid laws rules and I don't know, just a general common courtesy to mankind or a guy that just dressed up like an old lady to see his kids and did what he needed to do. Man was a pervert somewhat within the law.
One has a prison sentence. One has a shame sentence, but also.
Kind of not a shame sentence really.
Because you're just trying to see his kids. Yeah, I think it's gonna be John Q.
Is that who you went with them?
Doubt fire? Oh?
Okay, split the ties.
I gotta go John Q. H the sacrifice to do what you have to do to save your kid's life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I go, I go John John?
All right?
Round three, semi Finals. Harry Stamper. First matchup, Armageddon and Marlin from Finding Nemo Dome. Let's go with you first.
Uh So you got a guy who saved the world or you got a fish who found his son. That's a tough one. Can I pick Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo?
No?
Okay?
Uh Harry, Harry Stamper, Okay, Stoned, I'm also gonna go Harry. Of course.
Man, he sacrificed himself to save his little girl.
It's true he did a lot. He did a lot more throughout that movie.
He did do a lot more, taught her.
Some life lessons, made sure that the guy was a good guy.
There's some hidden dad things in there, all right, Okay, last matchup, Gomez Adams, John Archibald Gomez. Wow, that was fast, Stone, because what did you say?
I say Gomez, because if given the opportunity, Gomez would do the same thing. But Gomez more than likely already has a heart ready on ice waiting. So I'm just saying, yeah, that's a good point.
He's a might swing my answer because I wasn't gona say Johnny, but I think I'm more likely go to say Gomez.
But not to sway your point Backstoned. If if he's already got a heart on on ready, that doesn't make him as good of a dad as John Q, who's willing to sacrifice everything just to save his kids life.
Gomez would too, would but you don't know, he just never happened.
I think Gomez what position. I think Gomez would go, like get someone's heart just Marlin.
True Marlin would have.
So what are you going?
Stone?
You're going John? John Archibald, are you going to Gomez Adams?
Gomez?
Wow?
All right, this is not the final I saw coming in this whole bracket. You got Harry Stamper from Armageddon and you have Gomez Adams from the Adams family in the final matchup for the dad's dad bracket. So who's the dad's dad of Harry Stamper and Gomez Adams Stone. Let's go with you first.
It's gonna be Harry's Tamper.
Okay, Al Bundy comes out of nowhere, fucking sucker punches TV show. It's a TV show, Adams.
Wow, I gotta make this.
Yeah, yep, you're gonna you fucked yourself here, Bud. We we did the roundabout on you. No, it's Gomez, man, It's listen. Gomez would ride that rocket. But the thing is is that again, I believe that Gomez would find a better way. Gomez is just a prepared individual. He's a prepared, planned dad. I think that that's what separates him from all these other guys. He would do all he would do all.
The things that they did.
But no, I give Gomez credit for finding a lot of things, but I don't find him credit for deflecting an asteroid without playing himself off. I think it might be outside of the realm of possibilities.
And so Adam's family. I think, because we saw it happen, I have to go with Harry fair enough. I'm not I'm in your choice.
I hate my answer because I hate the movie, but I'm gonna go Harry Stamper. Harry Stamper is the better dad in this matchup, and Harry Stamper is the champion of the dad's Dad bracket. And uh, I don't like it, but that's what we're here for, you know.
Sprinkles.
Sprinkles are for Harry Stamper and go Ma's Adams. All he gets is Mormentia, he might and you who knows what he's gonna get from Mortitia. But let's take a commercial break and see if that ties in. Right up, Bokers, you got a little itch down there, Not the kind that comes from a good scratch, but the one that comes from well, you know, meet my ball's itch, the only treatment for the those uncomfortable, pesky genital wards. My
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just relaxing. And My Ball's Itch available at your local pharmacy or online where the only thing you need to hide is your smile.
So I hope we can clip that because like Dome just hit his chair and his chair fell, and just the way that his head looks just look reminded me of like a penis and like it comes out and the girls on top and just crushes it. And that's that's exactly what came to mind. Yeah, shout out to shout out to crush shout out.
All right, so we got we got time for one more segment. Uh I, I took this segment. So we did a lot of funny review stuff back in the day with Dads, like where we read funny reviews well Stone and I in our Endeavors. When Dads was on a hiatus, we were on another podcast where we did a review, but everybody did the same review of a product, right, So I came up with a different concept of Hey,
let's all do let's do a review of something. Go find something, bring it on the show, eat it, drink it, do whatever you want, and then give an honest review and tell people if it is it Dad approved or is it Dad disapproved? So Stone, what did what did you bring to the table? Let's go with you first.
