Welcome to Dad's One Day Clok. Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point.
Hey, do you guys know the origin story about the chicken crossing the road?
Me?
Either.
I couldn't follow it solid. Let's get back to the sect me talk the uh.
I wonder if you could find a groupon for that.
Oh?
Absolutely, there's gotta be some some type of coupon group.
Could you imagine like a frat house getting a group on? Right, You get like twenty guys that show up, like they all put their appointments separately so you have no clue. But then they all show up together wearing their fucking sweaters with their with their Creek letters and shit, and they're all there button ups.
Oh that'd be fantastic. That'd be fantastic. But I'm telling you I could do this as a fucking profession. I'm telling you I watched the whole fucking thing go down. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I could not do this for a living and succeed at it. I would have a less than fucking one percent.
You know, Johnny Sins is not an actual doctor, mechanic plumber. Oh yes he is okay.
I mean.
He does clog some pipes. He doesn't really unclog him, he clogs them.
If you play it on TV, then aren't you still it like it? Aren't you still one? Like Doogie Howser is still Doogie Howser? Right?
I guess to make stains in the backseatut out the heroin Kumar.
You'll report meat Sandwich. I forgot about that movie, The Cocky Sandwich God.
That was my favorite. Chip.
Jesus Well, his dad's on dequill Hot start episode one sixty three.
I'm known, I'm done.
I'm stone baby.
I love it.
It's good to be back. I missed you guys.
Anybody have a have a good dad story for the week?
No, uh no, My my week was pretty easy. Grace, So I got one got sick again, uh he but this time it was kind of it was weird. It is a little ear infection, so something new, something we haven't had in a while. I took him, took him to the urgent care. You got that taken care of? It is? It is his birthday on Monday, and then so happy birthday to Grayson. And then Lily's birthday is on the twenty second, so Happy Birthday to Lily. I currently leave for some work that has come up. I'm
kind of excited about. I'm not excited about leaving, but I'm excited about getting paid for it because it pay It's a hot paycheck. It's a hot paycheck. And then Lily has her first dance competition coming up on her birthday on Saturday, so I will be driving from California straight to Las Vegas for that and we will report in how they do next week.
Don't calls cast? Where are you guys?
Like?
What you at?
Where at the dance place? Where are you at? I'm here, I'm at Larry Flint's hustler. Where is this funny thing? When's it start?
I don't think in Vegas anymore? Right, I don't know.
I think isn't it right there at the end of the two fifteen or at the end of the strip, like this past Mandally Bay, like between the Blue Diamond?
Oh yeah, Like if you're going south on fifteen, it's just before you get to two fifteen intersect. Yes, there you go, right there, yeah, not too far down the road. They're all right off Dean Martin and all that shit. They're all right there.
Yeah, there's still part of me that wishes I would have stepped foot one time in the Larry's villa, and then the rest of me is just happy I never did. Oh yeah, speaking of sickness, though, dodged a near bullet. I guess you could say for this house it's a it's it. We dodged a missile. So since Thanksgiving, the first cold, we don't know what it was. We're just gonna call it COVID because it could be right. But
then we had confirmed flu. Right, so in three out of four weeks, our household was sick, minus my wife. I guess breastfeeding has its perks where you don't actually get sick sometimes where everybody else gets sick. And then we had a nice little break and then just like a week or two ago, kids were sick again and it was actually positive for RSV. So good thing you
didn't come there Stone for the super Bowl. And then the other night, all of a sudden, so I was asleep, Summer wakes me up and she's like, hey, I need your help. Ellie threw up like okay, like whatever, like she's had this cough whatever. That's probably how it happened. No, Biggie. Part of that sidetrack is I get up. I felt like I was asleep for five or six fucking hours. Like I woke up and felt like I was slept like the dead. It was ten forty I'd been asleep
for like an hour. Fast forward the next three hours of every thirty minutes of my daughter throwing up into a bucket, and I'm like, this household's going down.
This is it.
This is the grenade right here, This is it. This is it. Nobody else got anything, so all we can think of is somehow maybe she got sick from some food she ate, even though we all ate the same stuff, Like, I don't know, maybe, but we all dodged a bullet. So I spent my entire night on her floor, you know, helping her out. Got some shitty sleep, But I'm just glad the rest of the house did not go down in flames. That'd have been nasty. So, yeah, do you have anything stone, Yeah?
Yeah, some crazy shit went down this weekend. So this house definitely has a haunting to it. That is our grandmother, and she has made an appearance on several occasions, and mostly it's just been around me, and for a while, there. I was like, maybe I'm just going crazy. I don't know. And then it happened in front of Alsa and Avery, and I was like, okay, I'm not going crazy. This really is happening, Holy shit, and yeah, we're all just
you know my room. We were talking yesterday before we were gonna get kind of stuff started for the day, you know, just like an early morning, and uh, I was doing laundry and I had thrown in like some towels and like did them you know, and I ran them. I run everything like low. I don't run it high anymore, and sometimes it takes a little bit shuit, especially to dry the towels. So I turned it back on and then it was off and I was like cool, like that's going load it, but we just need to talk
about what we're doing for the day. And I hear the dryer turn on and then I hear it turn on and I went you two are right in front of me, oh shit. And then Alyssa look said Avery, and Avery was like is that the dryer? And I was like, it has the dryer. That all just happened for you guys too, And they're like, yeah, the dryer just started and we're all three of us are right here. Okay, I'm gonna go turn it off real quick. I go and like I turned it off, and I was like, what the fuck?
