Welcome to Dad's One Day Clok. Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point.
You know, per my girlfriend's request, I took her to an orchard. I picked an apple tree and started staring at it. She asked what I was doing, and I said, well, we're watching the apples and the tree, just like you wanted, sweetheart. She said, no, honey, I had something else in mind when I asked for an apple.
Watch fucking Loser, Loser.
It was Dad's on de quel. Uh episode one sixty. We're back and I've already lost count.
I'm known, I'm I'm stone baby.
After one hundred and sixty episodes, we actually have a horn sound to use. I think we had one when it was Dom and I in person. Yeah, well, I don't think we ever used it. Maybe once, maybe I don't know, Maybe.
I don't recall those days.
Episode Is that where we're at one fifty nine?
Oh shit?
All right, well one fifty nine. I don't have a rewind button, so we're not rewinding Dad stories. Anybody have any interesting you got something?
Dope? No, not really for this week. The kids were over with cas, so you know, it was kind of a white week for me, I got to focus on work and some other stuff. I picked him up from school a couple of times, Callie Kelly. They came back today and Kelly's like, Dad, I need to have a talk with you. I was like, okay, what's going on. She's like, well, it's a sit down conversation. I was like, uh, okay, you good. And she's on her period, so I knew,
like I knew that there's high emotions. And she's like, well, no, it's fine, we can do it later. I'm like, okay, fine. So about ten maybe fifteen minutes later, so she she's sitting at the kitchen table. I'm doing the dishes and she's looking at me and she's like, okay, can we have this talk. I'm like, wow, you're gonna tell me you have a boyfriend. It's fine. And she's like, how'd you know. It's like, I just know I know these things. She's like, God, Mom tell you. I'm like, no, Mom
didn't tell you. Mom didn't tell me. She said, well, how'd you know? It's like, sweetheart, you told me that you had started talking to a boy. You're fourteen. You were giddy about the fact that you were talking to this boy, it's common sense. I knew it was coming, knew it was coming a mile away. She's like, oh, and then she proceeds to start crying because I didn't throw a fit, and she was happy that she thought I was gonna be super mad at her and super
pissed off. I was like, it's bound to happen at some point, Like, what about was I supposed to do? Do You're to fucking run out with a shaka? And like when I meet the kid, I'll punch him in the face the first time I see him and move on with life and be fine, Yeah.
You ain't.
You ain't ready to be a man and listen, listen to your girlfriend's dad fuck his girlfriend in the room across the hall, and get the fuck out of here.
You know, just be one of those things where yeah, like they're getting to that age, man, you know, I.
Mean, I knew it was coming. It was a bound happened at some point.
It's not to happen now. The question is are you ready to approach that subject? If it's reverse.
And like, you hear those sounds, do you just let it go? Do you hear I hear any of those sounds coming? From her room the door. The door will be kicked in, and I will proceed to grab him by the throat.
Fourteen.
Listen. I understand I started at eight, but I would have expected somebody to fucking come in on me.
I'm just saying, I don't know why my parents didn't. Wait, wait, you what, I don't know why my parents never did for me, Like my dad kind of like almost did one came in, but no, like like like kicked in the door for me. Because okay, so here's a little backstory.
When I was eighteen and we moved into a new house, I thought would be really smart to take out the frame and just have my box spring and my mattress on my f but I broke a big support beam on the bottom from all the you know, and that thing just went against the floor every single time we went heels to Jesus with anybody, and my parents knew every single time it was happening because my room was
directly above the living room. So while they were sitting down there, boom boom boom, boom boom boom, and after three seconds it stop hearing it, because you know, that's the average time for most people. But you know, The moral of the story is, uh, be fucking quiet. People, be quiet and kick down your kids doors and let them know. Hey, Like, can you stop? Like you're terrifying
everybody in the house. Oh my bad, because I had to find out like years later for my parents and they're like, oh no, we knew every single time you did, and it was so annoying when din'd you right tell me?
Didn't you ever tell me?
I think that's kind of nice of them, though, I mean that they let you, They let you keep going, they let you keep it a secret. Could I just see a hand behind me?
Yeah? Yeah, I saw that too. I thought it was like a dog's or a cat's tail or something, and then I was like, why would they be that tall?
That was definitely a hand. Anyway, what do you guys got?
I don't have much. I made a really good I guess not redneck snack tonight, but it was a good snack. And I'm telling you though, all it was missing was like that hot honey like that or like a holopino jelites.
Why don't you tell the listeners what it was.
To like text you and be like what the fuck was forgotten? Like I don't know what what happened?
It was a it was a rich cracker yep, with quote unquote Deli cut salami.
What else would I call it.
Salami?
No?
No, no, no, no, no, not just salami because when you by just salami, that's already pre cut and it's been sitting in the refrigerated aisle for potentially years. I don't like that.
Want the freest it is the whitest third world country ship you could say, is the fact that you designated as Deli cut salami that is rich people ship. Did you say third world?
I'm pretty sure you meant first world.
So it's like like African kids would have to like disagree with you that.
