Dad's on deck. Well, would like to draw your attention to the fact that the following content is made up of humorous adult material and is intended for immature and not easily triggered audience. You have been warned. Hey, Jordan, hmmm, so my doctor said that I should do lunges to stay in shape. But that's a big step forward, and I don't know for ready. It's true, it's true. Time has wasted, it's summertime. Now, it's not time to get in shape. It's time to just get further
out of shape. Correct, so they get into shape. Months are gone and there's nothing else that you can do about it except for cry every time you put on a bathing certainly in the mirror and remind yourself that you are now a muffin for breakfast. You put a bathing suit on. When you cry, that makes me a mini muffin. A mini muffin. Yeah, you're one of those mini muffins. And I'm just a fucking weird shaped jew hot dog. Okay hmm, okay, that's like bulging in the middle.
It's like the ends were tied too tight and like so when you started boiling, it all went to the middle. Yeah, yeah, okay, it's weird and the little end, the little end tie piece, that's your dick, yep, okay yeah, and then my Jamaica oh on the top. I like it. Yeah, that's that's a classy. Yeah, that's this classy Jesus Christ. Well, Dad's on dequo Is episode I'm known, I'm Dome. I am still reeling from our special Olympics talk from last week that
was very special? Really is that a wheelchair joke? Uh No, I didn't say wheeling relaying? Okay, oh man, you did send some good videos though this week. I did. Yeah, there that one of I don't even know who that guy was, but it was like five and a half minutes long. And when you said it's a long one but it's worth it, I'm like, okay, I got time. I could sit down and watch this for a second. Yeah, And after a minute, I'm like, there, I really want to watch this whole thing. But it
was so interesting that I couldn't stop. So that was I think that that one was Tucker Carlson. Was that Tucker Carlson? I thought it looked like from Fox News. I thought it looked like Tucker Carlons but but what was really cool about it was that he goes into all the alien talk and how how aliens are real and why he knows that they are real, and I mean we can I mean we can go in on it if you want, or we can wait till the Extra Dose. But uh, I thought it
was pretty cool some of the stuff that he divulged. Maybe we can expound and deeper on an Extra DOS episode next month. But the one of the takeaways that I thought was really interesting, which I guess this could play into the Center Earth theory, okay, is that our minds of aliens coming from outer space seem to be tricked and they're actually coming from the water. Yes,
which is mind fucking bending. But yet it makes a lot of sense, right, Yeah, Like if you think about it, because if they were coming if they were coming from space, we would see them a lot more frequently than if they were coming from the ocean, correct, And if they're coming from the ocean, they can come up in these places where we are not located. Well, and think about it, how much ocean have we not even explored exactly? And then and then how he goes into how
fast they can move in water? Yes, and it's it's like it's just mine been, you know. Like the compare the comparison he makes is if you if you were to stand in a regular pool, in a regular pool, I think it was like twelve feet or something like that, or twenty feet or something, yeah, something like that, and you shot a gun from one end to the other, you could catch the bullet correct and not
be hurt. Correct. That is how much velocity is affected. And how fast is that bullet going bullet normally going outside of out of the muzzle. Oh yeah, because outside of the water, you're not you know, you're
not catching it. Thousand feet per second something like that. Haul an ass and these these uh what are they called ships, right, these memarines, Yeah, the uf the UFOs, these vessels that that these you know, aliens opposed supposedly aliens right are traveling in are going at like one hundred knots per mile or one hundred knots per minute. It's fucking ridiculous. Which is
insane, Which is fast, Yeah, yeah, which is fast. Yeah, it's like one hundred and ten miles per hour, one hundred and twenty miles from the in the water, Yeah, in the water under the water, not just like but under the water where you have all of that friction being forced upon you losing no speed and you are losing no speed. That's crazy with no propulsion either, which then just it just starts to expound on
itself. Like, so do they live in the water. Is there is there some like cave system that they're going to that they eventually have atmosphere like center Earth theory? Yeah, Like, well, I mean we know that there's caves in China that go underground miles that are forty stories tall. Yeah,