Damn.
Yeah, And I've seen before in the washer the spind dial is dialing itself all the way around, very slowly, just going through cycles, like it's really indecisive to pick a cycle.
And I was like, it's funny that she chooses to be in the fucking laundr room of all the time.
She's always working, she's always working.
She goes right back to it, swear.
I was like, you know, when we get out of here, we need to tell the other owner is like, hey, like this is what's up. But don't worry. She'll probably make your bed and start the washing r like.
She's super nice about it.
Oh yeah, she'll talk. She'll talk in your corners.
She's a Midwestern ghost. Okay, she's she's she's gonna treat you right.
Just just don't think about you know, she might be there when like fornication happens, because like that's a weird thought to have in the back of your head. You imagine your grandmother just watching and just being.
Like, probably listen your granda. Listen. Okay, right here we go. First off, your grandma. Your grandma was a horny little girl. Let me tell you that. Okay, she was handsy at the wedding.
Dude, she was drunk.
She was handsy at the wedding. So wouldn't surprise me if the next tenants started getting freaky and she was blowing on that butthole and ship like rub it. Hands down, dude, hands down. Whoever's whoever's getting nasty is getting a finger in the fucking bum. She's gonna be like she's gonna ring the doorbell.
Oh Grammy, you trickster.
I can't wait. I can't fucking wait. I will purposely.
By a ghost. It's like this cold air.
Oh no, poor.
All right, speaking of no judgment, we missed out on a beautiful segment last episode called We Listen and We don't judge, Right, ajst tell us about it? What are we doing with this thing?
Yeah, everyone's been saying those videos. I'm like, we listen, like we don't judge. We'd like kind of call each other out on stuff and we just kind of let slide. But maybe like kind of annoys us a little bit, but.
Not cannot play. The three of us can past. Yeah. No, we love each other and that's fine, and we do judge our faults.
Our faults are why we love each other. That's how we work. Yeah, but we should definitely come up with some stuff about our partner and or about our kids. And uh, you know, man, first thing that came to mind, and this happens for both of them, and like they put a lid back on something, and you know, when it doesn't get fully seated and it's crooked, they just leave it like that a lot of stuff and I'm like, stop it. Why is that fucking mouthwashed like that?
Dude?
If it fell over, it would just be blue everywhere.
I can't even comprehend that happening. Because I go to put a cap on something, and if I feel that it's wonky, I will do it and do it and do it until it's right like that.
I can't.
I can't.
I avoid that. I avoid that so much. I will purposely backthread something. I mean, in other words, I will turn it. I will begin instead of turning it the right way, I will turn it the opposite direction it is supposed to be turned, until I feel it sit in seed correctly and then thread it so I avoid any kind of crookedness. Yeah, that's crazy.
Mine goes for my my wife and my son. They both have a really bad habit of never replacing the fucking toilet paper. You tell me, Yeah, but I'm I'm at the point now that I just when I walk in and I see it, and I just I grab.
Like usually we keep anywhere from like you know, four to six or seven in our bathroom and our personal bathroom because the all the other toilet paper sits in our hall closet by the kid's bathroom, and we actually got one of those it's like a hanging shoe rack, and we use that for paper towels and toilet paper works, not inside of that. But yeah, it's it's an epidemic in this household of not changing toilet paper. And so but I get judged if I forget something and I
just I don't, I don't bring it up. I'm just like I'll replace it. The only other one that I could think of also is my son, and I just had to basically just chalk up that it actually happened. Yesterday, he was going to go to lunch with his girlfriend and a couple of friends and he's gonna go to Safeway first and get some flowers for her because of Valentine's Day. And I was like, are you coming back home after his Safeway so you can change? And he was like looks and he's like, nah, I was gonna
wear this. And I'm like, are you going to peak hours at Walmart?
What do you?
What do you mean to do it? What do you what are you wearing? He's wearing sweatpants ants that are like, you know, cut off like at the bottom, and so you could see his socks, and he's wearing like these black he has black new balanced tennis shoes like he's a seventy five year old man. He's also wearing stones old Dad's on. Take on this sweater with the gentleman the thing on it, right, Yeah, And I'm just like I looked at him and I'm like, you know what,
have a good time. Like I just have to like pull myself out and realize that like kids dressed like that, They all dressed like that. Yeah, And we were all in that same boat at some time where we would dress like a certain way and our parents were like what the fuck are you wearing? And that's where I'm at. But I just have to pull myself out of it. So, yep, what about you.