I don't think it's the same thing.
You know, Uh No, I think most rednecks when they when they hear the word like Deli, they think that's where there it guys from who's fixing their computer? They don't know that. It's like people have computers, Yeah no, my computers. Like really, it's just I'm giving the benefit of the doubts the computer in their car. It'm you know, track.
So yeah, So anyway, I made a snack that had ritz cracker salami, cottage cheese and a pickle Hamburger style cut dill pickle, and that has to be sick because you can't just throw, like, you know, a spear on that thing, right you could.
Some of us are men.
Yes, you know, it doesn't really work.
You just it sounds delicious. Yeah, it does. It sounds delicious.
It was really good though, but it was it was missing the spice. It needed needed a little heat spice somewhere in there. Still delicious, so still slacked.
Yeah, you could have put one of those mic hot honey potato chips on it.
I don't think I had any.
That sounds good.
It was really good.
Yeah, I like it, you know, I have a have dad story. So earlier this week, I guess Avery was talking with Alissa and Avery was like, yeah, whenever I go to Wally WANs like, they go ahead and you know, they give me an award for like being the best picture drawer. And Lissa was like, what, you got an award for that? And she was like, yeah, I did. And then later in the week it came up in conversation and Alyssa was like, what's this Wally Wombat's place? Why? Why is every winning awards?
Like that's really cool?
And I was like, fucking awards are you talking about? What? This is a place where there's like an indoor jungle gym. That's what wall I want. Met says, what are we talking about? What award? She was like yeah, like Avery was telling me the story about how like she was like won this competition for picture drawing and it was like the best picture drawer and got an award. And I was like, no, she did not, What the fuck is she talking about? And Alyssa was like what the fuck?
I was like, let's bring it up to her. And so like the next day she was like, hey, Avery, did you at You told me at Wally Wombats you were the best person that was a picture drawer and they you won an award for Is that right? And she's looking at her and she looks back at me and looks at it listen and was like maybe I don't know. And Alyssa was like, you were fibbing. You just straight told me a little bit of the tall tail there, kid, okay, And it was like what And
I was like, yeah, kid, don't be down stuff. If it's like not happening, you know what's what that means? But yeah, no, you and I both know that there was no like stuff at wally Wombats for you to be the best picture drawer. There's no competition. And it was like, oh sure, I guess yeah. It made me think of like, how many hilarious things has like her? Like some other kids been like yeah, you know, like, uh defeated three dogs in the alley the other day with one hand tied behind my back.
She's your fucking kid. She's your fucking kid. The guy who thinks he could take on a fucking cougar and I know a fifty year old female I did take.
On a cougar.
We're good for a minute.
You walk into this place and there's a picture of your daughter. It slice drawer the month She's like, see, I fucking told you.
Okay, So for real though, real quick, I do need to make an announcement on this podcast that a couple of weeks ago, I did witness how big a mountain lion actually can be, and I severely underestimated the size of how big they can be. And I will officially like to withdraw my statement because I am.
I'm pretty sure on the show when you said that I I specifically said the size of a fucking mountain lion. You're like, that's all right.
I was thinking like the size of the cougar, like a bobcat, which is like super small.
I was ready to give next time. We're gonna stay here. We're gonna stay here for just a moment.
Go ahead. First off, a fucking cougar and a bobcat are massively different. Like we're talking one hundred pounds worth of fucking animal. Different muscle, pure muscle. Dude, it's not bat on these fucking animals. It's muscle. It's not a house cat. It's not a lazy fucking garfield. Okay, this is a chew your face off, caught your fucking throat with its teeth.
Animal. Oh I love you.
Just to be clear, a bobcat is typically between twelve and thirty five pounds, okay. A cougar is roughly one hundred and forty with a waste of hold on, with a waste seventy your wife's what is this seventy to two hundred and fifty, two hundred and fifty fucking pounds.
Yeah, dude, See, even the bobcat would fuck you up. Just first and foremost, even the.
Bobcat would fuck you one hundred percent would period audience. This was a clinic on how to trigger your co hosts. Take note.
You're welcome fuck.
Again. Oh god, it's so goddamn good, well so good.
Anyway, it's your it's your rundown stoned. So let's let's get right into it. What you got for us?
Yes, first thing we got up here is I love this segment. We did it a long time ago and I really wanted to bring it back. But it was things you can say, uh, in the bedroom or you know, and like, you know, we'll give it a scenario where you think of funny ass things to say where you'd kind of staying in both situations.
Right.
The first thing we got up here is things you would say in the bedroom or at work. You know, we'll just round robin this, you know. The first one I got up here is, you know, things you would say in the bedroom, are at work? Be careful when you touch that.
Mmmm. Let's just go you me and then Dom. Yeah all right, So I really appreciate your help on this project.
Can you hand me that dildo? We're going to porn job?
What do you want me to?
What do you what? His saying?
I work with construction workers. Bro, I've seen him in excavators.
The shifter broke.
That's all I had.
I had to grab my wife's American Challenge so we could fucking get this ring going again.