that have their own ecosystem. You know, there's we do know that there are caves in certain bodies of water that have their own little ecosystem and have pockets of oxygen that you know, can sustain life for X amount of time. Right, there's the theory that there's a gigantic hole in Antarctica that you know, goes down into the center of the Earth. Some people believe
it, some people don't. Evidently there's proof out there. I haven't looked it up yet, but I recently saw something about that in the last couple of weeks, and I didn't really dig into it because I'm like, I got enough conspiracy theories going on at one time that I don't need to dive in anymore. Yeah, okay, Rogan brings up enough of them to cover everybody's for a fucking and you know, there's nothing wrong with his stuff,
Like it's all fascinating. I just don't have the time to listen to that length of I just don't have the time to commit to a two to three hour episode, even if the whole thing is phenomenal, because they usually are, yeah, very very intriguing, informative and capturing. But I just don't want to spend five days or four days of my drive trying to listen to one episode. I got other shit to do. Yeah, I got like
fantasy football to prep four to lose at in the next months. So I said, it's so weird, like right, I have such a hard time with breaking something like that up, Like I could be engulfed in what it is, but if I have to break it up into multiple episodes or multiple viewings or listenings, I will lose interest. Yeah, and not to the fault of the content, but it's just the way my brain works. Yeah,
but you're over it. Yeah, you give me thirty minutes worth of fucking special Olympics, and I'm all in, yeah, you know, so, yeah, I'm actually glad to see that a video you sent to our chat the other day that your TikTok still is just littered with vegetables, Like, I mean, it's amazing. I'd like to play that on here, but I don't think it would come across the same way. You have to see the face because she's deaf. She's yeah, yes, yeah. If
we were a video podcast, w'd be different. We could throw it up on the screen and then show everybody. I'll throw it in discord. Yeah, you could do that for the For the Patreon members, they'll get to see it that we're talking about. A couple of them have already seen it, so but the rest of them will enjoy it absolutely. Oh yeah, all right, Well how was your dad week? It was interesting. So
I got a temporary promotion at work. I guess ran into a little bit of a pickle at work where one of the construction managers and they offered me this job. A while back. They said, hey, this you know, this construction manager doesn't want to stay on site, he wants to leave. We want you to take the position. I said, no, because it was only going to be for X amount of months, and then after that was done, then I would be stuck in the position and I have
to travel, and I didn't leave the kids. I do remember this, So I said no to it. I said no to it, But it came around again where he's like, hey, I need to leave. I'm going to be gone for a couple of weeks. Can you fill in? So I said yes, So for the two next two weeks, I will be the construction manager, like full blown construction manager over everything essentially, which will be kind of cool. So do you have to wear a hard hat at work? Have you ever thought about drawing a yamica on top of your
hard hat? Just curiosity. I'm gonna do it now. I just or even just straight up by a yamica and just put superl it like gorilla glue it onto the hard hat. Yeah. There's a couple of people that have some political uh stickers, sure fuck Donald Trump. It says FDT on it, you know. And then there's there was one kid. Uh he's got a big giant sticker on the back of his truck and uh it says ass
Snorkeler. Okay, Yeah, so, and it's got a picture of a girl bent over with her butt cheeks showing, and uh, so we get away with some stuff. But well, you'd get away with that, But so I would assume I would get away. It's not like you're parading around
with the with the swastika on your goddamn helmet. Uh. There was a guy that had There was a guy that had a modified Confederate flag on the back of his vehicle that said try and tread on me, and he got in trouble and he was asked to not bring his vehicle or the sticker on
site. Again. So people are so soft yep. Whether you agree with it or disagree with it, or whether it is over the line, the fact that the fact that people get so bent out of shape and you have to conform to their yes, to what they believe in, that that goes strictly against everything, and it's it's frustrating. I will say. The only time I agree, the only time I agree with with asking or expecting or maybe even imposing upon someone is when your opinion directly negatively affects other people.