Uh taking out the trash? I don't think, No, I know. I know for a fact that over the course of the last two or three years, no one in my house has taken out the trash but me outside of one time, and that one time I was not here. Oh no, twice, twice twy well, okay, to be fair, the one with Grayson, though I asked him to do it, he wouldn't have done it if I didn't ask him. Okay,
So let me let me clarify and say voluntarily. Right, there have been a couple of moments where I have removed the trash bag from the trash can and handed it to a child and said, go do this. Sure, but we're talking about the other adult in the in the house. Not one time time, one time, one fucking time, one fucking time, dude. And it's because I wasn't home. And it's because I wasn't home. Yeah, how how's that a fucking thing? And I wouldn't complain.
Sounds like you're kind of judging a little bit.
No, I can judge, they're not. So the people listening aren't supposed to. I can judge all the fun I want. I can judge all the fuck I want. I can judge all the I want. Like, like, how stupid it is to be like, don't wake me up in the morning because I want my fucking sleep. But then when you don't get included in something, you yell at me for not waking. Why did you wake me up?
I thought you wanted to get your sleep.
That logic doesn't logic. Sorry, So every once in a while I will I will purposely do things in the morning, knowing damn well that it is going to be a fight, but I don't care.
Is that like reverse gas lighting?
No, that's gaslights. No, that's just that's just you living with your consequences. That's all that shit is, cause and effect. Reverse gas lighting. That's a jewe favorite sex position.
Nice.
I don't think the gas was ever lit, right?
What?
Right?
Was never lit in any of the chambers.
It was just unless they had like brick or coal fired ovens.
All right, you guys got any more? I don't.
Those were my two that I can at least think of right now? Okay, yeah, the stone do you have any more?
No?
That was like, really it besides what you guys hit for sure.
Okay, I mean we all have our flaws because you know, if like if we threw our spouse on the other side of it, you know, and there was like a you know, stupid ass show called like the you know, Moms on Niquil or something like that, then they'd be talking in an alternate universe about how we're pieces of shit.
It would be moms on mimosas, wouldn't it.
That's a good one. Yeah, I like, yeah, we just coined that. So if we have see that show, we know where it came from. Dead on Deake episode one sixty three trademarked.
You piece of shit, bitch?
What do you got for a stone?
Beacon of universes? Alternative universes. I came up with this new little game for us to kind of play. It is called.
Alternative alternative Universes like Pearl jam.
Turn here.
It's where Kurt Cobain missed. So shit, did you see did you see uh post post Nirvana? Did you see that? I hated it? Oh yeah, I fucking hated it. This it could be a hot take whatever, I know. I love Post Malone. I loved everyone that was in there. I just, for whatever reason, I the music did not fall well on my ears. But let's get back to the game. Yeah, okay, movie universe? What movie universe could you live or survive in? And this is gonna be
a versus game. So I'm gonna give you two options A and B. You're gonna tell me which one and why you think you could actually survive or live or do well in for might only be ten seconds because some of these are pretty tough. You're ready?
Yeah?
Okay?
Are we both getting the same ones? Are we getting different ones?
You guys are gonna get the same ones? Okay? All right? So the first first matchup is a quiet Place versus the Mist, So you guys have to tell me which one. The quiet place where you can't speak, there's crazy fucking aliens and things that are coming at you left and right you can't make any noises, or the mist where you really don't want the fucks out there.
Like at all, you want to go first down.
I think I'm would take my chances with the Mist because fuck quiet place.
Yeah, you can't shut up?
No, no, like I'd be clumsy as fuck.
Your only way out, your only escape is on these roller blades. Well, it looks like I'm breaking an arm before I got.
Did he get taken out while he's on the roller blades? It wasn't because of the rollerblades. It's because he hit a joint on the rollerblades. He so coffin got him. It's a goddamn ass.
Would have to take the miss. There's no way I could survive in the everybody's met me. I can't. I could never make it in a quiet place.
No ever, you you would get killed for yelling at one of the people with hands fucking down. The phrase I could almost quote the phrase that would get you killed is how fucking stupid are you?
It's about right, you retarded.
Instantly? All right? Ever? Two the Marvel universe or the Game of Thrones universe?
Oh good one.
So both have their moments where you're kind of away from chaos, right, you could live and be away from chaos. However, they both have a lot of fucking you know, a lot of hurdles that you'd have to live in. You know, you got villains, evil villains, and near duels.
Can I'll take this one first? But can I get this question real quick? If I'm in the Marvel universe. Do I get to be a superhero?
Yeah? Good question?
Or am I just some bystander likes.
The guy who goes and picks up the garbage.
And we lost them.
I'm the guy gets to wipe Hulk's ass. Turns out I only get to survive one day.
See, I thought he had went down and I was like, did somebody hit the button on Doctor Evil's chair? And then he's.
Okay. So I just need to know, like, do I get to be a superhero in the Marvel universe? Or am I just some rando?
Now you are who you are right now?
Like you know powers, okay, Game of Thrones, of Thrones, even if I was a superhero, what that universe? I'm taking Game of Thrones because like, okay, if I got to have superpowers, all right, Like if I got to be you could twist my arm, if I got to travel with the Guardians of the Galaxy, like fuck yeah,
sign me up. But at the same time, like Middle Earth feeling you know that that old school like you if you make it to thirty, you have you have peaked at elderly age, because you're probably gonna die a lot sooner than that. If if the plague doesn't get you, if the cough doesn't get you, if circes syphilis doesn't get you, then you're gonna get You're gonna get gat And the cool thing about Game of Thrones to me is you get to do a lot of killing and
when you die, it's gonna be probably an epically brutal death. Yeah, so I'm gonna take Game of Thrones a lot more titties, yeah too.