Freedom as hard as a rock. Uh this this job requires you to be able to lift heavy objects.
Oh man, you always come on time.
Oh nice, all right, it's your turn with Cliff's wife.
Huh job, good job, you're working. Oh god, all.
Right, I need a break.
It's time to eat.
Mm hmmm mm hmm. I can't believe how flexible you are.
Are you done putting that in your mouth?
Bro?
Oh man, it's good. Is that where we're doing? We're doing three each?
Yeah, we'll do three each for each one. Yeah. So the next one we get up here is things you would say in the bedroom or when meeting her parents for the first time.
Or his or his parents or his parents like whoever?
Should you know? I think I did. I assume a lot of shitude. It's one of those things where it is what it is, but what I would say, you know, I thinks you can say in the bedroom or meeting her parents the first time is a that's a firm grip.
You know, I had a really tough time with this specific sect, this this specific set. I remember telling Dom about this. Uh so the first one I got is, so, this is things you could say in the bedroom or when meeting her, in my case, her parents. Okay, that's where she gets her cock from.
My first one is, uh, did you microwave this mozzarella?
Mozzarella?
Oh god?
I missed you boys. Oh look, it's so nice to see them again.
So is missus Johnson and anal two? Or not really?
Sorry, my good asslest chaps were dirty? Wait?
Do you have a twin?
I've loved you, I've loved what you've done with your bush. Miss Johnson, does your palm normally taste like this?
It's good?
It's my favorite one and so far all right? Next one, things you would say in the bedroom or at the barbecue? Can you do me a favorite? Can you rub that glaze all over?
Is that macaroni at here?
Damn? I burnt the chicken again?
Oh god, this one's Alyssa's favorite. I like them black and with a bite.
M hm, cause along with mine. I don't like the burnt ones.
These need more lube like oil, like oil.
Every single time somebody's like, oh, the recipe require olive oil and be like nah, loop, then in a jiffy, put them weener in them buns.
Mm hmmm. This turned into a sausage fest and a hurry.
A little shit never hurt nobody. I'm stilled it anyway.
I got a couple extra on this one.
He wants to to got that cover on before it stains.
Mm hmm.
I'll take a raw.
H goddamn, here.
I got two more.
That's a big sausage.
Shire Farms.
It's rock hard when it's frozen.
Who's ready for cornhole? Let the fireworks begin.
I want you to go in the deep end.
God damn it. Uncle's drunk again.
It's so pink on the inside.
I hated that your sister always shows up so late. Actually know, let me change that.
I hated that your sister always comes so late. There we go.
Fuck, that's good stuff. I love it. Those are those are really fun ones. And then and yeah, those those definitely do a throwback to this, which just makes me think, if you're listening to this and you and you're on our socials, thank you. If you're not, go find our socials. Just search Dad's on d equal podcast and order without podcasts,
you'll find us. But yeah, if you want to hear one that you want us to do, you know things, you can stay in the bedroom and you know, in Auschwitz, let us know, we'll do it, you know.
But it is a barbecue.
Is it supposed to be that hot in there.
It's a little ashy, But you'll be fine. If you have any hit us up, shoot them out, shout them out. I don't know.
Yeah, just let us know. Yeah, let us know. We're happy to do it. Happy to do it, happy to do it. Mm hmm.
Should be squirting everywhere, so happy.
Just you know, thank god the Holocaust didn't happen with Catholics, because it would just be happening Wednesdays for ash Wednesday.
Did you know the Catholics were actually on the Germans side for the longest time.
Was Muslims. Yeah, yeah, let's get rid of a religion. Let's narrow this one down. That's why they went into North Africa.
Yeah, they were, they were all for it, until all of a sudden they realized they were gonna lose, and them like, oh ship up.
Oh.
You turn.
Well, I mean it, I mean it kind of makes sense. That the Vaticans in Italy. Right, Italy was on the bad side, so right, so what's going to help their cause?
I mean to to literally take.
Out an entire Let's let's be real. The only reason Italy was on their side was they misunderstood the entirety of of Hitler. They heard Oven and they were like, oh, fucking pizza. It's a pizza, pizza, pizza.
When the man answers, so.
Do you guys got more coals out back or no? Yeah, grab the body and just throw them on there and it'll heat right up.
They misunderstood wood fire.
Now we use the wood.
We use a wood, a wood fire, and to cool the pizza, they're like, yeah, to cool cut The.
People Germans are like, wow, look at you guys. You know, we never would have thought of would you guys.
So expensive?
We thought was wood everywhere?
Bill.
That's probably the best Germans you've ever known.
Yeah, oh man, all right, we let's take it a little quick break and we'll be right back.
What that has to be now that I think about it, the Germans had to have had the fucking world's largest gas bill, like ever in history.