Like racism, correct, yeah, I agree, right, or bagotry right, I agree with that. But I'm saying, like, you get people that just get to the point of they they get upset because of you know, you have a Trump twenty twenty four sticker. Yeah, and they're like
that, you know what I mean. And it's like or or vice versa a Biden sticker, and it's just like there's there's an extent where you've got to draw a line in the stand of course, like blatant racism, you know whatever, but when it comes to other stuff, it's just like grow the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, I actually, uh, I got I had I get yelled at. You'll like this one. I got yelled at during the week this last week at worked because I caught a guy pissing
outside. And I don't know if you are if you remember how sensitive our site is, but that's a fireable offense. Like it's not just public indecency, but we are on tribal land. It is extremely offensive to the people in which we work on their land, like it's a bad thing. So however, I am of the mindset of I will give anyone one chance. And it's so instead of going directly to the uppers, I went directly to this guy's boss and I was like, look, I'm just gonna let you
take care of this. This is what I saw. I don't know what the situation was. I'll let you talk to him. I'm not gonna take it anywhere else. You deal with it, right. And a couple days later I come back and I was like, Hey, did you talk to that guy about it? And he goes, yeah, he said that he just couldn't hold it, so it was either do it there or piss in his pants. And I looked this fucking manager, dead dead in the eyes and said, you mean to tell me that he couldn't fucking make it one
hundred feet. He was at the back of the fucking construction yard. There was a porta potty a hundred feet in front of him, and he had a vehicle that moves for him. He didn't even have to walk the hundred feet. That's a bullshit excuse. I promise you, the next thing that this motherfucker does wrong, it's going straight to the client. And I don't give a shit what happens. Facts Yep, why not? Yep? To those people, I say, you can fucking suck a dick, yeah,
because that's bullshit. That's where my kindness gets taken advantage of and I didn't appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, I did see it in our chat. You saw it as well, but doesn't mean I read it. He might not have because he actually had to read. AJ actually posted a thing. I don't know where he saw it or whatever, but the picture says, your triggers are you, your responsibility. It is not the world's obligation to tiptoe around you. And I was like, I've actually seen that before a
couple other times, and it's true, Like it excuse me. I actually just recently, well within the last year or so, I use that to asst to fix some of my own problems because I have a problem with people who chew with their mouth open. And I have kids and so much, and on a lot of occasions they chew with their fucking mouth open like cows. And I used to just blurt that out, what are you a fucking cow? Chewed your mouth closed? And when I saw that, I realized
that's not their problem, that's my problem. But but what I did do is I switched the way I addressed it. So instead of instead of yelling at them and telling them that they were being cows, instead of telling them that they were doing something that bothered me. I explained to them why it was disrespectful to do. I think that's the key, because I think if you taught them, hey, you should chew with your mouth close, because it's not decent to chew with your mouth open and smack and you know,
it's just because it's not that. That's probably one of the biggest triggers for a lot of people. Yeah, in the world of like listening to people that chew with their mouth open and it's yeah, I get your reaction is one thing, but then also teaching them, you know, hey, chew with your mouth closed. You know, stop being a cave man, stop being whatever. Yeah, but yeah, So how was your week? It
was good, Uh, a decent week. I had one of the days I actually got the work in Kingman, so it was nice that I had a thirty second drive instead of a forty five minute drive. Fuck you my one day a month. Yeah, makes a huge difference, it does. It makes a huge difference being five minutes away from work versus fifty five minutes away from Yeah, because if you get done at five o'clock, you're home at five oh five at the latest. Yell versus at six six fifteen.