Yeah about you Stone.
Do I want to have knights and shining armor and dragons and people now brushing their teeth? Or do I want to go out and outer space? Uh? And like you know, getting in her galactic guest tds. That's a hard it's a hard question for the safe house to answer. I'm gonna go Avengers? Why not?
All right?
All right?
Why not?
It turns out he's part of the film crew for The Man of the Mandarin number three, and that's all he gets to be in that universe.
Yeah, this is a bullshit. Yeah, this is the greatest life I could ever live. I'm so privileged, but I really wish I could win more.
All Right, this one, this one was my favorite, and it was a point of contention between I mean, the producer and myself How to Train Your Dragon and Shrek.
Oh, that's a tough choice. Honestly, I'm one hundred percent going to take Shrek. That's exactly what I said. But I will give I will give credit where credit is due. That it would be pretty fucking tits to live in the How to Train Your Dragon universe other than having to hear Jay Barrishall talk to you all the time. That would kind of say.
We're going to take to the sky.
Yeah, but Shrek, I mean, what fucking a Shrek? That would be the fair universe, dude, any part of it, the whole thing. It's phenomenal.
What if you came back as Donkey?
Like, what.
If you're in the universe's Donkey?
Fantastic?
Yeah?
Why not? I mean, I don't think there's a character that you wouldn't really, I'd probably be fucking Lord Farquhad though, my love because.
So the gingerbread Man, not my buttons.
By use jone.
Oh, that's like that's a tough one for sure, because I would love to train my own fucking dragon. Can you imagine pretty much? Hey Dragon, can you l like this for me? Hey? Thanks? Appreciate you, Ben, He's not supposed to be intoxicatable flying on a dragon? Is this dragon high? Is this dragon we name well?
Judging by the fact of the dragons flapping its wings, but they haven't taken off yet. I'm gonna say he's fucking baked. Take off there flapping making lamb kebabs.
Oh my god, dragons like put the pizza in that oven. I'll try on the oven. What all right? I think I'm gonna go Okay, I'm gonna go fairy Tale.
Yeah, the last, but not least the Witcher versus Stranger Things.
Oh, I'll let's don't take this one first.
I'm gonna go Witcher just because of so many components there are to that world, and I really have a better chance. I think, like, statistically, I think I have a better chance from any of those worlds to be something other than just a normal person. So I think out of all of them, it's dead answer one hundred Yeah, definitely in this case, definitely, it's.
All of them.
Like, of all the ones you've mentioned, I'm like, dang, I think that one might take the cake.
It's weird because like when I was doing this, I was gonna throw in some horror ones. I was gonna be like Jason versus Freddy, you know what I mean, And I thought about Stranger Things. Stranger Things is very Freddy esque, right, yes.
It very much is Freddy esk. You're like, nowhere is safe? Yeah, especially like first season Nowhere is Safe.
Yeah.
Uh, I that's it. This one is probably the toughest choice for me, other than the fact that I'm just gonna be some broke back bitch in the Witcher and I don't really want to be that.
I could see you being a baker or a chef in some random, like little fucking hut somewhere, you know something.
Yeah, yeah, probably. But to get to live out the dream of being in my adolescent youth, you know that teen years in the eighties, fucking sign me up. I know I was born in the late eighties. But to be able to be that teenage you know, high school, early high school age in the eighties, yeah, fuck yeah, that's what I would love. That's that would have been the tits. Yeah me personally, Yeah.
I don't disagree with any of your takes at all at all. Frank listening and there is let us know what your takes were I do have to rewind a little bit, not anything to do with that topic other than you said privilege.
And I think the best tweet I've seen all week was Cooper De John's pick six. What's the guy that won the slam dunk contests? His name Mac mac right and us steals uh steals hockey from Canada. Probably the best six days for whites in history. That was the tweet.
I was like that, that is the.
Best, that's the best.
What the hell?
I love? I loved. I loved watching fucking PK su Ban get all hyped up that Canada scored first and he was all fucking excited.
The whole the whole Canadian world fucking lost their ship like as they should have. It was electric, it was experience. I mean, that's kind of what I expected. I expected them to throttle from that point on and.
It just didn't. Breaking fucking news. This Four Nations hockey tournament has been magnificent.
So oh man, I've wanted NFL is going to flag football the NBA, What the hell are they doing. NHL's like, Hey, we're gonna beat the shit out of each other for the next week.
And a half. For three fights in the first ninety seconds of that fucking game is wild.
Yeah, hell yeah.
This is when when I found out that they were doing this, I was like, oh, that's cool. And then I found out I'm like, oh, it's replacing an All Star game even better. But I didn't think and then the very first game I watched and actually watched full contact, and I was like, oh, well, maybe they're not allowed to fight because I hadn't seen a fight in the first two games. Yeah, and then drop of the fucking puck and it's like, loves are off. I'm like, wait,
they're allowed to fight. Yeah fucking ah ye, Like and they better never have an All Star break again. This better be the All Star break every year from year on out. Fuck the Olympics, fuck everything else, give me this.