Never mind, I don't know if I ever told you guys on the Back in the Day podcast of this, because the show came out in twenty nineteen, so it'd have been before we did this podcast, so I don't know if we've just ever revisited this. My wife, though, didn't realize Chernobyl was real until we were watching the Chernobyl series on HBO and we got like through episode two or three and she turns to me and she goes, wait,
this is real. And I looked at Hi. I'm like, shut the fuck up, and she's like, no, for real, this was real, And I'm like, you didn't know about Chernobyl.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I bugged up Chernobyl. No Ways to Die.
It's almost almost we're almost able to go back in there, almost almost like almost years away.
Almost. All right, let's take a quick break and then we'll be right back. Welcome back to Channel D News. Holy shit, we are back. I am your host, Squirt my bottom joining me later, Chipselli quick from the streets and storm a blowing with a weather update in our first story, Harbin, China. Even as the mercury dropped well below freezing, youthism soared among about how a dozen hardy swimmers during a daily ritual in northeast China's ice city
of Harbin. The swimmers trained daily throughout the year for this. They first carved out a pool in the song Hua River, breaking the ten centimeter which is four inches huge ladies thick layer of ice that had formed again overnight, and scooping out the pieces. Then they stripped down one by one plunged into the bone chilling waters of a pool about ten meters thirty feet long. One thing that wasn't long was Wing Wong Ching Chong's pecker chip what he got from the streets, buddy.
Thank you, squirt. I imagine that was a really small penie. Boys, it feels so good to be here. After seeing all of my ex colleagues in Hollywood lose their homes and literal foundations, I decided to take a change of direction in life. Before I would shit all over them until finding out about the fire, and then I would offer condolences. But now I want to shut on them after the fire. I'm better at grabbing low hanging fruit, as you would say, and making a profit off of it than Jake Paul.
You know, it became really apparent that the fires could not have been prevented if we could have been prevented, rather if we had just listened to Mel Gibson on the Joe Rogan experience, because it was really simple that the fires were a message from Gold. The message was loud and clear. That Chip set it quick. Should have gotten all the rolls he lost in Hollywood to whoever his house burnt down in the Palisades and Melibu and now here. I am thriving in a.
Van down by the fucking river, like the god.
Chris Folly intended. My home is intact and my insurance is solid. Fuck all of you. Back to you, Squat, Thank you, Chip.
It's good to hear your voice speaking of a van down by a river. We have somebody even more retarded and poor than that storm of blowing. I hear there's a weather updates storm. Are you there?
Hey, here's quirk kind knows he man. I went on a cruise to the Bahamas. Yeah, but dude, the nasty weather. I ended up in the middle of the bur Beaudy Triangle. Uh, it's aw some crazy shit while I was there. Man, you know, a couple of things are the craziest thing. I wasn't the Mermaid or even the giant squidze. But I saw Bill Gates, eh man, it was on a yacht hunting down dolphins and shit, uh he said, there seeming is a secret to ever last in life. You
guys fucking know that. That's fuck crazy. I'm pretty sure he's behind the LA fires. But did you know that the weather has changed history like a couple of times, like in history, like you know, like it's changed it like from happening like the like the bombing of Nagasaki.
I think that's what it's called, na Nagasaki.
I don't remember. Anyway, it wasn't it wasn't even supposed to happen. Man, the pilot was supposed to go to the bomb to bomb Kokura, but there was like too much cloud cover whatnot, so he couldn't see and ship. And instead of being a true fucking American and just get her there done, he took the easy way out and just went to the next town. And anyways, winters everywhere but La right now, So watch out for snow.
Yeah, thank you storm for that beautiful weather update. In our last story, Charlte, North Carolina, imagine having five gallons of mayonnaise dumped all over your head. Well that's exactly what winning head coach of the annual Duke's Mayo Bowl receives as a reward for winning the game at Bank of America Stadium, a tradition born in twenty twenty one as the Duke Mayo, the Duke's Mayo look to carve out its unique niche in the college football bowl world.
Each year, the Mayo dump trends on social media, and college football fans just can't seem to look away, no matter how disgusting the idea is to some observers. Well, next year, it's been a run. The Duke's Mayo Bowl has been replaced by Roseanne's Powdered Sugar Bowl. Looking forward to seeing that one. For channelty News, I'm scoring my bottom. We'll see you next time.
Storm's a fucking blowing.
All right, Yeah, it's good. It's good to be back the fucking news. The goddamn retards of the news.
Oh listen, hard hitting, they get it out there. They tell you what you want to hear.
That's true, What you need to hear, that's true, what you need to hear.
You know.
You know what we've never uh, what we've never heard on the news is we've never heard sports. A sports segment. We've only heard. We've only heard the you know, a couple of ship stories, the dissing stories, some news. Occasionally Uncle Polly makes an appearance.
Maybe Uncle PAULI could do sports next week. Maybe I can ask.
I've got a baseball bat and drunk, doesn't he?
He do? Is? Yeah, pretty decent swing.
There you go, All right, Stone, let's let's continue. Let's continue on your rundown. What do you got for us?