Yeah. Well, and and what most people don't realize too, is a drive like that for us in the in the area that we are in, that forty five minute drive can just deplete your ambition. Yeah. So you could be you could leave work with you know, this this ambition and this energy, but by the time you get home after that drive, you're done, Like it just it just kills it, Yeah, because you're just sitting there for forty five minutes, Yeah, listening to music or this podcast yep,
and these sweet, sweet sounds. But yeah, other than that, it was good. My son started his uh his lifeguard orientation today, so that's good. And then both of our kids are done with school. Yeah, he finished school, yep, yesterday was his last day, and so he's he's done for the summer. And then this weekend, the stone's coming down. We're gonna do wait, we're gonna do a barbecue. We may or may not record an episode with him to put out in the next couple
of weeks. Maybe maybe not. We'll we'll see what happens. It depends on how drunk we get tomorrow. Let's just be honest, true, I don't plan on drinking. But oh, you know, I don't plan on drinking. No, I'm becoming a soft ass bitch these days. Wow, ye, are you gonna at least try some of the absence that I have? Fuck? No, I told you I'm not drinking that ship. Come on, one shot, because then I'm gonna look around the pulling like where
the fuck did everybody go? And then I'm gonna turn around and there's gonna be some lady yelling at me because I'm gonna pull three streets over. It's one shot, dude, Come on, it's absence. You don't know. It's not that bad. We don't know. You'll be fine. It might be you'll be fine. I might not be. I won't. I'll put the mushrooms on the pizza. I might not be Tom saying, oh, have you ever done mushrooms? No, no, I have. Out of all outside of wheat, out of all other drugs, they would be the
one that sparks my curiosity the most. Yeah, in a controlled environment, yes, Yeah, that's those are the ones that I would be willing, like, put me in a room where I can't get anywhere and can't hurt anybody. Yeah, and know that I'm taking like a truly like safe dose to give me like a good fucked up high. Maybe, yeah, like that would be the one that intrigues my mind. Yeah, out of all of them, I've the more I've learned about it, the more interested I
am. But it's the same situation. My brain says, you need to control it because last time I did it, I ended up jumping off a fucking deck twenty feet into a bush. It was not fun. Look at that pool, it was not fun at all. I'd imagine not I imagine. I'd imagine it is not fun at all. I don't. Yeah, that's the thing. Control, like a trolled area, a safe area. That's that's where I'm at. Do you think Bratdany Griner had a controlled safe area when she was in prison? Probably? Yeah, probably. I like
how she's gone straight butch oh yeah, like straight. Butch. I also saw a thing today. Maybe it was in our chat. I think it was in our chat that she got pissed off that the crowd wasn't sold out.
Yeah, and it's like, yeah, it wouldn't. It could be look we to James, and it could be the Lebron James sister who's like the best female player ever, it's not going to sell out because it's the w it's the w n B A, it's the w n B A. In fact, I'm pretty sure that more people boycotted her her game than prior to before, Like there were more people they didn't have any interest in it, but took an interest in it just to say that they weren't going to
go. I'd be willing to bet as bad as aj is at sports and is you know he is unathletic to a t, right, you me AJB word and Jake could. We might not beat n w NBA team, but we could keep it close. And that's saying something, at least for the first half. That's saying something because these some of these women are athletics. It's not that they're athletic, it's not that they totally are athletic. But I just think there's well, that's why I said for the first half,
yeah, we might gas out. We'd be like, well we had you the first half come on, right, Yeah, But I don't know. I just think it's like, you know, whatever we could get, we could get on that topic. But I think I think women expecting to make the same as men in sports. Men's sports have been around a lot longer, so they are well different trained athletes. And I think a perfect example is you have a guy who identifies as a female. That guy was ranked
four hundred something in all national college athletes and swimming. He switches to women and wins the national championship, set records and set records, at records, set records. Yeah, that's my point. It happened. It happened to somebody in tennis too, Like there was an amateur in tennis that did it, yeah, yeah, And then there was there was one in I think it was powerlifting. Yeah, and the fucking dude came out and just demolished
people. Like take, could you imagine the top top UFC fighter, who's a woman going against a man the same size as her or within ten pounds, who's the top of that men's division. I'll do you even one better. Let's take let's take the top female boxer and put them against Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson now, Mike Tyson, Now yeah, not a chance, Nope, not not a chance. But no, she's gonna be Rihanna.
This isn't Chris Brown, and this isn't us being sexist. No, it's biological, it is chemical, it is physiological, it is it is there is a difference in the way the DNA is built. Yeah, it's just that simple. One thing that I am a proponent on is do I think that women deserve more coverage in sports. Absolutely, because that's the only way
to get people more engaged into them and to watch them. Yep. But also I think there's a big part of it of if you created a women's football league in the next five years, how long is it going to take to them to be at a competitive level like the men are, because they've been doing it for a long time at a professional level. And it's funny that you brought up the women's football league because in my mind, right before you started to talk, I was like, and the other thing we need
to do is not make women's sports a gimmick like the lingerie league. Correct, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. It's fucking sexy to watch women in lingerie beat the piss out of each other. However, it's also fucking sexist. Yeah, And if you want to be taken serious as a sport and you are as an athlete, you need to not be put in that position along with putting yourself in that position, I think so. I think another big point to it is you look at any women's sports.