What's great. What's great about this is there really isn't a fucking prize, right, Like, there's no trophy. There's a trophy, right, there's a trophy, But in reality, these guys are doing this for pride.
There's guys about Connor McDavid. Since he's become pro, has not been able to play for Team Canada. Other than in the off season. He has not been able to play in the Olympics. Crosby hasn't played since he won in twenty ten in the Olympics. Right, because now NHL players aren't back and they're not allowed in the Olympic. Not that they're not allowed, but Gary Bettman, who's a piece of shit, doesn't want them in the Olympics.
Yeah, and so so stupid.
Right, But if you're gonna give us this, if you're gonna give us this every year for two weeks, let's go. Let's go, because this is what you want, that's what you want. So yeah, breaking fucking news on that.
Speaking of you want to take a break.
Yeah, let's take a break. Yeah, welcome back to Channel they News. I'm your host, Squirt mud Bottom joining me later, Chip sell it quick from the streets and storm up blowing with the weather. Update in our first story takes us to the state of Michigan. Ye old baseball Mint. A Michigan judge is taking a hands on approach to combat shoplifting by putting sponges in the hands of the offenders and sending them out to wash cars in a
Walmart parking lot. Judge Jeffrey Clothier hopes this clean form of community service will scrub away any bad habits and prevent further thefts from Walmart. These rising crimes could mean higher prices for even fewer stories. I don't think everybody who steals as a bad person. Sometimes people are just down on their luck, Clothier said, but there will be consequences when you break the law. You can't just wash away your problems, unless, of course, you're washing a car.
Looks like these thieves will be scrubbing the streets, one stolen item at a time. Chip, What do you got for us, Chad bro.
This is Chad April to zero at him, man, it chips out a quick needed to go home and like tense his mom, who's been like really sick lately. But I don't know about that because like I'm pretty sure I saw a picture on the GRAM of him sitting on a beach, Dad like holding one of those like fancy like Kirabian drinks. Damn, man's living it up, you
know what I'm saying. But anyway, I wanted to come in and just like thank like the stone and like Dad's on de Quel for the like just coming back, man, Like the safe house has been pretty dim for a while because it was just sickly, to be honest, and meth Mike even attempted sobriety you know, for a few in your absence, but like he ended up punching his anger management counselor in the face and somehow he ended up packing here after he escaped from jail. Oh a guy,
family's back together. Man. This is Chad from the safe house. Check it later.
Thank you, Chad. I don't know what fucking update that was. Otherwise, otherwise, you're welcome storm. What's blowing in your neck of the woods?
Hey there, squirt. I was watching the Avatar the other you know, the other day, you know, last Airbendy and uh. It had me thinking I think I might be the ava tar. Hear me out now, Okay, the other day I was walking to the corner the bums and smokes off Miss Jackson, and I was moving them some leaves around on the ground with my mind.
It's really cool.
I was walking up and I was just waving my hands back and forth like this, and then them they was just dancing along with me as a walk. Har did you guys hear about all these volcanoes riptings and all them earthquakes and shits going on around the world. I think that it might be the Fire Nation and the Earth's nations getting ready for battle. You know they know them back, you know what I mean?
I ain't knowing.
Boy the Avatar come back.
Eh.
Well, shit, I better go practice it. That's the case, you guys, bet you she to get a good place to hide or what not. And because she's about to get real, storm Avy tar out oh and coal fronts coming down from the north.
Watch a Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne, Thank you. Storm. In our last story, a humpback whale and a Chilian Patagonia took Catch of the Day to a whole new level when it briefly swallowed a kayaker before letting him go unharmed. The incident captured a camera captured on camera by the kayak's father, quickly went viral. I thought I was dead, said Adrian, recounting the intense moment. I thought it had eaten me, that it had swallowed me, just like my mom. But here I am talking about whale
of the story and way to get your sea legs. Well, that'll be it for the Channel D news, Storm Chip, Chad, whoever the fuck's coming in this time I'm squared my bottom. Catch you next time.
Fucking swallowed by a whale?
Oh my god, like a panic?
Yeah, how would you react?
Fucking scream?
I'd ship in my wetsuit like.
Like instantly, like especially if you didn't know, like like because you don't know necessarily that it's a whale, right, like if it comes up from underneath, like in that video, because I've seen that video.
Yeah, the dude's just.
Gone, Like the whale fucking comes up. The dude's just fucking gone. There's no sign of his kayak for like five seconds until the whales like, ah shit, I don't want this, and he spits it out.
I'm guessing.
I mean it's all underwater, you know, the whales.
Like that tastes like crabs.
You know, it's fucking nuts, dude.
I don't.
I don't know how. I don't know I would react. I really don't, dude. That'd be fucking freaky. That'd be scary. Shit, I know I would ship myself or piss myself for sure, for both, yeah or both? Yeah? Yeah. How many do you think there's more? Do you think there's more kayakers in the world, or do you think there's more whales.
Kayakers, kayakers? You think yeah, yeah, yeah, I think.