So the next segment was spawned by seeing this post. And it was like back in like two thousand and five, like what was your favorite music? What was your favorite place to go? This? That? This? That? And I was like, that'd be one thing to do every now and then for an episode. I like it a pick a random year and just just like tell us, like either your favorite or like the year's trending? What was going on
that year? You don't either? Were works? Got a couple of things on the list here, you know, So the year was twenty fourteen, bring us that nostalgia, you know, the musical.
How did you decide? Sorry I didn't rupt, how did you decide on the year two fourteen? Twenty fourteen. Did you like pick that out of your fucking asshole?
Sorry, yeah I did. Yeah. I grabbed a dingleberry, and then when I was about to eat it, I was like, wait, hold on, maybe I'll pop this open and be a little message inside, like one of those, you know, a little express and then yeah, it's a twenty fourteen lucky numbers.
And help I'm stuck in Some dudes, seriously, did you like?
Because Okay, so I did a little bit of research, not a whole lot. We all know the truth, but I did so, and twenty fourteen was a fucking banger of a choice.
Dude, what yeah, are you fucking high? I like, yeah, I felt like Stone.
Last years from twenty ten to twenty twenty.
I feel like Stone was high out of his fucking gorge. There's some good things on here, and some things.
Were just dog shit. Okay, but let's go with it.
But I like it. I like, you know, having to relive like it's ten years ago, eleven, it's eleven years ago now, so it's it definitely is some nostalgia. I just thought there's some years around there where Stone says twenty fourteen, Like there's some years right around there that I would I would have preferred, but but that's but it's his rundown. He picked it. Well, I'm happy, let's get let's do it.
Yeah.
Yeah, So the first one I got this on here is musical artist. Now me, I didn't go with my preferred musical artists. I just like picked one from the list of like top trending that year. Sure, sure that I remember the most. And because it's so impactful right now for what just happened to one of those members, it's One Direction. One Direction was fucking enormous. They were huge. They were like the fucking Beatles. It was insane. They were only going to the world and they were only
going up. Yeah, only going up. And then one of them took a drastic fall. Yeah, clumsy mistake as they would say, but but yeah, it was crazy. It was all over the place. I remember working in Seers, working in what's it called the storage and it was on the radio all the time, all day, every day. Ninety four to one, I said, O, the one ninety five like one of those had them on too, And yeah, they were just all over the place, like you could not you could not get away from any department store.
They were all over, what about you, dumb? What did you have for music artists of twenty fourteen?
So remember Ed Cheering. I kind of expected you guys to go a different route, So that's kind of I ended up going the same route Ed Cheering. It was just a hot on the scene. He had done some collaps with a bunch of other people, but he came out with that X album, which was, you know, for a lot of people, phenomenal. I thought there were some really good songs on it, and he that was his whole,
like real start into his own career. And so I thought that was kind of cool because Taylor Swift, I mean, Taylor Swift was hot one direction was hot at the time, you know, in that pop culture or pop era. But he that was his start, right, So that that was kind of who I picked because there was that that launch of his career that has turned into something I think just phenomenal for him.
No me, I had to go with my my runner up because the first one was Bobby Schmurder and I can't say his title of his music otherwise because I'm white and I'm not allowed to say that. So I'm gonna go with my runner up and My runner up was Bloodstone and Diamonds, the album by machine Head released, and it was to me that was one of the albums. As it grew, it got better and better. But one of my favorite machine Head songs of all time is on that album. So, uh, it's great. I actually really
love that album. So that's what I was listening to.
I remember back then when you were you were all about machine Head and uh, you were just on like twenty four seven, and it was at that point that I was really on, yeah, because it was Cold Chambers, Cold Chamber, Had Cup got back for Rivals? Yeah, it was Cold Chamber. And then I was also like getting really in a Devil Driver. Yeah.
Yeah, the early twenty tens two between twenty ten to twenty fifteen was a really good year for a lot of genres of music.
I think.
That was to both of you.
While you guys are looking at that, the next one is a twenty fourteen movie movie. I just already you can't get in Trouble. It's the title right in history. If you're in history class, what are you gonna do?
You know?
How do you pronounce that country? In Africa?
They're in a hard r in it, so you know what I'm saying.
No, there is, but I'm just you know what am I supposed to do? It's a country fair enough anyway, Nija, It's just Nija, Niga, please you.
Yeah. So so movie dude, movies.
Okay, I'm going first. I'm going first. Listen, Okay, listen to this. Fuck you all in your both of you, screw your blist. I don't give a ship Garden, Guardians of the Galaxy, Fucking Nightcrawler, X Men, Days of Future Past.
Dawn of the Planet of Apes, the Lego movie. You can that's where we take it over Stone. What do you got next? The leg where it.
Listen, dude, Captain America got Jilla John Wick, John Wick.
Okay, dude, I redeem yourself.
This this is seriously the Okay, the Amazing Spider Man too, The Hobbit came out, Transformer Age of Extinction, dude, moleficent.
Hero. This was the year where two we had way too many fucking hero movies and we're oversaturating the market. That's what that year was. That makes sense.
So out of those, which one was like most notable one for you.
Big Hero six, Big Go six, phenomenal, Like it's a cute movie.