If you watch the top two teams play each other, they're super fucking exciting. Right, Well, yeah, US women's soccer and Canadian women's soccer two of the best on the planet. But you have US women's soccer versus women's egypt soccer, it's a blowout hockey. Canada women US women phenomenal fucking games when you watch the two of them, and some of those the second they play another team, even Finland's we'd known for hockey, it's not even a
contest. It's not even a contest. And I think that's where you differ is that the in the women's sports, the top end talent is very fucking
good, but there's not depth correct across across the playing correct. And the one thing that's different too is like, like we said, it's the it's the coverage, right, So the advertisement for men versus women is tenfold, if not larger, right, Like, that's probably underestimating it, to be honest with you, But once you start getting that coverage and make you make the events relative like, it can't. It can't be gimmicky. It has
to be relative. There has to be. Part of the reason why men's sports is larger than women's sports is because women were not told that it is a thing. That's that we men. Men were told you have two options in life. You're either a fucking grunt or you play sports. Yeah, that's it. Women were told. Women were told that they were either in the kitchen or in the bed. Yeah, they were never told they can
be athletes. This is new and granted, granted it's been peaking over the last fifteen to twenty years, but that's still a drop been the bucket when you look at it as a whole. Baseball for men has been around for how fucking long, over one hundred years exactly. Yeah, sports for women is still young. It's still only thirty years old, twenty five years old,
depending on the sport, correct, depending on the sport. And even at that, it is it started slower than any male sport that was out there, right, because men have been playing sports since like you think of even gladiators that was considered a sport bingo, and it's something that men have always enjoyed doing, is playing sports. And watching sports, correct always,
correct, always, And like how many, how many? How many women grew up I'd love to know, Like, if you're listening to this and like you want to challenge, I'd love to know how many women grew up in a household where their mom was sitting in front of the TV watching sports all the time. Yeah, even nowadays? Yeah, exactly not, it's not as big of an interest. Probably be more. Yeah, one, he's easy. I mean they're out there, you know, they're they're out
the women are out there that they do watch sports. Do they watch it in the same capacity as as men do? I still don't think so. No, No, it's not. It's not as devoted. You know that. That's the other thing too, you know when we like blood, sweat and tears for some team that has no ships given for us, they don't even know we exist and they don't know and if and we live our lives by that team. Yeah, it's just the fact, yep, it's just
the fact that, you know, it's a what's what's your favorite? What's your what would be your favorite sporting event? To get a burger at? None of them? That's I don't think I've ever gotten a burger from a sporting event. No, because they're like that the majority of it. They'd be like that plane like frozen burger that you get, like you know those rose and patties that come in a box and they always burn the ship. Like that's the kind of burger you're Yeah, that's the burger you're gonna get.
It's like a burger chip. Can you bite into it? It snaps? Yeah? Yeah? What what's your what's your favorite fast food burger? Just my straight up favorite? Yeah. Do you want to talk about the list that some fucking jackass published? What is it called the Tasting Table? Yes? Yes, so we have the This is the list of thirteen different
fast food burgers. This is what we'll do. We'll go through this list and see what we agree with and disagree with, and then we'll give our our favorite fast food burgers at the end, whether they're on this list or not. Deal. So, uh, Number one, it's perfect time in summertime. It's time for barbecuing, burgers, hot dogs, all that stuff. Not Number one. Number thirteen Dairy Queen. I hate Dairy Queen, Absolutely hate Dairy Queen for food. I will I love their ice cream.