I don't know. Those hipsters would be something to look up if only somebody had created a game. What is there more of?
Oh?
Wait? I did.
There do? I have dramatic music somewhere.
I don't bump bum boom the way you grabbed your chest. I couldn't do it again if I tried.
So.
All right, so this is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna give you, guys two things. You'll have to tell me what you think there is more of. The person with the most points at the end of this wins nothing cool.
I don't know you guys, ready, yeah, yeah.
Uh so we'll do it. The first one, which is are there more doors or wheels in the world?
You sent this as an example, and that immediately put my my brain spinning, and I'm like, man, what is there more of? More wheels or more doors? I'm gonna go with wheels. I feel like there's way more wheels in this world than there are doors. Okay, I mean that. I don't think there's any house in like the Middle East that has a door. There's no doors in Africa, at least not north of South Africa. So I'm gonna go with wheels.
Okay, I'm gonna go with doors. Okay, weuck it.
There are it's probably more doors, more doors. Yeah, there are billions. There are actually billions more doors, and it's all comparative to the house.
I'm gonna need to see some notes. I want some receipts of where you get these things it's from. I still believe it to be true. I just want proof.
The receipts are Google.
Oh okay, so not.
AJ's Google, the Jews Google. Just to be clear, Jogle page six. Nice Google. I like it.
It won't let me use it. It says I gonna pay a penny to use it.
Every search what Peddy per word?
His homepage is all uncircumscis and the transition between every page is just like fucking gas.
It's just like us or money, money like it's just money.
Alright, alright?
Number two? Uh are there more trees on Earth or stars in the sky? I'm coming out hot you guys. I don't know.
It's stars in the sky. Okay, okay, there's no way to prove move that. That's kind of an unfair one because they're still discovering universes.
Okay, so I didn't say universes, sid stars.
And universes and company stars.
Stars in the sky, oh just in our sky.
No, it's still stars. Go fuck yourself. I don't care what logic you bring to this.
It's stars, okay, stars Okay. There are significantly more trees on Earth not than stars visible in the sky. There are around three I said in the sky. There are three trillion trees on Earth compared to somewhere between one hundred and four hundred billion stars visible in our Milky Way visible but got nothing.
There's a million like different universe.
Yeah, yeah, well would you break it down with when you break it down the theory, it's a little bit different, but even still, I mean, because if you want, if you want to go to what we what we know or don't know, like you can do the infinite theory. There's infinite Earth is infinite, infinite Earth is Earth is.
There's just that said that sums up this game to it. Let's go to the next question.
Kicking in, she's kidding.
I can definitely tell you, like within this house alone, there's three stars, but there's way more trees for sure.
All right, AJ's that one to nothing. Number three, are there more hot dogs or hamburgers consumed per year?
Man, gotta go with the Glizzies.
I'm going burger.
It is burgers. Hamburgers are fifty billion to hot dogs twenty billion. That's a lot, dude, that built a billion billion.
I mean it makes sense, like from a personal standpoint, because I'm gonna choose a burger over a hot dog any day. Yeah, but you just think of like how many hot dogs are eating, like kids the mac and cheese with hot dogs, and likeing of sausages and shit like that, and just hot dogs.
With sausage, hot dog.
If you think about it, hot dogs, I would say like a big portion of that amount is people who eat hot dogs and stadiums.
Yeah yeah, oh yeah, because I go to a ballpark, I'm never gonna get a burger. I'm gonna got a hot dog.
Yep.
Yeah, every time of his dollar dog night, go get one of those hot roller glizzies from a fucking seven to eleven.
Oh what's the bed? Do you guys remember the best hot dog you've had at a stadium?
Oh? Good question. It definitely was not in Vegas because for a while the they were before the Aviators. They were the fifty ones, and at one point when the fifty ones were owned by the Dodgers and they were their farm club, they had Dodger dogs at the park. Ye way overrated, way overrated. Not would not recommend.
I actually went to Dodger Stadium. I got lucky enough to see a game in Dodger Stadium and they were terrible.
Is that lucky?
I was trying to be nice.
Okay, I'm gonna go with my best hot dog I've had is probably at the Diamondback Stadium for baseball. That's where I'm gonna go. Is the best hot dog that I've had at a at a baseball game.
Have you ever been to a baseball game?
Ajer mm hmm yeah, uh, minor leagues. I know, I went to a major like when I was really really little. I don't remember very much, but a bunch of miners. For sure.
We should go. We should do an episode while watching it, or a hockey Wow, we can't do hockey, you know.
I'd honestly love like, I'd love to go to Vegas and watch an Aviators game because I've never been to that little stadium and it's nice. I think it'd be fun and it's a lot cheaper than going to pro game.
Yeah, all right, we have two more questions left, Ord, and you gotta get them both to go.
I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna try and not get a single one right this game. I'm playing golf.
I like the reverse, the reverse jinks, I like it, all right. Number four, Which number is larger fishermen on the planet or the amount of money spent on one pigeon?
I feel like this is a trick question fishermen.
I'm gonna have to go with the pigeon.