I love that movie. ID doesn't watch it enough anymore. It makes me sad.
Okay movies, yeah, Bay max out out of all those movies. Guardians, that's the real answer piece of ship, and I hope that's come in your bottle, you know me. I actually picked this one off off track thinking the same ship that you guys were gonna go.
You know what you guys would go with.
I knew that Dome would go with all the heavy Avenger style movies because that's what he was into. Guardians is one of my favorites. But Boyhood Neighbors Neighbors was perfect for me. It was that time because you have
I was twenty eight years old at that time. You know, you have a kid, so you're stuck at that age where you still want to hang out and still want to party, but you also have to be responsible and you know, so having that message of neighbors where you have the married couple with a kid next to a frat house, it just spoke volumes to me at the time. Yeah, so many better movies in that year than that movie, but that one for me personally at the.
Hunger Games also came out.
Yeah, like there's a.
There's a fucking list, dude for that year. Yeah, it's called IMDb. If you want to look it up, you just type in twenty fourteen stone, what do you got.
So good? All right?
Literally find any movie you want from that.
Three hundred came out that year. The second one, the Rise of an Empire. Holy fuck, god damn, three.
Hundred came out of the year two thousand and five came back. They want their movie back.
Every one where you could see having Eva Green's Tits.
Dumb and Dumber two.
Yeah, okay, time, what movie did you get?
The movie I picked? And this is like one of my all time favorites and this is probably like the favorite of the lineup, Like this is the end is almost there, But the interview.
I had, I saw that on there as well.
The interview because we almost started a fucking war with North Korea over.
A fucking movie, over a comedy fucking movie.
Comedy movie, a comedy movie, right, the same guys knocked up this is the end.
He hatus because they amus.
Like your highness like like bro, like we almost started a fucking international conflict because of they hate us because they anus. Do you just say anis.
Quacamole.
I remember back in those days before we had the streaming, like we only really had Netflix, but it wasn't on Netflix. I bought it on Apple iTunes, Yeah, and I downloaded it and it took me like four fucking hours, and then two days later it came on Netflix. Were mad, so fucking mad, but I watched it again on Netflix just because, but goddamn it was so fucking good.
Love it, love it. What do we got next?
All? Right, next we got a piece of technology. What was a piece of technology that came out that was that was just so like like like changed everything around, or change your perspective where you were just addicted to could be anything. For me, it was the USB C chord like that year.
Technology. I literally read an article that was exactly that, and I'm like, of everything, that's what you've chose, Marty McFly fucking hoverboard was invented in twenty fourteen, and we're going with a USB C cable.
Because I knew you were gonna go with the hoverboard.
I was being no, no, no, I didn't pick I didn't pick the hoverboard.
Oh you fucking loser. I for sure thought you were gonna pick that one because I saw that one too, and I was like, Jordan's definitely gonna do that one because of Back to the Future.
But now I didn't mine my pick, actually did not. I didn't start using when it came out. It was probably not until four years later. Maybe was smart watches, but smart watches coming in. Think think of fast forward now ten years where we're at with smart watches now you know what I mean.
Yeah, we're smart glasses. Now we got smart glasses. So true, No they're not watches. We've shifted to a different part of our body.
I didn't realize this until a little while ago. But the smart glasses is like some real James James Bond shit, like real James Bond shit. It's great, Like we're here, you know, Like if the people back in the sixties and seventies came back and they were like, like, do you guys have like the James Bond spyglasses? Actually, yeah we do.
What do you use them for?
You guys have porn people shaped like space ships? Oh yeah we do, yeah, pouring it's good ship. We really it really would be like it would came It would have came true, like all those futuristic shows and ship what it came true.
They're like, what do you use the spyglasses for? Actually? With the besides porn? The number one use is Karen's used them. What do you mean Karen's. Oh, those are these people that they go places just to complain and start a ruckus, and so they will film it with their glasses just try and get a rise out of these employees for views.
Sobody, that's what we use them for. Mine's three D printing.
That was I almost went with that one. Yeah, yeah, three D printing is pretty cool, but then I saw a fucking hover board. I like the next one public scandal.
I was surprised at what I found.
There's only two. There's only two that matter. Can I go first on this one?
Yeah?
Okay, uh, let's be real. The only scandal that mattered was the fappening and then maybe Bill Cosby think of how large the fappening was, Like you literally started thinking of every celebrity you at that time that you wanted to see naked, and it was basically there. You got Scar Joe, you got j Law and that's it. You didn't need.
Anymore, right, Emma Watson, Yeah, yeah, you just.
The list kept going they were there, if they if they've taken them, they were there. Like that was such. It was such a huge thing in a mentality of men forever as far as movies go, because you've always sad.
What do they look like?
Now?
Of course we have not looked to this list ourselves. We've just read the article pigs, you know, family. We wouldn't know that the girl from Victoria Justice was in there. We had no idea about that, right, it's respectful.
I don't even know who it is.
So shows the picture like, oh, yeah, I've seen that.
One saving to this bank bank again.