Yeah, but nothing about dairy Queen says, oh, let me go get a burger and some fry from dairy Queen. Fun fact, nowhere does it say dairy Queen serves ice cream, and dairy Queen themselves will not admit that they serve ice cream. Just a little fun fact for you there. I'll let you. They just call it frozen treats. Yep, I'll let you. Conspiracy theorists look that up on your own. Interesting number twelve. McDonald's
hate fucking McDonald's. Nothing about McDonald cannot fucking so. I used to like McDonald's when I was younger, and then I realized what the food was, and I cannot fucking stand it. Can't look at it, don't want it, cannot stand McDonald's. Never liked McDonald's burgers, though I always liked other things at McDonald's. I the only one that I truly like at McDonald's still is a quarter pounder, and it's only because they still actually do make that
fresh when you order. Because if you go to McDonald's right now and you order a quarter pounder, you'll get up to the window, you'll pay, and then they'll ask you can you pull around front you order anything else on the menu, you will have it at the window after you pay, within a minute or two. Really, if it's a quarter pounder or double quarter pound or any of that, you have to pull around front because they actually
have to make that. Hmm. It's the only thing interesting. Number eleven Burger King, same as McDonald's. I could care fucking less about burger King. You know the only thing about Burger King I liked where they're chicken fries. Uh huh. But for some reason, what happened is that when I was working for Dish Network, I used to get the Burger King here all the time. That's just you know what, three blocks away from my house,
yeah, five minutes away from my house or whatever. And every time I ate there, it made me sick, like puked, puked up every ounce of the food that I ate. So I stopped eating there. So if you give me a Burger King that is clean and they are like, it's a good staff, which hardly any of those exist anymore. Okay, I do love the whopper as it comes. Don't take anything off of it, don't add anything to if anything, add maybe one more packet of ketchup
to it. Is it the Charboro that you like, just everything in it together with the Charboro, I will admit they always smelt good. Yeah. Number ten I've never even heard of. Maybe this is just our own. This is probably an East Coast thing Checkers and Rallies. So I at first I thought I heard about this, but I think I've seen something about it, but didn't like actually register what it was, so I couldn't speak on
Checkers and rallies. Checkers and Rallies sounds like some like restaurant, not so much a fast food joint, but more like a Red Robin type joint, or you know what I mean. That's what it sounds like to me. You don't want Checkers and Rallies remind me of what do you call an extra large bottle of lube in Alabama? Jesus Christ Family size number nine. Culvers. Have you had a burger from Culvers? We do have a Culver's here. I have not, so I love their custards, love their butterfly shrimp.
Oh they're shrimp's fantastic. Shrimp is so good. Their shrimp is fantastic. Yep. But I've not had a burger from them. It is it is mid at best, really, it is mid at best. You can see it's one of those things like it looks really good. It's very basic. There's not much flavor to it. It's it's just eh. Number eight. I've never had a burger from this place, but I can talk about it. It's called Portillo's, Okay. So they are mainly out of Illinois.
There is one in Scottsdale, and I've actually had the one in scotts I've had the one. I've had one of them in Chicago and downtown Chicago. They are known for more known for their Chicago style hot dogs and they're Italian beefs and they're Italian beefs fucking top tier. Yeah, they're delicious burgers. Have no fucking clue. It looks good. I've also heard about them, and I've also heard that their burgers are pretty good. Yeah, but
I've never had them. Yeah. Yeah. Number seven Wendy's. Eh. I had a I had a There was a while when I worked at the airport in Vegas. Yeah, and I could have a weird shift, like I could be on a shift schedule where I was working that swing shift like two to eleven. Yeah, and on my way home, I'd want to eat and there's not much open. But Wendy's was on the way home and it was always open at that time, and I was on a kick for a long time where I would get their double burger. Yeah, and it
hit do you know what? So they haven't they have this like well, I don't know if they haven't any Morks haven't gone in a while. But they had this like a spicy bacon jam thing and that on the burger was I remember that. That on the burger was pretty good. But when I go to Wendy's, I get chicken, I'm surprised. Chicken sandwich. Yeah, the spicy chicken. Yeah yeah, the spicy chicken at Wendy's. I
would put that up against almost any other spicy chicken sandwich. I love their spicy chicken, and people that hate on it are just extra Chrogemozau period number six. I'm really surprised how high this is on the list. White Castle. So you know why I think White Castle is as high on the list as it is because the lore, Yes, so I can I can speak for this because coming from the East Coast, white castles fucking everywhere. The