In one moment, a pigeon was purchased for one point four million dollars. However, there are way more fish that. Yeah, one million for a fucking pigeon, to fucking nuts, all right? Number five? Is there more cereal produced annually around the world or milk produced annually around the world? An you will leap anually annerally telling you it's kicking him.
Are we measuring this in like tons, grahams and tons tons? Tons? Serious? I'm gonna say milk.
Two point seven billion tons of cereal compared to eight hundred and forty one million tons of milk.
God damn it.
I got one right now. Fuck nice.
That's a lot, dude, two point seven billion tons, isn't.
I mean you just think about it, like, go down the grocery aisle and think of, like, just in one store, how much fucking cereal is in that? Yeah yeah, right, yeah, but there's also a lot of milk too.
But see, like my thought was, like, how much of the world has like cereal compared to how much the world is milk?
True?
Cows are everywhere?
True? True. You know what doesn't weigh a lot? Sprinkles the stick?
Classic classic? Got them? Sprinkles are for winners.
Good job, a Sprinkles are for winners.
Uh oh, go ahead.
And I was actually just gonna ask have you ever had cereal with anything but milk?
I did orange juice one time, and that would be the last time I would ever do that again. It was uh it was on a dare. Yeah, I think I was like ten nine or ten ot to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, save situation for me. And it was crystal pepsi and it was fucking phenomenal.
It was do you remember what cereal?
Frosted flakes? Frosted flakes was fucking phenomenal.
Do you know what it seems like could be really good with that as well. Honey nut cheerios and cheerios would be like really.
Good, but I like honey nut cheerios dry, like anal.
Yeah, throw them some trail mix.
Yeah they actually Oddly enough, Sam's Club has a honey nut cheers but it's like a honey bunches of oats and honeynut cheerios mash up. It is fucking amazing oats.
I used to love frosted and I remember frosted rice crispies and to eat the ship out of some frosted rice crispies.
Well, I was actually just having a nostalgic moment the other day because the only cereal we had in our house up until our groceries this weekend was corn flakes, and the only reason we had them was for baking. And so Ellie really wanted cereal and I was like, well this is all we have. She goes okay, and so I was like, I'll do it old school, and so I threw him in a bowl milk, and then I threw some sugar in there, so they were like homemade frosted flakes, and she ate two bowls. She was
like it's delicious. And then my wife and I were talking about it and like, remember, like that's like that was all you really had when you were a kid, unless your parents really spooged on the on the on the cereal, you know, And even then, there wasn't. I feel like there wasn't a stronomical amounts of cereal when we were little kids. No, not compared to what I mean. There there was, but not compared to like what now.
No, you had you had a couple different types of chocolate cereal. You had the fruit. You had a couple of different types of fruit cereal. So you had like fruity pebbles, fruit loops, right, you had lucky charms, you had honeycombs. I remember, honeycombs were like the newest thing for me.
Right about the grams? What was that?
Honey Yeah, honey grams?
Okay, Yeah, most disappointing one was like the wolf with the.
Cookie Cookie crisp cookie, the most overrated cereal on the planet, because I wanted you, you wanted your hands on it. The first time you see it as a kid, You're like give me that.
Yeah.
It's like I ate one bowl and didn't eat anything else out of that bocket.
It went back raisin cookie disguised as a regular cookie. Yeah, and then you buy and you're like, oh, what the fuck is this that? That was a regular.
Cookie, raisin bran. Most slept On cereal out there.
M I'm gonna go grape nuts Okay, yeah, I heat them up. Though it sounds weird, but you throw the milk in and throw them in the microwave.
Next level becomes oatmeal.
Next level that's good stuff.
Peanut butter, cap and crunch.
I said slept On. I said, that's not slept On. People love that ship.
I sleep on it because I hate Captain Crunch fair enough, all of it, the berries, the regular, the peanut butter. Never been a fan.
That's good.
It's something your mouth. Yeah, I'm saying it's tough.
It's like eating fucking glass.
Uh smacks, yeah, smacks, apples, apple jacks. Another one that is like super to me, underrated that people don't talk enough about is pops. Corn pops those by those dry without milk. Oh, those are a snack right there?
You fucking what was it? The mic kicks that's another one, dude.
Yeah, I didn't like kicks either.
Didn't like kicks.
I loved fruity pebbles, but I did not like cocoa pebbles. No, I was never a like chocolate cereal fan of any.
Kind of thought. I like cocoa pebbles.
I remember that guys always had a box in your house.
You had to eat them so fast before they got soggy. You had to, like you had to, like literally flash eat those, dude, you see me eat Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough.
AJ could never make it through a bowl of pretty pebbles as much.
Yeah. I can't do mushy cereal, but I can do oatmeal, which is odd, right, you can do I can do oatmeal, but I can't do mushy cereal. There's something about it. Why, Maybe I don't know, just a weird fucking psychological thing. Maybe if I heated it up. Maybe if I had warmed it up in the microwave, nuke it for a couple of minutes. See.
I never correlate oatmeal and cereal as being in the same realm. I just me personally. I don't.
Okay, Yeah, I mean that's fair enough. They are, but it's fine they are.
Yeah. I don't disagree with you. I just don't correlate them as in this like I'm like, oh, do I want cereal to oatmeal? Like like it's I never would think of one or the other at the same time because I just feel like they're completely different things.