Click my glasses click.
Oh that's good, that's fucking good. What about you, dumb uh?
So I found the police investigation in Rome. So I guess Italy had uncovered a criminal network called the Mafia Capital, which involved corruption in the city's public administration and political processes.
The investigation led to arrests of dozens of people, including politicians and businessmen, and like I guess, the criminals had exploited the influx of immigrants to Italy to gain contracts from managing migrant reception centers, and like they had accepted payments for substandard or non existent services period, and like I guess, it was like a it was a massive fucking thing with millions and millions of dollars, but it led to where would it go? It was forty one
people were convicted. There's a lot. That's a lot, and essentially, you know, people were fucking robbing these politicians and businessmen were robbing Rome like blind.
So all right, it just so happens to be they're the ones that got caught.
Yeah, exactly. And that's just the ones that got caught and tried. You know, forty forty one people is a lot of fucking people, dude. But yeah, and I had never heard about it, so it was kind of.
Cool, nice, what are you guys?
Don't for me?
Was isis? ISIS came out that year and was threatening the world? Oh yeah, I think then. And then they were like taken out in like six weeks or something like a couple of years later. It's hilarious. But I just remember I remember my uncle Chuck and a couple of family members down in Texas and they held up their marine signs and their cult nineteen eleven's and they were like, come get some ices, Like it's just burned into my brain, and I was like, oh, uncle Chuck,
that Vietnam era of soldiers. Goddamn, goddamn, they would have had a maid if they had the weapons that you know, we didn't know.
Yeah, but you.
Know they went in there was some fucking weapons.
Yeah.
But I think it's just hilarious that they this group just declared war on the world and they were being aggressive and then yeah, six weeks and they were gone.
They're gone now.
It took them six weeks. Trump took them out. ISIS.
ISIS was still around for a little while and then they just disappeared. And now instead of fighting over ISIS and bullshit like that, we fight over gender and fucking color like idiots.
Mm hmm, right, Like I know it's red, it's not blue.
And when I say color, I don't just meet color of skin.
I mean.
Like, yeah, anyway, yeah not you fire boys and girls have vaginers, doesn't matter.
Like like kindergarten cop is now offensive because that little kid, because.
That little kid was spitting science facts.
The little kid was transphobic.
It's insane, dude, what fag.
What do we got next?
Food?
Food or this one's big for me, This one's big for foods.
Food's big for me too.
Mm hmm.
Food's big for me too. So I'll go you, I'll go.
This is the first time that I ever went to Chicago, so this is the first time I ever got to eat Chicago deep dish in Chicago.
Okay, okay, so let's move on from that. Okay, just kid, pine, go ahead, go ahead, stupid talk about your stupid fucking lasagna. No, it's LAZIGNI is disgusting talk about your what really, what the fuck do you think a deep dish fucking pizza is from Chicago? It's fucking lazagna.
It's not.
It's lasagnia with less pasta, layers, bingo, and pie. It's more of a soup.
It's closer to a pie.
It's for sure.
Pie.
Yeah, yeah, pizza, pizza pie. Anyway, that was the first time I got to go to Chicago, first time I got to have that, and I love it. So I don't like it. I've had it a couple of places, not Chicago, and it's just not it doesn't it's not the same.
What's the difference.
I don't know, I really don't know. I've even had the ones that they the popular chains making freeze and they're good, but they're not. I don't know, it just doesn't taste the same. I think it's a mixture of how they make it there with the ingredients they have their like their local water source, and then also like their ovens.
Like it's just hear me out. I've got a cast iron. We take the cast iron, it should fit in your pizza oven, and we try and make our own.
Well, can try that.
I'm turning over as soon as this fucking episode's done, so fire that bitch up.
Okay, what do you got for food?
The cronut, the fucking chrone was invented and it came out in twenty fourteen. The cronut was revolutionary. It is a croissant doughnut. And if you ever had one, bro oh, that is that is the best sex in your mouth food you will ever fucking have. Is a cronut. I can taste it now that I'm talking about it.
It is sweeter than eating a kettle corn kernel out of your mom's asshole.
Facts. Yeah, it's been there, done that. Not the same.
That kettle corn kernels covered in powdered sugar.
No, not yet, don until the end stone.
What do you got.
Powdered sugar. No, I got avocado toast. That's when the world was introduced to avocado toast. And I shed on it forever, id on for a long time.
I am shedding on it.
And then I had one and I added brisket to it, and I was like, oh, so you made delicious.
He made a California brisket sandwich.
Cool one hundred percent. One hundred percent was so good.
It wasn't as good, but I delay it.
Yeah, of spice some things up, you know, I was getting a little tired of the egg combination. Crazy.
He added, He added brisket, tomato, onion, and another piece of toast.
Can't forget to lettuce. It's California pickles, some pickles, fries spread, you know, mega animal style.
Dey cuts the lobby on it too.
It dude, I was so. I was.