So by kid had gotten these yogurt bars like a week ago and she's been really like king them, and I was like really curious because I haven't tried one, and I was like, you know, that would actually be like perfect to try it for this for the segment here it's a Cleo bar from Sam's Club and it's just this little like protein yogurt bar. And I'm hoping that I get some culture out of this. Your boy.
Get some culture with Cleo.
Cleo at a bar. Jesus, I'm going to tell you your future.
No, it was a culture yogurt joke. No I got it.
I got yeah, No, I got it.
Culture good bacteria for your floor, because like good but for your floor, really.
Good bacteria for your floor. The bacteria from your asshole is going to be on the floor when your brands.
A little bit. So this one's vanilla. See how this one is?
Okay, what does it look like? Let me see? The inside looks like a little ice cream bark?
It does it does look like an ice cream bar.
You know, I'm not a fan of yogurt, but I could eat this. It's not bad. It's not bad. Gotta give it to them. It's really light, it's not very like. It's not really dense. It looks dense, but it doesn't like bite dense, and it doesn't have that hard bite that yogurt does. So it's like my penis, except not a twizzler.
It looks dense, but it doesn't bite.
All right, don't you want to go next?
Sure?
Uh?
So I'm here in Rancho Cucamonga, and I went to this Asian market because I like Asian things, and I found these these here.
Back that up. It's usually a little better if you back it up closer to where your face is at.
There you go, Can you read that?
Yeah, it says.
Yep. Uh.
They are.
They are natural reserve steaming sweet potatoes. And when you pull it out, it looks like it's one of those fucking that does not look good.
Yeah, no, it's It looks like it's gonna smell like power bait.
It looks like fish. It looks like fish, So we're gonna give it a shot.
Here.
It is sticky as fuck.
Okay, you're muted stone.
Goddamn. Oh wait, shud stone.
It looks like power bait. For sure. It is not good. That is not the one, all right, man, I mean I'm gonna go. It does not taste I sweet with hair. What's the taste like power bait?
It's just not there your left eye just and just like sh I brought thrown away that I was about to lick my fingers.
That I brought two to the table. I brought a drink and a snack, and I'm gonna do the drink first because I think it's gonna be the worst of the two. So I have this Thaie Flavor bubble milk tea drink. I got it its safe way, So for those listening, if you have an Albertson's or a Vaughn's, that would be the same place. Or but this is just a Rico brand, so you could probably find this just about anywhere. Or they're like, but it is a
bubble milk milk tea drink. I like how it says Thaie Flavor and then the bottom says Taiwan Classic, So I don't know, so it tastes like a tai tea.
But it's not caffeinated. Okay, it's just like a milk.
It smells a I don't know, it looks kind of looks orange.
Did you have to shake it first or I guess it's not as this is a this is a.
It's it shows little brown balls.
But those are probably brown sugar would be my guess.
Well, it's pretty good. I definitely taste the tea in it. It's got pretty good to that milk.
I like it.
It's not bad.
I'm a sucker for ty Bobba.
I don't think there is any balls unless they're all stuck at the bottom.
Definitely, that's what she said.
Next up, I also stayed in the Asian market with Wing Wong Ching Chong. I got this Taki taco yaki ball.
Chips.
It is a Japanese style barbecue sauce flavored corn puffs. Okay, saw these, I was like, I bet these are gonna slap and slap hard, so let me.
Just explode this bag on.
Jacks. My bag's gonna give out on me on this thing. Okay, first, unimpressed by the whiff, it was expecting more, but.
Uh, there is.
Crunch hitters instant. Yeah, yeah, brunch from here. It's it's almost like a corn pop met a little bit of ramen with some barbecue flavor.
I like it.
Oh yeah, these are Dad approved on this one. Uh huh.
I did so for dinner this afternoon, I did have deep fried deviled eggs. So they were Yeah, they were breaded. They took the egg itself and battered it, breaded it, deep fried it, and then they put the topping. They put the filling on top with a piece of bacon, some candied bacon. That was delicious.
That sounds amazing.
It was good mm hmm.
But I didn't.
I wasn't saving those for four hours until this.
No, of course not. Was this something like local place or what? Yeah, okay, shout out to Rancho cucamonga local place for uh deviled eggs.
Called lazy Dog. I had to look at the bag back, Oh, lazy dog called lazy Dog.