How are they completely different?
That's just how I view it the same. That's how I view it. How I would never look at my pantry and be like, Okay, I have I have frosted shreaded weeds, I have honeynut cheerios, I have oat meal, I have you know, frosted flakes. I would never My oatmeal is like totally separate.
Like it like oatmeal and cereal to you is like cereal and toast to me, like, toast is not cereal.
Sure, saltines is, though it's not.
It is.
It's a cracker sal saltines is not cereal.
After we get off of this, you go throw in some saltines in a bowl with some milk and then call it like a puke.
No, no, delicious.
Listen, that's so good.
If I want, if I want to feel closer to my ancestors, I'm doing something else, not even fucking don't guess yourself.
I'm done with this world. Throw the broiler on and let me in, baby, can you close the door behind me?
Brady comes out. My head's in the fucking oven.
Are you doing sticky it out? You look like fucking airy up a fucking home alone bird wristp on top.
Have you seen have you seen him as a sculptor? Have you seen him recently?
No, that's Marv and that video.
That's fucking crazy.
That video gave me all kinds of he be gebis.
Yeah, yeah, dude, like he's got somebody in his bed.
Yeah.
Well he sculpted this chick who's like in this like sexual post and he's like caressing like the way he just like, I'm like, it's kind of weird. Yeah, it's kind of weird. You know, won too many bricks to the face and he he turned out kind of weird.
Do you hear the are making another Goonies. Goonies two is official. Goony's two is official. I don't know how I feel about it.
Oh, Stone doesn't look happy. He looks like it's good. One of those things like.
It took too long.
Yeah, but maybe because it took too long, it'll still be good.
Probably not.
It's Spielberg again, So there's that I mean Spielberg I think has more successful sequels than he does not, So I think the odds are in our favor for being good. But there's always that off chance for You're like, do we have to do Dress Park three?
Yeah?
You know, and then like we get we get Goonies too, and we're like John Asten is hurting for money?
Oh, I mean shit, it's well forty years later, yeah, forty years later.
God damn, has it really been about It's got as old as me. Yeah, yeah, yep.
Nineteen eighty five is forty years ago. Now, so that means breakfast.
Club Jesus Christ.
On that note, sixteen candles, damn going to bed.
All right, Well, let's wrap this bitch up with the bow dazz on Dick website one sixty three catch next week.
Peace out.
Hey, what do you call flying jew? Mm hmm smoke.
It's a hot take, man, You all cast no breaks.
Text to me. It was a real place.
It was legit a real place.
What was it called?
Again? Secret for the last the second secretary for in a mall in a he's looking it up.
Why would you think that's the real place. It's doctor Badger's office in Flagstaff. That's why I gave you the name.
Okay, well you never you never corrected. I saw I'm like.
J found the results though.
So I found a Tumblr page and it said this guy really believed he had a twenty percent off coupon.
It's antsy as an anti project.
I bought the lands and my neighbor did it.
Fucking why where did you get it?
Interest?
I already had the soldering iron here, so she's the one we use for stained glass.
Dude.
I swear to God, like, hey, you don't need the twenty percent off.
We could tell d wait, do you want me to take twenty percent off or hand percent?
I don't think twenty percent to make a big difference. Way until let's just call a spade of spade, dude.
I watched. I was awake for the whole process, and I'm telling you right now I could one thousand percent. They just do it in a chair. Yeah, they had to volume and they didn't even do that.
Dude.
He literally took he did a local for both testicles. He did a local and both testicles, and then he caught me open tube. Yeah, he cut me open. He pulled the tube. He's like, you want to check it out. I was like, no, I'm good, just keep going. I I one thousand percent believe I could fucking do these for a living.
Hands down, hands fucking down.
I can't do this, So there's no fucking question about it.
Dude.
The same guy who s pants it worked it without a ladder and kicked it out of his kicked it out so it fell down. They got it two days ago, sent you in Texas said hey, don't get.
Icy hot in your ass cracked. Yeah, big mistake, dude.
It burns so fucking bad.
Oh, you might as well just put bear spray in there.
It was. It was pretty rough. Ironically enough, icy hot on the asshole is more sensitive than on your balls, which is kind of weird. I didn't expect that though.
No, no, it makes total sense.
Well, I guess you're Have you seen that thing where people like dip their balls in uh like soy sauce and they tell you that it can taste salt like you taste the salt. There's a connection between your testicles and your your taste buds. No, no, no, it's supposed to be science. I don't know. I haven't tried it yet.
The only thing I was able to look up was a Philip Williams M d off And I was like.
Doctor Badger, look up, look up Badgers, doctor Badger, Yeah, doctor Badger. B A D G E R.
Think I'm just kidding.
M hm.
Trick question, trick answer. I should say, Chili Williams is out of an O B G Y N office.
Oh ship, I'll tell you right now. I'm fucking quickly turning into Mike Tyson.
Walked in like, uh, sir, you book, it's ma'am and my friends call me a big pussy, so I'm here.
Okay, did you get a tattoo above your eye? That's Mike Tyson's tattoo.