burgers are average at best. I've heard. I've heard the because I've never eaten at a white Castle, okay, but I've heard the frozen burgers that you buy tastes pretty much no different than what you're getting at White It's correct, and the only difference is that the way the onions taste. That's what I've heard, and I will say, when they're fresh, the onions make the burger. Therefore the burger. The burger is just a burger. So it's the bread and the onions and the fact that you get, like,
I don't know, thirty of them in a fucking pack. They're tiny, right, they're bite size. There's two bites and they're gone, right, you know what I mean. So they're eh, they're okay. But it's more about the allure than it is anything number five sonic, you know. I don't. I don't get it. I don't either. They have, at least here and Ares they have a hatch green chili burger, and that is actually really really good. Correct. But again, it's the toppings that
make it. It's not the burger. It's the hatch green chilies and the mustard they put on there make it great. It's not the burger itself. If you just go get the number one, which is their classic burger. It's very very basic and not a whole lot of greatness to agree number four five guys one of the best. I think I would agree with that. And and but you have to get it with fries. I think the burger by itself does end up you end up missing something in the experience because the
fries are part of what make five guys. Their pickles are fantastic, yep, and yep, their pickles. There's only there's only one other place that pickles on the burger are as good as five guys, and five guys pickles. What I love about five guys, like when you compare five guys in in and out right, I feel like those will be probably two of our tops for both of us. But five guys topping choices, I mean, there's a lot of choices, and it doesn't but the problem I have a
five guys. The cost. Yeah, if I take my wife and son and my daughter to go eat at five guys, it's sixty bucks. Ye. And now not much else is There's not much that's much cheaper nowadays. No, but but sixty bucks for four burgers, And I think of fries' that's the However, I got a little friendly hack for you. They cannot tell you no to extra bacon, and you can ask for as much extra
bacon as you would like, and it is free of charge. Interesting A huh, so you could literally get enough extra bacon to serve yourself breakfast the next morning. I like that. I like that number three Shakeshack. It's my number one, never had it, it's my number one. It's fucking delicious. I'm sad that you haven't experienced this yet. Shake Shack is delicious. They season, they season the burger great. It looks fantasy. It's one of those thin, juicy, fucking burgers. It looks like a Wendy's
burger, but really really fucking good it is. It's exactly what it is. And then when you pair that with one of their shakes because I mean, it's fucking Shakeshack, right, so fucking delicious. And uh. One thing that's super underrated from Shakeshack that most people don't know is they have fried pickles. You take the fried pickles and you put it on the burger.
Fucking game changer. So good. Interesting. Uh. Number number two on this list is in and out Okay, Now, depending on where you're listening from this, if you're East coast and you've never made it to the west, you've never had in and Out. It's a West coast thing, yep. And it's along the interstates. That's all I'm gonna say about in and Out right now, because it'll be it'll be towards the top of my if not at the top of my list, and then i'll give it a full
breakdown. Number one on here. I've never heard of burger PI looks pretty damn good. Yeah, no, fucking clue. It looks great. It kind of almost looks like a sloppy Joe type bird. It does a little bit in the picture, but it does a little bit. Yeah, never heard of it. I can't believe Red Robin's not on this list. I don't consider Red Robin fast food or what a burger? What a burger I would consider fast food? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think what
a burgers is. That's crazy cracked up, and I know those are fighting words for some people. I can't believe Sean Hickson, sucking dick. He ain't listening, Yeah, hein't listening, so because he's busy sucking dick, but I can't believe it's not on the list. Yeah, so all right, well let's do your top five. Okay. So I'm gonna go with traditional whopper at number five. Okay, I'm not doing any honorable mentions, and I'm gonna keep this list to realistic fast food, at least from my
point of view. Like I wouldn't include even if I've had shakeshack, I wouldn't include them in my list only because I can't get them, okay without driving to Vegas. Okay, Right, so I got to drive an hour and a half to get that. That's not fast food. I mean, it is considered fast food, but you know what I mean, I have to go way out of my way to get it. Okay, So I'm gonna keep it more towards what is available to me. Okay, fair enough?