I've been wanting to try Lazy Dog.
I recommend it, highly recommended. I got the chicken pop pie, which was fucking massive. Dude. The chicken pop pie was the size of my head and I did not expect it to be. It looked like it looked chicken pop pie fans oh I love No, he hates chicken pop pie.
Really absolutely love cultured swine especially you make it with you make it like cobbler style, but with Cheddarbay biscuits. Yep, from Red Lobster.
That sounds good.
I've done that.
That's the move, right there, dude, I've done that. I've actually the kids love it. The kids absolutely love it. And what you can do with that is when you're done with it, you can take the inside. You can roll it into a ball and wrap it in saran wrap and then freeze them.
A little pro dad tip right there.
All right, well Stone, you want to give us a little commercial and then we'll come back and close this puppy out.
Yeah, let's go baby.
All right, Hey there, this is ripping butts here to sell you the new butt Mester three thousand. This smoker is made specifically for pork butts and is even shaped like a cute little butt. It only smokes pork butts, but if you try to smoke anything else, the secret butt agreed will come to smoke your butt. Slap that meat, smoke them cheeks.
Baby.
I love it.
I should have got and that. I actually made a pork butt today for I decided not to send pictures because I knew you were both traveling and it was unfair. But my god, there was one piece I had. It was like the three quarters of it had the smoke ring. Three quarters of it.
Okay, real quick.
I made this.
Johnny's Sex's Internet is out, was out got the herpes. So a couple of weeks ago, I made a pork butt. And this is something I hadn't tried before, where normally I would I would only put seasoning on the outside and then I would shred it up and everything's good. But I had seen this guy make pulled pork and when he shredded it up, he grabbed the bottle of seasoning he used and then he threw it in with the shredding, so everything got seasoned. And I was like,
I want to try that. And I did it. Dude, I'm not doing it any other way from now on. That seasoning breaks through the entire thing. Oh my god, game changer. It was good.
Changer.
It's good.
I like it.
Yeah, I did.
Uh.
I did the mustard bind and I did the honey garlic, the same the same brand that does the math that.
One can get a little too salt heavy.
If he's too much, it can have You guys, tried brining your meat before you do it?
No, chicken, it already takes too much time.
I don't need to do that, chicken. I do, seriously, try try and brind it with like apple, with like apple juice. I'm good. It changes things.
You can make it and I'll try it that way, but I'm not doing it, okay. But yeah, when I wrapped it, though, I threw on some honey brown sugar and some butter and some apple sauce and then wrapped it, wrapped it in butcher paper and then wrapped it in tinfoil.
It was so good, so honey brown sugar. So I went to Texas Roadhouse and I ate four baskets of goddamn rolls of the rolls myself. Yeah, my stomach so bad because.
I got to stop myself, like I eat one and then I pushed the basket away. I'm like, someone take it. When you got that roadhouse right by your house right there, yeah, right there, And the weight line is honestly not that bad. Most of the time. It's you guys.
Everything over there.
Yeah, that both parking lots, the parking lot across the street. You should see the ship they're building in there. It's fucking crazy. And they got an Amazon building right down the road too, like it's its own and and a fucking hospital opened up right there. It's its own little city that's brewing, like they're gonna I bet you they're gonna branch off and it's gonna be a new city for South Vegas.
Well, the second the hospital goes in, I think it has to. I think it can.
Yeah, and it's a it's a like I think it's a county hospital too.
No, no, no, I think the second hospital goes.
It's East Henderson Campus, so it's still a Henderson hospital. But but I wonder, like I'm like.
Dude, think it's branch Government's name. It's government name.
Did you hit me, Bob yet?
No?
No, And I'm not gonna drink the whole thing because there's too much sugar in it.
But oh, you should just dump it. Just dump it and see if like an it comes out. Just dump it right here in the closet on the right, right down in the closets, right right in front of us, so we can all see it, and the listeners too. If we post the video, which we're not. But except for Labar, who love you?
Fuck yourself, Chris, I love you all right.
You should have seen the hesitation in his face when he said it. He like honestly felt so bad when he.
Can I just say that like it fucking loser, all right? Well, Dad's on day Quill episode one sixty four. Uh catch next week, peace out later.
Do you guys hear about that stressed man who is gonna try the Chinese thing with needles opium?
No?
But I bet his name was Seymour butts, nobody sees more busting New Uncle Tony shout out to Heavyway.
Buddy Bundy
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