I was at the delis at the store. I was getting cold cuts and I had asked the guy to cut it on a one, and there's an older woman next to me and she's like, cut it on a one. What do you mean is that slang? I was like, no, it's the setting. It's the thinnest setting that they will cut it on is to cut it on a one. They have one, two three. It's basically shaved meat. And she's like, oh, I didn't know you could do that.
I hate my meat thick. I just well, man, it's your lucky day.
It's like you're welcome, You're well. Anyway, lastly, it's kicking it.
Take a minute.
What were you guys doing in twenty fourteen? What's going on for you?
Another major getting a divorce.
I was like, which is why When you said, like, why would you pick twenty fourteen of all the years, I was like.
Oh, yeah, that's a great part. For that part of it. It means like, yeah, okay, it was shitty at times and like you know, having to.
Deal with it, but it was worth it in the end.
True that. Yeah, I was living at an apartment complex and a storage facility that you were in the most ghetto part of town. Uh you know, shout out Lake me and lamb damn. East Side was worse and force aren't we But yeah, that was a I remember the first week I was there, the Section eight complex right next to me, somebody opened up fire at two in
the morning. A whole lot of it too. It was like a lot of back and forth, and I was crying in my bed, holding onto my gun, like I big, the stupidest thing to do is come to this fucking side of town. Mom was right, goddamn it, it was so bad. I was there for four months and then they were like, yeah, so like the couple guys are getting booted, might as well have been. But it was like, it was like, oh god, it was so good. Actually no, yeah, maybe more towards five. It was like in February and
I got out of there. But yeah, it was a good time. Partied a lot there, hosted a lot of parties. I saw some wild ship at those parties there. It's so fucking funny this all went down at this business facility. Why would you let a fucking twenty one, twenty two year old fucking manager's apartment stupid? Oh god.
I was working graveyards, so I wasn't seeing much anybody when that was going down.
That year.
A year was rough for me. I was working a lot of graveyards.
Yeah, yeah, a lot of graveyards twenty fifteen. That was me. Jordan. Did you work graveyards any of your jobs? No, you didn't.
No, the latest I the latest I think I ever got off from a job was like eleven or twelve. The airport would have been the closest. But at that time, I mean even still, flights don't leave very often at midnight one in the morning, I mean more now. But when I worked back there late, the last flights were leaving at eleven or midnight, and then it.
Was it pretty slow. Yeah yeah, yeah at.
That time night yeah yeah. And then when I worked at Low's same thing. Like the latest I'd get off is like ten thirty eleven o'clock at night. So yeah, I'd rather work I've never worked a night shift. I'd rather work a night shift over like swing shift.
Swing shift sucked because I worked some swing shift too, and swing shift was back because your whole day was kind of gone, yeah right, like and with night shift you at least had some portion of the day that you could manage around. But with swing shift, you're you were fucked. You were just fucked. You know. The only day that you got that was good was was Friday, with whatever your Friday was.
Yeah, straight up, straight.
Up, straight up, Yeah to me, you really more love me forever.
So twenty fourteen, it's a wrap, that's a weird year.
It's a yeah it is, Yeah, it is.
It is a good year. I think it was kind of if if you look back, it's kind of the beginning of like a lot of troubles. I think Bill Cosby Carl really caused it all. If he wouldn't have been caught, I think maybe everything would have been fine, or maybe he just if he didn't do it at all, would So what that's what I really meant that. Oh no, obviously obviously don't fucking do that.
Take down.
The doc.
But that's what I mean, like, yeah, you know they'll cause me. I mean, because dude, he was a fucking icon.
Here's an icon, and he just it shattered everybody's world.
To think that that's what he was capable of doing.
Yeah, yeah, I think that's fair. That's a fair assessment, checks out.
Whatever.
I don't know. I don't know that that you're definitely had had good definitely bad, but good.
Also.
I was interested though, when you first pulled it up and then talking about the music, trying to figure out what came out there, because fourteen was kind of that change of a year for me where I went to the heavier side of things, like shortly thereafter, like twenty fifteen. Twenty fifteen, What's was super heavy as far as musical Yeah, there was so many, so many more albums and stuff because I've done twenty fifteen.
They were upset about Bill Cosby.
Yeah, well maybe maybe maybe not inspiration whatever to rage against the Pudding Pops. Rage against the Pudding Pops, I mean bad Have you a badass song? How give me ten seconds? I got time of what I not doing boots and cats?
No, well, I'll save it for next episode. Next episode, I will have fifteen to twenty seconds of rage against the Pudding Bops. I'm not doing it right now.
Oh too high for that ship you're looking in the name of button Bobs.
Fuck you, even if you told me nough gooko gooky notes. Oh I guess the end of that dudes, you got the nudes. The end of that song still range true. You don't even have to change the lyrics. Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me. Oh no, all right, well I love the cat Dad's on de quel episode? Would you say stone one fifty nine one?
One? What one point two? Okay?
God?
Catch you next week?
Peace out?
That's out.
Yeah, I'm ready for it. Let's go, what's the hardest.
Thing about what's the hardest thing about beating Peter fitting In? You know what? Kidding Sorry,