Uh? Number four quarter pounder quarter pounder, which cheese. It's it always hit. It is one of the few things that McDonald's that actually does still taste pretty damn good when you get it. And like I said earlier, you get the a little bit of freshness because they actually have to make it when you order it. It's not some patty that just sits there in a humidifire heater. Thing Number three is the is the Western Bacon cheeseburger from
Carls Junior. It's so fucking good that charboil, the barbecue sauce, the onion ring cheese. It's fantastic. Number two for me is five guys, and I actually have I kind of have a weird burger there. I get grilled onions, pickles, ketchup and hot sauce, and it is every time, even if I'm not in the mood for five guys, it's still good. Number one, hands down for me In and Out. And the reason I say in and Out is because it is purely fresh. And I have
not once with those other burgers. There's been times where it's like, man, that didn't hit the way I wanted it to. There has not been a single time ever that I've been to In and Out and it was bad. They could fuck up my burger and it's still delicious. Yeah. One thing I think that's underrated with In and Out is their toppings too. And their pickles are the other one I was talking about earlier. Yeah, their pickles are fantastic, Five guys. Pickles are fantastic. All other places that
I've ever had pickles are very very basic and not very good. Okay, like McDonald's pickles disgusting. Yeah, well McDonald's disgusting. Yeah, in general, what's your top five? All right? So Carl's Junior is my number five. I like a couple of different burgers. I didn't really iron down one specific burger like you did for each one. It just kind of it's it's the restaurant as a whole, yeah, just place as a whole.
So Carl's Junior is number five. I actually think it's very underrated. I don't like anything else about Carl's Junior, which is which is kind of unique because most of the time with fast food, I like everything but the burger for most places. So three and four are a tie. It is in and out and five. Guys, those can be interchanged at any point in time, like there are some days when I want one more than the other. It's just again that has to do with the experience, slash the mouth
feel like that's another thing. The mouthfeel of an in and out burger is very distinct. Yes, right, So the way it eats. Number two for me is one that hasn't been talked about. A and W. That's a good pick. A and W is so good. And again it might just be a West Coast thing, it's not. I know it is at least in the Midwest. Okay, I do know it's it's more popular in the Midwest than it is West Coast. Okay. So A and w's phenomenal.
And again, like whole experience, that's a good call. So and then number one for me is Shakeshack, Like, dude, I'm sad that you have not had it, and you need to have it. It is so good. If I was really breaking down number one for me, but because it is considered fast food, but it is no but here in Kingman, and it's smash Burger smash burgers. I'm sorry now, smash Burger stuff
it stuff here, stuff at Burger out here in town. Yeah, because it's a local, family owned place and their burgers are I would put if I had to make my top five burgers I've ever had, because this whole list in and out would be probably an honorable mention on best burgers I've ever had. Oh yeah, ever, and that's not Homemae Burgers, but places I've had like gourmet burgers and ship like like the top two. There's a place in Detroit that you get a menu. One side of the menu is
burger, the other side of the menu salad. You build it. And this is downtown right by their by their baseball park. That is probably number one. Number two was in Dallas and it was just this place that was I was. I was on a weekend doing those well, this is when I was doing this travel job on the weekends for the job that I do. It was a side job that I was doing on the weekends. Make
an extra dough and I've got to travel around the country. So it was always I was one of those people like I'm gonna find a burger place because I'm not gonna be let down. Even if it's bad, it's still gonna be good. And Detroit was the one, and Dallas that this other place it did was fucking phenomenal, so fucking good. But but even still like fast food burgers, you don't want that, I actually really do like it, like if I was doing An honorable mention is the sourdough jack from Jack
in the Box that is pretty good, just the soured o jackets. Nothing that's again Jack in the Box is one of those ones where I like the chicken, I like the tacos. Their egg rolls are the best thing on the planet. Don't really give two ships about the fucking burgers, but their sourdough was good. Makes sense, So agreed, agreed. Okay, well, do you have anything else? Should get s matrop plugs in there, go for it. Okay. That means I got a hold the button into
it. I don't even which one. I don't remember which one. I think it's. I think it's I think it's. Oh, there it is. We turned that down. So you can find us anywhere. You can go to our link tree that's l I n K t R dot e E dome and then you can find all of our links to our socials, our merch you can find our Patreon, most importantly, where you can get extra episodes of this podcast that are a little bit more different than what we do,
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